Tag Archives: Baylor football

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

Posted on August 23, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

It is the official kickoff of Snarky Friday – my college football comments before Saturday’s big games. We must begin today as the Texas Aggies open next Thursday against Texas State University – formerly Southwest Texas State University.

Oh the joys of traffic for a week day football game. Classes are just beginning at Texas A&M, Blinn College and the school districts of the Brazos Valley. No one knows where they are going. No one knows how to drive. Tailgating on east and west campuses. RVs and tents and corn hole matches dominating the land surrounding Kyle Field. 30,000 people in town Wednesday for Midnight Yell. But I am excited and already have my maroon out shirt. Every game is a maroon out game.

In other Aggie news. The 12th Man of the Aggie football team is Braden White. He is from Florence Alabama. What do you think about that, Nick? Jimbo trying a little psych out maybe? See you October 12.

I now have access to the ACC Network because I am a loyal customer – aka subscribes to all of the other sports channels. For those only familiar with the LHN, other conferences share and fans have the benefit of seeing many more schools play many more sports.

And now to the meaningless college football ratings. I see that THE University of Texas is rated number 10 in several polls. The Horns should rip through the mediocre Big 12 Conference. We shall see if they can hold on to that ranking. September 7 and October 12 should take care of it. Prepare yourself to hear Tiger Rag and Boomer Sooner ad nausea. The road to the National Championship runs through the SEC, OU and Clemson.

I see where Baylor University and The University of Mississippi will play in Houston in 2020. Well, “Hotty Toddy, God Almighty!” Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Baylor, the largest Baptist school on the planet, with no drinking is playing Ole Miss where alcohol is consumed like water and the drinking age in Mississippi is 10?

And then Old Miss fans do the Toddy Chant.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, God Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

Nothing like cussing in your yell when Ole Miss plays Baylor. Maybe the Rebels will dance too.

I am so ready for it all. Kick-off is only days away. Must get prepared for it. Note to self – pick up Bloody Mary mix and vodka for 11:00 am games, beer for 2:30 games, and wine for 6:00 games. Yes, a case of each. That should hold me through the Aggie-Clemson game.

BTHO Texas State!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies

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Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Posted on December 28, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Congratulations to the Baylor Bears in their victory over the Vanderbilt Commodores by a whopping score of 45 to 38 in the Academy Sport and Outdoors Texas Bowl. Perhaps if you both field defensive squads next year, you can up your bowl game. Vandy, your defense looked it was Lionel Richie and the Commodores.

Earlier that day in the Walk-on Independence Bowl Duke realized it really is a basketball school and walked on in the second half to score some 45 unanswered points to win over Temple 56- 27.

In the New Era Pinstripe Bowl Wisconsin beat the Miami Hurricanes down to a Category Zero by a score of 35 to 3. May I suggest for a new era, you do not name a football game after a fabric pattern?

Today as I key this we have Purdue and Auburn playing in the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. Auburn? Purdue? Take a Nap? Hmm.

By the evening hours we begin to drift into the Better Big Boy Big School Bowls. These are the bigger games with top players.

It is during this time period we the multitude of players who get to play in The I Did Something Stupid and Made Poor Choices Bowl and/or The I’m Not Playing for My School Because I’m Going to Combine and Will Make Millions and You’re Not Bowl.

Let’ start with the West Virginia Hillbillies and Syracuse in the Camping World Bowl. Expect the usual tacky, home-spun looking WVA uniforms and some visually unaesthetic orange from Syracuse.  Hope the second string QB for WVA is ready.

If anyone is interest you can watch Iowa State and Washington State in the Valero Alamo Bowl. This does not begin until 8:00 so it is necessary to get a proper amount of sleep because Saturday starts the games with the best of the best.

Saturday begins with Florida and Michigan at noon in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. This sounds like Hooter girls making a peach cobbler bowl.

At the 3:00 hour we have the Creepy Leprechaun and the Halo Gold Helmets on the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame and another variation on orange on the Clemson Tigers. This is the Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic in the first of the College Playoff Semi-final Game. Not to worry. The game is Jerry World in Arlington and not the old Cotton Bowl Stadium where bowl games go to be canceled. Just a quick reminder to Notre Dame – you don’t play well in The Cotton Bowl regardless of where it is played. Clemson doesn’t need all of their players to beat you.

The second College Playoff Semi-final Game is the Capital One Orange Bowl at 7:00. We have the University of Oklahoma and the University of Alabama. Like Clemson, Alabama does not need all of players to beat anyone either. Why does OU go by OU when it should be UO? I don’t know.

Anyway you have OUUA or UOUA. or UAOU.  They all rhyme with Tua. ROLL TIDE!

 

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Friday, October 12, 2018 – The College Football Snark – Week Seven

Posted on October 12, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 12, 2018 – The College Football Snark – Week Seven

Let’s begin with the Big 12 Conference, which is really only 10, but that conference name was already taken.

In the TCU Turnover Game last night against Texas Tech, the Tech QB, Jett Duffey scored the winning touchdown giving Tech a 17-14 victory. To the best of my knowledge I am not related to the young freshman quarterback as I have not done an ancestor spit test. But he is from Mansfield, Texas and that is very close to Louisiana.

Tomorrow, of slight interest we find that the Cowboys of Oklahoma State drew the black bean and play Kansas State at 11:00 on ESPNU. Yawn.

At 6:00 on FS1 the West Virginia Mountaineers travel to Ames to meet Iowa State in the What Other Games Are On contest.

Sandwiched in the middle at 2:30 on ESPN we find the Bears of Baylor and the Horns of Texas. It is THE University versus THEE University in the Battle of Road Construction on I-35. The Bears will need a miracle, but hey it has happened before.

Moving on. At 11:00 on FS1 it is Ohio State and Minnesota. Ugly uniforms on both sides.

On ESPN at 11:00 it is Florida and Vanderbilt. The poor state of Florida got slammed by Hurricane Michael. When your peninsula divides into two parts will it be like Michigan? Or will one of the land masses declare independence?

On SECN we have a pissed off for last week’s loss against Mississippi State Auburn  and Tennessee at 11:00 on the SECN. Wish that I was there on Rocky Top…

The 2:30 time slot is once again this weeks’ game winner.

There is Michigan State vs Penn State on the BTN. I was unaware there was a Big Ten Network. The Big 12 has a network too. It is called The Longhorn Network and it does not share. It also only has commercials with has been players. But you can watch the 2005 Rose Bowl as many times as you want.

I will be getting carpel thumb syndrome as I switch between games at 2:30. It is LSU and Georgia on CBS in the Redeemer and Validation Game. Come on Mike, show us what you got. GEAUX TIGERS!

The other time slot finds the Fighting Texas Aggies versus the Gamecocks of South Carolina on SECN. Note to Uncle Will Muschamp – You will really have to work to get an Exploding Head Coach Award on Monday in order to beat Gary Patterson of TCU last night. Yes, there will be a photo on Monday. And yes, Gary, those pants make your butt look big. This just in from Reveille “I am not sitting for a photo op with the chicken. But I can chase it off the field if you like.”

At 6:00 on ESPN the Tide of Alabama rolls over and drowns the Tigers of Missouri. If Missouri scores 31 points on the Alabama defense, I’m pretty sure Coach Saban’s head will explode too.

I actually had a Nick Saban moment yesterday. Suddenly while in Academy I heard,

“Young Lady? Are you really going to spend almost $40.00 for that Astros T-shirt? Something that you might wear once or twice at tops?”

Me: Yeah. You’re probably right.

Saban: I probably am.

Me: I’ll wait for the 2018 World Series Winners T-shirt.”

Houston Astros and Boston Red Sox on TBS at 7:09.

BTHO South Carolina!

Saturday Socks.

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Monday, October 1, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Five

Posted on October 1, 2018 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 1, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Five

Here we go.

Alabama 56 Louisiana 14 – I don’t know why Alabama calls its mascot The Crimson Tide. They should call it The Crimson Tsunami. Nevertheless the Cajuns could not get it raging against as the Tide rolled over them. I award Nick Saban and the team The Steam Roller Award.

West Virginia 42 Texas Tech 34 – The Almost Heaven; Burning Couches Award goes to the West Virginia Mountaineers. I so love it when Tech loses.

OU 66 Baylor 33 – The Award for Just Showing Up goes to Baylor. Obviously, Murry and the Sooners were not looking ahead.

Texas 19 K-State 14 – Really? A good away win, but it is still Kansas State. I award the Horns of THE University of Texas the Remember There Are Four Quarters to Play trophy. This will not hook em in Dallas next weekend.

Florida 13 Mississippi State 6 – Chomp! To the Bulldogs of State I give you The Calendar Award. Women’s basketball season starts soon.

LSU 45 Ole Miss 16 – I award the Tigers of LSU The Cake Award. That victory was a piece of cake. I would also like to award the Ole Miss Coach the Ugly Coaching Outfit Award. That large of a shade of red rain gear took up a large portion of my screen.

Notre Dame 38 Stanford 17 – The Not Close and No Cigar Award goes to Stanford. When did Notre Dame take mustard as one of its colors? What is the color of the ND called? Metallic Mustard? Those looked radioactive. Award to ND – Ugly Uniforms.

Ohio State 27 Penn State 26 – For the fans of Penn State, you not only receive The Poopy Undies Award, you also receive awards for

  • The release of several bodily fluids that accompany fits of anger and disbelief.
  • The fluid release of curse words streaming from your mouth fit to embarrass the 7th Fleet Navy Fleet
  • The Dreaded Threaded Incline Plane Award – Screwed.

Texas A&M 24 – Arkansas 17 – Also receiving multiple awards are The Aggies. First we have the Pig Sty Award. That performance looked awful. I don’t want to be singing “We are the same Aggies; the same Aggies are we.” I was not happy.

Also not happy – The Aggies receive the award for Unhappy In Your Face Coach. If Jimbo ain’t happy, then nobody is happy. I doubt Mr. Tyrel Dodson will ever make that mistake again. Note: #25 Tyrel Dodson said “I deserved it.”

https://youtu.be/th68HGl30CU 

Even Reveille was not happy. “I did not sign up to sit by the pig. He stinks. I want to go home.”

The final award goes to Arkansas for the inflatable mascot. Worst Representation of Something. That is just wrong. As if the hog head hat was not enough now there is a mascot with a turd tail.

 

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Monday, September 04, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards.

Posted on September 4, 2017 | 2 comments

Monday, September 04, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards.

Let’s begin. Every NCAA Division I team receives a Poopy Undies Award. It was definitely a Jalapeno by Morning for many.

As predicted the Ugliest Uniform goes to Maryland. Argyle patterns only look good on socks, sweaters and court jesters.

The Charlie Brown Award for Worse Kick goes to the punter of Wyoming for missing the entire ball.

The Hangover Award goes to the Texas Longhorns, the Baylor Bears and the Texas Aggies. Like the movie, we all woke up and wondered “what the hell happened last night?”

All three schools are also recipients of The Hoover Award because you sucked! Throw in the Big Disappointment Award.

It is a tie for The Most Inauspicious Coaching Debut – Texas’ Tom Herman and Baylor’s Matt Rhule. I somehow doubt the alumni from each school were comforted by the announcers of both games saying “this is a good teaching moment for …” for Herman and Rhule. I am pretty sure they were expecting winning moments rather than teaching moments. I think teaching moments are called practice.

I am awarding the UCLA quarterback, Josh Rosen, The Timex Award. He took a licking, but kept on ticking.

The Clock is Ticking Award goes to Texas A&M Head Coach, Kevin Sumlin.

The Aloe Award goes to the entire Texas A&M Coaching Staff and especially the Defense. You got burned!

And the Still Number One Award goes to Alabama. Roll Tide! To Nick Saban: Do you have any assistants who want to move up to a head coaching position? I imagine there will be an opening after the Tide visits College Station if not sooner. I hear Coach Sumlin’s house has a pool.

I am giving up football. I am going to follow curling and synchronized swimming instead.

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Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

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Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 14, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Ship wreck 4

GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!

Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.

Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.

The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.

Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.

First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.

In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?

THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.

The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.

The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10.   Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?

The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:

Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!

The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.

The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.

And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.

The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:

Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.

Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!

Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.

Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”

Twelfth Man (800x600)

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Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Backstory for the new kids on the blog – I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. If your team is not mentioned let me know and I take it under consideration.

First from the West Coast – USC versus Oregon – I don’t even know the score, but you both receive the Rubber Duck Award.

Next on the list we have the Small 12 Conference or The Land of No Defenses.

THE University of Texas survived the plains of Lubbock with a victory over Tortilla Tech. (THE University 45 TT 37.) My favorite team is whoever is playing Tech.Tech (800x600)

Oklahoma State 43 K-State 37. Mullet Mike and The Cowboys survive. Both of you win a Poopy Undies Award for scaring your fans.

The Kick Off to Tip Off Awards goes to Baylor and TCU for posting a basketball score of TCU 62 Baylor 22 on the opening weekend of college basketball season. And the score was not the only Uglies coming from Waco.

An Ugly Uniform Award goes to Baylor. Fifty shades of Waco is not becoming. Gray is not colorful. Neither is black as in the black cloud of ugly that seems to be a stationary front over the institution. Therefore, Baylor also receives the Frozen Award – Let It Go!

Look, Bears Pooping in the Woods, it is bad enough without constant reminders of ugly. Please do not hang dirty laundry out your windows. Who gets the sales from the T-shirts?cab-sign-out-suit-copy-800x600Focus on the low level bowl game invitation you will now receive.

Letting go of that, let’s move on to the Top 10 and the SEC where games are more exciting and stressful.

The Bringing Home the Alligator Bacon goes to the Hogs of Arkansas! (Arkansas 31 Florida 10) Sooey Pig over 11th ranked Florida. Another favorite team is whoever is playing any school from Florida.

To players Chip Kelly of Ole Miss; Trevor Knight and Myles Garrett of Texas A&M, the Nebraska QB and all the others: All of you receive the Heal Quickly Award. Will miss you next weekend, Chip. I wanted to see you play against the Aggies.

And now the top tiered top ten college football awards. These 10 teams are listed according to today’s AP listings. Tomorrow we see who The Selection Committee votes for the Who’s In Top Four. Larry Culpepper and Dr. Pepper seem to be winning above all the others.

# 1 Alabama and LSU – (Bama 10 – LSU 0) Please share the following awards:

  • Best Football Game of the Weekend
  • A Special Edition of Poopy Undies Award
  • The “I Did Not Know I Could Hold My Breath for 47 Minutes” Award.
  • Defense – please share your videos with schools of the schools of the Small 12 Conference and perhaps these others listed below.

# 2 Michigan Maryland (Michigan 59 MD 3.) Michigan wins the Turtle Wax Award for waxing the Terrapins. Wolverines like turtles.

# Clemson and Syracuse (Clemson 54 Syracuse 0) – Clemson Wins the Too Much Orange on the Field Award.

# 4 Washington and Cal (formerly known as Berkley.) (Washington 66 Cal 27) Huskies receive the In the Right Rankings Now Award.

# 5 Louisville and Boston College (Louisville 52 BC 7) – Lamar Looking Heisman Good Award.

# 6 Ohio State and Nebraska (Ohio State 62 Nebraska 3) – The Huskers receive the Fun While It Lasted Award. Corn headwear really looks stupid when you lose to a nut named Bucky.

The Really Don’t Deserve an Award goes to the following:

# 7 Wisconsin and Northwestern (Wisconsin 21 Northwestern 7) – Badgers preparing for a bowl game where it is warm.

# 8 AUBURN? AUBURN! A hair color? You beat Vanderbilt by a touchdown 23 – 16! ROLL TIDE!

# 9 OU versus Iowa State (OU 34 Iowa State 24) – Bedlam is coming soon and The Cowboys are coming with it!

Coming in at # 10  is Texas A&M – where the Aggies should have been in the first place. (Texas A&M 28 Mississippi State 35) What a shipwreck in Starksville.

Aggies you receive a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Award because we sucked as bad as the referees. Even I saw the block in the back on Captain Kirk’s punt return.  Aggies win Pooper Scooper Award for leaving lots of it on the field.

Pooper Scoopers (800x599)

Nevertheless, “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…” and we do not lose – time on the clock runs out. We got your back, Jake!barn-n-park-9-22-16-2016-09-22-041-800x530

Tomorrow we see who the College Football Selection Committee votes for and who the citizens of The United States of America votes for. Please do not forget to cast your ballot. PS – we do not get to vote with the Selection Committee.

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Friday, November 4, 2016 – The Friday Football Snark – Who’s In?

Posted on November 4, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, November 4, 2016 – The Friday Football Snark – Who’s In?

The College Football Selection Committee announced on Tuesday, “Who’s In?” These are the four football teams that would match up for a national championship if the season ended on Tuesday. But the season did not end on Tuesday. Nor will it end on Saturday, but the Who’s In can change.

Before we see Who’s In, let’s begin with Who’s UP and Who are you?

Who is (are) the Idiots of Sports Programming who schedule football games at 11:00 am in the morning?

Moving along to Who’s Out? – These are the teams currently deemed out of contention for a National Championship in college football. However, one or two may go to a nice bowl game while the remaining will play in lesser bowl games in prime vacation spots like Shreveport, Louisiana. Well, you can go to the casinos.

From the Who’s Out from the Small 12 Conference:

Falling backwards to yesterday, OU defeated Iowa State 34 to 24. Do not forget to “fall back” and set your clocks back this weekend.

Coming to you live from Lubbock, Texas at the unholy hour of 11:00 am on FS 1 THE University of Texas plays Tortilla Tech. Flying breakfast tacos. Tech (800x600)

This should be an offensive delight. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

At the reasonable hour of 2:30 FOX brings us Baylor and TCU. This would have been more exciting if last weekend had not happened to both teams.

On ABC @ 2:30 the Cowboys of Oklahoma State play the Wildkats of Kansas State. FYI, Ms. Navasota – Bill Snyder is alive. Love you, Pistol Pete!

Who’s In? And Who Could Be In?

Surprising all of football and delighting all of Aggieland, the #4 Texas A&M Aggies play the Mississippi State Bulldogs. This is at the ridiculous hour of 11:00 AM on the “you must pay for it with your cable” the SECN. One game at a time Aggies! Vote for Conner McQueen for President! Trevor Knight for VP. Platform: “Gig ‘Em!”

Following the Aggies on ESPN @ 2:30 the Terrapins of Maryland play #3 Michigan. Please, oh please – The Turtle and the Hare! Maryland, My Maryland!

At the same time (2:30) on ABC in the Game of Orange we have Syracuse and # 2 Clemson. Go Round Orange Thing!

Otto the Orange

At 5:00 we have an Aggie Women’s Basketball Exhibition Game with Oklahoma City University @ Reed Arena. Go Lashes! No TV, but most of the season is on SEC.

Lashes 2 (800x450)

Returning home just in time for an evening of excitement:

On ABC at 7:00 Nebraska plays # 6 OHIO State. Go Huskers. Nobody likes nuts in their cornbread and Ohio uses plain bread to make dressing. Dreadful!

But rocking Baton Rouge at 7:00 PM on CBS the # 1 Alabama Tide rolls into Death Valley to meet the Tigers of LSU. So sorry dear Tide friends – but I gotta go with family on this one! Tiger Boogie! GEAUX Tigers!

And should you still be awake at 9:30 the # 5 Washington Huskies play the Bears of Cal  on ESPN. Go BEARS!Beer Bear

Twelfth Man (800x600)

12Th Man Statue – North Entrance to Kyle Field. College Station, Texas. Photo by me.

BTHO Mississippi State!

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Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

Posted on October 31, 2016 | 2 comments

Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

College football on Saturday was indeed trick or treat. Some teams got the treat while others got the trick. The college football playoffs begins to heat up. Let’s begin.

With all due respect to Jimmy Fallon and his Friday night Thank You Notes –

The Thank You Note Awards go to:

  • Thank you, Texas, for beating Baylor 34 to 35 to knock the Bears out of The AP Top Ten, the possibility of a Baylor/Texas A&M Bowl game, and playoff possibilities. Hook ‘Em Hippies! To you Baylor, Aggies truly understand your feelings watching the Horn-kicked football split the uprights during the last seconds.
  • Thank you, Auburn, for beating the stuffing out of Ole Miss and giving the Rebels a second SEC West loss and making the Texas A&M/Ole Miss game exciting.
  • Thank you Wyoming, for beating Boise State 30 to 28 ensuring we will not have to look at the seizure blue field of Boise State on TV.
  • Thank you Tortilla Tech for beating TCU 27 to 24 in double OT. Because it is Halloween, Tortilla Tech is awarded The One-Eyed; one-horned flying purple people eater award for sending the Frogs out of contention.Tech (800x600)
  • Thank you Oklahoma State for beating West Virginia 37 to 20 and keeping a shred of dignity and possibility of winning the Small 12 Conference.IMG_2135 (800x600)

Next we have the Slip and Slide Away Awards. This award is presented to teams who had victory escape from them in the closing moments of the game. In addition all of these teams receive a Poopy Undies Award. Moving down field the Slip and Slide Away and Poopy Undies Awards are presented to:

  • Michigan 32 Michigan State 23
  • Louisville 32 Virginia 25
  • Ohio State 24 Northwestern 20
  • Washington 34 Utah 24
  • Wisconsin 23 Nebraska 17
  • Clemson 37 Florida State 34

In the SEC Alabama beat Bye Week University and LSU was victorious over Bye University @ Baton Rouge. Wonder what will happen this Saturday.

The final award today goes to The Best Football Team in the state of Texas – The Fighting Texas Aggies! The Aggies of Texas A&M beat the Aggies of New Mexico State 52 to 10 causing national sports announcers to say things like:

“Texas A&M is a bona fide National Playoff Contender.”

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It is Halloween and statements like that scare me to pieces. Happy Halloween.

Gig ‘Em Aggies and BTHO Mississippi State.

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