Tag Archives: The University of Texas

Monday, September 17, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 17, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Review: I write about the teams I like and teams that play teams I like.

So On Wisconsin to accept your Poopy Undies Award for losing to BYU 21-24.

The Wisconsin kicker who missed the game tying field goal to go to overtime receives The Hooked Left Award. This comes with a Bless Your Heart Certificate.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Tigers of LSU and their fans. Nevertheless, a win over Auburn is worth it.

The Best Kick of the Day goes to the LSU kicker for kicking the game winning field goal with two seconds on the clock. LSU 22-Auburn 21.

It was not close enough for Poopy Undies but I am awarding the Grab Your Beads Award to Notre Dame for allowing Vanderbilt to come close. ND – 22 Vandy 17.

The One Kick Off Wonder Award goes to Ole Miss for their one and only score against Alabama. Tide 62 – Ole Miss 7. Rumors abound that Coach Saban put in the women’s soccer team; the tuba section of the band and two cheerleaders in the fourth quarter.

Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi State all share the We Scored Lots of Points and Win Big Award.

Baylor lost to Duke in what was not even close in The Baptists and Blue Devil Bowl. BU 27 Duke 40. I supposed the Blue Devil thing extends beyond Wake Forest. (See last Friday) It will be ok; Baylor, Kansas is next weekend. What? Kansas scored 55 points against Rutgers? I don’t know if Kansas scored 55 points last season in four games. Rock Chalk Jayhawk could cause some problems in Waco land.

Congrats to THE University of Texas for their win over USC 37 -14. However, I award the Horns The Ugly Uniform Award. Tradition is one thing, but uniforms that look like 1956 are another. They just look old.

Ohio State achieved The Revenge on The Little Sisters of the Poor Award by a 40 to 28 win over TCU. Watch out Texas the Frogs will be spitting mad next weekend. And their uniforms are prettier.

The Best Play of Any Football Game of the Weekend Award goes to University of North Texas for the fake fair catch and then touchdown run. Even if you have seen it, it is still fun to watch. The School Yard Play Award to UNT!

That means Arkansas gets The Our Face is as Red as Our Uniforms Award. Meanwhile the Eagles turned the Arkansas Hogs into a pig sty with a 44 to 17 win.

https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2018/9/16/17864636/north-texas-fake-fair-catch-punt-return-td

The Throw Back to Last Year Award goes to the Texas Aggies. You looked like last year’s Aggies. This will not play well in Tuscaloosa next weekend. However, let us not forget the Aggies had FOUR touchdowns recalled. The score ended 48 to 10 over University Louisiana Monroe.

My last award of the day goes to the two mouths talking in the SEC announcer booth for the Aggies and Monroe game. Quite simply – YOU BOTH SUCK! You are supposed to call the football game. Instead you spent the entire fourth quarter talking:

  • Over the referee’s calls
  • While players are injured on the field
  • About personal stories of people and things nobody knows or cares about
  • Your impressions of all the Aggie and Warhawk football players you met during the week

With each play, instead of calling the play, you both gave your biased analysis of how that play or that player will do against Alabama next week. Granted, I do not know Coach Nick Saban. But here’s what I’m thinking. If Coach Saban wanted or needed your opinions, he would have already asked you and you would not be sitting in an announcing both doing a crappy job.

Monday, September 10, 2018 – Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 10, 2018 – Monday After College Football Awards

Goodness gracious, great balls of football. As I mentioned last Friday the only game of significance was in Kyle Field between Clemson and Texas A&M. It was worth waiting for all day.

Before we get to that game there are a few other schools to receive awards. May I have the envelopes, please?

The Where’s the Defense Award goes to all of the schools that beat their opponent by 40 points or more. That was pretty much everybody of interest.

The Finally Award goes to Kentucky for finally beating Florida 27 to 16. Of course, I like any team that beats Florida.

The You Have to Play Four Quarters Award goes to THE University of Texas for allowing Tulsa to stay in the game. Yes, The Horns are back – back to just like last year and the year before that and … Texas 28 Tulsa 21. Pre Snarky Friday – Memories will not suffice for USC next Saturday.

The You Can’t Go Home Again Award goes to Coach Kevin Sumlin and the Arizona Wildcats. University of Houston 45 Arizona 18.

The most awards goes to the teams and coaches in the best game of the week.

The Poopy Undies and Where’s the Defibulator Awards goes to the Clemson Tigers and the Texas Aggies. These awards are presented to both teams for scaring the fan bases and creating needs for CPR.

The Decibel Doubting Dabo Award goes to Clemson coach, Dabo Swinny for doubting the decibel level of The 12th Man in Kyle Field would make a difference.

The Exploding Head Coach Award goes to Jimbo Fisher for screaming at the officiating crew from the Stevie Wonder School for Referring Controversy. Yes, there were bad calls on both teams, but the two worst (no flag on Clemson pass interference and then the turnover costing pylon call) were difference makers.

The Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile or Your Father’s Aggies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies. Time definitely ran out before victory could be achieved.

The Danger, Danger, Will Robinson Award goes to the rest of the SEC from The Fighting Texas Aggies.

Happy Monday!

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Happy Snarky Football Friday. Last night we had the opportunity to see two schools’ fund raisers to fund their entire athletic department. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State beat Missouri State 58-17. That Mullet is looking good, Mike.

Kyle Field 8.30.18 Photo by KB

Of course my eyes were glued to the Texas Aggies versus Northwestern State. I told you, Demons, that Kyle Field was loud. Three false starts in a row on the first series. Twelfth Man.

Of course we all held our breath when Northwestern scored in the Fourth Quarter. So what if the Aggies were ahead 50+ to zero. Final score Aggies 59 and Northwestern 7 plus a large percentage the gate receipts like Missouri State gets.

In the horrible 11:00 AM spot on Saturday we have following games with teams who must have done something back to get stuck here.

In the O-State battle we find Ohio State and Oregon State on ABC. The Beavers and Suspension.

Also at the non-football game time of 11 am we find THE University of Texas and Maryland on FS 1. Was it really necessary to throw Texas coach, Tom Herman, under that bus because he went to a strip club with the domestic abuser? What are you trying to do? Go dot your “I” with a tuba, Ohio State.

Hotty Totty, God Almighty! On ESPN we have the Rebels of Old Miss and the Raiders of Texas Tech. I do not think you are allowed to throw tortillas at NRG Stadium in Houston or write graffiti on the buses, Tech.

The Sooners of Oklahoma and QB Kyler Murray take on FAU (whoever that is and I’m too lazy to look it up) on FOX. I hope Murray has gained some weight. When he played for Texas A&M, he looked like he was one tackle away from a body cast.

Clemson and Furman kickoff at 11:20 on ACC Network. Come on Furman Paladins. Hope Clemson is looking ahead to next week.

The dogs are let out at 2:30 when the Washington Huskies meet the Auburn Tigers. This could be big for both the PAC 12 and the SEC conferences. It’s on ABC.

Opposite on CBS we find the Georgia Bulldogs playing the Austin Peay Governors. UGA going to peay all over the Governors.

Speaking of bulldogs. At 6:30 on ESPNU it’s the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin and the Mississippi State Bulldogs. I must root for SFA since I have papers from there. However, I fear that Bullie will pee on the pines before the Jacks can give them the Ax.

In the big game, the Tide comes rolling in as Alabama and Louisville kickoff at 7:00 on ABC. In a Snark closing, I would like to say the following to all of the sports mouths. Nick Saban will decide who starts at quarterback for Alabama. All of you mouths are just speculating. I’m sure if Coach Saban needs your input he will call you. Roll Tide.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018 – Star Trek and the CWS From The Bridge

Tuesday, June 12, 2018 – Star Trek and the CWS From The Bridge

Captain’s Log – Star Date – 06.12.2018 – From the bridge of the USS My House

It arrived this morning! A piece of furniture that can charge my cell phone, tablet and laptop – all at the same time. Can you believe – furniture that plugs into the wall. It has a wireless switch over in the event the electricity goes out.

Please know that between this high tech love seat and my new high tech bed that I may never leave my house again. Also because after purchasing these two items I have no funds to go anywhere.

This weekend, from one of these vantage points, I will watch the College World Series – also known as The SEC Conference versus the Big 12 Conference with a few other schools thrown in to round out the bracket.

So who will I root, root, root for this weekend from reclines of the techno furniture? This is the final series I would like to see. THE University of Texas versus Mississippi State! If the Texas Aggies are not playing, then I’m going with the other SEC team of maroon and white and with a dog mascot. GO STATE!

Friday, January 26, 2018 – From the Ferrell Center on the Baylor Campus

Friday, January 26, 2018 – From the Ferrell Center on the Baylor Campus

If you liked yesterday photographs, I hope you enjoy these. Two great teams.

Baylor won. Not a good night for the Longhorns. We shall see what happens in Austin.

University of Texas Coach, Karen Aston and Point Guard Brook McCarty – photo by me. 2018

Calling the game – Rebecca Lobo and Kara Lawson – photo by me 2018

Sports Siren – Holly Rowe – photo by me 2018

Sorry I left you out Adam. Adam Amin – Lobo, Lawson and Amin – three of the best announcers in womens’ basketball.

Baylor Women’s Basketball Coach – Kim Mulkey – photo by me – 2018

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Thirty days hath September and there were some games to remember and many to forget… But first.

The NFL debacle – IMHO – This should never have been an issue. The intrusion of the government into the corporate arena sets a dangerous precedent. Here’s what I’m thinking – the American citizens in Puerto Rico would die to have a cold drink of fresh water and electricity to even watch TV. Wait, the citizens just might die while waiting. So why?

Speaking of why? Why is THE University of Texas playing on a Thursday? Better yet, why is THE University even playing Iowa State? Even better, why is Iowa State even in the Big 12 Conference?

BEVO – Photo by Jill.

But BEVO’s Boys withstood the Cyclones 17-7. Please know that Iowa State is in the running for Ugly Uniform Award. The mascot is a weather pattern.

Tonight we have Miami and Duke on ESPN at 6:00 and USC and Washington State following. It is always fun to watch a Mike Leach team.

The Saturday Wake-up Call Games at 11:00 are:

New Mexico State and Arkansas on SECN – more Aggies for the Baconators. Did you know the New Mexico State mascot is named Pistol Pete?

  • Vanderbilt and Florida on ESPN – Did you know the ONLY altruistic endeavor by Commodore Vanderbilt was the establishment of Vanderbilt University?
  • Northwestern and Wisconsin on ABC. Yawn.

In the 2:30 time slot we find:

  • Baylor at Kansas State @ 2:30 on ESPN 2. This depends on which Bears show up in Manhattan. Could be interesting if the ones from last week take the field.
  • Georgia and Tennessee on CBS – Dogs again. UGA and Smokey. I don’t know if “Rocky Top will always be…”

Why? Why are the best games in the evening?

If any two teams should have a weather pattern as their mascot it should be Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. in Lubbock at 7:00 on Fox. Tortillas blowing in the wind.

Love my TT pic. Love you Little Sister. AXOs.

If Oklahoma State and New Mexico State should meet in a game, would it be Dueling Pistol Petes?

In the battle between Mississippi and Alabama ESPN will showcase:

  • Mississippi State and Auburn at 5:00. To the Bulldogs – you need a Big Solid Defense. To Auburn: Roll Tide.
  • Ole Miss and Alabama at 8:00 ESPN at Tuscaloosa – Hotty Toddy, but Roll Tide. Dear Coach Saban, Do not underestimate your opponent. The Rebels have nothing to play for except pride.

Sandwiched between the Battle of Mississippi and Alabama we find Troy University at Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge to meet LSU at 6:00 in the last non-conference primer for LSU. Here is a primer on Troy: The Troy Trojans mascot is named T-Roy. He is one of those dressed up mascots. Troy University’s athletics nickname was the Red Wave until the early 1970s when the student body voted to change the name to Trojans. I am not going to ask why they changed to that. One can only hope the students and the state of Alabama were aware that Trojan refers to a warrior and not a birth control device.

The game of the weekend is the Texas A&M Aggies versus the South Carolina Gamecocks on the SECN at 6:30.That means crappy announcers live from Kyle Field. Things to watch for overall: Crappy announcers misprouncing small Texas towns, talking way too much and saying nothing. For the Gamecocks watch for Uncle Will Muschamp exploding at referees and players. For the Aggies watch for the explosive Captain Christian Kirk.

Other burning questions you must have are:

What is the mascot of South Carolina?

Cocky (mascot) Cocky is the costumed mascot of the University of South Carolina athletics teams. He represents a cartoon version of a gamecock (a fighting rooster).

Why is South Carolina’s mascot a Gamecock?

The University of South Carolina’s varsity sports teams are known as the “Gamecocks”. This unique moniker is held in honor of Thomas Sumter, a Revolutionary War hero from South Carolina who was nicknamed the “Carolina Gamecock” after British General Banastre Tarleton said Sumter “fought like a gamecock.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocky_(mascot)

What is the mascot of Texas A&M?

The mascot of Texas A&M University is Reveille. She is a beautiful and very real Collie and the First Lady of Aggieland. She is prettiest mascot in her category in the NCAA mascot contest.

Source: NCAA and every Texas Aggie on the planet.

Native Texan Wall: Texas Monthly Cover signed “To Delia; Ann Richards.” FYI – I also have George W’s signature signed “To Delia Best Wishes George W. Bush.

Since we started the day with politics, let us end it with politics. When former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, was campaigning for her first term, she and her staff were flying to The Valley on a campaign trip. One of her staff members asked: “Miss Richards, the people will want to know where you stand on cock fighting.” Miss Richards replied “To be honest, I never met one that I wanted to fight with.”

BTHO South Carolina.

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

This weekend’s games were why we love college football.

Let’s begin with the scores. All the Bigs won big by big scores. Alabama OU, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Clemson.

The When Is It Basketball Season? Award goes to Baylor for their loss to Duke 20 to 34. There is always Kansas, Baylor.

The ULaLa Second Half Elixir Award, produced by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and The Fighting Aggie Band goes to the Texas Aggies.

The announcers said “Perhaps the Aggie Band will help the Aggies in the second half.” Photo by KB.

Not certain if this is Kyle Field at 11:00 kickoff, but it looks pretty full to me. Photo by KB.

I hope you ordered a case of the Elixir for next week’s game. Now that you have finished playing the Three Sisters of the Poor, next week it is time to bring home the bacon.

 

Photo by me. Gator by Prejeans.

The 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to both UT schools. First to the University of Tennessee. Hail Mary, Full of Gatorade, as Florida wins with a Hail Mary pass as time runs out to defeat the Vols. I guess Gators can reach Rocky Top.

The second 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to THE University of Texas as USC scores with seconds left in the first half.

In addition, THE University of Texas receives a Poopy Undies Award and a new award entitled Pop a Vein Award as their fans watched the entire game ultimately loosing as the field goal split the uprights in the second overtime giving USC the win 24 -27. Trust me, Horns, the Aggies know the feeling of seeing the ball go through the goal post as time expires. At least it wasn’t in your stadium and on Thanksgiving.

The Herding Cats Cowbell Award goes to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State. For Real! These dogs put an ass kicking on LSU 27 to 7.

As mentioned in previous posts, this year there is The Big Solid Award. This award is given to defensive units and individuals in the defense and there are several this week. Let’s begin with The Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State and award a Big Solid Award to the Mississippi State Defense. It is not easy to herd cats.

Bully! I could have been a contender. I am prettier than Smokey and UGA. When is our play day, Miss Reveille? Photo my me from the TV.

A second Big Solid Award goes to the Defense of THE University of Texas. I am not sure the Horns are back, but the defense was impressive. Let us see what happens in Dallas in October.

Now to the individual Big Solid Awards.

To #4 Deshon Elliot, of THE University, I am awarding the Franco Harris Immaculate Reception Award and a Big Solid Award for 2.5 interceptions. Yes, it was almost three interceptions so I am giving half credit for the almost third one.

To Texas Aggie # 23 Armani Watts – a Big Solid Award for two interceptions. We are going to need many more of those.

And last, the Big Super Solid Award goes to #8, Dorion O’Daniel of Clemson for his interception of a Heisman Winning Quarterback, (Lamar Jackson) and returning it for a touchdown. Pure Big Solid. Perhaps he will share the video when the Bulldogs take on the Tide. Factoid: Joe Namath was eleventh in the balloting for the 1964 Heisman Trophy, which was won by quarterback John Huarte of Notre Dame. John Who?

Honeyboy! Look who just won the American League West! The Houston Astros! This might be the year! Go Astros.

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

This weekend’s games were why we love college football.

Let’s begin with the scores. All the Bigs won big by big scores. Alabama OU, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Clemson.

The When Is It Basketball Season? Award goes to Baylor for their loss to Duke 20 to 34. There is always Kansas, Baylor.

The ULaLa Second Half Elixir Award, produced by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and The Fighting Aggie Band goes to the Texas Aggies.

The announcers said “Perhaps the Aggie Band will help the Aggies in the second half.” Photo by KB.

Not certain if this is Kyle Field at 11:00 kickoff, but it looks pretty full to me. Photo by KB.

I hope you ordered a case of the Elixir for next week’s game. Now that you have finished playing the Three Sisters of the Poor, next week it is time to bring home the bacon.

 

Photo by me. Gator by Prejeans.

The 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to both UT schools. First to the University of Tennessee. Hail Mary, Full of Gatorade, as Florida wins with a Hail Mary pass as time runs out to defeat the Vols. I guess Gators can reach Rocky Top.

The second 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to THE University of Texas as USC scores with seconds left in the first half.

In addition, THE University of Texas receives a Poopy Undies Award and a new award entitled Pop a Vein Award as their fans watched the entire game ultimately loosing as the field goal split the uprights in the second overtime giving USC the win 24 -27. Trust me, Horns, the Aggies know the feeling of seeing the ball go through the goal post as time expires. At least it wasn’t in your stadium and on Thanksgiving.

The Herding Cats Cowbell Award goes to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State. For Real! These dogs put an ass kicking on LSU 27 to 7.

As mentioned in previous posts, this year there is The Big Solid Award. This award is given to defensive units and individuals in the defense and there are several this week. Let’s begin with The Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State and award a Big Solid Award to the Mississippi State Defense. It is not easy to herd cats.

Bully! I could have been a contender. I am prettier than Smokey and UGA. When is our play day, Miss Reveille? Photo my me from the TV.

A second Big Solid Award goes to the Defense of THE University of Texas. I am not sure the Horns are back, but the defense was impressive. Let us see what happens in Dallas in October.

Now to the individual Big Solid Awards.

To #4 Deshon Elliot, of THE University, I am awarding the Franco Harris Immaculate Reception Award and a Big Solid Award for 2.5 interceptions. Yes, it was almost three interceptions so I am giving half credit for the almost third one.

To Texas Aggie # 23 Armani Watts – a Big Solid Award for two interceptions. We are going to need many more of those.

And last, the Big Super Solid Award goes to #8, Dorion O’Daniel of Clemson for his interception of a Heisman Winning Quarterback, (Lamar Jackson) and returning it for a touchdown. Pure Big Solid. Perhaps he will share the video when the Bulldogs take on the Tide. Factoid: Joe Namath was eleventh in the balloting for the 1964 Heisman Trophy, which was won by quarterback John Huarte of Notre Dame. John Who?

Honeyboy! Look who just won the American League West! The Houston Astros! This might be the year! Go Astros.

Friday, September 15, 2017 – Dog Gone It! Best Dog in Show!

Friday, September 15, 2017 – Dog Gone It! Best Dog in Show!

Snarky Friday before College Football is short today due to a busy day for The Snark and many lackluster football teams and games scheduled for Saturday. Of course there are exceptions.

At 11:00 on ESPN we find #9 Oklahoma State versus Pitt. Yes, 11:00 o’clock games are the Pitts.

On CBS @ 2:30 in a huge SEC match up, for the bottom of the Top 25 but a seat at # 1 in the SEC, we have #23 Tennessee and # 24 Florida. I suggest to Tennessee not to Volunteer to put your hand in the Gator’s mouth.

However, Gators do not habitat mountainous areas. “Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top Down in the Tennessee hills…”

Thank you Algers, for being in Tennessee the day it after Coach Summitt’s announcement and buying me this shirt. Please remember the cause behind it

At 6:00 in another SEC match up it will be raining cats and dogs in Starkville, MS, when # 12 LSU meets Mississippi State. Go Big Solid! But Geaux Tigers. Watch on ESPN.

On FOX at 7:30 THE University of Texas returns to Los Angles to play USC. Didn’t the Horns play that team a long time ago? Probably a very long time ago for Horns Fans. Perhaps the BEVO Trojan Horse will have the Alabama Team inside. Watch Bama play Colorado State at 6:00 on ESPN2. Roll Tide. Watch out for Rocky Mountain Highs in Colorado. I am referring to the altitude of course.

Back to the morning – kicking off to a full stadium in Kyle Field, the Rajun Cajuns from UL Layfayette bring their mascot, Cayenne the Pepper, and the rest of the team to meet the Texas Aggies. Let’s see Aggies if you get the adjective “Fighting” back next week.

BTHO Rajun Cajuns!

Here’s the Big Dogs, the Under Dogs and the Best Dog in Show.  Check out the video for the history of the four runners up and the winner – Lady Reveille. WHOOP!

http://www.ncaa.com/video/football/2017-09-13/high-five-college-football-best-dog-mascots-reveille-uga-jonathan

Monday, September 04, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards.

Monday, September 04, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards.

Let’s begin. Every NCAA Division I team receives a Poopy Undies Award. It was definitely a Jalapeno by Morning for many.

As predicted the Ugliest Uniform goes to Maryland. Argyle patterns only look good on socks, sweaters and court jesters.

The Charlie Brown Award for Worse Kick goes to the punter of Wyoming for missing the entire ball.

The Hangover Award goes to the Texas Longhorns, the Baylor Bears and the Texas Aggies. Like the movie, we all woke up and wondered “what the hell happened last night?”

All three schools are also recipients of The Hoover Award because you sucked! Throw in the Big Disappointment Award.

It is a tie for The Most Inauspicious Coaching Debut – Texas’ Tom Herman and Baylor’s Matt Rhule. I somehow doubt the alumni from each school were comforted by the announcers of both games saying “this is a good teaching moment for …” for Herman and Rhule. I am pretty sure they were expecting winning moments rather than teaching moments. I think teaching moments are called practice.

I am awarding the UCLA quarterback, Josh Rosen, The Timex Award. He took a licking, but kept on ticking.

The Clock is Ticking Award goes to Texas A&M Head Coach, Kevin Sumlin.

The Aloe Award goes to the entire Texas A&M Coaching Staff and especially the Defense. You got burned!

And the Still Number One Award goes to Alabama. Roll Tide! To Nick Saban: Do you have any assistants who want to move up to a head coaching position? I imagine there will be an opening after the Tide visits College Station if not sooner. I hear Coach Sumlin’s house has a pool.

I am giving up football. I am going to follow curling and synchronized swimming instead.