Tag Archives: The University of Texas

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

Posted on November 13, 2021 | 1 comment

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

We are getting closer to seeing which teams will go bowling and which teams will be in the weight room getting ready for next season. As usual I only snark on teams that I like and teams that play teams that I like. And recall, that I am an equal opportunity Snark. I only like a few teams this week.

In the unholy hour for football at 11:00 AM we find the following:

Oklahoma at Baylor on Fox. The Bears better be a praying for a Miracle on the Brazos. It has happened before. However, you might want to pray that the Boomer Sooner Schooner School all test positive for Covid. Sic ‘Em Bears!

New Mexico State at Alabama on the SECN. Whaaat? Why is your cupcake game against New Mexico State? Granted it is The Land of Enchantment, but there ain’t nothing going to be enchanting in Tuscaloosa. Roll Tide!

Michigan at Penn State on ABC. Michigan goes to Happy Town or Happy Time, or wherever Penn State is located. I hope the Nittany Lions are indeed Happy in Happy at the end of the game.

Mississippi State at Auburn on ESPN. To State Fans: Just in case you missed it last week, Auburn lost, and they are going to be pissed when they take the field. Just saying.

We have two goodies at 2:30. Set phasers on Upset.

Georgia at Tennessee at 2:30 CBS .

Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top
Down in the Tennessee hills
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top
Ain’t no telephone bills

Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol’ Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee
Rocky Top, Tennessee

I would wear those ugly orange and white strip overalls if Tennessee could upset Georgia and throw the entire playoff system into chaos. May the ghost of Peyton Manning haunt the field.

Purdue at Ohio State at 2:30 ABC. Can the Boilermakers do it for a fourth time? May the ghost of Drew Brees haunt the field and dot the I in the OHIO band.

In the evening your choices are:

Arkansas at LSU at 6:30 on SECN. This could be a good one. Both teams have much to prove, and LSU is blazing trying to make Coach O’s last games wins.

And last and certainly least, we have Rock Chalk Jayhawk Kansas at Texas University at 6:30 on ESPNU. The Horns are not getting a great deal of video footage for the Longhorn Network because you are not winning. This is your chance. It may be your only chance to finish with a win.

Of course the game of the week that has repercussions up and down the Top 25 is

Texas A&M at Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN.

As previously, we must know things about the opponent. Read on for the history.

When it chartered the University of Mississippi on February 24, 1844, the Mississippi Legislature laid the foundation for public higher education in the state. The legislature is still laying the foundation for any type of education in the state.

The University was used as a Confederate hospital during the American Civil War. General Ulysses S. Grant’s army almost burned it down.

The University of Mississippi has gone through several mascots as the times changed. For years, the mascot was Colonel Reb, a plantation looking owner carrying a cane.

I would explain more but I want to avoid being accused of teaching Critical Race Theory.

But in 2003 (They kept the plantation guy until 2003???) the student body voted to change the mascot. It was initially a black bear called Rebel Bear, but the bear did not last long because it had no meaningful association with the state or the University. No bears in Mississippi. So, Ole Miss adopted the mascot, Tony the Landshark because it has a meaningful association because there are so many landsharks in the state. Actually, the Ole Miss defense came up with the name.

There was a race riot on the Ole Miss campus in 1962 when James Meredith, was the first black man to enroll. Again, I wish I could give you more history, but Critical Race Theory.

The university’s byname “Ole Miss” dates to 1897, when it was the winning entry of a contest held to solicit suggestions for a yearbook title. The term “Ole Miss” originated as a title domestic slaves used to distinguish the mistress of the plantation from the “young misses”. Nothing like having the name of the university continuing antebellum thoughts. This might be CRT too.

If you can change the mascots, why not change the name. I submit the following as the new name for the University of Mississippi. The University of Manning. You could have the Archie School, the Eli School and even the Cooper School. Think about it.

So Hotty Toddy to Ole Miss, but the Texas Aggies are coming. To Aggie QB Calzada. DO NOT SLIDE HEAD FIRST! But I’m sure Jimbo has gently said something similar.

Kiffer? Do you ever modify your facial expression? Or is the look of being lost or stoned just a permanent expression? You are going to need lots of popcorn, this week, Kiffy!

But be careful, Aggies. Do not open the door if you hear from the other side “Candygram.” It’s a Landshark!!

BTHO Ole Miss

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Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 8, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Today the Week Ten Awards Show consists of songs dedicated to each team.

The only big award today is The Ugly Uniform Award, and it goes to TCU. Those uniforms look like SMU, Ole Miss and Cincinnati uniforms were washed together in magic washing powders and all the colors mixed together. Was it supposed to be mourning garb for Patterson’s leaving?

Today everyone receives a song to make their playlist. I might have changed a few lyrics.

For the upsets, each of these teams receive Patsy Cline’s version of

Faded Love

Wake Forest 55 – UNC 58

Mississippi State 28 Arkansas 31

But onward thru the fog…

Baylor 28 and TCU 30

Baylor song – U2 – Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

TCU song – Elton John – Good bye Yellow Brick Road

Liberty 14 and Ole Miss 27  

Liberty – if you only play for what you need, you needed more.

Liberty Song – To Liberty and Coach Hugh Freeze, just Let It Go since you were Frozen.

Ole Miss – Popcorn Dance by Hot Butter. It’s like an ancient episode of Think You Can Dance. I think this could be the new Ole Miss song.

Purdue 40 and Michigan State 29

Purdue song – Lionel Richie – Once Twice, Three Times an Upset

Michigan State song – The Beatles – Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Texas 7 at Iowa State 30

Iowa State song – Tornado by Little Big Town

Texas song – The Eagles – Desperado

Alabama 20 at LSU 14  

Alabama song – Jack Scott – What In The World’s Come Over You?

LSU song – Police – Every breath you take; every move you make I’ll be watching you. Nothing can make a successful season for LSU more than an upset.

Texas A&M 20 and Auburn

A&M wins the Louise and George Jefferson Award  

Aggie song – cause ‘we moving on up in the West Side – we finally got a piece of the pie!

Additional songs include Scoop there is it by Tag Team and We Put a Nix on You by Creedence Clearwater Revival for the Aggie Defense.

Auburn song – The Happenings – See You in September – Bye-bye, so long, farewell; Bye-bye, so long; See you, in the Iron Bowl; see you, when the season’s through.

BTHO Ole Miss!The Aggies are coming to Oxford with popcorn and ready to kick butt, and we are all out of popcorn! And we ain’t dancing to no popcorn dance either. WHOOP!

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Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Posted on November 1, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Happy Post Halloween. There were tricks and treats this weekend.

First a treat – Mississippi State 31-Kentucky 17. Mike the Pirate does it again and wins the ARRR Talk Like a Pirate Award!

Now a trick – SMU 37- University of Houston 44. The University of Houston wins The Run It Back Award and Run Forrest Run Award for taking the football after the kickoff by SMU that tied the game and running from his end zone 100 yards to win the game with 17 seconds left. This left the poor, little rich kids stunned. So Ponies, you receive the Stun Gun Award.

Another treat – Auburn 31 – Ole Miss 20. Lane the Kiffer wins The Analytics Award for going for on Fourth Down three times and being stopped three times for no points on the scoreboard. Both teams share The Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Here’s a list of treats.

Georgia 34 -Florida 7 – The Gators win Once Their Was a Time We Were Good Award. Coach Mullins wins the Better Call the Fire Department Award because your seat is getting hot. To the Dawgs, you win the Sweet Georgia Brown Award because – No gal made has a got a shade on sweet Georgia Brown. No team can throw shade to Georgia. But the Tide could come Rolling in.

Cincinnati 31 – Tulane 12. The Bearkats win the Still Undefeated, but No Style Points Award. And your schedule is weak.

Michigan 33 – Michigan State 37 – Sparky wins The Big Chill Award. Michigan also wins a Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Texas Tech 21 – Oklahoma University 52. OU wins the Hey Look Us Over, We Finally Got It Together Award. Tortilla Tech wins the Help Wanted Award.

Also winning the Help Wanted Award is TCU. The Frogs lose to Kansas State 31 to 12 and Head Coach, Gary Patterson, throws in the towel.

Iowa State 31 – West Virginia 38 – The Mountaineers win the Burn the Couches Award. Of course, anytime WVa wins the team receives The John Denver Award for Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

But the best treat of the Halloween weekend was:

Baylor 31 and THE University of Texas 24  – Baylor not only wins the game, but also wins The Costume Award – Baptist Nuns.

To the University of Texas (No longer THE University) – Bevo wins The Tent Award. Like a tent, Horns were light weight, foldable and collapsible.

The University of Texas also receives The Rolling Stone Award for “how does it feel to be on your own, like a complete unknown?”

Do not get discouraged, Horns. There are three games left and you only have to win two of them to become bowl eligible and one of the teams is Kansas. That is the good news. The bad news is the other teams are Iowa State and West Virginia.

Ten years ago, in September of 2011 the Regents of Texas A&M University voted to leave the Big 12 Football Conference and move to the Southeastern Conference. How has that move worked out? See for yourself.

Welcome to the SEC, Texas. Perhaps it is not too late to rethink the move.

BTHO AUBURN!

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Monday, October 12, 2020 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 12, 2020 | 1 comment

Monday, October 12, 2020 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire. From the college weekend football games that Defense forgot. It was upsets and near upsets.

First of all, what is with Ohio State, Penn State and Oregon being in the AP Top 10? You have not even played a down, let alone a game. You think you can run the 100-yard dash by starting at the 50-yard line? Big Assterick by your name.

Let’s begin with our first award, by giving The Decibel Level and Deception Award to Florida Head Coach Dan Mullins for complaining of the loud crowd noise and crowd size in Kyle Field. You think The 12th Man is loud when the stadium is as ESPN reported 27,709 in attendance? That is not even Yell Practice attendance preCOVID. Rather use the crowd noise as your excuse, perhaps you should examine your defense.

Florida QB Kyle Trask receives the trophy with a long name for If You Are Named After Kyle Field, You Don’t Win In It Unless You Wear Maroon.

To the Florida team I am awarding The Beer Trophy because it was Spiller Time in Aggieland.  Texas A&M 41 Florida 38.

LSU receives the Hurricane Delta Award for moving their game from the 2:30 afternoon slot in Baton Rouge to 11:00 in the morning in Missouri. The Tigers get A Great Goal Line Stand Award for holding on in the final seconds. That would be the Missouri Tigers. Missouri 45 and LSU 41.

Kentucky and Mississippi State – The Bulldogs receive the Yogi Berra Award for Deja Vue All Over Again. Mike, I told you the SEC is smarter, and the SEC knows your one play. Yes, even Kentucky. I am only an old while lady who has never coached, but I am thinking blaming your players for the loss is not positive.

The Ugly Uniform Award this week goes to TCU. Just because your mascot, a Horned Frog, is able to spurt blood from its eyes, it does not mean you should wear red on your uniform. Your colors are purple and white. I looked it up on your page. Besides, those uniforms looked as thought you borrowed them from SMU. K-State 21 and TCU 14. K-State is 3-0 in the Big 12.

The Heartbreak Hotel and Threaded Incline Plane Awards go to the Arkansas Razorbacks. Razorbacks 28 Auburn 30. It was a fumbled snap, not grounding in the final minute.

Alabama and Ole Miss – I am giving both teams the Michael Jackson Halloween Award because it was a Thriller. Both teams receive a Defense By-Pass Award because the defensive units on both teams by-passed the game allowing the offense to rake up a whopping SEC record score of 63 to 48 and 723 yards for Alabama and 647 for Ole Miss. And that was in regulation and more points and yards than some teams score in three consecutive games.

Both teams’ alum will send their Cussing Jar Money to their respective alma maters to ensure their defensive units take the bus to the next game. Any extra funds can be used for the purchase of new underwear.

Speaking of overtimes. It was THE University of Texas 45 and OU 53 in Four Overtimes. I award THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University The Ballerina Award because both of you now hold records of 2-2 as in tutu. When is the last time neither one of those schools was in the Top 25?

THE University of Texas receives the Maud Mullins Award from the poem of the same name by John Greenleaf Wittier.

“For of all sad words of tongue or pen,

The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!'”

And to TU Head Coach Tom Herman, I award a Gift Certificate to a Headhunter and Resume Service. Coach Herman? Have you thought about forming a band with a group of Hermits?

EARLY VOTING STARTS TOMORROW IN TEXAS. GET OUT AND VOTE!

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September 28, 2020 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 28, 2020 | Leave a comment

September 28, 2020 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Just like the year 2020 has been, it was a wild, crazy and unpredictable weekend in college football. Everybody receives a Poopy Undies award.  Every team receives a It Shows There Was No Spring Training Certificate.

I must first check on the health and well being of Elf and Big Solid. I am certain they fainted at the end of the Mississippi State and LSU game. Evidently, there are pirates on the bayous.

Assisting me today with trophy/award handouts is Miss Queue. She, along with her pets, Fumbles, Interceptions and Sacks were present in every game played.

The Pepto-Bismal Dismal Performance Award goes to Oklahoma. You were upset in Norman by Kansas State! Here, take the Embarrassment Award too.

The MOO Award goes to Kansas State for milking the clock to beat OU 38-35. Maybe THE University of Texas will beat Oklahoma this year.

Speaking of the Horns. When it almost looked as though it would be a weekend when both OU and TU lost, Banjo Boy and Horns were able to pull it out in OT against Texas Tech 63-56. I am awarding myself The Frog Award because I TOAD you Tech would be up for TU. They were just not up quite enough.

Speaking of orange – Ok, it is a stretch. Oklahoma State? What was with those uniforms? They looked like those tacky uniforms TU and Tennessee wear when they do all white with a few orange stripes. You receive this week’s Bad Uniforms Award. But you did score a win against West Virginia.

The Good Uniforms Award and the win goes to Baylor. The bright green and gold combo looked good. Perhaps that is why the Mad Hatter Kansas Coach was still wearing shades at 9:30 at night. We know it is not because Kansas’ football future is so bright, he has to wear shades.

To the LSU Tigers, you receive The Flat Certificate because you looked flat on the field.  And you receive the Linda Rondast Award because Mississippi State Blew By You!

The largest group of awards goes to the Mississippi State University Bulldogs – The Welcome Wagon Award goes to Mike Leach. You might just find a home in the SEC. Wait until you play Florida. There might even been pirate ships.

State receives the Best Victory of the Day! Best Upset of the Day! Best Quarterback Performance of the Day! And last, Nobody Saw That Coming Award! Great victory to start the season!

Alabama rolled over Missouri 38-19. It was 28 to 3 at half time. Let’s give Bama the Looking Good Again Award. I know it is a small award, but I am sure there will be others and more meaningful ones as the season goes on.

Meanwhile at the same time and almost the same half-time on a different channel it was 7 to 5 going into the top of the 3rd between Texas A&M and Vanderbilt. VANDERBILT! The Rice and Stanford of the SEC!  The Aggies get the Back to Practice Award and Lackluster Performance Award!

If I were to give a Head Coaches’ Exploding Head Award, I would have given it to Jimbo Fisher of Texas A&M. But since I did not actually view his head exploding, I am unable to do so.

Instead I will give him the Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women Award. This is because I imagine the half-time locker room opening comments to the two freshmen players went something like this:

“Listen, honey chile! Now what exactly were you thinking? This here is the SEC. And we don’t run the opening kick off out of the end zone. Ya hear me? In fact, no college football team runs the opening kickoff out of the end zone especially when you are ten yards deep INTO the endzone. OK Now? Are you listening?

Also, if your feet are on the 10-yard line when the other team is punting, we do not field it in the endzone giving the other team a safety!

And, if you EVER do it again, I will bench your sweet asses until there are splinters all the way up to your nasal passages.

Are we clear?”

Jimbo’s speech may have been shorter and louder and may have had some adjectives and maybe an expletive or two. So Jimbo gets the I Bet the Paint Peeled off the Locker Room Walls Half-time Speech Certificate.

But Aggies did limp to a victory 17 – 12. I wonder who they play next Saturday. Oh crap!

BTHO ALABAMA!

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Friday, September 25, 2020 – Snarky Friday in the Official COVID Asterisk College Football Season*

Posted on September 25, 2020 | 1 comment

Friday, September 25, 2020 – Snarky Friday in the Official COVID Asterisk College Football Season*

Welcome to the official COVID Asterisk College Football Season * We all know that whichever teams win whatever conferences and championships there will be an ASTERISK placed by their name. This due to the fact that players and coaches and other personnel are risking their assters by playing during a global pandemic. Some teams will play eight games; some will play nine; some will be postponed; some will be cancelled and so forth and so on. Like the virus, we just don’t know what will happen.

It is a season of reduced stadium capacities, cardboard fans, no tailgating, no bands and no cheer or yell leaders. Everybody on the sidelines will be wearing a mask. Referees will use their hand-held screeching device to signal starts and stops. This affords no spitting in the wind via blowing a whistle. With the presidential debates next week, I think the moderators should use a similar device. Maybe even a bull horn to shut the candidates up when their time expires.

Who plays whom and when?

The Breakfast Bunch of games at 11:00 AM are

  • Kansas State and Oklahoma on FOX in The Boomer Sooner Roll Over the Wildkats Bowl.
  • Florida and Ole Miss on ESPN in The Florida Scrimmage Bowl. It will be scrimmage for the Gators and not so much a game for the Rebels. Start the cocktails early in The Grove.
  • Kentucky and Auburn on the SEC Network in The Hill Billy Bowl. Enough said.

During the afternoon hours at the 2:30 time slot we find Mike Leach debuting as coach of the Mississippi State Bulldogs against the LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge. Watch for the Red Stick and Tigers to beat up Mike and the Bulldogs. Mikee, the stadium is called Death Valley for a reason and there are no pirates. GEAUX Tigers! Sorry, Elf and Big Solid.

Also at 2:30 we have THE University of Texas on the plains of Lubbock taking on Texas Tortilla Tech on FOX. Tech may not have a good season, but you can bet the Red Raiders will be up for Banjo Boy and the Longhorns. BEVO may catch a flying tortilla on his horns. 

West Virginia and Oklahoma State at 2:30 on ABC. Big time for the Cowboys and The Mountaineers. I hope the game is equally big time. Go Pokes!

The Georgia Bulldogs bring UGA, their mascot to meet Tusk the Razorback and the Hogs of Arkansas on the SEC Network – at least a virtual mascot meet. All mascots must wear masks and remain six feet apart. Lots of screaming red on the field, but the win goes to UGA big time.

It is now the evening and time for the big-time games. The evening starts with Alabama and Missouri on ESPN at 6:00. Saban’s Boys will roll the TIDE over Mizzu like a bulldozer on a black top tar road. If there were bands, the Alabama band could play the last quarter.

Baylor and Kansas on ESPNU at 6:30. PU is right. This will be a game of brightly colored team uniforms with low expectations. Come on. It’s Kansas. They play basketball.  Sic ‘Em, Bears!

My game of course will be Texas A&M and Vanderbilt on the SEC Alternate at 6:30. There will be no half-time performance by The Fighting Texas Aggie Band. In fact, the band will not even be in the stands. On Thursday evenings the band does a dress rehearsal and it is videoed. On game day, the percentage of fans allowed into Kyle Field and the cardboard fans will get to see the band on the big screen.

Friday’s Midnight Yell Practice is virtual. I am not certain how this is going to work. Am I supposed to stand in my living room, hump it and yell?

A! G! G! I! E! S! WHOOP! GIG ‘EM AGGIES! We shall see.

*****

WEAR THE MASK so this will be the only ASTERICK football season!

BTHO Vanderbilt!

*All games subject to COVID.

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Monday, September 21, 2020 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 21, 2020 | 1 comment

Monday, September 21, 2020 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Let’s start with the major college football award – The COVID Trophy. This goes to the teams who postponed, canceled and/or stayed home. This includes, Baylor, University of Houston, Charlotte, North Carolina, BYU and Army.

Other teams that we have little interest in all won big over their opponents, so I award them Wait Until You Play a Real Football Team Award. This begins next week.

Real football begins on Saturday with the six SEC schools of Alabama, Georgia, Florida, LSU, Auburn, and Texas A&M plus four other schools ranked in the top 10. Two from the Big 12 Conference and two teams from the ACC, if you count Notre Dame.

Why are former Blue Bloods like Notre Dame and THE University of Texas listed? Oh I remember, they only play teams like the Our Sisters of Perpetual Disappointment.

I see the Big 10 Conference has also decided to join the Road Trip to Whatever the Championship will look like. Nobody says snarky football better than SEC Shorts. Enjoy both.

The Road Trip

And Blue Bloods. How many days has it been TU?

Stay safe. Stay Strong. Wear a mask.

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Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

Posted on August 23, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

It is the official kickoff of Snarky Friday – my college football comments before Saturday’s big games. We must begin today as the Texas Aggies open next Thursday against Texas State University – formerly Southwest Texas State University.

Oh the joys of traffic for a week day football game. Classes are just beginning at Texas A&M, Blinn College and the school districts of the Brazos Valley. No one knows where they are going. No one knows how to drive. Tailgating on east and west campuses. RVs and tents and corn hole matches dominating the land surrounding Kyle Field. 30,000 people in town Wednesday for Midnight Yell. But I am excited and already have my maroon out shirt. Every game is a maroon out game.

In other Aggie news. The 12th Man of the Aggie football team is Braden White. He is from Florence Alabama. What do you think about that, Nick? Jimbo trying a little psych out maybe? See you October 12.

I now have access to the ACC Network because I am a loyal customer – aka subscribes to all of the other sports channels. For those only familiar with the LHN, other conferences share and fans have the benefit of seeing many more schools play many more sports.

And now to the meaningless college football ratings. I see that THE University of Texas is rated number 10 in several polls. The Horns should rip through the mediocre Big 12 Conference. We shall see if they can hold on to that ranking. September 7 and October 12 should take care of it. Prepare yourself to hear Tiger Rag and Boomer Sooner ad nausea. The road to the National Championship runs through the SEC, OU and Clemson.

I see where Baylor University and The University of Mississippi will play in Houston in 2020. Well, “Hotty Toddy, God Almighty!” Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Baylor, the largest Baptist school on the planet, with no drinking is playing Ole Miss where alcohol is consumed like water and the drinking age in Mississippi is 10?

And then Old Miss fans do the Toddy Chant.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, God Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

Nothing like cussing in your yell when Ole Miss plays Baylor. Maybe the Rebels will dance too.

I am so ready for it all. Kick-off is only days away. Must get prepared for it. Note to self – pick up Bloody Mary mix and vodka for 11:00 am games, beer for 2:30 games, and wine for 6:00 games. Yes, a case of each. That should hold me through the Aggie-Clemson game.

BTHO Texas State!

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Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Posted on July 19, 2019 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Sometime over this weekend someone will post the number of Saturdays, the actual number of days, and the hours and minutes until college football kickoff. It might be me, but it could any one of you anxiously waiting for our favorite teams to fill the weekend TV screens.

Media Days began on Monday, July 15, and marked the unofficial start of college football season. Therefore, we have the start of Unofficial Snarky Friday. Snarky Friday is where I post my snarky comments regarding college football.

Media Days is the week when representatives from the NCAA Division I football conferences congregated in front of the media. Coaches and young men appear all dressed up, speak and answer questions from various sports media outlets.

This is the time where you hear words and phrases such as:

  • One game at a time
  • Big shoes to fill at that position
  • Big number of starters returning
  • Outstanding freshman
  • Seasoned quarterback
  • Alabama keeps whining (hey I am just paraphrasing ESPN)
  • New head coach and
  • A most difficult schedule.

As you know this blog is about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. Let’s first take a look at the Big 12 – Really Only 10 – Conference. It consists of THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University, seven other schools and Kansas that prays for basketball season to arrive. The Red River Rivalry is going to be fun, fun, fun. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Jalen Hurts won the Heisman?

Now to the – It Just Means More Conference – the SEC. I conducted a comparative analysis of the Texas Aggie Football Schedule and the SEC media days. Here’s what I’m thinking:

Media Day Schools – July 15

Florida – Do Not Care

Missouri – Really Do Not Care

LSU – Happy Thanksgiving! November 30. I shall wear my 7 OT Shirt from last year’s victory.

Media Day Schools – July 16

Mississippi – October 19 – Off to Oxford.

Tennessee – Nope!

Texas A&M – Significantly biased

Georgia – Oh crap! November 23 in Athens and seven days before LSU!

Media Day Schools – Wednesday, July 17

Arkansas – OMG! Winter is coming! September 28 in Arlington with a possibility of Nick Starkle at QB!

I am not sitting next to the damn pig this year.

Alabama – OMG! Winter is coming! October 10. Twelfth Man in the Stands! And in the streets and the whole Brazos Valley.

Mississippi State – OMG! Winter is coming! And so are the cowbells. October 26.

South Carolina – OMG! Winter is coming! But the only chicken we like is the Dixie Chicken.

Media Day Schools – Thursday, July 18

Auburn – September 21 – September 21 – the first of the three A’s. (Auburn, Arkansas and Alabama)

Kentucky – Do Not Care

Vanderbilt – Do Not Care

I am not aware if football schedules are given names that parallel similar physical events. But if so, I would like to name the Texas Aggie football schedule the following:

The 2019 Texas Aggie Football Root Canal, Gynecological/Prostate Exam and Hot Water Enema Schedule

Did I mention the Aggies play Clemson on September 7?

 

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Wednesday, January 2, 2019 – And Then There Was One

Posted on January 2, 2019 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, January 2, 2019 – And Then There Was One

One college football game left. Roll Tide.

Congratulations to LSU, Oklahoma State, Ohio State, and Kentucky on their bowl wins. To any fans from Pennsylvania, your teams must win their bowl games before they are mentioned.

Congratulations to THE University of Texas for their win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl 28-21. This game was over when Bevo decided to have a pregame snack of an UGA Hot Dawg. Try that with the Miss Reveille, Bevo and you’ll be a steak.

To Georgia: What the hell? The next time you play a major bowl against a major team, may I suggest the following:

    • Bring your head to the game
    • Take your head out of your nether region
    • Use your head to play football
    • Do not underestimate a good team. Almost beating Alabama does not end the season.
    • Do not embarrass the SEC. Texas marched through you like Sherman! The tank, not the general.

To The University, again congratulations. It does indeed appear that The University (TU) is back to original form.

To the mouths talking in the booth last night and everyone else who was a booth mouth during the bowl games:

  • Call the damn football game!
  • Learn the name of the team – it is Oklahoma State or OSU – NOT OKState. You should have known that before your Twitter account exploded from the Oklahoma State fans.
  • No one cares how you played when you were playing.
  • No one cares what play you would have called.
  • No one really cares about your opinions on anything.
  • You do not need to give me the players/coaches profile from day one of their lives.
  • You do not have to fill then entire time between plays with mindless chatter.
  • I heard you the first time. And the second and probably the third time you repeated and/or rephrased what you just said.
  • Please do not refer to Sam Ehlinger as similar to Tim Tebow or anybody else. He is the pride and hope of The University of Texas and he is like Sam Ehlinger.
  • Next year go interview Bevo before the game. Maybe he will show you how the cow ate the New Year’s cabbage.

Only one more football game so it is time to move on to the bouncing round ball. Guess who has a ticket tomorrow night for Baylor and UCONN? See you, Geno!

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