Monthly Archives: August 2017

Thursday, August 31, 207 – It’s Just a Game But

Thursday, August 31, 207 – It’s Just a Game But

COLLEGE FOOTBALL! It’s just a game, but it is such a welcome diversion to the continuing events resultant from Hurricane Harvey. Please continue thoughts and prayers as many coaches’ and players’ families throughout Texas have been impacted.

Thank you to the football teams all over the country paying tribute to Texas with the decals on their helmets and jerseys. Thank you to the colleges and universities and their organizations aiding in the relief efforts in so many ways. Let us now find some joy in football.

If you have been following HWIT, you are aware that during football season I write about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. This year I am adding two teams that I did not write about last year. One is the East Tennessee Buccaneers. My cousin, Daryl Daye, is defensive coach there. Please wish him well. For you, LSU fans this is Donnie’ son.

My LSU commemorative shirt signed by Heisman Trophy winner, Billy Cannon and his blocking back, my cousin Donnie Daye. RIP Donnie.

My new other team is the Eagles of the University of North Texas. Adopted great nephew, Andre, made the team as a walk on. So proud of you Andre. Keep up the hard work.

But tonight the big boys are under the lights. Tonight we kick off with Oklahoma State v Tulsa at 6:30 on FS1. GO POKES!

You can alternate between that game and Ohio State vs Indiana on ESPN 7:00. These two are currently on my DNC (Do Not Care) List, but if one plays a team I like, expect more comments.

Tomorrow is the first Official Snarky Friday of the season. See you then.


Wednesday, August 30, 2017 – Mouths With No Brains and Climate Change

Wednesday, August 30, 2017 – Mouths With No Brains and Climate Change

“Good Morning Houston! This is radio station KILT wishing you a great day! The sun is shining over our city.” If you grew up around Houston this was the radio greeting we woke up to every morning.

Harvey has left the building – at least the Houston area.

Please continue with thoughts and prayers as the storm made a third land fall in Louisiana. Forecasts have it moving up the Sabine River and then finally off to the northeast. Please keep the people and the petrochemical plants in that area in your thoughts and prayers.

It is heart – warming and overwhelming to see Texas and other states pulling together to offer relief and assistance. As a Native Born Texas, we cannot thank you enough.

It is heart – breaking to hear the know nothings even speak. HWIT to the Big Mouth with No Brain, Ann Coulter.

Yes, Ann. You are right as rain saying that former lesbian Houston Mayor, Annise Parker, is a more plausible reason for Hurricane Harvey than climate change. What is your rationale for the previous mayor, Bill White? He is a White man. What about current mayor, Sylvester Turner? He is a Black man. Both are about my age.

Following your logic I can only conclude that baldness (White) and being less than 6 feet tall (Turner) and aging are also more plausible reasons than climate change.

I had no idea that one’s sexual orientation, genetic dispositions causing baldness and growth were also causes of climate change. More Mouths with No Brains can thank you for adding baldness, being short and growing old to the reasons for what took place in Houston. I am certainly changing my mind about climate change. Next time you come to Texas maybe you can relax and hangout along the Gulf Coast at Dallas.

So here’s to all the Mouths with No Brains, Station HWIT dedicates America singing A Horse with No Name.

PS – I know exactly how tall Sylvester Turner is. During another lifetime, when he was in the Texas Legislature we met eye-to-eye (literally and strategically) on many issues. Once again, thank you Mayor Turner.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017 – It’s all about that Base.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017 – It’s all about that Base.

I always wanted to be a United States presidential historian like Michael Beschloss, Douglass Brinkley or Doris Kerns Goodwin. I still can. I can just run four miles down Highway 6 to College Station and get another doctorate. But as we used to say in Austin, Onward Thru the Fog.

The POTUS and First Lady visit Texas today. He has scheduled visits to Corpus Christi and Austin. As you are aware, it’s all about that Base.

If you are a T Supporter, do not read any further. You will not like it. Click the exit square now.

I wonder if the POTUS is aware of the ethnic demographics of these two Texas cities.

Hell, even George W. Bush could speak enough Spanish to address these crowds. HWIT – I wouldn’t discuss the pardoning of Arapio in either city. Unless you discuss it in Spanish of course.

I understand the POTUS will visit the Department of Public Safety Emergency management center in Austin. HWIT – Is this due to your uniform fetish or just not time to visit the Wilhelmina Delco Center that shelters fellow Texans in all emergencies? FYI – 500 sought shelter at Delco Center as of Sunday.

Here are some other questions I have. Is the POTUS going to pardon Harvey? I mean he said “there are good people on both sides,” even if one side is catastrophic.

Will the POTUS consider pardoning the Texas Rangers for bad sportsmanship? Go Astros! Can POTUS sign an Executive Order changing their name to Arlington, Rangers and remove TEXAS from their name?

Will POTUS be hawking his red USA hats for $40 or donating money to the resurrection of Houston? As I said, it’s all about that base.

From the best musical about Texas – Best Little Whorehouse in Texas – sing along. It’s really Trumpish!

Monday, August 28, 2017 – Harvey, You Monster and If You Don’t Know Texas

Monday, August 28, 2017 – Harvey, You Monster and If You Don’t Know Texas

Back story – I am a Native Texan. I was born in Houston and raised just north of the city. My family still resides in the Houston area. I now live 150 miles inland from the Gulf Coast. It has rained at my house constantly for the last 24 hours and as of daylight break, rain continues. I have witnessed Carla, Alecia, Brett, Allison, Rita, Katrina and all the other storms that slammed Texas in the past 68 years.

People unfamiliar with the state of Texas tend to say things such as “They knew the storm was coming so why didn’t they evacuate? This Here’s What I’m Thinking is for you.

Let me put it bluntly! If are not familiar with Texas or Texas geography and hurricanes, then shut up!

Houston, Texas is the fourth largest city in the United States with millions of people calling it home. This does not include the hundreds of bedroom communities that surround the city for miles. Nor does it include the fishing and vacation communities that sit directly on the coast. The territory and population of Houston proper are larger than many of America’s largest cities and smaller states.

When hurricanes hit Texas the escape routes become limited. Moving south is never an option and Harvey’s expansive bands of wind and rain caused escapes to become even more limited. To evacuate the millions along limited escape routes was not logical, as Mr. Spock would say.

Yes, Texans were well aware of the coming of the storm. But Harvey WILL NOT GO AWAY! It continues to sit over Southeast Texas and promises to do so for the remainder of the week. This is dumping rainfall measured in feet. Places that have never experienced flooding in the history of Texas are inundated. Every Houstonian is impacted. People are being rescued from the multi-million dollar homes that sit along the bayous.

So unless you have walked in our boots or waded in our waders, then please do not second guess the actions taken by Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner or Texas Governor Greg Abbott – born native Houstonians. They did and continue to do an outstanding job during this continuing crisis.

Instead of criticizing our Great State, please send dollars to the relief organizations, thank yous, appreciations and prayers to the states coming to the rescue with relief efforts and resources, the first responders on the ground, the citizens of Houston, the Texans coming with boats, and all of Texas.

Oh yes, to those not familiar with Texas, I am sorry about that fuel increase this winter and the increase in prices of beef, seafood, fruit, vegetables, cotton, and all the other items.

And to you Harvey – you need to get the Hell out of Texas. It is bad enough that you did not see the signs – Don’t Mess With Texas. You are fixin to start messing the with Texas football at all levels throughout the state.

One more thing, Harvey. Check your Texas history. We have survived way worse than you. And no way will you get us down. As we also say in Texas “…and the horse you rode in on.”

God Bless Texas!

Friday, August 25, 2017 – Snarky Friday is Hunkered Down for Harvey

Friday, August 25, 2017 – Snarky Friday is Hunkered Down for Harvey

Harvey went from a Texas size rain storm to an extremely dangerous situation and potentially catastrophic disaster in a matter of hours. This displays how volatile these storms can be. If this is your first hurricane,  pay attention and do not take the warnings lightly. Do what you are told to do. Native Texans (and those who got here as quickly as they could) who live on or near the coast, you know what to do, so do it. Hopefully, you started yesterday.

Here is what the entire Texas Gulf Coast and inland as far as Austin and San Antonio are bracing for this weekend and into next week:

  • Rainfall totals as high as 30 inches in some areas;
  • storm surges of six to twelve feet;
  • waves of over 30 feet;
  • flooding of streams and rivers;
  • tornados;
  • loss of power for days or weeks;
  • interruption of services for days or weeks and
  • damage to and loss of life and property estimated into the billions of dollars.

That is just a start of the possible scenarios. Landfall is expected tonight near Corpus Christi and Port O’Conner in the darkness. Darkness makes these storms even more frightening. In case you do not know, the Port of Corpus Christi is the largest exporter of crude oil in the world. This is not to lessen the concerns over the Houston Ship Channel and the oil and gas refineries that lie along the coast from Houston to Beaumont.

Every coastal resident has their memories of the big hurricanes that slammed into their homes, businesses and lives. When you grow up in the Houston area and the weather people make comparisons to the following storms, you know Harvey could be bad. Here are just of few of my hurricane memories.

September 11, 1961 – Carla – Houston/Galveston. Very scared. Almost the entire town of Magnolia moved into the high school because it was the only brick building in town. Unbelievable winds. It rained horizontally. Never saw anything like it before.

August 8, 1983 – Alecia – Galveston and up Interstate 45 and into East Texas. The pine trees were falling all over the place in all four directions.

June 5, 2001 – Allison – Houston. This was the storm that flooded the Texas Medical Center, The Alley Theatre and broke all the windows in the sky scrapers in downtown Houston. This is the one, RL, that all of the TIF millions of dollars’ worth of telecommunications equipment funded to the Medical Center were destroyed when their research labs flooded. I still have nightmares from the video conference we had with the people from the various hospitals. Remember when the head of one of the big hospitals said “You do not want to know what floated out of those labs and into the streets of Houston. Telecommunications equipment is the least of our concern at the moment.” I thought we were all going to faint. It still makes me feel faint.

September 24, 2005 – Rita – Texas/Louisiana border. Water. Deep water. Disaster to the max.

September 13, 2008 – Ike – Galveston. Deeper water. No power for weeks. Indescribable.

I hope you are hunkered down and prepared for Harvey. Sometimes names of hurricanes are retired and never used again. Retired storms names are dependent upon the dollar amounts of damage done. Harvey is already being discussed as a possible retired name.

Keep first responders and all of the others risking their lives to ensure our safety in your thoughts and prayers.

Take care of yourself. Take care of others.  And God Bless Texas.

Thursday, August 24, 2017 – Six Flags over Texas and Preparations for the Hurricane

Thursday, August 24, 2017 – Six Flags over Texas and Preparations for the Hurricane

This is what is wrong with education today. ICYMI The Six Flags over Texas amusement park recently replaced the six flags that flew over Texas with United States flags at the park’s entrance. As expected there were numerous thoughts on Facebook. This was my favorite:

Question: What were the 6 flags that flew over Texas?

Reply: France, Spanish, Mexico, Texas, Confederate, US and one more.

The current flag that may be flying over Texas this weekend is the one marking a hurricane. The red square one with the black square in the center. One flag means storm and two flags mean hurricane.

NOLA April 2017 Photo by me

Harvey the Hurricane is approaching the coast of Texas bringing enormous amounts of rain. An eclipse and hurricane in the same week gives me pause for concern. But I am prepared and in an effort to help you prepare for Harvey I offer the following assistance. You will need the following:

    • 2 oz light rum
    • 2 oz dark rum
    • 2 oz passion fruit
    • 1 oz orange juice
    • Juice of half a lime
    • 1 table spoon simple syrup
    • 1 tablespoon grenadine

Squeeze lime into shaker over ice, pour in the remaining ingredients, shake, strain ice and pour in big glass. Then think “What would Jimmy Buffet do?” Now break out in song and sing…

Pour me something tall and strong; make it a hurricane before I go insane; It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care It’s five o’clock somewhere.

Stay safe.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017 – Yesterday – A Day to Remember – Eclectic Tuesday or A Little Something for Everyone.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017 – Yesterday – A Day to Remember – Eclectic Tuesday or A Little Something for Everyone.

What I have been told my brain looks like.

What a day to remember. Were you able to see the eclipse? I actually went outside at 1:11 CST with my two paper plates and saw the moon partially block the sun in my little shadow. I plan to be alive in 2024 when the next solar eclipse passes over Texas.

They, whoever, “they are,” say a total eclipse brings super powers. I have not selected my super power yet because I cannot decide what I want my super power to be. That changing water into wine sounds like it would a useful skill and very popular at parties, but a cloak of invisibility has potential. Right now I will settle for a Texas Aggie quarterback with superpowers.

It was the first day back to school for Bryan ISD. Apparently all went smoothly save for the usual number of students still on the school bus at 6:00 PM with parental units in an uproar at the bus barn.

Events were going well until the POTUS spoke. I kept remembering Fish Cheer from Woodstock. No I was not there.

Come on all you big strong men, Uncle Sam needs your help again. Got himself in a terrible jam, way over yonder in Afghanistan.

Historically speaking, Afghanistan is a Black Hole in the history of the world. The geography is such that no country in history has been able to achieve a victory. To even mention Pakistan is like bringing gasoline to a bonfire – an Indian one. Good luck with this, Donald John.

I have some questions. Why was it necessary to make the Afghanistan speech at Fort Myers? The Secret Service is already out of money and can’t make payroll. Do you plan to give your salary to them or continue to charge them? How about those 700 plus government officials recently kicked out of Russia? Can your savings on that payroll be transferred to the Secret Service?

What else? I forgot to mention another new award I plan to give on my Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. This is the Dreadlocks Award. Fake News Sports reports that athletes with dreadlocks run 2.6 seconds faster than athletes that do not sport dreadlocks.

Did you read HWIT last week about the finalists for fried foods at the Texas State Fair? Texas Monthly published photos of them. Here is the Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger.

You can click on the link to view the other so called foods.

The article is pretty funny. I am sorry – Fried chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick and Pinot Noir Popcorn and tamale filled donuts are just wrong.

The Gulf Coast Fish Bowl looks like something I made in the third grade and gave my Mother for Mother’s Day. It has a straw in it. It could be brown salt water.

If you do go The State Fair of Texas and take your grandchildren, please send your photos of one of these dishes- preferably including a selfie. Remember to say Hi to Big Tex. This means you Mr. and Mrs. Tedder.