Tag Archives: Houston Astros

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!

Photo by me 1986. Old Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Demolished in 2010.

Tonight: Astros/Yankees 7:08 FS1 – Not this Year Yanks! BTHO Yankees!

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

This morning I am feeling like Prissy in Gone With the Wind because “

MISS SCARLETT, THE YANKEES ARE COMING!

Brooklyn Bridge – photo by me 1986

That’s right; the boys in pinstripes are coming from New York City to Houston, Texas Minute Maid Park to play the Houston Astros in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series. Winner of the series goes to the World Series. I will have my Dallas beard on, Honeyboy’s Astro cap, a hot dog and cold adult beverage ready for the first pitch at 7:08 on FS1. GO ASTROS!

It is going to be an Orange weekend for almost everybody.

Between innings one can catch more orange on TV and watch Clemson v Syracuse on ESPN. The All Things Orange begins at 6:00. Syracuse’s mascot is one of the anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots named Otto. The original mascot of Syracuse was a Native American character named The Saltine Warrior. The Saltine Warrior remained the mascot until 1978 when the Native American students successfully said no Native Americas named after crackers. After 17 years with no mascot Syracuse selected an orange fluff ball and called it Otto.

Clemson’s mascot is also one of those anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots. It is a tiger named The Tiger. Clemson’s athletic teams have been nicknamed the Tigers since 1896, when coach (and later university president) Walter Merritt Riggs brought the name from his alma mater, Auburn University.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_the_Orange#Saltine_Warrior

If you are a night owl, following the Big Orange you can watch Washington State vs Cal on ESPN at 9:30. It is always interesting to see what Mike Leach of Washington State will do.

Starting the Saturday at 11:00 we can watch The Tortilla Throwing Texas Tech Red Raiders take their breakfast tacos to Morgantown to meet the West Virginia Mountaineers on ESPNU. Throwing tortillas is nothing compared to West Virginia students burning couches in the streets when WVa. wins.

In the Game of Purple the rising Frogs of TCU play Kansas State on FS1.

Finally it will be 2:30 and time for some real football.

CBS will have Auburn v LSU. I see a bad moon rising for one of these Tigers, and it is not the one in purple and gold.

In Stillwater, Oklahoma State celebrates homecoming by keeping Baylor’s record perfect with zero wins. Watch it on FS1.

But The Eyes of Texas will be upon The Red River Rivalry with OU v TU on ESPN. HWIT – the Horns will need to bring everything they got to hang with the Sooners. The Baker Boys are mad from last week and are planning a steak dinner that night.

At 6:15 on ESPN the Razorbacks of Arkansas visit The Crimson Tide of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. Now Coach Bielema, you going to have to dress up a little more than in previous games. That tacky sweat shirt is not going to cut it, even in Alabama. Text Alabama Coach Saban and ask for some fashion tips. He is real good at giving that girl in the commercial fashion advice. ROLL TIDE.

At 6:15 on ESPN2 the Texas Aggies visit The Swamp in Gainesville to meet Florida. This could be very interesting for the Aggies.

Looking like The Creature from the Swamp, Florida will be wearing this faux alligator nature looking ensemble designed by someone on an acid trip. I am going out on a limb and giving Monday’s Ugly Uniform to Florida.

Gig ‘Em Aggies! BTHO Florida!

Thursday, October 5, 2017 – Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Thursday, October 5, 2017 – Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I memorized and recited this great American poem when I was in Grade Eight. It still one of my favorites.

Here’s what I’m thinking. I am getting my father’s Houston Astros cap out of the closet, making me a hot dog with mustard and pickle relish, having a cold beer, and thinking that my father, Honeyboy, is doing the same in Heaven. Backstory: HB preplanned his funeral years before he passed away. When the funeral director asked what type of casket he preferred, he asked with a straight and serious face “Do you have something with a television with good reception so I can see my Astros?”  When he passed away in February 2000 the minister noted Minute Maid Park had a retractable roof so he need not worry about being able to see the games from above. The first game played in the new stadium was the following month between the Houston Astros and the New York Yankees.

Then I think he and I are listening to Casey at the Bat and hoping all of those players mentioned play for the Boston Red Sox. LET’S GO ASTROS!

 

Thursday, April 23, 2015 – Throw Back Thursday to 1966

Thursday, April 23, 2015 – Throw Back Thursday to 1966

How’s this for a Throw Back Thursday?

 

Astrodome 1966 (800x599)astrodome April 1966 (800x600) On April 23, the Houston Astros had an open date.

Note: Did you see that The Houston Post was the newspaper.