Category Archives: Coach Nick Saban

Monday, December 04, 2017 – The Game of Bowls and The Coaching Game of Thrones

Monday, December 04, 2017 – The Game of Bowls and The Coaching Game of Thrones

I see this morning that the ESPN site has a guide to the upcoming college bowl games. Here’s what I’m thinking – Here is my guide to the upcoming college football bowl games.

From ESPN “For the first time since 2014 there were more bowl-eligible football teams than spots to compete this year.”

Me: That is because the bowl standards are too low; there are too many unqualified teams, there are too many bowl games, but it makes money for all involved.

You may divide your bowl games as you wish. I have divided my bowl games into the following categories:

  • The No Count Bowls,
  • The Never Heard of Before Bowls,
  • The No One Cares unless you or your child and money go there Bowls,
  • The Advertising and T-shirt Sales Bowls,
  • The SEC Bowl,
  • The Last Aggie Bowl Game before the Jimbo Era and of course
  • The Big Playoff Bowls.

This listing is incomplete, but I will update as we approach the days.

Noon on ABC on Dec. 16 – The Celebration Bowl – North Carolina A&T vs Grambling. I hope they show halftime and the Grambling Band. That is always something to celebrate.

1:00 on ESPN – The R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl with Troy and North Texas. What is this? R+L = X? The Algebra Bowl? Still it is in NOLA, so who cares?

The AutoNation Cure Bowl – Western Kentucky vs Georgia State at 2:30 CBSSN. From Orlando. Oh my, the Cure of the Nation is left up to these two teams and these states?

The Las Vegas Bowl – No. 25 Boise State vs. Oregon 3:30 on ABC. Thank goodness it is not on that seizure causing Boise State blue football field. I would bet $50 those Oregon yellow highlighters against the field would make me throw up.

The GILDAN New Mexico Bowl –Marshall versus Colorado State 4:30 ESPN. Never heard GILDON?

Raycom Media Camellia Bowl – Middle Tennessee vs Arkansas State ESPN. Might be fun.

The Goodyear Cotton Bowl has No. 8 USC vs No. 5 THE Ohio State. I call this one The Consolation Bowl Game or The Get Over It Ohio State and play better schedules Bowl.

The Play Station Fiesta Bowl has No. 11 Washington vs No. 9 Penn State on Dec 30 at 4:00 on ESPN. Why don’t you just do this one on a Play Station and we can all play? We can call it The Play Station Fan Interactive Bowl.

The Chick-fil-A-Peach Bowl with No. 12 UCF vs No. 7 Auburn. My cat, Peach, insists on watching this one, but she knows better than to purr for Auburn.

The Capitol One Orange Bowl – No.10 Miami vs No. 6 Wisconsin. What’s in Your Wallet? On Wisconsin!

TaxSlayer Bowl: Louisville 23 vs Mississippi State on Dec 30 on ESPN at noon. These two teams and states are now in charge of the new tax bill?

The AutoZone Liberty Bowl has Iowa State vs 20 Memphis Dec 30 at 12:30 on ABC. Yuk.

The Outback Bowl has Michigan vs South Carolina. I would rather go eat at Outback than watch.

The Citrus Bowl finds No. 17 LSU vs No. 14 Notre Dame on New Year’s Day on ABC. One of my most favs and one of my least favs. Bless me Father for I have sinned, but LSU is going to win.

The Camping World Bowl has No. 22 Virginia Tech vs No. 19 Oklahoma State. Does one have to camp out? If the Mountaineers win, will they burn the couches at their campsites?

The Valero Alamo Bowl in beautiful San Antonio has Stanford vs TCU at 9:00 ESPN. A fun city to have a bowl game regardless of who plays. This should be called The Tree Frog Bowl. Think about it!

The San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl has No. 18 Washington State vs Michigan State. Go Leach!

The Walk-On’s Independence Bowl on Dec 27 has Florida State vs Southern Mississippi. The WALK ON BOWL? Can I play?

The Arizona Bowl New Mexico State Utah State on Dec 29. Oh boy! The Utes!

The Texas Bowl – THE University of Texas and Missouri. Really? You know the Aggies (and most any other team) would have brought a bigger crowd to Houston!

Again from ESPN: On Dec 29 “the former FSU Coach, Jimbo Fisher, will lead his new team, Texas A&M against Wake Forest in the Belk bowl.”

  1. What the Hell is the Belk Bowl?
  2. WAKE FOREST?
  3. Jimbo’s coaching???
  4. He does look good in a maroon blazer!
  5. Why did he come to the SEC? Watch out, Saban. The Aggies are coming and We Are Fearless!

Will those be the years of Championships????

I know I have left out some teams and bowl games, but the ESPN app crashed so I’m done for today except for the big Bowls.

5:00 on ESPN – The Rose Bowl – No. 3 Georgia and No.2 Oklahoma. I love a parade. Going to The Rose Bowl Parade is on my bucket list. As much as it pains me: Boomer Sooners!

8:45 on ESPN – The Sugar Bowl – No.4 Alabama v # 1 Clemson. These two and their fans in Nawlins!!! How fun is this? ROLL TIDE.

Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

Since I only write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like, there are very few awards this Monday. This is due to the fact that almost all my teams lost in a most distressing and upsetting fashion.

Granted LSU is one of my teams, except when they play the Aggies. So Geaux Tigers.

In addition to Who’s In, the better question is Who’s Out? The Coaching Carousel Merry Go Round Award goes to Arkansas, Texas A&M, Arizona State, Mississippi State and others to follow. Florida, Ole Miss and UCLA hired new guys. Then Tennessee hired somebody, but then took it back. Is Jimbo Fisher really interested in Texas A&M? Maybe the entire coaching staffs from Austin Westlake or Lake Travis High School would be worth a look.

The Crappola Bowl Awards go to all of my teams who will be playing in bowl games with strange sponsors for a dinky trophy. This will give T-shirt manufactures job security.

The Iron Bowl Deficiency Award goes to the fans of Alabama.

The William T. Sherman Award goes to Auburn in hopes that the War Eagles will march through Georgia like Sherman to the Sea! But, I really do not care about either team. YUK.

The Best Hope for Texas Football Award goes to TCU. Please let TCU win the Big 12 Championship. Otherwise, the best college football teams in Texas are The University of North Texas and Sam Houston State University.

Thank goodness it is basketball season. How soon until March?

Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

I must admit I did not watch a great deal of college football this weekend. But I did click around on some TV channels and tablet screens and of course have some comments. So Here’s what I’m Thinking.

Let’s start with the West Coast.

The Blue Field of Nightmares Award goes to Boise State. The uniforms were the same color as the blue football field. This is just wrong and should be banned by the NCAA because of possible seizure causings.

The Really Smart and Strange People Award goes to Cal and Stanford with the Cardinal (remember it’s a color, not a bird) winning 14 to 17. Is the Stanford Band still on probation?

The Last Minute Kick Award goes to the Washington Huskies defeating Utah 30 -33 as time expires. I like Utah because I like to use the quote from My Cousin Vinny regarding “the two yutes” or this case “the Utes.”

Moving to the Heartland we find…

The Pistol Pete Pooped Out Award goes to Oklahoma State for losing to Kansas State 40-45.

Our Anatomical Suggestive Bad Sportsmanship Award goes to quarterback Baker Mayfield of Oklahoma for suggesting that Kansas players perform an action unsuited for observation by the public.

Mayfield also receives the Do You Talk to Your Mother Like That? Award. I counted at least eight beeps. It probably will not hurt your Heisman chances, Baker, but you do not see Johnny Manziel or Jameis Winston in the Heisman Commercials. Stupid Heisman winners do not make the videos.

Moving South we find…

The Cakewalk Awards going to The Tide for demolishing Mercer 56-0 and to Auburn for similar scoring against UL Monroe 42-13 UL Monroe. At least we know where UL Monroe is located. Where the Hell is Mercer? Get ready for The Iron Bowl next Saturday. ROLL TIDE!

In anticipation of Thanksgiving game the LSU Tigers warmed up by beating Tennessee. That was some ugly colors on the TV. Faded is just a not a good color on anybody.

Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State handled Arkansas quite well, but then again, who doesn’t?

The only game I actually watched was The Fighting Aggies and their Defense defeat Ole Miss. A Big Solid Award goes to the Aggie defense. A True Big Solid Award goes to the Aggies Derrick Tucker for intercepting a pass and returning it for a touchdown. WHOOP!

And now a song for Thanksgiving…

Over the river and the through the swamp to Baton Rouge we go; The Ags know the way; we just have to play; to get a win today! Hey!

Over the river and through bayous to Death Valley Stadium we go; We’ve been there before, but this time is different; This time we win on the road, Hey!

Over the river and down Highway 10; the Aggie bus rolls true; For tis Thanksgiving Day and we just had to say Beat the Hell Out of LSU!

Monday, November 13, 2017 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 13, 2017 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Goodness Gracious! Great Balls of Fire! What a college football weekend. There were blowouts and nail biters. Let us begin.

Every team and its fan base get an extra-large Poopy Undies Trophy. Even if one of your alma maters wins with 50+ points because it was that kind of season.

The I’ll Have Another Bloody Mary Award goes to LSU who at the unreasonable hour of 11:00 AM defeated Arkansas. What ESPN programming executive put LSU and Arkansas at 11:00 AM? Dude (or Dudettte) have you ever been to Baton Rouge or Louisiana? Even my relatives had only had a couple of drinks by that time. Nevertheless, Mike the Tiger did fry up some bacon.

Oklahoma State in a rallying thriller from Ames, Iowa come back to win over Iowa State. The Cowboys win the Believer Receiver Award for the interception in the end zone in the closing seconds of regulation.

Shifting to the afternoon…

The Somebody Called PETA Award goes to Auburn for beating the former # 1 ranked Georgia Bulldogs 40-17. Poor UGA!

Bevo and THE University of Texas were victorious over Kansas. Does it really count if you beat Kansas in football?

Koach Kliff and the Tortilla Throwers beat Baylor. Does it count if it’s Baylor?

Texas and Baylor both receive The Terminator Award because both schools should say “I’ll Be Back!”

And to the evening games…

In the Catholics and Convicts Redux Bowl (Google it) Miami (The U) beat the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. ND played like a team in the Nun’s Annual Sisters of the Poor Intermural Tournament. Therefore, the Irish win the Nun’s Annual Sisters of the Poor Intermural Tournament Trophy.

TCU receives The Endangered Frog Award. The OU Sooner Schooner left frog guts all along the Road to the Big 12 Championship game. Bedlam II in December???

In a thriller from Kyle Field Texas A&M defeated The University of New Mexico. FYI 55 to 14 is a thriller in Aggieland. Remember you must show up for the 4th Quarter. Remember UCLA?

Speaking of a true thrilling and exciting game we had the Alabama/Miss State. Both teams are awarded:

  • On The Edge of My Seat Award,
  • The Nail Biter Award,
  • Where Are My Salts? Award
  • The I Need Oxygen Award,
  • The I Bet BJ and J, Lisa and R and J and Big Sold Just Fainted Award
  • The Big Solid Cussing Award and
  • The I’m Exhausted Award.

 

Thank you both teams and schools for a thrilling show of SEC football. Please sign the soon to be released petition to change the name of The Iron Bowl Game to The QBs from Texas Game.

Turn in Friday as The Snark Returns and The Aggies Head to Oxford, Mississippi – Home of one of my literary heroes – William Cutbirth Faulkner.

This awards program was brought to you by The Volunteer, Twelfth Man, and Razorback Moving Company. Bon voyage to Butch at Tennessee, and soon to be part of the SEC Coaching Shakeups – Sumlin at TAMU and Bielema at Arkansas. Good luck to all of you. Sit down, Bus Driver, and drive the moving van.

Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

My apologies for bloggus interruptus this week. Sometimes life gets in the way. Therefore, I have not been able to conduct the extensive research that I do to prepare for today. That really just means I have not looked at the ESPN app.

Good grief, Charlie Brown! Who programmed all of these games at 11:00 AM? I want names.

At the horrible hour of 11:00 AM, one can watch Penn State and Michigan State on Fox or Wisconsin and Indiana on ABC. Mississippi State is playing UMass on the SECN.

From the plains of Lubbock we have Kansas State visiting Texas Tech on FS 1. This should prove to a regular tortilla flinging contest.

In a game of Not Worthy for TV Coverage, Baylor and Kansas play for pride with hopes not to finish the Big 12 Conference Standings in DAL (Dead Ass Last). Basketball officially begins next week.

The 11:00 game of interest is on ESPN between Auburn and the Texas Aggies. Join me and other Former Students of Texas A&M University as we begin the Kevin Sumlin Farewell Tour. When we pay you large sums of money, we want more than a Fair-Well team. Even an upset will not save your seat, Coach.

 

Dear Coach Saban, is there anyone on your payroll that is ready for a head coaching position? Is there a way Texas A&M can clone you, Sir?

Coach Dabo? You got any one ready and prepped? Anybody at Ohio State? Wisconsin? Austin Westlake HS? Lake Travis High School?

At 2:30 ESPN2 brings us Iowa State and West Virginia. Are you serious? Iowa State is leading the Big 12? That ain’t right.

On CBS we have Georgia and South Carolina. That UGA dog is getting some serious committee notice. Like Baylor and Kansas, SC can also look forward to basketball season.

Stanford and Washington State are on Fox and Clemson and NC State are on ABC. West Coast crazy people versus East Coast crazy people.

The game of interest for the afternoon is BEDLAM! In Stillwater on FS1 with Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State. Go POKES! This should be a quarterback extravaganza.

Now we prepare for the evening games and the time change. As if 11:00 football games do not mess us up enough!

This one could be good one and hopefully knock Iowa State out of the Big 12 lead. At 6:15 THE University of Texas and TCU kick off on ESPN live from Amon G. Carter Stadium. This could be a defining win for Bevo and the Boys.

BJ and J and Lisa and Rick, please forgive me but I got to go with DNA and family when Alabama and LSU kick off on CBS at 7:00.

Don’t forget to set your clocks BACK one hour before you go to bed or fall asleep during these two West Coast games.

Oregon and Washington FS1 9:00 and Arizona and USC ESPN 9:45.

Meanwhile, it’s Maroon Out in Kyle Field for Auburn so let’s hump it Ags and

BTHO Auburn!!!

Technical difficulties are preventing pictures. Probably Russian hackers.

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!

Photo by me 1986. Old Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Demolished in 2010.

Tonight: Astros/Yankees 7:08 FS1 – Not this Year Yanks! BTHO Yankees!

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

This morning I am feeling like Prissy in Gone With the Wind because “

MISS SCARLETT, THE YANKEES ARE COMING!

Brooklyn Bridge – photo by me 1986

That’s right; the boys in pinstripes are coming from New York City to Houston, Texas Minute Maid Park to play the Houston Astros in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series. Winner of the series goes to the World Series. I will have my Dallas beard on, Honeyboy’s Astro cap, a hot dog and cold adult beverage ready for the first pitch at 7:08 on FS1. GO ASTROS!

It is going to be an Orange weekend for almost everybody.

Between innings one can catch more orange on TV and watch Clemson v Syracuse on ESPN. The All Things Orange begins at 6:00. Syracuse’s mascot is one of the anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots named Otto. The original mascot of Syracuse was a Native American character named The Saltine Warrior. The Saltine Warrior remained the mascot until 1978 when the Native American students successfully said no Native Americas named after crackers. After 17 years with no mascot Syracuse selected an orange fluff ball and called it Otto.

Clemson’s mascot is also one of those anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots. It is a tiger named The Tiger. Clemson’s athletic teams have been nicknamed the Tigers since 1896, when coach (and later university president) Walter Merritt Riggs brought the name from his alma mater, Auburn University.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_the_Orange#Saltine_Warrior

If you are a night owl, following the Big Orange you can watch Washington State vs Cal on ESPN at 9:30. It is always interesting to see what Mike Leach of Washington State will do.

Starting the Saturday at 11:00 we can watch The Tortilla Throwing Texas Tech Red Raiders take their breakfast tacos to Morgantown to meet the West Virginia Mountaineers on ESPNU. Throwing tortillas is nothing compared to West Virginia students burning couches in the streets when WVa. wins.

In the Game of Purple the rising Frogs of TCU play Kansas State on FS1.

Finally it will be 2:30 and time for some real football.

CBS will have Auburn v LSU. I see a bad moon rising for one of these Tigers, and it is not the one in purple and gold.

In Stillwater, Oklahoma State celebrates homecoming by keeping Baylor’s record perfect with zero wins. Watch it on FS1.

But The Eyes of Texas will be upon The Red River Rivalry with OU v TU on ESPN. HWIT – the Horns will need to bring everything they got to hang with the Sooners. The Baker Boys are mad from last week and are planning a steak dinner that night.

At 6:15 on ESPN the Razorbacks of Arkansas visit The Crimson Tide of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. Now Coach Bielema, you going to have to dress up a little more than in previous games. That tacky sweat shirt is not going to cut it, even in Alabama. Text Alabama Coach Saban and ask for some fashion tips. He is real good at giving that girl in the commercial fashion advice. ROLL TIDE.

At 6:15 on ESPN2 the Texas Aggies visit The Swamp in Gainesville to meet Florida. This could be very interesting for the Aggies.

Looking like The Creature from the Swamp, Florida will be wearing this faux alligator nature looking ensemble designed by someone on an acid trip. I am going out on a limb and giving Monday’s Ugly Uniform to Florida.

Gig ‘Em Aggies! BTHO Florida!

Friday, October 6, 2017 – Stage Left: The Snark Appears

Friday, October 6, 2017 – Stage Left: The Snark Appears

Before we get to our college football Snarky Friday, let us offer congratulations to the Houston Astros for their 8-2 victory yesterday over the Boston Red Sox in Game one of the American League Division Playoffs. I would have so enjoyed seeing second baseman, Jose Altuve, become the 9th player with a 3 HR game in postseason history. But the game was not televised on TV on a reasonable channel – even for someone with has many sports channels as I have.

Therefore today, when I turn on my TV at 1:00, I better see some players in Astro uniforms getting ready to play some players in Boston Red Sox uniforms. Do not make me go 8th Grade School Teacher on you. GO ASTROS!

What is on the screens tomorrow for college football? Starting the morning at 11:00 AM we have potential Blow Outs featuring:

  • Ole Miss and Auburn on SECN
  • Georgia and Vanderbilt on ESPN
  • Iowa State and Oklahoma on FOX
  • Texas Tech and Kansas on FS1
  • Wake Forest and Clemson on ESPN2.

I do not like any of those schools at this time.

At 2:30 it is time to catch the shuttle to campus to tailgate. I should arrive mid to end of first quarter for these interesting games.

  • West Virginia and TCU on FS 1 – ESPN Game Day comes to you from Fort Worth, Texas. Lee Curser will look good in the Big Horned Frog head.
  • LSU and Florida on CBS – Remember Troy! For Tigers’ sake, it was homecoming last weekend! Swamp. Swamp. Chomp. Chomp.

Scheduling right along;

  • 4:10 Spirit Walk @ War Hymn Statue
  • 4:20 Kyle Field Gates Open
  • 5:00 Corps Step off @ Quad
  • 5:30 – Take shuttle back home to watch:

From the Big 12 Conference which is really only 10 teams, at 6:00 on FS1 from Royal Texas Memorial Stadium. Royal Texas Memorial Stadium??? Huh? That ain’t right! That is how the ESPN app shows it, Horns.

Allow me to continue correctly. Coming to you on FS1 from Daryl K. Royal Memorial Stadium, THE University of Texas hosts the Kansas State Wildcats. To save us all time and data charges tomorrow for texting the following question: “How old is Bill Snyder?” Tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 77 years old.

May I offer this small suggestion to the Longhorn team? Do not see past the purple haze tomorrow in anticipation of seeing red next weekend.

And now a football trifecta. All three of my alma maters play tomorrow. I got papers from all three hanging on the wall.

In the Battle of the Big Thicket, also at 6:00 the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks play the Sam Houston State Bearkats. Ax ‘Em, Jacks! This will be on the small tablet screen streaming ESPN3.

Scheduling along:

  • 5:56 Spirit of Aggieland
  • 6:08 National Anthem: Texas Our Texas
  • 6:15 –on ESPN – Kick-Off – BTHO ALABAMA!
  • 6:16 – Ensure Smelling Salts are close by. Get Dammit Doll Ready.

First, to the Announcers:

Corp march in 2016. Photo by me.

Dear ESPN, if one of your booth mouth jockeys or whichever of you is on the ground – If you say “Battle Hymn” instead of War Hymn as you did last week, please run. Run Away Now. Run to Austin. Remember those people pictured above carry swords.

Second: Welcome to College Station, Texas, Coach Sabin (sic). I hope you like the hospitality and have a memorial experience in Kyle Field.

Looking out my backyard. Photo by me.

Third: Pardon me for  yelling, but it is going to take a lot more yelling than this. OH LORD! LET THERE BE A MIRACLE ON THE BRAZOS ON SATURDAY NIGHT IN KYLE FIELD BY THE LIGHT OF THE SILVERY MOON.

PLEASE DO NOT LET THE TIDE RUNNETH OVER AND DROWN DOTH THE AGGIES.

Photo by KB

Photo by KB

PLEASE LET THE 12TH MAN SOUNDETH LOUD WHEN ALABAMA HAS THE BALL.

PLEASE HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH SMELLING SALTS UNTIL THE CLOCK READS 00:00 ENDING THE GAME.

PLEASE, HELP THE AGGIES BEATETH THE HELL OUT OF ALABAMA!

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

It is ever too early to start preparing for this weekend’s football game. I am so excited. Ms. Navasota and I have an opportunity to tailgate in the afternoon prior to the Texas Aggie Alabama game Saturday night. Maybe Ms. Navasota’s cousin KT will join us.

I dusted off the Beat Alabama Shrine last evening and begin lighting the candle when I say vespers. I realize the helmet, even with the JM autograph is of little value, but he is the only one to have Rolled back the Tide.

Ms. Navasota, Cousin KT and I want to blend in with the college coed crowd so we need an appropriate game day wardrobe. Just because it has been almost 50 years since we graduated from under grad school, we want to fit it toe to head.

I believe we three are able to produce the necessary cowboy boots. I mean we are all Native Texas so we have several pair.

We have had difficulty to finding Daisy Dukes cut offs in our sizes that show off our butt cheeks. It seems the stores do not carry our sizes of cut offs with elastic waists or in super stretch. I believe we have been able to make do with some jeans we had left over from George W.’s first term and a pair of pinkin shears. Those alligator teeth scissors.

I am going to skip bodice attire and focus on face and head-gear and save the bodice until last. Like boots, all Native Texas have a cowboy hat of some sort. Real cowboys and cowgirls have several hats – the high dollar beaver hat you wear to rodeo; the nice summer straw hat you wear in the summer; the hats you work it and the $2.00 hat you wear to costume parties.

This cheap cowboy hat is appropriate else it distract from the $250 Rayban Aviator sun glasses that adorn your face. Side bar: Being the more literary type, my $250 Rayban sun glasses are called “Gatsby” for the sign over the Optical Shop in The Great Gatsby and Cats That Support Aggies.

But back to bodice. I have purchased each of us a maroon lace bralette.

While it sounds like a cheap wine or a French dessert, it seems you wear this over your bra and it is supposed to function as a shirt or blouse. I honest to God do not know if this is the back or the front. We will have to experiment.

We will supply our own bras to wear under our lace bralettes. I suppose the bras I have with NIKE on them will not work. Oooh, I wonder if there is a bra that says BTHO Bama! I would so wear that.

I doubt you will be able to see us on television because we will be so blended in with the co-eds. I plan to wear my maroon bralette over my T-shirt.

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Thirty days hath September and there were some games to remember and many to forget… But first.

The NFL debacle – IMHO – This should never have been an issue. The intrusion of the government into the corporate arena sets a dangerous precedent. Here’s what I’m thinking – the American citizens in Puerto Rico would die to have a cold drink of fresh water and electricity to even watch TV. Wait, the citizens just might die while waiting. So why?

Speaking of why? Why is THE University of Texas playing on a Thursday? Better yet, why is THE University even playing Iowa State? Even better, why is Iowa State even in the Big 12 Conference?

BEVO – Photo by Jill.

But BEVO’s Boys withstood the Cyclones 17-7. Please know that Iowa State is in the running for Ugly Uniform Award. The mascot is a weather pattern.

Tonight we have Miami and Duke on ESPN at 6:00 and USC and Washington State following. It is always fun to watch a Mike Leach team.

The Saturday Wake-up Call Games at 11:00 are:

New Mexico State and Arkansas on SECN – more Aggies for the Baconators. Did you know the New Mexico State mascot is named Pistol Pete?

  • Vanderbilt and Florida on ESPN – Did you know the ONLY altruistic endeavor by Commodore Vanderbilt was the establishment of Vanderbilt University?
  • Northwestern and Wisconsin on ABC. Yawn.

In the 2:30 time slot we find:

  • Baylor at Kansas State @ 2:30 on ESPN 2. This depends on which Bears show up in Manhattan. Could be interesting if the ones from last week take the field.
  • Georgia and Tennessee on CBS – Dogs again. UGA and Smokey. I don’t know if “Rocky Top will always be…”

Why? Why are the best games in the evening?

If any two teams should have a weather pattern as their mascot it should be Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. in Lubbock at 7:00 on Fox. Tortillas blowing in the wind.

Love my TT pic. Love you Little Sister. AXOs.

If Oklahoma State and New Mexico State should meet in a game, would it be Dueling Pistol Petes?

In the battle between Mississippi and Alabama ESPN will showcase:

  • Mississippi State and Auburn at 5:00. To the Bulldogs – you need a Big Solid Defense. To Auburn: Roll Tide.
  • Ole Miss and Alabama at 8:00 ESPN at Tuscaloosa – Hotty Toddy, but Roll Tide. Dear Coach Saban, Do not underestimate your opponent. The Rebels have nothing to play for except pride.

Sandwiched between the Battle of Mississippi and Alabama we find Troy University at Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge to meet LSU at 6:00 in the last non-conference primer for LSU. Here is a primer on Troy: The Troy Trojans mascot is named T-Roy. He is one of those dressed up mascots. Troy University’s athletics nickname was the Red Wave until the early 1970s when the student body voted to change the name to Trojans. I am not going to ask why they changed to that. One can only hope the students and the state of Alabama were aware that Trojan refers to a warrior and not a birth control device.

The game of the weekend is the Texas A&M Aggies versus the South Carolina Gamecocks on the SECN at 6:30.That means crappy announcers live from Kyle Field. Things to watch for overall: Crappy announcers misprouncing small Texas towns, talking way too much and saying nothing. For the Gamecocks watch for Uncle Will Muschamp exploding at referees and players. For the Aggies watch for the explosive Captain Christian Kirk.

Other burning questions you must have are:

What is the mascot of South Carolina?

Cocky (mascot) Cocky is the costumed mascot of the University of South Carolina athletics teams. He represents a cartoon version of a gamecock (a fighting rooster).

Why is South Carolina’s mascot a Gamecock?

The University of South Carolina’s varsity sports teams are known as the “Gamecocks”. This unique moniker is held in honor of Thomas Sumter, a Revolutionary War hero from South Carolina who was nicknamed the “Carolina Gamecock” after British General Banastre Tarleton said Sumter “fought like a gamecock.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocky_(mascot)

What is the mascot of Texas A&M?

The mascot of Texas A&M University is Reveille. She is a beautiful and very real Collie and the First Lady of Aggieland. She is prettiest mascot in her category in the NCAA mascot contest.

Source: NCAA and every Texas Aggie on the planet.

Native Texan Wall: Texas Monthly Cover signed “To Delia; Ann Richards.” FYI – I also have George W’s signature signed “To Delia Best Wishes George W. Bush.

Since we started the day with politics, let us end it with politics. When former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, was campaigning for her first term, she and her staff were flying to The Valley on a campaign trip. One of her staff members asked: “Miss Richards, the people will want to know where you stand on cock fighting.” Miss Richards replied “To be honest, I never met one that I wanted to fight with.”

BTHO South Carolina.