Tag Archives: Sam Houston State Bearkats

Friday, October 05, 2018 – The Friday Football Snark’s Schadenfreude

Posted on October 5, 2018 | 1 comment

Friday, October 05, 2018 – The Friday Football Snark’s Schadenfreude

Let’s get this schadenfreude started with the word of the day!

Schadenfreude is a noun meaning satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune. Let’s get the misfortune started early Saturday morning with:

Number 1 Alabama and number nothing Arkansas kickoff at 11:00 on ESPN. Tusk, the hog, will become Tusked, Miss Piggy by half time. The Tri Delt sorority flag football team will play the fourth quarter.

Also seeing lots of red on FOX it is the Red River Rivalry with #7 Oklahoma and # 19 THE University of Texas. “Murry, Murry, quite contrary, how many TDs will you throw?” Not happening, Sorry Horns.

Get the remote and set the screens for the 2:30 games. These are big ones.

Well, this one probably isn’t big to any groups save the fan bases. Baylor and Kansas State on FS1. Sic ‘Em Bears!

In a game of interest on ESPN it is #4 Clemson and number nothing Wake Forest. Wake Forest should pose no contest but you never know it could be Woke Forest.

On ESPN2 it is the number 25 Oklahoma State Cowboys and number nothing but always dangerous Iowa State. Mascots with names of dangerous weather patterns like cyclones or hurricanes should be banned. Also, Oklahoma State, please do not wear those ugly gray granny tights looking uniforms again. EVER!

But the biggest game of all is on CBS with #5 LSU and #22 Florida! GEAUX TIGERS! Mike the Tiger likes gator meat; tastes like chicken. I was taught early on to never pull for a team from Florida. The LSU/Florida would always be a three flasker for my uncles at the game. They would have a flask in each boot and one in each wives’ purse.

I made need the same number of flasks as Number 13 Kentucky and number nothing YET Texas A&M kick off on ESPN at 6:00. Big Blue Nation arrives in Kyle Field to meet Big Maroon 12th Man.

The University of Kentucky has three official mascots:

Blue — A live bobcat (note that in American English, “wildcat” generally refers to this particular mammal). He lives at the state-operated Salato Wildlife Education Center near Frankfort. Unlike the school’s two costumed mascots, he never attends games, because bobcats are very shy by nature and do not react well with large crowds.
- If you were a wildcat living in Kentucky wouldn’t you be very shy with crowds too?
The Wildcat — A costumed student, he made his debut in the 1976–77 school year.
- Anthropomorphic mascot. For the products of the Kentucky education systems it means “it ain’t real; it’s got on a costume; don’t shoot it.
Scratch — A later addition, he is a more child-friendly version of The Wildcat. Scratch wears his hat backwards, drinks Pepsi, and loves to party.
- There is a child-friendly wildcat?

KU fans are not able to agree on the mascot’s name either. From the unimaginative and obvious fans the mascot is called “Wildcat.” From the Possible Pepsi sponsors the mascot is called “Scratch.” Why didn’t they go with Blue – the name of their live bobcat? Sorry, I forgot. It’s Kentucky. You may be ranked number 13, but the Aggies will always be ahead of you with 12th Man.

I would be remiss if I did not include The Battle of the Piney Woods between two of my sheepskin document deliverers- Stephen F. Austin and Sam Houston State. Holding degrees from both institutions, I really have no preference as to the victor. Both schools sit “’neath Texas pines, where we’ve found peaceful shrines and every month is May.” Guess I do have a preference. Ax ‘Em Jacks! ESPN3 at 1:00

BTHO Kentucky! WHOOP!

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Big Blue Nation, college mascots, humor, Kentucky, Sam Houston State Bearkats, Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks

Friday, August 18, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Posted on August 18, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 18, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Before the Snark enters, let us all take a moment to send our thoughts and prayers to the people of Spain. Not to exclude any group, but please watch over the Texas Aggie Women’s basketball team and all of the other teams visiting Europe.

And now appearing in regal snarkiness, here is The Snark to dish on college football.

I can’t wait for the Ugliest Uniforms for the Week Award this year. Here is putting Mississippi State on notice that the Aggies will be wearing color changing uniforms. That’s right. It is some kind of weird threads that the Adidas people dreamed up that allegedly changes from maroon to black and then glows depending on the stadium lights. I hope this works better than last year’s attempt to make the numbers glow and no one, including the broadcasters could see the numbers.

But we are still 25 days away from some of the first kick offs. I am happy the Sam Houston Bearkats open their season this month. SHSU is ranked #3 behind James Madison and North Dakota in that division’s polls. JM and ND have combined to the win the last National Championships. Go Kats! Beat the hell out of the Richmond, Spiders. Yes, the mascot of Richmond is a spider.

Let The Snark provide a summer summary of players. Here is what has happened during college football thus far this summer. He:

Transferred to:

A Junior College
Another school to go to graduate school
The county jail.

He hurt his:

Leg, knee, foot, shoulder, toe etc.

He was picked up for:

DUI
Passed out in flower bed in bar district
Assault
Assault and battery
Assault with a battery
Theft
Drug use
Drug possession
Illegal weapon possession
Being stupid and throwing away opportunities!

My apologies that The Snark only has time to cover the summary of the players from Florida schools. Roll Tide over Florida State. BOOM! And Snark out!

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Florida State, NCAA college football, Sam Houston State Bearkats

Monday, December 12, 2016 – One College Football Award and Your Monday Assignments

Posted on December 12, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, December 12, 2016 – One College Football Award and Your Monday Assignments

The only award today for college football goes to Sam Houston State University. While alumni are still proud of you, I must award you the Wait Until Next Year Award. It was either that one or the one to James Madison for “A Good Old Fashioned Big Thicket Bearkats’ Butt Kicking.”

Moving onward through the fog…

This just in from the William Robert Bagachips News Bureau. http://www.billybobbagachips.fakenews.com

The finalists for head of the Drug Enforcement Agency in President Elect Twitter’s Cabinet are Tommy Chong, Cheech Marin and Walter White with Mr. White having the inside track according to SNL.

Keep moving through the Worm Hole.

Funny Moon 4.9.16 2016-04-09 007 (800x530)

Our word for the day is thransonical. It is an adjective meaning boastful; vainglorious. His humour is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. — William Shakespeare, Love’s Labour’s Lost, 1598

For the Shakespearean challenged Love’s Labour’s Lost is a comedy with a theme of reality versus fantasy.

Assignment: Use thransonical in a sentence at your next Christmas party to describe President Elect Trump. Take a survey to determine how many people believe it to be complimentary.

Thought question for the day – How many millions did the Cabinet Post picks contribute to the Trump campaign? Within a couple of million will be close enough for government work.

Assignment: Select a potential Cabinet member and write an essay titled “Why _____ is qualified to hold the position of ______ .”

Questions?

How long does the essay have to be? Long enough to cover the subject, so yes handing in a blank piece of paper with just the title will be sufficient. Yes, for extra credit you may address the entire cabinet and still turn in a tabla rasa for qualifications.

Class dismissed. I must see if my Rosetta Stone for learning Russian and Chinese has arrived.

moon-1-800x600

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged politics, President Elect Donald Trump, Sam Houston State Bearkats, sarcasm, satire, Trump's Cabinet picks

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.