Thursday, July 17, 2014
My sister doesn’t like it when I write about political topics. But sometimes, the Snark just slips out. Fair warning.
Dear Ms. Sarah Palin,
Please forgive the common, pedestrian greeting. Since you are the “one and done” governor of Alaska and the “one and none” Republican Vice Presidential winner, I did not know how to begin with the appropriate salutatory address. I thought ill-informed and agitator were a bit harsh and over used. I understand you are calling for the impeachment of the POTUS. How about we do some role playing? I will be Katie Couric and you can be you. Only this time, I will give you all of the questions ahead of time. And you may phone a friend, email a friend, text a friend and/or tweet a friend for any assistance you might seek. Question one. When you call for the impeachment of the President, are you representing the Republican Party or just those who like tea parties?
Now these next questions I got from one of my old 8th grade American history tests.
2. Where in the United States Constitution are impeachment proceedings addressed? Note: Page 456 in the back of the history book in not the correct answer.
3. For what reasons can the president be impeached? Note: Higher Order thinking skill – give an example of each one.
4 How many presidents of the United States have been impeached?
5. Can you give their names? What? Oh you know this? OK.Hmm. Sorry. While the number two is correct, the names are Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson. Richard Nixon resigned before impeachment proceedings could begin. I believe both of the impeached presidents were associated with Radical Republicans.
6. What is the constitutional definition of impeachment? No. It is not the removal from office. It is the bringing of charges for impeachment. FYI – No child under the age of 12 knew what a blowjob was until the Republicans impeached President Clinton.
7. Who originates the impeachment process? No, I’m sorry. The American people is incorrect.The House of Representatives brings charges of impeachment.
These next questions are from me.
8. What is the party majority in the United States Senate? The reason for this question regards the process following an impeachment verdict. The U. S. Senate tries the case and has the power to remove an individual from office.
9. Do you have any one in mind to serve as Special Prosecutor? I think the guy who was the special prosecutor in the Clinton trial works at a Baptist university in Texas. I know for a fact that he has really good seats for women’s and men’s basketball in the Ferrell Center. And at graduation he gets to lead all of the faculty and graduates into the Ferrell Center wearing this really, really big gold necklace. It is really cool. So I do not think you have much of a shot at getting him back.
10. Are you familiar with the constitutional term ‘”lame duck?” No, not an injured or crippled fowl.
11. How much do you estimate an impeachment trial would cost the tax payers during a lame duck term?
12. Are you aware that your name spelled backwards is Nilap Haras?
Get back to me when your handlers have prepped you with answers.
Former 8th grade American history school teacher
Cc Tina Fey and Amy Pohler