Friday, September 26, 2014
I am packed and I have my sack. More about the sack down the page. Since I am not sure what Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday will hold as to postings, I will leave a few items for thought and cogitation.
Captain Hairspray and The Enterprise Fund. His granting process for millions of dollars in state funds is “show up and if you are my friend and give me lots of campaign money, I will give you this grant with lots of money. Don’t worry about actually doing any work. We are not going to check on any of the funds.” Simple as that. No application. No review. Nada. Every state agency that had (has) a grant program knew you were not playing by the same rules and laws that you passed for us to follow regarding the dispersion of state grant funds. Oops! That’s right. I forgot “you are special.”
Texas Tech Uniforms – If Oregon shows up wearing yellow polka dot bikinis, it cannot be worse than your uniforms last evening against Oklahoma State University. It took me almost the first half to determine that, that Rorschach looking graphic on the one pants’ leg and one shoulder was the Red Raider on the horse seen from the front. But it was the helmets that moved the uniforms from bad to “the most butt ugly helmets I have seen.” It makes the Cincinnati Bengals helmets look like a fashion statement. I tried to determine what was actually on the side of the helmets, but every time I looked, I became nauseous. What were thinking Kingsbury? It looks as though a visually challenged five year old finger painted them. You are this week’s Ugly Uniform, hands down.
The Sack – when I was growing up in the sawmill town of Magnolia, there was a couple named Walter and Edna Seymour. They somewhat resembled a circus couple or cartoon characters because he was tall and skinny and wore cheap black ill-fitting suits and she was short and fat and truly did not have a neck. Her head kinda set to one side as though there were a birth defect. He looked like Ichabod Crane. Edna looked like a short, fat lady in a flour sack dress, which she was. No one was sure what Robert did for employment. Even though my mother thought they were “strange”, they seemed nice and were friendly and attended our church sometimes. Actually, I think they attended all five churches in Magnolia especially if there was food. They had one child who was in high school when they lived at the sawmill. Looking back, I feel certain he was either adopted or found on their door step. But everyone began to notice that everywhere Robert Seymour went, he carried a paper sack. He carried it to Lion’s Club, to church, to the post office and all over the place. He was never seen without his sack. Thus began speculation of “what does Robert carry in his sack?” Like the purring Queen Elizabeth II and her purse, we never did determine what Walter carried. We decided though that it was probably food. A lunch or snacks. So the last thing my mother or father would say prior to us leaving to go someplace was “Do you have your sack?” Well, I do have my Walter Seymour sack. He was actually way ahead of his time. Everybody carries a sack today. They just look prettier that brown paper and are called purses and backpacks and manbags.
And last here is the chorus of a song by Phil Harris. I think The Preacher and the Bear is perfect for going to Alaska.
“Oh Lord, you delivered Daniel from lion’s den; also delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then, The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace so the Good Book do declare. Oh Lord if you can’t help me, for goodness sakes, don’t help that bear!”
Phil Harris Preacher and the Bear Video