Monthly Archives: September 2014

Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday, September 26, 2014

I am packed and I have my sack. More about the sack down the page. Since I am not sure what Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday will hold as to postings, I will leave a few items for thought and cogitation.

Captain Hairspray and The Enterprise Fund. His granting process for millions of dollars in state funds is “show up and if you are my friend and give me lots of campaign money, I will give you this grant with lots of money. Don’t worry about actually doing any work. We are not going to check on any of the funds.” Simple as that. No application. No review. Nada.  Every state agency that had (has) a grant program knew you were not playing by the same rules and laws that you passed for us to follow regarding the dispersion of state grant funds. Oops! That’s right. I forgot “you are special.”

Texas Tech Uniforms – If Oregon shows up wearing yellow polka dot bikinis, it cannot be worse than your uniforms last evening against Oklahoma State University. It took me almost the first half to determine that, that Rorschach looking graphic on the one pants’ leg and one shoulder was the Red Raider on the horse seen from the front. But it was the helmets that moved the uniforms from bad to “the most butt ugly helmets I have seen.”  It makes the Cincinnati Bengals helmets look like a fashion statement. I tried to determine what was actually on the side of the helmets, but every time I looked, I became nauseous.  What were thinking Kingsbury? It looks as though a visually challenged five year old finger painted them.  You are this week’s Ugly Uniform, hands down.

The Sack – when I was growing up in the sawmill town of Magnolia, there was a couple named Walter and Edna Seymour. They somewhat resembled a circus couple or cartoon characters because he was tall and skinny and wore cheap black ill-fitting suits and she was short and fat and truly did not have a neck. Her head kinda set to one side as though there were a birth defect. He looked like Ichabod Crane. Edna looked like a short, fat lady in a flour sack dress, which she was. No one was sure what Robert did for employment. Even though my mother thought they were “strange”, they seemed nice and were friendly and attended our church sometimes. Actually, I think they attended all five churches in Magnolia especially if there was food. They had one child who was in high school when they lived at the sawmill.  Looking back, I feel certain he was either adopted or found on their door step. But everyone began to notice that everywhere Robert Seymour went, he carried a paper sack. He carried it to Lion’s Club, to church, to the post office and all over the place.  He was never seen without his sack.  Thus began speculation of “what does Robert carry in his sack?”  Like the purring Queen Elizabeth II and her purse, we never did determine what Walter carried.  We decided though that it was probably food. A lunch or snacks.  So the last thing my mother or father would say prior to us leaving to go someplace was “Do you have your sack?”  Well, I do have my Walter Seymour sack. He was actually way ahead of his time. Everybody carries a sack today.  They just look prettier that brown paper and are called purses and backpacks and manbags.

And last here is the chorus of a song by Phil Harris. I think The Preacher and the Bear is perfect for going to Alaska.

“Oh Lord, you delivered Daniel from lion’s den; also delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale and then, The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace so the Good Book do declare. Oh Lord if you can’t help me, for goodness sakes, don’t help that bear!”


Phil Harris Preacher and the Bear Video;_ylt=A0LEVz8dfCVUb5cAmx1XNyoA;_ylc=X1MDMjc2NjY3OQRfcgMyBGZyA3lmcC10LTkwMS1zBGdwcmlkA2g5ZUl3NlQxUndXNlVCa1NqcUxZTUEEbl9yc2x0AzAEbl9zdWdnAzIEb3JpZ2luA3NlYXJjaC55YWhvby5jb20EcG9zAzAEcHFzdHIDBHBxc3RybAMEcXN0cmwDMzMEcXVlcnkDcGhpbCBoYXJyaXMgcHJlYWNoZXIgYW5kIHRoZSBiZWFyBHRfc3RtcAMxNDExNzQyNzc2?p=phil+harris+preacher+and+the+bear&fr2=sb-top-search&fr=yfp-t-901-s&fp=1



Thursday, September 25, 2014 – Part 2

Thursday, September 25, 2014

It is practice test Thursday. Please pay attention because this might be on the tests that show what STAARS will be in your future depending upon how well you score. Today, we will be working on higher order thinking skills and doing word problems.

Two trains, each going 55 mph leave New York and San Francisco… No wait. That is not it.

This is it. At departure time in Texas, on Friday, the temperature will be in the high 80’s or low 90’s. At arrival time in Anchorage, it will be around 28 degrees. How does one adequately prepare for arrival at midnight in Anchorage, Alaska? Remember school funding is based on “equal and adequate” instruction and facillities.  Other factors that may influence your calculations are: we only have to get from airport to hotel about a 7 minute car ride.  But be sure to factor in “getting to the gate” at Bush Airport – That means security checks. Therefore at some point off come belts, hats and shoes and anything else needed to show I am OK to get on the airplane. Do you see the conundrum? (The conundrum regarding temperature, not the conundrum that you do not know what conundrum means.) At one place I need to have on as few clothes as possible, but on the other end of the trip, I need to have on way more clothes.  Please describe how you would address this problem in 250 words or less. Be sure to diagram your thought processes.

Problem 2

Reverse the dilemma going from cold temperatures and returning back to Houston where it is warm.

While you are thinking (and diagramming) tonight Texas Tech travels to Stillwater to meet with real cowboys in a Big 12 match-up. Those from Oklahoma State University. I texted the family member who is an alum of OSU asking if she had frozen her tortillas yet in order to throw at the visiting opponent. This will make Tech feel at home.  Her reply – No, we have class. Go Pokes!

Time’s up. What is your response to our practice questions? That is correct; you only needed a few words. Use a backpack.

Thursday September 25, 2014 – Part I

There will be a slight delay so check back after lunch. 🙂

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

I don’t know if it was when I was in the camping department or the fishing department at Academy when I turned into my father, Honeyboy. I was pretty much on the way to thinking as he would when I wondered if I should take another flashlight on my trip. And then I came to recall some of his hunting stories and items he carried. So before I knew it, I had a compass, a second flashlight and a whistle in my basket. But it was not until I bought a watch that I really turned into Honeyboy.  See these two watches?

Watches 2014-09-23 004 (800x600)


Yes, I have these and about a dozen more belonging to various people. But when he visited my sister when she and her husband were in San Francisco, he was not able to keep track of the time change between Texas and California. So he purchased the second, almost identical Timex (takes a licking and keeps on kicking) watch to the one he had on his wrist.  I believe he wore them at the same time, correct, Dale? Well, here’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I did not want to wear my good (very good) watch in the event of loss.  So here’s my $10.00 watch and I’m wearing with Alaska time.

Watches 2014-09-23 007 (800x600)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

NORTH! To Alaska! You go North; the rush is on.  Big Sam left Seattle in the year of ninety-two…” The trivia questions today are: Who sang that song? And for extra credit, who played Big Sam in the movie of the same name? I don’t know what year left Big Sam left Seattle, but I am leaving Seattle going North to Alaska in the year of 2014! I leave Friday for Alaska to take advantage of an unbelievable opportunity to go on a once in a life-time adventure. While I am going to have the opportunity to visit my sister, I am also going fly fishing.  I had no idea fish even flew, or that one could fish while flying, but Alaska is the Last Frontier, so there could be many things Where the Wild Things Are and this is definitely a Bucket List high priority item.  In looking at the map and planning day trips, I see that Wasilla is north of Anchorage and we will be travelling south.  I was hoping to see Russia from former governor Pallin’s house, but maybe I can see it from the hotel.  The good news is I have boots, wool hats, gloves and socks.  The bad news is I look like I am on Duck Dynasty.  If I put on my fleece facemask, which is black and covers all but my eyes, I look like someone that Homeland Security will stop for questioning. But at the moment I am off to Academy because I forgot to buy hand warmers. I wonder if they sell bear repellent here or if I will need to purchase upon arrival?  Johnny Horton sang North to Alaska and John Wayne played Big Sam McCord with Stewart Granger playing “…with George Pratt, his partner,” and with Fabian playing “…and brother Billy too.”


Monday, September, 22, 2014

Monday, September 22, 2014

Welcome to the Monday after Saturday Here’s What I’m Thinking College Football Awards for Week Four.

The most post scored award goes to Michigan State for scoring 73 points against East Michigan. However, Wisconsin scored 68 against Boling Green; Georgia righted itself with 66 against Troy and my beloved Aggies scored 58 against SMU High School.

Of course the best play of the day was made by the cadet who saved Reveille. It has made all of the national news feeds. Watch it on YOUTUBE in yesterday’s post. Way to go, DUDE. You are as famous on campus as Kenny Hill. If you think the Corps of Cadets would draw swords in remembrance of SMU running on to Kyle Field, get even near the First Lady and the entire Aggie nation will draw swords.

Since there are really only 10 schools in the Big 12 Conference, many did not play this week. Like Baylor, Texas, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State.  There is really no math involved in that, just a number factoid. So awards from the Big 12 go to:

Yea! You Won One – Kansas

The What Opportunities – Kansas State vs Auburn

OU – Oh MY! The I-35 schools should pay attention Sooner rather than later.

The William Blake Tiger, Tiger Burning Not so Bright Award is a three way tie between Missouri, LSU and Clemson – all Tigers who were upset.

The Alma Mater of Bullwinkle the Moose – Whatsamatta U? Award goes to LSU because “Whatsamatta with YOU?”

The Oregon Ducks receive the Weekly Ugly Uniform Award as usual, but also win the Almost Got Leached Award by winning by only one touchdown against Washington State. Never thought I would be pulling for Mike Leach.

Florida wins the Tide Rolling over Willie and the Gator Boys Award. What is the temperature of the coaching seat, Coach Muschamp?

And the last awards are The Ron White Can’t Fix Stupid Award and the “S-U-S-P-E-N-D, Find out what it means to me; S-U-S-P-E-N-D; Take out the E-N-D.”  These two awards go to Jameis Winston for suiting up and practicing pre game warm ups when he was suspended for the entire game. His coach and Florida State University share in these awards because Jimbo had to tell Winston to get off the field and stay on the sidelines. Being suspended means you do not play.  In my opinion, he should never have been allowed at the game and should have spent the time doing community service in a church where he can learn some manners. And that “E-N-D” should be to his college career.  I hope you get a case of chronic jock itch, JW.

But alas, the four play is over and the season begins. No more cream puff schools. No more Division II Schools.  It is time for the big boys to play. Everybody loves bacon. Even vegetarians slip in a slice of bacon now and then. Let’s hope the Aggies bring home the bacon against Arkansas on Saturday.  But those cowbells in Starkville are looming on the horizon for a Clash of the maroons.  It is going to get interesting now. However, first – BTHO Arkansas.

Sunday – September 21, 2014

Best Play of the Texas A&M/SMU Game–gif-221859207.html



Friday, September 19, 2014

Friday September 19, 2014

I guess it was the Queen staying in her castle in Scotland that did it.  The Scots voted no to independence from Great Britain. But on to the top story in the Brazos Valley – Reveille VII is retiring at the end of this year. Hopefully it is after the bowl games. I kid you not. It was the top news story yesterday. Not rain or floods or terrorists, but the First Lady of Aggieland. She even overshadowed Captain Hairspray and the others dedicating a new health building. Reveille will go the Old Animal Farm on the A&M campus. There are no health issues, but she is nine years old. Initially, the news said she was “just going to be a dog,” but Twitter sphere exploded with “Reveille will NEVER be ‘just a dog.’” She will remain at the farm until a family from Bryan or College Station adopts her. I will rent some children if I can adopt her. But there is a 12 (does A&M know any other number?) person committee who will conduct “a nation-wide search” for Reveille VIII.

It is another creampuff football weekend. Baylor and Texas have the week end off. Texas A&M plays SMU. I am certain a debate held between the two Bush Libraries will be more interesting than the game. I hope Clemson beats Florida State. We will see what vulgarities Jameis Winston has to scream while sitting out the first half of the game.  You can take the player out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the player. The best game will be Mississippi State and LSU, both Aggie opponents. So here’s to the weekend. Stay dry.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday, September 18, 2014

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose; Nothing ain’t worth nothing, but it’s free.”  Those lines are the chorus of what classic song? Extra points for naming the singer and double extra points if you can name the songwriter.   A hint – both are from Texas. And I think you should know this because I think I have used it as an opening before. I do not know if the Scots are singing this while waiting in in line at the polls. Scotland is voting today whether to go it alone or stay with England as part of the United Kingdom.  It is a most controversial issue. Even Queen Elizabeth has gone to stay in her castle in Scotland. I suppose her sheer presence in the country will help swing the vote to the English. I am not seeing Liz passing out flyers at the polling places.  After this many years of revolutions against British rule, I suppose England can learn from its history of other freedom experiences.  For example, the United States, formerly known as The Colonies, fought a war for its independence.  The English starved the Irish to death, but the Irish would not go away.  Then there is India, with the black Hole of Calcutta, tea and cricket leaving a lasting legacy.  But if Scotland votes to become an independent country, what will happen to the United Kingdom?  Will it be England, Wales and Northern Ireland?  The Trio of Protestants? Will it just be The Kingdom? I suppose we will wait for the vote. Meanwhile, Janis Joplin from Port Arthur sang the song and Kris Kristofferson, the songwriter, is from Brownsville.  Maybe Kristofferson can pen a new national anthem if the Scots separate from England. Maybe Me and Bobby McGee will be the national anthem!  I like it. It has a certain Scottish ring to it. Here’s to freedom.

Wednesday September 17, 2014

Wednesday September 17, 2014

BORING BORING BORING. It is a boring day.  Every news feed is talking about the NFL abuse issue or the college abuse issue.  Suspend Winston if he cannot behave. Just because he won a Heisman Trophy does not make him exempt from saying inappropriate comments.  He was pretty sketchy when he won. Here’s what I’m thinking – you do not beat up people or say ugly things about them. Say nothing that addresses gender, race, religion, creed, color, ability, or anything else about someone or a situation.  Just because you are a great football player does not make you a decent person.  So Jimbo, I suggest you sit his butt out for the entire game. Then make him write a paper on how to behave like a compassionate human being. Make it 500 words in length and he cannot return to play until his essay is completed, graded and he obtains at least a C minus.  So on this boring day, I am waiting for the rain to fall. It rains much more here in the Brazos Valley that it did in Austin. BORING BORING BORING.