Category Archives: Coach Kevin Sumlin

Monday, September 10, 2018 – Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 10, 2018 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 10, 2018 – Monday After College Football Awards

Goodness gracious, great balls of football. As I mentioned last Friday the only game of significance was in Kyle Field between Clemson and Texas A&M. It was worth waiting for all day.

Before we get to that game there are a few other schools to receive awards. May I have the envelopes, please?

The Where’s the Defense Award goes to all of the schools that beat their opponent by 40 points or more. That was pretty much everybody of interest.

The Finally Award goes to Kentucky for finally beating Florida 27 to 16. Of course, I like any team that beats Florida.

The You Have to Play Four Quarters Award goes to THE University of Texas for allowing Tulsa to stay in the game. Yes, The Horns are back – back to just like last year and the year before that and … Texas 28 Tulsa 21. Pre Snarky Friday – Memories will not suffice for USC next Saturday.

The You Can’t Go Home Again Award goes to Coach Kevin Sumlin and the Arizona Wildcats. University of Houston 45 Arizona 18.

The most awards goes to the teams and coaches in the best game of the week.

The Poopy Undies and Where’s the Defibulator Awards goes to the Clemson Tigers and the Texas Aggies. These awards are presented to both teams for scaring the fan bases and creating needs for CPR.

The Decibel Doubting Dabo Award goes to Clemson coach, Dabo Swinny for doubting the decibel level of The 12th Man in Kyle Field would make a difference.

The Exploding Head Coach Award goes to Jimbo Fisher for screaming at the officiating crew from the Stevie Wonder School for Referring Controversy. Yes, there were bad calls on both teams, but the two worst (no flag on Clemson pass interference and then the turnover costing pylon call) were difference makers.

The Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile or Your Father’s Aggies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies. Time definitely ran out before victory could be achieved.

The Danger, Danger, Will Robinson Award goes to the rest of the SEC from The Fighting Texas Aggies.

Happy Monday!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, college football, Education, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Clemson, The University of Texas

Friday, August 24, 2018 – The Snark Officially Arrives

Posted on August 24, 2018 | 1 comment

Friday, August 24, 2018 – The Snark Officially Arrives

How many schools were mentioned in yesterday’s HWIT? While you are thinking, I shall Snark Onward through the Fog.

But let’s back up. Santino Marchiol – a redshirt freshman who transferred to Arizona in June claims Texas A&M mishandled his ankle injury, provided money for recruits on unofficial visits and ran summer workouts that exceeded the maximum time allowed. The NCAA is investigating.

Marchiol played his senior season at IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida. It is a private boarding school for athletes to improve their abilities in various sports such as tennis, soccer, golf and lacrosse. It fielded its first American football (as opposed to soccer) team in 2013. Standard tuition for one year of boarding at IMG Academy is $68,500 plus a team sport competition and training gear fee that ranges from $3,750-$4,250 depending on the sport. A single semester costs $39,400.

Here’s what I’m thinking.

Dear Transfer Student Marchiol – AKA Whimp, Wuss and Lady Body part! Quit being an elitist whiney crybaby.

Just so you can transfer and play immediately without sitting out a year, you selfishly decided to try to throw your previous team under the bus. You took the money so that makes you complicit in your allegations.

Your claims include too long for practice sessions and films sessions exceeding the eight hours allowed a week by the NCAA. Did you have a stopwatch and were keeping time?

I do hope your transfer to Arizona is a better fit for you. I am glad you recognized that you are not tough enough to play for the Aggies or any school in the SEC. I really don’t think you could succeed at any school in the Big 12, ACC or a 6A high school team in Texas, Alabama or Georgia.

The Aggies have experienced teams under Kevin Sumlin. Even old ladies like me could have played linebacker better than some of Sumlin’s defenses. Good luck, especially in the fourth quarter. You may think it is hot in Florida or Texas, but you ain’t seen nothing like the heat of Arizona.

It seems to me that it is you versus the entire Aggie Nation. We shall see what you bring. However, those do not seem like good odds to me. Anyway, I hope you like Drake played during practices.

Sincerely,

The Snark

This weekend marks the first anniversary of Hurricane Harvey.

PS – Ten schools were mentioned. Texas A&M, Mississippi State, LSU, Arkansas, South Carolina, Florida, THE University of Texas, Baylor and Oklahoma State.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Santino Marchiol, sarcasm

Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

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Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

Since I only write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like, there are very few awards this Monday. This is due to the fact that almost all my teams lost in a most distressing and upsetting fashion.

Granted LSU is one of my teams, except when they play the Aggies. So Geaux Tigers.

In addition to Who’s In, the better question is Who’s Out? The Coaching Carousel Merry Go Round Award goes to Arkansas, Texas A&M, Arizona State, Mississippi State and others to follow. Florida, Ole Miss and UCLA hired new guys. Then Tennessee hired somebody, but then took it back. Is Jimbo Fisher really interested in Texas A&M? Maybe the entire coaching staffs from Austin Westlake or Lake Travis High School would be worth a look.

The Crappola Bowl Awards go to all of my teams who will be playing in bowl games with strange sponsors for a dinky trophy. This will give T-shirt manufactures job security.

The Iron Bowl Deficiency Award goes to the fans of Alabama.

The William T. Sherman Award goes to Auburn in hopes that the War Eagles will march through Georgia like Sherman to the Sea! But, I really do not care about either team. YUK.

The Best Hope for Texas Football Award goes to TCU. Please let TCU win the Big 12 Championship. Otherwise, the best college football teams in Texas are The University of North Texas and Sam Houston State University.

Thank goodness it is basketball season. How soon until March?

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, college basketball, College Football, Education, humor

Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

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Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

I must admit I did not watch a great deal of college football this weekend. But I did click around on some TV channels and tablet screens and of course have some comments. So Here’s what I’m Thinking.

Let’s start with the West Coast.

The Blue Field of Nightmares Award goes to Boise State. The uniforms were the same color as the blue football field. This is just wrong and should be banned by the NCAA because of possible seizure causings.

The Really Smart and Strange People Award goes to Cal and Stanford with the Cardinal (remember it’s a color, not a bird) winning 14 to 17. Is the Stanford Band still on probation?

The Last Minute Kick Award goes to the Washington Huskies defeating Utah 30 -33 as time expires. I like Utah because I like to use the quote from My Cousin Vinny regarding “the two yutes” or this case “the Utes.”

Moving to the Heartland we find…

The Pistol Pete Pooped Out Award goes to Oklahoma State for losing to Kansas State 40-45.

Our Anatomical Suggestive Bad Sportsmanship Award goes to quarterback Baker Mayfield of Oklahoma for suggesting that Kansas players perform an action unsuited for observation by the public.

Mayfield also receives the Do You Talk to Your Mother Like That? Award. I counted at least eight beeps. It probably will not hurt your Heisman chances, Baker, but you do not see Johnny Manziel or Jameis Winston in the Heisman Commercials. Stupid Heisman winners do not make the videos.

Moving South we find…

The Cakewalk Awards going to The Tide for demolishing Mercer 56-0 and to Auburn for similar scoring against UL Monroe 42-13 UL Monroe. At least we know where UL Monroe is located. Where the Hell is Mercer? Get ready for The Iron Bowl next Saturday. ROLL TIDE!

In anticipation of Thanksgiving game the LSU Tigers warmed up by beating Tennessee. That was some ugly colors on the TV. Faded is just a not a good color on anybody.

Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State handled Arkansas quite well, but then again, who doesn’t?

The only game I actually watched was The Fighting Aggies and their Defense defeat Ole Miss. A Big Solid Award goes to the Aggie defense. A True Big Solid Award goes to the Aggies Derrick Tucker for intercepting a pass and returning it for a touchdown. WHOOP!

And now a song for Thanksgiving…

Over the river and the through the swamp to Baton Rouge we go; The Ags know the way; we just have to play; to get a win today! Hey!

Over the river and through bayous to Death Valley Stadium we go; We’ve been there before, but this time is different; This time we win on the road, Hey!

Over the river and down Highway 10; the Aggie bus rolls true; For tis Thanksgiving Day and we just had to say Beat the Hell Out of LSU!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Thursday, November 16, 2017 – Snarky Football Thursday

Posted on November 16, 2017 | 1 comment

Thursday, November 16, 2017 – Snarky Football Thursday

I know it is Thursday and the Football Snark appears on Friday. But I must leave the country tomorrow and go to Austin. I am not at liberty to tell you where I am going in the Still Land of the Weird, but there will be metal detectors, secret service, no purses or backpacks, no phones allowed, you may have nothing your hands and your car keys will be returned to you as you exit. If still interested, check out Bookpeople.com and Friday’s event.

So the Snark arrives early and let us see what is happening Saturday in college football? Are you kidding me? What idiots at ESPN, ABC, CBS and SEC are in charge of programming and scheduling? There are nine football games at 11:00 am. Ten, if you count Clemson and The Citadel at 11; 20. Eight of those 11:00 AM games are Top 25 Ranked teams. Who is in charge of this? The intern from the Community College? Someone who hates football?

Who at ESPN thought Oklahoma and Kansas in prime time at 2:30 would be worth watching? Were you looking at a basketball schedule?

I am happy that Texas A&M University and The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) are schedule for 6:00 PM on ESPN2. Since the game will be played in Oxford, the Grove will be active all day with greetings of Howdy and Hotty Toddy as traditions for the visiting Aggie Former Students and the Ole Miss alums prepare as their teams play for pride; with glorious runs and plays, rousing cheers and bands of the grand times of glory playing with spirit until the victor leaves the field in honor and glory. (How was I doing? I was doing a Faulkner sentence.)

How about a little John Grisham? The contract lawyers at Texas A&M University and Florida State University poured over loop holes in their respective coaches’ contracts until the wee hours. The A&M Lawyers said “We must wait until the LSU game ends before we can make an offer to Jimbo Fisher.” The Florida State lawyer replied “Coach Fisher’s contract is valid until 2024 at $5.55 million per year. Is the university prepared to pay his buyout?” To be continued.

Meanwhile back in Oxford.

“Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!”

Hotty Toddy, my butt!

BTHO Ole Miss!

Lay those pennies and Lawrence Sullivan”s feet for strength and good luck and Gig’Em Aggies!.

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Posted in Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, humor, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Monday, November 13, 2017 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 13, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, November 13, 2017 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Goodness Gracious! Great Balls of Fire! What a college football weekend. There were blowouts and nail biters. Let us begin.

Every team and its fan base get an extra-large Poopy Undies Trophy. Even if one of your alma maters wins with 50+ points because it was that kind of season.

The I’ll Have Another Bloody Mary Award goes to LSU who at the unreasonable hour of 11:00 AM defeated Arkansas. What ESPN programming executive put LSU and Arkansas at 11:00 AM? Dude (or Dudettte) have you ever been to Baton Rouge or Louisiana? Even my relatives had only had a couple of drinks by that time. Nevertheless, Mike the Tiger did fry up some bacon.

Oklahoma State in a rallying thriller from Ames, Iowa come back to win over Iowa State. The Cowboys win the Believer Receiver Award for the interception in the end zone in the closing seconds of regulation.

Shifting to the afternoon…

The Somebody Called PETA Award goes to Auburn for beating the former # 1 ranked Georgia Bulldogs 40-17. Poor UGA!

Bevo and THE University of Texas were victorious over Kansas. Does it really count if you beat Kansas in football?

Koach Kliff and the Tortilla Throwers beat Baylor. Does it count if it’s Baylor?

Texas and Baylor both receive The Terminator Award because both schools should say “I’ll Be Back!”

And to the evening games…

In the Catholics and Convicts Redux Bowl (Google it) Miami (The U) beat the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. ND played like a team in the Nun’s Annual Sisters of the Poor Intermural Tournament. Therefore, the Irish win the Nun’s Annual Sisters of the Poor Intermural Tournament Trophy.

TCU receives The Endangered Frog Award. The OU Sooner Schooner left frog guts all along the Road to the Big 12 Championship game. Bedlam II in December???

In a thriller from Kyle Field Texas A&M defeated The University of New Mexico. FYI 55 to 14 is a thriller in Aggieland. Remember you must show up for the 4th Quarter. Remember UCLA?

Speaking of a true thrilling and exciting game we had the Alabama/Miss State. Both teams are awarded:

On The Edge of My Seat Award,

The Nail Biter Award,

Where Are My Salts? Award

The I Need Oxygen Award,

The I Bet BJ and J, Lisa and R and J and Big Sold Just Fainted Award

The Big Solid Cussing Award and

The I’m Exhausted Award.

Thank you both teams and schools for a thrilling show of SEC football. Please sign the soon to be released petition to change the name of The Iron Bowl Game to The QBs from Texas Game.

Turn in Friday as The Snark Returns and The Aggies Head to Oxford, Mississippi – Home of one of my literary heroes – William Cutbirth Faulkner.

This awards program was brought to you by The Volunteer, Twelfth Man, and Razorback Moving Company. Bon voyage to Butch at Tennessee, and soon to be part of the SEC Coaching Shakeups – Sumlin at TAMU and Bielema at Arkansas. Good luck to all of you. Sit down, Bus Driver, and drive the moving van.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Monday, November 6, 2017 – The Missing Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 7, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 6, 2017 – The Missing Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Full Moon, Time Change, Crazy People, Please Go Vote and pretend it is yesterday. Even though it is Tuesday, November 7.

Today’s program is sponsored by 12th Man Moving and a real estate agent in College Station, Texas.

The Fickle Finger of Football Fate Award goes to teams with State in their name. Oklahoma State, Ohio State, Penn State, NC State, Iowa State all lost. With the exceptions Mississippi State and Michigan State, it was a dismal weekend if State was in your name.

You also receive the Slip Sliding Away Award for sliding down the ranks bringing mid-level bowl offers.

The One in a Row Award goes to Baylor for its victory over Kansas in the Battle for Big 12 Conference Last Place. Kansas, I am giving you an Ugly Uniform Award. That was way too much bright red and bright blue. You looked like a United States map on election night.

THE University of Texas wins the Purple Reign Award losing to TCU.

Speaking of Purple Reign in Lubbock Texas Tech loses to Kansas State in OT.

The Tide rolled through LSU as they get ready for some big time football with Georgia and Auburn on the horizon. Love you, Jalen. Do you Bama Fans realize the Iron Bowl QBs are both from Texas?

And now good news and bad news from The Land of Perennial Football Disappointments, College Station, Texas.

First the bad news – The Texas Aggie football team still has three football games left to play. New Mexico, Ole Miss, and LSU. The Aggies must win one to become eligible for a bowl game no one has ever heard of nor cares about. HWIT, How about Texas A&M and Texas Tech in The Hot Seat Bowl sponsored by Mayflower Moving Company? Bret Bielema from Arkansas can call the game because he’ll probably be out of work too.

More bad news – Sumlin’s contract buy out is $10 million. I feel confident that a GoFundMe page will not be necessary. Pretty sure the big maroon checkbooks have already put the money in the bank.

Now the good news. The Texas A&M Women’s Soccer Team won the SEC Tournament.

Further good news; tip off for Texas Aggie Women’s Basketball was last night.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, college basketball, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Posted on November 3, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

My apologies for bloggus interruptus this week. Sometimes life gets in the way. Therefore, I have not been able to conduct the extensive research that I do to prepare for today. That really just means I have not looked at the ESPN app.

Good grief, Charlie Brown! Who programmed all of these games at 11:00 AM? I want names.

At the horrible hour of 11:00 AM, one can watch Penn State and Michigan State on Fox or Wisconsin and Indiana on ABC. Mississippi State is playing UMass on the SECN.

From the plains of Lubbock we have Kansas State visiting Texas Tech on FS 1. This should prove to a regular tortilla flinging contest.

In a game of Not Worthy for TV Coverage, Baylor and Kansas play for pride with hopes not to finish the Big 12 Conference Standings in DAL (Dead Ass Last). Basketball officially begins next week.

The 11:00 game of interest is on ESPN between Auburn and the Texas Aggies. Join me and other Former Students of Texas A&M University as we begin the Kevin Sumlin Farewell Tour. When we pay you large sums of money, we want more than a Fair-Well team. Even an upset will not save your seat, Coach.

Dear Coach Saban, is there anyone on your payroll that is ready for a head coaching position? Is there a way Texas A&M can clone you, Sir?

Coach Dabo? You got any one ready and prepped? Anybody at Ohio State? Wisconsin? Austin Westlake HS? Lake Travis High School?

At 2:30 ESPN2 brings us Iowa State and West Virginia. Are you serious? Iowa State is leading the Big 12? That ain’t right.

On CBS we have Georgia and South Carolina. That UGA dog is getting some serious committee notice. Like Baylor and Kansas, SC can also look forward to basketball season.

Stanford and Washington State are on Fox and Clemson and NC State are on ABC. West Coast crazy people versus East Coast crazy people.

The game of interest for the afternoon is BEDLAM! In Stillwater on FS1 with Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State. Go POKES! This should be a quarterback extravaganza.

Now we prepare for the evening games and the time change. As if 11:00 football games do not mess us up enough!

This one could be good one and hopefully knock Iowa State out of the Big 12 lead. At 6:15 THE University of Texas and TCU kick off on ESPN live from Amon G. Carter Stadium. This could be a defining win for Bevo and the Boys.

BJ and J and Lisa and Rick, please forgive me but I got to go with DNA and family when Alabama and LSU kick off on CBS at 7:00.

Don’t forget to set your clocks BACK one hour before you go to bed or fall asleep during these two West Coast games.

Oregon and Washington FS1 9:00 and Arizona and USC ESPN 9:45.

Meanwhile, it’s Maroon Out in Kyle Field for Auburn so let’s hump it Ags and

BTHO Auburn!!!

Technical difficulties are preventing pictures. Probably Russian hackers.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, college basketball, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Friday, October 27, 2017 – Snarky Friday – Go Astros!

Posted on October 27, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 27, 2017 – Snarky Friday – Go Astros!

It is time for Snarky Friday as we prepare for Saturday college football. Saturday football begins with those teams chosen by ESPN Family, the SECN and ABC for the following games at 11:00.

Arkansas and Ole Miss fight a fierce battle for DAL (Dead Ass Last) Place in the SEC West. I will have a side of bacon with my Hotty Toddy God Aw Mighty… See this coaching seat heat up for Bret Bielema on SECN.

Oklahoma State and West Virginia. Dear Pistol Pete, Please win so the Mountaineers will not set fire to couches as is their tradition when they win. And please no comments on Gundy’s Mullet. Watch this on ABC.

But the best morning game coming to you live from beautiful McLane Stadium, just North on I-35 in Waco, Texas, we find the eager Texas Longhorns and the Baylor Bears on ESPNU. I hope the Texas team left today. You know how traffic is on I-35. Sic ‘Em Bears! If you can only win one game this season, pray for a miracle upon the Brazos that it is this one.

The 2:30 programming window brings in the Fox and CBS networks and gives us more games.

Assuming West Virginia has not set fire to Morgan Town and ABC does not have to cover the town burning down, Iowa State and TCU kick off on ABC. You just never know about Iowa State. Go Frogs.

Penn State and Ohio State on Fox – This is the Impress the Soon to Meet Voting Committee Game. I feel confident Penn State will not win best uniform award. Be prepared for booth mouths to discuss “What is a Nittany Lion?”

Georgia and Florida on CBS – Is this Biggest Cocktail Party? Or is the Biggest Cocktail Party now the entire SEC conference?

On ABC at 7:00 in the I Really Do not Care Game we find Oklahoma and Tortilla Tech. Too bad the game is not in Lubbock. I feel certain Baker would love to plant the OU flag on the 50 yard line for this one.

And then it is Saturday Night! Where are my salts? I feel certain I will more than the usual weekend Dilly Dilly to get through the night with these two events.

The Astros will be playing Game Four of the World Series hopefully with a 2-1 lead over the Dodgers.

On ESPN at 6:15 it will be maroons against maroons when the Bulldogs of Mississippi State and Texas A&M kick off in Kyle Field. I hope Bully and the team have a good time while visiting, but not as good as the last time you were here. Note to John Chavis: In case you forgot, Nicki Fitz can run. Remember: Aggies are wearing jerseys with glow in the dark markings (marketings?). See you at Yell Practice. It is midnight somewhere.

Let us close with a sports’ prayer.

Please Lord, do not let anybody get hurt.

Please do not let Mack Brown announce anything or be near a microphone.

Please do not let Pam – aka That Screechy Woman- announces the Texas A&M versus Mississippi State game or any other game I am watching.

Please give Joe Buck a bad case of Houston allergies and the inability to speak for at least a week.

Please remind all of the Booth Mouths they are to call the football game, not to second guess the referees, the coaches, the band, the doctors, the fans, the hot dogs, the mascots, the traditions or anything else that comes out of their mouths that displays their lack of doing their homework and their overall ignorance.

Let them know that it is obvious between those who actually played the game and those who took broadcasting classes with football as book learning only.

Please silence them when they begin a sentence with “When I played/coached…”

Please do not allow this referring crew in Kyle Field.

And last, Lord, BTHO Mississippi State. Amen.

Go Astros.

12th Man Statue. Photo by me.

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Posted in Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, humor, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on October 16, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!