Tag Archives: Roll Tide

January 1, 2017 – HAPPY NEW YEAR! The First Day of the New Year.

Posted on January 1, 2017 | 1 comment

January 1, 2017 – HAPPY NEW YEAR! The First Day of the New Year.

“Staring down a greasy taco plate; bowl of menudo on the side… We were drinking and swinging from the chandeliers…” Ah once upon a time, but no more, but thank you Roger Creager for the memories.

Before I get to my 2017 Predictions, I wanted to share a few really cool gifts I received for Christmas. This first one came totally unexpected. I like those so much – especially when the gift is spot on!

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While the giver knows my love for cameras, what the giver does not know is that this scency is a replica of the first camera I ever learned to use at Magnolia High School in 1966-67. Imagine this happening today. The Conroe Courier gave every yearbook editor in Montgomery County one of these very expensive cameras to use for the year provided we attended a Saturday morning class on how to use it.

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Yes, photography peeps, they trusted a group of teenagers with state of the art, news reporter quality, Leica lens cameras. We were to use the camera to take photographs of school events – aka football games! Such good memories and I am going to be hitting my house with the smell good in 2017.

I liked this too. Angry Mama to clean your microwave.

mad-mama-576x1024As dirty as my microwave is she will probably explode the first time she tries to clean mine. I wonder if she comes in an Angry Mama to clean your house.

Here is a favorite. I got this combination science and magic kit. It seems that the elixir on the left has magic potions of St Belvedere. When poured properly into the magic beaker on the right, the perfect tini temperature is achieved. vodka-576x1024

I cannot wait to try it. It was gift from Pootie and Russians to commemorate taking Poland in 1945.

And now my 2017 New Year’s Day Predictions – just for the first month or so.

Donald Trump will be sworn in via Twitter.

All of the Kardashians and their exes will perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration. I don’t know what they are going to do. What they always do, I suppose, nothing, but dress up and post their photos in Instagram.

Kate McKinnon and Alex Baldwin will not perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration, but will continue to make us laugh on SNL. So love you, Kate!

Rick Perry will lead the dancing at the Inaugural Ball for President Donald and First Lady Melanoma.

Donald Trump and Vlad Putin (aka Pootie) will dance via distance learning a Bromance line dance like Cossacks that creates a viral meme at 3:00 am in the morning. Warning: Putin will be shirtless.

Dancing with the Stars will once again bring us in high definition broken down, old stars, and never heard of before people trying to learn to dance while wearing sequins and feathers.

On January 9, 2017, from Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida for the National College Athletic Association Division FBS 2017 National Championship, invented by Larry Culpepper, we have the Crimson Tide from Alabama versus the Tigers of Clemson from South Carolina. Sidebar: Thank goodness the announcers are the always professional team of Chris Fowler, Samantha Ponder, Tom Rinaldi and my boyfriend want to be, Kirk Herbstreit. Can’t wait for ESPN Game Day this fall. Please come back to Aggieland. And my prediction: ROLLLLLLLL TIDE! Like I even know anybody who even claims they went to Clemson and I don’t like orange in any shade.

Dak, Eskielle and The Boys will win Super Bowl LI (what number is this in Roman?) in Houston in NRG Stadium – home of the Houston Texans. Houston and Texan fans will hate Dallas and The Cowboys even more. Hey! For you non-native born Texans – It’s about oil ya’ll. Football is just a hobby to show off.

Time to go have science experiment, practice Russian and eat black eyed peas and cornbread. Happy New Year’s Day!

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Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

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Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Posted on September 16, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Let’s begin with last evening’s tryouts for the Big 12 Conference. Our contest was between the University of Houston and WKRP in Cincinnati. I vote no to Cincinnati. While those really creepy black masks will go very well in parts of Texas and especially in Lubbock, are Cincinnati and the state of Ohio aware that Texas is an open carry state for handguns? Wearing masks is frowned up and tends to lead to unwanted unpleasantries in states where we are packing heat.

My second reason to vote no were those migraine causing flapping black and white tube things. This is equal to the obnoxious cowbells from Mississippi State and the seizure causing blue football field of Boise State. UH Cougars 40 WKRP Cincinnati Bearkats 16, but much closer than the score indicates.

Tonight we shall be treated to an old Southwest Conference rivalry – Baylor and Rice at Rice Stadium @ 7:00 on ESPN. Beware of the MOB, Bears. You have lots of garbage of which the Marching Owl Band can make fun.

# 1 Alabama and # 19 Ole Miss 2:30 CBS – The Tide Rolls into The Grove in Oxford. This could prove to be a game requiring multiple toddies. Coach Sabin does not want to lose for a third time to the Rebels. John and BJ and Lisa and Ric and Hopper, please know virtual CPR and breathing exercises are available via texts. I shall expect the same at 6:00 against Auburn. Roll Tide.

What programming idiots scheduled these games at the same time? I will have carpel thumb syndrome from the remote. Set those TIVOs to record.

Texas A&M and Auburn at 6:00 ESPN at Auburn. Aubie is the official tiger mascot of Auburn University. According to Wikipedia “Aubie is an anthropomorphic tiger.” Reveille IX is the mascot of Texas A&M. Reveille is a real collie. Rev 3 (800x600)

I don’t know what anthropomorphic means other than it sounds like Aubie can’t go to the bathroom in North Carolina. BTHO Auburn.

Mississippi State and LSU at 6:30 on ESPN2 in Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge. This could be a For Whom the Cow Bells Toll. I am thinking the Tigers better bring their A game. Otherwise those obnoxious cowbells will be running Miles down the road.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Ohio State and OU 6:30 Fox – Lots of red, white and grey for this one. And that is just the wine list and vodka suggestion. Seeds and Sooners in Norman.

Michigan State and Notre Dame at 6:30 on the Notre Dame Network, NBC. I shall anxiously await your texts, Mr. RL. Go Spartans!

USC and #7 Stanford at 7 on ABC. Trojans versus Cardinal. Big rivalry at stake in the Pac 12. I am going with the brainiacs.

THE University of Texas and California Berkley at 9:30 on ESPN. Bevo and the Bears. Still courting the PAC 12, Texas? Hook ‘Em Hippies! Longhorn Band (800x600)

BTHO Auburn.

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Monday, September 12, 2016 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 12, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 12, 2016 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

I must admit that I did not watch as much college football as I usually do. Instead I attended a benefit for a high school friend aka a Still Magnolia. In the grand scheme of life I think friends are more important than football.

Nevertheless, The Buzzard Award goes to the referring crew who blew the call on the Oklahoma State – Central Michigan game. The play was dead and Central Michigan should not have had an opportunity to even try a Hail Mary with a lateral to score. OSU 27 Central Michigan 30. Referees zero. The referees also win The Suspension Bridge Award to celebrate their suspension.

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The Tide continues to Roll at the number one spot of the polls. I regret I was not able to see Coach Sabin’s head explode live and in real time. I am awarding you instead of the usual Willie Muschamp, the Exploding Head Coach Award. Didn’t you just hire that guy you were giving an old fashioned ass chewing?

2. Florida State – Do Not Care (DNC) at this time

3. Ohio State – DNC – I do not like those funny, pot looking leafy things on your helmets.

4. Michigan – DNC yet. So just Big Chill out.

5. Clemson wins The Helen of Troy Award. Just a touchdown shy of a beautiful upset. Troy 24 Clemson 30.

6. Houston – Shasta is looking pretty scary. Houston wins the Domino Pizza Award for shutting out Lamar 42-0. More dominoes to fall before Shasta is happy.

7. Stanford – Brainiacs had to study.

8.Washington – DNC but I will award you the Potato Award for your victory over Idaho 59-14.

9.Wisconsin – Onward Thru the Fog Wisconsin Award for the Badger win over Akron. 54-10

10.Louisville – I award Louisville the Funny Fluffy Orange Thing Award for its 62-28 win over Syracuse.

Otto the Orange

THE University of Texas – The Horns win the Remain Calm and Carry On Strong Award. Let’s remember you played UTEP and won 41-7, but there are several teams who have their eyes on The Eyes of Texas – like all of the Big 12.

Michigan State – DNC

Iowa – DNC

Oklahoma – The Sooners win A Duck Dynasty Camo award for a 50-17 win over UL Monroe.

Tennessee – The Vols over the Hokies of Va. Tech 45 to 24. DNC until Oct 8. Bring on Rocky Top and see how the Stands of Kyle sway.

Georgia – Did UGA go to sleep? The Dawgs win the Poo Poo Undies Award for surviving a scare from Nicholls 26-24. Nicholls, you win The Gumbo Award as the Boys from Thibeaux scared the poo out of the Dawgs.

Texas A&M – Great sideline coaching uniforms and great helmets to remember and honor September 11. Aggies win Best Uniform and Helmet Award. It was definitely a cupcake win over Prairie View at 67-0. Blinn was not available that weekend and PVA&M brings a larger student body and better band. From what I heard, PV also brings great fans. Aggies win the 12th Man Award because women’s basketball team and the Aggie Band were about to suit up and play the last quarter. Aggies are also awarded the William Blake, Tiger Tiger Burning Bright Watch Award as the bus travels to Auburn next Saturday.

Notre Dame – 39 to 10 over Nevada. Touchdown Jesus and Hail Mary full of Desert Award to the Irish.

Mississippi – Hotty Toddy win over Wofford. The Rebels win The Cupcake Award of the Week. Wofford? A private liberal arts college? What toddy goes with a cupcake?

LSU 34 – Jacksonville State 13. LSU wins the Frost Award because it has Miles to go before he sleeps. Tigers also win the You Better Step it up a Notch Award if you expect to win the SEC.

Baylor – Who picked the uniforms for you this week? Fifty-shades of Gray in Waco is not your color. Bears win Ugly Uniform Award for the week. The Baptists win over the SMU Methodists. Bears still need more than pony up for the Big 12.

Oregon – Who did you play? Oh yeah Virginia. Oregon wins the Cavalier Duck Award 44-26.

Florida – Really Don’t Care

Arkansas – The Baconators win The Purple Phrog Eaters Award for it double OT victory of TCU.

Miami – Really, super don’t care.

A few others of interest.

South Carolina 14 Miss. State 27. Uncle Will Muschamp wins the Erectile Dysfunction Award. It could a while before the Game Cocks rise again.

Stephen F Austin 30 Western Alabama 24 – Ax ‘Em Jacks! Can’t wait for the Battle of the Big Thicket!

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Thursday, August 4, 2016 – Not the Only One Ready for Football

Posted on August 4, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I guess I am not the only one ready for some college football. Loved all of the snarky responses yesterday. Here are my responses to your responses:

Stephen F. Austin State – Alma mater to degree # 1. Ax ‘Em Jacks. “Oh future bright, neath the purple and white, all hail to SFA…”

Ax'Em Jacks!

Sam Houston State Bear Kats –Alma mater to degree # 2. All SHSU sports are covered by the TV channels in Bryan – so cool. Teach me some cheers, Telisha.

Northwestern – go DEFENSE! Cousin Darryl (but not my other Cousin Darryl) is Defensive Coordinator. Go Demons! But not against SFA or Sam Houston!

Texas Tech – I shall anxiously await my case of tortillas. Will they be arriving by Fed Ex or a TT EX on a horse? Please know I will throw them at the TV when TT plays OU and those other schools like Kansas and Iowa State that really need to concentrate on basketball.  Go Kliff!

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Alabama – I hope my readership does not fall off either, JH. I was under the impression that the four from Alabama and/or who support the Tide and who actually read HWIT represented the entire literacy of the state. Just to clarify you know I will yell “Roll Tide” when you meet Auburn, South Carolina (or any school coached by Uncle Will “Exploding Head” Muschamp), any school from Florida and any team that Bama plays that will help Texas A&M look better in the SEC West. Also, should Larry Culpepper be hawking Dr. Peppers as Alabama prepares for another National Championship in January, I will put Roll Tide on my banner.

Texas A&M – Alma mater to degree #3. Being an equal opportunity Snark my Aggies get an entire post tomorrow. Some Bad Bull.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

Posted on August 3, 2016 | 3 comments

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

If you have followed Here’s What I’m Thinking or read the descriptor you know is reads:

Short paragraphs about whatever I am thinking. I like to think about my favorite topics: College football, the state of Texas, the public school educational institution, politics and life in general.

Refining that somewhat further, I write about Texas Aggie Football. In addition I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. This includes, but is not limited to, LSU, selected schools in the Southeast Conference, and any team playing any football team from Florida.

I like teams from the Big Please Come to My Party Conference, formerly known as The Big XII. But I only like these schools Baylor, THE University of Texas, and Oklahoma State University.

And I root for the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin in Nacogdoches and Northwestern in Naco’s brother’s founded town of Natchitoches. And I root for the Bear Kats from Sam Houston State.

First though – you Crimson Rolling Tide bunch of hackers – When I wrote in January of 2016 “Happy Birthday to us all. Roll Tide”, it was to cheer for the National NCAA Division I Football Championship. Somehow it became part of the banner.

It was not supposed to stay up there until July 4 – when I first realized it was still in banner – just above the 12th Man. When I inquired from one of Tide Rollers, as to how long it had been there, I was informed “months” making my horror and shame deepen. They continued “We wondered when you would find it.” Then it took a month to figure how to remove it. Do not expect to see Roll Tide on the HWIT Banner unless it is for another National Championship.

Sabin sign (600x800)

BTHO UCLA – September 3, 2016 Kyle Field; 2:30 CBS Gig ‘Em.

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Monday, January 11, 2011 – The SECond Week of January or Happy Birthday to Us All! And Roll Tide.

Posted on January 11, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, January 11, 2011 – The SECond Week of January or Happy Birthday to Us All! And Roll Tide.

Please note: Today’s post continues the birthday wishes from last week including, but not limited to, The Lovely Carol Townsend, The Oracle of the Elvi – Elvis Presley, one of my many alter egos – Diane Keaton and the great Joan Baez – no introduction needed unless you are in your 30’s, then Google or go ask your parents. Please do not confuse my many alter egos with my multiple personalities.

This week and each day this week, there is a special birthday memory from me to you.

Sunday – January 10 – To Pat George: Deer Pat. This here be yore gud fren from long time ago, Odie Lou, wishing you a Happi Berthday!

Sunday – January 10

To: RL

From: DrD

Re: Birthdays: January 10 and 13, 2016

Attn: Needed by COB or on State Standard Time

Happy Birthday, Dear Friend. I still do not understand why we could not get our state agency ID cards with one photo of both of us in the same frame. Separate ID cards, but with one photo with the two of us would have saved the state money and tax payers too. But that was too logical. It wasn’t like people could not tell us apart – especially during your beard years. But it was still fun to argue with the people responsible for the state ID cards – renewal the week of your birthday.

Monday – January 11 – Anybody born today who is saying Roll Tide.

Tuesday – January 12 – Happy Birthday to my favorite sister, Dale Marie. Love you. Have fun in Padre. It might be a bit chilly for your string bikini. I would go with the indoors, a fire and a good book. Love this photo of you and your Cabbage Patch doll. OMG – that is me! And you are about to drop me! Well, that explains a lot doesn’t it?  “I am not crazy. My mother had me tested.” (Dr. Sheldon Cooper)

Cabbage Patch sister

Tuesday, January 12 – Happy Birthday my childhood gone too soon friend Molly Harper Fowler

me molly - Copy (698x699)

Delia Duffey and Molly Harper – their 13th birthday party @ Magnolia Community Center

and then …

Wednesday, January 13 – To ME! And to two of the dearest friends a person could have been blessed with in their life and that I am blessed to share the anniversary of our births. Carolyn Sue and Nova T. What is even better is that they are both older than I am! LMAO!

Sidebar: Carolyn Sue – Is it true that you and one of your friends ran past security back stage at a concert chasing Kris Kristofferson only to run into his then wife, Rita Coolidge and her security? It’s a wonder we, I mean you and your friend, were not arrested.

Sidebar: Nova – I promise I will ask the next person who comes through the door at the bar to dance, BEFORE the song ends, but they must have a full set of teeth, or at least all of the front ones on the top and the bottom.

Wednesday, January 14 – Larry Martinez – Memory from Mrs. Mock’s 5th Grade Class, Magnolia Elementary School – On the first day of each month students with birthdays that month went to the blackboard (that is what it was called then) and wrote the dates of their birthday. Molly, Larry and I were the January birthdays.

Thursday, January 15 – Lloyd Bridges, father of Jeff and Beau and stared in Airplane and the 1960’s TV series Sea Hunt. I really did not nor do not have any memories of Lloyd Bridges, or his sons but I did watch Sea Hunt as a child and saw the movie Airplane.

Friday, January 16 – George Edward Pickett, Brigadier General, Confederate States of America. Led a charge during the Battle of Gettysburg. It really did not turn out too well. I did not know him either, but I did read the book Killer Angels about The Battle of Gettysburg and the infamous charge, historically known as Pickett’s Charge. Plus – it is Snarky Friday. Life lessons: Do not always charge down the middle dividing your forces into two parts. Nevertheless, live life as though you are leading a cavalry charge!

Anyway, if it is your birthday today, then I hope it is happy and Roll Tide.

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Wednesday, January 6, 2016 – Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport!

Posted on January 6, 2016 | 1 comment

Wednesday, January 6, 2016 – Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport! Or Some Puzzling Questions.

A most valued reader of Here’s What I’m Thinking left a football puzzle as a comment the other day. Thank you, Reader Reggie for reading and the comment. I do not know the answers so I am offering the puzzlers to others today. I can think of many D-I college football coaches that are considered donkeys, but I am going have to jump around online to research coaching kangaroos.

And now, jumping to our puzzle.

“Dear Madam Rose……… Now that most bowl games are behind us…….until 1/11 that is…… here are a series of bowl related puzzlers to ponder while waiting for the Ags to select a QB and/or OC.

A Div 1 bowl team is blessed with a kangaroo for a head coach. Can you name the coach & team ?

A different Div1 bowl team’s head coach has kangaroos on his résumé……..as well as the Hall of Fame. Can you name the coach?

Yet another Div 1 bowl team, in a record tying victory, utilized a QB who is a member of a kangaroo family. Can you name the team & QB ?

Hint….think Old Main.”

Initial thoughts.

  • # 1: Too bad it is not Kliff Kingsbury from Tortilla Tech. It would make such great alliteration.
  • # 2: Dear Coach Kingsbury, I know you love your alma mater, and you are cranking it up a notch, but just in case you have not heard, the Offensive Coordinator position is open at Texas A&M.
  • # 3: One QB has already selected the Texas Aggies and with high school signing day now less than a month I am sure others will select the Harvard on the Brazos as their choice. Meanwhile – SEC! SEC! SEC! ROLL TIDE!

 

Old Main? – Sam Houston State University once had a building called Old Main.

I shall seek intellectual guidance and stimulation at the local Academic Salon where all Aggies go to think deep thoughts.

Campus tour 7.5.2014 2014-07-05 098 (800x600)

If you can solve the puzzle, please contact Reader Reggie for your prize. I think it is a stuffed kangaroo.

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Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

Posted on December 28, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

It is the last week of the year 2015. It will be a week filled with more college football games. However, some of these games should be quite good and two of them will be quite exciting – we hope.

One must check last week’s Here’s What I’m Thinking for your handy dandy bowl games, times, teams and station the game will be played prior to New Year’s Eve. A quick review of the only ones I care about are: Bowl Game # 23 on Dec 29 – Baylor; Bear with Foot

Bowl Game # 25 – LSU ; Mike the Tiger and Tortilla Tech Tech (800x600)

Dec 30 Bowl # 28 – The Fighting Texas Aggies – BTHO Louisville.

Corps (800x600)

I did not keep up with the previous college football games played so I only have a couple of awards based on the two games I only saw end.

Bowl # 15 – Miami wins the “We left Miami for this Weather?” Award. The Hyundai Sun Bowl in El Paso was played in blizzard conditions causing the camera people to be unable to find the football. Best part of that game – seeing the winning coach from Washington State, Mike Leach, get slammed by two Gatorade buckets – one of Gatorade; the other of ice in the blizzard.

Bowl # 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl – Indiana, you win The Too High, Not Reviewable, You Got Screwed Award. This is presented when the referees said no good to the potential tying field goal in OT. This allowed Duke to win its first football bowl game since 1961. I told you these teams played basketball.

Fast forward to Thursday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve.

# 30 Chick-fil A Peach Bowl – the University of Houston and Florida State sans starting quarterback, starting at noon on ESPN. I learned years ago from my LSU cousins – Never pull for a team from Florida.

Then at 4:00 – Here we go – This is what we have been waiting for. Invented by Larry Culpepper, it is The College Football Playoffs.

The # 31st Bowl Game is game one of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. The Capital One Orange Bowl finds ranked at # 4 The University of Oklahoma Sooners, representing the Big 12 Conference, versus the # 1 the Clemson Tigers, representing the Atlantic Coast Conference at 4:00 on ESPN. Good luck, Sooners. And good luck to your future quarterback Kyler Murray. Seriously, I do wish him well. He is fast, but he also looks like he is one hit away from a body cast.

Following this game is Bowl Game # 32 and game two of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. At 8:00 PM on ESPN from Arlington, Texas comes The Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic. The first land grant school in history, the # 3 ranked Michigan State Spartans will drown as the # 2 Crimson Tide from Alabama rolls over them like a category 5 Gulf Coast hurricane that comes rolling in during the middle of the night. Sorry. Got a bit carried away and lost my objectivity.

Jan 1 – It’s a brand new year. 2016!!! However we are pretty much back to football teams that no one cares about unless you went to school there.

# 33 – The Outback Bowl from Tampa at noon on ESPN2 we find Northwestern and Tennessee. I think I will go have a steak at Outback.

#34 is The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl between Michigan and Florida – also sans quarterback and sans any cheering for the Gators.

#35 is The BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl. The BattleFrog Fiesta? Shouldn’t TCU be playing in this? This sounds like some kind of amphibian frolicking party in the punch bowl. Anyway it is Notre Dame and The Ohio State University at 1:00 PM on ESPN.

# 36 The Granddaddy of the Bowl Games is the Rose Bowl between the Smarty Pants of Stanford and Iowa at 5:00 on ESPN. I love a parade. Going to Pasadena to the Rose Bowl Parade is a bucket list item.

# 37 – Bowl game # 37 is the bowl game that offers the most fun regardless of who wins. Gniece # 1’s alma mater, the Oklahoma State Cowboys plus Pistol Pete and the Ole Miss Rebels in the Suga Bowl in Nawlins. These teams kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. Go Pokes! I shall have a toddy or two. Pistol Pete

Jan 2 – The further away the games move from New Years, the less anyone cares about the games.

# 38 – The TaxSlayer Bowl between The ugly, yet traditional uniforms of Penn State and The University of Georgia is at noon on ESPN.

# 39 – The AutoZone Liberty Bowl with Kansas State and Arkansas from Memphis at 3:20 on ESPN.

# 40 – The Valero Alamo Bowl finds Oregon and TCU – Ducks and Frogs – playing at 6:45 on ESPN.

# 41 – The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl between West Virginia and Arizona State at 10:15 PM on ESPN. I hope they leave the light on for next year. You were expecting another network?

And then there was one. The college football bowl games are over, except for one. – The fourth and final quarter of the college football season.

On January 11, 2016 The National Champion of Division I College Football will be crowned. The game will kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. I am hoping two team both dressed in shades of red and white making it hard to distinguish the teams.

ROLL TIDE!

Schedule courtesy of ESPN and The Associated Press. That means I found it on the Internet.

 

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Monday, November 30, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 30, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 30, 2015 –

The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

You are fired. You are hired. You are on the hot seat. We were really just kidding about Les Miles. It is College Head Football Coach Turnover Time.

Will Clemson, Oklahoma, Alabama and Michigan State please report to The Committee room? Your press conferences and commercials with Larry Culpepper and The Cheese Round for The National championship are to be taped after your Conference Championship games next Saturday. OU, you can go Sooner than the other three since they are not yet locked in and “The Big 12 wins their championship on the field.” Obviously, on the field in the ice in Stillwater over Oklahoma State.

But back to the weekend.

TCU/Baylor – The Down Pour Award – or The Siren Award. TCU, please do not employ the siren during a down pour in a driving wind and rain storm. It was the third time before I realized it wasn’t a tornado warning. I guess the Frogs really do like the rain.

Here’s to Chris Johnson III from Baylor – it was your first start; the Big 12 Title is on the line, it is played in a driving rain storm in the opponent’s stadium. Talk about Baptism by fire. Nevertheless, well done. Not even the real Vikings, let alone a former Bryan Viking could have weathered that storm.

The Palmetto Bowl – The South Carolina Gamecocks rose to the occasion to give Clemson a bit more than expected. Go UNC!

Poopy Undies and CPR Award goes to Alabama for scaring the fan base against Auburn but The Tide did bring home The Iron Bow Trophy. It was ugly but there is no room in the WIN column for comments or style points. Roll Tide over Florida.

The Best Cartoon Head Exploding Award goes to Will Muschamp of Auburn. Coach Dicktionery Muschamp also wins The Articulation Award for making his parents, teachers and church going people proud for his way with words. He “religiously questioned something about God’s dam building abilities and then questioned the referee’s mother’s coitus status” and received an additional 15 yard penalty making the total yardage for Unsportsmanlike Conduct 30 yards. Palmer and Mushburger, we know you are both stupid, but even a five year old could have read Muschamp’s lips.

Just when I was about to award The Ugly Uniform Award to Oregon for wearing green and yellow glow in the dark uniforms, the Aggies came on TV. When did the A&M colors become Butt Ugly and Black? The numbers looked like iron on foil decals. Just say no to black.

In addition to the offensive uniforms, the Aggie offense looked pretty offensive, but here’s to Tra Carson.  He’s the first Aggie running back to break a thousand yards since 2011 (Cyrus Gray) and the first to do so in the SEC. Well done, Tra. Perhaps next year you will have a real coordinator for the offense.

To the Tigers of LSU – you are awarded The Best Psych Out Award for whatever is going on over there with Les Miles. When you figure it out, let me know.

It must be the same decision makers who decided to let Three Doors Down play with the LSU band rather than give the Texas Aggie Band time.  Here’s What I’m Thinking – next Thanksgiving, you will be staying three doors down from College Station – in Hearne.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)Fighting Texas Aggie Band

Well, there are 16 games left and then we begin Bowl Season. There are 40 college bowl games. I am sure one will be kicking off near you soon. The question then becomes – Who Cares? Besides Nike and Adidas?

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