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Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

Posted on August 23, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

It is the official kickoff of Snarky Friday – my college football comments before Saturday’s big games. We must begin today as the Texas Aggies open next Thursday against Texas State University – formerly Southwest Texas State University.

Oh the joys of traffic for a week day football game. Classes are just beginning at Texas A&M, Blinn College and the school districts of the Brazos Valley. No one knows where they are going. No one knows how to drive. Tailgating on east and west campuses. RVs and tents and corn hole matches dominating the land surrounding Kyle Field. 30,000 people in town Wednesday for Midnight Yell. But I am excited and already have my maroon out shirt. Every game is a maroon out game.

In other Aggie news. The 12th Man of the Aggie football team is Braden White. He is from Florence Alabama. What do you think about that, Nick? Jimbo trying a little psych out maybe? See you October 12.

I now have access to the ACC Network because I am a loyal customer – aka subscribes to all of the other sports channels. For those only familiar with the LHN, other conferences share and fans have the benefit of seeing many more schools play many more sports.

And now to the meaningless college football ratings. I see that THE University of Texas is rated number 10 in several polls. The Horns should rip through the mediocre Big 12 Conference. We shall see if they can hold on to that ranking. September 7 and October 12 should take care of it. Prepare yourself to hear Tiger Rag and Boomer Sooner ad nausea. The road to the National Championship runs through the SEC, OU and Clemson.

I see where Baylor University and The University of Mississippi will play in Houston in 2020. Well, “Hotty Toddy, God Almighty!” Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Baylor, the largest Baptist school on the planet, with no drinking is playing Ole Miss where alcohol is consumed like water and the drinking age in Mississippi is 10?

And then Old Miss fans do the Toddy Chant.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, God Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

Nothing like cussing in your yell when Ole Miss plays Baylor. Maybe the Rebels will dance too.

I am so ready for it all. Kick-off is only days away. Must get prepared for it. Note to self – pick up Bloody Mary mix and vodka for 11:00 am games, beer for 2:30 games, and wine for 6:00 games. Yes, a case of each. That should hold me through the Aggie-Clemson game.

BTHO Texas State!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies

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Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Posted on July 19, 2019 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Sometime over this weekend someone will post the number of Saturdays, the actual number of days, and the hours and minutes until college football kickoff. It might be me, but it could any one of you anxiously waiting for our favorite teams to fill the weekend TV screens.

Media Days began on Monday, July 15, and marked the unofficial start of college football season. Therefore, we have the start of Unofficial Snarky Friday. Snarky Friday is where I post my snarky comments regarding college football.

Media Days is the week when representatives from the NCAA Division I football conferences congregated in front of the media. Coaches and young men appear all dressed up, speak and answer questions from various sports media outlets.

This is the time where you hear words and phrases such as:

  • One game at a time
  • Big shoes to fill at that position
  • Big number of starters returning
  • Outstanding freshman
  • Seasoned quarterback
  • Alabama keeps whining (hey I am just paraphrasing ESPN)
  • New head coach and
  • A most difficult schedule.

As you know this blog is about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. Let’s first take a look at the Big 12 – Really Only 10 – Conference. It consists of THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University, seven other schools and Kansas that prays for basketball season to arrive. The Red River Rivalry is going to be fun, fun, fun. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Jalen Hurts won the Heisman?

Now to the – It Just Means More Conference – the SEC. I conducted a comparative analysis of the Texas Aggie Football Schedule and the SEC media days. Here’s what I’m thinking:

Media Day Schools – July 15

Florida – Do Not Care

Missouri – Really Do Not Care

LSU – Happy Thanksgiving! November 30. I shall wear my 7 OT Shirt from last year’s victory.

Media Day Schools – July 16

Mississippi – October 19 – Off to Oxford.

Tennessee – Nope!

Texas A&M – Significantly biased

Georgia – Oh crap! November 23 in Athens and seven days before LSU!

Media Day Schools – Wednesday, July 17

Arkansas – OMG! Winter is coming! September 28 in Arlington with a possibility of Nick Starkle at QB!

I am not sitting next to the damn pig this year.

Alabama – OMG! Winter is coming! October 10. Twelfth Man in the Stands! And in the streets and the whole Brazos Valley.

Mississippi State – OMG! Winter is coming! And so are the cowbells. October 26.

South Carolina – OMG! Winter is coming! But the only chicken we like is the Dixie Chicken.

Media Day Schools – Thursday, July 18

Auburn – September 21 – September 21 – the first of the three A’s. (Auburn, Arkansas and Alabama)

Kentucky – Do Not Care

Vanderbilt – Do Not Care

I am not aware if football schedules are given names that parallel similar physical events. But if so, I would like to name the Texas Aggie football schedule the following:

The 2019 Texas Aggie Football Root Canal, Gynecological/Prostate Exam and Hot Water Enema Schedule

Did I mention the Aggies play Clemson on September 7?

 

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Misc., Native Texan, SEC Media Days, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies

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Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Posted on December 28, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Congratulations to the Baylor Bears in their victory over the Vanderbilt Commodores by a whopping score of 45 to 38 in the Academy Sport and Outdoors Texas Bowl. Perhaps if you both field defensive squads next year, you can up your bowl game. Vandy, your defense looked it was Lionel Richie and the Commodores.

Earlier that day in the Walk-on Independence Bowl Duke realized it really is a basketball school and walked on in the second half to score some 45 unanswered points to win over Temple 56- 27.

In the New Era Pinstripe Bowl Wisconsin beat the Miami Hurricanes down to a Category Zero by a score of 35 to 3. May I suggest for a new era, you do not name a football game after a fabric pattern?

Today as I key this we have Purdue and Auburn playing in the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. Auburn? Purdue? Take a Nap? Hmm.

By the evening hours we begin to drift into the Better Big Boy Big School Bowls. These are the bigger games with top players.

It is during this time period we the multitude of players who get to play in The I Did Something Stupid and Made Poor Choices Bowl and/or The I’m Not Playing for My School Because I’m Going to Combine and Will Make Millions and You’re Not Bowl.

Let’ start with the West Virginia Hillbillies and Syracuse in the Camping World Bowl. Expect the usual tacky, home-spun looking WVA uniforms and some visually unaesthetic orange from Syracuse.  Hope the second string QB for WVA is ready.

If anyone is interest you can watch Iowa State and Washington State in the Valero Alamo Bowl. This does not begin until 8:00 so it is necessary to get a proper amount of sleep because Saturday starts the games with the best of the best.

Saturday begins with Florida and Michigan at noon in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. This sounds like Hooter girls making a peach cobbler bowl.

At the 3:00 hour we have the Creepy Leprechaun and the Halo Gold Helmets on the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame and another variation on orange on the Clemson Tigers. This is the Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic in the first of the College Playoff Semi-final Game. Not to worry. The game is Jerry World in Arlington and not the old Cotton Bowl Stadium where bowl games go to be canceled. Just a quick reminder to Notre Dame – you don’t play well in The Cotton Bowl regardless of where it is played. Clemson doesn’t need all of their players to beat you.

The second College Playoff Semi-final Game is the Capital One Orange Bowl at 7:00. We have the University of Oklahoma and the University of Alabama. Like Clemson, Alabama does not need all of players to beat anyone either. Why does OU go by OU when it should be UO? I don’t know.

Anyway you have OUUA or UOUA. or UAOU.  They all rhyme with Tua. ROLL TIDE!

 

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan

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Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

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Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

Posted on December 28, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

It is the last week of the year 2015. It will be a week filled with more college football games. However, some of these games should be quite good and two of them will be quite exciting – we hope.

One must check last week’s Here’s What I’m Thinking for your handy dandy bowl games, times, teams and station the game will be played prior to New Year’s Eve. A quick review of the only ones I care about are: Bowl Game # 23 on Dec 29 – Baylor; Bear with Foot

Bowl Game # 25 – LSU ; Mike the Tiger and Tortilla Tech Tech (800x600)

Dec 30 Bowl # 28 – The Fighting Texas Aggies – BTHO Louisville.

Corps (800x600)

I did not keep up with the previous college football games played so I only have a couple of awards based on the two games I only saw end.

Bowl # 15 – Miami wins the “We left Miami for this Weather?” Award. The Hyundai Sun Bowl in El Paso was played in blizzard conditions causing the camera people to be unable to find the football. Best part of that game – seeing the winning coach from Washington State, Mike Leach, get slammed by two Gatorade buckets – one of Gatorade; the other of ice in the blizzard.

Bowl # 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl – Indiana, you win The Too High, Not Reviewable, You Got Screwed Award. This is presented when the referees said no good to the potential tying field goal in OT. This allowed Duke to win its first football bowl game since 1961. I told you these teams played basketball.

Fast forward to Thursday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve.

# 30 Chick-fil A Peach Bowl – the University of Houston and Florida State sans starting quarterback, starting at noon on ESPN. I learned years ago from my LSU cousins – Never pull for a team from Florida.

Then at 4:00 – Here we go – This is what we have been waiting for. Invented by Larry Culpepper, it is The College Football Playoffs.

The # 31st Bowl Game is game one of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. The Capital One Orange Bowl finds ranked at # 4 The University of Oklahoma Sooners, representing the Big 12 Conference, versus the # 1 the Clemson Tigers, representing the Atlantic Coast Conference at 4:00 on ESPN. Good luck, Sooners. And good luck to your future quarterback Kyler Murray. Seriously, I do wish him well. He is fast, but he also looks like he is one hit away from a body cast.

Following this game is Bowl Game # 32 and game two of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. At 8:00 PM on ESPN from Arlington, Texas comes The Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic. The first land grant school in history, the # 3 ranked Michigan State Spartans will drown as the # 2 Crimson Tide from Alabama rolls over them like a category 5 Gulf Coast hurricane that comes rolling in during the middle of the night. Sorry. Got a bit carried away and lost my objectivity.

Jan 1 – It’s a brand new year. 2016!!! However we are pretty much back to football teams that no one cares about unless you went to school there.

# 33 – The Outback Bowl from Tampa at noon on ESPN2 we find Northwestern and Tennessee. I think I will go have a steak at Outback.

#34 is The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl between Michigan and Florida – also sans quarterback and sans any cheering for the Gators.

#35 is The BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl. The BattleFrog Fiesta? Shouldn’t TCU be playing in this? This sounds like some kind of amphibian frolicking party in the punch bowl. Anyway it is Notre Dame and The Ohio State University at 1:00 PM on ESPN.

# 36 The Granddaddy of the Bowl Games is the Rose Bowl between the Smarty Pants of Stanford and Iowa at 5:00 on ESPN. I love a parade. Going to Pasadena to the Rose Bowl Parade is a bucket list item.

# 37 – Bowl game # 37 is the bowl game that offers the most fun regardless of who wins. Gniece # 1’s alma mater, the Oklahoma State Cowboys plus Pistol Pete and the Ole Miss Rebels in the Suga Bowl in Nawlins. These teams kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. Go Pokes! I shall have a toddy or two. Pistol Pete

Jan 2 – The further away the games move from New Years, the less anyone cares about the games.

# 38 – The TaxSlayer Bowl between The ugly, yet traditional uniforms of Penn State and The University of Georgia is at noon on ESPN.

# 39 – The AutoZone Liberty Bowl with Kansas State and Arkansas from Memphis at 3:20 on ESPN.

# 40 – The Valero Alamo Bowl finds Oregon and TCU – Ducks and Frogs – playing at 6:45 on ESPN.

# 41 – The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl between West Virginia and Arizona State at 10:15 PM on ESPN. I hope they leave the light on for next year. You were expecting another network?

And then there was one. The college football bowl games are over, except for one. – The fourth and final quarter of the college football season.

On January 11, 2016 The National Champion of Division I College Football will be crowned. The game will kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. I am hoping two team both dressed in shades of red and white making it hard to distinguish the teams.

ROLL TIDE!

Schedule courtesy of ESPN and The Associated Press. That means I found it on the Internet.

 

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