Monthly Archives: September 2016

Friday, September 30, 2016 – Thirty Days Hath September and This Last Day Marks Snarky Friday Football

Posted on September 30, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, September 30, 2016 – Thirty Days Hath September and This Last Day Marks Snarky Friday Football

Last evening we saw the #6 University of Houston Cougars beat UConn 42-14. While UConn waits for Midnight Madness to kick off basketball season, the Cougars are still untested with Louisville on the horizon.

Speaking of basketball, also waiting for Midnight Madness is Kanas who lost to Texas No Defense Tech 55-19. But Kliff looked good as usual.

Tonight we have the Cardinal of #7 Stanford playing the #10 Washington Huskies at 8:00 on ESPN in a Battle for the Pac 12. Go Brainiacs and Christian.

Saturday begins with THE University of Texas at Stillwater playing Oklahoma State Cowboys at 11:00 on ABC. Just a reminder to Longhorns – the only team you have beaten this season was defeated last week by Duke – a basketball school. Pistol Pete has got this one.

From the “What else is in Ames, Iowa” Files at 11:00 on FS 1 we find Baylor running up the score on the Iowa State Cyclones in attempt to show the Championship Committee members “Look The Big 12 Conference really is good.”

AT 4:00 on Fox we have Oklahoma and TCU in Fort Worth. Loser has to stay in The Big 12 Conference.

ESPN brings us Alabama and Kentucky at 6:00 – Kentucky is waiting for basketball. Roll Tide.

Louisville and Clemson – Prepare for a clash of Cardinals and Tigers on ABC at 7:00. Go Lamar.

The ABC 2:30 game boasts of Wisconsin and Michigan. Unbeatens at 4-0 in Michigan Stadium should be a good one. Go Wolverines.

The SEC East has Tennessee and Georgia – 2:30 on CBS. Both teams have something to prove and the Vols, Smokey the Dog, and Rocky Top are headed to College Station next weekend.

Tigers and Tigers pit LSU and Missouri on SEC Network at 6:30. Leonard, your Heisman chances are slip sliding away.

Texas Aggies and South Carolina at 3:00 on the SEC Network – The Aggies versus the Chickens. OK, they call it a Gamecock. It is still a chicken. Please let Uncle Will Muschamp’s head explode over something. We so like to see him spewing forth all cuss words than are easy to lip read. Gamecocks fail to put points on the scoreboard against the Aggie defense. South Carolina waits for Dawn Staley and women’s basketball.

BTHO South Carolina

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September 29, 2016 – CARLA! September 3 – September 17, 1961

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September 29, 2016 – CARLA! September 3 – September 17, 1961

Say “Hurricane Carla” to anyone who was living along the Texas or Gulf Coast in 1961 and the memories come forth. I was twelve years old. There were three television channels that showed fuzzy black and white pictures of a huge storm approaching.

Mammatus Clouds 1.26.16 Bryan (800x450)

Weather forecasters said “move to sturdy buildings, such as those made of brick.” This was about as helpful as “get under your desks and put your hands over your head in the event of an atomic bomb.”

Most the town of Magnolia, Texas moved into the high school. Besides Celeste’s house, the school buildings were the only brick buildings in town.

One special memory stands out for me. Not the horizontal rains, or the high winds blowing down trees in all directions, but Hurricane Mama.

Photo by HB – 1961. Had to be a Sunday. Why else would I be in a dress?

Communications were limited to transistor radios (Google it) and there were very few of those. Nevertheless, those in the shelter learned the eye of the storm was approaching. When the eye approached, I knew there would be an extraordinary calm. It was as though the storm took a deep breath before continuing.

During the calm I ran outside the doors by the science and home ec classrooms, turned left in front of the school and ran all the way to the front of the auditorium and reentered the building. About the time I got down the hall to Mr. Lyon’s, Mr. Tergerson’s and Celeste’s offices, my Mama met me and dragged me by one arm back to the family while giving me a tongue lashing worthy of the rest of the storm about to pass.

But I smiled the entire time. Fifty-five (55) years later I can say I ran through the Eye of Hurricane Carla.

What’s your Hurricane Carla Story?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Carla

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Posted in Native Texan

Tagged Hurricane Carla, Magnolia High School, Magnolia Texas, storms

Wednesday, September 28, 2016 – Censored, Banned and Read. Here’s to The Librarians and Literature Teachers Everywhere

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Wednesday, September 28, 2016 – Censored, Banned and Read. Here’s to The Librarians and Literature Teachers Everywhere.

September 25 through October 1 is National Banned Book Week. I like their slogan – Celebrating the Freedom to Read.

Buddy Glasses

Books get banned or censored all the time for multiple reasons. These usually have passages with explicit language, sex, violence, religion, race and/or combinations of those. Others are banned because they address issues such as “bullying.”

My favorite “reason” listed for censorship is “it promotes or provides ideas to young people.” Excuse me? Isn’t that the point of reading?

I looked at several lists of banned books. Fifty-Shades of Gray was listed as banned for sex, violence and being “poorly written.” I agree. I think a new category should be “Just Stupid.”

Books like Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War that always makes a list, was said to be about “bullying.” Sidebar: Remember McC teachers and students of the late ‘70’s – this book was asked to be taken off of the library shelves for that reason plus the phrase of “…fondling the statue’s breast.” I reread The Chocolate War every so often and still think it is a good teaching tool.

In fact I reread several on the banned list. I just reread Slaughter House Five (also banned). Billy Pilgrim and PTSD long before it was recognized.

There are many lists of books that are banned. Just do a Google search of banned books to find multiple listings. I picked the list of banned books that shaped America. It lists 30 banned books that shaped America. I have read all but three on this list. How about you? Go read a book and celebrate your freedom to read.

http://www.bannedbooksweek.org/censorship/bannedbooksthatshapedamerica

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Posted in Education

Tagged banned books

Tuesday, September 27, 2016 – Happy Birthday to my favorite first born great niece

Posted on September 27, 2016 | 1 comment

Tuesday, September 27, 2016 – Happy Birthday to my favorite first born great niece. Love Aunt Delia

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The Problem with Periods in Text Messaging

Posted on September 27, 2016 | Leave a comment

When I first saw the topic was the problem with periods I thought it was about something else but it is actually about period use in texting so I guess all period can make one passive aggressive.

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Monday, September 26, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Or Ring of Fire.

Posted on September 27, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 26, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Or Ring of Fire.

“I fell into a burning ring of fire; it went down, down, down and the flames went higher…

You can Cash in on that as the firings of college football coaches begin. It’s a long way to the Championship and the road will be littered with others.

And now, appropriately enough, our awards…

The U-Haul Your Butt Away trophy is awarded to LSU Coach, Les Miles with runners up trailers for coordinators at Notre Dame and LSU.

The Second Coming of Sherman Award goes to Georgia as the Ole Miss Rebels sang a chorus “… while we were marching in through Georgia.” Hotty Toddy! Rebels 45. Dawgs 14.

The Delay of Game for Lightening AGAIN Award goes to Oklahoma State University. I am pretty sure those chrome looking helmets worn by both teams was the cause of the lightening striking nearby.

bu-osu-rain-delay-800x447

The Wizard of Oz Award goes to Baylor – The last hope of The Big 12 Schools to have a chance to win something other than a goofy, no count, never heard of before bowl game. Baylor – 35 Oklahoma State – 24.

McLane Stadium Waco 2016 Photo by Larry

The John Wayne Christmas Tree Award goes to Notre Dame for being upset by Duke. Blue Devils 38. Catholics 35. That is no Bull Durham.

John Wayne (600x800)

The Why Are You Even Here Award? goes to Delaware State for staying until the bitter end of a 79-0 loss to Missouri.

The Running Up of the Numbers Award goes to The University of Houston for a blow out of Texas State of 64-3.

The U of H Board of Regents win The Fastest Quorum Award for an emergency meeting voting to up Herman’s salary to keep him and the Herman’s Hermits on Buffalo Bayou and not a bayou on the Mississippi.

The E-Reptile Dysfunction Award goes to Florida as the Gators were not able to cross Rocky Top for a 12th time.

He had the nerve and he had the blood and there never was a horse like the Tennessee stud…

However, let us not forget it is the SEC East where the practice teams play in preparation to the real teams in the SEC West. Tennessee – 38 Florida – 26.

The Tigers of LSU win the following Awards:

The Highest Decibel Level for a single state screaming Curse Words in a Single Second.

The Most Beer Cans Thrown at TVs in bars in a Single Second.

The Best Country Western song: There Goes My Sphinctor and my Job in One Single Second.

The Jimmy Buffet Fins Award – The Land Sharks are circling and you’re the only bait in town.

Auburn wins The Charmin Award for wrapping the sacred trees to celebrate its weird victory over LSU. The award also comes with free tickets to the Fireman’s Ball. Bond for the idiot who set the toilet paper on fire and thus the sacred trees is not included in the package.

Alabama wins The Hormonal Award for its whipping of the Kent State Golden Flashes. Alabama – 48 and Kent State – 0. Obviously the Flashes were not hot enough to put any points on the score board.

The Thank You for No Over-Time Award goes to Texas A&M Aggies. How do you like the defense now? Arkansas – 24 Texas A&M – 45.

The Timex Award goes to the Arkansas quarterback, Austin Allen. He took a lickin, but kept on tickin. What a gutty performance. True Southern Grit.

The Curse of the Media Award goes to Texas A&M and AP Top 25 Poll for saying it.

If any team is going to challenge the Crimson Tide in the SEC West,

it’s the Aggies.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/colleges/ap-top-25-heat-check-fallout-and-falling-out-at-lsu/2016/09/26/59dc5620-83bf-11e6-b57d-dd49277af02f_story.html

Say it ain’t so. Every year when some sports broadcaster or writers says something like this, the Aggies begin to slide as if they stepped in owl manure. How about just having Lee Curses (Lee Corso) and Herbie Pie Cutie Pie (Kirk Herbstreit) continue to pick against the Aggies on Game Day?

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Duke, Kirk Herbstreit, Lee Corso, Les Miles, LSU, Notre Dame, Ole Miss, Rocky Top

Monday, September 26, 2016 – A Sad Weekend in Sports

Posted on September 26, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 26, 2016 – A Sad Weekend in Sports

The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards will be posted later today as we pause and pay our respects to the Marlin baseball player Jose Fernandez and to the “The King” of golf, Arnold Palmer. Long Live the King!

golf-sad-800x450

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Friday, September 23, 2016 – The Snark Attacks! The Side Step. Vote RP DWTS

Posted on September 23, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, September 23, 2016 – The Snark Attacks! The Side Step. Vote RP DWTS

Assessment Question: Who wrote The Side Step?

Vote Early and Vote Often to keep former Governor of Texas Rick Perry on Dancing with the Stars. In spite of the fact that the little person has outscored him twice, let’s continue our support for our beloved. It sounds funnier if one says he got out scored by a midget, but that is politically incorrect.

RP slides August 2014 2014-08-24 001 (2) (800x600)

My retirement letter from the state of Texas.

I do not know what he is running for, but he is certainly campaigning for something. Fellow Texans,

I am proudly standing here to humbly see. I assure you, and I mean it- Now, who says I don’t speak out as plain as day? And, fellow Texans, I’m for progress and the flag- long may it fly. I’m a poor boy, come to greatness. So, it follows that I cannot tell a lie. Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don’t- I’ve come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step, Cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

Even though Tom DeLay danced to it, we all want to see RP dance to it again. Am I right? Maybe the song writer herself would perform. I would be happy if you danced to this tune. You could dedicate it to Dolph.

It’s just a little bitty pissant country place Ain’t nothing much to see No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be It’s just a piddly squatting old time country place Ain’t nothing to hide at all Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill But there’s nothing dirty going on…

Whatever you do, RP, please do not dance to The Aggie Song. I do not think I can handle seeing you shirtless, in boots, tight jeans, a cowboy hat and a smile. Oh that is right. You refuse to wear a hat.

BTHO Arkansas!

BTHO Arkansas!

The fabulously talented Dolly Parton wrote the lyrics The Side Step.

Dolly Parton – Ann Richards Inauguration – Erwin Center Austin, Texas. Photo by me

http://genius.com/Dolly-parton-the-sidestep-lyrics

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Best, Dancing With the Stars. Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Dolly Parton, Rick Perry

Thursday, September 22, 2016 – Fall – The Autumnal Equinox

Posted on September 22, 2016 | 1 comment

Thursday, September 22, 2016 – Fall – The Autumnal Equinox

Good morning, boys and girls,

Our vocabulary word for today is: afflatus.

It is a noun meaning inspiration; an impelling mental force acting from within. Or a divine communication of knowledge.

Today marks the first day of fall. The length of the day and night (light and dark) is the same creating a balance.

Since I am sans afflatus today, click on the link below for steps to celebrate the equinox. I am headed out to do number six on the list.

I am concerned there are only eleven suggestions to celebrate. I do not like odd numbers. Therefore choose between these two to add to your personal equinox celebration to make an even twelve: