Category Archives: Misc.

Monday, October 15, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards for Week Seven

Monday, October 15, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards for Week Seven

Whoever your favorite team is that played this weekend you all receive a Poopy Undies Award for close games, overtime games, and comeback games. This includes you, Alabama. You get Poopy Undies because you only scored 39 points in the entire game when you usually score that many in the first half.

Let’s start the fanfare and celebration with THE University of Texas. A late defensive stand held off the powerhouse Baylor to give the Longhorns a win. I award them The Laughing Cow Award. It was Baylor! And the clock expired or you would have lost. And for some crazy reason the Horns are in the Top 10. There is no way The Horns can run with The Tide, the Irish, the Buckeyes, Michigan, Penn State, the Clemson Tigers or LSU ones. Enjoy while you can. There are reasons THE University is not in the SEC, the ACC or the Big 10.

I would like to award one my least favorite team, the Texas Tech Red Raiders, the Third String Grit Award for beating TCU with mostly second and third stringers playing due to injuries. And the quarterback’s last name is the same as mine and I don’t like frogs.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Big 12 conference wins The On Any Saturday Award because Iowa State can beat you. WVa 14 Iowa State 30.

Penn State and Michigan State. The Nittney Lions looked like the Ninny Lions with 19 seconds left as Michigan State scores to win 21 – 17. The Lions win the Puffy the Magic Spartan Award.

To the LSU Tigers I award the Mike the Tiger Ate My Dawg Biscuit trophy for the never even close game over Georgia. Tigers also receive the Shades of Sherman because they marched through Georgia like Athens was burning. Mike the Tiger 36 and UGA the Bulldog 16.

Tennessee Auburn –To the Tennessee Volunteers I award the Stephen Foster Award.  “I dream on Rocky Top and beat the light brown hair.” Tennessee 30 Auburn 24.

The Bunch of Bananas Award goes to Oregon for winning over Washington. I did not watch the game and turned the channel because Oregon’s bright yellow uniforms made them look like bananas running around.

Texas A&M South Carolina – To Texas Aggies I award the Nitroglycerin Award for making our hearts stop and the Self CPR Award for not breathing during the third quarter. The Aggies also receive the But It Ain’t Like Last Year Award cause we won. Aggies 26 South Carolina 23.

And now for the Exploding Head Coach Awards. Gary Patterson of TCU wins a distant second place when he exploded during the Texas Tech game. Note to equipment managers, he needs a larger pant size.

Coming in at a strong first place is the entire Florida Gators coaching staff. First we have a coach (red hat) apparently saying something to the official about “Friends and You” if I read his lips correctly.

Then the Florida head coach’s head explodes and coaches and officials are scuffling.

Then the entire Vanderbilt team rushes the field from the opposite sideline. It was just like an old fashion high school cafeteria food fight. And you wonder why we don’t like Florida. Check out the Vanderbilt ball boy. So calm. Florida 37 Vanderbilt 27.

I did not leave out Oklahoma State intentionally. I just figured the family did not want to be reminded.

See you tomorrow with whatever I am thinking.

 

Sunday Morning, October 14, 2018 – Robert Edward Lee

Sunday Morning, October 14, 2018 – Robert Edward Lee

As Kris Kristofferson sang I am probably wasting my time “talking to the people who don’t listen to the things that I am saying, thinking someone’s gonna care.” But I am going to try.

If the only attribute you know about Robert E. Lee is that he was a Confederate General and leader of the Confederate Army during the American Civil War, then as they say “You don’t know jack.”

Note: Academic regalia now on. I do not care if you consider your political views conservative or liberal. When one studies history, you are taught to never evaluate a time period of the past with the social values held today. It is always 20/20 vision when looking backwards in history. Therefore any statements today regarding any individual and the social mores and values of over 150 years ago should be considered null and void historically or accurately taken into the historical context of the time period.

What else do you know about Robert E. Lee? If you do have an interest in this great individual, I encourage you to read this book entitled Lee-The Last Years by Charles Bracelen Flood.

It begins when Lee leaves Appomattox and begins his journey home to Richmond on Traveller. Horse lovers, Traveller plays a critical role in Lee’s life and in history. He is mentioned prominently in the book and died shortly after his owner. Note: Lee preferred the British spelling with two “L’s” rather than the American spelling with one.

You can follow Lee’s short, but intense journey as president of Washington College in Virginia – now Washington and Lee University. The reforms he made at the college in curriculum, instruction and the educational administration of an institution of higher education were visionary and standard setting for colleges and universities of the South today.

Among the many rebuilding and reform efforts for the Commonwealth of Virginia and Washington College, he oversaw the building of the chapel on campus because he was a deeply religious man and wanted the college to reflect Christian beliefs. His angst regarding the loss of his United States’ citizenship and the constant possibility of a trial for treason certainly added to his early death.

As the author of Lee points out, “if Lee were not remembered for his military leadership, he would be remembered as a great educational leader.” Perhaps, we should try to remember him that way. It might be less dividing.

Academic regalia off now. Happy Sunday.

Monday, October 08, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 08, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

I say come along my baby, whole lotta shaking going on. And that is just in the top ten of college football.

My dear friends B and J sent a perfect YouTube that says it best about week six in college football, but before you watch it, here are my awards

To every team that played except Alabama, Clemson, Georgia, Sam Houston and Ole Miss – Poopy Undies and CPR instructions to the fans for close games and OT games. Question for Ole Miss – did the other team show up?

Let’s start with Sam Houston State and Stephen F. Austin State. In the Battle of the Piney Woods, the Bearkats beat the pine tar out of the Lumberjacks 54-21. Stephen F. Austin wins the “We Play Basketball Award.” Have you noticed Sam Houston’s orange is the same color as the TDC prisoners’? The two state institutions must get a fabric discount. Did you know the Bearkat mascot for Sam is named Sammy. The lumberjack for SFA is named The Lumberjack.

Rolling on.

Number 1 Alabama 66 and Arkansas 31 – I am awarding the Alabama Tri-Delt sorority flag football team the Defensive Award. That had to be who suited up and played to allow 31 points from Arkansas. I think the Heisman Committee should just give the entire trophy to Alabama.

Number 5 LSU 19 and Florida 27. I am giving the LSU fans My Uncle Ralph Award because that game was a four flasker. Florida? Really?

Iowa State 48 and #25 Oklahoma State 42. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys receive the Religious Defense Award because it was holy, holy, holy.

I give #3 Ohio State the Who Cares Award? Ohio State 49 Indiana 26. Basketball is just around the corner.

To THE University of Texas I award the Maybe Award. When the Horns beat West Virginia, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State, I will be convinced they are back. I also award the Horns the “2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits and 4 Quarters Award.” Bevo, you must play all four quarters. OU just ran out of time. Texas 48 OU 45

Texas A&M 20 and number 13 Kentucky 14 in OT. To the teams of the SEC I am giving the CCR Award from the Aggies.

“I see a bad moon arising;

I see trouble on the way;

Don’t go round tonight;

It’s bound to take your life;

There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

 

Photo by KB

The old Aggies would not have won. Basketball season again Kentucky. I am giving the Aggies The Robert Frost Award because we still have miles to go before we sleep.

This dude says it all. Therefore, the Big Solid Award goes to Mississippi State for defeating Auburn 23 to 9. For some teams it’s a wrap and so is this post.

https://youtu.be/x67CFvHim7k

 

Friday, October 05, 2018 – The Friday Football Snark’s Schadenfreude

Friday, October 05, 2018 – The Friday Football Snark’s Schadenfreude

Let’s get this schadenfreude started with the word of the day!

Schadenfreude is a noun meaning satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune. Let’s get the misfortune started early Saturday morning with:

Number 1 Alabama and number nothing Arkansas kickoff at 11:00 on ESPN. Tusk, the hog, will become Tusked, Miss Piggy by half time. The Tri Delt sorority flag football team will play the fourth quarter.

Also seeing lots of red on FOX it is the Red River Rivalry with #7 Oklahoma and # 19 THE University of Texas. “Murry, Murry, quite contrary, how many TDs will you throw?” Not happening, Sorry Horns.

Get the remote and set the screens for the 2:30 games. These are big ones.

Well, this one probably isn’t big to any groups save the fan bases. Baylor and Kansas State on FS1. Sic ‘Em Bears!

In a game of interest on ESPN it is #4 Clemson and number nothing Wake Forest. Wake Forest should pose no contest but you never know it could be Woke Forest.

On ESPN2 it is the number 25 Oklahoma State Cowboys and number nothing but always dangerous Iowa State. Mascots with names of dangerous weather patterns like cyclones or hurricanes should be banned. Also, Oklahoma State, please do not wear those ugly gray granny tights looking uniforms again. EVER!

But the biggest game of all is on CBS with #5 LSU and #22 Florida! GEAUX TIGERS! Mike the Tiger likes gator meat; tastes like chicken. I was taught early on to never pull for a team from Florida. The LSU/Florida would always be a three flasker for my uncles at the game. They would have a flask in each boot and one in each wives’ purse.

I made need the same number of flasks as Number 13 Kentucky and number nothing YET Texas A&M kick off on ESPN at 6:00. Big Blue Nation arrives in Kyle Field to meet Big Maroon 12th Man.

The University of Kentucky has three official mascots:

  • Blue — A live bobcat (note that in American English, “wildcat” generally refers to this particular mammal). He lives at the state-operated Salato Wildlife Education Center near Frankfort. Unlike the school’s two costumed mascots, he never attends games, because bobcats are very shy by nature and do not react well with large crowds.
    • If you were a wildcat living in Kentucky wouldn’t you be very shy with crowds too?
  • The Wildcat — A costumed student, he made his debut in the 1976–77 school year.
    • Anthropomorphic mascot. For the products of the Kentucky education systems it means “it ain’t real; it’s got on a costume; don’t shoot it.
  • Scratch — A later addition, he is a more child-friendly version of The Wildcat. Scratch wears his hat backwards, drinks Pepsi, and loves to party.
    • There is a child-friendly wildcat?

KU fans are not able to agree on the mascot’s name either. From the unimaginative and obvious fans the mascot is called “Wildcat.” From the Possible Pepsi sponsors the mascot is called “Scratch.” Why didn’t they go with Blue – the name of their live bobcat? Sorry, I forgot. It’s Kentucky. You may be ranked number 13, but the Aggies will always be ahead of you with 12th Man.

I would be remiss if I did not include The Battle of the Piney Woods between two of my sheepskin document deliverers- Stephen F. Austin and Sam Houston State. Holding degrees from both institutions, I really have no preference as to the victor. Both schools sit “’neath Texas pines, where we’ve found peaceful shrines and every month is May.” Guess I do have a preference. Ax ‘Em Jacks! ESPN3 at 1:00

BTHO Kentucky! WHOOP!

 

Tuesday, October 02, 2018 – Tuesday Thoughts and Three Things I Did Not Know

Tuesday, October 02, 2018 – Tuesday Thoughts and Three Things I Did Not Know

Here are three things I did not know.

I did not know I would need to consult the Urban Dictionary to define Devil’s Triangle and Boofing when learning about a Supreme Court nominee. I wonder if those terms will be in future history books. How does a history teacher deal with these type current events? Maybe Boofing could be taught in health class. I don’t know.

All of this written in the high school yearbook and told in college antics.

The worst I have in my high school yearbook is somebody wrote about a group of us wrapping somebody’s house in toilet paper one night on Halloween. FYI – My mother already knew about it and I was pretty sure I was grounded at the time and the yearbook reminder was not needed.

For all of my high school friends and all of my college friends – especially sorority sisters and fraternity friends – please know as far as I know any one of you can qualify for the Supreme Court.

Here is another thing I did not know.

Technology has just gone bat crap crazy. There are objects called Sex Robots. When I hear the term robot, I think of R2D2 or C3PEO or even the robot maid on The Jetson’s. A sex robot brothel is trying to locate in Houston. With Houston’s no zoning laws or ordinances it will probably be located in same block as an elementary school, massage parlor, gun store and a church. I am going to have to consult The Urban Dictionary again. There are so many things I did not know about this and quite frankly I do not want to know. I am pretty sure that no one who goes there or purchases a robot will run for public office or a hold high level decision-making position. But you never know. Frankly, I would rather have a robot maid.

Here is the last thing for today that I did not know.

If you eat a chocolate cupcake with blue icing, it will turn your poo poo green. Try it and see. Made you laugh, didn’t it?

Friday, September 28, 2018 – The Snark Arrives

Friday, September 28, 2018 – The Snark Arrives

Listening to Fleetwood Mac’s – Tusk (love the drums) and making my grocery list – pork sausage; bacon, ham, chitlins, ham hocks, pig’s ears; pig’s feet. I am making breakfast brunch for the 11:00 games. Note to invited guests, I am kidding about the pig’s ears and feet. Let’s see who is on TV at that time.

On the SEC Network at 11:00 we have the # 1 Alabama Crimson Tide vs Louisiana. I think that means the Rajun Cajuns, but it could refer to the entire state of Louisiana. Oh well, they will still lose to Bama.

In a clash of orange (add orange juice to grocery) with their ugly orange anthropomorphic mascots we have Syracuse and Clemson on ABC.

ON ESPN 2 we find WVU couch burning Hillbillies and Texas Tech, Masked and Guns Up (you need to change to your mascot) Red Raiders. You can heat the thrown tortillas on WVU’s burning sofas when they win.

At 2:30 on ABC we have the Baylor Bears versus the Oklahoma Sooners. Let us pray.

Opposite the Bears and Sooners we find THE University of Texas versus K-State on FS1. Please Horns, do not blow this and look ahead to the following weekend!

On ESPN at 5:00 it is the Gators (are the Gators?) of Florida versus the Mississippi State Bulldogs. You know I never yell for a team from Florida, but will always yell for maroon and white with dogs as mascots.

On the Notre Dame network, NBC, at 6:30 we find Stanford and Notre Dame. Come on Cardinal (You know the mascot is a color or tree or a colored tree?) but come on smarty pants. Surely you can come up with some fancy electronic gadget or doodad to block out Touchdown Jesus. After all, the mosaic is on the library.

The Penn State Nittany Lions and the Ohio State seeds or fruits or whatever a Buckeye is, kick off at 6:30 on ABC. Is that what that stupid patch is on Ohio State’s helmets? Seeds? What is Ohio State going to do when no one can read cursive any more?

I will, of course, will be watching Ole Miss and LSU at 8:00 on ESPN with great, yet bittersweet memories. I will looking for you, Cousin Penny. Read yesterday’s post.

That’s it. Ready to go to grocery store. Wait. Seems as though I forgot one of my favorite teams. Well WHOOP! Texas A&M versus Arkansas plays at 11:00 am on ESPN in the neutral site of Dallas. Note to Razorbacks, there are no neutral sites when it comes to Aggies. We are everywhere.

I am sure the Razorbacks will bring their mascot. I believe the hog’s is Tusk. Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away? Just say that you want me. That’s right, Tusk, the Aggies want you!

Don’t forget champagne for mimosas and BTHO ARKANSAS!

Why don’t you ask him if he’s going to stay?
Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away?
Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?
Why don’t you tell me who’s on the phone?

Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him who’s the latest on his throne?
Don’t say…

Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him who’s the latest on his throne?
Don’t say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!

Tusk!
Just say that you want me
Just tell me that you

Tusk!
Tusk!
Tusk!

Monday, September 24, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 24, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Let’s step right in it and award the Sooners of OU a big Poopy Undies Award. This is for Army taking the Sooners to OT before falling 21-28.

Before we leave Games of Toilet (the original Game of Thrones) the Dismal Pepto Bismal Trophies go to:

  • Mississippi State as the Kentucky Wildcats upset the Bulldogs 28 to 7.
  • Virginia Tech as the Old Dominion Monarchs score an upset for the ages with a 49 -13 victory. Go Butterflies!
  • The Oklahoma State Cowboys got thrown by Texas Tech OSU 17 Tech 41. Barf!

    Photo by Kristen

    Oklahoma State gets The Band Award because that was really the band in those ugly gray football uniforms.

  • The Smarty Pants Award goes to Stanford who rose from the stacks of the library and come from behind to defeat the Ducks of Oregon 38 to 31. What color/shade of green is that Oregon? Nike should be boycotted for creating that color. Chartreuse? Puke?

Photo by Jill.

The Coming Round the Mountain Award goes to THE University of Texas. The Longhorns looked legitimate against the Horned Frogs of TCU with a 31-16 victory. Don’t use all of your electricity lighting the Tower. There is still a road of screaming red ass rednecks ahead of you in Dallas and Lubbock in October and November.

Congrats to Baylor for their victory over Kansas. The Bears, however, receive The Condolences Award because they have to play a pissed off OU team in Norman on ABC on Saturday. Watch those Army/OU films. Better yet, get the Army from down the road at Fort Hood to play and ensure your basketball tickets are renewed.

To my Tigers of LSU I give you the I Knew You Could Do It Award for your victory over LA Tech 38-21. I also give you It’s a Special Week for Tiger Football Award. There will be more about this topic during the week.

The Put a Sock in Your Mouth Award goes to Gary Danielson who was one of the talking heads in the announcers’ booth for Alabama and Texas A&M. Did Coach Saban or Coach Fisher ask what plays you would have run? You seemed to second guess both of them on almost every play. Does anyone really care what you would have done if you ran the ball, passed the ball, or caught the ball? Beth Mowens calls a better game than you do, Gary, and she never wore a jock strap.

Moving to the Alabama Texas A&M game. The score was Texas A&M and Alabama 45. You know the Aggies never lose. They just run out of time. Therefore, I am awarding The Fighting Texas Aggies a Two Year Hourglass Award. Two years from now in Tuscaloosa. We shall return.

The Aggies also receive The Roman Candle Award because there were some very nice sparks on defense and offense. It was Bama’s closest margin of victory to date. Even though Aggie QB Kellen Mond receives the Does My Butt Look Good on the Ground Award, he also receives the I Ran for Almost 100 Yards Trophy.

To Alabama and Coach Saban I award The Run and Hide Award. When they say ROLL TIDE, it means every team needs to run and hide.

Alabama also receives The Mrs. Lathram Benefactor Award. They are just that good. Let’s see how long it takes you to figure that one out. Ha!

 

Friday, September 21, 2018 – Friday Football Snark

Friday, September 21, 2018 – Friday Football Snark

The Friday Football Snark is running way behind, but FFS does have a new TDL replacing the one l-0-s-t. It only took two and half hours.

Let us fall in with the Who Cares? Category

Tonight we have FAU and UCF on ESPN at 6:00. More schools from Florida.

At 8:00 on FS1 the alma mater of Lt. Colonel, Henry Blake, Illinois, plays Penn State. Henry taped the wrong ankle of the team’s running back. Pretty sure wrong or correct ankle tape will not help the Illini tonight.

No one worth watching at 11:00 Saturday morning. The teams I like begin at 2:30.

At 2:30 on FS1 we find Baylor and Kansas in what could prove to be a deluge of really wet water in Waco. But you know how those Baptists like to dunk.

Also falling into a possible deluge of really wet water further down I-35 THE University of Texas plays TCU in Austin. It could be a Frog strangler if you are not careful T. Kickoff is set for 3:30 on Fox.

On the CBS the game of the week is Number one ranked Alabama verses Number 22 and hopefully Aggie 2.0 version which means new and improved Texas A&M – also known as the Nick and Jimbo Show.

Getting Jimbo’s autograph. Hope it becomes more valuable that Johnny’s

I will construct my BTHO Bama shrine tonight. I have helmet with Johnny Manzeil’s autograph. I understand it could be worth $5.25 in Canadian money.

Currently the spread is 26.0. I think it will be a much closer game than that. Of course, I have thought that about the Aggies since 1980 when I first drank the maroon the Kool-Aid.

Both defenses are very religious. They are both very holy and could present some issues. What can and will Mr. Mond do with his feet?

Can you catch Trayveon?

The Aggies are coming and we’re bringing yardsticks with us to see how Jimbo and the team measure up. Start Rolling Tide. We are coming after you!

BTHO ALABAMA

Monday, September 17, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 17, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Review: I write about the teams I like and teams that play teams I like.

So On Wisconsin to accept your Poopy Undies Award for losing to BYU 21-24.

The Wisconsin kicker who missed the game tying field goal to go to overtime receives The Hooked Left Award. This comes with a Bless Your Heart Certificate.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Tigers of LSU and their fans. Nevertheless, a win over Auburn is worth it.

The Best Kick of the Day goes to the LSU kicker for kicking the game winning field goal with two seconds on the clock. LSU 22-Auburn 21.

It was not close enough for Poopy Undies but I am awarding the Grab Your Beads Award to Notre Dame for allowing Vanderbilt to come close. ND – 22 Vandy 17.

The One Kick Off Wonder Award goes to Ole Miss for their one and only score against Alabama. Tide 62 – Ole Miss 7. Rumors abound that Coach Saban put in the women’s soccer team; the tuba section of the band and two cheerleaders in the fourth quarter.

Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi State all share the We Scored Lots of Points and Win Big Award.

Baylor lost to Duke in what was not even close in The Baptists and Blue Devil Bowl. BU 27 Duke 40. I supposed the Blue Devil thing extends beyond Wake Forest. (See last Friday) It will be ok; Baylor, Kansas is next weekend. What? Kansas scored 55 points against Rutgers? I don’t know if Kansas scored 55 points last season in four games. Rock Chalk Jayhawk could cause some problems in Waco land.

Congrats to THE University of Texas for their win over USC 37 -14. However, I award the Horns The Ugly Uniform Award. Tradition is one thing, but uniforms that look like 1956 are another. They just look old.

Ohio State achieved The Revenge on The Little Sisters of the Poor Award by a 40 to 28 win over TCU. Watch out Texas the Frogs will be spitting mad next weekend. And their uniforms are prettier.

The Best Play of Any Football Game of the Weekend Award goes to University of North Texas for the fake fair catch and then touchdown run. Even if you have seen it, it is still fun to watch. The School Yard Play Award to UNT!

That means Arkansas gets The Our Face is as Red as Our Uniforms Award. Meanwhile the Eagles turned the Arkansas Hogs into a pig sty with a 44 to 17 win.

https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2018/9/16/17864636/north-texas-fake-fair-catch-punt-return-td

The Throw Back to Last Year Award goes to the Texas Aggies. You looked like last year’s Aggies. This will not play well in Tuscaloosa next weekend. However, let us not forget the Aggies had FOUR touchdowns recalled. The score ended 48 to 10 over University Louisiana Monroe.

My last award of the day goes to the two mouths talking in the SEC announcer booth for the Aggies and Monroe game. Quite simply – YOU BOTH SUCK! You are supposed to call the football game. Instead you spent the entire fourth quarter talking:

  • Over the referee’s calls
  • While players are injured on the field
  • About personal stories of people and things nobody knows or cares about
  • Your impressions of all the Aggie and Warhawk football players you met during the week

With each play, instead of calling the play, you both gave your biased analysis of how that play or that player will do against Alabama next week. Granted, I do not know Coach Nick Saban. But here’s what I’m thinking. If Coach Saban wanted or needed your opinions, he would have already asked you and you would not be sitting in an announcing both doing a crappy job.

Friday, September 14, 2018 – Snarky Friday – College Football’s Most Valuable Team

Friday, September 14, 2018 – Snarky Friday – College Football’s Most Valuable Team

My apologies for running late with Snarky Friday. But at least I am still running.

It is Snarky Friday and let’s begin with a huge SNARK because there is a new dollar bill in town. Forbes Magazine states that college football’s most valuable team is:

Texas A&M University

So much for Bevo being the cash cow. The 148 million average annual revenue of Texas A&M is the largest in the nation. If you live anywhere but Austin, the media states that THE University of Texas’ annual revenue of 133 million, is a “distance second.” If you live in Austin, the media states it is a “close second.” It must some kind of new math they teach in Austin.

Speaking of increasing revenue, the Aggies will increase the revenue and warm up Saturday night against University of Louisiana Monroe. FYI – for those of you unfamiliar with the state of Louisiana Monroe is a fancy place in North Louisiana. If I understand correctly, do not confuse Monroe with West Monroe. One is fancier than the other.

THE University of Texas will have fond memories of USC from 2005, but that will be all the Horns will have. They kickoff at 7:00 on Fox.

While there are games at 11:00 they fall into the “I do not care category.” The real games are in the afternoon. Let’s start at 2:30 on CBS where we find the Tigers of LSU against the Tigers of Auburn. Geaux Tigers. LSU has a real tiger while Auburn is named for a hair color and has an anthropomorphic tiger.

Also at 2:30 on ESPN we have the Oklahoma State Cowboys against the Broncos of Boise State. If this game is on that blue field with the OSU orange it will be color blinding and nauseating. Go Pokes.

Baylor gets to play Duke on FS1 at 2:30. Did you know that the Duke mascot of Blue Devils is a result of a vote in 1923 partly to anger the Baptists of Wake Forest? Sic ‘Em Bears!

http://www.goduke.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=4200&ATCLID=242333

At 3:15 on Fox with lots of red colors, Major Applewhite takes his University of Houston Cougars team against Kliff Kingsbury’s Texas Tech Raiders. Go Shasta.

Ohio State and TCU play at 7:00 on ABC. I had no idea there was such rivalry between these two teams dating back to 2010. It started when the president of Ohio State suggested the only reason the Frogs were undefeated was because they play the “Little Sisters of the Poor.” Then when TCU defeated Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl, TCU alums placed digital billboards around Columbus, Ohio that read:

CONGRATULATIONS TO TCU

For their BCS Rose Bowl Victory – Little Sisters of the Poor.

Go Frogs.

And last, but in no way least, at 6:00 on ESPN the Rebels of Ole Miss go up against The Tide of Alabama. While the Tide will roll, the Rebels could provide some grief. Therefore, I am awarding a Potential Poopy Undies to the Bama Fans. This is not for a loss, but for plays that will scare you. Hotty Toddy!

BTHO Louisiana Monroe

I wonder who the Aggies play next week.