Monthly Archives: July 2019

Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Sometime over this weekend someone will post the number of Saturdays, the actual number of days, and the hours and minutes until college football kickoff. It might be me, but it could any one of you anxiously waiting for our favorite teams to fill the weekend TV screens.

Media Days began on Monday, July 15, and marked the unofficial start of college football season. Therefore, we have the start of Unofficial Snarky Friday. Snarky Friday is where I post my snarky comments regarding college football.

Media Days is the week when representatives from the NCAA Division I football conferences congregated in front of the media. Coaches and young men appear all dressed up, speak and answer questions from various sports media outlets.

This is the time where you hear words and phrases such as:

  • One game at a time
  • Big shoes to fill at that position
  • Big number of starters returning
  • Outstanding freshman
  • Seasoned quarterback
  • Alabama keeps whining (hey I am just paraphrasing ESPN)
  • New head coach and
  • A most difficult schedule.

As you know this blog is about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. Let’s first take a look at the Big 12 – Really Only 10 – Conference. It consists of THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University, seven other schools and Kansas that prays for basketball season to arrive. The Red River Rivalry is going to be fun, fun, fun. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Jalen Hurts won the Heisman?

Now to the – It Just Means More Conference – the SEC. I conducted a comparative analysis of the Texas Aggie Football Schedule and the SEC media days. Here’s what I’m thinking:

Media Day Schools – July 15

Florida – Do Not Care

Missouri – Really Do Not Care

LSU – Happy Thanksgiving! November 30. I shall wear my 7 OT Shirt from last year’s victory.

Media Day Schools – July 16

Mississippi – October 19 – Off to Oxford.

Tennessee – Nope!

Texas A&M – Significantly biased

Georgia – Oh crap! November 23 in Athens and seven days before LSU!

Media Day Schools – Wednesday, July 17

Arkansas – OMG! Winter is coming! September 28 in Arlington with a possibility of Nick Starkle at QB!

I am not sitting next to the damn pig this year.

Alabama – OMG! Winter is coming! October 10. Twelfth Man in the Stands! And in the streets and the whole Brazos Valley.

Mississippi State – OMG! Winter is coming! And so are the cowbells. October 26.

South Carolina – OMG! Winter is coming! But the only chicken we like is the Dixie Chicken.

Media Day Schools – Thursday, July 18

Auburn – September 21 – September 21 – the first of the three A’s. (Auburn, Arkansas and Alabama)

Kentucky – Do Not Care

Vanderbilt – Do Not Care

I am not aware if football schedules are given names that parallel similar physical events. But if so, I would like to name the Texas Aggie football schedule the following:

The 2019 Texas Aggie Football Root Canal, Gynecological/Prostate Exam and Hot Water Enema Schedule

Did I mention the Aggies play Clemson on September 7?

 

Tuesday, July 16, 2019 – Tuesday Profundity

Tuesday, July 16, 2019 – Tuesday Profundity

Whoever said “April is the cruelest month,” never lived in Texas in the summer. Dang it is hot. Feels like being in Hell wearing gasoline underwear.

Speaking of underwear… I know; the transition is a stretch, but so is the underwear.

I was actually planning to write something profound and highly intelligent sounding today. While the day began quite well, it was shortly after I got to the gym that everything did a complete 180.

I was doing a five minute warm-up on the elliptical. Into about minute one of the exercise, I realized something was amiss among the nether region. Nevertheless, I finished exercise, stepped down and calmly walked to the Women’s Room.

I not only had my spandex undershorts on backwards, they were wrong side out. In my attempt to correct, I almost dropped my outer, regular shorts in the toilet. Therefore, I am not writing anything profound other than “Check your underwear before you go out.”

Stay cool.

Don’t Mess With Our Blue Bell!

“April is the cruelest month,” by T. S. Eliot, is the opening like of The Waste Land.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Attention Texas Aggies, English teachers, Texas Aggie English teachers and readers of all sorts of books!

I am waiting for my vacation pictures to be developed. What that means is I have been too lazy to get my pictures from last weekend’s trip to Fredericksburg loaded on the computer, organized, sorted, and resized. I only had three cameras. I know I made Honeyboy proud by taking so many photographs.

Meanwhile, these two books are a must read. They are total opposite in nature.

Melanie Shankle – Everyday Holy – Finding a Big God in the Little Moments of Life.

Melanie Shankle is a Former Student of Texas A&M University (WHOOP!) who lives in Texas. Her book was given to me as a gift because the giver said “She writes like you do.” That is a great compliment because like Ms. Shankle, I try to be humorous, clever, spiritual and religious, and often irreverent. I would like ask her though – “What’s with the glossy pages?” I have to keep tilting the book to adjust the glare.

Casey Cep – Furious Hours

If you are from Alabama, know someone from Alabama, went to the University of Alabama, root for Alabama, ever visited or driven through Alabama, and/or like Alabama history and politics this is a must read.

If you ever read In Cold Blood and To Kill a Mockingbird, this is a must read.

If you ever heard of Truman Capote and Harper Lee, this is a must read.

Now I must go and check on my vacation pictures.