Tag Archives: OU

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Things begin to get serious for teams I like and teams that play teams I like. There are few cupcake games on the schedule. Defensive and offensive units begin to solidify. We hope.

Let us begin with Poopy Undies Awards. This is given to the fans of teams who need a change in undergarments due to their team’s performance. The first award goes to the Fighting Texas Aggies for once again defeating the Arkansas Razorbacks in overtime. How many times now Hogs? Doesn’t matter the South Carolina Chickens are coming to College Station.

Poopy Undies Awards must be awarded to the fans of Oklahoma and Baylor. To go with your Poo Poo Undies Award, OU, you also receive The Never Under Estimate your Opponent Award.

Boomer Sooner Baylor Bust. Photo by Debbie

While we are giving bodily function awards, let us proceed to the Pepto Bismal Awards for upsets.

  • Florida – 28 Kentucky – 27 – Gator kick field goal to win as time expires. Basketball season begins soon!
  • Florida State 21 NC State 27- Good bye to the Top 25 for the Seminoles.
  • TCU – 44 Oklahoma State -31 – Pissed Off Pistol Pete in Stillwater. Frogs rising and making things interesting in the Big 12.

The Southern Ladies Arts and Crafts Ideas for During Game Award goes to those who endured the Mississippi State loss to Georgia. Bully 3 and UGA 31.

Ladies, may I suggest implementing a Cursing Jar on game day? This is for those whose language often becomes colorful when one is forced to utter expletive deleteds as he or she watches in horror as their alma mater has no defense and no offense. With each play, drop a quarter into a plastic jar. Jars should be plastic to avoid breakages when thrown at the television.

This Curse Fund can add up quickly. During the Texas Aggie/UCLA game I made five dollars during the fourth quarter alone. Variations may include quarters for one syllable curses; two quarters for compound words; and a $1.00 for compound words and phrases questioning one’s religion and one’s birth mother.

The only Big Solid Award for Defense goes to Texas Aggie Armani Watts for intercepting the pass in the end zone to end the game in OT and seal a victory for the Aggies.

To the official from The Hellen Keller School of Officiating, we give the Right Foot Wrong Foot Award. This is given for calling the Aggie QB out of bounds when it was actually the defender who was out of bounds. Does the “S” stand for Sightless?

Photo by Barrett Sallee, from Twitter.

The last awards are the fashion awards. First the team – to Baylor. Not exactly ugly, but the black and gold lame (pronounced “lay may”) numbers did not work for me. But hey, if works, then keep on wearing. Also, do you know how long it took me to find out how to spell lame? And now I can’t find the little punctuation thing show it is French prounced‘lamay’ and not ‘lame’ as the team was before.

The final fashion award for Worst Dressed goes to Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema. Yes, that sweat shirt made you look frumpy. It looked like a last minute pick up off the floor fashion decision. Show some dressing!

I apologize for no awards to the Biggies this week as each had no trouble with their opponent – Alabama, Ohio State and Clemson. Here’s a Dr. Pepper and boys’ medium shirt from Larry, Doug Flutie and Boston College.

I wonder if South Carolina will take the mascot to the Dixie Chicken next Saturday. BTHO South Carolina. Maybe we’ll tailgate. I’ll bring chicken tacos!

Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

It is the First Day of Fall. The temperature is an unpleasant and humid 90 degrees in Texas.

Hope The Fighting Texas Aggie Band looks as good in Jerry World in Dallas as in Kyle Field last week. Photo by KB.

Starting our football day on ESPN at 11:00 AM. in the morning, we have The Hopefully Fighting Texas Aggies versus the Arkansas Razorbacks in the SEC opener for both teams. Sing it Willie Nelson, It’s gonna be a Bloody Mary Morning. Hopefully it will be served with an extra-large side of bacon, sausage and a pork chop. I imagine the frying pan will very hot for both coaches.

Speaking of a coach’s butt sitting in the frying pan, on ABC at 11:00 you will find the Red Raiders from Texas Tech playing the University of Houston Cougars in a match-up of former Big 12 quarterbacks now head coaches. We find in the frying pan Tech Coach, Former Tech QB, Kliff Kingsbury. Opposite will be former QB at THE University of Texas, Major Applewhite. Hook ‘Em! And Go Cougar High! Remember Tech does not play defense.

I am not so certain I would be screaming “Guns Up” in TDECU Stadium in Houston. Sidebar: The official name of the stadium is derived from Texas Dow Employees Credit Union (TDECU), the largest credit union in Houston, which purchased its naming rights in the largest-ever naming rights deal for a college football stadium.

On CBS at a most reasonable hour of 2:30 Alabama travels to Nashville to meet Vanderbilt in their SEC opener. Vandy, you gonna need a lot more than Lionel Richie and The Commodores trying to sing country in Nashville. ROLL TIDE!

Photo by Kristen

Following the Aggies and Hogs we have TCU and Oklahoma State on ESPN @ 2:30. This game has potential. Go Pokes!

The David and Goliath Game is between Baylor and Oklahoma. Nothing sounds worse rising over The Brazos River above McLane Stadium than Boomer Soomer all evening long. Oh, the game is on FS 1 at 5:30 in the event you are interested.

 

Veterans Park, College Station Texas. Photo by me.

That game could be over by 6:00 when it time to switch to any other game on TV. I will be watching ESPN and the dog fight between Bully and UGA or Mississippi State versus the University of Georgia. Let the Cowbells ring in Athens on Saturday night. Going to need some Big Solid Defense.

Of course I will be accessing all of my screens (I know JH, you have screen envy) as I check on other contests looking for close scores; ugly uniforms/helmets, and exploding coaches.

BTHO Arkansas!

Friday, August 4, 2017 – Everything’s Coming Up Football – IT’S TODAY!!!

Friday, August 4, 2017 – Everything’s Coming Up Football – IT’S TODAY!!!

College football season officially begins today as teams begin practice. I am so excited I am going to get a penalty for excess celebration. I chose a song to celebrate.

The version of the song is sung by Tony Award winner,Patti LuPone, from the 2008 Broadway revival of Gypsy. In fact her second Tony Award was for Gypsy.

There is not a great deal of action in the video. Rather it is Ms. LuPone’s powerful voice that captures the moment. Click on the YouTube and scroll down and sing along. I took the liberty of changing a few words here and there.

https://youtu.be/Wop8yyVcgY8

I had a dream, a dream about you, baby. It’s gonna come true, baby. They think that we’re through, but baby…

You’ll be swell! You’ll be great! Gonna have the whole world on the TV! Starting here, starting now, Honey, everything’s coming up football!

Clear the fields! Check the refs! You’ve got nothing to do but relax.

Gig ‘Em Ags!

Roll Tide Roll! Honey, everything’s coming up football!

Now’s your timing; Stand the world on it’s ear! Set it spinning! That’ll be just the beginning!

Sic ‘Em Bears! Go Pokes Go! You got nothing to fear but OU!

You’ll be swell. You’ll be great. I can tell. Just you wait. That lucky star I talk about is due! Honey, everything’s coming up football for me and for you!

You can do it. All you need is a band. We can do it, Twelfth Man is gonna see to it!

LSU!

 

Hook ‘Em Horns! We got nothing to hit but the heights! I can tell, wait and see. There’s the bell! Follow me!

And nothing’s gonna stop us ’til we’re through! Honey, everything’s coming up football and trophies,Everything’s coming up sunshine and Saturdays, Everything’s gonna be bright lights and bowl games,

Everything’s coming up football for me and for you!

Friday, December 2, 2016 – Conference Championship Weekend and the Way Way Back Machine!

Friday, December 2, 2016 – Conference Championship Weekend and the Way Way Back Machine!

Before we begin, let us review (Saint Madeline, Patron Saint of Education). It is Snarky Friday. I only write about college football teams I like and/or play teams that I like. However, it is the “Be nice, not naughty” season so I am trying reel in the Snark. Please stop laughing.

The Conference Championship for the conference formerly known as The Big 12 will play their faux conference championship in Oklahoma when Bedlam breaks out between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Oklahoma State Cowboys. The Cowboys are coached by the man voted “Best Mullet in College Football,” Mike Gundy. Let’s go Cowboys! “Hell is coming and we’re coming with ‘Em.” Go Pokes!

OSU 1 - Copy (800x550)

The Southeast Conference Championship is between # 1 Alabama and Florida. DROWN THE GATORS! DRAIN THE SWAMP! TASTE LIKE CHICKEN! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! ROOOOOLLLLLL TIDE! Go Jalen. At least you can make Texas football proud.

I am sure I would look cute in an Alabama championship shirt of some kind. It’s not like Bama Fans don’t have a zillion of them. A nice hound’s tooth hat would look cute on me too. Just saying. I would have posted a pic.

But before college there is high school. The Way Back Machine was in action yesterday. In fact it was in way, way back mode. Check out what Magnolia history I uncovered in the family storage. Magnolia High School yearbooks. These are from 1946-1952.

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I quickly glanced through them and saw names such as: Groves, Cronin, Flemings (both sets), Carraways, Smith (as in Toby and Cedric) Buckalew, Grogan, Wade, Sanders, Evans, Covingtons, Harpers, Hanks, Graves, Deans (all sets of them too,) Damuths, Ricketts, Davenports, Purvis, Lott and so many more. There are some great photos of the old school, including the old cafeteria. I cannot wait to start sharing. Nothing like a picture of ya’ll in elementary school.

The weather is supposed to turn chilly this weekend. Perhaps these letter jackets will keep you warm with Magnolia memories.

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Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game AwardSnow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Ship wreck 4

GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!

Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.

Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.

The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.

Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.

First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.

In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?

THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.

The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.

The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10.   Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?

The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:

Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!

The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.

The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.

And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.

The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:

Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.

Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!

Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.

Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”

Twelfth Man (800x600)

Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Let’s begin with last evening’s tryouts for the Big 12 Conference. Our contest was between the University of Houston and WKRP in Cincinnati. I vote no to Cincinnati. While those really creepy black masks will go very well in parts of Texas and especially in Lubbock, are Cincinnati and the state of Ohio aware that Texas is an open carry state for handguns? Wearing masks is frowned up and tends to lead to unwanted unpleasantries in states where we are packing heat.

My second reason to vote no were those migraine causing flapping black and white tube things. This is equal to the obnoxious cowbells from Mississippi State and the seizure causing blue football field of Boise State. UH Cougars 40 WKRP Cincinnati Bearkats 16, but much closer than the score indicates.

Tonight we shall be treated to an old Southwest Conference rivalry – Baylor and Rice at Rice Stadium @ 7:00 on ESPN. Beware of the MOB, Bears. You have lots of garbage of which the Marching Owl Band can make fun.

# 1 Alabama and # 19 Ole Miss 2:30 CBS – The Tide Rolls into The Grove in Oxford. This could prove to be a game requiring multiple toddies. Coach Sabin does not want to lose for a third time to the Rebels. John and BJ and Lisa and Ric and Hopper, please know virtual CPR and breathing exercises are available via texts. I shall expect the same at 6:00 against Auburn. Roll Tide.

What programming idiots scheduled these games at the same time? I will have carpel thumb syndrome from the remote. Set those TIVOs to record.

Texas A&M and Auburn at 6:00 ESPN at Auburn. Aubie is the official tiger mascot of Auburn University. According to Wikipedia “Aubie is an anthropomorphic tiger.” Reveille IX is the mascot of Texas A&M. Reveille is a real collie. Rev 3 (800x600)

I don’t know what anthropomorphic means other than it sounds like Aubie can’t go to the bathroom in North Carolina. BTHO Auburn.

Mississippi State and LSU at 6:30 on ESPN2 in Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge. This could be a For Whom the Cow Bells Toll. I am thinking the Tigers better bring their A game. Otherwise those obnoxious cowbells will be running Miles down the road.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Ohio State and OU 6:30 Fox – Lots of red, white and grey for this one. And that is just the wine list and vodka suggestion. Seeds and Sooners in Norman.

Michigan State and Notre Dame at 6:30 on the Notre Dame Network, NBC. I shall anxiously await your texts, Mr. RL. Go Spartans!

USC and #7 Stanford at 7 on ABC. Trojans versus Cardinal. Big rivalry at stake in the Pac 12. I am going with the brainiacs.

THE University of Texas and California Berkley at 9:30 on ESPN. Bevo and the Bears. Still courting the PAC 12, Texas? Hook ‘Em Hippies! Longhorn Band (800x600)

BTHO Auburn.

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend!

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend. My Monday after Saturday (and Thursday, Friday and Sunday) After College Football Awards – Week One.

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WHOOP! Tailgating 9.3.16 Photo by Terry.

Thursday

The Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte Award goes to Louisville for the 70-14 win over Charlotte.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to the Volunteers and their fans from Tennessee for their OT victory against Appalachian State. There’s an App for that. App State 13 Tennessee 20 OT.

The Dabo Babo Award goes to Auburn for coming so close to cleaning Clemson. Clemson 19 Auburn 13.

Friday

The Baptism at the Brazos Award or the This Should Have Been a Sign Award goes to Baylor. Baylor was the first team to take down a team from Louisiana. Sorry Daryl. Bad weekend for teams from Louisiana. Baylor 55 Northwestern State 7.

That Grammar Don’t Sound Right Award goes to Stanford. “The Cardinal are on the scoreboard,” just does not sound correct, even though technically and grammatically it is since the football team is the color Cardinal. With so many brains, one would think they could come up with an actual mascot. Stanford Cardinal 26 K-State Wildkats 13.

Saturday

The Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move Under my Feet” Award goes to Oklahoma State University. Dang, when those Cowboys say, “Hell, is coming and I’m coming with it” they really mean it. OSU 61 SE Louisiana 7.

OK State (800x450)

Photo by Kristen. Thank you.

The Herman’s Hermits Award Goes toThe University of Houston. The Oklahoma earthquake obvious wrecked and fracked The Sooner Schooner, but had no effect on Big 12 Wannabee – The University of Houston. OU 23 Houston 33.

The Pepto Abysmal Award goes to LSU 14 Wisconsin 16. Is the For Sale sign up in front of Miles’s house yet?

The Flying Tortillas Award goes to Texas Tech for turning the SFA Lumberjacks into flapjacks. TT 69 SFA 17. I told you to watch out for flying footballs.

The Phrog Jumped over The Hill Award goes to the TCU Frogs. Charlie P. You know this is not the good team from South Dakota, don’t you? TCU 59 South Dakota State 41.

The Victory Award goes to Kansas University! Rock Chalk Jayhawk! for their first win in 665 days over Rhode Island. KU 55 URI 6.

The Nut Cracker Award goes to USC player Jabari Ruffin. You should have been suspended as well as ejected for that cheap shot. Glad the Crimson Tide drowned and steam rolled your package. Roll Tide! Alabama 52 USC 6.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies for their OT win against a very talented team from California. UCLA 24Texas A&M 3. I did not know I could hold my breath for an entire overtime period.

Myles (800x600)

“Get yore hand out of Myle’s Garret’s face so he can touch my hand.” Team March In – Kyle Field. Photo by me.

The Twelfth Man Award goes to The Twelfth Man – all 100,000+ chanting 50,000! 50,000! Note to Navy: Do not even think about using The Twelfth Man even though you actually pulled a midshipman from the stands to QB the team.

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E. King Gill. The Original Twelfth Man. Kyle Field. 9.3.16. Photo by me.

The Big Learning Experience Award goes to UCLA QB Josh Rosen for his leadership and taking responsibility for his poor play against the Aggies. Yes, Myles Garret and the others were in his shirt, but he stayed cool under the loud pressure and displayed outstanding leadership for a 19 year old. Well-done. It is not easy playing in Kyle Field.

Sunday

A Poo Poo Undies Award aka Holy Crap Award goes to THE University of Texas and its fans for a double OT thriller over Notre Dame. Not even the rainbow over DKR Stadium could stop BEVO from eating the creepy Leprechaun. Notre Dame 47 THE University of Texas 50 2 OT. I am happy for you Bevo, but put down Coach Strong and do not use electricity to light the Tower. It’s just Notre Dame.

Texas (800x800)

Photo by Martha. Thanks, Roomie.

The Shane Come Back Award is shared by THE University of Texas quarterbacks Shane Buechele and a swooping and stretching Tyrone Swoops. Maybe tu just needed another cowboy type name and new BEVO. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

The All Names Matter Awards goes to following:

In Third Place – from Notre Dame, # 91 Adetokunbo Ogundeji

In Second Place – from Notre Dame, # 6 – Equanimeous St. Brown

In First Place – winning from K-State, # 52 – Charmeachealle Moore.

What a weekend! That’s the scoop for the first weekend.

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Is it too early for an Ole Miss Hotty Toddy? Oh mimosas!

Friday, August 26, 2016 –The Official Return of Snarky Friday! College Football Rankings 2016: CFB Playoff Predictions After Preseason Way Too Early AP Poll.

Friday, August 26, 2016 –The Official Return of Snarky Friday! College Football Rankings 2016: CFB Playoff Predictions After Preseason Way Too Early AP Poll.

We are eight days from Saturday college football kickoff. Oh be still my heart. Here is the AP way too early preseason college football ranking Numbers one (1) through twenty-five (25) and my snarky comments regarding each.

Alabama – This is not news. This is Bama’s annual expectation. Roll Tide!

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College Station 2015 on the way to tailgate Aggies v. Tide – photo by me.

Clemson –The coach’s name is the same as a bathroom cleaner. Wait. The bathroom cleaner is Babo, not Dabo.

Ooooooooklahoma – where the winds come whistling down the plains. Stooping up with a Baker may just Field The Big 12 Champion. But the Sooner Schooner must leave Dallas with a victory in October.

Florida State – Learned at an early age – Never root for a football team from Florida.

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From my sister’s Magnolia High School senior trip 1954. Photo by Honeyboy.

LSU – Let us pray! First (and seriously) – Oh Lord, please watch over the state of Louisiana and its people. Second – Lord, please keep Leonard Fournette’s legs strong and keep him safe and healthy as he wins LSU’s second Heisman Trophy to sit next to Billy Cannon’s. Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

Please let LSU’s second Heisman winner turn out better than Texas A&M’s second Heisman winner.

Me and Johnny Manziel - Copy (800x600)

Please let Leonard’s ankle sprain be just minor enough to not allow him to return to the game after Myles Garrett slams his ass to the turf in Kyle Field on the opening series on Thanksgiving evening. Amen. Gig ‘Em Aggies and Geaux Tigers!

Ohio State – Do not care until you play a team I care about.

Michigan – Ooh. The Big Chill. You can’t always get what you wanted, but you get what you need. Jeramiah was a bullfrog … singing Joy to the World… all the boys and girls.

Stanford –The name of the team is the Cardinal. Not the bird; the color. The mascot of the band is a tree dressed in rags. The name of the band is the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band (LSJUMB). They make the Rice Marching Owl Band (MOB) appear tame and organized. I am always impressed by the kitchen sink drum line. The school has never been able to come up with a mascot. This – from the university that has given us some of the greatest academic minds in history. Go figure.

Tennessee – I Volunteer no information at this time. Please check back after October 8. Oh yes, I still think your uniforms were washed with too much bleach to achieve that faded orange.

Notre Dame – Opens against THE University of Texas in Austin on September 3. I am torn between two songs I made up: For ND as a reminder of South Bend – Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life;

End over end neither left nor the right;

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights;

Drop kick me Jesus in DK R stadium on Saturday night.

2. I am leaning more toward this song. Roomie, perhaps you can think of a catchy tune to sing it to.

Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight! And please eat the leprechaun! Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight and please eat the shamrock too! Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight! For this game is your premier! Hook ‘Em! Hook ‘Em! The gang’s all here and ND can kiss my rear.

What do you think, RL?

Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy! Probation Aw Mighty! Let it Go from the movie Freeze. Zippy KangarooOh, silly me. I meant Frozen. See you in Oxford at The Grove in November.

Michigan State – I so hope you meet USC in the Latex Bowl. The Spartans and The Trojans would be so fun.

TCU – Highway 6 runs both ways and through Waco.

Washington – Do not care until you play a team I care about, she said Huskily. Besides, your games are passed my bedtime.

Houston – Highway 6 runs both ways. So does Highway 290. Let’s see if the QB and the offensive coordinator will help you play with the big boys.

UCLA – You are aware, Golden Bears, we hired your offensive coordinator? Please check back after September 3.

Iowa – Do not care. FYI – Birds do not have teeth so neither should the mascot.

Georgia – DAWGS! Uga! Always on my mind and dangerous in the SEC.

Louisville – The school mascot is not the Sluggers. The mascot is The Cardinals – the birds, as in plural, and not the color and in singular. See # 8.

USC – See # 12. I hope you meet Michigan State in the Latex Bowl. Perhaps it will be the rubber match between the two of you.

Oklahoma State – Go Pokes! Pistol Pete Rules!

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KKN’s OSU graduation weekend. Photo by me.

North Carolina – UNC NO NEW NCAA NOA? Not a code or football play. It means the NCAA added no other NOA or Notice of Allegations to UNC’s original violations. Aren’t you on probation? Or is it just men’s basketball and other athletic departments? The new document with NOA does not mention those football and basketball specifically as the original did. And the athletics department is blaming the academics departments for the grading and fraud scandals for the fake, on paperly classes, with fake attendance rolls, which results in fake grades. Good luck and Fedoras off to you.

Baylor – Baylor @ # 23? INYMI or just came out of the cave and have not seen the news, the Bear poo-pooed in the woods of the NCAA and Title IX. The big people got fired – The Art work is gone and even the Starr.

Floyd Casey Stadium 12.03.13 2013-12-03 012 (800x530)

Floyd Casey Stadium. 12.03.2013. Photo by me.

Oregon – Let’s talk about ducks! (Greater Tuna). The Nike uniform gods of glow in the dark yellows and 50 Shades of Green are alive and well.

Florida – Learned at an early age – Never pull for a football team from Florida and especially this one! Besides, the alligator can eat Reveille. What is the alligator’s name? Chomp?

Texas A&M – BTHO ucla!Sully's Boots

March 24, 2016 – Holy Week and I Think Jesus Would Have Played Sports

 

March 24, 2016 – Holy Week and I Think Jesus Would Have Played Sports

I think Jesus probably would have played sports. Of course the only sport of the day was having the Christians eaten by lions and other forms of torture and He was not into that until the end. Thank God. He did seem to enjoy fishing.

I think He would have played soccer, baseball and golf and all other sports. Why those three? Not only are those thinking sports, they are sports known for their diplomacy and etiquette and breaking social and political norms and rules across all geopolitical barriers.

He was good at basketball too – of course He could play all five positions, but is best at point guard. He already had a team – The Disciples.

Of course He would have played football. In Texas football is a religion. I think He would be #1 high school QB, then #1 college QB, and then first round draft choice, and then #1 in the NFL.

But back to Holy Week. For all of us whose religious beliefs go back to The Kneeling Faiths, it is Maundy Thursday. Thus begins The Easter Vigils when Christians celebrate The Last Supper, the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ.

So tonight begins my Easter Vigil. Of course there will be wine and candles and prayers offered. My Easter Vigil begins at 6:37 CST and not one minute SOONER!

BTHO OU!!!

The XIT Wagon (800x600)

Isn’t this a Sooner Schooner?

So here’s to Jesus and The Disciples and The Fighting Texas Aggies Men’s basketball team. Both are great at come backs!

A. Caruso (800x450)

He is so cute!!!