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Friday, October 11 – A Snarky Friday Musical – College Football – Week Seven

Posted on October 11, 2019 | 2 comments

Friday, October 11 – A Snarky Friday Musical – College Football Week Seven

But first, the Football Snark would like to begin with a Big Green and Gold Snark to Baylor and to the idiots who voted Baylor ahead of The Texas Aggies in the top 25. I do not care if you are 5 and 0. Play Clemson, Alabama, Georgia and LSU and then we’ll talk RPI. Oh well, the Aggies don’t have to play Oklahoma or THE University of Texas. Nevertheless, I do hope the Bears open a big can of Brazos River Whoop Ass on Tortilla Tech.

There are only a three games worth watching this Saturday, but each one has critical consequences for conference championships, bowl games and individual honors. Fortunately, the TV Gods and Goddesses of college football programming ensured that we can watch them all one right after another.

First at 11:00 am we have the Red River Rivalry between Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas on Fox. The Horns and the Sooner Fans will be rushing to The Cotton Bowl. Of course, if you know where The Cotton Bowl Stadium is located in Dallas, one knows you do not want to spend a great deal of time without rushing along in the Hood.

So put that Sooner Schooner hat on, get your honey lamb and I and sing along with our first musical number celebrating the game as the winds comes whipping down the plains for…

…We know we belong to the land!
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say, yeeow-a-yip-i-o-ee ay!
We’re only sayin’ You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma, Heisman!

With an encore of …

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, O-K-U!

At 2:30 on CBS (oh crap, does that mean Gary Danielson will announce? Oh yucky face emoji.) The Fighting Texas Aggies, Home of The 12th Man, guarded by Reveille, The Wonder Woman Collie and fans with memories of Johnny Manziel,  host The Rolling Crimson Tide from Alabama. If you’re going a play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in your band.

So tune up those guitars, banjos and fiddles as the residents of The Brazos Valley welcome the Fans of The Alabama Crimson Tide with this musical number. Hit it, Band!

Oh, I come from Alabama

With a banjo on my knee

I’m going to College Station

The Aggies for to see.

Oh that 12th Man, Oh, don’t you yell on me,

But I will then beat Georgia and win the SEC.

It rained all night the day I left

The weather it was dry,

The sun so hot I frozen myself

But that’s the Texas skies!

Oh that 12th Man, Oh don’t you yell on me

But I’ll take of Auburn, a game we want to see.

I had a dream the other night;

When everything was still,

I dreamed I saw Miss Reveille

She was coming down the hill,

A crimson rose was in her mouth

A tear was in her eye

I said it is the last year, so Rev don’t you cry. 

Wait till next year, when Jimbo takes you down,

But welcome to College Station where Aggies are found.

If those two contests do not have you cussing, singing and screaming at the TV, you still have a chance at 7:00 on ESPN when the Legends of Steve Spurrier and the Florida Gators invade Death Valley in Baton Rouge to try to chomp the LSU Tigers. Advance warning: The Gators will wear orange helmets, blue jerseys and blue pants. Anyone ever see a blue alligator?

But on to our final musical number. Since I was a small child, I was taught by my Louisiana relatives, NEVER PULL FOR A TEAM FROM FLORIDA! I also could sing this song until I drank the maroon kool-aid.

So let’s hear it for the Girls in Gold and Purple sequins with the mysterious black bags. and the LSU Marching Band – The Golden Band from Tiger Land. GEAUX TIGERS! Note: the bags are filled with gator bait from Bayou Teche.

And I want to see everybody up and doing a high kick routine toward the end.

Horns Down!

BTHO ALABAMA!

GEAUX TIGERS!

https://youtu.be/YZ4e35_hdjE

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Posted in Alabama, Baylor University, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

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Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Posted on July 19, 2019 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 19, 2019 – Unofficial Snarky Friday

Sometime over this weekend someone will post the number of Saturdays, the actual number of days, and the hours and minutes until college football kickoff. It might be me, but it could any one of you anxiously waiting for our favorite teams to fill the weekend TV screens.

Media Days began on Monday, July 15, and marked the unofficial start of college football season. Therefore, we have the start of Unofficial Snarky Friday. Snarky Friday is where I post my snarky comments regarding college football.

Media Days is the week when representatives from the NCAA Division I football conferences congregated in front of the media. Coaches and young men appear all dressed up, speak and answer questions from various sports media outlets.

This is the time where you hear words and phrases such as:

  • One game at a time
  • Big shoes to fill at that position
  • Big number of starters returning
  • Outstanding freshman
  • Seasoned quarterback
  • Alabama keeps whining (hey I am just paraphrasing ESPN)
  • New head coach and
  • A most difficult schedule.

As you know this blog is about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. Let’s first take a look at the Big 12 – Really Only 10 – Conference. It consists of THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University, seven other schools and Kansas that prays for basketball season to arrive. The Red River Rivalry is going to be fun, fun, fun. Wouldn’t it be ironic if Jalen Hurts won the Heisman?

Now to the – It Just Means More Conference – the SEC. I conducted a comparative analysis of the Texas Aggie Football Schedule and the SEC media days. Here’s what I’m thinking:

Media Day Schools – July 15

Florida – Do Not Care

Missouri – Really Do Not Care

LSU – Happy Thanksgiving! November 30. I shall wear my 7 OT Shirt from last year’s victory.

Media Day Schools – July 16

Mississippi – October 19 – Off to Oxford.

Tennessee – Nope!

Texas A&M – Significantly biased

Georgia – Oh crap! November 23 in Athens and seven days before LSU!

Media Day Schools – Wednesday, July 17

Arkansas – OMG! Winter is coming! September 28 in Arlington with a possibility of Nick Starkle at QB!

I am not sitting next to the damn pig this year.

Alabama – OMG! Winter is coming! October 10. Twelfth Man in the Stands! And in the streets and the whole Brazos Valley.

Mississippi State – OMG! Winter is coming! And so are the cowbells. October 26.

South Carolina – OMG! Winter is coming! But the only chicken we like is the Dixie Chicken.

Media Day Schools – Thursday, July 18

Auburn – September 21 – September 21 – the first of the three A’s. (Auburn, Arkansas and Alabama)

Kentucky – Do Not Care

Vanderbilt – Do Not Care

I am not aware if football schedules are given names that parallel similar physical events. But if so, I would like to name the Texas Aggie football schedule the following:

The 2019 Texas Aggie Football Root Canal, Gynecological/Prostate Exam and Hot Water Enema Schedule

Did I mention the Aggies play Clemson on September 7?

 

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Misc., Native Texan, SEC Media Days, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies

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Monday, June 17, – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Posted on June 17, 2019 | 1 comment

Monday, June 17, 2019 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Recently I have acquired several new followers on Facebook. My blog, Here’s What I’m Thinking is linked to FB and other social media. But you can also access at DrDrD85.me

Therefore, it is time as Saint Madelyn Hunter, Patron Saint of Education, says “it is time to review.”

It is called HWIT because in long, boring and often unproductive meetings I would sit in silence until asked my thoughts. I always began with “here’s what I’m thinking.”

The purpose is made make at least one person smile or laugh. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point. Therefore, it is imperative that you follow and read in the event it is YOU I am writing about. And you better hope I like you or else the results might not favor you.

During the fall I write about college football. I write about the Texas Aggies and all of the other teams of the SEC. It just means more! On Friday’s there is Snarky Friday where the Football Snark reveals her comments on upcoming teams and their games.

Snarky Friday is followed by My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Categories include, but are limited to:

  • Poopy Undies for the teams that scare their fans with close games, (Most of us are still recovering from Texas A&M and LSU from last year.)
  • Worse Uniforms as we often see what, hideous shades of yellow and green Nike premiers in Oregon,
  • Helmets receive their own category which includes subcategories of “best shine, “best possible glow in the dark” and “what is that crappy design on the side?”
  • The Brent Mushmouth Award is given to the Booth Mouths who talk during the game, over the calls, tell what they did in college, second guess the coach, the referees and the fans, seldom actually call what is happening on the field and other mindless mouth dribble,
  • The Zebra Awards, sponsored by the Helen Keller School for Referees, are given to the officials for just about anything,
  • The Big 12 Conference is really only ten schools but only a few count anyway. This is includes THE University of Texas, Baylor, Oklahoma State and Tortilla Tech. I seldom write about the other Big 12 schools until basketball season,
  • And last and never least, The Exploding Head Coach Award is awarded to the head coach who loses it, run on to the field, turns red in the face, and throws down and breaks his head phones. It is always a close race between Uncle Will Muschamp and Nick Saban.

So whether your favorite school Gigs Em, Sics Em, Hooks Em, Rolls the Tide, Geauxs Tigers, Goes Cowboys, Boomers Sooners them, Goes State, or even Tortilla Flings, I got your school. Sometimes I even throw in an Ohio State and Penn State for those friends not fortunate to be from Texas.

While, I, like many others, anxiously wait until kickoff, we do have the College World Series – aka The Post Season SEC Baseball Tournament. Therefore, I proudly award the Poopy Undies to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State for their comeback to win rally over Auburn in the ninth inning. Who names a school after a hair color? Go State! and Roll Tide!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 25, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Things begin to get serious for teams I like and teams that play teams I like. There are few cupcake games on the schedule. Defensive and offensive units begin to solidify. We hope.

Let us begin with Poopy Undies Awards. This is given to the fans of teams who need a change in undergarments due to their team’s performance. The first award goes to the Fighting Texas Aggies for once again defeating the Arkansas Razorbacks in overtime. How many times now Hogs? Doesn’t matter the South Carolina Chickens are coming to College Station.

Poopy Undies Awards must be awarded to the fans of Oklahoma and Baylor. To go with your Poo Poo Undies Award, OU, you also receive The Never Under Estimate your Opponent Award.

Boomer Sooner Baylor Bust. Photo by Debbie

While we are giving bodily function awards, let us proceed to the Pepto Bismal Awards for upsets.

  • Florida – 28 Kentucky – 27 – Gator kick field goal to win as time expires. Basketball season begins soon!
  • Florida State 21 NC State 27- Good bye to the Top 25 for the Seminoles.
  • TCU – 44 Oklahoma State -31 – Pissed Off Pistol Pete in Stillwater. Frogs rising and making things interesting in the Big 12.

The Southern Ladies Arts and Crafts Ideas for During Game Award goes to those who endured the Mississippi State loss to Georgia. Bully 3 and UGA 31.

Ladies, may I suggest implementing a Cursing Jar on game day? This is for those whose language often becomes colorful when one is forced to utter expletive deleteds as he or she watches in horror as their alma mater has no defense and no offense. With each play, drop a quarter into a plastic jar. Jars should be plastic to avoid breakages when thrown at the television.

This Curse Fund can add up quickly. During the Texas Aggie/UCLA game I made five dollars during the fourth quarter alone. Variations may include quarters for one syllable curses; two quarters for compound words; and a $1.00 for compound words and phrases questioning one’s religion and one’s birth mother.

The only Big Solid Award for Defense goes to Texas Aggie Armani Watts for intercepting the pass in the end zone to end the game in OT and seal a victory for the Aggies.

To the official from The Hellen Keller School of Officiating, we give the Right Foot Wrong Foot Award. This is given for calling the Aggie QB out of bounds when it was actually the defender who was out of bounds. Does the “S” stand for Sightless?

Photo by Barrett Sallee, from Twitter.

The last awards are the fashion awards. First the team – to Baylor. Not exactly ugly, but the black and gold lame (pronounced “lay may”) numbers did not work for me. But hey, if works, then keep on wearing. Also, do you know how long it took me to find out how to spell lame? And now I can’t find the little punctuation thing show it is French prounced‘lamay’ and not ‘lame’ as the team was before.

The final fashion award for Worst Dressed goes to Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema. Yes, that sweat shirt made you look frumpy. It looked like a last minute pick up off the floor fashion decision. Show some dressing!

I apologize for no awards to the Biggies this week as each had no trouble with their opponent – Alabama, Ohio State and Clemson. Here’s a Dr. Pepper and boys’ medium shirt from Larry, Doug Flutie and Boston College.

I wonder if South Carolina will take the mascot to the Dixie Chicken next Saturday. BTHO South Carolina. Maybe we’ll tailgate. I’ll bring chicken tacos!

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

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Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

Posted on September 22, 2017 | 1 comment

Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

It is the First Day of Fall. The temperature is an unpleasant and humid 90 degrees in Texas.

Hope The Fighting Texas Aggie Band looks as good in Jerry World in Dallas as in Kyle Field last week. Photo by KB.

Starting our football day on ESPN at 11:00 AM. in the morning, we have The Hopefully Fighting Texas Aggies versus the Arkansas Razorbacks in the SEC opener for both teams. Sing it Willie Nelson, It’s gonna be a Bloody Mary Morning. Hopefully it will be served with an extra-large side of bacon, sausage and a pork chop. I imagine the frying pan will very hot for both coaches.

Speaking of a coach’s butt sitting in the frying pan, on ABC at 11:00 you will find the Red Raiders from Texas Tech playing the University of Houston Cougars in a match-up of former Big 12 quarterbacks now head coaches. We find in the frying pan Tech Coach, Former Tech QB, Kliff Kingsbury. Opposite will be former QB at THE University of Texas, Major Applewhite. Hook ‘Em! And Go Cougar High! Remember Tech does not play defense.

I am not so certain I would be screaming “Guns Up” in TDECU Stadium in Houston. Sidebar: The official name of the stadium is derived from Texas Dow Employees Credit Union (TDECU), the largest credit union in Houston, which purchased its naming rights in the largest-ever naming rights deal for a college football stadium.

On CBS at a most reasonable hour of 2:30 Alabama travels to Nashville to meet Vanderbilt in their SEC opener. Vandy, you gonna need a lot more than Lionel Richie and The Commodores trying to sing country in Nashville. ROLL TIDE!

Photo by Kristen

Following the Aggies and Hogs we have TCU and Oklahoma State on ESPN @ 2:30. This game has potential. Go Pokes!

The David and Goliath Game is between Baylor and Oklahoma. Nothing sounds worse rising over The Brazos River above McLane Stadium than Boomer Soomer all evening long. Oh, the game is on FS 1 at 5:30 in the event you are interested.

 

Veterans Park, College Station Texas. Photo by me.

That game could be over by 6:00 when it time to switch to any other game on TV. I will be watching ESPN and the dog fight between Bully and UGA or Mississippi State versus the University of Georgia. Let the Cowbells ring in Athens on Saturday night. Going to need some Big Solid Defense.

Of course I will be accessing all of my screens (I know JH, you have screen envy) as I check on other contests looking for close scores; ugly uniforms/helmets, and exploding coaches.

BTHO Arkansas!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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Friday, August 4, 2017 – Everything’s Coming Up Football – IT’S TODAY!!!

Posted on August 4, 2017 | 2 comments

Friday, August 4, 2017 – Everything’s Coming Up Football – IT’S TODAY!!!

College football season officially begins today as teams begin practice. I am so excited I am going to get a penalty for excess celebration. I chose a song to celebrate.

The version of the song is sung by Tony Award winner,Patti LuPone, from the 2008 Broadway revival of Gypsy. In fact her second Tony Award was for Gypsy.

There is not a great deal of action in the video. Rather it is Ms. LuPone’s powerful voice that captures the moment. Click on the YouTube and scroll down and sing along. I took the liberty of changing a few words here and there.

https://youtu.be/Wop8yyVcgY8

I had a dream, a dream about you, baby. It’s gonna come true, baby. They think that we’re through, but baby…

You’ll be swell! You’ll be great! Gonna have the whole world on the TV! Starting here, starting now, Honey, everything’s coming up football!

Clear the fields! Check the refs! You’ve got nothing to do but relax.

Gig ‘Em Ags!

Roll Tide Roll! Honey, everything’s coming up football!

Now’s your timing; Stand the world on it’s ear! Set it spinning! That’ll be just the beginning!

Sic ‘Em Bears! Go Pokes Go! You got nothing to fear but OU!

You’ll be swell. You’ll be great. I can tell. Just you wait. That lucky star I talk about is due! Honey, everything’s coming up football for me and for you!

You can do it. All you need is a band. We can do it, Twelfth Man is gonna see to it!

LSU!

 

Hook ‘Em Horns! We got nothing to hit but the heights! I can tell, wait and see. There’s the bell! Follow me!

And nothing’s gonna stop us ’til we’re through! Honey, everything’s coming up football and trophies,Everything’s coming up sunshine and Saturdays, Everything’s gonna be bright lights and bowl games,

Everything’s coming up football for me and for you!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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Friday, December 2, 2016 – Conference Championship Weekend and the Way Way Back Machine!

Posted on December 2, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, December 2, 2016 – Conference Championship Weekend and the Way Way Back Machine!

Before we begin, let us review (Saint Madeline, Patron Saint of Education). It is Snarky Friday. I only write about college football teams I like and/or play teams that I like. However, it is the “Be nice, not naughty” season so I am trying reel in the Snark. Please stop laughing.

The Conference Championship for the conference formerly known as The Big 12 will play their faux conference championship in Oklahoma when Bedlam breaks out between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Oklahoma State Cowboys. The Cowboys are coached by the man voted “Best Mullet in College Football,” Mike Gundy. Let’s go Cowboys! “Hell is coming and we’re coming with ‘Em.” Go Pokes!

OSU 1 - Copy (800x550)

The Southeast Conference Championship is between # 1 Alabama and Florida. DROWN THE GATORS! DRAIN THE SWAMP! TASTE LIKE CHICKEN! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! ROOOOOLLLLLL TIDE! Go Jalen. At least you can make Texas football proud.

I am sure I would look cute in an Alabama championship shirt of some kind. It’s not like Bama Fans don’t have a zillion of them. A nice hound’s tooth hat would look cute on me too. Just saying. I would have posted a pic.

But before college there is high school. The Way Back Machine was in action yesterday. In fact it was in way, way back mode. Check out what Magnolia history I uncovered in the family storage. Magnolia High School yearbooks. These are from 1946-1952.

magnolia-hs-yearbooks-800x450

I quickly glanced through them and saw names such as: Groves, Cronin, Flemings (both sets), Carraways, Smith (as in Toby and Cedric) Buckalew, Grogan, Wade, Sanders, Evans, Covingtons, Harpers, Hanks, Graves, Deans (all sets of them too,) Damuths, Ricketts, Davenports, Purvis, Lott and so many more. There are some great photos of the old school, including the old cafeteria. I cannot wait to start sharing. Nothing like a picture of ya’ll in elementary school.

The weather is supposed to turn chilly this weekend. Perhaps these letter jackets will keep you warm with Magnolia memories.

mhs-jackets-800x450

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Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

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Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 14, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Ship wreck 4

GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!

Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.

Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.

The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.

Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.

First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.

In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?

THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.

The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.

The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10.   Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?

The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:

Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!

The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.

The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.

And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.

The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:

Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.

Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!

Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.

Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”

Twelfth Man (800x600)

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Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Posted on September 16, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football

Let’s begin with last evening’s tryouts for the Big 12 Conference. Our contest was between the University of Houston and WKRP in Cincinnati. I vote no to Cincinnati. While those really creepy black masks will go very well in parts of Texas and especially in Lubbock, are Cincinnati and the state of Ohio aware that Texas is an open carry state for handguns? Wearing masks is frowned up and tends to lead to unwanted unpleasantries in states where we are packing heat.

My second reason to vote no were those migraine causing flapping black and white tube things. This is equal to the obnoxious cowbells from Mississippi State and the seizure causing blue football field of Boise State. UH Cougars 40 WKRP Cincinnati Bearkats 16, but much closer than the score indicates.

Tonight we shall be treated to an old Southwest Conference rivalry – Baylor and Rice at Rice Stadium @ 7:00 on ESPN. Beware of the MOB, Bears. You have lots of garbage of which the Marching Owl Band can make fun.

# 1 Alabama and # 19 Ole Miss 2:30 CBS – The Tide Rolls into The Grove in Oxford. This could prove to be a game requiring multiple toddies. Coach Sabin does not want to lose for a third time to the Rebels. John and BJ and Lisa and Ric and Hopper, please know virtual CPR and breathing exercises are available via texts. I shall expect the same at 6:00 against Auburn. Roll Tide.

What programming idiots scheduled these games at the same time? I will have carpel thumb syndrome from the remote. Set those TIVOs to record.

Texas A&M and Auburn at 6:00 ESPN at Auburn. Aubie is the official tiger mascot of Auburn University. According to Wikipedia “Aubie is an anthropomorphic tiger.” Reveille IX is the mascot of Texas A&M. Reveille is a real collie. Rev 3 (800x600)

I don’t know what anthropomorphic means other than it sounds like Aubie can’t go to the bathroom in North Carolina. BTHO Auburn.

Mississippi State and LSU at 6:30 on ESPN2 in Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge. This could be a For Whom the Cow Bells Toll. I am thinking the Tigers better bring their A game. Otherwise those obnoxious cowbells will be running Miles down the road.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Ohio State and OU 6:30 Fox – Lots of red, white and grey for this one. And that is just the wine list and vodka suggestion. Seeds and Sooners in Norman.

Michigan State and Notre Dame at 6:30 on the Notre Dame Network, NBC. I shall anxiously await your texts, Mr. RL. Go Spartans!

USC and #7 Stanford at 7 on ABC. Trojans versus Cardinal. Big rivalry at stake in the Pac 12. I am going with the brainiacs.

THE University of Texas and California Berkley at 9:30 on ESPN. Bevo and the Bears. Still courting the PAC 12, Texas? Hook ‘Em Hippies! Longhorn Band (800x600)

BTHO Auburn.

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