Tag Archives: Texas Longhorns

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Posted on November 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas

Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.

First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.

The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.

With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.

Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.

Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.

This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.

In Other Awards

The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.

The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.

The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.

This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.

Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.

This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.

The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?

It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.

The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.

http://www.gobearkats.com/ViewArticle.dbml?SPSID=92955&SPID=11345&DB_LANG=C&ATCLID=211310989&DB_OEM_ID=19900

Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, LSU, Oklahom University, Oklahoma State University, OU, Roll Tide, Sam Houston State Bearkats, Sam Houston State University, SEC, TCU, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Backstory for the new kids on the blog – I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. If your team is not mentioned let me know and I take it under consideration.

First from the West Coast – USC versus Oregon – I don’t even know the score, but you both receive the Rubber Duck Award.

Next on the list we have the Small 12 Conference or The Land of No Defenses.

THE University of Texas survived the plains of Lubbock with a victory over Tortilla Tech. (THE University 45 TT 37.) My favorite team is whoever is playing Tech. Tech (800x600)

Oklahoma State 43 K-State 37. Mullet Mike and The Cowboys survive. Both of you win a Poopy Undies Award for scaring your fans.

The Kick Off to Tip Off Awards goes to Baylor and TCU for posting a basketball score of TCU 62 Baylor 22 on the opening weekend of college basketball season. And the score was not the only Uglies coming from Waco.

An Ugly Uniform Award goes to Baylor. Fifty shades of Waco is not becoming. Gray is not colorful. Neither is black as in the black cloud of ugly that seems to be a stationary front over the institution. Therefore, Baylor also receives the Frozen Award – Let It Go!

Look, Bears Pooping in the Woods, it is bad enough without constant reminders of ugly. Please do not hang dirty laundry out your windows. Who gets the sales from the T-shirts? cab-sign-out-suit-copy-800x600 Focus on the low level bowl game invitation you will now receive.

Letting go of that, let’s move on to the Top 10 and the SEC where games are more exciting and stressful.

The Bringing Home the Alligator Bacon goes to the Hogs of Arkansas! (Arkansas 31 Florida 10) Sooey Pig over 11th ranked Florida. Another favorite team is whoever is playing any school from Florida.

To players Chip Kelly of Ole Miss; Trevor Knight and Myles Garrett of Texas A&M, the Nebraska QB and all the others: All of you receive the Heal Quickly Award. Will miss you next weekend, Chip. I wanted to see you play against the Aggies.

And now the top tiered top ten college football awards. These 10 teams are listed according to today’s AP listings. Tomorrow we see who The Selection Committee votes for the Who’s In Top Four. Larry Culpepper and Dr. Pepper seem to be winning above all the others.

# 1 Alabama and LSU – (Bama 10 – LSU 0) Please share the following awards:

Best Football Game of the Weekend
A Special Edition of Poopy Undies Award
The “I Did Not Know I Could Hold My Breath for 47 Minutes” Award.
Defense – please share your videos with schools of the schools of the Small 12 Conference and perhaps these others listed below.

# 2 Michigan Maryland (Michigan 59 MD 3.) Michigan wins the Turtle Wax Award for waxing the Terrapins. Wolverines like turtles.

# Clemson and Syracuse (Clemson 54 Syracuse 0) – Clemson Wins the Too Much Orange on the Field Award.

# 4 Washington and Cal (formerly known as Berkley.) (Washington 66 Cal 27) Huskies receive the In the Right Rankings Now Award.

# 5 Louisville and Boston College (Louisville 52 BC 7) – Lamar Looking Heisman Good Award.

# 6 Ohio State and Nebraska (Ohio State 62 Nebraska 3) – The Huskers receive the Fun While It Lasted Award. Corn headwear really looks stupid when you lose to a nut named Bucky.

The Really Don’t Deserve an Award goes to the following:

# 7 Wisconsin and Northwestern (Wisconsin 21 Northwestern 7) – Badgers preparing for a bowl game where it is warm.

# 8 AUBURN? AUBURN! A hair color? You beat Vanderbilt by a touchdown 23 – 16! ROLL TIDE!

# 9 OU versus Iowa State (OU 34 Iowa State 24) – Bedlam is coming soon and The Cowboys are coming with it!

Coming in at # 10 is Texas A&M – where the Aggies should have been in the first place. (Texas A&M 28 Mississippi State 35) What a shipwreck in Starksville.

Aggies you receive a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Award because we sucked as bad as the referees. Even I saw the block in the back on Captain Kirk’s punt return. Aggies win Pooper Scooper Award for leaving lots of it on the field.

Pooper Scoopers (800x599)

Nevertheless, “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…” and we do not lose – time on the clock runs out. We got your back, Jake! barn-n-park-9-22-16-2016-09-22-041-800x530

Tomorrow we see who the College Football Selection Committee votes for and who the citizens of The United States of America votes for. Please do not forget to cast your ballot. PS – we do not get to vote with the Selection Committee.

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies, Uncategorized

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, college football, Crimson Tide, LSU, Oklahoma State University, TCU, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, October 28, 2016 – Snarky Friday, Football, Maroon Madness and GO CUBS!

Posted on October 28, 2016 | 2 comments

Maroon Madness – Unveiling of the Men’s 2016 SEC Conference Championship Banner.

Friday, October 28, 2016 – Snarky Friday, Football, Maroon Madness and GO CUBS! Click to see more Maroon Madness and comments.

It is another fun filled weekend of sports so let’s get started. The Aggies of Texas A&M are playing the Aggies of New Mexico at 6:30 on ESPNU in The Aggie Cupcake Bowl.

Fifteen minutes prior to Aggie Cupcake kick off on the SEC Network the Auburn Tigers go against the Rebels of Ole Miss. A victory over the Rebels would be most appreciated in Aggieland.

Other cupcake action has Texas Southern playing the #1 CFB Sam Houston Bearkats on ESPN3. This could be the Bearkats year to be #1.

The Game of Interest is THE University of Texas hosting the Baylor Bears on ABC at 2:30. This game is interesting for many reasons and not all of them are good.

And in the evening at 7:00 PM Game Two of the we have the history making World Series between the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Cubs on Fox. GO CUBS! I do not believe I have ever seen so much winter gear worn during a baseball game.

Here are some pics from last evening’s Maroon Madness tipping off the start of basketball season. Be sure to read my comments- especially you, RL.

Maroon Madness 2016 Hard to see the men’s team to the right, but they do seem to be in the spotlight.

GB and Lashes. I did not know GB could move that quickly.

White Men Can’t Dance

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, humor, Native Texan

Tagged Auburn, Baylor, Big 12 Conference, College Football; Texas Aggies, ESPN, Maroon Madness, Ole Miss, SEC, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, The University of Texas

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Posted on October 3, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Tequila shots and Poo Poo Undies Awards for Every college team except Alabama! What the hell – give the Tide a Poo Poo Undies Award for use later.

I will also award Alabama and LSU The Manicure Award for being the only games that were not nail biters or heart attack givers.

With Monday after comments, let’s begin.

THE University of Texas is awarded:

The Shoot Out at the OK (State) Corral.

The Where’s Waldo – aka Rudolph? Where’s the ball? Where’s the Texas Defense? Look- I am a old woman who never played a down of football but who could catch a pass in that defensive strategy. PS – the ball is seen just above the 25 yard line.

The Cowgirl and/or the Horse Could Have Kicked Better Award. Notice the rider does not wear a black mask or a cape like you know who. I guess these Cowboys do not need to hide their face.

The Block Party Award

Thank you KK for such great pics and D for holding the paper. Go Pokes!

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.0 is awarded to Baylor University. Baylor 45 Iowa State 42 A three week Bye? That is right – only 10 teams in the Conference formerly known as The Big 12.

The first Premature Celebration Award goes to Florida State University for scoring a go ahead touchdown with 23 seconds remaining in the game. FSU 35 UNC 34.

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.01 is awarded to University of North Carolina for kicking a 54 yard field goal as time expires. UNC 37 FSU 35.

The Exploding Pumpkin Head for Coaches is shared – first by Bob Stoops from OU when the Cooper’s call went against the Sooners and then TCU’s Gary Patterson when the call was reversed. OU 52 TCU 46.

The second Premature Celebration Award goes to Georgia for scoring on a Hail Mary pass with 10 seconds left in the game. Bulldogs 31 Tennessee Vols 28.

The Hail Mary Joshua Fit the Final Battle of the SEC East Award goes to Joshua Dobbs and Jauan Jennings for the last play of the game. Tennessee 34 Georgia 31. Back to back successful Hail Mary passes! Where are my nitro glycerin pills?

The Just When I thought I was Calm Award goes to Clemson and Louisville.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Louisville for coming up one yard shy on Fourth Down as the time expires. Clemson 42 – Louisville – 36. Shake it off, Cardinals. I understand Cougar meat taste like Tiger meat.

The Getta the Hell Out of Town Fast with a W Award is awarded to The Fighting Texas Aggies and Coach Sumlin. Texas A&M 24 South Carolina 13

The No Let Up Award goes to Texas A&M and tu – not the tu orange that burnt up in Stillwater. It is the faded orange that resembles checkered table cloths washed in bleach. Tennessee is coming to town! # 8 Texas Aggies and # 9 Tennessee Volunteers. 2:30 CBS Kyle Field Saturday, October 8, 2016. Note to non-football people – STAY AWAY from Bryan College Station probably officially beginning Thursday. This place is already going wild and crazy and it’s only Monday. WHOOP!

barn-n-park-9-22-16-2016-09-22-041-800x530

Gig ‘Em Barn – Highway 6 photo by me. 9.22.2016

Note to self: Check liquor supply. Ensure all calming drugs are up to date. And Who’s Cooper?

BTHO Tennessee!

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Posted in College Football, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, ESPN, Georgia, LSU, Oklahoma State University, SEC, Steve Patterson; The University of Texas; Charlie Strong, TCU, Texas Longhorns, University of Tennessee

Friday, August 19, 2016 – Snarky Friday –Only Fifteen More Days

Posted on August 19, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, August 19, 2016 – Snarky Friday –Only Fifteen More Days

For you new readers, during the fall Snarky Friday is my preview of Saturday’s college football games. Since we are still 15 days away from kick off, I do not want to jump off sides and begin football snark until later this month.

Tailgating at Bama Game 2015

Therefore today the snarks are random.

From the Olympics – Looks like the US swimmers peed in the pool by getting robbed, not getting robbed; telling lies, being detained by the government and causing a general embarrassment to us all. Was Johnny Manziel with you?
From the news – Where is your chaos? This is not a philosophical or existentialist question. In listening to the TV news, the reporter said, “During the shootings, one woman was shot in the chaos.” I have yet to find an image of my chaos on Google Images.
From politics – Donald Trump is going to do away with shredded cheese in order to make America grate again. Also overheard is that if elected he plans to forbid pole vaulting along the Mexican border. On the other side of the political spectrum, just fill in the blank with your own adjectives. God help us all.
From entertainment – Five Major Things you can expect to see in Fifty Shades Freed. There is another Fifty-Shades of Gray movie! Please say no. It took me 50 shots of Grey Goose to read all three books of this crap. I kept thinking I would find something redeemable. Five major things you can expect to see – 1. Me 2. Me 3. Me 4. Me and 5. Me NOT at the movies.
From College Football – Fifteen Days until Kick-Off – BTHO UCLA.
I can say I have run through the tunnel onto Kyle Field. Tour of Kyle Field 2015. Photo by me.

PS – Note to Longhorns! Please do not let Texas Tech win the last of the Big 12 Conference. It is bad enough when OU wins. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

Photo by Martha!

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Donald Trump, Fifty Shades of Gray, Hillary Clinton, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies, Texas Longhorns, US Olympic swimmers

Thursday, May 19, 2016 – The Memories Implode – Floyd Casey Stadium

Posted on May 19, 2016 | 3 comments

Thursday, May 19, 2016 – The Memories Implode – Floyd Casey Stadium

On Saturday, May 14, 2016, Floyd Casey Stadium, home of Baylor Bears Football was imploded. https://vimeo.com/167029200

With the falling concrete and rising dust memories of good times and not so good times, filled the memory banks of players, coaches, spectators, graduates and even rivals.

On December 3, 2013 I drove to Waco to take photographs of Floyd Casey Stadium. The temperature was 87 degrees. I wore shorts and a T-shirt.

My photographs show the perfect light and the last day the sun would shine on Floyd Casey Stadium. No photograph is retouched.

On December 7, 2013 the last football game in the stadium was played between Baylor and The University of Texas. The temperature was 14 degrees. I was home by the fire.

Oh yes, the Baylor Bears were victorious in their last game in Floyd Casey Stadium. Who did they defeat? Why, the Texas Longhorns.

How many days until kick off? As a few minutes ago, it was 99 days, 48 minutes and 22 seconds.

Countdown clock: https://days.to/until/ncaa-season

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Posted in College Football, Education, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Baylor Bears, College football countdown clock, Floyd Casey Stadium, Texas Longhorns, The University of Texas

Tuesday, May, 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – or Déjà vu all over again.

Posted on May 10, 2016 | 1 comment

Tuesday, May, 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – or Déjà vu all over again.

Given that I somehow picked up a cyber bucket load of friends over the weekend I thought I better tell everyone about Here’s What I’m Thinking again. I am already wondering how many have Unfollowed or Unfriended me already.

I write a weblog called Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT). The blog then connects to Facebook and other social media sites. The easiest way to read what I am thinking about is to Google Drdrd85.me. It should take you directly to the website.

The purpose is to make at least one person smile/laugh or think every day – Monday through Friday and sometimes on the weekend. Notice: it is not called Here’s What I Believe. Nor it is called Here’s What I think You Should Believe.

During the seasons (college football and college basketball) I write about sports. But it is not your ordinary sports column – mine include critiques of all fashion attire from the press box to the field. “Bent Mushberger? Who dressed you this morning? Please retire and go away.”

Monday is always My Monday after Football Weekend Awards. You can almost bet money that The Ugliest Uniform Award will go to the West Coast and probably from Oregon. Is there NIKE factory just for pukey yellow?

I write about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. This includes The Fighting Texas Aggies, the LSU Tigers, the rest of the SEC except for Florida and any school from that peninsula. I write about Uncle Will Muschamp at SC or whatever school happens to have hired him. I write about the Baylor Bears, THE University of Texas at Austin and what is left of the Big 12 Conference, the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks and Notre Dame or RL and refer to them as the NBC Network Conference.

Sidebar: Alabama. I have nothing to say about the school at the moment. But I know if I do not specifically mention Alabama, the Roll Tide Roll readers will comment.

Somedays I think about politics. Since none of us seem to know what to think about this year’s presidential election, I am a bipartisan snark. For example: Please sign the petition to get Hillary to stop wearing the green brocade jacket. It looks like you made it from the parlor curtains. Or perhaps to Mr. Trump – Sir, if elected will you have your private plane repainted as Air Force One or will you purchase a new one?”

I seem to have a diverse group of readers representing many views and experiences. Please know I respect you and your views. While I may disagree with you on some issues I will defend to the death and Remember the Alamo your right to say it.

Some days I write about the Texas public education system and the educational institution. You think the loss of cursive writing is an issue. See what else is happening to the youth of America.

As the first Native Born Texan in the family, I post many topics about Texas.

My Proud to be from Texas Wall.

But as my dear Mama used to say “The only thing that separates a Coon Ass from a Jack Ass is the Sabine River.” Some days Louisiana gets the topic de jour. See French. Good, huh?

And of course I write about my family and friends. This is how I get readers. They live in fear of what I am going to say. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point in time. You should hope I refer to you with a loving nickname because I like you and only you know who you are. If I don’t like you, I might add all of your personal information including a MapQuest link to your house.

At least 98% of what I post is my original work including photographs. The remaining 2% comes from other postings only if I am impressed or too lazy to post my own work. If I use some one’s photo, I try to give credit to the photographer or from whose collection I borrowed it.

That is a summary of Here’s What I Thinking. Thank you for reading. I hope you find something along the way to make you smile or think about.

Photo by me.

CC: Hillary Clinton’s email server

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, Education, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Big 12 Conference, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, LSU, NCAA, Notre Dame, SEC, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, The University of Texas

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

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Posted in College Football

Tagged Auburn, Baylor, college football, LSU, mascots, Oklahoma State University, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on October 23, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football – Game On

First – my apology to Myles Garrett for misspelling his name last week.

The Schedule today begins with The Rain Barrel Bowls up and down Texas Interstate 35.

Starting in Austin and playing @ 11:00 on Fox 1 is THE University of Texas and Kansas State. Tell the Wildcats they are no longer in Kansas and give them a good hooking of the Horns. I have your photograph ready to post Roomie signifying a home win and winning streak for the Horns in DKR Memorial Stadium! Stay Strong and get it done!

Traveling north to Waco we find the Iowa State Weather Patterns visiting Waco and playing Baylor @ 11:00 on ESPN. I understand one is to wear green and gold depending on your ticket location. This will make McLane Stadium green and gold striped. I know you can get yellow (gold) rain slickers at Academy, but can you get green rain slickers? Is Nike working on that? Surely with that many uniforms and shades of green Nike has got something in the warehouse they can Fed-Ex to Waco for the fans.

Crossing the state line into Norman along I-35 we find Oklahoma and Texas Tech @ 2:30 on ESPN2. I wonder what Baker and Stoops and Coach Kliff and the Red Raiders have planned against and up their respectively sleeves besides a rough history.

Taking a right turn and headed toward Stillwater we find the Cowboys of Oklahoma State playing Kansas @ 2:30 on Fox 1 and slowing creeping up in the Big 12. Go Pokes. It’s Kansas. Remember they play basketball like Kentucky does.

Remember there are only 10 teams in the Big 12 and eight are playing. So that leaves TCU and WVa having the weekend off.

Now to the games that actually have meaning (the only ones worth watching) so that means the SEC teams because Ohio State plays Rutgers.

Opposite the Rain Barrel Bowls on the SECN @ 11:00 am will be Auburn and Arkansas with last place up for grabs in the SEC West. Do you like bacon on your burger Uncle Will Muschamp?

What once could have been interesting is now Alabama and Tennessee in Tuscaloosa @ 2:30. Oh no – the game is on CBS. I hope you do not get the Can’t Broadcast S##% announcers. Turn on the radio broadcast to avoid.

And going out with The Tide here is a little Thank You shout out to Coach Sabin regarding last week’s visit to Aggieland –

“You know, this is the first place we’ve played for a long, long time, that we never got booed when we came out,” Saban said. “First place. I’m telling you. It’s a really nice facility. They had 105,000 people. And they cheered their tail off for their team. And they made it hard for us to play.” ESPN quotes somewhere on their application.

At 3:00 on the SEC Network will be another game for last place in the SEC East with Missouri and Vanderbilt. Take a nap, but be up and ready for the only games of competition beginning at 6:00.

On ESPNU @ 6:00 we find Western Kentucky visiting Baton Rouge hosted by Leonard Fournette’s team the LSU Tigers. Run Leonard run. With each step you get a bit closer to going to New York to get a big trophy.

At 6:30 in another game of why are play this team? This is Mississippi State and Kentucky on the SECN. This is not Western Kentucky which I suppose is geographically west of the Kentucky that Mississippi State is playing. I understand the men’s basketball team at Kentucky is quite good. Yes – Number 1.

At 6:30 on Fox is the Utah Utes (I just love saying that) and USC Trojans in Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. If Utah should become number two in The Committee’s ranking in November, will they be “the two Utes?” (My Cousin Vinny)

But the only game of significance is the Cutbirth Bowl (as in William Cutbirth Faulkner) on ESPN from Oxford Mississippi @ 6:00 when the Ole Miss Rebels host The Fighting Texas Aggies. It is an elimination game for the SEC West title. Should make visits to Baton Rouge interesting for both teams. But one game at a time.

So Howdy Damnit and Hotty Toddy and BTHO Ole Miss.

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Big 12 Conference, Crimson Tide, LSU, Nick Sabin, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, TCU, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies; football, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 5, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Our Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word “amphigory.” Amphigory is a noun meaning “a meaningless or nonsensical piece of writing, especially one intended as a parody.” A quote – “it is the mother of all miscellanies, aka an amphigory, a medley, a pot-pourri, a gallimaufry, a salmagundi, and omnium-gatherum, a vade mecum, a smorgasbord. Robert McCrum, “God bless you Mr. Schott, The Guardian, December 7, 2002. (Dictionery.com)

Yes, all of those words will be on your assessment exam because they so describe Here’s What I’m Thinking and I have no idea what most of them mean. – Vade mecum?

But if that don’t describe the chaotic weekend of college football… Here is your ado, so further it by reading on.

To the horrible broadcasters of the Texas Aggie/Mississippi State game on the SECN – Brent Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer. What is the deal? Are you somebody’s brother-in-law? Son-in-law? Do you have video of people? I am not certain, Mr. Palmer, but I think you are supposed to give equal time to both teams. Did you not even pick up an A&M media guide? You get the Mute Button Award.

The Most Points Award goes to the Baylor Bears 63- 35 over Texas Tech. I do not think these bears are going into hibernation anytime soon.

However, it is a tie for Ugliest Uniforms between those bleached-out TCU lavender tops and the drab grey, olive and yellow uniforms of Baylor. Who is your uniform rep? Stevie Wonder?

There are several Poo-Poo Undies Awards that go to:

Michigan State
Ohio State
Oklahoma State

For having close games and scaring the poo out of your fan base. That # 1 Spot is looking very shaky, Buckeyes. Larry Culpepper is watching.

FYI – It was accurratte, that the officials from The Big 12 apologized for the bad calls by the referees. They were not accurrette when they established the line of scrimmage. The Spell Check Award goes to The Big 12. Is that accurratte?

The Pepto-Bismol for Dismal Awards goes the teams that were upset: These are:

UCLA – by Arizona State
Ole Miss by Florida
Notre Dame by Clemson
The State of South Carolina by Floods

Speaking of Dismal – The Train wreck Award goes THE University of Texas. I have no other words to say save – it could get worse. OU+CH = OUCH next Saturday. Next week UT players can tweet at half-time and call for Uber to come pick them up and just head on over to the State Fair of Texas.

Auburn wins the Dionne Warwick award for knowing “the way to San Jose.” Now do you know the way back to the SEC?

The Rain and Let’s Build an Ark Awards goes to:

Ole Miss vs Florida – the Florida team had the flu all week; the Swamp floods and the Rebels sink.
Notre Dame vs Clemson – Death Valley floods and the Irish sink.
Georgia vs. Alabama – The Tide was even Rising from the sky.

And to The Crimson Tide of Alabama I am giving them the William T. Sherman Award as they “…sing the jubilee; hoorah, hoorah, the flag that makes us free; while we sang a chorus from Atlanta to the sea – While they were marching Through Georgia.”

And to The Fighting Texas Aggies – I am awarding the Reveille is so much prettier than Bully Award. Not to mention she does not drool and she wears clothes.

The QB of the Game Award goes to Kyle Allen of Texas A&M. The stats on passing leaders: