Tag Archives: college football

Friday, October 8, 2021 – Snarky Friday College Football

Friday, October 8, 2021 – Snarky Friday College Football

From Famous Flop Songs

There’re be a hot hot time in Lakehurst, New Jersey when the Hindenburg lands today.

Well the Hindenburg busted in Kyle Field last weekend, thus making the most anticipated, most wanted, most desired football game of the season MOOT!

MOOT MOOT! Texas A&M v Alabama at 7:00 on CBS. NOOOO! Not Motor Mouth, Gary Danielson calling the game??? He hates both the TIDE and the Aggies. I feel certain the feelings are mutual.

If the Aggies win the toss to start the game, I will count that as a victory. The only thing we can hope for is a mild case of food poisoning going through the first team offense and first team defense.

However, the one thing that Alabama should be concerned about is: Once again, Schrodinger, You don’t know if the cat is dead or alive. However, we’ll know after the first offensive or the first defensive series.

Who at network programming scheduled all of these games at 11:00? He or she needs to be fired! They obviously have never experienced the night before a football game.

Maryland and Ohio State at 11:00 on Fox. Way too early in the day to see your ugly helmets.

West Virginia at Baylor at 11:00 on FS1. Sic ‘Em Bears. Mildly entertaining, but again, Ugly Uniforms could be in play. (HA – Get it! In Play?)

South Carolina at Tennessee on ESPN2 at 11:00. Boring.

Vanderbilt  at Florida at 11:00 SECN – Pitifully boring. Is there a seventy point rule?

Here are THE games to ready your screens.

Oklahoma and THE University of Texas at 11:00 on ABC in The Red River Rivalry or The Red River Showdown. This game used to be called The Red River Shoot Out, but the two states began to take the term literally. Dallas area bars and watch parties will be rocking as far away as Plano and Frisco.

Arkansas and Ole Miss at 11:00 on ESPN – Got your popcorn ready, Lane? Don’t forget to plug in the microwave.

Georgia plays Auburn at 2:30 on CBS. Oooh! Maybe Gary D will call this one, fall down and sprain his mouth and have to go to the hospital.

TCU is on the plains playing Tortilla Tech at 6 on ESPN. No comment.

Temple and Cincinnati at ESPN at 6:00. Is Temple a Jewish institution? Or is it named after Shirley?

LSU at Kentucky at 6:30 on SECN. LSU and TAMU in the Independence Bowl?

Notre Dame at Virginia Tech 6:30 on ACCN – I want to see the Hokie Pokie all four quarters in hopes that all that glitters is not those gold helmets.

Nevertheless, The 12th Man would like to say WELCOME TO THE ALABAMA TIDE! Please know it will be the loudest welcome you have this season. Bring your ear plugs!

BTHO ALABAMA!

Friday, October 1, 2021 – Happy First of October and Happy Snarky Friday – Week Five

Friday, October 1, 2021 – Happy First of October and Happy Snarky Friday – Week Five

Good Day. I am here today with Dr. Sheldon Cooper in the theoretical physics building. We are going to have a thought experiment. That makes us a paradox. And today we open our snark as a paradox with the Texas Aggies playing Mississippi State at 6:00 on the SECN.

For this game, the Aggies are Schodinger’s Team. In the thought experiment, devised by physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935, (while talking to his buddy, Al Einstein) a hypothetical cat is placed in a box with random poison and the box is closed. Therefore the cat may be considered both alive and dead as a result of a random event that may or may not occur.  One does not know for certain until the box is opened. We just do not know if the cat is alive or dead until it takes the field Saturday night. So that’s the gist from the physicist.

Mississippi State brings Mike Leach back to Texas. And no, I don’t think any place in Texas wants him back. So make sure he on the bus out of College Station.

I have a family affair with Baylor visiting Oklahoma State in Daddy Boone Stadium. It’s on ESPN2 at 6:00. If the cat is dead at the Aggie game, I will watch.

But long before that kickoff we have a sea of red with a rising Arkansas team playing Georgia at 11:00 on ESPN. Are the pigs real? Or will UGA have a special bacon-flavored treat for lunch. We shall see if the Hogs can run Between the Hedges on Vince Dooley Field. 

Also at that time slot, THE University of Texas plays TCU on ABC at 11:00. The game is in Fort Worth on the Amon G. Carter Field. To the Horns – do not try to plant a burnt orange flag on the 50 yard line if you win. It did not go well last week when SMU tried it.

Oklahoma plays Kansas State on FOX at 2:30. OU? If you blow this one, your invite to the SEC might be revoked.

The biggest game of the week belongs to Ole Miss and Alabama. The kickoff is at 2:30 on CBS – The announcers are once again, Motor Mouth Gary Daniels and that other person. They already win a MUTE Award on Monday.

The Ole Miss Coach, Lane Kiffin, sounds like a character from Harry Potter. Now we get to see if he really is a wizard and will be the first student to beat the master. Please ensure your emergency kits are ready for this one, complete with sweet, salty, alcohol, chocolate, antacids, and cussing jar, with rolls of coins and clean underwear.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

______________________________

When I say Ala, then you say Bama.

When I say Tusca, then you say Loosa.

When I say Bear, then you say Bryant.

When I say Nick, then you say Saban.

When I say ROLL, then you say TIDE.

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. Give ’em hell, Alabama.

I will be pulling for the TIDE because I do not want them arriving at Kyle Field next Saturday pissed off. That damn cat better be alive Saturday night, Jimbo. Just saying!

BTHO MISSISSIPPI STATE!

Big Solid? If there is a linebacker interception on either side, there will be a Big Solid Award!

Monday, September 27, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football – Week Four

Monday, September 27, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football – Week Four

Why do you build me up, Buttercup, Baby, just to let me down?

Oh Baby, Why Baby? Why Baby? Why Baby Why? You make me cry, Baby, cry Baby, cry Baby Cry...

I’m still singing those songs and other funeral dirges.

My first Award today is the Celeste Award.  It goes to the Texas Aggies – formerly known as the Fighten Texas Aggies. It is named after my friend, Celeste, who is 102 years old and said quite accurately that the Aggies played like “Ned, in the First Reader!” That colloquialism means “not experienced, lacking knowledge, skill or wisdom gained from experience.” So here’s to all the Neds wearing maroon and white. For goodness’s sake, it was your FOURTH game! Texas A&M 10 and Arkansas 20. Not even close, you Ned Heads! Whenever you play in Dallas, you succumb to Dallas voodoo and then play like doo doo.

Joining the Aggies taking home the Disappointment Award are the Clemson Tigers. Clemson falls after losing 27 to 21 to North Carolina State in double overtime.  Could there be an Alamo Bowl for the Aggies and the Tigers?

OU 16 and West Virginia 13. Oklahoma wins a Poopy Undies and The Lost Heisman Award by kicking a game ending field goal to win. I also throw in an Ugly Win Trophy. Once again, the begging question – are you sure you are ready for the SEC?

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Awards are both Auburn and Georgia State. Auburn Autumn Bird comes from behind to win 34 to 24.

While we are at it, let’s give the Dogs of Mississippi State and the Tigers of LSU a pair of Poopy Underwear. See you next week State. We might be playing for a spot in the Tropical Smoothie Café Frisco Bowl in boring Frisco, Texas.

To the Baylor Bears I have several awards. First, a Kudos Award for knocking off the Cyclones of Iowa State 31 to 29. The Kudos Award comes with a Way to Go, Bears! Banner. The Bears also receive the Ugly Uniforms Award because you looked like a bunch of animated bananas.

I do have an Exploding Head Coach Award this week. It goes to Iowa State coach, Matt Campbell. He exploded over a referee’s call and peppered him with colorful language.

Seriously, Coach, I do not think it was wise to scream descriptions of the play as a gerund of sexual intercourse with male bovine feces while in Waco. Just because you are in Texas does not mean you can talk about bull poo poo.

The rest of the games were blowouts and receive a Rout and Trounce Award. If your team scored more than 50 points against the opponent, please pick up your award at the end of the half and put in the women’s field hockey team for the remainder of the game.

But as a loyal 12th Man I faithfully say about the Aggies…

“I’ve seen them play since way back when,
And they’ve always had the grit;
I’ve seen ‘em lose and I’ve seen ‘em win,
But I’ve never seen ‘em quit.”

So we ain’t quitting. And it is going to be ear drum busting loud in Kyle Field.

Meanwhile. Stay safe. Get the vaccine.

Friday, September 24, 2021 – Snarky Friday – Week 4

Friday, September 24, 2021 – Snarky Friday – Week 4

I apologize for Snarky Friday being delayed. I was outside checking on the pig that I am roasting in the back yard for tomorrow. It was time to turn it on the spit. I was listening to TUSK by Fleetwood Mac and just lost track of time.

Why don’t you ask him if he’s going to stay?
Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away?
Ay…
Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?
Why don’t you tell me who’s on the phone?
O-o-o
Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him the latest on his throne?
Hooga haaga hooga

Let’s start with the 11:00 hour and conference openers for:

SMU and TCU at 11:00 on FS1 – Ponies and Frogs and Rich Kids remember the Southwest Conference Days.

LSU and Mississippi State at 11:00 on ESPN – This could be an interesting match up between the cats and dogs. A fight for third place in the conference could be on the line.

Texas Tech and THE University of Texas at 11:00 on ABC. BEVO gets a tortilla stuck to his horn. Horns Up! And Guns Up! You really need to think about that Guns Up thing, but hey it’s Texas.  When was the last time, Tech came into the game with a better record? As painful as it is for me to say it, Wreck ‘Em, Tech!

Notre Dame and Wisconsin at 11:00 on Fox.  Stand up, Badgers and sing! And raise our glowing flame. This version of the song makes me want to grab a pennant, throw on a racoon coat, jump in a flivver and travel back in time to the 1920’s.

Clemson at NC State 2:30 ESPN – Oh Dabo. Oh Dabo. You really need to take care of the Wolf Pack.

Iowa State at Baylor at 2:30 on Fox – Cyclones on the Brazos at McClain Stadium. Sic ‘Em Bears! There have miracles on the Brazos before.

The evening hours are filled with many games. Here are two. You can Google ESPN as well as I can.

Alabama and Southern Mississippi at 6:30 at SECN. Ohh. The Tide Rolls in; The Tide Rolls out; The Tide Rolls in and they shake it all about. They do the Hokey Pokey, and they turn themselves around; That’s what it’s all about.

At 6:00 Tennessee visits the Swamp in Florida on ESPN. It might be rough for Rocky Top. CHOMP!

I’m sorry. The porkchops, bacon and ham that I ordered arrived. The pork loin and pork sausages should arrive soon.

Texas A&M Arkansas at 2:30 CBS. Why don’t you ask him the latest on his throne? Now seeking the latest on the throne we have The Average Texas Aggies against the pretty scary Arkansas Razorbacks. The fact that the game is in Arlington at Jerry World does not give either team a distinct advantage.

Oh Bull Crap! The game is on CBS. That means Motor Mouth Gary Danielson and the other poor guy who is trying to call the game. I thought the SEC got rid of you, CBS?

The live mascot for Arkansas is Tusk 5. A tusk is defined as a long, pointed tooth, especially one specially developed so as to protrude from the closed mouth, as in the elephant, walrus, or wild boar. So basically, the Arkansas mascot is a tooth on a wild boar with the tooth hanging out his mouth. This says a great deal about teeth in people and animals of Arkansas. The University of Arkansas does not have a dental school.

Before I go check on the roasting pig, I must pack my emergency kit for tomorrow’s game. Little Football that plays War Hymn. Damn It Doll. Plastic quart container for cussing (a dime for a single word and a quarter for multisyllable words), Five rolls of dimes and five rolls of quarters, Four Pepto-Bismol chewables. Four Peppermint-flavored Tums. Four pair clean underwear. One/quarter. One small oxygen tank, and these – Also one/quarter.

BTHO Arkansas and we shall see what the Aggies are really made of.

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Our first award this week is the Welcome to Aggieland Award. It goes to the numerous newcomers of the Brazos Valley who posted their fears on the Neighborhood Watch app when “Four 4 F 15 fighter jets, armed with missiles, just flew over. What is happening?” And a special award to those who replied, “You must be new. It is the Aggie flyover. It’s Aggie football weekend.” And especially to the Air Force brat who posted, “the jets are not armed with missiles. The bay doors are open.”

Note to the newcomers. That was the flyover for the New Mexico game. On October 9, the entire Texas Air National Guard is flying over Kyle Field, along with a blimp, three helicopters and a flying saucer when the Tide rolls in.

Speaking of The Tide, you need some Tide because you win Poopy Undies. You did avoid Swamp Fever, but it was too close for comfort. Florida Gators receive the Worst Execution of a Two Point Conversion Award. Alabama 31 and Florida 29.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Sooners of Oklahoma. Obviously, Nebraska took the celebration of the 50 Year anniversary of the “Game of the Century” from 1971 a bit more seriously that the Sooners. Close, but no Cornhusker Cigar. Bama 26 and Nebraska 16. Note to OU: Your debut games for the SEC are not looking too good.

There were many blowouts. Here are a few.

TAMU 34 and New Mexico 0. Plus scared newcomers 5 and F 15 Fighter Jets 4. Jimbo said, “We are very average.”  Yes, we are.

Baylor 47 Kansas 7

Rice 0 Texas 58

Missouri 59 SE Missouri St 28

LSU 49 Central Michigan 21

I listed the above teams’ blowouts because none of them will have a blowout again. So you all receive both Cupcake Awards and Hair Dryer Awards. THE University of Texas receives a Rice bowl.  Remember this game TU when you play Vanderbilt in the future.

The biggest trophies this week are brought to you by the Optician Magicians and goes to the Officials. Specifically the officials who called the Mississippi State and Memphis game and the Penn State and Auburn Game. First award is the Three Blind Mice Award and goes to the refs for Memphis and Mississippi State. I am 72 years old and have had cataract surgery on both eyes and have never even called a Pee Wee football game, but I know that you cannot have two players with the same number on the field at the same time. FOUR! Granted, your educational systems suck, but one would think you can recognize two players wearing the same number Four!

But the worst was the obvious downing of the football by State but was picked up and run for a touchdown by Memphis.  For Bulldog fans I award the Near Cardiac Arrest Award and a New Cussing Jar.

The officials in Happy Pennsylvania were not making the crowds happy either. From Referee School 101 – KNOW WHAT DOWN IT IS! .

Auburn 20 Penn State 28. Also, a Stadium Fashion Award goes to Penn State. The White Out looked great.

In conclusion I now introduce a new award called The Most Cobs Shoved Up’ Award for Incredible Skill at Ineptitude.  Our first recipients of the award are the crew who called the Memphis and Mississippi State game. Cob Him!

Have a great week.

Friday, September 17, 2021 – Snarky Friday – Week Three

Friday, September 17, 2021 – Snarky Friday – Week Three

Let’s start with a Big Snark.

Notre Dame plays Purdue sans big drum on the Notre Dame Network – aka NBC at 1:30. The 7 foot tall and three feet wide gigantic drum of the Boilermakers will not fit through the visiting team’s tunnel. And Notre Dame will not allow the drum to come through the home tunnel, where it would fit. This is the first time the drum will be absent from a Purdue All-American Marching Band since 1979. Well, that sure ain’t full of grace, Mary!  What Would Touchdown Jesus Do?

It’s another tequila sunrise with the Aggies kicking off against New Mexico Lobos at 11:00 on SEC. This is usually the Bloody Mary Game, but given the way the Aggies played last week, I’m just going to start with tequila.

OU Nebraska Fox 11:00 – This is apparently a historic meeting with lots of memories and flashbacks. But Cornhuskers? This is not your Fathers OU! I understand the entire state of Nebraska will be in Norman.

I will not be watching Oklahoma State at Boise State in a visual display of mind- bending, psychedelic, eye hurting colors in high definition. Just say no to blue football fields. Go Cowboys.

Here are my games of interest for Week Three.

Baylor and Kansas 2:30. A Big 12 match-up on Big12|ESPN+.  Yawn!

 Alabama at Florida on CBS @ 2:30. Never trust a team from Florida. Bama will need “Run, Forrest, Run!” all afternoon.

Mississippi State at Memphis 3:00 ESPN2. This could be a real test of both teams. Give me Liberty Bowl or Give me State. I’m going with State. Maybe a we’ll see a Big Solid linebacker interception for a Bulldog touchdown.

FIU and Texas Tech at 6:00 on Big12|ESPN+. I will be glad when these teams quit playing teams I have to look up. East West South North spin off universities.

Tulane and Ole Miss on ESPN2 at 7:00. Tulane will be wearing their throwback greenie uniforms with a SEC Champions helmet sticker. All of the dates were before my birth, but I did not know Tulane was once in the SEC. Hotty Toddy Gosh Almighty!

The William Marsh Rice Institute for the Advancement of Literature, Science and Art will play THE University of Texas at 7:00 on the Longhorn Network. Actually the name was shortened to Rice in 1960 because that long name would not fit on a T-Shirt. Please show the Rice MOB (Marching Owl Band) at halftime. Somebody please upload to YouTube! Rice may not play football that well, but one never knows what the brainiacs in the MOB will do. Especially with the controversy of The University Eyes Song. And the Rice cheer: Go Owls? That’s it? That is all you have? Go Owls! You’re the Harvard of Texas! Not even a HOOT or a SCREECH?

Just a recent flashback memory for THE University, Arkansas had to come from behind to beat Rice in Week One.

BTHO New Mexico Lobos

GET VACINATED! Wear the mask. Gig ‘Em Aggies!

September 13, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards

September 13, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards

There were blowouts. There were upsets. There were near upsets. And it is only Week Two.

First, let us discuss field colors. Football fields should be the color of green grass. Not TEAL green. For Coastal Carolina, the uniforms and the field do not need to match. And football fields should never be blue. But you did break the Kansas winning streak of one in a row. Coastal Carolina 49 and Kansas 22.

The first award is The Hair Dryer Award for blowouts. Multiple recipients include the following:

  • Baylor 66 and Texas Southern 7
  • Oklahoma 76 and West Carolina 0 (not to be confused with Teal Green Carolina)
  • Alabama 48 and Mercer 14
  • Georgia 56 and University of Alabama at Birmingham 7.
  • Auburn 62 and Alabama State 0
  • Florida 42 South Florida 20

I have not been able to substantiate the rumors that marching bands, women’s basketball teams, or the men’s and women’s intramural flag football teams played the second half and last quarter of the above listed games.

Duck Duck Buckeye! My Blood, Sweat and Tears Award goes to the Oregon Ducks because You Made Me so Very Happy with your victory over Ohio State. I guess the O in Ohio stands for Overrated! Ducks 35 Ohio State 28.

Each of the following teams receive a Poopy Undies Award for nearly being upset.

A near upset goes to Tortilla Tech for the eked out victory over Stephen F. Austin.  Tech 28 and SFA 22. Are there shirts, this week TT?

Holy Toledo! What were you thinking Notre Dame? You almost allowed Toledo to beat you. But Hail Mary you survived. 32 to 29. I’m sorry. Did you think I was going to give ND an award for winning?

And then of course to Texas A&M. You not only receive Poopy Undies, but your fans also receive the manual for Self-Administered CPR. It comes with an Oxygen tank on the side. It was like Deja view all over again. But these Aggies found a way to win. Zach you were a shining example of The 12th Man. You stood ready to play. While we all hope King’s injury in not severe, I am confident and I back Zack! Let’s not do such things again though. Aggies 10 Colorado 7. The Big THANK YOU Award goes the Texas A&M Defense.

My last award is presented by the SEC Welcome Wagon along with the Cheryl Crow song, If it Makes You Happy. And the trophy goes to:

THE University of Texas. Texas, on behalf of the blowout by Arkansas, we’d like to Welcome you to the SEC. It just means more. More points scored too. Texas 21 Arkansas 40. Arkansas is a very good team. Wait until you meet the rest of us. Did you look at the blowout list?

Tell me again, Texas, why you are coming to the SEC? Oh yes, there is the ESPN money from the Extra Sports Payment Network. What are you bringing to the SEC? We already have a UT with ugly orange colors. But they have Peyton Manning.

I mean OU is bringing seven Heisman winners and seven national football championships TU is bringing two Heisman winners and four national football championships. Alabama alone has 18. Yes, double digits. How’s that for historical context?

If you were in the SEC on this day, you would be tied with Vanderbilt.  Let’s all sing now. “Don’t worry. Be Happy.”

Last question for the Horns. What will you be bringing as the school song? Please let the members of the SEC know ASAP so we can get a parody.

Stay safe. Wear the mask. Watch out for Tropical Storm, Nicholas. Current weather predictions show it moving along the Texas Gulf Coast. Get your four basic storm preparations – Salty, Sweet, Alcohol and Chocolate.

September 10, 2021 – Week Two of Snarky Football Friday

September 10, 2021 – Week Two of Snarky Football Friday

Let’s talk about pants. I noticed last week that players’ pants are getting shorter. Kickers might as well be wearing spandex shorts. Receivers seem to have shorter pants too. More research is needed.

And Notre Dame? Those urine colored pants are bad in the first place. When you sweat the pants become even uglier. Other teams seem to have yellowish pants and do not seem to have an issue.

And THE University of Texas? You are going to need better pants in the SEC. We can see your butt. What is the thread count you are wearing? About a 10? So either get better pants or wear something underneath. While you are at it, you might as well get better uniforms for the SEC.

I see the Big 12 has issued party invitations to Brigham Young University, Cincinnati University, the University of Houston, and the University of Central Florida. Three felines (cougar, bearcat, cougar,) and a knight. The UCF mascot is named Knightro for the “Knight of Pegasus” and resembles a cross between a knight from days of old and a robot. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is kinightro.jpg

The University of Central Florida was founded in 1963 as the Florida Technological University. The Pegasus became the school’s first athletic mascot in 1970, when UCF students voted and selected the “Knight of Pegasus” as their mascot over “Vincent the Vulture” which had been the university’s unofficial mascot.

And who but Texas Tortilla Tech to issue a welcome to the new schools by showing their sportsmanship, or lack of. The Red Raiders made t-shirts taunting the U of H about Tech’s come from behind win. Wait until you see what they can do with the goal posts.

Moving on to this week…

Great! All of the 11:00 games are teams I am not interested in at this time and can catch up during halftime reports. So to the teams I am interested. Getting my SNARK on, here we go.

UAB and Georgia at 2:30 on ESPN2. Georgia? Just pretend it is the University of Alabama not the University of Alabama @ Birmingham. Will you be bringing the offense this week? The UAB mascot is the Blazers. I’m pretty sure it means a dragon and not a sports coat.

Texas A&M at Colorado at 2:30 on Fox. The last time the Aggies played Colorado on national TV, one of those Detmers was QB. (Koy Detmer – RL? Did you know he is a coach at Somerset under Sonny?) The Aggies played like the women’s field hockey team from Our Lady of Perpetual Turnovers. I got mad and raced out of the driveway in the car and tore the air conditioning wall unit from the house. But now the Aggies are older in Boulder.

Mercer and Alabama on SECN at 3:00. Mercer is in Macon Georgia. On November 19, 2010, Mercer announced the reinstatement of intercollegiate football beginning in the fall of 2013. The university competed as an NCAA Division I, non-scholarship program in the Pioneer Football League in 2013, and is now a scholarship program in the Southern Conference. Reinstatement came after a 70-year hiatus; Mercer suspended football during World War II and did not revive it. The final game was in 1941. The Tide will Roll, and it will be a long afternoon for the Bears.

The Iowa Hawkeyes and the Iowa State Weather Patterns play at 3:30 on ABC in a big game. The Cy-Hawk Battle will be history making. For the first time in the 67-game history of the series, both the Iowa Hawkeyes and Iowa State Cyclones are ranked. They’re both in the top 10. This could be bigger than the Iowa State Fair.

At 6:00 on ESPN2, NC State and Mississippi State kick off. For the Elf and Big Solid and all the State fans, “Please remain seated for the entire performance. Go Dogs!

Oklahoma plays Western Carolina at 6:00.  Sooner Schooner rights itself and Rattlers on.  I find no social media broadcasts. OU probably wants to get act together in private after last week’s performance.

The Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks play Tortilla Tech at 6:00 on ESPN+. Ax ‘Em, Jacks!

LSU and McNeese kick off at 7:00 on SECN. Tigers come home and lick their wounds.

And last and certainly not least at 7:00 on ESPN, THE University of Texas and The University of Arkansas meet in old Southwest Conference and Big 12 rivalries, and a start a new soon to be SEC rivalry.  

Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie! Razorbacks!

In case you forgot how they call the pigs. Wait until you hear the cowbells in Starkville. Welcome to the SEC, BEVO!

BTHO Colorado!

Remember that night of September 10, twenty years ago? It was our last good night’s sleep. We shall never forget!

Friday, November 13, 2020 – Snarky Friday – Ain’t No Sunshine

Friday, November 13, 2020 – Snarky Friday – Ain’t No Sunshine

COVID 14 and Texas A&M, Tennessee, Georgia, Missouri, Auburn, Mississippi State, Alabama, LSU, Ohio State, Maryland, California, Arizona State, Pittsburg and Georgia Tech – 0. All games are postponed or canceled.

You can find some football games of mild and little interest. You can start the day with Vanderbilt and Kentucky on the SEC Network at 11:00 am or you can sleep in.

We have Notre Dame and Boston College on ABC at 2:30 in the Battle of the Catholics. There is Baylor and Tortilla Tech at 3:00 on FS1. South Carolina and Ole Miss at 6:30 on the SEC Network might hold some interest. This could be Kiffie and Uncle Will squaring off in an exploding Head Coach contest.  The pigs of Arkansas and the gators of Florida are on ESPN at 6:00.

We also have The Sisters of Perpetual Bad Housekeeping with Dust Bunnies and the Royal Order of Extra Large Glitter Girls playing checkers on ESPN10. There is an outdoor (weather permitting) marble contest at the park between the Downtown Marble Society. The Puff and Passers of High Society Gentlemen of Faux Nobility will be conducting a reenactment of something mildly weird and strange from the Medieval Period – also in the park.

I am going to let Bill Withers show you here’s what I’m thinking about this weekend’s football. I know. I know. I know. I know…

WEAR YOUR MASK! WASH YOUR HANDS! STAY STRONG!

BTHO COVID!

Friday, October 2, 2020 – Snarky Friday

Friday, October 2, 2020 – Snarky Friday

Time for the previews of Saturday College Football among the COVID.

Let’s welcome the Big 10 Conferences and schools. NOT! Ohio State? Michigan? You think you can jump in any time and play a few games and still be eligible for the Big Asterisk Championship Trophy?

Let’s start with the 11:00 Brunch a Bunch 11 games.

Baylor at West Virginia on ABC – Yawn. The Bears and the Backpackers. Backpack is another word of mountaineer.  Remember when West Virginia wins, they burn couches. I don’t know why. Probably some hillbilly tradition from way back in the hills. SIC ‘EM BEARS!

TCU and Texas on Fox – THE University of Texas, Banjo Boy and the Horns will do some Frog gigging on TCU. Horns need to ensure Banjo Boy does not test positive for COVID. A two-week quarantine will take you out of any contention.

There are other games from the Big 12 Conference, but really? Who cares?

South Carolina and Florida on ESPN – A Tisket, a Traskit, Muschamp gets a blue and orange basket. Gamecocks cannot rise to the occasion.

Missouri and Tennessee on the SEC – whatever and whoever wins. Possible ugly uniform contestants.

These games allow plenty of time to prepare for the afternoon and evening games which will be much better.

At 3:00 on the SEC Network we have the Shades of Blue Game with Kentucky and Ole Miss. This could be a good cat and dog fight.  I forgot to post this last week. I am not sure if this is made from old pop tops from beer cans, office binder rings or what.

In the evening we find the 6:30 time slot on the SEC Alternate with Arkansas and Mississippi State. This is the opportunity to see which team is real and which team is Memorex. Who knew Leach’s Run and Gun offense would work in the SEC. Well, we shall see if it really does.

LSU and Vanderbilt on the SEC Network at 6:30 – Here is some advice for the Tigers. Do not run the ball out of the end zone and watch out for the safety – not that position; the 2-point score.

Auburn and Georgia ESPN at 6:30. This could be another cat and dog fight. Go DAWGS!

It seems as though I have forgotten a game.  If only it were the big game to turn the corner. At 2:30 on CBS the real Texas A&M Team (not the one from last week) kicks off against Alabama.  With the game starting at 2:30 you should have plenty of time to get snacks from the store; alcohol from the liquor store and smelling salts from the pharmacy.  

Remember that chicken wire fence at the bar in The Blues Brothers movie? Here’s what I’m thinking. I am going to surround the TV with chicken wire and place a bucket beneath it to catch the glass shards. This is so when I get mad and start throwing beer bottles toward the TV, I will not endanger the TV. It is not the TV’s fault. How much money are we paying you, Jimbo?

BTHO ALABAMA!

Stay safe. Wear a mask. Get out and vote!