Category Archives: Native Texan

Monday, February 18, 2019 – Head ‘Em Up! Move ‘Em Out!

Monday, February 18, 2019 – Head ‘Em Up! Move ‘Em Out!

It is trail riding time in Texas. If you, as Lyle Lovett sings,
“are not from Texas” then let me attempt an explanation. When the rodeo comes to town, everybody is fixin to be a cowboy or cowgirl. It is just a Texas thang!

To celebrate our cattle heritage and cattle drives, there are trail rides to recall when real cowboys rode the range and herded the longhorns. The granddaddy of all the rides is The Salt Grass Trail Ride. It started when some Texans got stranded in Florida due to bad weather after the 1952 Orange Bowl Football Game. Sidebars: The game was between Baylor and Georgia Tech. It was Baylor’s first bowl game and the co-champions of the SEC. (GT was in the SEC?) The Yellow Jackets won.

But back to the story. Being stranded in Florida, one Texan said “I’ll never go anywhere again without my horse” and so began the Salt Grass Trail Ride. It began as a promotion for the then called Houston Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. Trivia for Native Texans and Houstonians – where was the event held? Answer at the end.

https://saltgrasstrailride.com/

From the website:

Riding through the rich salt grass pastures, the journey begins in Cat Spring, Texas, in mid-February and winds through the countryside for 103 miles toward Houston. Participants range in age from 2 to 90, stretched out single file for the distance of a mile or so, always present a colorful picture as they go down the trail. The early Texans who pioneered our great cattle industry, despite almost overwhelming hardships, have not been forgotten. They live on in the Salt Grass Trail Ride.

What this really means for the Houston and surrounding areas is this. The weather is going to be sunny, warm, hot, cold, rainy, and miserable with as much as 40 degrees temperature ranges. It could be 85 degrees day and 45 degrees the next day. Sometimes, within the next hour of reaching a record high of 85. But that’s only one of the reasons we love Texas.

Unlike the cowboys you see in the following video, these cowpokes and their horses stop at the end of a hard day’s ride and relax in their cozy RVs and with their horses in heated horse trailers. While Willie sings “Cowboys ain’t easy to love” he also knows they ain’t stupid either.

Here’s to all the trail riders on all the rides. Be safe. God Bless you and God Bless Texas!

So head ‘em up! Move ‘em out! Who is that cute, Rowdy second cowboy in the credits? Stay for the credits if for no other reason to hear the song. You are welcome because I know you will be hearing and singing this the remainder of the day.

Answer: The Houston Fat Stock Show was held at the Sam Houston Coliseum.

https://youtu.be/3_rHrLHIeyI

Wednesday, February 13, 2019 – Protect Your Birds

Wednesday, February 13, 2019 – Protect Your Birds

Yesterday I purchased a new skillet. When I turned it over to see how to season it, I saw this in the instructions. I did not believe it at first either.

If you are having difficulty reading the before you use instructions, the sentence reads:

CAUTION: Please keep pet birds out of the kitchen. Birds’ respiratory systems are sensitive to many fumes, including the fumes of extremely overheated nonstick pans.

It immediately made me question “How was this determined?” Was there a lab experiment to determine which animals might be injured and the birds won? I have no answers. I noticed it said “Pet Birds.” So I assume that means you own multiples and that wild birds in your kitchen are okay.

I also wondered, “What about my respiratory system? What about Peach’s respiratory system?”

I apologize for the brevity of today. I am cooking chicken in my new skillet and must go tend to it.

Friday, February 8, 2019 – As God Is My Witness

Friday, February 8, 2019 – As God Is My Witness

Stop now if you think this is going to have a religious tint. I’m just paraphrasing Scarlett O for the introduction.

As God is my witness I have never done blackface. Even years ago we knew it was wrong. However, there was that one time when I applied black shoe polish to my face.

I was 12 and my Halloween costume was blue jeans, a horizontally striped black and white t-shirt, a black velvet beret, and bongo drums. Where in the confines of Magnolia, Texas I found bongo drums I do not recall. I applied a generous amount of black Kiwi Shoe Polish to create – ala resembles – a goatee set of facial hair. I am certain I created an interesting site since I was still wearing bronze looking, cat-eye glasses (with sequins.)

I recall being with another person who had on a similar costume – sans faux facial hair. It was probably Mollie H., but could have been Karen No Facebook. Here are some questions you should be asking yourselves.

• What in the world were you dressed as? We had to explain with every opening door. When the door opened one of us would say “You rang?” or “We are beatniks!” Then I would beat on the bongos a few times and one of us would say “Can you dig it? The other would say “We are cool cats.” Most people just looked at us in a mild state of confusion, but we still got candy. Then we’d leave with a “Thanks Daddy-O.”

• Bonus question for Colfax, Louisiana readers – Where did you get a black velvet beret? From one of Myrtle’s boxes. Remember those?

• How did two 12 year old girls in Magnolia, Texas even know what a beatnik was? You got me. Probably same place I borrowed the bongos.

• Your mothers let you go out like that? Yep. In fact one of them probably drove us Trick or Treating.

• What year was this? 1961 – The upside down year.

• Was this your last year to dress like a beatnik and go Trick or Treating? Yes. And after my first year in college I had moved to a full-fledged, tie-dyed, bell-bottom wearing hippie. Ya’ll should have seen that coming when I was 12. Groovy, huh? Peace out!

Friday, January 11, 2019 – You Will Be Assimilated

Friday, January 11, 2019 – You Will Be Assimilated

Captain’s Log 01.11.2019 – Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Wait. That is the Borg. We are not going to Delta Quadrant. Who is driving this Starship? We need to change course and warp speed to Septar Quadrant. That is where the Septuagenarians live. At 12:30 AM on Sunday, January 13, I will be assimilated into that decade.

Here is to all of the birth anniversaries born under the sign of Capricorn. Belated birthday wishes to Carol L. and RL on the 6th and 10th respectively. Tomorrow, January 12 we celebrate Molly and Dale and Carol M. days of birth.

Me and Molly Harper Fowler on our 13th birthdays. I do not know if there is a name for a Baptist and Methodist girl when she turns 13.

Then on Sunday, the lovely birthday girls, include, but is not limited to, me, Carolyn Sue, Nova and Debbie F. We all share the day of celebration.

We all invite you to celebrate with all the January birthdays while tapping your toes to another January BD – The Great Earl Scruggs born on Jan 6. I think Foggy Mountain Breakdown is appropriate for us. Don’t you? Engage! Warp Speed to Septar Quadrant.

https://youtu.be/AJOIqmlI65Y

 

Wednesday, January 2, 2019 – And Then There Was One

Wednesday, January 2, 2019 – And Then There Was One

One college football game left. Roll Tide.

Congratulations to LSU, Oklahoma State, Ohio State, and Kentucky on their bowl wins. To any fans from Pennsylvania, your teams must win their bowl games before they are mentioned.

Congratulations to THE University of Texas for their win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl 28-21. This game was over when Bevo decided to have a pregame snack of an UGA Hot Dawg. Try that with the Miss Reveille, Bevo and you’ll be a steak.

To Georgia: What the hell? The next time you play a major bowl against a major team, may I suggest the following:

    • Bring your head to the game
    • Take your head out of your nether region
    • Use your head to play football
    • Do not underestimate a good team. Almost beating Alabama does not end the season.
    • Do not embarrass the SEC. Texas marched through you like Sherman! The tank, not the general.

To The University, again congratulations. It does indeed appear that The University (TU) is back to original form.

To the mouths talking in the booth last night and everyone else who was a booth mouth during the bowl games:

  • Call the damn football game!
  • Learn the name of the team – it is Oklahoma State or OSU – NOT OKState. You should have known that before your Twitter account exploded from the Oklahoma State fans.
  • No one cares how you played when you were playing.
  • No one cares what play you would have called.
  • No one really cares about your opinions on anything.
  • You do not need to give me the players/coaches profile from day one of their lives.
  • You do not have to fill then entire time between plays with mindless chatter.
  • I heard you the first time. And the second and probably the third time you repeated and/or rephrased what you just said.
  • Please do not refer to Sam Ehlinger as similar to Tim Tebow or anybody else. He is the pride and hope of The University of Texas and he is like Sam Ehlinger.
  • Next year go interview Bevo before the game. Maybe he will show you how the cow ate the New Year’s cabbage.

Only one more football game so it is time to move on to the bouncing round ball. Guess who has a ticket tomorrow night for Baylor and UCONN? See you, Geno!

Tuesday, January 1, 2019 – Happy Whooping New Year!

Tuesday, January 1, 2019 – Happy Whooping New Year!

Well, Skit. Skat. And how bout that?

How about them Aggies? Chomp. Chomp. What away to start a new year!

Congratulations to The Texas Aggie Football team, Coach Jimbo Fisher and Traveon Williams for a great game. Record setting runs for Traveon.

What a game for Cullen Gillespia? The epitome of The Twelfth Man.

Jimbo’s first year: 9 wins and four losses. Losses to Clemson by two and Alabama was scared. Time ran out against Mississippi State and Auburn. And then there was the LSU game followed by a convincing Gator Bowl victory. Not bad, Jimbo.

The final result? As many Aggie shirts now read:

It’s not the way it used to be!

WHOOP!

But that was last year. Today I have on my LSU Tiger T-shirt. It is the formal one with the mardi gras bead design. GEAUX TIGERS!

I am headed to have the traditional New Year’s black eyed peas and cornbread and New Year’s Day football watching. Speaking of Day, here’s to my friend Kathy who achieved a bucket list item today– Seeing Ohio State play in the Rose Bowl. I’ll watch for you KD.  Please wave to me and Ms. Navasota.

Monday, December 31, 2018 – Mamma Called or The Last Time the Aggies were in the Gator Bowl

Monday, December 31, 2018 – Mamma Called or The Last Time the Aggies were in the Gator Bowl

“Mamma called. And when Mama calls, you just have to come runnin.”

Let’s get in the Wayback Machine and return to December 28, 1957. It was a time of floor length formals with frills, white elbow length gloves and the Bowl Queens and their Courts who wore them.

This appears to be a 30 minute promo of the Gator Bowl in 1957. https://youtu.be/EedQfNyCc24 Lots of Gator Bowl Queens, the Tennessee Band, and a little bit of football footage. I wonder if there will be speed boat races this year.

The Texas Aggies were 8-0 and in contention for the National Championship. At one point they had been ranked Number One for three weeks in a row. The running back was Heisman Trophy Winner, John David Crow.

Reverse the Wayback Machine to October 26. Alabama lost to Mississippi State 25 to 13. The Alabama coach, J.B.” Ears” Whitworth was fired. Rumors began to fly down the railroad tracks to College Station. The coach of the Texas Aggies, Paul “Bear” Bryant might leave! Bryant played blocking end for Alabama and graduated in 1936 with a B.S. degree.

The Aggies came undone. The Aggies would lose to Rice (when it was the William M. Rice Institute for the Advancement of the Literature, Science and Art) and to The University of Texas. The Rice quarterback was the great King Hill.

Jimmy Wright, back-up Aggie quarterback, 1954-1956, is quoted to have said “When starting Aggie quarterback, Roddy Oborne threw an interception in the Arkansas game, and Coach Bryant did not say anything, I knew he was gone.”

Because of the losses to Rice and Texas the Aggies dropped out of contention. The Aggies received an invitation to the Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida. It was like the Miss Congeniality of football games at that time. It was not the Rose Bowl. It was not the Cotton Bowl. It was not the Orange Bowl. It was not the Sugar Bowl. Those were the big games. But the Gator Bowl had just enlarged its stadium. It would now seat 43,000.

The Aggies’ opponent was Number 13 ranked The University of Tennessee. In a lackluster, no Aggie spirit, The Volunteers won with a field goal with 5:30 remaining in the fourth quarter to win 3-0.

It would be the last game for Bear Bryant at Texas A&M. The Aggies would not go to a bowl game again until 1968. Paul Bear Bryant would go to Alabama and as they proverbially say “the rest is history.”

When asked why he was going to go to Alabama Bryant was quoted to have said “Mamma called. And when Mama calls, you just have to come runnin.”

And THE University of Texas in 1957? The Horns played Ole Miss (an SEC team) in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans. It was Darryl K. Royal’s first year as head coach. They lost 39-7 to the Rebels. Hotty Toddy!

BTHO North Carolina State

Go Dawgs!

Happy New Year!

 

 

Sunday, December 30, 2018 – The Eve of the Eve

Sunday, December 30, 2018 – The Eve of the Eve

It is the eve of New Year’s Eve; ah bitter chill it was. Wait that is The Eve of St. Agnes by Keats when the bitter chill takes place. That is not until January 20. We also have Alfred Lord Tennyson’s version St. Agnes’ Eve. I guess plagiarism was not as evident back then.

Speaking of saints, chills, and Tennyson, how about that Charge of the Light Brigade by Notre Dame yesterday? Half a yard; half a yard; half a yard onward into the valley of death rode the Irish. Notre Dame could not summon enough saints and begorrah to even make it interesting. At least Oklahoma tried a comeback. I told you that ND does not do well in a bowl with Cotton in its name.

Here’s what I’m thinking. Next football season why don’t Clemson and Alabama play to start the season? That can be their very own personal national football championship. Then in January of 2020 two other teams can have a shot at the big trophy stick. Other fans would like to wear tacky national championship hats too.

Tomorrow, actual New Year’s Eve starts the SEC Bowl Conference. Tomorrow we find Missouri versus Oklahoma State and Unranked North Carolina versus the fighting Texas Aggies.

These games are followed by LSU, Mississippi State, Kentucky and Georgia.

And to get thee to a summary. The entire Pride of the Big 12 Conference rests between Oklahoma State and THE University of Texas. Missouri is peaking and it depends on which Oklahoma State takes the field. But Georgia is really pissed off. Those Dawgs are mad dawgs. Run Bevo!

Tomorrow – The Aggies and UT in the Gator Bowl 1957 history. Yes, the SEC – it just means more!

Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Friday, December 28, 2018 – The College Football Sneaky Snarky Friday

Congratulations to the Baylor Bears in their victory over the Vanderbilt Commodores by a whopping score of 45 to 38 in the Academy Sport and Outdoors Texas Bowl. Perhaps if you both field defensive squads next year, you can up your bowl game. Vandy, your defense looked it was Lionel Richie and the Commodores.

Earlier that day in the Walk-on Independence Bowl Duke realized it really is a basketball school and walked on in the second half to score some 45 unanswered points to win over Temple 56- 27.

In the New Era Pinstripe Bowl Wisconsin beat the Miami Hurricanes down to a Category Zero by a score of 35 to 3. May I suggest for a new era, you do not name a football game after a fabric pattern?

Today as I key this we have Purdue and Auburn playing in the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. Auburn? Purdue? Take a Nap? Hmm.

By the evening hours we begin to drift into the Better Big Boy Big School Bowls. These are the bigger games with top players.

It is during this time period we the multitude of players who get to play in The I Did Something Stupid and Made Poor Choices Bowl and/or The I’m Not Playing for My School Because I’m Going to Combine and Will Make Millions and You’re Not Bowl.

Let’ start with the West Virginia Hillbillies and Syracuse in the Camping World Bowl. Expect the usual tacky, home-spun looking WVA uniforms and some visually unaesthetic orange from Syracuse.  Hope the second string QB for WVA is ready.

If anyone is interest you can watch Iowa State and Washington State in the Valero Alamo Bowl. This does not begin until 8:00 so it is necessary to get a proper amount of sleep because Saturday starts the games with the best of the best.

Saturday begins with Florida and Michigan at noon in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl. This sounds like Hooter girls making a peach cobbler bowl.

At the 3:00 hour we have the Creepy Leprechaun and the Halo Gold Helmets on the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame and another variation on orange on the Clemson Tigers. This is the Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic in the first of the College Playoff Semi-final Game. Not to worry. The game is Jerry World in Arlington and not the old Cotton Bowl Stadium where bowl games go to be canceled. Just a quick reminder to Notre Dame – you don’t play well in The Cotton Bowl regardless of where it is played. Clemson doesn’t need all of their players to beat you.

The second College Playoff Semi-final Game is the Capital One Orange Bowl at 7:00. We have the University of Oklahoma and the University of Alabama. Like Clemson, Alabama does not need all of players to beat anyone either. Why does OU go by OU when it should be UO? I don’t know.

Anyway you have OUUA or UOUA. or UAOU.  They all rhyme with Tua. ROLL TIDE!

 

Thursday, December 27, 2018 – The Winding Down of 2018

Thursday, December 27, 2018 – The Winding Down of 2018

We approach the last days of 2018 and the last of the college football bowls in the mediocrity category.

Assuming you were not blown away by last evenings’ thunderstorms, you were able to watch the Injured Quarterbacks’ Interception Bowl between TCU and Cal – formerly known as Berkley in the Cheez-it Bowl. The commercials with the big, yellow cheese round were better than the game. In OT the Frogs defeated the Bears 10-7.

Hey Coach Purple Patterson? I gave never coached a football game in my life. Not even Peewee league or girls’ flag football. I am anatomically unable to even wear a jock strap. But what you did with the field goal kickers makes me wonder about your coaching strategies and understanding of players. With an opportunity to win the game in regulation, you really showed your big ass. Who yells at the freshman field goal kicker; then takes him out; yells some more during the timeout; then puts him back in where he promptly misses? Then when given a second chance you send in another field goal kicker. But TCU did win and claim a victory for the Big 12. It may be the only one the conference will claim.

Speaking of the storms across Texas, the First Responders Bowl between Boston College and Boise State was the first bowl game ever canceled. HWIT – given the intensity of the storms all of the first responder in the Dallas Metroplex were needed.

Currently we have Temple and Duke playing in the Walk On Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana. It is being played during the day because no one really cares until the schools’ basketball teams reach March Madness.

In another ‘who cares’ bowl game we have the Pin Stripe Bowl between Miami and Wisconsin.

But at 8:00 on ESPN the last hope of the Big 12 Conference is the Academy Sports and Outdoors Texas Bowl between Baylor and Vanderbilt. The old tight wad, Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt only did one altruistic endeavor in his life time. He lent his name and money to the founding of the Vanderbilt University. Subsequent Vanderbilt generations, like the poor little Gloria would have to sell blue jeans to support the family.

Good luck to the Baylor Bears and the Vanderbilt Commodores. This reminder to Baylor, Oklahoma State, THE University of Texas and Oklahoma -the SEC – it just means more. And that means bigger, faster, stronger and overall just better!

Yep, Baylor, you are the last hope for the Big 12. Otherwise, TCU will be the only Big 12 winner. I know Iowa State is in a bowl game, but do you even know anybody who went to Iowa State?