Category Archives: Native Texan

Friday, June 22, 2018 – Baseball, Omaha and Snarky Friday!

Friday, June 22, 2018 – Baseball, Omaha and Snarky Friday!

To the Big 12 (which are really only 10 schools) Conference and the Other Conferences:

SEC! It just means more!

Let’s Go Mississippi State Bulldogs!

Reveille sends her love to Bully!

Monday, June 18, 2018 – THIS IS NOT MY AMERICA!

Monday, June 18, 2018 – THIS IS NOT MY AMERICA!

I completely agree with my Twitter friend, Steve Redmond (@sjredmon) when he tweeted this today.

The day you can explain to me how psychologically torturing a 2 year old will make America great, I’ll listen. Until then you can keep your faux Christianity and misplaced idolatry of the heartless SOB in the White House.

I do not care who this offends. You do not hold children hostage. You do not put them in concentration camps. They are not political pawns. It is a POLICY, not a law and it can be changed with the stroke of pen.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018 – Star Trek and the CWS From The Bridge

Tuesday, June 12, 2018 – Star Trek and the CWS From The Bridge

Captain’s Log – Star Date – 06.12.2018 – From the bridge of the USS My House

It arrived this morning! A piece of furniture that can charge my cell phone, tablet and laptop – all at the same time. Can you believe – furniture that plugs into the wall. It has a wireless switch over in the event the electricity goes out.

Please know that between this high tech love seat and my new high tech bed that I may never leave my house again. Also because after purchasing these two items I have no funds to go anywhere.

This weekend, from one of these vantage points, I will watch the College World Series – also known as The SEC Conference versus the Big 12 Conference with a few other schools thrown in to round out the bracket.

So who will I root, root, root for this weekend from reclines of the techno furniture? This is the final series I would like to see. THE University of Texas versus Mississippi State! If the Texas Aggies are not playing, then I’m going with the other SEC team of maroon and white and with a dog mascot. GO STATE!

Monday, June 11, 2018 – Peace in Our Time

Monday, June 11, 2018 – Peace in Our Time

For historians only:

“Good job, well done, Neville Chamberlain;

Diplomacy wins again;” 1939

“Good job, well done, Dennis Rodman

Diplomacy wins again.” 2018

ttps://youtu.be/OI_OSQ9BDkk

Friday, June 8, 2018 – Snarky Friday and Check for Understanding

Friday, June 8, 2018 – Snarky Friday and Check for Understanding

I know Snarky Friday is usually reserved for me commenting on Saturday college football, but today I’m going to snark on Betsy DeVos – also known as Betsy Devoucher, the Secretary of Education.

Dear Betsy,

Since you have no education credentials or public school background, may I suggest you Google Madeline Hunter, Patron Saint of Instructional Delivery Methods?

As one tries to educate the unwashed masses, Dr. Hunter (note she is a Doctor of Education, like I am) notes that it is imperative to check for understanding. This means check to see if those you are trying to instruct understand the concept you are teaching.

Therefore, I am checking for understanding on this School Safety Commission you are leading. I currently understand that the group will not study guns in schools. You were quoted as saying “you were studying school safety issues, but guns were not part of the study.”

As of May 25, there have been 21 school shootings since January of this year. What are you and your commission studying about schools safety? Food fights in the cafeteria? Water balloons on the playground?

Here’s what I’m thinking. Mrs. DeVos, as always you are way off target on the entire educational process, but you shot yourself in the foot with this one.

Saturday, June 2, 2018 – Saw Varsity’s Horns Off!

Saturday, June 2, 2018 – Saw Varsity’s Horns Off!

BTHO TU!

 

Friday, May 25, 2018 – Friday Musings

I am so glad I took that CPR and stop the bleeding class. (See yesterday) Unfortunately, one cannot administer self CPR. I needed to do so last evening with the Texas Aggies baseball team and the Houston Rockets. Both games were thrillers, but the Ags and Rockets pulled out victories. The Rockets’ victory may have been a pyrrhic one. Chris Paul grabbing his hamstring was not good.

Also, in the unfortunate world of sports, I was not able to stop the bleeding the Texas Aggie softball game against Florida.

The Aggies led 4-2 going into the Florida bottom of the ninth and WALK IN the winning run. I would rather lose by the run rule. Oh well, new day, new opportunity.

There may not be much SEC baseball or Super Regional Softball in the Alabama or Florida this weekend. There is a 90% chance a tropical storm this weekend.

In other news you don’t care about, I bought a new bed and mattress. It has an adjustable base. That means one can raise the head and/or the feet. Doesn’t adjustable base sound better than “oh, like a hospital bed” as my family described it.

It also features head/neck, lumbar and leg massage – not like that cheap motel massaging bed that used to cost a quarter. The bed comes with a remote control and is wireless. I love it and it truly has made a difference in a restful sleep. However, here is an issue.

The other night I am blissfully asleep when Peach the cat jumps into the bed and hits the remote. The bed starts vibrating and I don’t know if Texas is having a fracking earthquake or I am about to be swallowed into a sink hole. I wake and of course cannot find the damn remote. Meanwhile the cat is asleep at the end of the bed enjoying a massage.

Of course, it is Memorial Day weekend. Please remember the sacrifice of those who served and especially those who gave the greatest sacrifice.

BTHO FLORIDA! And BTHO TBD. However, I am afraid there may be a Tiger waiting. A Tiger with purple and gold stripes.

Friday, May 18, 2018 – Sadness

Friday, May 18, 2018 – Sadness

It is another sad day where innocent people left their homes this morning and will not return for dinner with their families. Join Texas in mourning another school shooting.

WE DO NOT WANT TO TAKE AWAY THE SECOND AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION! BUT THIS TYPE OF ACTIVITY HAS GOT TO STOP.

All we are asking for is common sense to guns. While thoughts and prayers are sent, remember only legislation can actually stop bullets.

Monday, May 14, 2018 – Your Thesis Defense Is Too Short

Monday, May 14, 2018 – Your Thesis Defense Is Too Short

I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I only received text greetings from the former meth head that cleans my house once a month. It was group text of about 20. So that left 19 people with phone numbers I did not know. I am thinking of a will change.

But there is no such day for Aunts so moving on. Did you see where the student at Cornell defended her Master’s thesis in her underwear? It seems that during her practice presentation her female professor told her that “her shorts were too short.” So in protest at her actual defense she took off her clothes and did her presentation in her underwear AND videoed it and broadcast it live on Facebook.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/student-presents-thesis-underwear-professor-193200885.html

Here’s what I’m thinking. You lost me at shorts of any length. Why were you even wearing shorts for a presentation? Unless, you are a sports, athletic, kinesiology major, you do not wear shorts to professionally present to your professors. (I know I split my infinitive.) Even then shorts would be pretty dicey.

I had to borrow clothes to defend my dissertation, but I still wore professional dress. Thank you, Ann C.

I am also thinking what Frank Clark (RIP) and Jon Denton’s faces would have looked like in 1985 if I took off my borrowed clothes and defended in my bra and panties. I know that these two served as chairs of many of my friend’s committees so you can imagine also. I will laugh the rest of the day thinking about this.

Finally, to the student. Is this really the sword of protest you want to fall on? (Correct syntax: “on which you want to fall”). Cornell University will have to add a paragraph to the graduate catalog that reads “All thesis and dissertation defense presentations must be done in clothes that are not considered underwear. In addition shorts of any length may not be worn during the practice or the real deal.”

This is short enough for today. I am wearing appropriate length shorts, but do not have to defend anything today except a golf swing.

I do not know if the girl passed her thesis defense or not.

From the George H. W. Bush Museum and Library

Friday, May 11, 2018 – Pomp and Circumstance and My Graduation Speech

Friday, May 11, 2018 – Pomp and Circumstance and My Graduation Speech

Thank you, President of My Pretend University. It is an honor and pleasure to speak to you today. Besides, I come from a family who enjoys wearing a cap and gown and listening to boring speakers providing platitudes of promise and hope. I was hoping to get to wear a big necklace or carry banner or something, but it is ok.

Graduates, this is my message to you this May of 2018.

Enjoy the song now because this is probably the last pomp you will get because the circumstances of life kick in as soon as you take off that cap and gown. Sidebar: It is actually called Academic Dress and the head dress is often called a Mortar Board. The bunch of strings on the side is called the tassels and the side on which the tassels hang is dependent on your degree. Advanced degrees usually have tassels on the left and then move to the right side while the opposite is true for undergraduates.

I graduated from college in 1971. There was a crooked, cray cray man in the White House as president. The country was involved in an unpopular war in Vietnam. The Middle East was about to blow up the world. The people were divided over the war and most everything else. People were mean and beat up and killed other people because they did not like people with a different skin color, gender, or thought processes.

I graduated again in 1978 and again in 1985. The world did not get better; however my gown and headdress did get more academic.

Here are my top ten things you need to know as you enter the world.

First. Get real. The world is not a pretty place. Your world is as bad as mine was, but you get to see yours take place live through social media on a 27/7 basis.

As you enter life, at some point, as the country western song says, you will be “lied to, cheated on and treated like dirt.” Therefore, I say to you “Buck up, Sissy Pants!” (Beverly Holfstedder, TBBT.)

Second. In addition, there will be “Good times and riches and sons of a bitches, and you’ll see more than you can recall.” Change your latitude and attitude often. Go to Margaritaville often, but always have a designated driver. (Jimmy Buffet)

Third. Remember, you and your parental units spent big bucks for you to be sitting there. The reason the thing on your head is called a mortar board is because it is fashioned after the flat thing brick layers use to scrap the goo (mortar) that holds brick and stone together. Therefore the one with the strings on the side is to hold your brain together. Don’t blow it by being and doing stupid. Do not aspire to win a Darwin Award. Stupid is as stupid does says Forrest Gump.

Fourth. Learn to spell the word RECEIVE. Do not spell it RECIEVE.

Fifth. Save your tassels. One never knows when life will hit you and you need to make money dancing. Otherwise, just dance. Learn to lead and follow. You get more dance partners that way and dance more often. Also, when your name is called and you feel like dancing when that sheepskin is in your hands, do not let anyone toss you off the stage of graduation or the stage of life when it is your moment.

Sixth. Own a dog and/or cat and be a responsible pet parent.

Seventh. Know that one day you will wake up to sagging boobs, beer bellies, enlarged prostates, swollen joints, peeing in your pants, and forgetting a lot of stuff. Yes, when I was your age I said it was not going to happen to me either.

Eighth. Vote. It does make a difference.

Ninth. Give back and pay it forward.

Tenth. Enjoy YOUR life. It is the only one you have. Be yourself and be comfortable with the person you are. Make your voice heard. Stand up for what you believe in and go make the world a better place.

A toast to all graduates.

Thank you and good luck. Where do I pick up my check? And you said there were refreshments?