Friday, June 2, 2023 – The SEC and Just Say No to Geno

Friday, June 2, 2023 – The SEC and Just Say No to Geno

It is less than 100 days until college football kickoff. I can’t wait. It is still much too early to make too many snarky comments, but here are a few to get us warmed up.

Alabama is going to come out pissed off at Georgia and everybody else. Don’t forget TU that you have to play in Tuscaloosa this year. Get used to it Texas. Expect long plane and bus rides home.

LSU is going to wear helmets with air conditioning. They say it is due to the swampy, humid, bayou weather conditions. Go figure. By that reasoning it should mean that schools like Wisconsin should wear warming helmets. Talk about swamp,, there is always Florida. I was referring to the school, but if you want to think of the entire state as a backass swamp, feel free to do so.

And then there are the Texas Aggies and Jimbo’s year to do something. Alabama in Kyle Field? LSU in the Bayou with AC Helmets. But first New Mexico State. Remember Appalachian State?

And then there is Auburn – AKA Tiger Brag. Auburn stated that it is the only school in the SEC with a Buc-ees Well, what does one expect from a school whose business department was formed in the 1980’s? This Buc-ees/Auburn snark is for you, John Hawkins!

The SEC seems to be doing the Hokey Pokey when it comes to putting schedules together. Eight SEC games? Nine SEC games? One Non-Conference school? An ACC school? A religious school? A Private School? A 6A High School team from Texas? A women’s field hockey team with a trans person? It really does not matter that much. We all know that it is where they can make the most money.

Speaking of conference changes? What is all this about UConn moving to the Big 12? Really? Does Baylor or anyone else want to go to Connecticut? Does UConn know how hot it gets in Texas? That would mean Geno for women’s basketball. Where is my vomiting emoji?

As to games …With TU joining the SEC, it appears that the rivalry between THE University of Texas At Austin and Texas A&M will be renewed in 2024. Big Whoop. It seems that the location of the game is in question. TAMU AD, Ross Bjork, says “Play in Kyle Field first.” TU AD Chris Del Conte says “No.” I am certain it will be worked out by 2024.

But let us think of places the game could be played. Let’s leave out boring covered stadiums like in Arlington or Houston. How about Galveston Beach? Why not beach football? Spring Break and football combined. Beach Blanket Bingo Football.

Seriously, how about some random farmer’s field half way between College Station and Austin ala Friday Night Lights? Maybe something in Carmine or Giddings? Throw down some white lye lines. Throw up some bleachers. Play in the day to avoid lighting needs. Get some food and alcohol trucks. DONE! Maybe not even clear the field of holes and cow patties… “He slides into the endzone on a cow patty for the touchdown!”

But before there is football, the Fighting Texas Aggie baseball team faces Stanford in Palo Alto tonight. He slides safely into home plate for the win.Gig ‘Em, Aggies! BTHO Stanford Cardinal. It’s the color not the bird.

Yes -You Were the Best – RIP Tina Turner

Friday, May 26, 2023 – Yes – You Were the Best – RIP Tina Tuner

Friday, May 19, 2023 – Give Me a Head With Hair –  Prurient Sex and Martha Stewart

Friday, May 19, 2023 – Give Me a Head With Hair –  Prurient Sex and Martha Stewart

Let begin with Tales from the 2023 Texas Legislature The CROWN Act, House Bill 567, was also passed the Texas Senate. Crown stands for Creating a Respectful and Open World of Natural Hair. It prohibits discrimination based on hair texture or protective hair styles associated with race.

I think it is sad that legislation must be passed regarding hair. Haven’t we already done the hair thing once? Perhaps there should be a T-Shirt that reads – Don’t Mess With Texans’ Hair.

However, evidently the Texas Legislature can tell you what constitutes a sexually explicit performance.

From the dark alleyways in Austin, Texas — The Texas House gave initial approval to a bill restricting children from seeing “sexually explicit” performances on Friday. The bill was originally designed to restrict kids from attending drag shows, but its most recent version seeks to criminalize any live performance that the bill defines as sexual. It defines a sexually explicit performance as one in which someone is nude or appeals to the “prurient interest in sex.” 

According to Rep. Shaheen, “There is a growing trend to expose children to more and more sexual content,” said Shaheen introducing the bill on Friday. “Have you watched any TV shows? Any cable or streaming services productions?

On Friday, Republican state Rep. Matt Shaheen of Plano cited the U.S. Supreme Court’s definition of prurient interests, which is defined as “erotic, lascivious, abnormal, unhealthy, degrading, shameful, or morbid interest in nudity, sex, or excretion,” though the language’s interpretation varies by community.

Mr. Shaheen? WTF? Prurient interest? Morbid? Excretion? What kind of drag shows have you been going to? I am thinking you have been attending some of those urban legend shows along Texas/Mexican borders. The ones with donkeys or the Coca-Cola bottles? Mr. Shaheen? I have been to many drag shows and I have never seen anything shameful, morbid or degrading. And the performances were not “reserved for sexually oriented businesses.”

Are you OK with clowns, Sir? Those are people who wear make up and wear weird funky clothes too. Please Google John Wayne Gacy.

Moving on. Martha, My Dear. What were you thinking? I think you have been hanging around Snoop Dog too much. You are 81 years old and posing on the cover of Sports Illustrated. You can have lots of fabrics draped over you, but we all know that is still some saggy skin under neath.

Seriously, I like the fact Martha Stewart did this. Let’s hear for the old people! Please know that I plan to get a swimsuit, then go to the beach and have some photos taken. Remind me to purchase an extra large beach towel.

I do hope that Rep. Shaheen does not think Martha’s cover does not appeal to the “prurient interest in sex.”  Most drag shows I have attended the participants wore way more clothes than most of the SI models.

And finally, I end on a sad note. One of my consistent readers, Big Solid, passed away on Mother’s Day. He played football for Mississippi State and intercepted a pass from Alabama’s Joe Namath and returned it for a touchdown. He was always mentioned on my Monday, After College Football Awards. I always gave the Big Solid Award for an interception.This fall there will be a special Big Solid Award. Thoughts and prayers for your family!

Monday, May 15, 2023 – Book Promotion Day

Monday, May 15, 2023 – Book Promotion Day

Today is Book Promotion Day. In addition to promoting my book, I want to promote Life’s a Trip by Tarvah McGinty. I promote  hers not only because Tarvah is my friend, and I too grew up in Magnolia, Texas, I know many of the stories she tells.

The full title is Life’s a Trip! Watch for God’s Lessons along the Way. I like the direction she gives in the title – WATCH for God’s lessons along the way. She tells her story along the way life as she was growing up in the tiny town of Magnolia, Texas.

Unlike mine, which is to make readers laugh, hers is written to make people realize that it is the journey not the destination that is important. And more importantly, if God is NOT on that journey with you, it really isn’t much of a journey. If God is on that journey with you, you already know the destination.

This is a book that is filled with stories that evoke laughter, sadness, tragedy, fun, family, friends and love and faith. At the end of each story is a Bible verse, may two. The story and the Bible verse are so closely tied together.

It is a wonderful book to remind us to Watch for God’s lessons along the way. Did I forget to mention there are photos? It is truly a beautiful book how one’s faith must be the guide for the journey.

As for me and my book…

Fire extinguisher not included – Read LoRaine Burns.

Both books available on Amazon.

Wednesday, May 10, 2023 – Presenting – They’re Not Crazy – They’re Southern

Wednesday, May 10, 2023 – Presenting – They’re Not Crazy – They’re Southern

Remember that scene in the movie, Coal Miner’s Daughter where Sissy Spacek is sitting in the garden and says, “I done wrote myself a country-western song?”

Well I was sitting at the computer and “I done wrote myself a book of short funny storiesl” People often said of me that I was funny. I took that to mean humorous and nothing else.

Nevertheless, I am thrilled to have a book available on Amazon. It just went up today. In these days, we need some laughter. I hope this brings some.

It goes well with a merlot, a cabernet, a martini, and of course beer.

Thank you to those who have already purchased. Please consider leaving a review on Amazon.

You might recognize some places. You might even find your name or a variation of it.

Friday, May 5, 2023 – Cinco de Mayo

Friday, May 5, 2023 – Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.

It has nothing to do with the United States of America. Those who recall their history know that in 1862 the USA and the CSA were involved in their own war and had no interest in Mexico happenings.

According to the Washington DC-based Beer Institute, Cinco de Mayo is one of the biggest American holidays for beer sales, especially at restaurants and bars.

Therefore, Cinco de Mayo is a designated day of drinking. A tall dressed Dos  Equis is perfect with a taco, chalupa, cheese and guacamole.  I hope you celebrate the day!

Friday, April 28, 2023 – The Wall That Heals

Friday, April 28, 2023 – The Wall That Heals

The Traveling Vietnam Wall is in town this weekend.  I have lost count of the number of times I have seen the Wall in Washington D. C. and the Traveling Wall. I notice it is now referred to as The Wall that Heals, as it should be.

There are over 58,000 names of men and women who were killed in action or are still missing in action.

Every time I have an opportunity to visit either the actual wall or the replica, I search for John R. “Butch” Baldridge, Jr.  His name is located on Panel 16 Line 97. In front of his name is a cross. This signifies his remains are still missing. Some day perhaps it will change to a diamond that notes the remains have been found. In 1970, I wore a POW/MIA bracelet with Captain John R. Baldrige’s name on it. I have a photograph of the panel from the DC Memorial with Captain Baldridge’s name on a wall in my house. See the POW-MIA Dog Tags?

It is very emotional to see a name on the wall that you recognize – even if you have never met the individual. You see yourself reflected in the black granite. And you wonder – Would I have gone to this unwanted war? What if I knew and loved the individual whose name is engraved in granite?

Today I was part of what the Wall Volunteer called “A Wall Miracle.” It is when two people show up at the same panel, at the same time, looking for the same name. Now I have a rubbing with Butch’s name – John R. Baldridge, Jr. was Texas Aggie.

I asked the man doing the rubbing who he was and why he was looking a Butch’s name and he only said he was doing it for some friends.

There are still over 1500 Vietnam soldiers still missing. Ten of those, including Butch, are Texas Aggies. I hope someday, not only Butch’s, but all of the missing will be found.

Monday, April 24, 2023 – Don’t Laugh and Remember It Is in the Eye of the Beholder

Monday, April 24, 2023 – Don’t Laugh and Remember It Is in the Eye of the Beholder

Several months ago I was talking to God and I asked if He could guide me toward something else to do to fill my days. I told Him that sleeping late, going to the gym, reading books, playing golf, taking naps and watching The Price is Right and the ID Channel on TV were just not enough to fill all seven days of the week.

I kept hearing Him say “ART!” Hearing the word “art” in my brain kept on for a few weeks. I finally told God that the last experience I had with an art project was in the third grade and I had a stadium set of Crayolas.

Nevertheless the word “art” kept running through my brain. I knew I did not want to take art lessons anywhere. That would mean being someplace at a certain hour and there would be people to deal with. Two things I really do not care for.

Then from the boundless wonders of the Internet a YouTube video appeared about a painting technique called acrylic pour. I thought to myself – I have three college degrees. I bet I can pour paints into a cup and then pour it onto a canvas. Then spin the canvas or swish the paint around the canvas. So I began a new hobby. I am now a card carrying member of Michaels.

The thing I like that most about paint pours is that you never know what the finished result will be. It is somewhat like life in that you just have to trust God and the process.

Here are some examples hanging in my combination car garage and art studio. If you rotate the canvas, you can see many different things. Guess which one I named Mardi Gras. The blue one was done by rolling a marble through the paints. Anyway, I am having fun and that is the main thing.

Friday, April 21, 2023 – Softly Call the Muster

Friday, April 21, 2023 – Softly Call the Muster

To have a family member or friend to answer “Here” when my name is called at an Aggie Muster is all I want after I leave this earth. It will be just another Corps Trip and I’ll march in behind the band.

However, I do not plan on marching any time soon. Besides, I told my sister that I was not going to pass until the Fightin Texas Aggie football team won a national championship. She told me I could not live forever.

And finally, to Michael Karlis, the author of the article stating that Texas A&M University and THE University of Texas at Austin are the most cult like schools in Texas:

Dear Michael, first of all, you do not appear to be a Texan. Neither did you attend a school in Texas or even in the South. They are called traditions! Have you ever been to the LSU campus in Baton Rouge? They have a live tiger called Mac. Or even the entire state of Mississippi? I do not think Big Solid would like you to call his alma-mater, Mississippi State, a cult. So I am taking your cult school listing with big droppings of poop from Reveille and Bevo.

 No school, but Texas A&M University has a muster. Cult, tradition or just remembering your loved ones. It is because “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…”

Monday, April 17, 2023 – Can I Get You a Beer?

Monday, April 17, 2023 – Can I Get You a Beer?

Today, we talk about beer.

Some people are furious at Budweiser following the news that they named TikTok star and trans activist Dylan Mulvaney their spokesperson. Consider the source.

Dylan Mulvaney appeared in a digital ad during March Madness holding a can of Bud Light with her likeness on it. Subsequent commercials showed Kid Rock shooting cans of Bud Light and Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw showing a refrigerator with no cans of the Bud Light. (But it did show cans of Budweiser beers.)Consider the source.

So pick a source and read on.

Let us begin with a few famous beer quotes –

“I like beer!” Unqualified, sketchy Supreme Court Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh

“About beer. As far as I’m concerned, you can put it back in the horse.” My Mama

“I like beer, too, and I am smarter than Brett Kavanaugh.” Me

Here’s what I’m thinking. To all you beer drinking conservatives and country music singing people regarding the boycott of Bud Light beer:

First of all, you had no idea who Dylan Mulvaney was until somebody told you. Moving on.

While I understand your desire to pursue with whole hearted conviction and/or single-minded focus, with little or no regard to the cost, is a can of Bud Light with a picture of something/someone you don’t like, the hill you want to die on?

Granted, the boycott cost Anheuser-Busch billions of dollars. Don’t take that victory chug-a-lug yet. That translates to worker salaries, lack of sales, loss of jobs and more. Sounds like a pyrrhric victory to me. Or maybe too much foam and not enough beer. Or too much water and not enough beer

Drinking water-downed beer would be more important to me than whose picture was on the can. It seems to me you would be more upset that Anheuser-Busch is no longer an American owned company. It is owned by InBev of Belgium. Under InBev, the flagship brands that you will mostly come across in the U.S. are Stella Artois, Brahma, Beck’s, Leffe, Boddingtons, Hoegaarden, Labatt, Löwenbräu, St. Pauli Girl and Tennent’s. Under the new “Belgweiser” ownership, they add over 40 different beers and malt liquors. The most popular are the Budweiser family of beers (Bud, Bud Light, Bud Select, etc.), the Michelob Family of beers (Michelob, Michelob Light, Michelob Ultra), the Busch Family of beers (Busch, Busch Light, Busch Ice), and who can forget the Natural “Natty” Family (Natural Light & Natural Ice).

So the beer boycott hill you choose to die on is because a watered-down beer has an image on the can that you don’t do not agree with. Good luck with that and with that I think it is beer time somewhere. Oh? To the Bud Light boycotters? What beer did you drink during the boycott? I hope it was not Dos Equis or Tecate or Corona because they come from Mexico.