Friday, January 10, 2020 – Until November 28, 2020 Continued
Many of you know that Donnie Daye was my first cousin. His mother and my mother were sisters.
Donnie played on the 1958 LSU Championship Team. He was a blocking back for Heisman Winner, Billy Cannon. Allegedly Donnie threw the block in the Halloween game that sprang Billy Cannon down the sideline to score against Ole Miss.
I only have a few LSU sports related memorabilia, but I do have this shirt, some pictures Donnie’s wife Penny sent and a pic or two of me and Billy Cannon. My conversation with Billy Cannon is a great memory.
Me: Mr. Cannon? Will you sign my shirt?
BC: Oh, my goodness. Where did you get this?
Me: In Godsheaux’s in …
BC: In Plaquemine, Louisiana?
Me: Yes. Donnie Daye is my first cousin. I was visiting our aunt who lives there a couple of years ago and bought this commorative shirt.
He moved the shirt to side, and we talked for about five minutes before he signed my shirt.
I was able to get both Donnie and Billy to sign it.
Check it out – Favorite Aggie Cuz!
Donnie and Penny Daye
Donnie passed away in December 2017. This is LSU’s tribute to Donnie the following football season.
Donnie, Penny and Billy have since gone to the Big Game. But I am thinking they are saying with me…
Thursday, January 9, 2020 – Just Until November 28, 2020
Dear Friends and Especially my Family from Louisiana and to Donnie and Penny Daye and Billy Cannon in Heaven,
I have always believed that had my parents not moved to Texas I would have an LSU degree on the wall. Instead, there is a sheepskin on the wall from Texas A&M University.
Therefore, LSU fans, in anticipation of your upcoming game on January 13, 2020, celebrating the birthdays of myself and the lovely and talented CSE, who is actually from Louisiana, and the National Football Championship Game, I have written a song in anticipation victory.
Come on Joe, we gotta go me oh my oh
We gotta go pole the pirougue down the bayou
The S-E-C it just means more me oh my oh
Son of gun let’s have big fun on the bayou
Well jambalaya and a crawfish pie; make Clemson gumbo
Cause that night you gonna get football’s ma cher amino
We’ll pick guitars, fill fruit jars until Novembro,
Friday, November 15, 2019 – The Return of the Snark
This is for the three of you of missed me. I apologize. I was taking an online course from The University of Legarthy. FYI – I made an A.
We are now at the point in the season of college football where each snap matters. Every touch of the football is critical. Each down is the “big play.” As I always state, this is about teams I like or teams that play teams I like. If you follow, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State and/or Ohio State, find somebody who likes your teams.
So, this weekend, here is who I like and what I am thinking about each.
Alabama at Mississippi State at 11:00 on ESPN. See what happens when you lose a game. You get the awful 11:00 time slot. The cow bells are especially annoying at this hour.
Navy at ND 1:30 on NBC. Anchors Away! And take the weird leprechaun with you. RL, I shall await your weekly ND text.
THE University of Texas at Iowa State 2:30 on FS1. Even though Baylor students and faculty are turning the Brazos River into Holy Water for this weekend, do not look ahead. Else Bevo will be the cow in the Twister movie. The Cyclones are unpredictable.
Georgia and Auburn 2:30 on CBS. This is a keep the remote handy game with conference and bowl implications. The Snark crystal Bball says Georgia will be upset before the end of the season.
LSU and Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN. Sweet memories of the Halloween Game of days gone by. Miss you Cousin Donnie Daye. And Cousin Penny too. Geaux Tigers!
Oklahoma at Baylor 6:30 on ABC. As mentioned, the Brazos River that runs by McLane Stadium is being filled with holy water in an effort to keep Baylor undefeated. It is not like there have not been miracles on the Brazos in previous years.
ESPN Game Day will be broadcast from Waco. HWIT. This is a biggie. It is a huge game with Big 12 Conference titles and bowl game selections on line.
Fans are expected to start camping out around the stadium around 4:00 pm TODAY! The Home Depot Campus Cornhole Challenge is from 1:-30-3:30. I can’t wait until Cornhole becomes an NCAA sport.
The Snark’s crystal ball says Chip and Joanna will be guest pickers with food coming from their Magnolia Diner. The Magnolia Diner is where the original Elite on the Circle café was. If you have been to Waco and gone around “the circle” a few times, you know what I am talking about. I even have a button that says “I survived The Elite Circle.” Watch out Bears, you could get stuck in “the circle.”
With the remote firmly in hand to keep up with Baylor, naturally I shall be watching:
South Carolina at Texas A&M 6:30 on SECN. This is the last home game before Jimbo and the Ags go on the road again to Athens and Baton Rouge to close out the season.
The A&M fans will “pass it back” and will join the South Carolina fans by holding up three fingers in the third quarter to honor the life of Tyler Hilinski. Tyler is the late brother of South Carolina quarterback Ryan Hilinski. Tyler was also a Division I quarterback at Washington State. Tyler took his own life in January 2018. The family’s organization of Hilinski’s Hope calls attention to mental illness among athletes.
However, at the end of the Fourth Quarter the Aggies will
It is a delay of snark for me today. I had to go to the store to ready myself for the cold weather. There was a 50 degree temperature drop in Texas yesterday between The Panhandle and South Texas. Amarillo was blanketed in snow and it was 87 degrees in the Brazos Valley. Today it is 49 degrees. Therefore, it was necessary to obtain the four basic food groups for a drizzly, rainy, cold, baseball and football weekend. The four groups are sweet, salty, alcohol and chocolate.
Depending on what the Astros do tonight, I will not have to go to the store again Saturday for football.
But let’s get snarked on college football teams. The early morning football screen time draws are:
At 11:00 we start the day with the Texas Aggies and the Mississippi State Bulldogs on SEC Network. Hold on to your pants, Kellen! We do not want to see a moon over Kyle Field. There will be lots of maroon and white. Reveille likes Bully. Please do not bring those cowbells!
Opposite at 11:00 on ABC the Sooners of OU right their Schooner and roll over Kansas State. Jalen collects statistics!
At 2:30 THE University of Texas goes to Cowtown in Fort Worth to play TCU on Fox. If the Texas defense does not show up again this week, this could be a close one with Purple Rain.
The big football game that has significant meaning is on CBS at 2:30 with Auburn in Death Valley meeting LSU. In this battle of the tigers, Mike will be victorious over Aubie. LSU and the Burrows Boys! This is your time to put the fear of Death Valley into Auburn and the rest of the SEC!
I was told I forgot to mention Penn State last week. Penn State visits Michigan State on ABC at 2:30. This is a definite possibility for Ugly Uniform Award. So there you go I mentioned it.
At 6:00 Arkansas goes to Alabama to be rolled over by The Tide on ESPN. Another opportunity for Tua to rest.
At 6:30 the Notre Dame Fenians take their gold flaked helmets to The Big House and play Michigan. Harbaugh? If you want to save your job, this would be good time to start. Note: Fenians – one must know their Irish History.
Also on Saturday the Astros will be playing Game 4 of the World Series. In further prognostications (why say ‘guesses when a four syllable word will do?), the Astros will even the series and return to H-Town!
Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards
We can beat around the bushes; we can get down to the bone We can leave it in the parkin’ lot, but either way There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know
And was there ever a heartache for many teams this weekend.
Please form a line to the left because all teams are receiving a Poopy Undies Awards. Ugly games; Ugly wins; Ugly losses; ugly plays; ugly uniforms and ugly weather.
But the Grand Poopy Awards go to The University of Wisconsin for the last minute loss to Illinois. I would like to present the Fighting Illini, whatever an Illini is, The Colonel Henry Blake Award. It just proves that a team wearing ugly uniforms can win. Who caught the Henry Blake Award? Wisconsin 23 Illinois 24
The riders of the Sooner Schooner receive a Glad You Are OK Award. Watch out for those sharp turns. According to my sources, the last Schooner flip was in 1993 and something about the girl wearing no underwear. I was unaware that people from Oklahoma wore underwear at all. Meanwhile Jalen & Company’s OU wagons continue to roll merrily along. OU 52 – West Virginia 14
Receiving the Blowout in Your Drawers Awards are Missouri and THE University of Texas. Mr. Commodore upset Mr. Tiger if someone cares Vandy 20 – Missouri 14.
And Big Jay of the Kansas Jayhawks scared the cow poop out of Bevo. Kansas! Kansas scored 48 points. Kansas didn’t score 48 points in all of their last five games combined last year. I give the Ghosts of Football Past to the Texas defensive unit. Kansas 48 Texas 50.
If the Horns did not have Elinger, they would be number three in the Big 12. Oh wait, they are number three. And any team left can beat you, including the Bears of Baylor and you have to travel to Ames too. When was the last time Baylor was ranked ahead of the Horns in both the conference and the AP Polls? And the Bears put Holy Water in the Brazos on home game days, I am told.
The Bears of Baylor receive the John Deere Green Helmets Award for cool headwear. The Bears did spoil Oklahoma State’s Homecoming 47 to 27.
The Ain’t No Jalen or Sunshine When He’s Gone Award goes to Alabama for the loss of Tua. But the Tide still rolls 35 to 13 over Tennessee. Get well, Tua.
The Texas Aggies receive the Butt Ugly Award for a very ugly win in Oxford against Ole Miss. Where does fog originate in Oxford, Mississippi? TAMU 24 – Ole Miss 17
Speaking of butts, the best play of any football game this weekend goes to QB Joe Burrows of LSU and Mississippi State. Let’s all sing in Heisman award-winning harmony:
We saw your hiney; it was bright and shiney
It made us giggle when you wiggled.
Therefore, Joe and the LSU Tigers receive the Moon Over Mississippi State Award! Did you notice that Mr. Burrows showed his true, Southern gentlemanly character? He first took care of the football and then tried to pull up his pants. One must like a man that has his football priorities in order.
The worse, as in You Suck and SHAME ON YOU Award, goes to CBS for the broadcasting the incident in slow motion! Did Nessler and Danielson call this game? I am with the Baton Rouge Advocate – apologize to LSU and the rest of us for your lack of taste and poor announcing.
Friday, October 17, 2019 – A Snarky Friday Drinking Game
Are you ready?
Hell Yeah. Damn right!
Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty
Who the Hell are we?
Bim Bam Flim Flam
Ole Miss by damn.
Since Texas A&M is travelling to Oxford to play the Ole Miss, today we snark with a toddy drinking game. Grab your favorite beverage and play along. For each incorrect answer, you must take a shot.
What is the name of the mascot for each college football team listed below?
Let us begin with a few easy ones. For example:
Texas A&M – Reveille
THE University of Texas – Bevo
Remember. Name the mascot; not the team.
Alabama – Big Al. It is the name of the anthropomorphic (dressed up college student) elephant. The homecoming queen used to ride in on an elephant. Some traditions need to be brought back. Drink up.
Georgia – UGA the bulldog. A very cool, live mascot, but drools.
LSU – Mike, the Tiger. How could you not know this? One of the most beautiful live mascots in football.
Mississippi State – Bully the bulldog. Very cool live mascot. Does he wear a cowbell around his neck?
LSU at Mississippi State at 2:30 on CBS.
Arkansas – Tusk. Big ugly, black hog.
Auburn – Aubie the Tiger. Anthropomorphic, fake Tiger. Aubie? What is the war eagle’s name? AubieBird? You didn’t know either one of those. Drink!
Auburn at Arkansas 11:00 SEC
Florida – Albert and Alberta Gator. Drink up. I know you did not know this one. I think they should be Mr. and Mrs. Choppers. Albert and Alberta are kinda cute anthropomorphic critters if you are into mascots that can kill you.
Florida at South Carolina at 11:00 on ESPN
Think you are doing well? Let’s move on. Hic!
Ole Miss – Tony the Land Shark. Drink up. You know you said Rebels. Tony the Land Shark became the Ole Miss mascot in August of 2018. It has to do with a former Ole Miss player who was an Iraqi veteran. I have no idea why it is a shark, especially since Oxford is almost in Tennessee.
Texas A&M at Ole Miss at 6:30 on SEC.
Tennessee – Smokey. A coon hound, but I’m sure he Volunteers for the honor.
Tennessee at Alabama 8:00 ESPN.
Vanderbilt – Mr. Commodore. Really? Just Mr. Commodore? Not even Cornelius or Gloria? Maybe Stingy Railroad Tycoon was already taken.
Baylor – Judge Joy and Judge Lady. Did you know that in 1914 the choice of mascots was between “Bears” and “Bookworms? “In 1974, the student body voted to name all the bears “Judge” followed by a surname in honor of the university’s namesake, Judge R.E.B. Baylor. Baylor’s current mascots are “Joy,” named in honor of the wife of President Emeritus (and former Chancellor) Herbert H. Reynolds, and the newest mascot, “Lady” named after Sue Sloan, wife of then-President Dr. Robert B. Sloan Jr.
Oklahoma State –Pistol Pete. But did you know that Bullet is the name of the black quarter horse ridden prior to OSU home games?
Oklahoma State and Baylor 3:00 on Fox
Kansas – Big Jay. Sounds like a rapper.
Kansas at THE University of Texas at 6:00 on LHN.
OU – Boomer and Sooner. I think they are anthropomorphic horses.
OU and WVa at 11:00 on Fox
SMU – Peruna. Not a fake horse. The horse was named after a popular patent medicine made up of 18 % alcohol.
Texas Tech – The Masked Rider. I really think Tech should rethink the mascot thing. Red Raider, Masked Rider with Guns Up is a no. The Texas Tech Flying Tortillas has potential.
Ohio State – Brutus Buckey. But if you said Pot Leaves Helmet, at this point in the game, we’ll take it. Drink.
And last and least – Notre Dame – Leprechaun. Leprechaun? Saints preserve us. No name. Not even a Mr. Leprechaun? Not even a Saint Patrick? Or a Muffet? Just Leprechaun? If ND is the Fighting Irish, I think the mascot should be named the IRA or Sinn Fein. Just saying.
RL? Did you know those gold, faux halo helmets of ND are really painted with gold? 23/9 karat gold flake in the paint of every helmet. Sounds flakey to me.
How many drinks did you take? Can you say anthropomorphic?
Monday, October 14, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
May I have the trophies, please?
Our first awards are Bad Sportsmanship Awards. This is given to THE University of Texas and Oklahoma. Both teams received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty BEFORE the game even started.
The Queen QB Under Pressure Award goes to THE University of Texas QB Sam Elinger. Poor Sam also receives The Blue Skies of Texas of Award because he saw so many blue skies looking up from the ground.
Moving to the Alabama Texas A&M game. The Memorial Brent Mushberger Mouth Award goes to Brad Nessler. This award was handed out with Nessler’s opening words when he said “Reveille’s barking and HE’S ready to make HIS way into the stadium.” Next time you refer to Miss Reveille as a HE, I guarantee the Aggies will take you from a rooster to a hen with one swift, well-placed saber swing. And what was wrong with Gary Danielson? He actually said complimentary things about the Aggies. But alas, time ran out on the Aggies. Time may run out several times more before next season.
To the Crimson Tide who rolled over the Aggies. You received The Hard Work Award because you had to work hard to roll over the Ags. I am awarding the Alabama Head Coach, Nick Saban, The Worried Man Award. It takes a worried man to sing a worried song. Mr. Nick, you looked worried during the entire game!
Best part of the game was the helicopter flyover from the 36 Combat Aviation Brigade of the Texas Army National Guard. I caught a glimpse as they flew over the house.
I was amiss with Snarky Friday’s comments by not mentioning Mississippi State and Tennessee. It was due to the fact that I left out a category – Coach’s Hot Seat. Therefore, I give both the Bulldogs of State and the Vols of Tennessee the Coach’s Hot Seat Award.
From Waco we have a beginning shot.
And an ending shot. With Halloween in a few weeks, I am awarding the Baylor Bears The Thriller Award for Double OT and a win against Tortilla Tech. Did you realize when Baylor plays Texas Tech it becomes BU/TT or BUTT. Let’s see what you got next week Bears.
I regret I did not get a pic of Sailor Bear helmets, my all time favorite bear. But trust me when I award Best Uniforms to Baylor. Trust me when I award worst to Iowa and Penn State. Was it The Ugly Uniform Bowl?
The LSU Tigers receive The Gumbo Award made with alligators. Great game Tigers. This could be your year in January!
At a fitting end to the awards are The Poopy Undies Awards given for scaring their fans. There were many. Of course, Baylor and TT each receive a trophy. But I awarded a Poopy Undies to the fans of South Carolina and Georgia at half time. At the end of regulation, I gave Georgia The Full Blown Blowout in Your Drawers.
To the South Carolina Gamecocks I award The William Tecumseh Sherman Award, because you marched like Sherman through Georgia from Atlanta to the Sea. WOW.
To Georgia, as you watched the spheroid miss the uprights in the second overtime that would have tied the game and send to a triple OT, you win The Giant Thriller Award.
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream
But terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze
As horror looks you right between your eyes
Friday, October 11 – A Snarky Friday Musical – College Football Week Seven
But first, the Football Snark would like to begin with a Big Green and Gold Snark to Baylor and to the idiots who voted Baylor ahead of The Texas Aggies in the top 25. I do not care if you are 5 and 0. Play Clemson, Alabama, Georgia and LSU and then we’ll talk RPI. Oh well, the Aggies don’t have to play Oklahoma or THE University of Texas. Nevertheless, I do hope the Bears open a big can of Brazos River Whoop Ass on Tortilla Tech.
There are only a three games worth watching this Saturday, but each one has critical consequences for conference championships, bowl games and individual honors. Fortunately, the TV Gods and Goddesses of college football programming ensured that we can watch them all one right after another.
First at 11:00 am we have the Red River Rivalry between Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas on Fox. The Horns and the Sooner Fans will be rushing to The Cotton Bowl. Of course, if you know where The Cotton Bowl Stadium is located in Dallas, one knows you do not want to spend a great deal of time without rushing along in the Hood.
So put that Sooner Schooner hat on, get your honey lamb and I and sing along with our first musical number celebrating the game as the winds comes whipping down the plains for…
…We know we belong to the land!
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say, yeeow-a-yip-i-o-ee ay!
We’re only sayin’ You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma, Heisman!
At 2:30 on CBS (oh crap, does that mean Gary Danielson will announce? Oh yucky face emoji.) The Fighting Texas Aggies, Home of The 12th Man, guarded by Reveille, The Wonder Woman Collie and fans with memories of Johnny Manziel, host The Rolling Crimson Tide from Alabama. If you’re going a play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in your band.
So tune up those guitars, banjos and fiddles as the residents of The Brazos Valley welcome the Fans of The Alabama Crimson Tide with this musical number. Hit it, Band!
Oh, I come from Alabama
With a banjo on my knee
I’m going to College Station
The Aggies for to see.
Oh that 12th Man, Oh, don’t you yell on me,
But I will then beat Georgia and win the SEC.
It rained all night the day I left
The weather it was dry,
The sun so hot I frozen myself
But that’s the Texas skies!
Oh that 12th Man, Oh don’t you yell on me
But I’ll take of Auburn, a game we want to see.
I had a dream the other night;
When everything was still,
I dreamed I saw Miss Reveille
She was coming down the hill,
A crimson rose was in her mouth
A tear was in her eye
I said it is the last year, so Rev don’t you cry.
Wait till next year, when Jimbo takes you down,
But welcome to College Station where Aggies are found.
If those two contests do not have you cussing, singing and screaming at the TV, you still have a chance at 7:00 on ESPN when the Legends of Steve Spurrier and the Florida Gators invade Death Valley in Baton Rouge to try to chomp the LSU Tigers. Advance warning: The Gators will wear orange helmets, blue jerseys and blue pants. Anyone ever see a blue alligator?
But on to our final musical number. Since I was a small child, I was taught by my Louisiana relatives, NEVER PULL FOR A TEAM FROM FLORIDA! I also could sing this song until I drank the maroon kool-aid.
So let’s hear it for the Girls in Gold and Purple sequins with the mysterious black bags. and the LSU Marching Band – The Golden Band from Tiger Land. GEAUX TIGERS! Note: the bags are filled with gator bait from Bayou Teche.
And I want to see everybody up and doing a high kick routine toward the end.
Monday, September 23, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Four
Happy first day of fall. The projected high today in Texas is 93 degrees but feels like 97.
Let’s begin with Poopy Undies for everybody. Why not? Pretend it is one of those participation awards.
My first award today goes to the Ole Miss Rebels. You receive The Dreaded Threaded Incline Plane Award because you got screwed on the goal line against the Hippy Bears of California. Not once, but twice. Ole Miss 20 and Cal 28. Berkley is a long way from Oxford, ain’t it?
The Tide continues to roll even though they have yet to play anybody. So, let’s give Tua and Nick the You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet Award and the Stack the Stats for a Heisman Award.
The Methodist of SMU and the Baptists of Baylor won against their old SWC rivals by winning against the Horn Frogs of TCU and the Owls of Rice? Both the Mustangs and Bears win the For Old Times Sake Award.
LSU stomped the Commodores of Vanderbilt 66-38. The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Vanderbilt. That faded drab gray just made Little Gloria turn over in her grave. Those uniforms looked like they mated with a battleship. They were so ugly, I cannot find any pics on the Internet.
My Wimp Award goes to Auburn.
A tent? Really? It was not hot. It was barely 90 degrees. Did you forget your sunscreen? Did you not remember that the home team – the Aggies’– bench is in shade on the side where the alumni sit and where the money comes from? The visitors always sit on the student side facing the sun with the students standing and yelling behind you.
I award The Texas Aggies the Number Four Award and As Time Goes by Award. For future games, Ags, please try to show up for all FOUR quarters of the game – especially the first one. And do not let time run out. Auburn 28 Aggies 20 I do not want to post this selfie, palm plant face again.
It was great game between THE University of Texas and Oklahoma State. The Horns receive the One State One Win Award. You beat one team of two teams from Louisiana and will beat one of two teams from Oklahoma. Glad you lit the Tower for this one.
Thank you, Carrie Y for taking and thank you, Roomie for sending.
The pic is a bit fuzzy, but then again, so are the Longhorns. Oklahoma State 30 Texas 38
And for The Best Game of the year, so far, the trophy goes to Georgia and Notre Dame!
To the Fighting Irish, let’s sing the Fight Song:
Flop, flop for old Notre Dame
Fall on the ground, pretend you’re in pain;
To try to slow the Bull Dawgs down;
But you couldn’t win the game!!!!
My Confessional Award goes to me and my friend RL.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned,
Hoping that Notre Dame never wins again;
Hail Mary, full of grace
UGA and the Dawgs put you in your place.
RL tends to say, “Coitus ND!” which is much shorter, but I’m not sure that would fly in the confessional booth.
My Exploding Head Coach Award goes to Brian Kelly of Notre Dame.
I am pretty sure, Coach, you need to go to confession for your string of profanities you spewed at the ref.
The Hoover Announcer Award for sucking the most while allegedly calling a football game goes to the Booth Mouths who were in the booth for the Texas A&M and Auburn game. Neuheisel? Was this your first trip east of California in a while? Well, at least he did not sing and play the guitar. Nueheisal? You make me miss Brent Mushburger.
To the officiating crew in Kyle Field on Saturday: You must have missed the day the pass interference was taught. When a 70-year-old woman, who never played a down of football and has nothing to put in a jock strap can call the penalty, then something is wrong. So, to the zebra shirted crew, you win the Helen Keller School of Incompetency Award. Note: same school as refs for Ole Miss and Cal.
And to the end zone.
Kudos again to ESPN for airing another touching tribute to Wendy Anderson, her family and Arkansas State. Ladies! Get those ta-tas squished and checked. You can win this one for Wendy.
Speaking of Arkansas, next week, Aggies have the Bacon Bowl in Arlington.