Tag Archives: College Football; Texas Aggies

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!

Photo by me 1986. Old Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Demolished in 2010.

Tonight: Astros/Yankees 7:08 FS1 – Not this Year Yanks! BTHO Yankees!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017 – Yesterday – A Day to Remember – Eclectic Tuesday or A Little Something for Everyone.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017 – Yesterday – A Day to Remember – Eclectic Tuesday or A Little Something for Everyone.

What I have been told my brain looks like.

What a day to remember. Were you able to see the eclipse? I actually went outside at 1:11 CST with my two paper plates and saw the moon partially block the sun in my little shadow. I plan to be alive in 2024 when the next solar eclipse passes over Texas.

They, whoever, “they are,” say a total eclipse brings super powers. I have not selected my super power yet because I cannot decide what I want my super power to be. That changing water into wine sounds like it would a useful skill and very popular at parties, but a cloak of invisibility has potential. Right now I will settle for a Texas Aggie quarterback with superpowers.

It was the first day back to school for Bryan ISD. Apparently all went smoothly save for the usual number of students still on the school bus at 6:00 PM with parental units in an uproar at the bus barn.

Events were going well until the POTUS spoke. I kept remembering Fish Cheer from Woodstock. No I was not there.

Come on all you big strong men, Uncle Sam needs your help again. Got himself in a terrible jam, way over yonder in Afghanistan.

Historically speaking, Afghanistan is a Black Hole in the history of the world. The geography is such that no country in history has been able to achieve a victory. To even mention Pakistan is like bringing gasoline to a bonfire – an Indian one. Good luck with this, Donald John.

I have some questions. Why was it necessary to make the Afghanistan speech at Fort Myers? The Secret Service is already out of money and can’t make payroll. Do you plan to give your salary to them or continue to charge them? How about those 700 plus government officials recently kicked out of Russia? Can your savings on that payroll be transferred to the Secret Service?

What else? I forgot to mention another new award I plan to give on my Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. This is the Dreadlocks Award. Fake News Sports reports that athletes with dreadlocks run 2.6 seconds faster than athletes that do not sport dreadlocks.

Did you read HWIT last week about the finalists for fried foods at the Texas State Fair? Texas Monthly published photos of them. Here is the Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger.

You can click on the link to view the other so called foods. http://www.texasmonthly.com/the-daily-post/agony-ecstasy-state-fair-food-finalists/

The article is pretty funny. I am sorry – Fried chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick and Pinot Noir Popcorn and tamale filled donuts are just wrong.

The Gulf Coast Fish Bowl looks like something I made in the third grade and gave my Mother for Mother’s Day. It has a straw in it. It could be brown salt water.

If you do go The State Fair of Texas and take your grandchildren, please send your photos of one of these dishes- preferably including a selfie. Remember to say Hi to Big Tex. This means you Mr. and Mrs. Tedder.