Monthly Archives: November 2021

Monday, November 29, 2021 – My Late, but Still Monday College Football Awards

To Baylor and to Oklahoma State: Congratulations! Good Luck in the Big 12 Game. Both of you win the Good Game Award.

And to every other team that played on Saturday: Each of you receive the Hoover Vacuum Award because you all sucked!

To the Texas Aggie Nation: Please return the defibrillators to their appropriate location.

Friday, November 26, 2021 – Snarky Friday

Obviously with games being played on Thursday and Friday, I am late in getting my snarks in for Saturday.

IT’S RIVALRY WEEK! This usually means the State school and the Land Grant School meet in a bitter rivalry in some strange bowl name.

For example: Ole Miss (University of Mississippi) and Mississippi State played on Thanksgiving. This game is called The Egg Bowl. It began in 1927. There was a huge fight after the Ole Miss (not to be confused the Young Miss) defeated Mississippi State, which was originally called Mississippi A&M.

Ole Miss fans rushed the field with some trying to tear the goalposts down. State fans did not take well to the Ole Miss fans destroying their property and fights broke out. Some State fans defended the goal posts with wooden chairs, and several injuries were reported. According to one account:

“Irate State supporters took after the ambitious Ole Miss group with cane bottom chairs, and fights broke out. The mayhem continued until most of the chairs were splintered.”

Wait. I got confused and thought I was writing about a Texas Tech game. Sorry.

To prevent such events in the future, students of the two schools created the “Golden Egg,” a large trophy which has been awarded to the winning team each year since 1927. The trophy is a large football-shaped brass piece mounted to a wooden base and traditionally symbolizes supremacy in college football in the state of Mississippi for the year. The footballs used in the 1920s were considerably more ovoid and blunter than those in use today and similar to the balls still used in rugby. So the trophy resembles an egg rather a football of today. The trophy more resembles an egg than a football. Personally, I attribute the odd design to the educational system in the state. Ole Miss won The Egg Bowl last night by defeating Mississippi State 31 to 21.

Kansas State at texas university.  Looks like BEVO just closed out their dismal season with a win and snapping a six game losing streak. Kansas State 17 texas university 22.

There are more games on TV this afternoon and this evening, but I do not want to waste any snark on them. On to Saturday.

Two Big Games at 11:00 and probably worth getting up for.

On FS1 we have The BUTT Bowl between Baylor University and The Beer Can Throwing Tortilla Tossing Referee Outing Neither state nor land-grant Texas Tech University. Sic ‘Em Bears but watch yourself.

Ohio State and Michigan – Another big game at 11:00 am on Fox. You can bet on ugly helmets and maybe ugly uniforms for both teams.

2:30 on CBS we have Alabama and Auburn in The Iron Bowl.

Speaking of fights… Following Reconstruction (Is Reconstruction considered Critical Race Theory?) Anyway, the Alabama  Congress fought for over four years regarding the location of the land grant school. The location was finally decided it would be in the City of Auburn.

The first Iron Bowl, so named because of the iron industry, game was played in Birmingham in 1893. Auburn won, 32-22. Because of a disagreement the two teams stopped playing after the 1907 season. They didn’t resume playing until 1948 after the Alabama Congress threatened the schools with a loss of funding. Love that Alabama Legislature.

The two teams play for the  Foy–ODK Trophy is named after James E. Foy, a former dean of students at Auburn, and Omicron Delta Kappa, an honor society on both campuses since the 1920s. It ranks up there with Phi Beta Kappa and other pseudo secret societies for really smart people. I know. I am having trouble visualizing a chapter on the Auburn campus too.

This should be a good one. In 1995 the Atlanta Braves won the World Series and Auburn won the Iron Bowl. The Atlanta Braves won the 2021 World Series. Just saying.

IT’S BEDLAM in Oklahoma! Oklahoma State (the land grant school) welcomes the state University of  Oklahoma at 6:30 on ABC. The Big 12 Title and more is on the line. Go Pokes!

At 6:00 on ESPN The land grant Fighting Texas Aggies visit the land grant Louisiana Fighting Tigers. I do not think this rivalry has a bowl name yet. May I suggest The Overtime Bowl?

The teams are playing in Death Valley, and it is the last game for Coach Orgeron. The Tigers will come out with fire in their eyes.

From the Oak Ridge Boys…

This is down in the swampland, anything goes
It’s alligator bait and the bars don’t close
It’s the real thing down in Louisiana
Did you ever see a Cajun when he really got mad
When he really got trouble like a daughter (or a team) gone bad
It gets real hot down in Louisiana
The stranger better move it or he’s gonna get killed
He’s gonna have to get it or a shotgun will
It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches
There ain’t no time for lengthy speeches.

I hope the Aggies do not become alligator bait. And I hope the Aggies can leave Louisiana in the broad day light.

BTHO LSU!!!

Thursday, November 25, 2021 – Snarky Friday Preview

As you digest the turkey and dressing, don’t forget The University of Mississippi is hosted by Mississippi State in Starkeville on ESPN at 6:30.

Grab your popcorn, Kiffy! Let’s go Bulldogs! Air Raid, Mike!

Happy Thanksgiving!  

Monday, November 22, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards

It is difficult to put together an awards post today since I did not watch any day football games. Nevertheless here are my awards for Week 12.

Hair Dryer Awards for Blow Outs go to:

• Texas A&M 52 Prairie View A&M 3
• Georgia 55 Charleston South 7
• Mississippi State 55 Tennessee State 10
• Kentucky 56 New Mexico State 16
• Ohio State 56 Michigan State 7
• ND 55 Georgia Tech 0

The You Lost to Who Award? goes to

• Florida 23 Missouri 24 – And we send the U-Haul Truck to Coach Dan Mullens
• South Carolina 21 Auburn 17 – The Second Half Fall Apart Award goes to Auburn
• Oregon 7 Utah 38 – The Ducks could not handle the Utes.
• Texas 23 West Virginia 31 – Oh texas! I cannot even give you a capital T. You also receive The No Bowl Award for 2021.

These were the only games I actually saw.

Arkansas 35 Alabama 42 – I must give the Hogs The Jolly Good Try for actually giving Bama all they good handle. Alabama? I am giving you the Salsa Award because you are going to have to pick up the Pace.

Oklahoma State 23 Texas Tech 0 – In the typical Tech fashion, the entire team, fans, and anybody else wearing black and red receive the ZERO Award for being total zeros regarding sportsmanship. Last week the Tech announcers were put on hold for not only criticizing the refereeing group on air, but then giving out their names on air.

This week you cause a delay of the game not once, but twice for throwing tortillas and beer cans onto the field. You receive the NO Respect Award because you do not even respect your home field. No wonder every team hates to go to Lubbock.

Monday, November 15, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards

There are only a few awards for this week because, well, I don’t know. It’s just short.

A&M 19 – Ole Miss 29 – Let’s get it over with and start with the Texas Aggies receiving the John Greenleaf Whittier Award. For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been.” Nevertheless, The 12th Man still stands.

But on to happier things.

Alabama 59 New Mexico State 3 – You are not getting an award for this blowout. You may have a cupcake. I know the cafeteria workers played the last five minutes.

Arkansas 16 LSU 13 in Overtime. Let’s give both teams a Participation Certificate and a Poopy Undies Award. There is always Thanksgiving to think about.

Iowa State 38 Texas Tech 41 – Tech wins the Kicker Award for kicking a 62 yard field goal to win the game. Of course in typical Tech fashion, Tech receives the Police Escort Award for security having to escort their fans (i.e. students) from the stadium for throwing trash (could it be tortillas?) on to the field.

Speaking of sportsmanship, OU claims poor sportsmanship on Baylor for kicking a late field goal. What else you got, OU? Here, you can take home, the Boy, Am I Pissed Off Award. Let me “take one second” and give Baylor Second Place in the Best of the Best Award. OU 14 Baylor 27.

Mississippi State 43 Auburn 34 – I am giving the entire Bulldog team the Best of the Best Award. Air Raid Mike does it again! It was the last flight of the Auburn War Eagle. Just like the first war eagle, this one (as in team) took a nose dive and died in the end zone. So much for the Iron Bowl.

Kansas 57 Texas 56 OT – I am awarding the entire team of Kansas Jayhawks the Even Better Than the Best Award. I am awarding texas an album from the group, Kansas. And horns? You also receive the “Is My Face Red” Embarrassment Award for not only losing to Kansas, but in DKR Memorial Stadium in Austin and in OT. The SEC would like to revoke the invitations to both OU and TU.

Friday, November 5, 2021 – Snarky Friday for Week Ten

There could be a whole lotta shaking going on this week. Since I don’t really care about the other teams in the mix, you can check those out yourself.

The following teams will be on my screens this weekend. Therefore I have selected the one which to snark.

Who is up for the early game? Liberty at Ole Miss at 11:00 on the SEC Network. Liberty Liberty Liberty! Lemu, Emu and Doug! Not that Liberty? Actually that is a relief. I thought we would have to watch the obnoxious commercials even more. The mascot for the Lynchburg, Virginia school is (are)The Flames – as in Hell, I think.

This is an interesting match-up. Hotty Toddy, the Ole Miss crowd has not even finished their first bloody Mary in The Grove by 11:00 AM. Speaking of The Grove and Liberty, I guess they won’t be serving sex on the beach drinks before or after the game. The Liberty coach, Hugh Freeze used to coach at Ole Miss. Nevertheless, it is in my best interest to pull for Liberty. Let’s go Freezing Flames!

The 2:30 games have much on the line.

I will not be watching, but you have Tulsa at Cincinnati at 2:30 on ESPN. Tulsa? This is why you are Number six in the rankings, Cincinnati. You must play a power team. The Tulsa Hurricanes do not count. Isn’t Tulsa landlocked?

The Big 12 games of interest are at 2:30.

Baylor visits Fort Worth to play TCU. Kick off is at 2:30 on Fox. The Patterson less Horn Frogs could spew blood from their eyes (that is what they do) if Baylor does not take care of business Saturday and dreams about OU. Therefore, I am piping in Bachman – Turner Over Drive on the bus to Fort Worth – to remind you that it is time to be Takin’Care of Business.

Oklahoma State at West Virginia at 2:30 on ESPN. West Virginia tries to maintain the top of the bottom four of the Big 12. Oklahoma State tries to make Bedlam interesting.

Mississippi State goes to Arkansas. They kick off at 3:00 on the SEC Network. Go State!

LSU plays Alabama play on ESPN in Tuscaloosa. Even LSU let Coach O finish the season. Do not let down your guard.

That’s it. Wait. It seems as though I have left out a couple. Here we are.

It took me a while to find the University of Texas game since the team is not in the Top 25. Aah! The game is in Ames, Iowa. The Horns visit Iowa State at 6:30 on FS1. The Game in Ames Stays Mainly on the Plains! Texas also tries to be the top of the bottom four of the Big 12 Conference.

Lastly, but truly a game of consequences for many and with many eyes watching is Auburn University visits Texas A&M University. Auburn at TAMU at 2:30 on CBS.

It is important to know certain things about one’s opponent. I read a history of Auburn University and will now share my thoughts.

Originally the school was called The East Alabama Male College and was founded in 1856. In 1871 the name was changed to Agricultural and Mechanical College of Alabama, and it became a land grant school. In 1899 the name was changed again to the Alabama Polytechnic Institute.  In 1960 the name was officially changed to Auburn. 1960!

I understand that there were several fires in the libraries during the early years. In one fire all fifteen of the books were burnt to a crisp. The librarians were able to save five of the books that had not been colored in.

Auburn’s name comes from the 1770 poet, Oliver Goldsmith. The opening line from The Deserted Village is,

“Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plain, where health and plenty cheared the labouring swain.”

The gist of the poem the idealization of life that is being destroyed by the loss of agrarian ways of life due to greed of landlords, economic and political change. Too bad that book didn’t burn in the library fires.

Who in the Flames of Liberty names an institution of higher education from a line a poem? An old poem by an Irishman written in the 18^th century! One named Deserted Village? It was 1960 and this was the best you could come up with? What were the other options? “Call me, Ishamel” was not available?

Finally the mascot. Auburn’s mascot is a Tiger. Its name is Aubie. It is a person in a tiger outfit that spends time twirling his tail.

War Eagle is battle cry. Here is the alleged origin.

A Civil War veteran found an injured eagle on the battle field. He took it home and kept it for over 30 years. At the 1892 game between the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Alabama and Georgia, the veteran brought the eagle to the game. Who brings a bird of prey to a football game? This was somewhat of an indicator of the level of education being offered at the time.

The bird got loose (after 30 years I would go for it too) and circled the field, just as the Alabama A&M team reached the end zone. Fans began to cheer “WAR EAGLE!”  I think the bird made a few more circles and swoops and then took a sudden nose dive into the ground and was dead. The chant remained. So I suppose War Eagle is better than Dead Bird.

So Auburn! Bring your labouring swain to Kyle Field because The 12^th Man has health and will cheer plenty.

BTHO AUBURN!