Friday, January 26, 2018 – From the Ferrell Center on the Baylor Campus
If you liked yesterday photographs, I hope you enjoy these. Two great teams.
Baylor won. Not a good night for the Longhorns. We shall see what happens in Austin.
Friday, January 26, 2018 – From the Ferrell Center on the Baylor Campus
If you liked yesterday photographs, I hope you enjoy these. Two great teams.
Baylor won. Not a good night for the Longhorns. We shall see what happens in Austin.
Monday, November 21, 2016 -The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards and the Best College Team Football Team in Texas
Let’s begin with the UGLY Awards and there are many to be awarded.
First Place Ugly Award for really ugly is presented to THE University of Texas who somehow lost to a one (1) and nine (9) Kansas team in overtime no less. Perhaps it was those ugly blue bunting bird looking uniforms KU wore. (Thank you Dr. K.) The last time THE University of Texas lost to Kansas was 1938. Write that on your Rock Chalk, Jayhawk sidewalk.
The Star-Kist Tuna Award – Sorry, Charlie – is awarded to Head Coach Charlie Strong of The University of Texas. I sincerely thought and hoped it would be a good fit for all. The good news is that lots of coaches have FOR SALE signs in their front yards too with more coming soon.
With a possible FOR SALE sign in his yard, we have the Second Place Ugly Award presented to Texas Tech for losing to Iowa State 66 -10.Tech scored when the Iowa State women’s soccer team took over in the fourth quarter.
Third Place Ugly Award is presented to Baylor University losing to K-State 42-21.
Fourth Place Ugly Award is presented to the Texas Aggies for surviving 23-10 against The University of Texas @ San Antonio.
This presents a distinct possibility that Texas A&M and Baylor will meet in the We Suck Bowl to be played in a big high school stadium somewhere between Houston and Dallas.
In Other Awards
The Cat that Ate the Cardinal Award goes to The University of Houston Cougar(s) who ate the Cardinals of Louisville 36 to 10 spoiling all Louisville hopes for a big bowl and maybe Lamar’s Heisman hopes. Nice cat smile, Shasta.
The Snow Globe Game Award– Snow U/OU Award goes to OU vs. W.Va. – OU 56 West Virginia 28. I am glad OU wore red pants with their white jerseys; otherwise one would have lost them in the snow and on the field after it stopped snowing. West Virginia still was unable to find them on the field – red pants and all.
The Taste like Chicken Award goes Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State as they dined on frog legs defeating TCU 31-6.
This sets up the Big 12 Conference Title to be determined at Bedlam next week. Notice: neither of the schools is in Texas.
Michigan and Ohio State both receive Poopy Undies Awards with Ohio State escaping Michigan State 17 to 16. Michigan had more difficulty than anticipated winning over Indiana 20 to 10.
This sets up The Big Ten Title game between Ohio State and Michigan next week. I am going with the team that wears ugly helmets.
The Thanks for Participating Awards go to Alabama and Auburn. Both teams won handily, but both should have against Cupcake We’ll Take the Gate Receipts schools. This sets up the Iron Bowl next week. Roll Tide.
The Longest Yard Award goes to Florida for stopping LSU on the goal line on fourth and one to defeat the tigers and win the SEC East. Score: Florida – 16 to LSU – 10. Yea. Guess who’s coming to College Station for Thanksgiving Dinner?
It was definitely a week of ugly in Texas football. But there is one bright orange spot coming out of Huntsville, Texas.
The best football school currently in the state of Texas is the #5 Sam Houston State University Bearkats. The Bearkats are undefeated for the second time in program history and will host the winner of Weber State and Chattanooga on Saturday, Dec. 3 at 2 p.m. from Bowers Stadium.
Perhaps there is National Champion Football Shirt from one of my alma maters in my future after all.
Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!
Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.
Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.
The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.
Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.
First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.
In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?
THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.
The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.
The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10. Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?
The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:
Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!
The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.
The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.
And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.
The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:
Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.
Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!
Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.
Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”
As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”
Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
Backstory for the new kids on the blog – I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. If your team is not mentioned let me know and I take it under consideration.
First from the West Coast – USC versus Oregon – I don’t even know the score, but you both receive the Rubber Duck Award.
Next on the list we have the Small 12 Conference or The Land of No Defenses.
THE University of Texas survived the plains of Lubbock with a victory over Tortilla Tech. (THE University 45 TT 37.) My favorite team is whoever is playing Tech.
Oklahoma State 43 K-State 37. Mullet Mike and The Cowboys survive. Both of you win a Poopy Undies Award for scaring your fans.
The Kick Off to Tip Off Awards goes to Baylor and TCU for posting a basketball score of TCU 62 Baylor 22 on the opening weekend of college basketball season. And the score was not the only Uglies coming from Waco.
An Ugly Uniform Award goes to Baylor. Fifty shades of Waco is not becoming. Gray is not colorful. Neither is black as in the black cloud of ugly that seems to be a stationary front over the institution. Therefore, Baylor also receives the Frozen Award – Let It Go!
Look, Bears Pooping in the Woods, it is bad enough without constant reminders of ugly. Please do not hang dirty laundry out your windows. Who gets the sales from the T-shirts?Focus on the low level bowl game invitation you will now receive.
Letting go of that, let’s move on to the Top 10 and the SEC where games are more exciting and stressful.
The Bringing Home the Alligator Bacon goes to the Hogs of Arkansas! (Arkansas 31 Florida 10) Sooey Pig over 11th ranked Florida. Another favorite team is whoever is playing any school from Florida.
To players Chip Kelly of Ole Miss; Trevor Knight and Myles Garrett of Texas A&M, the Nebraska QB and all the others: All of you receive the Heal Quickly Award. Will miss you next weekend, Chip. I wanted to see you play against the Aggies.
And now the top tiered top ten college football awards. These 10 teams are listed according to today’s AP listings. Tomorrow we see who The Selection Committee votes for the Who’s In Top Four. Larry Culpepper and Dr. Pepper seem to be winning above all the others.
# 1 Alabama and LSU – (Bama 10 – LSU 0) Please share the following awards:
# 2 Michigan Maryland (Michigan 59 MD 3.) Michigan wins the Turtle Wax Award for waxing the Terrapins. Wolverines like turtles.
# Clemson and Syracuse (Clemson 54 Syracuse 0) – Clemson Wins the Too Much Orange on the Field Award.
# 4 Washington and Cal (formerly known as Berkley.) (Washington 66 Cal 27) Huskies receive the In the Right Rankings Now Award.
# 5 Louisville and Boston College (Louisville 52 BC 7) – Lamar Looking Heisman Good Award.
# 6 Ohio State and Nebraska (Ohio State 62 Nebraska 3) – The Huskers receive the Fun While It Lasted Award. Corn headwear really looks stupid when you lose to a nut named Bucky.
The Really Don’t Deserve an Award goes to the following:
# 7 Wisconsin and Northwestern (Wisconsin 21 Northwestern 7) – Badgers preparing for a bowl game where it is warm.
# 8 AUBURN? AUBURN! A hair color? You beat Vanderbilt by a touchdown 23 – 16! ROLL TIDE!
# 9 OU versus Iowa State (OU 34 Iowa State 24) – Bedlam is coming soon and The Cowboys are coming with it!
Coming in at # 10 is Texas A&M – where the Aggies should have been in the first place. (Texas A&M 28 Mississippi State 35) What a shipwreck in Starksville.
Aggies you receive a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Award because we sucked as bad as the referees. Even I saw the block in the back on Captain Kirk’s punt return. Aggies win Pooper Scooper Award for leaving lots of it on the field.
Nevertheless, “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…” and we do not lose – time on the clock runs out. We got your back, Jake!
Tomorrow we see who the College Football Selection Committee votes for and who the citizens of The United States of America votes for. Please do not forget to cast your ballot. PS – we do not get to vote with the Selection Committee.
Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend. My Monday after Saturday (and Thursday, Friday and Sunday) After College Football Awards – Week One.
The Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte Award goes to Louisville for the 70-14 win over Charlotte.
A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to the Volunteers and their fans from Tennessee for their OT victory against Appalachian State. There’s an App for that. App State 13 Tennessee 20 OT.
The Dabo Babo Award goes to Auburn for coming so close to cleaning Clemson. Clemson 19 Auburn 13.
The Baptism at the Brazos Award or the This Should Have Been a Sign Award goes to Baylor. Baylor was the first team to take down a team from Louisiana. Sorry Daryl. Bad weekend for teams from Louisiana. Baylor 55 Northwestern State 7.
That Grammar Don’t Sound Right Award goes to Stanford. “The Cardinal are on the scoreboard,” just does not sound correct, even though technically and grammatically it is since the football team is the color Cardinal. With so many brains, one would think they could come up with an actual mascot. Stanford Cardinal 26 K-State Wildkats 13.
The Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move Under my Feet” Award goes to Oklahoma State University. Dang, when those Cowboys say, “Hell, is coming and I’m coming with it” they really mean it. OSU 61 SE Louisiana 7.
The Herman’s Hermits Award Goes toThe University of Houston. The Oklahoma earthquake obvious wrecked and fracked The Sooner Schooner, but had no effect on Big 12 Wannabee – The University of Houston. OU 23 Houston 33.
The Pepto Abysmal Award goes to LSU 14 Wisconsin 16. Is the For Sale sign up in front of Miles’s house yet?
The Flying Tortillas Award goes to Texas Tech for turning the SFA Lumberjacks into flapjacks. TT 69 SFA 17. I told you to watch out for flying footballs.
The Phrog Jumped over The Hill Award goes to the TCU Frogs. Charlie P. You know this is not the good team from South Dakota, don’t you? TCU 59 South Dakota State 41.
The Victory Award goes to Kansas University! Rock Chalk Jayhawk! for their first win in 665 days over Rhode Island. KU 55 URI 6.
The Nut Cracker Award goes to USC player Jabari Ruffin. You should have been suspended as well as ejected for that cheap shot. Glad the Crimson Tide drowned and steam rolled your package. Roll Tide! Alabama 52 USC 6.
A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies for their OT win against a very talented team from California. UCLA 24Texas A&M 3. I did not know I could hold my breath for an entire overtime period.
The Twelfth Man Award goes to The Twelfth Man – all 100,000+ chanting 50,000! 50,000! Note to Navy: Do not even think about using The Twelfth Man even though you actually pulled a midshipman from the stands to QB the team.
The Big Learning Experience Award goes to UCLA QB Josh Rosen for his leadership and taking responsibility for his poor play against the Aggies. Yes, Myles Garret and the others were in his shirt, but he stayed cool under the loud pressure and displayed outstanding leadership for a 19 year old. Well-done. It is not easy playing in Kyle Field.
A Poo Poo Undies Award aka Holy Crap Award goes to THE University of Texas and its fans for a double OT thriller over Notre Dame. Not even the rainbow over DKR Stadium could stop BEVO from eating the creepy Leprechaun. Notre Dame 47 THE University of Texas 50 2 OT. I am happy for you Bevo, but put down Coach Strong and do not use electricity to light the Tower. It’s just Notre Dame.
The Shane Come Back Award is shared by THE University of Texas quarterbacks Shane Buechele and a swooping and stretching Tyrone Swoops. Maybe tu just needed another cowboy type name and new BEVO. Hook ‘Em Hippies!
The All Names Matter Awards goes to following:
In Third Place – from Notre Dame, # 91 Adetokunbo Ogundeji
In Second Place – from Notre Dame, # 6 – Equanimeous St. Brown
In First Place – winning from K-State, # 52 – Charmeachealle Moore.
What a weekend! That’s the scoop for the first weekend.
Is it too early for an Ole Miss Hotty Toddy? Oh mimosas!
Friday, September 2, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football Kickoff Weekend
The Friday before the first official weekend of college football is usually spent listing who got arrested, suspended and for what and thus will not be playing in this weekend football openers on Saturday. Let’s sum it up by saying to those of you not playing:
“quit being stupid,
stay off of social media,
don’t steal other peoples’ stuff,
stop hitting people and your pets when you get angry,
have a designated driver,
don’t smoke dope and
No (and passed out cold) means NO!”
But enough about Baylor, Auburn, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Alabama, OU, Stanford, Mississippi State, Ole Miss and USC players.
Tonight we have Baylor vs Northwestern – the Baptist Bears against the Northwestern Demons. @ 6:30. No TV. Not even baptismal streaming on ESPN3. These Demons just might add to the other demons haunting Baylor. Sorry Baylor nieces, nephews and gnieces and gnephews. Wishing for an upset. Go Cousin Daryl – DC for Northwestern.
Speaking of Natchitoches where Northwestern is located, we have the other brother, Nacogdoches, and his town my Alma Mater # 1 Stephen F. Austin playing Texas Tech in Lubbock @ 7:00 on Saturday. No TV. Not even ESPN3 streaming. Listen up, Jacks. Lubbock will look completely foreign and bare. You will recognize it instantly with no trees. Do not bring your axes. However, beware of flying tortillas as well as flying footballs. Ax ‘Em Jacks!
# 8 Stanford and Kansas State @ 8:00 on FS1. The Wildkats from Kansas State travel to meet west coast Cardinal brainiacs and free thinkers. Think culture clash.
It’s a bloody Mary morning when #3 OU visits #15 The University of Houston @ 11:00 AM on ABC. To select a favorite is like trying to decide between a root canal and a hot water enema. I will go with the best looking red uniforms.
#5 LSU vs Wisconsin @ 2:30 on ABC. Leaping Lambeaux Field! And breathing the air of Vince Lombardi. ESPN Game Day @ 9:00. See which animal head Lee Curses puts on his head predicting the winner. On Wisconsin and into the Eye (and mouth) of the Tiger. Geaux Tigers! And Run Leonard Run!
#16 ucla vs TAMU @ 2:30 on CBS. The Aggies scored SEC Game Day at 9:00. I am getting my maroon, Adidas ensemble ready to tail gate. Thank you Hokes for the invitation!
Note to ucla QB, Josh Rosen: You might want to check out the 50,000 Aggies that will show up to Yell Practice tonight so you can become accustomed to the noise. Then prepare for another 50,000 the next day. This ain’t Utah.
Alma Mater # 2 Sam Houston State v Oklahoma Panhandle State in beautiful Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas @ 6:00. No TV. Go Bearkats!
#1 Alabama vs # 20 USC @ 7:00 on ABC. Roll Tide and stop with the OJ jokes. But you are correct. None of the other Heismans have killed people. At least not yet.
On Sunday, # 10 Notre Dame vs and the Strong and up and coming Texas Longhorns. Bless me Father for I have sinned and will be pulling for the Longhorns. The leprechaun is creepy; Bevo is not.
Monday; # 11 Ole Miss and #4 Florida State @ 7:00 on ESPN in Orlando assuming the entire peninsula has not been washed away.
Go Team Fight!
Thursday, May 19, 2016 – The Memories Implode – Floyd Casey Stadium
On Saturday, May 14, 2016, Floyd Casey Stadium, home of Baylor Bears Football was imploded. https://vimeo.com/167029200
With the falling concrete and rising dust memories of good times and not so good times, filled the memory banks of players, coaches, spectators, graduates and even rivals.
On December 3, 2013 I drove to Waco to take photographs of Floyd Casey Stadium. The temperature was 87 degrees. I wore shorts and a T-shirt.
My photographs show the perfect light and the last day the sun would shine on Floyd Casey Stadium. No photograph is retouched.
On December 7, 2013 the last football game in the stadium was played between Baylor and The University of Texas. The temperature was 14 degrees. I was home by the fire.
Oh yes, the Baylor Bears were victorious in their last game in Floyd Casey Stadium. Who did they defeat? Why, the Texas Longhorns.
How many days until kick off? As a few minutes ago, it was 99 days, 48 minutes and 22 seconds.
Countdown clock: https://days.to/until/ncaa-season
Tuesday, May, 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – or Déjà vu all over again.
Given that I somehow picked up a cyber bucket load of friends over the weekend I thought I better tell everyone about Here’s What I’m Thinking again. I am already wondering how many have Unfollowed or Unfriended me already.
I write a weblog called Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT). The blog then connects to Facebook and other social media sites. The easiest way to read what I am thinking about is to Google Drdrd85.me. It should take you directly to the website.
The purpose is to make at least one person smile/laugh or think every day – Monday through Friday and sometimes on the weekend. Notice: it is not called Here’s What I Believe. Nor it is called Here’s What I think You Should Believe.
During the seasons (college football and college basketball) I write about sports. But it is not your ordinary sports column – mine include critiques of all fashion attire from the press box to the field. “Bent Mushberger? Who dressed you this morning? Please retire and go away.”
Monday is always My Monday after Football Weekend Awards. You can almost bet money that The Ugliest Uniform Award will go to the West Coast and probably from Oregon. Is there NIKE factory just for pukey yellow?
I write about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. This includes The Fighting Texas Aggies, the LSU Tigers, the rest of the SEC except for Florida and any school from that peninsula. I write about Uncle Will Muschamp at SC or whatever school happens to have hired him. I write about the Baylor Bears, THE University of Texas at Austin and what is left of the Big 12 Conference, the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks and Notre Dame or RL and refer to them as the NBC Network Conference.
Sidebar: Alabama. I have nothing to say about the school at the moment. But I know if I do not specifically mention Alabama, the Roll Tide Roll readers will comment.
Somedays I think about politics. Since none of us seem to know what to think about this year’s presidential election, I am a bipartisan snark. For example: Please sign the petition to get Hillary to stop wearing the green brocade jacket. It looks like you made it from the parlor curtains. Or perhaps to Mr. Trump – Sir, if elected will you have your private plane repainted as Air Force One or will you purchase a new one?”
I seem to have a diverse group of readers representing many views and experiences. Please know I respect you and your views. While I may disagree with you on some issues I will defend to the death and Remember the Alamo your right to say it.
Some days I write about the Texas public education system and the educational institution. You think the loss of cursive writing is an issue. See what else is happening to the youth of America.
As the first Native Born Texan in the family, I post many topics about Texas.
But as my dear Mama used to say “The only thing that separates a Coon Ass from a Jack Ass is the Sabine River.” Some days Louisiana gets the topic de jour. See French. Good, huh?
And of course I write about my family and friends. This is how I get readers. They live in fear of what I am going to say. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point in time. You should hope I refer to you with a loving nickname because I like you and only you know who you are. If I don’t like you, I might add all of your personal information including a MapQuest link to your house.
At least 98% of what I post is my original work including photographs. The remaining 2% comes from other postings only if I am impressed or too lazy to post my own work. If I use some one’s photo, I try to give credit to the photographer or from whose collection I borrowed it.
That is a summary of Here’s What I Thinking. Thank you for reading. I hope you find something along the way to make you smile or think about.
CC: Hillary Clinton’s email server
Wednesday, March 16,, 2016 – Me and My Brackets
Our post today is brought to by the word Skullduggery – Skuhl-DUHG-uh-ree
It is a noun meaning:
But enough about the presidential elections and the government.
Here is my completed bracket for the women’s NCAA Division I basketball tournament.
Yep – got the Baptists and the Catholics in Championship Game – Baylor and Notre Dame. As you can see I have Baylor and Texas A&M playing in the Sweet 16. When these two teams play it is known as a “bitter rivalry.” I am sure Coach Mulkey and Coach Blair will show clips from 2011 and the infamous clock issue. Should A&M pull an upset, I will not talk to my family for a week.
“Just Say No to Four” is my mantra for UConn. The University of Connecticut is a basketball dynasty in any league and Briana Stewart (Stewie) is one of the greatest collegiate athletes you will see – male or female. Nevertheless, Here’s What I’m Thinking – the odds are against you to repeat as National Champions for a fourth time. And you know Mulkey and Muffet have teams that can beat you. The scenery only changes for the lead Huskie and it is time for a change. So I am going with the Bears and the Creepy Leprechauns.
But first on March 19 The Fighting Texas Aggie Women must BTHO Missouri State.
I also completed a Division I Men’s Basketball Bracket. I used the Penny method for selecting the Championship Game – my favorite colors, mascots, funny sounding names, etc. My major criterion was schools from which I have graduated. Therefore I have Texas A&M playing Stephen F. Austin for the National Championship. Gig ‘Em Aggies and Ax ‘Em Jacks!
Monday, December 20, 2015 – The Second Quarter of the Forty College Football Bowl Games.
“A horse!” A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” from Shakespeare’s Richard III, Act 5, Scene 4, lines 7-10.
Texas version. “A quarterback! A quarterback. My team for a quarterback!” From Texas’ Coach V, Teams 5 (schools), Scene 5, (Bowls and Championships), players 10+
The five teams Baylor, Texas A&M, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, and the Celina Bobcats (3A high school state championship lost the quarterback to a broken wrist on the first series played. Celina lost the game too.)
And now the Second Quarter of The Ridiculous Number of College Football Bowl Games that no one really cares about.
Bowl Number 11 – The GoDaddy Bowl begins at 8:00 PM on ESPN between Georgia Southern and Bowling Green. Go Daddy. This name offers so many directions. Let’s just say Go Daddy and leave the rest to TV commercials and social workers.
December 24 – Christmas Eve
Bowl 12 is The Popeye’s’ Bahamas Bowl that kicks off at noon on ESPN between Middle Tennessee and Western Michigan. I am not certain if the name of this bowl refers to the chicken franchise or the cartoon sailor. Who cares about the teams? One is in the Bahamas.
Bowl 13 is the Hawaii Bowl at 8:00 PM between San Diego State and Cincinnati on ESPN. Same criteria for Hawaii as Bahamas – who cares who is playing? Get me a drink with an umbrella in it.
Bowl 14 finds us in St. Petersburg to watch Connecticut and Marshall on our monopolistic favorite ESPN at 11: 00 AM. I would love to be in St. Pete again but only with J and R again.
Bowl 15 finds The Hyundai Sun Bowl between Miami and Washington State at 2:00 PM on CBS. Look you can change the channel to CBS.
Bowl 16 – is The I am so Bored Bowl. No wait. It is the Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl between Washington and Southern Mississippi on ESPN. The Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas? Are you kidding me? Back to The I am so Bored Bowl. Anyway it is at 2:00.
Bowl 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl between Indiana and Duke. I thought these schools played basketball. Coming to you live from the Bronx and Yankee Stadium on ABC at 3:30. Wait – there is a football bowl game, named after a clothing pattern, played between two traditional basketball schools in a baseball stadium. I am so confused.
Bowl 18 – Give me a break. Really. There is a bowl game called The Camping World Independence Bowl? Guess there is. It is on ESPN at 5:45 between Tulsa and Virginia Tech. Does one have to camp out in the parking lot?
Bowl 19 is the Foster Farms Bowl. Is there a bowl game for Adopted Farms? This 9:15 kickoff on ESPN is between UCLA and Nebraska. Note: Nebraska has a losing record. Not to mention Nebraska fans wear giant yellow, phallic symbols of corn on their heads.
Bowl 20 is the Northrop Grumman Military Bowl at 2:30 on ESPN between Pittsburg and Navy. This one might be worth watching. Go Navy.
Bowl 21 is the Quick Lane Bowl – as opposed to the Slow Lane Bowl? This game is between Central Michigan and Minnesota at five o’clock on ESPN2.
Bowl 22 is Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl played between California and Air Force on ESPN at 2:00. Doesn’t Lockheed Martin make air craft?
Bowl 23 – In The Russell Athletic Bowl coming to us live from Florida at 5:30 on ESPN our teams are North Carolina and Baylor. Does Baylor get to wear one of its 10 variations of NIKE uniforms or is that a conflict of interest?
Bowl 24 is The NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl between Nevada and Colorado State at 7:30 on Campus Insiders. Campus Insiders? That is what the schedule says. I think the ESPN people have been puffing in Colorado.
Bowl 25 is the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl at 9:00 between LSU and Texas Tech on ESPN. Goodie this is between a team I love and a team I do not love.
December 30 – OMG – there are five more of these contests before we ever get to the next group.
Bowl 26 is The Birmingham Bowl at noon on ESPN between Auburn and Memphis. I wonder if Uncle Will Muschamp’s head will explode during this game prior to him becoming a Game Cock – which just adds more adjectives to describe Coach Articulate.
Bowl 27 is the Belk Bowl at 3:30 on ESPN (who else?) between North Carolina State and Mississippi State. What is the Belk Bowl?
Bowl 28 – The Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. OK I must watch because this game is the Fighting Texas Aggies and Louisville. Mercy – talk about The 12th Man in action. We just might get to see somebody called out of the stands to suit up for this one. This bowl could be named so many things. How about “The We Mortgaged Kyle Field Renovations through Franklin American Bowl?” How about “The Ernest Hemmingway – A Farewell to Arms Bowl?” Oh hell, let’s just call it the Mucinex Bowl and expectorate and cough and Gig ‘Em Aggies. BTHO Louisville.
Bowl 29 – The Holiday Bowl between USC and Wisconsin in San Diego offers a vacation to the Badgers at 10:30 on ESPN and sleep for me.
And that takes us to December 31 – New Year’s Eve when finally there will be some teams and games worth watching.
Our winners of this round are:
ABC – 2
CBS – 1
ESPN2 – 1
ESPN – 15
Corporate/Military Sponsors – 19
Nike – TBD
Adidas – TBD
Under Armor – Maybe one team
Russell Athletic – Maybe
Campus Insiders – Who? What?