Category Archives: Education

Monday, December 11, 2017 – Tom Lehrer and The Roy Moore Victory Song – Vote Doug Jones!

Monday, December 11, 2017 – Tom Lehrer and The Roy Moore Victory Song – Vote Doug Jones!

Good Morning, Music History Class,

Today we will examine victory songs that for whatever reason did not become popular. Take for example, The Confederate Victory Song.

Cindy Lee don’t wring your hankie; I just shot me a Yankee

Tell the slaves to keep on working in the fields.

While still popular in certain parts of The South today, those four days in Gettysburg in 1863 put a damper on that tune.

But we have this never made it tune from April 1912 first recorded by Ice Berg.

Bon Voyage to you new Titanic; you’re the greatest ship on the sea; Bon Voyage to you new Titanic, say ‘Hello’ to the Statue of Liberty; We know with what your costing you’re unsinkable; to wish you a safe crossing is unthinkable

Another from the lost vaults of no victory songs include from 1937:

There’ll be a hot, hot time in Lakehurst, New Jersey when the Hindenburg lands today.

It has the great line:

All the way from Germany, you’ve flown her to us and we know that the motto was New Jersey or bust!

Ah yes, we have such great songs as “We’ll all be there to meet her When Amelia Earhart Circles the Globe” and the ever popular Custer’s Victory Song from Little Big Horn.

When the great satirist, Tom Lehrer recorded the following song first in 1953 in Boston and then with Songs Revisited in 1960 and again in 1966, I suspect he never foresaw or hoped to see individuals who still actually believe the world was better then. The 1960’s were violent enough let alone the 1860’s!

Dear Mr. Lehrer,

If you have a problem with I Want to Go Back to Dixie as the Roy Moore Victory Song, let me know.

Satirically, yours,

DrD

Dear Voters of Alabama,

Do the right thing and vote for Doug Jones.

Unless, you wanna go back to Dixie, as when “things were better” as suggested by Roy Moore.

From Twitter: Jesus said “Go forth and sin no more.” Not “Go forth and sin Roy Moore.”

Seriously concerned US Citizen with current voter registration card in Texas,

DrD

https://youtu.be/HAwhC_btAUU

The text and a sing along.

Well, what I like to do on formal occasions like this is to take some of the various types of songs that we all know and presumably love, and, as it were, to kick them when they’re down. I find if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene, or — as they say in New York — sophisticated. I’d like to illustrate with several hundred examples for you this evening, first of all, the Southern type song about the wonders of the American South. But it’s always seemed to me that most of these song really don’t go far enough. The following song, on the other hand, goes too far. It’s called I wanna go back to Dixie.

I wanna go back to Dixie,
Take me back to dear ol’ Dixie,
That’s the only li’l ol’ place for li’l ol’ me.
Ol’ times there are not forgotten,
Whuppin’ slaves and sellin’ cotton,
And waitin’ for the Robert E. Lee.
(it was never there on time.)
I’ll go back to the Swanee,
Where pellagra makes you scrawny,
And the honeysuckle clutters up the vine
I really am a-fixin’
To go home and start a-mixin’
Down below that Mason-Dixon line.

Oh, poll tax, how I love ya, how I love ya,
My dear old poll tax.

Won’tcha come with me to alabammy,
Back to the arms of my dear ol’ mammy,
Her cookin’s lousy and her hands are clammy,
But what the hell, it’s home.
Yes, for paradise the southland is my nominee.
Jes’ give me a ham hock and a grit of hominy.

I wanna go back to Dixie
I wanna be a dixie pixie
And eat cornpone ’til it’s comin’ outta my ears
I wanna talk with southern gentlemen
And put my white sheet on again,
I ain’t seen one good lynchin’ in years.
The land of the boll weevil,
Where the laws are medieval,
Is callin’ me to come and nevermore roam.
I wanna go back to the southland,
That “y’all” and “shet-ma-mouth” land,
Be it ever so decadent,
There’s no place like home.

 

Monday, December 11, 2017 – Tom Lehrer and The Roy Moore Victory Song – Vote Doug Jones!

Monday, December 11, 2017 – Tom Lehrer and The Roy Moore Victory Song – Vote Doug Jones!

Good Morning, Music History Class,

Today we will examine victory songs that for whatever reason did not become popular. Take for example, The Confederate Victory Song.

Cindy Lee don’t wring your hankie; I just shot me a Yankee

Tell the slaves to keep on working in the fields.

While still popular in certain parts of The South today, those four days in Gettysburg in 1863 put a damper on that tune.

But we have this never made it tune from April 1912 first recorded by Ice Berg.

Bon Voyage to you new Titanic; you’re the greatest ship on the sea; Bon Voyage to you new Titanic, say ‘Hello’ to the Statue of Liberty; We know with what your costing you’re unsinkable; to wish you a safe crossing is unthinkable

Another from the lost vaults of no victory songs include from 1937:

There’ll be a hot, hot time in Lakehurst, New Jersey when the Hindenburg lands today.

It has the great line:

All the way from Germany, you’ve flown her to us and we know that the motto was New Jersey or bust!

Ah yes, we have such great songs as “We’ll all be there to meet her When Amelia Earhart Circles the Globe” and the ever popular Custer’s Victory Song from Little Big Horn.

When the great satirist, Tom Lehrer recorded the following song first in 1953 in Boston and then with Songs Revisited in 1960 and again in 1966, I suspect he never foresaw or hoped to see individuals who still actually believe the world was better then. The 1960’s were violent enough let alone the 1860’s!

Dear Mr. Lehrer,

If you have a problem with I Want to Go Back to Dixie as the Roy Moore Victory Song, let me know.

Satirically, yours,

DrD

Dear Voters of Alabama,

Do the right thing and vote for Doug Jones.

Unless, you wanna go back to Dixie, as when “things were better” as suggested by Roy Moore.

From Twitter: Jesus said “Go forth and sin no more.” Not “Go forth and sin Roy Moore.”

Seriously concerned US Citizen with current voter registration card in Texas,

DrD

https://youtu.be/HAwhC_btAUU

The text and a sing along.

Well, what I like to do on formal occasions like this is to take some of the various types of songs that we all know and presumably love, and, as it were, to kick them when they’re down. I find if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene, or — as they say in New York — sophisticated. I’d like to illustrate with several hundred examples for you this evening, first of all, the Southern type song about the wonders of the American South. But it’s always seemed to me that most of these song really don’t go far enough. The following song, on the other hand, goes too far. It’s called I wanna go back to Dixie.

I wanna go back to Dixie,
Take me back to dear ol’ Dixie,
That’s the only li’l ol’ place for li’l ol’ me.
Ol’ times there are not forgotten,
Whuppin’ slaves and sellin’ cotton,
And waitin’ for the Robert E. Lee.
(it was never there on time.)
I’ll go back to the Swanee,
Where pellagra makes you scrawny,
And the honeysuckle clutters up the vine
I really am a-fixin’
To go home and start a-mixin’
Down below that Mason-Dixon line.

Oh, poll tax, how I love ya, how I love ya,
My dear old poll tax.

Won’tcha come with me to alabammy,
Back to the arms of my dear ol’ mammy,
Her cookin’s lousy and her hands are clammy,
But what the hell, it’s home.
Yes, for paradise the southland is my nominee.
Jes’ give me a ham hock and a grit of hominy.

I wanna go back to Dixie
I wanna be a dixie pixie
And eat cornpone ’til it’s comin’ outta my ears
I wanna talk with southern gentlemen
And put my white sheet on again,
I ain’t seen one good lynchin’ in years.
The land of the boll weevil,
Where the laws are medieval,
Is callin’ me to come and nevermore roam.
I wanna go back to the southland,
That “y’all” and “shet-ma-mouth” land,
Be it ever so decadent,
There’s no place like home.

 

Friday, December 08, 2017 – Have You Looked in Your Front Yard? Snow?

Friday, December 08, 2017 – Have You Looked in Your Front Yard? Snow?

At 8: 30 PM last evening I get a text from my neighbor. It read: “have you looked in your front yard?”

I bolted to the front door and outside to find my front yard in a winter wonderland. Bryan, Texas, USA!

My neighborhood had one of the largest amounts of snow with five inches.

At 8:30 AM this morning it was still beautiful and still below freezing.

Local weather reported my hood received about five (5) inches of the white stuff! There was a two percentage chance of snow.

HWIT – It snowed in Bryan/College Station.

It snowed on Campus!

Photo by Bobby Brooks ’18 from Twitter. Thank you.

It snowed on Kyle Field!

Photo by 12Th Man

All this and Jimbo too! Tell me the climate is not changing in Aggieland!!!

Stay Warm and Gig’ Em!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017 – Elementary School Day at the Aggie Women’s Basketball Game

Wednesday, December 6, 2017 – Elementary School Day at the Aggie Women’s Basketball Game.

It was screaming school kids’ day at the Aggie Women’s basketball game today. Three thousand five hundred elementary school children in Reed Arena.

Let me put that in alphanumeric form: 3500 fourth and fifth graders; Just numbers – 3500 x 4 x 5 =? A now a word problem, if 3,500 4th and 5th graders sat screaming in an enclosed area, what decibel level would be reached? Show your work.

It was awesome. Those Yell Leaders and announcers had the boys and girls doing yells and Sawing Varsity’s Horns Off before you could drink a glass of maroon Kool-Aid and swear to one day become a Former Student. Translation: There is no such thing as an ex Aggie. You are always an Aggie! You may no longer be on campus.

Of course it helped that most of their teachers are Former Students and had prepared their students in the treasured customs, traditions, and rituals of Aggieland. Note to the school children: Great Sway during War Hymn.

When we stood for The Star Spangled Banner, I snapped this photo – WWII Veteran.

The National Anthem was sung acapella by the Bryan ISD Fourth Grade Choir. It was very special. You may play among the windmills of your mind and make any connections you so desire.

And now a final word problem. If the boy in the green sweater is sitting next to the boy in the blue sweater and between the identical twin girls in the red sweaters, but not next to the red hair person in the purple sweater, then did the Aggies win?

Yes. The Aggies beat TCU. Where are my Advil?

Tuesday, December 05, 2017 – Jimbo Mania and Other News from BCS, Texas

Tuesday, December 05, 2017 – Jimbo Mania and Other News from Bryan College Station (BCS), Texas

Jimbo Mania continues to sweep Aggieland and the Brazos Valley. I do like his timeline for producing a national title. “Yesterday,” was Fisher’s answer when asked what was a reasonable time to turn a good program into an elite one.

In addition to officially hiring Jimbo Fisher as head football coach, other news from the Texas A&M Board of Regents meeting included hiring Ruth J. Simmons as president of Prairie View A&M University, Kelly M. Quintanilla as interim President of Texas A&M Corpus Christi and Carol A. Fierke as new provost and executive vice president – aka Chief Academic Officer – at Texas A&M University.

There is one Black woman, one Hispanic woman and one White woman and a man. One is making $75 million over the next 10 years.

In other news from the Brazos Valley, a 21 year old College Station woman was arrested driving drunk near the 11th Hole at Briarcrest Golf Course just before 10:30 p.m. on Saturday. MY golf course!

The woman told police she was “new to driving” and accidently turned onto the golf course, where she eventually went into a dry creek bed.

First of all, College Station is six miles away from Briarcrest Drive. Second, you do not accidently go to the Briarcrest Country Club. The Phillips Event Center, where the golf course and CC are located, sits off of Briarcrest Drive about half a mile down a road with nothing else back there.

Girl, in order for you to drive into the dry creek bed and to Hole 11, you had to drive across the driving range. Did you wonder why there were 50 yard, 100 yard and 150 yard markers? I guess you thought those flags on the sticks at various locations and the red barrels were construction.

The 11th Hole at Briarcrest is the only elevated hole on the course. Before you were in the dry creek bed behind the green did you not wonder why the ground suddenly elevated about 45 degrees?

It sounds as though you were new to drinking as well as new to driving. First, one does not drive drunk. It is against the law, dangerous and stupid. Two, one does not toss the empty beer bottles/cans in the back seat of the car.

Hawk at Briarcrest CC. Photo by me.

The young woman spent the remainder of the evening in the Brazos County Jail. I certainly hope there are no golfers on the jury when she comes to trial.

 

 

 

 

Monday, December 04, 2017 – The Game of Bowls and The Coaching Game of Thrones

Monday, December 04, 2017 – The Game of Bowls and The Coaching Game of Thrones

I see this morning that the ESPN site has a guide to the upcoming college bowl games. Here’s what I’m thinking – Here is my guide to the upcoming college football bowl games.

From ESPN “For the first time since 2014 there were more bowl-eligible football teams than spots to compete this year.”

Me: That is because the bowl standards are too low; there are too many unqualified teams, there are too many bowl games, but it makes money for all involved.

You may divide your bowl games as you wish. I have divided my bowl games into the following categories:

  • The No Count Bowls,
  • The Never Heard of Before Bowls,
  • The No One Cares unless you or your child and money go there Bowls,
  • The Advertising and T-shirt Sales Bowls,
  • The SEC Bowl,
  • The Last Aggie Bowl Game before the Jimbo Era and of course
  • The Big Playoff Bowls.

This listing is incomplete, but I will update as we approach the days.

Noon on ABC on Dec. 16 – The Celebration Bowl – North Carolina A&T vs Grambling. I hope they show halftime and the Grambling Band. That is always something to celebrate.

1:00 on ESPN – The R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl with Troy and North Texas. What is this? R+L = X? The Algebra Bowl? Still it is in NOLA, so who cares?

The AutoNation Cure Bowl – Western Kentucky vs Georgia State at 2:30 CBSSN. From Orlando. Oh my, the Cure of the Nation is left up to these two teams and these states?

The Las Vegas Bowl – No. 25 Boise State vs. Oregon 3:30 on ABC. Thank goodness it is not on that seizure causing Boise State blue football field. I would bet $50 those Oregon yellow highlighters against the field would make me throw up.

The GILDAN New Mexico Bowl –Marshall versus Colorado State 4:30 ESPN. Never heard GILDON?

Raycom Media Camellia Bowl – Middle Tennessee vs Arkansas State ESPN. Might be fun.

The Goodyear Cotton Bowl has No. 8 USC vs No. 5 THE Ohio State. I call this one The Consolation Bowl Game or The Get Over It Ohio State and play better schedules Bowl.

The Play Station Fiesta Bowl has No. 11 Washington vs No. 9 Penn State on Dec 30 at 4:00 on ESPN. Why don’t you just do this one on a Play Station and we can all play? We can call it The Play Station Fan Interactive Bowl.

The Chick-fil-A-Peach Bowl with No. 12 UCF vs No. 7 Auburn. My cat, Peach, insists on watching this one, but she knows better than to purr for Auburn.

The Capitol One Orange Bowl – No.10 Miami vs No. 6 Wisconsin. What’s in Your Wallet? On Wisconsin!

TaxSlayer Bowl: Louisville 23 vs Mississippi State on Dec 30 on ESPN at noon. These two teams and states are now in charge of the new tax bill?

The AutoZone Liberty Bowl has Iowa State vs 20 Memphis Dec 30 at 12:30 on ABC. Yuk.

The Outback Bowl has Michigan vs South Carolina. I would rather go eat at Outback than watch.

The Citrus Bowl finds No. 17 LSU vs No. 14 Notre Dame on New Year’s Day on ABC. One of my most favs and one of my least favs. Bless me Father for I have sinned, but LSU is going to win.

The Camping World Bowl has No. 22 Virginia Tech vs No. 19 Oklahoma State. Does one have to camp out? If the Mountaineers win, will they burn the couches at their campsites?

The Valero Alamo Bowl in beautiful San Antonio has Stanford vs TCU at 9:00 ESPN. A fun city to have a bowl game regardless of who plays. This should be called The Tree Frog Bowl. Think about it!

The San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl has No. 18 Washington State vs Michigan State. Go Leach!

The Walk-On’s Independence Bowl on Dec 27 has Florida State vs Southern Mississippi. The WALK ON BOWL? Can I play?

The Arizona Bowl New Mexico State Utah State on Dec 29. Oh boy! The Utes!

The Texas Bowl – THE University of Texas and Missouri. Really? You know the Aggies (and most any other team) would have brought a bigger crowd to Houston!

Again from ESPN: On Dec 29 “the former FSU Coach, Jimbo Fisher, will lead his new team, Texas A&M against Wake Forest in the Belk bowl.”

  1. What the Hell is the Belk Bowl?
  2. WAKE FOREST?
  3. Jimbo’s coaching???
  4. He does look good in a maroon blazer!
  5. Why did he come to the SEC? Watch out, Saban. The Aggies are coming and We Are Fearless!

Will those be the years of Championships????

I know I have left out some teams and bowl games, but the ESPN app crashed so I’m done for today except for the big Bowls.

5:00 on ESPN – The Rose Bowl – No. 3 Georgia and No.2 Oklahoma. I love a parade. Going to The Rose Bowl Parade is on my bucket list. As much as it pains me: Boomer Sooners!

8:45 on ESPN – The Sugar Bowl – No.4 Alabama v # 1 Clemson. These two and their fans in Nawlins!!! How fun is this? ROLL TIDE.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017 – Wossamotta U?

Tuesday, November 28, 2017 – Wossamotta U?

Good Morning, Class. Today we have a guest speaker who is going to talk to us about Internet Neutrality. So let’s all behave and listen.

He is from Frostbite Falls, Minnesota and attended college on a football scholarship. He received an Honorary Mooster’s Degree from his alma mater, Wossamotta U. He is able to remember everything he has eaten. Please welcome, Bullwinkle J. Moose.

(applause, applause, applause)

Ah. Hello boys and girls! This big organization called the Federal Communications Commission in Washington D. C. wants take over control of the now free internet.

The Information Super Highway is about to become the INFORMATION TOLL ROAD! And you get stuck with the toll. If you let this happen I will say “What is the matter with you?” very much like Wossamotta U?

Sorry, gotta go now. Rocky just called and I am needed to flex my moose muscles. It’s that pesky Boris and Natasha again.

Thank you, Mr.Bullwinkle. Be safe.

Now, boys and girls, let’s get out tablets and write our congress people.

What I think of FCC’s idea.

Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

Monday, November 27, 2017 – Who’s In the National Playoff Foursome?

Since I only write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like, there are very few awards this Monday. This is due to the fact that almost all my teams lost in a most distressing and upsetting fashion.

Granted LSU is one of my teams, except when they play the Aggies. So Geaux Tigers.

In addition to Who’s In, the better question is Who’s Out? The Coaching Carousel Merry Go Round Award goes to Arkansas, Texas A&M, Arizona State, Mississippi State and others to follow. Florida, Ole Miss and UCLA hired new guys. Then Tennessee hired somebody, but then took it back. Is Jimbo Fisher really interested in Texas A&M? Maybe the entire coaching staffs from Austin Westlake or Lake Travis High School would be worth a look.

The Crappola Bowl Awards go to all of my teams who will be playing in bowl games with strange sponsors for a dinky trophy. This will give T-shirt manufactures job security.

The Iron Bowl Deficiency Award goes to the fans of Alabama.

The William T. Sherman Award goes to Auburn in hopes that the War Eagles will march through Georgia like Sherman to the Sea! But, I really do not care about either team. YUK.

The Best Hope for Texas Football Award goes to TCU. Please let TCU win the Big 12 Championship. Otherwise, the best college football teams in Texas are The University of North Texas and Sam Houston State University.

Thank goodness it is basketball season. How soon until March?

Tuesday, November 21, 2017 – T’was Two Days Before Thanksgiving

Tuesday, November 21, 2017 – T’was Two Days Before Thanksgiving

T’was two days before Thanksgiving and all through the house not a creature was stirring except the turkeys and they were pretty damn scared.

Did you know male turkeys gobble and female turkeys click? Female turkeys make a clicking noise. “Turkeys are very social animals who spend their nights grouped in flocks and perched on tree branches to stay away from predators. In the morning, they let out a wake-up call – a series of soft yelps – to make certain their fellow turkeys in the roosting group made it safely through the nights. With all accounted for, they descend to begin their day.” Source: Extension Illinois.Edu

Here’s what I thinking. First, of all that description sounds like some of the Austin Aurora Deck parties, but no time for flashbacks today. Back to the turkeys.

What does is mean “with all accounted for?” Do they count? Branches check? Like a bed check? Perhaps they call roll. Tom? Tom, Jr? Butterball?

What do turkeys do when “they descend to begin their day?” Do they have jobs? Go to school?

What happens if their fellow turkeys do not make it safely through the night and are kinda lying lifeless below the roost? Do they sing “Poor Judd is dead” from Oklahoma? Maybe a chorus of Turkey in the Straw?

I hope these and other fascinating questions provide conversation starters for your Thanksgiving meal. Ya’ll be thankful, you Turkeys!

Family story; When the railroad was being built through Colfax, La, Uncle Clarence told the “minority group” working that turkey buzzards were good to eat.” The railroad lost almost 3 days of laying track due to sickness.

Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

Monday, November 20, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards Show

I must admit I did not watch a great deal of college football this weekend. But I did click around on some TV channels and tablet screens and of course have some comments. So Here’s what I’m Thinking.

Let’s start with the West Coast.

The Blue Field of Nightmares Award goes to Boise State. The uniforms were the same color as the blue football field. This is just wrong and should be banned by the NCAA because of possible seizure causings.

The Really Smart and Strange People Award goes to Cal and Stanford with the Cardinal (remember it’s a color, not a bird) winning 14 to 17. Is the Stanford Band still on probation?

The Last Minute Kick Award goes to the Washington Huskies defeating Utah 30 -33 as time expires. I like Utah because I like to use the quote from My Cousin Vinny regarding “the two yutes” or this case “the Utes.”

Moving to the Heartland we find…

The Pistol Pete Pooped Out Award goes to Oklahoma State for losing to Kansas State 40-45.

Our Anatomical Suggestive Bad Sportsmanship Award goes to quarterback Baker Mayfield of Oklahoma for suggesting that Kansas players perform an action unsuited for observation by the public.

Mayfield also receives the Do You Talk to Your Mother Like That? Award. I counted at least eight beeps. It probably will not hurt your Heisman chances, Baker, but you do not see Johnny Manziel or Jameis Winston in the Heisman Commercials. Stupid Heisman winners do not make the videos.

Moving South we find…

The Cakewalk Awards going to The Tide for demolishing Mercer 56-0 and to Auburn for similar scoring against UL Monroe 42-13 UL Monroe. At least we know where UL Monroe is located. Where the Hell is Mercer? Get ready for The Iron Bowl next Saturday. ROLL TIDE!

In anticipation of Thanksgiving game the LSU Tigers warmed up by beating Tennessee. That was some ugly colors on the TV. Faded is just a not a good color on anybody.

Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State handled Arkansas quite well, but then again, who doesn’t?

The only game I actually watched was The Fighting Aggies and their Defense defeat Ole Miss. A Big Solid Award goes to the Aggie defense. A True Big Solid Award goes to the Aggies Derrick Tucker for intercepting a pass and returning it for a touchdown. WHOOP!

And now a song for Thanksgiving…

Over the river and the through the swamp to Baton Rouge we go; The Ags know the way; we just have to play; to get a win today! Hey!

Over the river and through bayous to Death Valley Stadium we go; We’ve been there before, but this time is different; This time we win on the road, Hey!

Over the river and down Highway 10; the Aggie bus rolls true; For tis Thanksgiving Day and we just had to say Beat the Hell Out of LSU!