Category Archives: Education

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!

Photo by me 1986. Old Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Demolished in 2010.

Tonight: Astros/Yankees 7:08 FS1 – Not this Year Yanks! BTHO Yankees!

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

Friday, October 13, 2017 – Friday 13th – A Snarky Friday – Here’s to Lots of Orange

This morning I am feeling like Prissy in Gone With the Wind because “

MISS SCARLETT, THE YANKEES ARE COMING!

Brooklyn Bridge – photo by me 1986

That’s right; the boys in pinstripes are coming from New York City to Houston, Texas Minute Maid Park to play the Houston Astros in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series. Winner of the series goes to the World Series. I will have my Dallas beard on, Honeyboy’s Astro cap, a hot dog and cold adult beverage ready for the first pitch at 7:08 on FS1. GO ASTROS!

It is going to be an Orange weekend for almost everybody.

Between innings one can catch more orange on TV and watch Clemson v Syracuse on ESPN. The All Things Orange begins at 6:00. Syracuse’s mascot is one of the anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots named Otto. The original mascot of Syracuse was a Native American character named The Saltine Warrior. The Saltine Warrior remained the mascot until 1978 when the Native American students successfully said no Native Americas named after crackers. After 17 years with no mascot Syracuse selected an orange fluff ball and called it Otto.

Clemson’s mascot is also one of those anthropomorphic dressed up person mascots. It is a tiger named The Tiger. Clemson’s athletic teams have been nicknamed the Tigers since 1896, when coach (and later university president) Walter Merritt Riggs brought the name from his alma mater, Auburn University.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otto_the_Orange#Saltine_Warrior

If you are a night owl, following the Big Orange you can watch Washington State vs Cal on ESPN at 9:30. It is always interesting to see what Mike Leach of Washington State will do.

Starting the Saturday at 11:00 we can watch The Tortilla Throwing Texas Tech Red Raiders take their breakfast tacos to Morgantown to meet the West Virginia Mountaineers on ESPNU. Throwing tortillas is nothing compared to West Virginia students burning couches in the streets when WVa. wins.

In the Game of Purple the rising Frogs of TCU play Kansas State on FS1.

Finally it will be 2:30 and time for some real football.

CBS will have Auburn v LSU. I see a bad moon rising for one of these Tigers, and it is not the one in purple and gold.

In Stillwater, Oklahoma State celebrates homecoming by keeping Baylor’s record perfect with zero wins. Watch it on FS1.

But The Eyes of Texas will be upon The Red River Rivalry with OU v TU on ESPN. HWIT – the Horns will need to bring everything they got to hang with the Sooners. The Baker Boys are mad from last week and are planning a steak dinner that night.

At 6:15 on ESPN the Razorbacks of Arkansas visit The Crimson Tide of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. Now Coach Bielema, you going to have to dress up a little more than in previous games. That tacky sweat shirt is not going to cut it, even in Alabama. Text Alabama Coach Saban and ask for some fashion tips. He is real good at giving that girl in the commercial fashion advice. ROLL TIDE.

At 6:15 on ESPN2 the Texas Aggies visit The Swamp in Gainesville to meet Florida. This could be very interesting for the Aggies.

Looking like The Creature from the Swamp, Florida will be wearing this faux alligator nature looking ensemble designed by someone on an acid trip. I am going out on a limb and giving Monday’s Ugly Uniform to Florida.

Gig ‘Em Aggies! BTHO Florida!

Thursday, October 12, 2017 – Get Along Little Doggies Along the Texas Cattle Drives

Thursday, October 12, 2017 – Get Along Little Doggies Along the Texas Cattle Drives

Listen up, Ya’ll, I’m fixin to tell ya’ll sump um.

Eat your heart out you Native Texans. Look what I won.

I like to say I won it in a Texas trivia contest, which I kinda did. But the fact that you could look up the answers somewhat negates the intellectual side of the contest. But I did win the weekly drawing and won this incredible framed print of the 1876 Texas Cattle Trails.

The Texas State Historical Association (TSHA) recently held an online Texas trivia contest. For three weeks participants answered daily questions about Texas. At the end of each week, a drawing was held and winners received some very nice prizes, including weekend get-away vacations several of the maps of Texas prints and more.

If you have been to the state capitol or visited a state office building you will find these prints hanging in various places. If you go the gift shop in the state capitol and price these framed prints, you will know how proud I am to own one. Yes, that is a hand tooled leather mat.

If you are a Native Texan or even one of those “You got Here as quickly as you could” kind of Texans, I encourage you to become a member of the TSHA. There is a whole lot more to remember and learn about Texas than just the Alamo. https://www.tshaonline.org/home/

Who knows? Maybe next you will win a cool prize about Texas.

What’s for lunch? I am feeling like a barbecued brisket. For you non Texans, we like to spell barbecue with a C, like in Cow. I reckon that’s all for now. Ya’ll be careful and ya’ll come back now ya hear?

Monday, October 09, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 09, 2017 – Monday After College Football Awards

Happy Indigenous People Day! You want to take down some statues? How about the New World explorers? Moving on.

What a weekend of college football whoppers! The first Poopy Undies goes to The Crimson Tide from Alabama. This may be the only pair of Poopy Undies you get until the SEC championship, but for now this one is yours from Aggieland. As always, the Aggies never lose; time just runs out. And time ran out as the Tide was going out after its stiffest test yet. Alabama 27 Aggies 19.

Joining Alabama and receiving a Poopy Undies Award are THE University of Texas and The University of Oklahoma. Bevo’s Boys held on for a second OT with win over Kansas State 40 – 34.

Obviously the Cyclone warnings did not go off in Norman as Iowa State stunned the Sooners with a 38-31 victory. Bevo won’t be big enough, old enough or strong enough next weekend to hold off a very mad OU team.

The Great Game of Mediocrity Award goes to Florida 16 and LSU 17. Keep it up, Gators. The Aggies are coming and we now used to high Tides and swampy waters in Texas.

The Award for the Best Game that Nobody Saw goes to Western Michigan University and Buffalo, with seven overtimes, 139 points and a Buffalo loss 71-68.

But the He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother Award goes to Western Michigan’s Donnie Ernsberger’s sister for running on the field thinking the game was over at the end of the second OT.

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/seven-ots-139-points-wmu-edges-buffalo-in-highest-scoring-longest-fbs-game/

The Best End Zone Award goes to the great Gene Stallings and his 1967 SWC Champions and Cotton Bowl Victors over Bear Bryant’s Alabama. In spite of suffering a heart attack last weekend, he was there with his team. Them Junction Boys are tough. Thank you, Coach Stallings, for all you’ve to done to make the Aggies, the Bear and Alabama very proud.

Photo by Terry

The Best Photos of the Flyover Taken in the Front Yard goes to me. One has about five seconds before they are out of sight.

Friday, October 6, 2017 – Stage Left: The Snark Appears

Friday, October 6, 2017 – Stage Left: The Snark Appears

Before we get to our college football Snarky Friday, let us offer congratulations to the Houston Astros for their 8-2 victory yesterday over the Boston Red Sox in Game one of the American League Division Playoffs. I would have so enjoyed seeing second baseman, Jose Altuve, become the 9th player with a 3 HR game in postseason history. But the game was not televised on TV on a reasonable channel – even for someone with has many sports channels as I have.

Therefore today, when I turn on my TV at 1:00, I better see some players in Astro uniforms getting ready to play some players in Boston Red Sox uniforms. Do not make me go 8th Grade School Teacher on you. GO ASTROS!

What is on the screens tomorrow for college football? Starting the morning at 11:00 AM we have potential Blow Outs featuring:

  • Ole Miss and Auburn on SECN
  • Georgia and Vanderbilt on ESPN
  • Iowa State and Oklahoma on FOX
  • Texas Tech and Kansas on FS1
  • Wake Forest and Clemson on ESPN2.

I do not like any of those schools at this time.

At 2:30 it is time to catch the shuttle to campus to tailgate. I should arrive mid to end of first quarter for these interesting games.

  • West Virginia and TCU on FS 1 – ESPN Game Day comes to you from Fort Worth, Texas. Lee Curser will look good in the Big Horned Frog head.
  • LSU and Florida on CBS – Remember Troy! For Tigers’ sake, it was homecoming last weekend! Swamp. Swamp. Chomp. Chomp.

Scheduling right along;

  • 4:10 Spirit Walk @ War Hymn Statue
  • 4:20 Kyle Field Gates Open
  • 5:00 Corps Step off @ Quad
  • 5:30 – Take shuttle back home to watch:

From the Big 12 Conference which is really only 10 teams, at 6:00 on FS1 from Royal Texas Memorial Stadium. Royal Texas Memorial Stadium??? Huh? That ain’t right! That is how the ESPN app shows it, Horns.

Allow me to continue correctly. Coming to you on FS1 from Daryl K. Royal Memorial Stadium, THE University of Texas hosts the Kansas State Wildcats. To save us all time and data charges tomorrow for texting the following question: “How old is Bill Snyder?” Tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 77 years old.

May I offer this small suggestion to the Longhorn team? Do not see past the purple haze tomorrow in anticipation of seeing red next weekend.

And now a football trifecta. All three of my alma maters play tomorrow. I got papers from all three hanging on the wall.

In the Battle of the Big Thicket, also at 6:00 the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks play the Sam Houston State Bearkats. Ax ‘Em, Jacks! This will be on the small tablet screen streaming ESPN3.

Scheduling along:

  • 5:56 Spirit of Aggieland
  • 6:08 National Anthem: Texas Our Texas
  • 6:15 –on ESPN – Kick-Off – BTHO ALABAMA!
  • 6:16 – Ensure Smelling Salts are close by. Get Dammit Doll Ready.

First, to the Announcers:

Corp march in 2016. Photo by me.

Dear ESPN, if one of your booth mouth jockeys or whichever of you is on the ground – If you say “Battle Hymn” instead of War Hymn as you did last week, please run. Run Away Now. Run to Austin. Remember those people pictured above carry swords.

Second: Welcome to College Station, Texas, Coach Sabin (sic). I hope you like the hospitality and have a memorial experience in Kyle Field.

Looking out my backyard. Photo by me.

Third: Pardon me for  yelling, but it is going to take a lot more yelling than this. OH LORD! LET THERE BE A MIRACLE ON THE BRAZOS ON SATURDAY NIGHT IN KYLE FIELD BY THE LIGHT OF THE SILVERY MOON.

PLEASE DO NOT LET THE TIDE RUNNETH OVER AND DROWN DOTH THE AGGIES.

Photo by KB

Photo by KB

PLEASE LET THE 12TH MAN SOUNDETH LOUD WHEN ALABAMA HAS THE BALL.

PLEASE HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH SMELLING SALTS UNTIL THE CLOCK READS 00:00 ENDING THE GAME.

PLEASE, HELP THE AGGIES BEATETH THE HELL OUT OF ALABAMA!

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

It is ever too early to start preparing for this weekend’s football game. I am so excited. Ms. Navasota and I have an opportunity to tailgate in the afternoon prior to the Texas Aggie Alabama game Saturday night. Maybe Ms. Navasota’s cousin KT will join us.

I dusted off the Beat Alabama Shrine last evening and begin lighting the candle when I say vespers. I realize the helmet, even with the JM autograph is of little value, but he is the only one to have Rolled back the Tide.

Ms. Navasota, Cousin KT and I want to blend in with the college coed crowd so we need an appropriate game day wardrobe. Just because it has been almost 50 years since we graduated from under grad school, we want to fit it toe to head.

I believe we three are able to produce the necessary cowboy boots. I mean we are all Native Texas so we have several pair.

We have had difficulty to finding Daisy Dukes cut offs in our sizes that show off our butt cheeks. It seems the stores do not carry our sizes of cut offs with elastic waists or in super stretch. I believe we have been able to make do with some jeans we had left over from George W.’s first term and a pair of pinkin shears. Those alligator teeth scissors.

I am going to skip bodice attire and focus on face and head-gear and save the bodice until last. Like boots, all Native Texas have a cowboy hat of some sort. Real cowboys and cowgirls have several hats – the high dollar beaver hat you wear to rodeo; the nice summer straw hat you wear in the summer; the hats you work it and the $2.00 hat you wear to costume parties.

This cheap cowboy hat is appropriate else it distract from the $250 Rayban Aviator sun glasses that adorn your face. Side bar: Being the more literary type, my $250 Rayban sun glasses are called “Gatsby” for the sign over the Optical Shop in The Great Gatsby and Cats That Support Aggies.

But back to bodice. I have purchased each of us a maroon lace bralette.

While it sounds like a cheap wine or a French dessert, it seems you wear this over your bra and it is supposed to function as a shirt or blouse. I honest to God do not know if this is the back or the front. We will have to experiment.

We will supply our own bras to wear under our lace bralettes. I suppose the bras I have with NIKE on them will not work. Oooh, I wonder if there is a bra that says BTHO Bama! I would so wear that.

I doubt you will be able to see us on television because we will be so blended in with the co-eds. I plan to wear my maroon bralette over my T-shirt.

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Thirty days hath September and there were some games to remember and many to forget… But first.

The NFL debacle – IMHO – This should never have been an issue. The intrusion of the government into the corporate arena sets a dangerous precedent. Here’s what I’m thinking – the American citizens in Puerto Rico would die to have a cold drink of fresh water and electricity to even watch TV. Wait, the citizens just might die while waiting. So why?

Speaking of why? Why is THE University of Texas playing on a Thursday? Better yet, why is THE University even playing Iowa State? Even better, why is Iowa State even in the Big 12 Conference?

BEVO – Photo by Jill.

But BEVO’s Boys withstood the Cyclones 17-7. Please know that Iowa State is in the running for Ugly Uniform Award. The mascot is a weather pattern.

Tonight we have Miami and Duke on ESPN at 6:00 and USC and Washington State following. It is always fun to watch a Mike Leach team.

The Saturday Wake-up Call Games at 11:00 are:

New Mexico State and Arkansas on SECN – more Aggies for the Baconators. Did you know the New Mexico State mascot is named Pistol Pete?

  • Vanderbilt and Florida on ESPN – Did you know the ONLY altruistic endeavor by Commodore Vanderbilt was the establishment of Vanderbilt University?
  • Northwestern and Wisconsin on ABC. Yawn.

In the 2:30 time slot we find:

  • Baylor at Kansas State @ 2:30 on ESPN 2. This depends on which Bears show up in Manhattan. Could be interesting if the ones from last week take the field.
  • Georgia and Tennessee on CBS – Dogs again. UGA and Smokey. I don’t know if “Rocky Top will always be…”

Why? Why are the best games in the evening?

If any two teams should have a weather pattern as their mascot it should be Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. in Lubbock at 7:00 on Fox. Tortillas blowing in the wind.

Love my TT pic. Love you Little Sister. AXOs.

If Oklahoma State and New Mexico State should meet in a game, would it be Dueling Pistol Petes?

In the battle between Mississippi and Alabama ESPN will showcase:

  • Mississippi State and Auburn at 5:00. To the Bulldogs – you need a Big Solid Defense. To Auburn: Roll Tide.
  • Ole Miss and Alabama at 8:00 ESPN at Tuscaloosa – Hotty Toddy, but Roll Tide. Dear Coach Saban, Do not underestimate your opponent. The Rebels have nothing to play for except pride.

Sandwiched between the Battle of Mississippi and Alabama we find Troy University at Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge to meet LSU at 6:00 in the last non-conference primer for LSU. Here is a primer on Troy: The Troy Trojans mascot is named T-Roy. He is one of those dressed up mascots. Troy University’s athletics nickname was the Red Wave until the early 1970s when the student body voted to change the name to Trojans. I am not going to ask why they changed to that. One can only hope the students and the state of Alabama were aware that Trojan refers to a warrior and not a birth control device.

The game of the weekend is the Texas A&M Aggies versus the South Carolina Gamecocks on the SECN at 6:30.That means crappy announcers live from Kyle Field. Things to watch for overall: Crappy announcers misprouncing small Texas towns, talking way too much and saying nothing. For the Gamecocks watch for Uncle Will Muschamp exploding at referees and players. For the Aggies watch for the explosive Captain Christian Kirk.

Other burning questions you must have are:

What is the mascot of South Carolina?

Cocky (mascot) Cocky is the costumed mascot of the University of South Carolina athletics teams. He represents a cartoon version of a gamecock (a fighting rooster).

Why is South Carolina’s mascot a Gamecock?

The University of South Carolina’s varsity sports teams are known as the “Gamecocks”. This unique moniker is held in honor of Thomas Sumter, a Revolutionary War hero from South Carolina who was nicknamed the “Carolina Gamecock” after British General Banastre Tarleton said Sumter “fought like a gamecock.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocky_(mascot)

What is the mascot of Texas A&M?

The mascot of Texas A&M University is Reveille. She is a beautiful and very real Collie and the First Lady of Aggieland. She is prettiest mascot in her category in the NCAA mascot contest.

Source: NCAA and every Texas Aggie on the planet.

Native Texan Wall: Texas Monthly Cover signed “To Delia; Ann Richards.” FYI – I also have George W’s signature signed “To Delia Best Wishes George W. Bush.

Since we started the day with politics, let us end it with politics. When former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, was campaigning for her first term, she and her staff were flying to The Valley on a campaign trip. One of her staff members asked: “Miss Richards, the people will want to know where you stand on cock fighting.” Miss Richards replied “To be honest, I never met one that I wanted to fight with.”

BTHO South Carolina.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017- From the File: Don’t Remember – History/ Doomed to Repeat it. 1969.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017- From the File: Don’t Remember – History/ Doomed to Repeat it. 1969.

What is wrong with We, the People?

If you are watching the Ken Burns and Karen Novik PBS Series The Vietnam War then you know we have done this before. Ask me, I was there. I was 20 years old. I saw US divided. I saw US protesting for and against. I saw US yelling and hating. I saw US killing each other in the streets and villages in places with foreign names and in places like Ohio. There was no way one could not be caught up in the times in some way.  Yes, I still have my protest buttons. “Old enough to fight; old enough to vote:” Thank you great nieces and nephews!

Sometimes in watching each episode of The Vietnam War I think, the only difference between then and now is high definition, digital television and sound.

How did the story end then? President Richard Nixon resigned in scandal for lying among other impeachable offenses. I bet he was even lying about the damn dog, Checkers, and Pat’s “good, Republican, cloth coat.”

I do not know how the same song/second verse of history will end this time. But, HWIT, I do not think the continued division over football is worth US being divided.

Like then: like now – How can people be so heartless? We, the People, need to focus on other issues.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017 – It’s Voter Registration Day

Tuesday, September 26, 2017 – It’s Voter Registration Day

Today is voter registration day. If you sincerely want to see change, then register to vote and exercise your privilege to cast you ballot.

Meanwhile back in the chaos. It is not about the flag. It is not about disrespecting the United States. It is about supporting the Constitutional right guaranteed by the First Amendment as “the right to protest.” Do not confuse dissent with disrespect.

Rosa Parks was not protesting the buses or the transportation system. Gandhi was not protesting junk food. Martin Luther King was not walking through the South for the soul food.

I hope you are registered to vote. Be thankful that we live in a country where we have the rights expressed in The United States Constitution.

Meanwhile I am taking the day off and taking a knee.

Should have been a constitutional lawyer.

Beyond here, there be dragons. Photo by me. Austin graffiti wall – 2013

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Things begin to get serious for teams I like and teams that play teams I like. There are few cupcake games on the schedule. Defensive and offensive units begin to solidify. We hope.

Let us begin with Poopy Undies Awards. This is given to the fans of teams who need a change in undergarments due to their team’s performance. The first award goes to the Fighting Texas Aggies for once again defeating the Arkansas Razorbacks in overtime. How many times now Hogs? Doesn’t matter the South Carolina Chickens are coming to College Station.

Poopy Undies Awards must be awarded to the fans of Oklahoma and Baylor. To go with your Poo Poo Undies Award, OU, you also receive The Never Under Estimate your Opponent Award.

Boomer Sooner Baylor Bust. Photo by Debbie

While we are giving bodily function awards, let us proceed to the Pepto Bismal Awards for upsets.

  • Florida – 28 Kentucky – 27 – Gator kick field goal to win as time expires. Basketball season begins soon!
  • Florida State 21 NC State 27- Good bye to the Top 25 for the Seminoles.
  • TCU – 44 Oklahoma State -31 – Pissed Off Pistol Pete in Stillwater. Frogs rising and making things interesting in the Big 12.

The Southern Ladies Arts and Crafts Ideas for During Game Award goes to those who endured the Mississippi State loss to Georgia. Bully 3 and UGA 31.

Ladies, may I suggest implementing a Cursing Jar on game day? This is for those whose language often becomes colorful when one is forced to utter expletive deleteds as he or she watches in horror as their alma mater has no defense and no offense. With each play, drop a quarter into a plastic jar. Jars should be plastic to avoid breakages when thrown at the television.

This Curse Fund can add up quickly. During the Texas Aggie/UCLA game I made five dollars during the fourth quarter alone. Variations may include quarters for one syllable curses; two quarters for compound words; and a $1.00 for compound words and phrases questioning one’s religion and one’s birth mother.

The only Big Solid Award for Defense goes to Texas Aggie Armani Watts for intercepting the pass in the end zone to end the game in OT and seal a victory for the Aggies.

To the official from The Hellen Keller School of Officiating, we give the Right Foot Wrong Foot Award. This is given for calling the Aggie QB out of bounds when it was actually the defender who was out of bounds. Does the “S” stand for Sightless?

Photo by Barrett Sallee, from Twitter.

The last awards are the fashion awards. First the team – to Baylor. Not exactly ugly, but the black and gold lame (pronounced “lay may”) numbers did not work for me. But hey, if works, then keep on wearing. Also, do you know how long it took me to find out how to spell lame? And now I can’t find the little punctuation thing show it is French prounced‘lamay’ and not ‘lame’ as the team was before.

The final fashion award for Worst Dressed goes to Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema. Yes, that sweat shirt made you look frumpy. It looked like a last minute pick up off the floor fashion decision. Show some dressing!

I apologize for no awards to the Biggies this week as each had no trouble with their opponent – Alabama, Ohio State and Clemson. Here’s a Dr. Pepper and boys’ medium shirt from Larry, Doug Flutie and Boston College.

I wonder if South Carolina will take the mascot to the Dixie Chicken next Saturday. BTHO South Carolina. Maybe we’ll tailgate. I’ll bring chicken tacos!