Category Archives: College Football

Monday, September 14, 2020 – The COVID Monday after College Football Awards

Posted on September 14, 2020 | 1 comment

Monday, September 14, 2020 – The COVID Monday after College Football Awards

While it is true that Here’s What I’m Thinking has been in semi-quarantine (grocery store and gym), the truer reason is this. It is so dang hard to be happy and cheerful during The COVID Era. But perhaps the return of college football will spark some energy.

The awards usually follow a Snarky Friday about teams, but it just didn’t seem appropriate since last Friday was 9/11. Nineteen years later I still remember every detail from the moment the American Airlines plane I was on sat down in New Orleans until I reached Austin.

But let me see if I have any awards to hand out.

Let’s begin with an award that goes to every team that played. May I present you with the It Shows That There Was No Spring Practice Award. Most teams looked as though they would have difficulty against Our Sisters of the Perpetually Poor. Games were filled with false starts, illegal motions, lack of timing and favorite poor tackling.

The Blow-Out/Upset Award goes to each winning school in the Big 12 Conference. As in previous years, there are only ten universities and only four are located in Texas.

But if your Big 12 school won, it was a blow out. If your Big 12 lost, it was an upset. Better luck next week.

There is no Poopy Undies Award because games were not really close in score. Oh wait. Let’s give a Poopy Undies Award to Tortilla Tech who barely beat Houston Baptist 35 to 33. Houston Baptist? Nobody goes to HB to play football.

The award for No Spittle in the Air goes to the referee crews who used some kind of whistling gadget that when a button is pushed a shrill whistling sound can be heard in the next county. This was used rather than whistles to avoid spit droplets. (Most used a Fox 40 Classic – you can get one at your Walmart)

I would be remiss if I did not give The Cardboard Fan Cut Out Award to each team. Strange, but less booing of teams and referees,

However, the best award goes to B. J. Forester formerly of THE University of Texas at Austin. Mr. Forester receives the “Not ‘til Gabriel Blows His Horn for Me Award” for leaving the game and quitting the team in the third quarter.

Perhaps next week’s games will be more exciting. Bad football is better than no football. We can continue to wait until real college football season begins when the SEC plays. It just means more.

Stay safe. Wear a mask.

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Posted in College Football, college football, Education, humor, The University of Texas, Uncategorized

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Posted on June 2, 2020 | 1 comment

Tuesday, June 2, 2020 – COVID 19 Be Damned – Let’s Play Football!

We are the Aggies and we are coming for you!

Aggie mask

https://youtu.be/5X3MZMxFMWc

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Posted in College Football, college football, humor, Jimbo Fisher, Native Texan, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies, Uncategorized

Monday, January 13, 2020 – TODAY! The Division I NCAA College Football Championship

Posted on January 13, 2020 | 2 comments

Monday, January 13, 2020 – TODAY! The Division I NCAA College Football Championship

TO: The LSU Tigers

FROM: The Institutions of Higher Education created by The Morrill Act (Land grants Universities),

The schools of the Southeastern Conference,

The people of Louisiana, and

Those who have roots there even though they do not live there

DATE: January 13, 2020

SUBJECT: Beat the Hell Out of Clemson

GEAUX TIGERS! Bring that trophy to Louisiana!

We are all wearing purple and gold today.

Besides, nobody looks good in orange. It does not match any other colors and does not rhyme with any other words.

Look, even my cat. Obviously, she is a descendant from the line of one of the LSU’s Mike the Tiger.

Peach on LSU shirt

This message is only good until November 28, 2020!

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Uncategorized

Tagged NCAA National Championship 2020

Friday, January 10, 2020 – Until November 28, 2020 Continued

Posted on January 10, 2020 | 2 comments

Friday, January 10, 2020 – Until November 28, 2020 Continued

Many of you know that Donnie Daye was my first cousin. His mother and my mother were sisters.

Donnie played on the 1958 LSU Championship Team. He was a blocking back for Heisman Winner, Billy Cannon. Allegedly Donnie threw the block in the Halloween game that sprang Billy Cannon down the sideline to score against Ole Miss.

I only have a few LSU sports related memorabilia, but I do have this shirt, some pictures Donnie’s wife Penny sent and a pic or two of me and Billy Cannon. My conversation with Billy Cannon is a great memory.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 004 - Copy (600x800)

Me: Mr. Cannon? Will you sign my shirt?

BC: Oh, my goodness. Where did you get this?

Me: In Godsheaux’s in …

BC: In Plaquemine, Louisiana?

Me: Yes. Donnie Daye is my first cousin. I was visiting our aunt who lives there a couple of years ago and bought this commorative shirt.

He moved the shirt to side, and we talked for about five minutes before he signed my shirt.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

I was able to get both Donnie and Billy to sign it. shirt 2.1

Check it out – Favorite Aggie Cuz!

Donnie and Penny Daye

Donnie passed away in December 2017. This is LSU’s tribute to Donnie the following football season.

Donnie, Penny and Billy have since gone to the Big Game. But I am thinking they are saying with me…

BEAT THE HELL OUTTA CLEMSON! AGAIN!

Sugar Bowl

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Uncategorized

Thursday, January 9, 2020 – Just Until November 28, 2020

Posted on January 9, 2020 | Leave a comment

Thursday, January 9, 2020 – Just Until November 28, 2020

Dear Friends and Especially my Family from Louisiana and to Donnie and Penny Daye and Billy Cannon in Heaven,

I have always believed that had my parents not moved to Texas I would have an LSU degree on the wall. Instead, there is a sheepskin on the wall from Texas A&M University.

Therefore, LSU fans, in anticipation of your upcoming game on January 13, 2020, celebrating the birthdays of myself and the lovely and talented CSE, who is actually from Louisiana, and the National Football Championship Game, I have written a song in anticipation victory.

Come on Joe, we gotta go me oh my oh

We gotta go pole the pirougue down the bayou

The S-E-C it just means more me oh my oh

Son of gun let’s have big fun on the bayou

Well jambalaya and a crawfish pie; make Clemson gumbo

Cause that night you gonna get football’s ma cher amino

We’ll pick guitars, fill fruit jars until Novembro,

Until then you gonna bring it on the bayou.

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

Posted on November 22, 2019 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

There has just been too much snark this week. Therefore, The Snark is out to reduce Snark Pollution and will only address a few games. Besides, my online class at The University of Legargy begins soon.

Penn State at Ohio State – 11:00 on Fox. For those you care. For the rest of us, it is a good time to run Saturday errands.

The only reason I include The War of the Catholics of Boston College and Notre Dame is for my weekly text from RL. It cheers me up. Oh, the game is on the Notre Dame Network (NBC) at 1:30. Plenty of time to make Saturday evening mass.

The rest of the times and stations appear to have cupcake games. These include: W. Carolina and Alabama, Samford (not STANFORD) at Auburn and LSU and Arkansas.

Therefore there are only two games of significance. And at the same scheduled time. Ugly face emoticon.

THE University of Texas at Baylor – 2:30 on FS1 in The Battle for I-35. Waco is only two hours north of Austin. I hope the Horns left early this morning. Given I-35 construction and traffic, the buses may arrive by game time tomorrow.

To the Bears! – Remember there are FOUR QUARTERS in the game. You have to play all of them. Sic ‘Em Bears. Pour that Baptist Holy Water in the Brazos.

Texas A&M at The University of Georgia – 2:30 CBS “between the hedges” in Sanford (Again, NOT STANFORD) Stadium. This promises to be heartbreaker for the team whose mascot is a canine. Let’s hope it is the team with the collie whose name begins with R that does the heart breaking.

Oh Snark. Aggies on CBS with Gary Danielson! Remember last week he laughed at and made fun of the female photographer who was knocked unconscious and carted off the field by stretcher. To shut Gary up, find a radio station with the Aggie/Georgia Game, mute the TV and enjoy the game. Or watch the TU and BU game.

BTHO Georgia!

Friday, November 15, 2019 – The Return of the Snark

Posted on November 16, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, November 15, 2019 – The Return of the Snark

This is for the three of you of missed me. I apologize. I was taking an online course from The University of Legarthy. FYI – I made an A.

We are now at the point in the season of college football where each snap matters. Every touch of the football is critical. Each down is the “big play.” As I always state, this is about teams I like or teams that play teams I like. If you follow, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State and/or Ohio State, find somebody who likes your teams.

So, this weekend, here is who I like and what I am thinking about each.

Alabama at Mississippi State at 11:00 on ESPN. See what happens when you lose a game. You get the awful 11:00 time slot. The cow bells are especially annoying at this hour.

Navy at ND 1:30 on NBC. Anchors Away! And take the weird leprechaun with you. RL, I shall await your weekly ND text.

THE University of Texas at Iowa State 2:30 on FS1. Even though Baylor students and faculty are turning the Brazos River into Holy Water for this weekend, do not look ahead. Else Bevo will be the cow in the Twister movie. The Cyclones are unpredictable.

Georgia and Auburn 2:30 on CBS. This is a keep the remote handy game with conference and bowl implications. The Snark crystal Bball says Georgia will be upset before the end of the season.

LSU and Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN. Sweet memories of the Halloween Game of days gone by. Miss you Cousin Donnie Daye. And Cousin Penny too. Geaux Tigers!

Oklahoma at Baylor 6:30 on ABC. As mentioned, the Brazos River that runs by McLane Stadium is being filled with holy water in an effort to keep Baylor undefeated. It is not like there have not been miracles on the Brazos in previous years.

ESPN Game Day will be broadcast from Waco. HWIT. This is a biggie. It is a huge game with Big 12 Conference titles and bowl game selections on line.

Fans are expected to start camping out around the stadium around 4:00 pm TODAY! The Home Depot Campus Cornhole Challenge is from 1:-30-3:30. I can’t wait until Cornhole becomes an NCAA sport.

The Snark’s crystal ball says Chip and Joanna will be guest pickers with food coming from their Magnolia Diner. The Magnolia Diner is where the original Elite on the Circle café was. If you have been to Waco and gone around “the circle” a few times, you know what I am talking about. I even have a button that says “I survived The Elite Circle.” Watch out Bears, you could get stuck in “the circle.”

With the remote firmly in hand to keep up with Baylor, naturally I shall be watching:

South Carolina at Texas A&M 6:30 on SECN. This is the last home game before Jimbo and the Ags go on the road again to Athens and Baton Rouge to close out the season.

The A&M fans will “pass it back” and will join the South Carolina fans by holding up three fingers in the third quarter to honor the life of Tyler Hilinski. Tyler is the late brother of South Carolina quarterback Ryan Hilinski. Tyler was also a Division I quarterback at Washington State. Tyler took his own life in January 2018. The family’s organization of Hilinski’s Hope calls attention to mental illness among athletes.

However, at the end of the Fourth Quarter the Aggies will

BTHO out of South Carolina. Gig ‘Em Aggies!

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Posted in Alabama, Baylor University, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Tagged South Carolina Gamecocks

Friday, October 25, 2019 – Snarky Friday

Posted on October 25, 2019 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 25, 2019 – Snarky Friday

It is a delay of snark for me today. I had to go to the store to ready myself for the cold weather. There was a 50 degree temperature drop in Texas yesterday between The Panhandle and South Texas. Amarillo was blanketed in snow and it was 87 degrees in the Brazos Valley. Today it is 49 degrees. Therefore, it was necessary to obtain the four basic food groups for a drizzly, rainy, cold, baseball and football weekend. The four groups are sweet, salty, alcohol and chocolate.

Depending on what the Astros do tonight, I will not have to go to the store again Saturday for football.

But let’s get snarked on college football teams. The early morning football screen time draws are:

At 11:00 we start the day with the Texas Aggies and the Mississippi State Bulldogs on SEC Network. Hold on to your pants, Kellen! We do not want to see a moon over Kyle Field. There will be lots of maroon and white. Reveille likes Bully. Please do not bring those cowbells!

Opposite at 11:00 on ABC the Sooners of OU right their Schooner and roll over Kansas State. Jalen collects statistics!

At 2:30 THE University of Texas goes to Cowtown in Fort Worth to play TCU on Fox. If the Texas defense does not show up again this week, this could be a close one with Purple Rain.

The big football game that has significant meaning is on CBS at 2:30 with Auburn in Death Valley meeting LSU. In this battle of the tigers, Mike will be victorious over Aubie. LSU and the Burrows Boys! This is your time to put the fear of Death Valley into Auburn and the rest of the SEC!

I was told I forgot to mention Penn State last week. Penn State visits Michigan State on ABC at 2:30. This is a definite possibility for Ugly Uniform Award. So there you go I mentioned it.

At 6:00 Arkansas goes to Alabama to be rolled over by The Tide on ESPN. Another opportunity for Tua to rest.

At 6:30 the Notre Dame Fenians take their gold flaked helmets to The Big House and play Michigan. Harbaugh? If you want to save your job, this would be good time to start. Note: Fenians – one must know their Irish History.

Also on Saturday the Astros will be playing Game 4 of the World Series. In further prognostications (why say ‘guesses when a four syllable word will do?), the Astros will even the series and return to H-Town!

BTHO Mississippi State!

Two months from today! Merry Christmas!

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 21, 2019 | 1 comment

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

We can beat around the bushes; we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin’ lot, but either way
There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know

And was there ever a heartache for many teams this weekend.

Please form a line to the left because all teams are receiving a Poopy Undies Awards. Ugly games; Ugly wins; Ugly losses; ugly plays; ugly uniforms and ugly weather.

But the Grand Poopy Awards go to The University of Wisconsin for the last minute loss to Illinois. I would like to present the Fighting Illini, whatever an Illini is, The Colonel Henry Blake Award. It just proves that a team wearing ugly uniforms can win. Who caught the Henry Blake Award? Wisconsin 23 Illinois 24

The riders of the Sooner Schooner receive a Glad You Are OK Award. Watch out for those sharp turns. According to my sources, the last Schooner flip was in 1993 and something about the girl wearing no underwear. I was unaware that people from Oklahoma wore underwear at all. Meanwhile Jalen & Company’s OU wagons continue to roll merrily along. OU 52 – West Virginia 14

Receiving the Blowout in Your Drawers Awards are Missouri and THE University of Texas. Mr. Commodore upset Mr. Tiger if someone cares Vandy 20 – Missouri 14.

And Big Jay of the Kansas Jayhawks scared the cow poop out of Bevo. Kansas! Kansas scored 48 points. Kansas didn’t score 48 points in all of their last five games combined last year. I give the Ghosts of Football Past to the Texas defensive unit. Kansas 48 Texas 50.

If the Horns did not have Elinger, they would be number three in the Big 12. Oh wait, they are number three. And any team left can beat you, including the Bears of Baylor and you have to travel to Ames too. When was the last time Baylor was ranked ahead of the Horns in both the conference and the AP Polls? And the Bears put Holy Water in the Brazos on home game days, I am told.

The Bears of Baylor receive the John Deere Green Helmets Award for cool headwear. The Bears did spoil Oklahoma State’s Homecoming 47 to 27.

The Ain’t No Jalen or Sunshine When He’s Gone Award goes to Alabama for the loss of Tua. But the Tide still rolls 35 to 13 over Tennessee. Get well, Tua.

The Texas Aggies receive the Butt Ugly Award for a very ugly win in Oxford against Ole Miss. Where does fog originate in Oxford, Mississippi? TAMU 24 – Ole Miss 17

Speaking of butts, the best play of any football game this weekend goes to QB Joe Burrows of LSU and Mississippi State. Let’s all sing in Heisman award-winning harmony:

We saw your hiney; it was bright and shiney

It made us giggle when you wiggled.

Therefore, Joe and the LSU Tigers receive the Moon Over Mississippi State Award! Did you notice that Mr. Burrows showed his true, Southern gentlemanly character? He first took care of the football and then tried to pull up his pants. One must like a man that has his football priorities in order.

https://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/sports/lsu/article_02829f9c-f2d9-11e9-b093-eb0c8798d2cc.html

LSU 36 Mississippi State 13

The worse, as in You Suck and SHAME ON YOU Award, goes to CBS for the broadcasting the incident in slow motion! Did Nessler and Danielson call this game? I am with the Baton Rouge Advocate – apologize to LSU and the rest of us for your lack of taste and poor announcing.

Of course the best play of the weekend was:

“Hello, I am Jose Altuve.” BOOM!

ASTROS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!

Good bye, Hut’s. So sad to see you go.

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Posted in Alabama, Baylor University, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Tagged Colonel Henry Blake, Illinois, LSU, University of Wisconsin

Friday, October 17, 2019 – A Snarky Friday Drinking Game

Posted on October 18, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, October 17, 2019 – A Snarky Friday Drinking Game

Are you ready?

Hell Yeah. Damn right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty

Who the Hell are we?

Bim Bam Flim Flam

Ole Miss by damn.

Since Texas A&M is travelling to Oxford to play the Ole Miss, today we snark with a toddy drinking game. Grab your favorite beverage and play along. For each incorrect answer, you must take a shot.

What is the name of the mascot for each college football team listed below?

Let us begin with a few easy ones. For example:

Texas A&M – Reveille

THE University of Texas – Bevo

Remember. Name the mascot; not the team.

Alabama – Big Al. It is the name of the anthropomorphic (dressed up college student) elephant. The homecoming queen used to ride in on an elephant. Some traditions need to be brought back. Drink up.
Georgia – UGA the bulldog. A very cool, live mascot, but drools.
LSU – Mike, the Tiger. How could you not know this? One of the most beautiful live mascots in football.
Mississippi State – Bully the bulldog. Very cool live mascot. Does he wear a cowbell around his neck?

LSU at Mississippi State at 2:30 on CBS.

Arkansas – Tusk. Big ugly, black hog.
Auburn – Aubie the Tiger. Anthropomorphic, fake Tiger. Aubie? What is the war eagle’s name? AubieBird? You didn’t know either one of those. Drink!

Auburn at Arkansas 11:00 SEC

Florida – Albert and Alberta Gator. Drink up. I know you did not know this one. I think they should be Mr. and Mrs. Choppers. Albert and Alberta are kinda cute anthropomorphic critters if you are into mascots that can kill you.

Florida at South Carolina at 11:00 on ESPN

Think you are doing well? Let’s move on. Hic!

Ole Miss – Tony the Land Shark. Drink up. You know you said Rebels. Tony the Land Shark became the Ole Miss mascot in August of 2018. It has to do with a former Ole Miss player who was an Iraqi veteran. I have no idea why it is a shark, especially since Oxford is almost in Tennessee.

Texas A&M at Ole Miss at 6:30 on SEC.

Tennessee – Smokey. A coon hound, but I’m sure he Volunteers for the honor.

Tennessee at Alabama 8:00 ESPN.

Vanderbilt – Mr. Commodore. Really? Just Mr. Commodore? Not even Cornelius or Gloria? Maybe Stingy Railroad Tycoon was already taken.

Baylor – Judge Joy and Judge Lady. Did you know that in 1914 the choice of mascots was between “Bears” and “Bookworms? “In 1974, the student body voted to name all the bears “Judge” followed by a surname in honor of the university’s namesake, Judge R.E.B. Baylor. Baylor’s current mascots are “Joy,” named in honor of the wife of President Emeritus (and former Chancellor) Herbert H. Reynolds, and the newest mascot, “Lady” named after Sue Sloan, wife of then-President Dr. Robert B. Sloan Jr.
Oklahoma State –Pistol Pete. But did you know that Bullet is the name of the black quarter horse ridden prior to OSU home games?

Oklahoma State and Baylor 3:00 on Fox

Kansas – Big Jay. Sounds like a rapper.

Kansas at THE University of Texas at 6:00 on LHN.

OU – Boomer and Sooner. I think they are anthropomorphic horses.

OU and WVa at 11:00 on Fox

SMU – Peruna. Not a fake horse. The horse was named after a popular patent medicine made up of 18 % alcohol.
Texas Tech – The Masked Rider. I really think Tech should rethink the mascot thing. Red Raider, Masked Rider with Guns Up is a no. The Texas Tech Flying Tortillas has potential.
Ohio State – Brutus Buckey. But if you said Pot Leaves Helmet, at this point in the game, we’ll take it. Drink.
And last and least – Notre Dame – Leprechaun. Leprechaun? Saints preserve us. No name. Not even a Mr. Leprechaun? Not even a Saint Patrick? Or a Muffet? Just Leprechaun? If ND is the Fighting Irish, I think the mascot should be named the IRA or Sinn Fein. Just saying.

RL? Did you know those gold, faux halo helmets of ND are really painted with gold? 23/9 karat gold flake in the paint of every helmet. Sounds flakey to me.

How many drinks did you take? Can you say anthropomorphic?

BTHO OLE MISS

GO ASTROS! BRING IT!