Category Archives: Texas Aggie football

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

There has just been too much snark this week. Therefore, The Snark is out to reduce Snark Pollution and will only address a few games. Besides, my online class at The University of Legargy begins soon.

Penn State at Ohio State – 11:00 on Fox. For those you care. For the rest of us, it is a good time to run Saturday errands.

The only reason I include The War of the Catholics of Boston College and Notre Dame is for my weekly text from RL. It cheers me up. Oh, the game is on the Notre Dame Network (NBC) at 1:30. Plenty of time to make Saturday evening mass.

The rest of the times and stations appear to have cupcake games. These include: W. Carolina and Alabama, Samford (not STANFORD) at Auburn and LSU and Arkansas.

Therefore there are only two games of significance. And at the same scheduled time. Ugly face emoticon.

THE University of Texas at Baylor – 2:30 on FS1 in The Battle for I-35. Waco is only two hours north of Austin. I hope the Horns left early this morning. Given I-35 construction and traffic, the buses may arrive by game time tomorrow.

To the Bears! – Remember there are FOUR QUARTERS in the game. You have to play all of them. Sic ‘Em Bears. Pour that Baptist Holy Water in the Brazos.

Texas A&M at The University of Georgia – 2:30 CBS “between the hedges” in Sanford (Again, NOT STANFORD) Stadium. This promises to be heartbreaker for the team whose mascot is a canine. Let’s hope it is the team with the collie whose name begins with R that does the heart breaking.

Oh Snark. Aggies on CBS with Gary Danielson! Remember last week he laughed at and made fun of the female photographer who was knocked unconscious and carted off the field by stretcher. To shut Gary up, find a radio station with the Aggie/Georgia Game, mute the TV and enjoy the game. Or watch the TU and BU game.

BTHO Georgia!

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

We can beat around the bushes; we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin’ lot, but either way
There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know

And was there ever a heartache for many teams this weekend.

Please form a line to the left because all teams are receiving a Poopy Undies Awards. Ugly games; Ugly wins; Ugly losses; ugly plays; ugly uniforms and ugly weather.

But the Grand Poopy Awards go to The University of Wisconsin for the last minute loss to Illinois. I would like to present the Fighting Illini, whatever an Illini is, The Colonel Henry Blake Award. It just proves that a team wearing ugly uniforms can win. Who caught the Henry Blake Award? Wisconsin 23 Illinois 24

The riders of the Sooner Schooner receive a Glad You Are OK Award. Watch out for those sharp turns. According to my sources, the last Schooner flip was in 1993 and something about the girl wearing no underwear. I was unaware that people from Oklahoma wore underwear at all. Meanwhile Jalen & Company’s OU wagons continue to roll merrily along. OU 52 – West Virginia 14

Receiving the Blowout in Your Drawers Awards are Missouri and THE University of Texas. Mr. Commodore upset Mr. Tiger if someone cares Vandy 20 – Missouri 14.

And Big Jay of the Kansas Jayhawks scared the cow poop out of Bevo. Kansas! Kansas scored 48 points. Kansas didn’t score 48 points in all of their last five games combined last year. I give the Ghosts of Football Past to the Texas defensive unit. Kansas 48 Texas 50.

If the Horns did not have Elinger, they would be number three in the Big 12. Oh wait, they are number three. And any team left can beat you, including the Bears of Baylor and you have to travel to Ames too. When was the last time Baylor was ranked ahead of the Horns in both the conference and the AP Polls? And the Bears put Holy Water in the Brazos on home game days, I am told.

The Bears of Baylor receive the John Deere Green Helmets Award for cool headwear. The Bears did spoil Oklahoma State’s Homecoming 47 to 27.

The Ain’t No Jalen or Sunshine When He’s Gone Award goes to Alabama for the loss of Tua. But the Tide still rolls 35 to 13 over Tennessee. Get well, Tua.

The Texas Aggies receive the Butt Ugly Award for a very ugly win in Oxford against Ole Miss. Where does fog originate in Oxford, Mississippi? TAMU 24 – Ole Miss 17

Speaking of butts, the best play of any football game this weekend goes to QB Joe Burrows of LSU and Mississippi State. Let’s all sing in Heisman award-winning harmony:

We saw your hiney; it was bright and shiney

It made us giggle when you wiggled.

Therefore, Joe and the LSU Tigers receive the Moon Over Mississippi State Award! Did you notice that Mr. Burrows showed his true, Southern gentlemanly character? He first took care of the football and then tried to pull up his pants. One must like a man that has his football priorities in order.

https://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/sports/lsu/article_02829f9c-f2d9-11e9-b093-eb0c8798d2cc.html

LSU 36 Mississippi State 13

The worse, as in You Suck and SHAME ON YOU Award, goes to CBS for the broadcasting the incident in slow motion! Did Nessler and Danielson call this game? I am with the Baton Rouge Advocate – apologize to LSU and the rest of us for your lack of taste and poor announcing.

Of course the best play of the weekend was:

“Hello, I am Jose Altuve.” BOOM!

ASTROS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!

Good bye, Hut’s. So sad to see you go.

Monday, October 14, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 14, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

May I have the trophies, please?

Our first awards are Bad Sportsmanship Awards. This is given to THE University of Texas and Oklahoma. Both teams received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty BEFORE the game even started.

The Queen QB Under Pressure Award goes to THE University of Texas QB Sam Elinger. Poor Sam also receives The Blue Skies of Texas of Award because he saw so many blue skies looking up from the ground.

Moving to the Alabama Texas A&M game. The Memorial Brent Mushberger Mouth Award goes to Brad Nessler. This award was handed out with Nessler’s opening words when he said “Reveille’s barking and HE’S ready to make HIS way into the stadium.”  Next time you refer to Miss Reveille as a HE, I guarantee the Aggies will take you from a rooster to a hen with one swift, well-placed saber swing. And what was wrong with Gary Danielson? He actually said complimentary things about the Aggies. But alas, time ran out on the Aggies. Time may run out several times more before next season.

To the Crimson Tide who rolled over the Aggies. You received The Hard Work Award because you had to work hard to roll over the Ags. I am awarding the Alabama Head Coach, Nick Saban, The Worried Man Award. It takes a worried man to sing a worried song. Mr. Nick, you looked worried during the entire game!

Best part of the game was the helicopter flyover from the 36 Combat Aviation Brigade of the Texas Army National Guard. I caught a glimpse as they flew over the house.

I was amiss with Snarky Friday’s comments by not mentioning Mississippi State and Tennessee. It was due to the fact that I left out a category – Coach’s Hot Seat. Therefore, I give both the Bulldogs of State and the Vols of Tennessee the Coach’s Hot Seat Award.

From Waco we have a beginning shot.

And an ending shot. With Halloween in a few weeks, I am awarding the Baylor Bears The Thriller Award for Double OT and a win against Tortilla Tech. Did you realize when Baylor plays Texas Tech it becomes BU/TT or BUTT. Let’s see what you got next week Bears.

I regret I did not get a pic of Sailor Bear helmets, my all time favorite bear. But trust me when I award Best Uniforms to Baylor. Trust me when I award worst to Iowa and Penn State. Was it The Ugly Uniform Bowl?

The LSU Tigers receive The Gumbo Award made with alligators. Great game Tigers. This could be your year in January!

At a fitting end to the awards are The Poopy Undies Awards given for scaring their fans. There were many. Of course, Baylor and TT each receive a trophy. But I awarded a Poopy Undies to the fans of South Carolina and Georgia at half time. At the end of regulation, I gave Georgia The Full Blown Blowout in Your Drawers.

To the South Carolina Gamecocks I award The William Tecumseh Sherman Award, because you marched like Sherman through Georgia from Atlanta to the Sea. WOW.

To Georgia, as you watched the spheroid miss the uprights in the second overtime that would have tied the game and send to a triple OT, you win The Giant Thriller Award.

You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream
But terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze
As horror looks you right between your eyes
You’re paralyzed

‘Cause this is thriller
Thriller night

 

WAY TO GO ASTROS! BTHO those Damn Yankees!

Monday, September 30, 2019 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards – Week Five

Monday, September 30, 2019 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards – Week Five

May I have the statuettes, please? As usual our first category today is Poopy Undies. This award goes to Texas A&M and Baylor for scaring their fans with close games. TAMU 31 Ark 27 and Iowa State 21 Baylor 23

But to Clemson, we have a new award. I am giving the award for a Full Blown Blowout in Your Drawers to the Clemson fans. Clemson 21 unranked North Carolina 20

Songs for Monday for UNC

It had to be two; it had to be two; you wandered down field; scored the touchdown, but couldn’t score two…

To Clemson – A streaming download of The Eagles’ song – There’s a New Kid in Town.

Speaking of the new Number 1 in the polls, Alabama, I am awarding the Crimson Tide The Feral Cat Award. Why? Because Alabama is like feral cat that tortures its opponent by batting it around and playing with it before finally putting it out of its misery. Ole Miss 31 Alabama 59

Miss State 23 Auburn 56 – The Get Well Award goes to Billy the Bulldog of Mississippi State. The bad news – the Bulldogs lost. The good news – Billy the State mascot is OK after the Auburn player ran into him. One should be glad this did not occur with the Texas Aggies; the handler sacrifices his body for Reveille and remember many of the Corps carry swords.

The Weather Delay Award goes to Oklahoma State.

Kansas State 13 Oklahoma State 26

The Fun to Watch Award goes OU. See Jalen run; See Jalen throw; see Jalen and OU win The Big 12 Conference. Oklahoma 55 Tortilla Tech 16

To Arkansas and Nick Starkel, I give the Heartbreak Hotel Award. I hope your arm injury is not serious, Starkel.

To Starkel and Arkansas, to Mond and Texas A&M and to Virginia and Mississippi State players, I give the Heisman Award. No, not the big trophy, but this quote from John Heisman regarding football in the South:

“Gentlemen? This is a prolate spheroid. It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.” John Heisman.

The Ugly Uniform Award this week goes to Wisconsin. Those Throw Back uniforms need to be thrown away. Where did you find them? An Army surplus store that uncovered a box of WWI uniforms? Northwestern 15 Wisconsin 24

Our Exploding Head Coach Award this week goes to Iowa State. You know we can read your lips when you question the officials’ parental heritage, don’t you?

The Best Referee Quote of a Game goes to Cooper Castleberry who was calling the Baylor Iowa State game. On Baylor “False start on every body but the center.”

I am starting a list of All-American, Best Names. My first entry is from Arkansas, Bumper Pool.

Moving on downfield and into the stands…

I asked and we do not think this is one of our relatives.

I am ordering this outfit for all of the old ladies in Section 106 in Reed Arena for basketball season. Remember, Joni and I are the youngest ones in our section. Visualize that in high definition on the big screen.

I wonder if her Mother saw her on TV.

 

Monday, September 23, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Four

Monday, September 23, 2019 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Four

Happy first day of fall. The projected high today in Texas is 93 degrees but feels like 97.

Let’s begin with Poopy Undies for everybody. Why not? Pretend it is one of those participation awards.

My first award today goes to the Ole Miss Rebels. You receive The Dreaded Threaded Incline Plane Award because you got screwed on the goal line against the Hippy Bears of California. Not once, but twice. Ole Miss 20 and Cal 28. Berkley is a long way from Oxford, ain’t it?

The Tide continues to roll even though they have yet to play anybody. So, let’s give Tua and Nick the You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet Award and the Stack the Stats for a Heisman Award.

The Methodist of SMU and the Baptists of Baylor won against their old SWC rivals by winning against the Horn Frogs of TCU and the Owls of Rice? Both the Mustangs and Bears win the For Old Times Sake Award.

LSU stomped the Commodores of Vanderbilt 66-38. The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Vanderbilt. That faded drab gray just made Little Gloria turn over in her grave. Those uniforms looked like they mated with a battleship. They were so ugly, I cannot find any pics on the Internet.

My Wimp Award goes to Auburn.

A tent? Really? It was not hot. It was barely 90 degrees. Did you forget your sunscreen? Did you not remember that the home team – the Aggies’– bench is in shade on the side where the alumni sit and where the money comes from? The visitors always sit on the student side facing the sun with the students standing and yelling behind you.

I award The Texas Aggies the Number Four Award and As Time Goes by Award. For future games, Ags, please try to show up for all FOUR quarters of the game – especially the first one. And do not let time run out. Auburn 28 Aggies 20 I do not want to post this selfie, palm plant face again.

It was great game between THE University of Texas and Oklahoma State. The Horns receive the One State One Win Award. You beat one team of two teams from Louisiana and will beat one of two teams from Oklahoma. Glad you lit the Tower for this one.

Thank you, Carrie Y for taking and thank you, Roomie for sending.

The pic is a bit fuzzy, but then again, so are the Longhorns. Oklahoma State 30 Texas 38

And for The Best Game of the year, so far, the trophy goes to Georgia and Notre Dame!

To the Fighting Irish, let’s sing the Fight Song:

Flop, flop for old Notre Dame

Fall on the ground, pretend you’re in pain;

To try to slow the Bull Dawgs down;

But you couldn’t win the game!!!!

My Confessional Award goes to me and my friend RL.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned,

Hoping that Notre Dame never wins again;

Hail Mary, full of grace

UGA and the Dawgs put you in your place.

RL tends to say, “Coitus ND!” which is much shorter, but I’m not sure that would fly in the confessional booth.

My Exploding Head Coach Award goes to Brian Kelly of Notre Dame.

I am pretty sure, Coach, you need to go to confession for your string of profanities you spewed at the ref.

The Hoover Announcer Award for sucking the most while allegedly calling a football game goes to the Booth Mouths who were in the booth for the Texas A&M and Auburn game. Neuheisel? Was this your first trip east of California in a while? Well, at least he did not sing and play the guitar. Nueheisal? You make me miss Brent Mushburger.

To the officiating crew in Kyle Field on Saturday: You must have missed the day the pass interference was taught. When a 70-year-old woman, who never played a down of football and has nothing to put in a jock strap can call the penalty, then something is wrong. So, to the zebra shirted crew, you win the Helen Keller School of Incompetency Award. Note: same school as refs for Ole Miss and Cal.

And to the end zone.

Kudos again to ESPN for airing another touching tribute to Wendy Anderson, her family and Arkansas State. Ladies! Get those ta-tas squished and checked. You can win this one for Wendy.

Speaking of Arkansas, next week, Aggies have the Bacon Bowl in Arlington.

I AM NOT SITTING BY THE DAMN PIG AGAIN THIS YEAR!

Friday, September 20, 2019 – Snark Day

Friday, September 20, 2019 – Snark Day

The college football Snark is dry and had no effects of Imelda. Actually, I think Bryan received three drops while College State, four miles down Highway 6, received over 2 inches.

With the promise of a nice weekend, it is time to start the conference play. Things are about to get very real. Let us begin to see who is on the gridiron and when.

Tonight, we have the Utah Utes and USC at 8:00 on FS1. Yawn!

Also, at 8:00 we have eye wrenching blue field of Boise State hosting the Air Force. Talk about in the Wild Blue Yonder. It could be a good game, if, your eyes can handle it.

The SEC obviously did something to anger the schedulers and programmers of ESPN. Why? Because here are the 11:00 games. Get the pitchers of Bloody Mary’s and mimosas chilling.

  • Florida and Tennessee on ESPN
  • Cal and Old Miss on ESPNU
  • Alabama and Southern Mississippi on ESPN2
  • LSU and Vanderbilt on SECN
  • Also, Iowa State and UL Monroe play on FS1. Iowa State gunners, please pay attention this week to where the punt receiver is.

None of these games offer great contests of interest, but let’s go Vols, Rebels, Tide and Tigers and I don’t care about the other game.

Meanwhile in the weekend city built on campus I shall be tailgating before the game between Auburn and Texas A&M. These two were formerly known as The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas and The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Alabama.

In this clash of land grants on CBS at 2:30 much will be discovered. Auburn? You have not played any team of quality yet. Aggies? Who the Hell knows what you are going to do.

Just BTHO Auburn and show – We Are For Real! 12th Man will make the difference in this one.

Baylor and Rice – Ah shades of the worse from the old Southwest Conference. I think the Bears will feast on Chinese food with lots of rice. Order your Chinese takeout with fried rice by 6:00 to watch on CBSSN.

And now to the evening! Pace yourself and put fresh batteries in the remote. Both of these are worth watching.

The Cowboys and Steers at 6:30 on ABC as THE University of Texas and Oklahoma State University kickoff in DKR Memorial Stadium. Lots of orange in this one. Let’s go Pistol Pete.

On CBS at 7:00 hosting the Gold Crowned Saints of Notre Dame are the Georgia Bulldogs. I am going with Saint Uga. Bring the Mary beads Irish, you will need them. RL, I shall be waiting for your usual text regarding Notre Dame.

BTHO Auburn!

PS – Happy Birthday, Mama! I know ya’ll are having a good time up there looking down on us!

Friday, September 20, 2019 – Snark Day

Friday, September 20, 2019 – Snark Day

The college football Snark is dry and had no effects of Imelda. Actually, I think Bryan received three drops while College State, four miles down Highway 6, received over 2 inches.

With the promise of a nice weekend, it is time to start the conference play. Things are about to get very real. Let us begin to see who is on the gridiron and when.

Tonight, we the Utah Utes and USC at 8:00 on FS1. Yawn!

Also, at 8:00 we have eye wrenching blue field of Boise State hosting the Air Force. Talk about in the Wild Blue Yonder. It could be a good game, if, your eyes can handle it.

The SEC obviously did something to anger the schedulers and programmers of ESPN. Why? Because here are the 11:00 games. Get the pitchers of Bloody Mary’s and mimosas chilling.

  • Florida and Tennessee on ESPN
  • Cal and Old Miss on ESPNU
  • Alabama and Southern Mississippi on ESPN2
  • LSU and Vanderbilt on SECN
  • Also, Iowa State and UL Monroe play on FS1. Iowa State gunners, please pay attention this week to where the punt receiver is.

None of these games offer great contests of interest, but let’s go Vols, Rebels, Tide and Tigers and I don’t care about the other game.

Corps of Cadets Change Tray. I have two of them. WHOOP!

Meanwhile in the weekend city built on campus I shall be tailgating before the game between Auburn and Texas A&M. These two were formerly known as The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas and The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Alabama.

In this clash of land grants on CBS at 2:30 much will be discovered. Auburn? You have not played any team of quality yet. Aggies? Who the Hell knows what you are going to do. Just BTHO Auburn and show – We Are For Real! 12th Man will make the difference in this one.

Baylor and Rice – Ah shades of the worse from the old Southwest Conference. I think the Bears will feast on Chinese food with lots of rice. Order your Chinese takeout with fried rice by 6:00 to watch on CBSSN.

And now to the evening! Pace yourself and put fresh batteries in the remote. Both of these are worth watching.

The Steers and Cowboys at 6:30 on ABC as THE University of Texas and Oklahoma State University kickoff in DKR Memorial Stadium. Lots of orange in this one. Let’s go Pistol Pete.

On CBS at 7:00 hosting the Gold Domed Saints of Notre Dame are the Georgia Bulldogs. I am going with Saint Uga. Bring the Mary beads Irish, you will need them. RL, I shall be waiting for your usual text regarding Notre Dame.

Go DAWGS! To the Ags –

BTHO Auburn!

HB took this. And people wonder how the family all got to be so funny!

PS – Happy Birthday, Mama! I know ya’ll are having a good time up there looking down on us!

Monday, September 16, 2019 – My Monday after College Football Awards

Monday, September 16, 2019 – My Monday after College Football Awards – Week Three

Week Three of the college football has ended. Cupcake season has ended. The smaller schools are counting their gate receipts and licking their wounds. Week four means we are getting down to business.

Today, the first award goes to the Georgia Bulldogs for Best Sportsmanship and Love Shown at a Football Game. Georgia fans wore pink to honor the Arkansas State coach, Blake Anderson. Coach Anderson lost his wife, Wendy, to breast cancer last month. This was his first game back. Wendy was a Conroe girl whose parents were family friends. In the long run, it is just a football game. Thoughts and prayers to Coach Anderson, the children, her mother, Judy and Arkansas State fans.

But back to the game and awards. All winning schools listed below will receive The Hostess Cupcake Award, while their opponents receive the Thanks for Playing and Increasing the Athletic Budget Award.

The Bulldogs would go to beat the crap out of Arkansas State 55-0. Other cupcake games and the awards go to the following:

TAMU Lamar – 62-3 – I think the Aggies were about to put in Reveille the last two minutes. But, the Aggie offense wins the Hippy Dippy Shakes Award for still looking shaky before SEC opens next week. I don’t care how many points were scored. I could have scored late in the fourth quarter.

Texas Rice 48 – 13 – Speaking of cupcake games, the Award for Best Cupcake Season goes to THE University of Texas. However, the Big 12, Only 10 Conference has taken a turn of interest and some of the traditional cupcakes are showing some beef cake. For example.

Kansas Boston College 48-24 – Yes, you read that correctly. The University of Kansas scored 48 points and beat Boston College IN Boston. It was never even close for a Flutie Hail Mary try. The Jay Hawks win The Toto; We’re Not in Kansas Anymore Award. Coach Les Miles of Kansas has been placed on my Watch List for the Maybe the Grass is Greener on the Other Side Trophy.

Kansas State Mississippi State 31 -24 – Sharing The Toto We’re Not in Kansas Anymore Award is Kansas State. Mississippi State wins The WTH Happened Award?

OU UCLA 48-14 – UCLA wins the Thanks for Playing Award.

LSU Northwestern 65 -14 – Northwestern also wins the Thank for Playing Award.

Alabama SC 47-23 – Bama wins the Raw Hide Rowdy Yates Award Rolling, Rolling Rolling; Watch the Tide a Rolling; Watch the Tide a Rolling; TUA!!!

Auburn Kent State 55-16 – Auburn wins the See You Next Weekend at Tailgate Award. WHOOP!

The Pepto Bismal Upset Award goes The Citadel for their OT victory over Georgia Tech 27-24. The Citadel also receives my classic Poopy Undies for scaring your fan base to go along with it. But good job, Citadel.

Also receiving Poopy Undies Awards are:

Iowa and Iowa State – 18-17 – The Cyclones of Iowa State also win the Watch Where You are Going Award given to a player for running into his own man on a punt causing a fumble and an Iowa recovery and loss of a field goal opportunity for Iowa State.

My first Stupid Announcer Mouth Award of the year goes to the Dudes calling the Texas A&M and Lamar game. Don’t bring your game to Texas if you don’t know our history! Gentlemen, Janis Joplin is from Port Arthur, not Beaumont. Yes, she did a semester at Lamar, but anybody who loves (present tense) Janis knows she WENT to THE University of Texas.

My final award today goes to the Lamar Band. You win The Rude Award for playing when the Texas Aggie Band was playing. Thank goodness it was not during Spirit or War Hymn.

See you on Snarky Friday. Happy Dia de la Independencia!

Friday, September 13, 2019 – The Snark of the Full Moon

Friday, September 13, 2019 – The Snark of the Full Moon

Today is Friday the 13th and tonight promises a full moon and today promises lots of Snark.

Let’s back up to last week. Come on Texas! What’s with the air conditioner in the visitors’ dressing room? There are certain rules that should never be ignored. Not limited to, but including these:

  • Don’t tug on Superman’s cape,
  • Don’t turn down The Queen’s invitation, Meagan and
  • Don’t piss off LSU!

Besides, if the alleged faulty air conditioning in the visitor’s dressing room story is true, what did you expect to accomplish? THEY ARE FROM LOUISIANA! Have you been to Louisiana? It is a mosquito infested SWAMP. It is a very poor state (i.e. no house AC and maybe no indoor plumbing for many.) Napoleon sold it to Thomas Jefferson because the mosquitoes were so big. People in Louisiana don’t care about how hot it is. They only care about how hot their crawfish boil is.

So, even if the air conditioning was working, why did the LSU band have to sit in the nose bleed upper deck, half-way to Round Rock? You can deny until there are pictures. Oh wait, there are pictures. Just Google LSU Band Texas Game.

Don’t be surprised next year when the Longhorn team and band are put up at The Patricia Motel (family joke) and the Longhorn band will be on the upper deck of Death Valley half way to the Louisiana State Capitol. And one more thing. When the LSU band marches in and the sequined girls and flag bearers are carrying those black bags? You better check on Bevo because I have seen Mike the Tiger have lunch!

But moving down the field to Week Three. It is not exactly a cupcake clash with big schools, but it could be a sheet cake and some pretty good games.

Tonight on the ACCN we get to see the surging Kansas Jay Hawks fly Miles, as in Les, to meet up with Boston Colleges. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. One game win is a surge for Kansas.

Then at 8:15 on ESPN we have a clash of the Cougars and lots of red on the field when the Mike Leach Washington State Cougars square off with Dana Holgorson’s Houston Cougars. Eat ‘em up, Shasta!

Let’s start Saturday with the Bloody Mary 11:00 AM games. We find Mississippi State and Kansas State on ESPN. Go Bulldogs.

Opposite on ESPN2 we have more Bulldogs with Uga and the rest of the Georgia Bulldogs hosting Arkansas State.

At 11:00 on the SEC Network, we can see Tennessee trying to stop the erosion of Rocky Top by hosting the Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boys.

The 2:30 time slot on CBS holds great potential for the possibilities of two Exploding Head Coaches Awards when Alabama and South Carolina meet. Saban and Muschamp will be fun to watch. Roll Tide! Note to equipment managers – pack more headsets.

Also at 2:30 on ESPN2 the Cowboys of Oklahoma State are in Tulsa. The Pokes will be playing in memory of Daddy Boone, for T. Boone Pickens, OSU greatest funder. Bet you did not know that T. Boone Pickens played a year of basketball at Texas A&M? His scholarship was not renewed and he went to Oklahoma and would donate enormous amounts of money to Oklahoma State. RIP T. Boone.

Sidebar: KK, I cannot believe your baby shower is at this time slot! You graduated from Oklahoma State. I know! I know! It has to do with Baylor being idle this weekend.

As twilight draws, we find:

Florida and Kentucky kickoff at 6:00 on ESPN. Time to make a beer run.

LSU should have no problem with Northwestern of Natitchoches at 6:30 on the SEC Netwrok. I bet the Northwestern band will decent seats.

At 6:00 on ESPNU the Texas Aggies regroup against Lamar in Kyle Field. I like Lamar. It is an up and coming program who could make one of my college favorites.

The OU offense will shine with Schools of Initials – OU and UCLA at 7:00 on Fox. Go Jalen.

At 7:00 on CBSSN the Eyes of Texas as in THE University of will be upon the Owls of Rice University in the Rice Cake Bowl in Houston. OK, I made up The Rice Cake Bowl. I cannot wait to see what the Marching Owl Band (The MOB) has to say at half-time.

Grab the popcorn, get your beer and let’s kick off Week 3 and of course

BTHO Lamar

Monday, September 09, 2019

Monday, September 09, 2019 – The Monday after College Football Awards Show

Today is 09.09.2019.

Let’s begin as usual with the weekly Poopy Undies Awards. Teams receiving PU Awards for scaring their fans are:

  • Michigan who barely won in OT against Army 24 to 21 and
  • LSU and THE University of Texas at Austin. Both teams and their fans please collect your trophies. Note: this award was made at the end of the third quarter Saturday night.

Alright! Alright! Alright! The award for Best Looking Person on a team’s sideline goes to the Minister of Culture, Matthew McConaughey.

I ask my wonderful SFA college Roomie to send me pic from the game. I really appreciate the picture, but I was hoping for a selfie with Matthew. Maybe next time?

The Sight for Sore Eyes Award goes to Boise State. The Broncos won over Marshall as in We Are, Marshall, Matthew McConaughey movie. But it is that blue field! That ugly blue field. I have heard of Field of Dreams, but IMHO, that is a Field of Nightmares on the cones and rods in my eyeballs!

The Someone’s Gonna Get Hurt Award goes to Jalen, OU and the Boomer Sooners! Plus OU has a guy a running back named Rambo! OU 70 – South Dakota 14.

Two Awards go to The Fighting Texas Aggies. First, we all know the Aggies never lose; they just run out of time. So The Add More Time Award goes to The Aggies with the inscription: Time Needed: 365 more days.

The second award to the Aggies is the Eagles Award when they sing

We can beat around the bushes;
we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin’ lot,
but either way, there’s gonna be a
heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know.
There’ll be a heartache tonight
a heartache tonight I know.

The OMG What a Shot and What a Match Awards go to Rafael Nadal and D Medvedev for US Open Men’s Tennis Finals. Nadal wins in 5 sets and four hours and 50 minutes.

The No 10 Run Rule goes the Houston Astros for their win 21 – Mariners 1..

On a final note – If you love football; love the South; and love history turn to the SEC network on Tuesday nights at 7:00 CST (I think) for Saturdays in the South. I had no idea John Heisman was so influential in the growth of football in the South. Maybe football should give an award named him.