Monthly Archives: March 2019

Wednesday, March 27, 2019 – Notre Dame? Howdy! We Are Back!

Wednesday, March 27, 2019 – Notre Dame? Howdy! We Are Back!

Flashback: March 2018, March Madness, Women’s Sweet 16 Match-up, Texas A&M and Notre Dame

We are headed toward a déjà vu weekend. Last year Texas  A&M lost to Notre Dame by six points in the Sweet 16 round of the NCAA Division I Women’s Basketball Tournament.

This year I have composed a lyric sung to the American folk song “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” that I hope helps this weekend. Feel free to sing along. Even better if you can do an Irish tenor with an Irish accent.

When Irish eyes are blinded

By the Aggies’ maroon and white

You can hear the Twelfth Man yelling

We’ve just begun to fight.


Will Muffet fall off her stillettos

As Carter take charge of the ball?

We shall see you in Chicago

The Aggies are coming to call!


When Aggie hearts are happy

All the world sings Hullabaloo,

For when Aggie hearts are happy

We are WHOOPING it up for you!

Whoop Barn – Highway 6 north – Photo by me.

BTHO Notre Dame!!!

Monday, March 25, 2019 – Chicago Bound – Bring on the Irish

Monday, March 25, 2019 – Chicago Bound – Bring on the Irish

Here’s to the Fighting Texas Aggie Women’s basketball team!! Headed to the Sweet 16 of the NCAA Tournament for the second straight year and seventh time overall. WHOOP!

Yesterday’s game with Marquette was indeed a nail biter. Great teams, great coaching, great game and great fans. A classic game. A rare Monday Basketball Award – Poopy Undies for All!Assuming that Notre Dame defeats Michigan State tonight, the Aggies will meet the Irish in the Sweet 16 Round in Chicago. This is exactly where the Aggies were this time last year. The Aggies lost by six points to Muffet’s Mob. ND, would go on to win the National Championship.

The good news is that both teams are a year older and more experienced. The bad news is that both teams are a year older and more experienced.


BTHO ND! Come on, Spartans!

Wednesday, March 20, 2019 – Poems of Spring

Wednesday, March 20, 2019 – Poems of Spring

Happy first day of spring to us all. To celebrate let’s write some poetic words of the season.

Let us open our books to Chapter One – How to Write a Poem of Spring.

  • When writing a poem of spring, select something that makes the season special.
  • Make it sound old. Use words that no one uses any more in ordinary language. For example, use words like “hark” or “Ye pilgrim.”
  • Always put a “th” after verbs.
  • Make it sound biblical, religious or spiritual. Use words like thee and thou.
  • Make it mysterious. Write about something few people even know what you are writing about and even fewer care.

Here is an example of spring poem utilizing all of the above suggestions.

Oh Ye Pilgrim Baller

Hark! My bracket doth already bursteth

Because I picketh Prairie View A&M,

Hence, I have selecteth the upset

And picketh the Spartans to win!

If you insist on writing about flowers, try this one.

Use Care in Where Thou Butt Doth Go

Doth not sit thou buttocks in bluebonnets

A rattler awaits thy nether region,

Hasten thy run through the fire ants for fun

To celebrate the spring season.

You have the rest of the class time to work on your spring poems.

The picture of Her Cuteness on a rabbit has nothing to do with the post. I just thought it was funny. Yes, that is Papa Ned.


Tuesday, March 19, 2019 – Monday, Monday. Can’t Trust that Day

Tuesday, March 19, 2019 – Monday, Monday. Can’t Trust that Day

Here’s what I’m thinking about yesterday.

Every party needs a pooper that’s why we invited you, ESPN U Suck! ESPN U Suck!

In case you missed it or do not follow sporting events, ESPNU of the ESPN family released the NCAA Division I Women’s basketball bracket on TV two hours before its scheduled time. The announcement parties on campuses were scheduled for six o’clock central standard time. The announcement on TV was at four. It was like unwrapping your Christmas present to see what it was two hours before it was time and then trying to act surprised during the actual Christmas tree. ESPNU took away the element of surprise.

While this may not seem to be at the top of the world falling apart events, it was disappointing to all teams, coaches and fans. Your premature bracket release meant that teams were denied the opportunity to be with their fans when their team’s names were called. This is special to fans and teams. Teams that have never been to the tournament were denied the opportunity to be recognized.

Because of your blunder, the program at six o’clock was pieced together (and you could tell it was). You never even showed the teams from the Chicago Region where Texas A&M is the number 4 seed. Wait, you seemed to have enough footage of Notre Dame and Muffet McGraw.

I hope the persons responsible received a good ass chewing and perhaps the opportunity to seek employment elsewhere. This was a major SNAFU for women’s’ sports. Party pooper ESPNU! RL, I hope this was not your brother.

In other news I had an appointment to see an orthopedic doctor yesterday for my knee. It, like the rest of me, is 70 years old and falling apart. I am sure you know the feeling.

But while waiting for the doctor I had plenty of time read this sign on the wall.

I found three errors. Maybe the Grammarians will find others.

Even though the sign does seem to suggest I am their only patient, it did not inspire confidence in my experience at the doctor’s office,  Neither did the doctor when he said “orthoscopic surgery is the first step to a knee replacement.” I replied “Not on this knee. Thank you for the cortisone shot. I’ll get back to you. Good-bye.”

Since all things come in threes, I returned home to find a jury summons in my mail box. Monday, Monday. Can’t trust that day.

But today is Tuesday. The sun is shining. So make today a good one.

Peace out.

Monday, March 11, 2019 – Urban Ax Throwing

Monday, March 11, 2019 – Urban Ax Throwing

I actually watched an urban ax throwing contest on ESPN2. I am pretty certain I now know more about ax throwing than you do. I am also pretty certain this is way more about ax throwing than you want to know.

I cannot wait for this to become an Olympic sport. What a fun way to settle world differences?

I am thinking this sport could rival corn hole. Just think of the tailgate opportunities at football games to throw axes at a board. What a fun way to celebrate Texas OU weekend, A&M/LSU Thanksgiving or Alabama playing anybody on Saturday. It would be great rival football weekends with fans throwing axes at each other.

There is a World Ax Throwing League with a governing board and everything.

I found this YouTube and I noticed that ax throwing in bars in very trendy.

The video is from New York City and the narrator actually discusses beer and sharp objects in the same environment. He goes on to say that after a couple of beers it will help you throw the ax. In a bar after a couple of beers, you probably should not give a person an ax. But in Texas you certainly do not want to try to take it away from them either. They might likely shoot you.

One of the women in the video states that ax throwing is a great stress relief. I bet it would relieve stress if you imagined someone as the target. Who can forget Johnny Carson and Ed Ames on The Tonight Show?

Get you Ax together and start tossing.

Friday, March 8, 2019 – International Women’s Day

Friday, March 8, 2019 – International Women’s Day

Here’s to every Bad Ass women on earth!

And especially to the Fighting Texas Aggie Women’s basketball team as the play their first game in the SEC Tournament tonight.

Yell it with me, Tide!  BTHO Auburn

Now, sing along Sisters and celebrate with these two Bad Ass Women!

Aretha Franklin and Anne Lennox

Wednesday, March 06, 2019 – 3/6/36

Wednesday, March 06, 2019 – 3/6/36

Brian Burns


Tuesday, March 5, 2019 – Fat Tuesday – Laissez le bon temps rouler

Tuesday, March 5, 2019 – Fat Tuesday – Laissez le bon temps rouler

It is Mardi Gras Ya’ll. Let the Good Times Roll!

Throw me some beads!

If you are raising your shirt to get some cheap plastic beads you can buy at the party store place, you better have a couple of hurricanes from Pat O’Brian’s inside you. It is cold outside!

Mardi Gras is French for “Fat Tuesday” — meaning it is the last opportunity to eat rich food before the fast of Lent begins. It is related to celebrations elsewhere, called “carnivals,” from the Latin words carne and vale,“meat” and “farewell,” meaning a farewell to meat before the abstinence of Lent.

Peace, Love and Gumbo

Monday, March 4, 2019 – Its National Grammer Day

Monday, March 4, 2019 – Its National Grammer Day

WOW; Wondering today if your going to like todays’ post. Today its national grammer day It’s the day to respectfully honor the infinatives that split, the gerunds that end in ‘ings’, and the participles that dangle. Their is going to be a lot to write about to.

Designated in 2008, the National Grammar Day was established by Martha Brockenbrough author of “Things that Make us [Sic]” (2008) and founder of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar.

So Happy Grammar Day!

Here’s to the nine common parts of speech. They are are nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions and interjections.

Here’s to the three sometimes parts of speech. They are numeral, article, or determiner.

Here’s to the 14 punctuation marks. They are the period, question mark, exclamation point, comma, semicolon, colon, dash, hyphen, parentheses, brackets, braces, apostrophes, quotation marks, and ellipsis.

Here’s to the great high school English and grammar teachers and college professors who taught us grammar.

Here’s to the specialists and the word nerds who know the ways, means and reasons why of grammar, syntax and linguistics.

Your assignment. Write at least three sentences using each part of speech at least once. For extra credit, write a paragraph using at least seven of the punctuation marks. For each additional correct use of parentheses, apostrophes and quotation marks, you get one point extra. For each correct use of brackets, braces and ellipsis you get five extra points. Does everyone understand? I’ll wait…

After you have finished, diagram each of your sentences.

By now. Let’s eat kids!