Category Archives: humor

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

Friday, November 22, 2019 – Snarky Friday – Week 13 College Football

There has just been too much snark this week. Therefore, The Snark is out to reduce Snark Pollution and will only address a few games. Besides, my online class at The University of Legargy begins soon.

Penn State at Ohio State – 11:00 on Fox. For those you care. For the rest of us, it is a good time to run Saturday errands.

The only reason I include The War of the Catholics of Boston College and Notre Dame is for my weekly text from RL. It cheers me up. Oh, the game is on the Notre Dame Network (NBC) at 1:30. Plenty of time to make Saturday evening mass.

The rest of the times and stations appear to have cupcake games. These include: W. Carolina and Alabama, Samford (not STANFORD) at Auburn and LSU and Arkansas.

Therefore there are only two games of significance. And at the same scheduled time. Ugly face emoticon.

THE University of Texas at Baylor – 2:30 on FS1 in The Battle for I-35. Waco is only two hours north of Austin. I hope the Horns left early this morning. Given I-35 construction and traffic, the buses may arrive by game time tomorrow.

To the Bears! – Remember there are FOUR QUARTERS in the game. You have to play all of them. Sic ‘Em Bears. Pour that Baptist Holy Water in the Brazos.

Texas A&M at The University of Georgia – 2:30 CBS “between the hedges” in Sanford (Again, NOT STANFORD) Stadium. This promises to be heartbreaker for the team whose mascot is a canine. Let’s hope it is the team with the collie whose name begins with R that does the heart breaking.

Oh Snark. Aggies on CBS with Gary Danielson! Remember last week he laughed at and made fun of the female photographer who was knocked unconscious and carted off the field by stretcher. To shut Gary up, find a radio station with the Aggie/Georgia Game, mute the TV and enjoy the game. Or watch the TU and BU game.

BTHO Georgia!

Wednesday, November 20, 2019 – Some Mid Week Exercises

Wednesday, November 20, 2019 – Some Mid Week Exercises

OK – Let’s get up off that couch, put on our sports bra (or whatever items of support your gender requires), our tank top, our favorite shorts and our expensive running shoes and let’s do some exercises. Ready?

  1. Stand up tall with feet apart.
  2. Bend over and pick up a five pound potato sack.
  3. Hold it over your head as long as you can.
  4. Set it back down.
  5. Repeat three times.

EXCELLENT! FANTASTIC!

Now let’s up our exercise.

  1. Stand up tall with feet apart.
  2. Bend over and pick up a ten pound potato sack.
  3. Hold it over your head as long as you can.
  4. Set it back down.
  5. Repeat three times.

OH MY GOODNESS! YOU ARE GREAT!

Now, this time, let’s put the potatoes in the sacks and try again.

Friday, November 15, 2019 – The Return of the Snark

Friday, November 15, 2019 – The Return of the Snark

This is for the three of you of missed me. I apologize. I was taking an online course from The University of Legarthy. FYI – I made an A.

We are now at the point in the season of college football where each snap matters. Every touch of the football is critical. Each down is the “big play.” As I always state, this is about teams I like or teams that play teams I like. If you follow, Penn State, Michigan, Michigan State and/or Ohio State, find somebody who likes your teams.

So, this weekend, here is who I like and what I am thinking about each.

Alabama at Mississippi State at 11:00 on ESPN. See what happens when you lose a game. You get the awful 11:00 time slot. The cow bells are especially annoying at this hour.

Navy at ND 1:30 on NBC. Anchors Away! And take the weird leprechaun with you. RL, I shall await your weekly ND text.

THE University of Texas at Iowa State 2:30 on FS1. Even though Baylor students and faculty are turning the Brazos River into Holy Water for this weekend, do not look ahead. Else Bevo will be the cow in the Twister movie. The Cyclones are unpredictable.

Georgia and Auburn 2:30 on CBS. This is a keep the remote handy game with conference and bowl implications. The Snark crystal Bball says Georgia will be upset before the end of the season.

LSU and Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN. Sweet memories of the Halloween Game of days gone by. Miss you Cousin Donnie Daye. And Cousin Penny too. Geaux Tigers!

Oklahoma at Baylor 6:30 on ABC. As mentioned, the Brazos River that runs by McLane Stadium is being filled with holy water in an effort to keep Baylor undefeated.  It is not like there have not been miracles on the Brazos in previous years.

ESPN Game Day will be broadcast from Waco. HWIT. This is a biggie. It is a huge game with Big 12 Conference titles and bowl game selections on line.

Fans are expected to start camping out around the stadium around 4:00 pm TODAY! The Home Depot Campus Cornhole Challenge is from 1:-30-3:30. I can’t wait until Cornhole becomes an NCAA sport.

The Snark’s crystal ball says Chip and Joanna will be guest pickers with food coming from their Magnolia Diner. The Magnolia Diner is where the original Elite on the Circle café was. If you have been to Waco and gone around “the circle” a few times, you know what I am talking about. I even have a button that says “I survived The Elite Circle.” Watch out Bears, you could get stuck in “the circle.”

With the remote firmly in hand to keep up with Baylor, naturally I shall be watching:

South Carolina at Texas A&M 6:30 on SECN. This is the last home game before Jimbo and the Ags go on the road again to Athens and Baton Rouge to close out the season.

The A&M fans will “pass it back” and will join the South Carolina fans by holding up three fingers in the third quarter to honor the life of Tyler Hilinski. Tyler is the late brother of South Carolina quarterback Ryan Hilinski. Tyler was also a Division I quarterback at Washington State. Tyler took his own life in January 2018. The family’s organization of Hilinski’s Hope calls attention to mental illness among athletes.

However, at the end of the Fourth Quarter the Aggies will

BTHO out of South Carolina. Gig ‘Em Aggies!

Tuesday, November 12, 2019 – Where Have You Gone, Joe Dimaggio?

Tuesday, November 12, 2019 – Where Have You Gone, Joe Dimaggio?

I know. I have not been to writing or thinking of anything lately. I actually had the old-fashioned croup! I started a new medicine a couple of weeks ago – eye drops of all things. It was last night as I was reading the “side effects may include” on the enclosed sheet of my new medicine that I read “may cause upper respiratory infections.” I suppose I should have read the possible side effects first. Anyhoo – I am no longer a cold medicine zombie.

I belong to one of those neighborhood apps. People post all kinds of things – lost pets, found pets, items for sale, suspicious crime activity (my fav), and requests for many items. Here is one from last week. Let’s hear it for autocorrect and proof reading.

Any spare demon jackets?

Hi there close and near by neighbors. I am currently trying to pick up a new hobby and it requires denim jackets. I am seeking used and old jackets. I’ve gone to thrift stores and resale shops but can’t find much. I don’t need to find brand new conditioned… I’ll accept old and used and any color.

Thank goodness the requestor clarified in the request. She did correct and update the post later.

I do not have any spare demon jackets. Heck, I do not even own a denim jacket. Stay warm.

Big Boy Steam Engine coming down the track in Navasota, Texas. November 8, 2019

 

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 21, 2019 – My Friday After Saturday College Football Awards

We can beat around the bushes; we can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parkin’ lot, but either way
There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, a heartache tonight I know

And was there ever a heartache for many teams this weekend.

Please form a line to the left because all teams are receiving a Poopy Undies Awards. Ugly games; Ugly wins; Ugly losses; ugly plays; ugly uniforms and ugly weather.

But the Grand Poopy Awards go to The University of Wisconsin for the last minute loss to Illinois. I would like to present the Fighting Illini, whatever an Illini is, The Colonel Henry Blake Award. It just proves that a team wearing ugly uniforms can win. Who caught the Henry Blake Award? Wisconsin 23 Illinois 24

The riders of the Sooner Schooner receive a Glad You Are OK Award. Watch out for those sharp turns. According to my sources, the last Schooner flip was in 1993 and something about the girl wearing no underwear. I was unaware that people from Oklahoma wore underwear at all. Meanwhile Jalen & Company’s OU wagons continue to roll merrily along. OU 52 – West Virginia 14

Receiving the Blowout in Your Drawers Awards are Missouri and THE University of Texas. Mr. Commodore upset Mr. Tiger if someone cares Vandy 20 – Missouri 14.

And Big Jay of the Kansas Jayhawks scared the cow poop out of Bevo. Kansas! Kansas scored 48 points. Kansas didn’t score 48 points in all of their last five games combined last year. I give the Ghosts of Football Past to the Texas defensive unit. Kansas 48 Texas 50.

If the Horns did not have Elinger, they would be number three in the Big 12. Oh wait, they are number three. And any team left can beat you, including the Bears of Baylor and you have to travel to Ames too. When was the last time Baylor was ranked ahead of the Horns in both the conference and the AP Polls? And the Bears put Holy Water in the Brazos on home game days, I am told.

The Bears of Baylor receive the John Deere Green Helmets Award for cool headwear. The Bears did spoil Oklahoma State’s Homecoming 47 to 27.

The Ain’t No Jalen or Sunshine When He’s Gone Award goes to Alabama for the loss of Tua. But the Tide still rolls 35 to 13 over Tennessee. Get well, Tua.

The Texas Aggies receive the Butt Ugly Award for a very ugly win in Oxford against Ole Miss. Where does fog originate in Oxford, Mississippi? TAMU 24 – Ole Miss 17

Speaking of butts, the best play of any football game this weekend goes to QB Joe Burrows of LSU and Mississippi State. Let’s all sing in Heisman award-winning harmony:

We saw your hiney; it was bright and shiney

It made us giggle when you wiggled.

Therefore, Joe and the LSU Tigers receive the Moon Over Mississippi State Award! Did you notice that Mr. Burrows showed his true, Southern gentlemanly character? He first took care of the football and then tried to pull up his pants. One must like a man that has his football priorities in order.

https://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/sports/lsu/article_02829f9c-f2d9-11e9-b093-eb0c8798d2cc.html

LSU 36 Mississippi State 13

The worse, as in You Suck and SHAME ON YOU Award, goes to CBS for the broadcasting the incident in slow motion! Did Nessler and Danielson call this game? I am with the Baton Rouge Advocate – apologize to LSU and the rest of us for your lack of taste and poor announcing.

Of course the best play of the weekend was:

“Hello, I am Jose Altuve.” BOOM!

ASTROS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!

Good bye, Hut’s. So sad to see you go.

Friday, October 17, 2019 – A Snarky Friday Drinking Game

Friday, October 17, 2019 – A Snarky Friday Drinking Game

Are you ready?

Hell Yeah. Damn right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty

Who the Hell are we?

Bim Bam Flim Flam

Ole Miss by damn.

Since Texas A&M is travelling to Oxford to play the Ole Miss, today we snark with a toddy drinking game. Grab your favorite beverage and play along. For each incorrect answer, you must take a shot.

What is the name of the mascot for each college football team listed below?

Let us begin with a few easy ones. For example:

          Texas A&M – Reveille

          THE University of Texas – Bevo

Remember. Name the mascot; not the team.

  • Alabama – Big Al. It is the name of the anthropomorphic (dressed up college student) elephant. The homecoming queen used to ride in on an elephant. Some traditions need to be brought back. Drink up.
  • Georgia – UGA the bulldog. A very cool, live mascot, but drools.
  • LSU – Mike, the Tiger. How could you not know this? One of the most beautiful live mascots in football.
  • Mississippi State – Bully the bulldog. Very cool live mascot. Does he wear a cowbell around his neck?

LSU at Mississippi State at 2:30 on CBS.

  • Arkansas – Tusk. Big ugly, black hog.
  • Auburn – Aubie the Tiger. Anthropomorphic, fake Tiger. Aubie? What is the war eagle’s name? AubieBird? You didn’t know either one of those. Drink!

Auburn at Arkansas 11:00 SEC

  • Florida – Albert and Alberta Gator. Drink up. I know you did not know this one. I think they should be Mr. and Mrs. Choppers. Albert and Alberta are kinda cute anthropomorphic critters if you are into mascots that can kill you.

Florida at South Carolina at 11:00 on ESPN

Think you are doing well? Let’s move on. Hic!

  • Ole Miss – Tony the Land Shark. Drink up. You know you said Rebels. Tony the Land Shark became the Ole Miss mascot in August of 2018. It has to do with a former Ole Miss player who was an Iraqi veteran. I have no idea why it is a shark, especially since Oxford is almost in Tennessee.

Texas A&M at Ole Miss at 6:30 on SEC.

  • Tennessee – Smokey. A coon hound, but I’m sure he Volunteers for the honor.

Tennessee at Alabama 8:00 ESPN.

  •  Vanderbilt – Mr. Commodore. Really? Just Mr. Commodore? Not even Cornelius or Gloria? Maybe Stingy Railroad Tycoon was already taken.

 

  • Baylor – Judge Joy and Judge Lady. Did you know that in 1914 the choice of mascots was between “Bears” and “Bookworms? “In 1974, the student body voted to name all the bears “Judge” followed by a surname in honor of the university’s namesake, Judge R.E.B. Baylor. Baylor’s current mascots are “Joy,” named in honor of the wife of President Emeritus (and former Chancellor) Herbert H. Reynolds, and the newest mascot, “Lady” named after Sue Sloan, wife of then-President Dr. Robert B. Sloan Jr.
  • Oklahoma State –Pistol Pete. But did you know that Bullet is the name of the black quarter horse ridden prior to OSU home games?

Oklahoma State and Baylor 3:00 on Fox

  • Kansas – Big Jay. Sounds like a rapper.

Kansas at THE University of Texas at 6:00 on LHN.

  • OU – Boomer and Sooner. I think they are anthropomorphic horses.

OU and WVa at 11:00 on Fox

  • SMU – Peruna. Not a fake horse. The horse was named after a popular patent medicine made up of 18 % alcohol.
  • Texas Tech – The Masked Rider. I really think Tech should rethink the mascot thing. Red Raider, Masked Rider with Guns Up is a no. The Texas Tech Flying Tortillas has potential.
  • Ohio State – Brutus Buckey. But if you said Pot Leaves Helmet, at this point in the game, we’ll take it. Drink.
  • And last and least – Notre Dame – Leprechaun. Leprechaun? Saints preserve us. No name. Not even a Mr. Leprechaun? Not even a Saint Patrick? Or a Muffet? Just Leprechaun? If ND is the Fighting Irish, I think the mascot should be named the IRA or Sinn Fein. Just saying.

RL? Did you know those gold, faux halo helmets of ND are really painted with gold? 23/9 karat gold flake in the paint of every helmet. Sounds flakey to me.

How many drinks did you take? Can you say anthropomorphic?

BTHO OLE MISS

GO ASTROS! BRING IT!

 

Thursday, October 17, 2019 – Howdy! It Is Take Your Bird to Work Day

Thursday, October 17, 2019 – Howdy! It is Take Your Bird to Work Day.

Or it was.

Last fall, employees in a Texas A&M University System office space were alerted that three parakeets had been placed in the building’s light-filled atrium, and that more were on the way.

They were to be greeted warmly: “The first word we would like to teach them is ‘HOWDY!'” an employee for Chancellor John Sharp wrote in an October 2018 email. “Please help them learn by addressing them this way when you see them.”

The birds were the brainchild of Sharp, who thought they might provide a relaxing distraction for employees, similar to how some companies host bring-your-dog-to-work days. He returned from lunch one day with several parakeets he’d picked up at a pet store, according to Copelin, and let them loose.

It did not go well. Click on the link and read the emails from the employees. Let me know when you stop laughing.

https://www.theeagle.com/news/texas/texas-a-m-system-employees-were-asked-to-teach-office/article_9c4cce0e-04b0-5362-86e6-112483d25a1e.html

Mooving on, we learn that according to Chancellor Sharp, the cows at Tarleton State University, a great school in the Texas A&M System, will be wearing Fitbits. Click below to see the cows in their fashionable fitbits.

Fitbits for cows: A&M researcher milks new technology for higher yields, happier cows

Here’s what I’m thinking. I bet Chancellor Sharp was thinking aviary, a bird sanctuary, rather than atrium, which a large open area with a skylight. I wonder if Chancellor Sharp has thought of putting cows in the atrium.

Hawk in the backyard. Photo by me.

Friday, October 11 – A Snarky Friday Musical – College Football – Week Seven

Friday, October 11 – A Snarky Friday Musical – College Football Week Seven

But first, the Football Snark would like to begin with a Big Green and Gold Snark to Baylor and to the idiots who voted Baylor ahead of The Texas Aggies in the top 25. I do not care if you are 5 and 0. Play Clemson, Alabama, Georgia and LSU and then we’ll talk RPI. Oh well, the Aggies don’t have to play Oklahoma or THE University of Texas. Nevertheless, I do hope the Bears open a big can of Brazos River Whoop Ass on Tortilla Tech.

There are only a three games worth watching this Saturday, but each one has critical consequences for conference championships, bowl games and individual honors. Fortunately, the TV Gods and Goddesses of college football programming ensured that we can watch them all one right after another.

First at 11:00 am we have the Red River Rivalry between Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas on Fox. The Horns and the Sooner Fans will be rushing to The Cotton Bowl. Of course, if you know where The Cotton Bowl Stadium is located in Dallas, one knows you do not want to spend a great deal of time without rushing along in the Hood.

So put that Sooner Schooner hat on, get your honey lamb and I and sing along with our first musical number celebrating the game as the winds comes whipping down the plains for…

…We know we belong to the land!
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say, yeeow-a-yip-i-o-ee ay!
We’re only sayin’ You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma, Heisman!

With an encore of …

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,
Boomer Sooner, O-K-U!

At 2:30 on CBS (oh crap, does that mean Gary Danielson will announce? Oh yucky face emoji.) The Fighting Texas Aggies, Home of The 12th Man, guarded by Reveille, The Wonder Woman Collie and fans with memories of Johnny Manziel,  host The Rolling Crimson Tide from Alabama. If you’re going a play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in your band.

So tune up those guitars, banjos and fiddles as the residents of The Brazos Valley welcome the Fans of The Alabama Crimson Tide with this musical number. Hit it, Band!

Oh, I come from Alabama

With a banjo on my knee

I’m going to College Station

The Aggies for to see.

Oh that 12th Man, Oh, don’t you yell on me,

But I will then beat Georgia and win the SEC.

It rained all night the day I left

The weather it was dry,

The sun so hot I frozen myself

But that’s the Texas skies!

Oh that 12th Man, Oh don’t you yell on me

But I’ll take of Auburn, a game we want to see.

I had a dream the other night;

When everything was still,

I dreamed I saw Miss Reveille

She was coming down the hill,

A crimson rose was in her mouth

A tear was in her eye

I said it is the last year, so Rev don’t you cry. 

Wait till next year, when Jimbo takes you down,

But welcome to College Station where Aggies are found.

If those two contests do not have you cussing, singing and screaming at the TV, you still have a chance at 7:00 on ESPN when the Legends of Steve Spurrier and the Florida Gators invade Death Valley in Baton Rouge to try to chomp the LSU Tigers. Advance warning: The Gators will wear orange helmets, blue jerseys and blue pants. Anyone ever see a blue alligator?

But on to our final musical number. Since I was a small child, I was taught by my Louisiana relatives, NEVER PULL FOR A TEAM FROM FLORIDA! I also could sing this song until I drank the maroon kool-aid.

So let’s hear it for the Girls in Gold and Purple sequins with the mysterious black bags. and the LSU Marching Band – The Golden Band from Tiger Land. GEAUX TIGERS! Note: the bags are filled with gator bait from Bayou Teche.

And I want to see everybody up and doing a high kick routine toward the end.

Horns Down!

BTHO ALABAMA!

GEAUX TIGERS!

https://youtu.be/YZ4e35_hdjE

Friday, October 4, 2019 – Week Six of Snarky Friday

Friday, October 4, 2019 – Week Six of Snarky Friday

Strike up the banjos; it’s the Battle of the Piney Woods! The Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks and the Sam Houston State Bearkats meet at NRG in Houston at 3:00 on Saturday. Even though I hold degrees from both of these schools, I am going with Surfin Stephen and the “Oh futures bright, ‘neath the purple and white…”

But, in an usual Friday Snark, I shall predict the game score using my grade point averages with no periods from both universities. SFA 16 (only my freshman year) and SHSU 40 (all 36 hours).

Moving to TV times, let’s see who drew the dreaded 11:00 time slots.

Oklahoma State and Tortilla Tech at 11:00 on FS1. Breakfast torillas! Oh boy, Cowboys and Cowboys. To not forsake me oh my darling…Go Pistol Pete and watch out for flinging tortillas! I hope it is a safe and happy trip back to Stillwater with Lubbock in your rear view mirror.

Utah State and LSU at 11:00 on SEC. Tigers? These Aggies are not as tough as the ones in Texas. Why are you playing them? They are going to fall out with the Red Stick humidity before half-time

Oklahoma and Kansas at 11:00 on ABC – See Jalen run; see Jalen throw; see Jalen score; see OU in a Boomer Sooner warm up for next weekend. See Kansas look forward to basketball season.

The Bears of Baylor and Wildkats of Kansas State kickoff at 2:30 on ESPN2. The Baptists are really gonna have to pray it up to rise up and Sic ‘Em over Kansas State.

In a game I really don’t care about, we have Bowling Green at Notre Dame on their network, NBC, at 2:30. Now that is a Bowling Green Massacre I would like to see.

At 2:30 on ABC we find THE University of Texas and West Virginia. Get the old couches ready to burn. They probably won’t burn, but this could be a good game. Horns could be looking ahead to The Red River Rivalry.

But the best game of Saturday is Auburn visiting the Swamp of Florida at 2:30 on CBS. Tiger, tiger burning bright, I really don’t care who wins tonight, but Go War Eagles anyway.

The Georgia Bulldogs are in Knoxville to meet Tennessee at 6:00 on ESPN. The erosion of Rocky Top continues and that coaching seat gets hotter.

The Spartans of Michigan State play the pot head stickers from Ohio State at 6:30 ABC – I hope Michigan State wears their Uniform Uglies.

Then of course there are all those games on the west coast.

Looking to Week Seven we find Alabama and Texas A&M. Both The Tide and The Aggies have a bye week this week as they prepare for a clash next Saturday at Kyle Field.

Alabama is using the time by probably having some skull practices, watching films, some light workout practice, maybe will get together to watch a future opponent’s game and perhaps see a movie as a team building exercise. Coach Saban will have time to make some commercials.

Meanwhile, the Aggies are working on a top secret time machine that propels them into the future where they are bigger, stronger and faster, have a true Heisman candidate at QB, a First Team All-American in the backfield, a defense that does not allow scores, and wide-receivers that can actually fly due to new, high tech shoes and cleats.

So far the time machine has been able to travel to the past, to Tuscaloosa, to November 10, 2012, with the scoreboard reading: Texas A&M 29 and Alabama 24 and the quarterback wins The Heisman. Thus far, a projected date in the future when this phenomenon occurs again has not been released.  Who knows?

GO ASTROS!

Friday, September 27, 2019 – Snark – Week Five

Friday, September 27, 2019 – Snark – Week Five

It is a Bob Wills’ weekend because There’s big balls in Cowtown; So let’s all go downtown.

Actually, the only game in Cowtown, also known as Fort Worth, is Kansas at TCU, but Arlington is close enough for Shark Work so let’s start there.

Not only is there football with big balls, it is the opening of the State Fair of Texas in Dallas! So let’s begin with the Bloody Mary Morning, 11:00 games and a breakfast menu.

We have the Texas A&M Aggies and The University of Arkansas pigs at 11:00 on ESPN. I shall have a side of fried bacon, fried sausage, fried ham, fried pork chops and some pork rinds – all presented tastefully on a wooden stick. This could be a two Bloody Mary game. Starkle may sparkle as the One Who Got Away!

Texas Tech at Oklahoma at 11:00 on Fox – I shall also have a deep fried tortilla for Tortilla Tech with a side of fried butter on a stick. I doubt many tortillas will fly at Norman because Jalen is going to Hurt you bad.

Kansas at TCU on FS1 – Jayhawks and Horn Frogs kick off at 11:00. Worth an occasional check.

Heading in to the 2:30 time slot we find the following:

Iowa State Baylor at 2:30 on ESPN – Always interesting and always scary for the Bears. There is something about the Weather Pattern mascot (Cyclones) besides their ugly color combination uniforms that keeps you guessing until time runs out. Sic ‘Em, Bears!

Ole Miss and Alabama at 2:30 on CBS – Hotty Toddy, God Almighty, but not this weekend Rebels. The Tide is just beginning to Roll. Did you know that Nick Saban was playing football at Kent State when the shootings took place? He and his friends decided to go get something to eat and then walk back across campus. They had just left the eating establishment and arrived back on campus shortly after the shootings and became part of the resulting chaos. Had they not gone to lunch first, they would have been in the middle of the entire tragic incident. Source: Saturdays in the South –The History of the SEC on SEC network. Check it out.

Virginia at Notre Dame on the Notre Dame Network, NBC at 2:30. Yes, Virginia, there is a RL and he will text his ND comment. Go Cavaliers!

Towson at Florida at 3:00 on SEC Network – Towson? Blah! Tongue out emoji.

And in the dinner hour or in this case supper hour cause it is the South, ya’ll know, we find:

Mississippi State and Auburn at 6:00 on ESPN – The Bulldog cowbells are ringing as they Dream of Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair. You know like in the hair color – Auburn? We gonna need some Big Solid plays with interceptions and run backs. Sideline bar: Elf, I was very disappointed that the SEC presentation of Saturdays in the South did not show Big Solid’s interception and touchdown return against Joe Namath. Guess Broadway Joe edited that piece out of his bio. Go Bulldogs.

Kansas State at Oklahoma State 6:00 – NO TV! Well, that ain’t right. Must rely on pictures from those attending the game. Make it a good homecoming, ya’ll. Have fun and Go Pokes.

BTHO Arkansas!