Monday, September 17, 2018 – My Monday After College Football Awards
Review: I write about the teams I like and teams that play teams I like.
So On Wisconsin to accept your Poopy Undies Award for losing to BYU 21-24.
The Wisconsin kicker who missed the game tying field goal to go to overtime receives The Hooked Left Award. This comes with a Bless Your Heart Certificate.
Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Tigers of LSU and their fans. Nevertheless, a win over Auburn is worth it.
The Best Kick of the Day goes to the LSU kicker for kicking the game winning field goal with two seconds on the clock. LSU 22-Auburn 21.
It was not close enough for Poopy Undies but I am awarding the Grab Your Beads Award to Notre Dame for allowing Vanderbilt to come close. ND – 22 Vandy 17.
The One Kick Off Wonder Award goes to Ole Miss for their one and only score against Alabama. Tide 62 – Ole Miss 7. Rumors abound that Coach Saban put in the women’s soccer team; the tuba section of the band and two cheerleaders in the fourth quarter.
Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi State all share the We Scored Lots of Points and Win Big Award.
Baylor lost to Duke in what was not even close in The Baptists and Blue Devil Bowl. BU 27 Duke 40. I supposed the Blue Devil thing extends beyond Wake Forest. (See last Friday) It will be ok; Baylor, Kansas is next weekend. What? Kansas scored 55 points against Rutgers? I don’t know if Kansas scored 55 points last season in four games. Rock Chalk Jayhawk could cause some problems in Waco land.
Congrats to THE University of Texas for their win over USC 37 -14. However, I award the Horns The Ugly Uniform Award. Tradition is one thing, but uniforms that look like 1956 are another. They just look old.
Ohio State achieved The Revenge on The Little Sisters of the Poor Award by a 40 to 28 win over TCU. Watch out Texas the Frogs will be spitting mad next weekend. And their uniforms are prettier.
The Best Play of Any Football Game of the Weekend Award goes to University of North Texas for the fake fair catch and then touchdown run. Even if you have seen it, it is still fun to watch. The School Yard Play Award to UNT!
That means Arkansas gets The Our Face is as Red as Our Uniforms Award. Meanwhile the Eagles turned the Arkansas Hogs into a pig sty with a 44 to 17 win.
The Throw Back to Last Year Award goes to the Texas Aggies. You looked like last year’s Aggies. This will not play well in Tuscaloosa next weekend. However, let us not forget the Aggies had FOUR touchdowns recalled. The score ended 48 to 10 over University Louisiana Monroe.
My last award of the day goes to the two mouths talking in the SEC announcer booth for the Aggies and Monroe game. Quite simply – YOU BOTH SUCK! You are supposed to call the football game. Instead you spent the entire fourth quarter talking:
- Over the referee’s calls
- While players are injured on the field
- About personal stories of people and things nobody knows or cares about
- Your impressions of all the Aggie and Warhawk football players you met during the week
With each play, instead of calling the play, you both gave your biased analysis of how that play or that player will do against Alabama next week. Granted, I do not know Coach Nick Saban. But here’s what I’m thinking. If Coach Saban wanted or needed your opinions, he would have already asked you and you would not be sitting in an announcing both doing a crappy job.