Friday, September 16, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football
Let’s begin with last evening’s tryouts for the Big 12 Conference. Our contest was between the University of Houston and WKRP in Cincinnati. I vote no to Cincinnati. While those really creepy black masks will go very well in parts of Texas and especially in Lubbock, are Cincinnati and the state of Ohio aware that Texas is an open carry state for handguns? Wearing masks is frowned up and tends to lead to unwanted unpleasantries in states where we are packing heat.
My second reason to vote no were those migraine causing flapping black and white tube things. This is equal to the obnoxious cowbells from Mississippi State and the seizure causing blue football field of Boise State. UH Cougars 40 WKRP Cincinnati Bearkats 16, but much closer than the score indicates.
Tonight we shall be treated to an old Southwest Conference rivalry – Baylor and Rice at Rice Stadium @ 7:00 on ESPN. Beware of the MOB, Bears. You have lots of garbage of which the Marching Owl Band can make fun.
# 1 Alabama and # 19 Ole Miss 2:30 CBS – The Tide Rolls into The Grove in Oxford. This could prove to be a game requiring multiple toddies. Coach Sabin does not want to lose for a third time to the Rebels. John and BJ and Lisa and Ric and Hopper, please know virtual CPR and breathing exercises are available via texts. I shall expect the same at 6:00 against Auburn. Roll Tide.
What programming idiots scheduled these games at the same time? I will have carpel thumb syndrome from the remote. Set those TIVOs to record.
Texas A&M and Auburn at 6:00 ESPN at Auburn. Aubie is the official tiger mascot of Auburn University. According to Wikipedia “Aubie is an anthropomorphic tiger.” Reveille IX is the mascot of Texas A&M. Reveille is a real collie. 
I don’t know what anthropomorphic means other than it sounds like Aubie can’t go to the bathroom in North Carolina. BTHO Auburn.
Mississippi State and LSU at 6:30 on ESPN2 in Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge. This could be a For Whom the Cow Bells Toll. I am thinking the Tigers better bring their A game. Otherwise those obnoxious cowbells will be running Miles down the road.
Ohio State and OU 6:30 Fox – Lots of red, white and grey for this one. And that is just the wine list and vodka suggestion. Seeds and Sooners in Norman.
Michigan State and Notre Dame at 6:30 on the Notre Dame Network, NBC. I shall anxiously await your texts, Mr. RL. Go Spartans!
USC and #7 Stanford at 7 on ABC. Trojans versus Cardinal. Big rivalry at stake in the Pac 12. I am going with the brainiacs.
THE University of Texas and California Berkley at 9:30 on ESPN. Bevo and the Bears. Still courting the PAC 12, Texas? Hook ‘Em Hippies! 
BTHO Auburn.
Here's What I'm Thinking 