Tag Archives: Ole Miss

Friday, September 29, 2023 – Snarky Football Friday – Week Five

Posted on September 29, 2023 | 1 comment

Friday, September 29, 2023 – Snarky Football Friday – Week Five

Who knows what evil lurks on Saturday? The Shadow knows.

That is good, but I certainly do not know what is going to happen. This is “Anything can Happen” weekend.

It is already a terrible year for quarterbacks. Tortilla Tech, NY Jets, and Texas A&M have all lost their starting quarterback to leg injuries. I do wish speedy recoveries for all. But they did have more plays than Lincoln did.

Snarkin on…with the games I’ll be watching.

The morning glory games.

Bacon in the morning for 11:00 on SECN – Texas A&M and Arkansas from Jerry World in Dallas. The Aggies do have the Max Factor now. But the Hogs are always dangerous. Besides they wear red plastic pig hats on their heads and marry their cousins.

Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam; and the Heisman winner don’t play… USC at Colorado at 11:00 on Fox. HWIT. I think the honeymoon is over for the Prime. I don’t think it will matter how many rappers are in attendance.

The afternoon.

Baylor and UCF at 2:30 on FS1. I think the golden part will be the Golden Knights instead of the Green and Gold Bears. The Baylor Line ain’t so good this year. Note: Do not refer to UCF as Central Florida. They want to be called UCF. Probably something to do with the Florida education system. UCF has fewer letters to remember and makes for cheaper tattoos.

Houston at Texas Tech at 2:30 FS2 – Two of the three of my least favorite teams. But go Cougars! Watch out for flying frozen tortillas.

THE GAME at 2:30 is between Kansas at THE UNIVERSITY of Texas on ABC. What is going on in college football? Kansas comes to Austin undefeated to play the undefeated Longhorns. Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk. Let me say this again. No Arch! You T-Shirt wearers should know that Sark is saving him for the SEC! So let the women’s soccer team play before putting the Arch in the game.

Speaking of undefeated… Missouri and Vanderbilt at 3:00 SECN – Excuse me? Missouri? Mizzu can be undefeated at 5 and 0? Well, you are the Show Me State so show it to me.

Kicking off the evening is the Halloween game between LSU and Ole Miss at 5:00 on ESPN. Roll that Billy Cannon video. GEAUX TIGERS! Do it in memory of Billy and my cousin Donnie who threw the block that sprung Billy down the side line. This could be a nail biter.

8:00 Alabama and Mississippi State on ESPN – The Big Solid Interception Game!!! Roll that video. Go Dogs! Miss you, Mike. Alabama? Will you be bringing a quarterback?

Notre Dame (Other school in least favorite) is at Duke on ABC at 6:30. When did Duke start playing football? Let’s hope this Tobacco Road leads to a victory with No Bull in Durham. And the president of Duke is Vincent Price. Not the House of Wax VP, but still pretty cool. Game Day is in Durham and the guest picker is Leslie Chow from The Hangover movie. Ken Jeong graduated from Duke. For his entrance, I hope he reprises his role as Leslie Chow and jumps naked out of the trunk of a car. May the always creepy leprechaun be burned by the Blue Devil.

Get those Big Solid Swear Jars ready. Quarters will fly on Saturday.

Stay safe. Be kind to animals and people.

BTHO ARKANSAS

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Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, humor, Ken Jeong, LSU, Mississippi State, Notre Dame, Ole Miss, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Friday, September 22, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Four

Posted on September 22, 2023 | 1 comment

Friday, September 22, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Four

It is the first day of fall and the temperature in Texas is 101.

This week in football we find out who is real and who is Memorex. You got to be old to understand that metaphor. If you do not know what it means, Google it. For most teams, conference plays begins. No more cupcake teams.

But there is football morning, afternoon and night. Here are the teams I shall be watching.

At 11:00 we have:

Auburn at Texas A&M University on ESPN.

SEC Nation is in town. I shall not be in the pit at 5:30 am with my sign. In the battle of the land grant flagships, I dream of Jeannie with the light Auburn hair. More war birds! Auburn comes to Kyle Field undefeated. However, the Tigers have played the University of Massachusetts, California, and Samford. Mimosas and bloody Mary’s for everybody. Note to self: Get Big Solid Swear Jar ready. TAMU? Please bring a defense!

Oklahoma visits WKRP in Cincinnati. On Fox. The Bearkats meet the Sooners for their first Big 12 play. Good luck with that Bearkats!

Florida State and Clemson on ABC. – I really do not care, but it seems that Dabo’s coaching seat is a bit warm.

The afternoon – Grab your swear jar, the oxygen tanks and some clean underwear.

Ole Miss at Alabama 2:30 on CBS

“A horse, a horse – my kingdom for a horse.” Richard III – Shakespeare

“A quarterback, a quarterback – my dynasty for a quarterback.” Nick Saban – All of Alabama

Hoddy Toddy! Hold your popcorn and throw your headset, this is going to be good. Lane Kiffen is the kind of guy that you have a blind date with in college. You come back and tell your roommate how weird he is. Then you end up marrying him!

Colorado and Oregon 2:30 on ABC – Duck, duck Deion! Team Sanders will need it all against the ducks. But it could be a Colorado high.

At 3:00 on SEC we have Tennessee and UTSA. I think Wylie Coyote will win this one against the roadrunners.

Evening Hours

Arkansas at LSU at 6:00 on ESPN – Boudin comes in pig casings. Andouille sausage also comes in pig casings. Just saying. Geaux Tigers!

Ohio State and Notre Dame at 6:30 on NBC – This is the type of game when I hope for a lightening, hail and snow storm. But Buckeyes You, ND. RL? I shall await your ND text!

Mississippi State at South Carolina at 6:00 on ESPN – Get the Big Solid Swear Jar ready. Evenly matched mediocre teams. Hail State!

Sam Houston State University at the University of Houston at 6:00 on a stream. The vultures are gathering around 4800 Calhoun Street. Dana? You cannot lose to Rice and Sam Houston in the same year.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas at Baylor -THEE University at 6:30 ABC –Let us pray. Oh Lord, please resurrect the 1974 Miracle on the Brazos game when it was 27 to 7 at halftime and Baylor came back to win 34-24 to win the Southwest Conference Championship for the first time in 50 years. Bless you Grant Teaff! Sadly, this could be ugly and the Bears will need a miracle. But still no Arch!

BTHO AUBURN!

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Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, Colorado, Deion Sanders, humor, Lane Kiffen, LSU, Ole Miss, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas, University of Houston

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

Posted on August 23, 2019 | 1 comment

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

It is the official kickoff of Snarky Friday – my college football comments before Saturday’s big games. We must begin today as the Texas Aggies open next Thursday against Texas State University – formerly Southwest Texas State University.

Oh the joys of traffic for a week day football game. Classes are just beginning at Texas A&M, Blinn College and the school districts of the Brazos Valley. No one knows where they are going. No one knows how to drive. Tailgating on east and west campuses. RVs and tents and corn hole matches dominating the land surrounding Kyle Field. 30,000 people in town Wednesday for Midnight Yell. But I am excited and already have my maroon out shirt. Every game is a maroon out game.

In other Aggie news. The 12th Man of the Aggie football team is Braden White. He is from Florence Alabama. What do you think about that, Nick? Jimbo trying a little psych out maybe? See you October 12.

I now have access to the ACC Network because I am a loyal customer – aka subscribes to all of the other sports channels. For those only familiar with the LHN, other conferences share and fans have the benefit of seeing many more schools play many more sports.

And now to the meaningless college football ratings. I see that THE University of Texas is rated number 10 in several polls. The Horns should rip through the mediocre Big 12 Conference. We shall see if they can hold on to that ranking. September 7 and October 12 should take care of it. Prepare yourself to hear Tiger Rag and Boomer Sooner ad nausea. The road to the National Championship runs through the SEC, OU and Clemson.

I see where Baylor University and The University of Mississippi will play in Houston in 2020. Well, “Hotty Toddy, God Almighty!” Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Baylor, the largest Baptist school on the planet, with no drinking is playing Ole Miss where alcohol is consumed like water and the drinking age in Mississippi is 10?

And then Old Miss fans do the Toddy Chant.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, God Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

Nothing like cussing in your yell when Ole Miss plays Baylor. Maybe the Rebels will dance too.

I am so ready for it all. Kick-off is only days away. Must get prepared for it. Note to self – pick up Bloody Mary mix and vodka for 11:00 am games, beer for 2:30 games, and wine for 6:00 games. Yes, a case of each. That should hold me through the Aggie-Clemson game.

BTHO Texas State!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, Jimbo Fisher, LSU, LSU Tigers, Native Texan, Texas Aggie football, Texas Aggies

Tagged Baylor, Baylor football, Clemson, Oklahom University, Ole Miss, The University of Texas

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Posted on September 1, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Happy Snarky Football Friday. Last night we had the opportunity to see two schools’ fund raisers to fund their entire athletic department. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State beat Missouri State 58-17. That Mullet is looking good, Mike.

Kyle Field 8.30.18 Photo by KB

Of course my eyes were glued to the Texas Aggies versus Northwestern State. I told you, Demons, that Kyle Field was loud. Three false starts in a row on the first series. Twelfth Man.

Of course we all held our breath when Northwestern scored in the Fourth Quarter. So what if the Aggies were ahead 50+ to zero. Final score Aggies 59 and Northwestern 7 plus a large percentage the gate receipts like Missouri State gets.

In the horrible 11:00 AM spot on Saturday we have following games with teams who must have done something back to get stuck here.

In the O-State battle we find Ohio State and Oregon State on ABC. The Beavers and Suspension.

Also at the non-football game time of 11 am we find THE University of Texas and Maryland on FS 1. Was it really necessary to throw Texas coach, Tom Herman, under that bus because he went to a strip club with the domestic abuser? What are you trying to do? Go dot your “I” with a tuba, Ohio State.

Hotty Totty, God Almighty! On ESPN we have the Rebels of Old Miss and the Raiders of Texas Tech. I do not think you are allowed to throw tortillas at NRG Stadium in Houston or write graffiti on the buses, Tech.

The Sooners of Oklahoma and QB Kyler Murray take on FAU (whoever that is and I’m too lazy to look it up) on FOX. I hope Murray has gained some weight. When he played for Texas A&M, he looked like he was one tackle away from a body cast.

Clemson and Furman kickoff at 11:20 on ACC Network. Come on Furman Paladins. Hope Clemson is looking ahead to next week.

The dogs are let out at 2:30 when the Washington Huskies meet the Auburn Tigers. This could be big for both the PAC 12 and the SEC conferences. It’s on ABC.

Opposite on CBS we find the Georgia Bulldogs playing the Austin Peay Governors. UGA going to peay all over the Governors.

Speaking of bulldogs. At 6:30 on ESPNU it’s the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin and the Mississippi State Bulldogs. I must root for SFA since I have papers from there. However, I fear that Bullie will pee on the pines before the Jacks can give them the Ax.

In the big game, the Tide comes rolling in as Alabama and Louisville kickoff at 7:00 on ABC. In a Snark closing, I would like to say the following to all of the sports mouths. Nick Saban will decide who starts at quarterback for Alabama. All of you mouths are just speculating. I’m sure if Coach Saban needs your input he will call you. Roll Tide.

Friday, July 21, 2017 – Snarky Friday and Hotty Toddy Escort my Body Out of Here.

Posted on July 21, 2017 | 2 comments

Friday, July 21, 2017 – Snarky Friday and Hotty Toddy Escort my Body Out of Here.

Apparently Texas A&M’s Kevin Sumlin did not have the hottest coach’s seat in the SEC. Wow, coming straight out of a William Faulkner novel the Hugh Freeze, Head Coach of The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) resigned suddenly after displaying “a pattern of personal misconduct.” I have not consulted the Urban Dictionary, but I think that is code for “bring on the hookers.”

I understand Ken Starr might be available to represent Coach Freeze. Mr. Starr has vast experience with sex scandals. Rick Pitino (Louisville) may be able to recommend legal counsel. Given the lawyer rats jumping ship from The White House, I am sure a football sex scandal would seem like a piece of cake to any one of them. So we shall let the lawyers take over.

As for the coaching situation, I am sure any coach would want to assume the responsibilities of an NCAA program on probation and now saddled with a sex scandal just at the onset of the football season. How do you think Art Briles would look in Rebel blue and red? Charlie Strong? Whaaat?

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/ole-miss-coach-hugh-freeze-resigns-amid-explosive-new-information/

Onward down the football field. I was reading Olin Buchanan’s excellent article this morning – Same Song: Aggies Deaf to Herman’s Plea to Renew Rivalry.

https://texags.com/t/3116/olin-buchanan

Here’s what I’m thinking. Coach Herman, I am not in MENSA like you are, but I do know my history. You should probably study some of it too. May I recommend The 100 Year Decision, by R. Bowen Loftin?

Mr. Buchanan in his article so noted, as does Dr. Bowen, it was not the Aggies decision to cancel the series. It was DeLoss Dodds’ decision to punish the Aggies financially.

There are theorists who theorize an alternate version of Justin Tucker’s game winning, time running out, suck the life out of you, field goal victory over the Aggies. The outcome of everything might have been different had the kick not been good.

But alas, Coach Herman. The Aggies left the Big 12 Conference to join the Southeastern Conference. In the SEC, and an 8 and 5 season will out do a 5-7 season any day of the week. The North Carolina women’s basketball team can beat the Kanas football team.

But Coach Herman, you do have that Longhorn Network – the one you do not share with any of the others in the conference? The one that shows old footage of past glory? That one. Not to be confused with the SEC Network (and there is also an alternate network on really good sports’ days). Not only does it share it profits with its member schools, it has much better programming because of the National Championships won by the SEC schools. Check it out, Coach.

But yes, my Class of ’85 ears are deaf to a rivalry between Texas A&M and THE University of Texas. LSU and Alabama and even poor Ole Miss are way more fun than you, Bevo and Boys. But I hear Manhattan, Kansas and Ames Iowa and even Waco, Texas are nice during the winter.

Here’s to Coach Herman: Hullaballoo Keneck Ken NO! Not interested.

BTHO

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Big 12, College Football; Texas Aggies, Hugh Freeze, humor, Ken Starr, Ole Miss, Olin Buchanan, satire, SEC, SEC Network, The University of Mississippi, Tom Herman

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 14, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Ship wreck 4

GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!

Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.

Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.

The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.

Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.

First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.

In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?

THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.

The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.

The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10. Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?

The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:

Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!

The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.

The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.

And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.

The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:

Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.

Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!

Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.

Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”

Twelfth Man (800x600)

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, LSU, LSU football, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, OU, The University of Texas

Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

Posted on October 31, 2016 | 2 comments

Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

College football on Saturday was indeed trick or treat. Some teams got the treat while others got the trick. The college football playoffs begins to heat up. Let’s begin.

With all due respect to Jimmy Fallon and his Friday night Thank You Notes –

The Thank You Note Awards go to:

Thank you, Texas, for beating Baylor 34 to 35 to knock the Bears out of The AP Top Ten, the possibility of a Baylor/Texas A&M Bowl game, and playoff possibilities. Hook ‘Em Hippies! To you Baylor, Aggies truly understand your feelings watching the Horn-kicked football split the uprights during the last seconds.
Thank you, Auburn, for beating the stuffing out of Ole Miss and giving the Rebels a second SEC West loss and making the Texas A&M/Ole Miss game exciting.
Thank you Wyoming, for beating Boise State 30 to 28 ensuring we will not have to look at the seizure blue field of Boise State on TV.
Thank you Tortilla Tech for beating TCU 27 to 24 in double OT. Because it is Halloween, Tortilla Tech is awarded The One-Eyed; one-horned flying purple people eater award for sending the Frogs out of contention.
Thank you Oklahoma State for beating West Virginia 37 to 20 and keeping a shred of dignity and possibility of winning the Small 12 Conference.

Next we have the Slip and Slide Away Awards. This award is presented to teams who had victory escape from them in the closing moments of the game. In addition all of these teams receive a Poopy Undies Award. Moving down field the Slip and Slide Away and Poopy Undies Awards are presented to:

Michigan 32 Michigan State 23
Louisville 32 Virginia 25
Ohio State 24 Northwestern 20
Washington 34 Utah 24
Wisconsin 23 Nebraska 17
Clemson 37 Florida State 34

In the SEC Alabama beat Bye Week University and LSU was victorious over Bye University @ Baton Rouge. Wonder what will happen this Saturday.

The final award today goes to The Best Football Team in the state of Texas – The Fighting Texas Aggies! The Aggies of Texas A&M beat the Aggies of New Mexico State 52 to 10 causing national sports announcers to say things like:

“Texas A&M is a bona fide National Playoff Contender.”

barn-n-park-9-22-16-2016-09-22-041-800x530

It is Halloween and statements like that scare me to pieces. Happy Halloween.

Gig ‘Em Aggies and BTHO Mississippi State.

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, Jimmy Fallon, LSU, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, TCU, The University of Texas

Friday, October 28, 2016 – Snarky Friday, Football, Maroon Madness and GO CUBS!

Posted on October 28, 2016 | 2 comments

Maroon Madness – Unveiling of the Men’s 2016 SEC Conference Championship Banner.

Friday, October 28, 2016 – Snarky Friday, Football, Maroon Madness and GO CUBS! Click to see more Maroon Madness and comments.

It is another fun filled weekend of sports so let’s get started. The Aggies of Texas A&M are playing the Aggies of New Mexico at 6:30 on ESPNU in The Aggie Cupcake Bowl.

Fifteen minutes prior to Aggie Cupcake kick off on the SEC Network the Auburn Tigers go against the Rebels of Ole Miss. A victory over the Rebels would be most appreciated in Aggieland.

Other cupcake action has Texas Southern playing the #1 CFB Sam Houston Bearkats on ESPN3. This could be the Bearkats year to be #1.

The Game of Interest is THE University of Texas hosting the Baylor Bears on ABC at 2:30. This game is interesting for many reasons and not all of them are good.

And in the evening at 7:00 PM Game Two of the we have the history making World Series between the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Cubs on Fox. GO CUBS! I do not believe I have ever seen so much winter gear worn during a baseball game.

Here are some pics from last evening’s Maroon Madness tipping off the start of basketball season. Be sure to read my comments- especially you, RL.

Maroon Madness 2016 Hard to see the men’s team to the right, but they do seem to be in the spotlight.

GB and Lashes. I did not know GB could move that quickly.

White Men Can’t Dance

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, humor, Native Texan

Tagged Auburn, Baylor, Big 12 Conference, College Football; Texas Aggies, ESPN, Maroon Madness, Ole Miss, SEC, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, The University of Texas

Monday, October 24, 2016 – Two Months Until Christmas Eve, but First – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 24, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 24, 2016 – Two Months Until Christmas Eve, but First – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

The first awards today are The Buzzard Awards. buzzard-rp-800x450 The first Buzzard Award goes to the officiating crew who called the Alabama/ Texas A&M game on both sides of the ball. Let’s review – when a player’s mouth piece is knocked from his mouth and flies over the shoulder of the hitting player him and the hittee’s helmet’s visor cracks, it is called TARGETING!

The second Buzzard Award goes to CBS and Vern Lunquist and Gary Whatever Your Name is for spewing forth words during about the Aggie/Bama game that was supposed to be your game commentary. Gary, no one cares what play you would have called. This is why you are not coaching. This award comes with free engraving SHUT UP!

buzzards-800x727

The Third Buzzard Award goes to the only announcers who were worse than Vern and Gary (and this includes Mack Brown and Brent Mushburger) were the announcers for THE University of Texas and Kansas State game. Which one of you called a player a “specimen?” SPECIMEN? SEDAGIVE? I needed one listening to you two. I am throwing in a Free Mute Button Award for this pair. At least twice guy announcer referred to Texas’ players’ off side penalties as “you must be able to hold your water.” WTH does that mean? Are you a urologist? I will not even go into your diagnosis of LSU’s Leonard Fournette’s ankle injury comparing it yours. (I.e. Sample size of one.)

Moving downfield in the Small 12 Conference – Baylor wins over Bye University again. Don’t you get to play them one more time?

The Hands to my Face Award and the award for Little Shop of Horrors goes to THE University of Texas. Enough torture for the Horns so I am not even going into any details.

The Air Show over Lubbock Award is shared by Oklahoma who scored 66 points to Tortilla Tech’s 59. Why do they even offer scholarships to players to play defense? Why not get an intermural team?

My First Favorite Game of the Week Award goes to the Mustangs of SMU for the crushing victory over the University of Houston 38 to 16. I wonder about the lavender colored ponies on the helmets, but whatever works.

My second Favorite Game of the Week Award goes to Penn State for defeating #2 Ohio State University by a score of 24 to 21. I guess Nittany Lions like nuts.

The We Always Win Half Time Award goes the Fighting Texas Aggie Band.

Photo by Mickey

Photo by Mickey

If these crooked lines are the Alabama Million Dollar Band, they are not getting their money’s worth.

Alabama 33 Texas A&M 14. The Time Ran Out as The Tide Rolled In Award goes to Texas A&M. Great game to both teams. A nine and one schedule with the one loss being the #1 will still look good.

Besides who is left on schedule for the Aggies? Oh crap. Ole Miss and LSU. Way to GEAUX Tigers. See you at Thanksgiving.

Friday, October 21, 2016 – The Snark of Friday and the Battle for the SEC

Posted on October 21, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 21, 2016 – The Snark of Friday and the Battle for the SEC

Before the Snark arrives, please join me in noting the passing of Houston sports announcer, Bob Allen. I do not know how many of my sorority sisters at Stephen F. Austin had secret crushes on him, but I did. Bob was an outstanding individual who made the lives of others better. My thoughts and prayers go to his family.

And now – Here come the snark! Here come the snark!

You know HWIT is only about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. Having said that, there are only TWO games to note this Saturday. The rest of the games are just filling and killing time.

At 8:00 PM on ESPN we find # 23 Ole Miss Rebels and # 25 LSU Tigers. Check out one of my most prized possessions. That’s right Louisiana Cousins – signed by Heisman Winner Billy Cannon and my dear cousin Donnie Daye. I especially like the “to my favorite Aggie cuz.”

Anyone who cheers for the Tigers knows the story of the Halloween Game. GEAUX TIGERS! Pretend it is Halloween and take down the Rebels.

But before that game at 2:30 on CBS we have the game of the SEC, year, decade and perhaps the century. The undefeated at six and zero and ranked at number six (WHOOP!) we have the Fighting Texas Aggies in Tuscaloosa. The Ags visit Big Al and the #1 and undefeated at seven and zero Crimson Tide of Alabama. The last time the Aggies visited Bryant-Denny stadium this Heisman Winner was the quarterback. This is one not of my most prized possessions – yet. I am still hopeful. However, the victory by Johnny Manziel and the Texas Aggies over Alabama is one of my most prized memories.The quarterback for the Texas Aggies this year is Trevor Knight. His team beat Alabama too. Just saying.

But continuing to note outstanding football players, I do not want to slight Alabama and one of their most outstanding players – Forrest Gump. In fact to paraphrase Mr. Gump one team is going to be wounded “in the butt tocks!”