Tag Archives: Baylor Bears

Monday, December 20, 2015 – The Second Quarter of the Forty College Football Bowl Games.

Monday, December 20, 2015 – The Second Quarter of the Forty College Football Bowl Games.

“A horse!” A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” from Shakespeare’s Richard III, Act 5, Scene 4, lines 7-10.

Texas version. “A quarterback! A quarterback. My team for a quarterback!” From Texas’ Coach V, Teams 5 (schools), Scene 5, (Bowls and Championships), players 10+

The five teams Baylor, Texas A&M, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, and the Celina Bobcats (3A high school state championship lost the quarterback to a broken wrist on the first series played. Celina lost the game too.)

And now the Second Quarter of The Ridiculous Number of College Football Bowl Games that no one really cares about.

December 23

Bowl Number 11 – The GoDaddy Bowl begins at 8:00 PM on ESPN between Georgia Southern and Bowling Green. Go Daddy. This name offers so many directions. Let’s just say Go Daddy and leave the rest to TV commercials and social workers.

December 24 – Christmas Eve

Bowl 12 is The Popeye’s’ Bahamas Bowl that kicks off at noon on ESPN between Middle Tennessee and Western Michigan. I am not certain if the name of this bowl refers to the chicken franchise or the cartoon sailor. Who cares about the teams? One is in the Bahamas.

Bowl 13 is the Hawaii Bowl at 8:00 PM between San Diego State and Cincinnati on ESPN. Same criteria for Hawaii as Bahamas – who cares who is playing? Get me a drink with an umbrella in it.

December 26

Bowl 14 finds us in St. Petersburg to watch Connecticut and Marshall on our monopolistic favorite ESPN at 11: 00 AM. I would love to be in St. Pete again but only with J and R again.

Bowl 15 finds The Hyundai Sun Bowl between Miami and Washington State at 2:00 PM on CBS. Look you can change the channel to CBS.

Bowl 16 – is The I am so Bored Bowl. No wait. It is the Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl between Washington and Southern Mississippi on ESPN. The Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas? Are you kidding me? Back to The I am so Bored Bowl. Anyway it is at 2:00.

Bowl 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl between Indiana and Duke. I thought these schools played basketball.   Coming to you live from the Bronx and Yankee Stadium on ABC at 3:30. Wait – there is a football bowl game, named after a clothing pattern, played between two traditional basketball schools in a baseball stadium. I am so confused.

Bowl 18 – Give me a break. Really. There is a bowl game called The Camping World Independence Bowl? Guess there is. It is on ESPN at 5:45 between Tulsa and Virginia Tech. Does one have to camp out in the parking lot?

Bowl 19 is the Foster Farms Bowl. Is there a bowl game for Adopted Farms? This 9:15 kickoff on ESPN is between UCLA and Nebraska. Note: Nebraska has a losing record. Not to mention Nebraska fans wear giant yellow, phallic symbols of corn on their heads.

December 28

Bowl 20 is the Northrop Grumman Military Bowl at 2:30 on ESPN between Pittsburg and Navy. This one might be worth watching. Go Navy.

Bowl 21 is the Quick Lane Bowl – as opposed to the Slow Lane Bowl? This game is between Central Michigan and Minnesota at five o’clock on ESPN2.

December 29

Bowl 22 is Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl played between California and Air Force on ESPN at 2:00. Doesn’t Lockheed Martin make air craft?

Bowl 23 – In The Russell Athletic Bowl coming to us live from Florida at 5:30 on ESPN our teams are North Carolina and Baylor. Does Baylor get to wear one of its 10 variations of NIKE uniforms or is that a conflict of interest?

Baylor Band

Bowl 24 is The NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl between Nevada and Colorado State at 7:30 on Campus Insiders. Campus Insiders? That is what the schedule says. I think the ESPN people have been puffing in Colorado.

Bowl 25 is the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl at 9:00 between LSU and Texas Tech on ESPN. Goodie this is between a team I love and a team I do not love.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Tech (800x600)

December 30 – OMG – there are five more of these contests before we ever get to the next group.

Bowl 26 is The Birmingham Bowl at noon on ESPN between Auburn and Memphis. I wonder if Uncle Will Muschamp’s head will explode during this game prior to him becoming a Game Cock – which just adds more adjectives to describe Coach Articulate.

Bowl 27 is the Belk Bowl at 3:30 on ESPN (who else?) between North Carolina State and Mississippi State. What is the Belk Bowl?

Bowl 28 – The Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. OK I must watch because this game is the Fighting Texas Aggies and Louisville. Mercy – talk about The 12th Man in action. We just might get to see somebody called out of the stands to suit up for this one. This bowl could be named so many things. How about “The We Mortgaged Kyle Field Renovations through Franklin American Bowl?” How about “The Ernest Hemmingway – A Farewell to Arms Bowl?” Oh hell, let’s just call it the Mucinex Bowl and expectorate and cough and Gig ‘Em Aggies. BTHO Louisville.

Corps (800x600)

BTHO

BTHO Louisville

Bowl 29 – The Holiday Bowl between USC and Wisconsin in San Diego offers a vacation to the Badgers at 10:30 on ESPN and sleep for me.

And that takes us to December 31 – New Year’s Eve when finally there will be some teams and games worth watching.

Our winners of this round are:

ABC – 2

CBS – 1

ESPN2 – 1

ESPN – 15

Corporate/Military Sponsors – 19

Nike – TBD

Adidas – TBD

Under Armor – Maybe one team

Russell Athletic – Maybe

Campus Insiders – Who? What?

Friday, December 4, 2015 – Snarky Friday Holiday

Friday, December 4, 2015 – Snarky Friday Holiday

I am taking today off. So it will be necessary to conduct your own snarky Friday. However, I will give you some memories from a football game last year.

SIC ‘EM BEARS!

Baylor - BU UT 2013 - Scoreboard Champs 2

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

  • Florida and South Carolina
  • Kansas and TCU
  • Ohio State and Illinois
  • THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at    #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their  record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

Thursday, March 19, 2015 – Here Come the Big Boys

Thursday, March 19, 2015 – Here Come the Big Boys

Today I will spend my afternoon watching very large and handsome young men dressed in uniforms of tank tops and long shorts run and bounce and then toss and catch a round ball. Then after several passes, one of the young men will attempt to throw it through a hoop.  Today the big boys (no pun intended) begin to play. The big schools with recognized names begin play.

I actually played girls’ basketball in high school.  Let me rephrase that – For two years I attempted to play girls’ basketball.  The few outstanding qualities I possessed at the time were: height at 5’ 8” and some small level of athletic (i.e. – eye hand coordination) ability.  However what little eye-hand coordination I possessed was compromised because I wore glasses.  Those beautiful, wing-tipped, cat-eyed monstrosities, if you recall.  I had to wear a mask to avoid breaking them.  This is a fundamental truth of basketball at any level – You cannot play basketball while wearing a catcher’s mask.   You cannot see anything except what is directly in front of you. The wearing of a mask is probably why I turned out to be a much better softball player than basketball player.  There is actually a position which requires you to wear a mask.  Unfortunately, MHS and every other high school in Texas did not have organized and sanctioned softball teams. But I have forty years of softball stories with trophies packed away somewhere to prove my participation.  And unlike most catchers, I still have my original working knees.   And in my mind and dreams, I can still throw out that runner going to second and I can still hold on to the ball as the runner slides into home plate causing me to go ass over head for OUT NUMBER THREE!

But that is in my mind and dreams.  Today I will be in my chair (IMC) watching a couple of teams from the men’s NCAA Bracket.  Tomorrow the women’s NCAA basketball tournament begins.   By tomorrow evening I will have carpel tunnel of the thumb from channel changing with the remote and my eyes will look like basketball balls.

But for today – Sic’ Em Bears! And because you are from the state of Texas, I wish the team from Austin good bounces also.