Friday, September 2, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football Kickoff Weekend
The Friday before the first official weekend of college football is usually spent listing who got arrested, suspended and for what and thus will not be playing in this weekend football openers on Saturday. Let’s sum it up by saying to those of you not playing:
“quit being stupid,
stay off of social media,
don’t steal other peoples’ stuff,
stop hitting people and your pets when you get angry,
have a designated driver,
don’t smoke dope and
No (and passed out cold) means NO!”
But enough about Baylor, Auburn, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Alabama, OU, Stanford, Mississippi State, Ole Miss and USC players.
Tonight we have Baylor vs Northwestern – the Baptist Bears against the Northwestern Demons. @ 6:30. No TV. Not even baptismal streaming on ESPN3. These Demons just might add to the other demons haunting Baylor. Sorry Baylor nieces, nephews and gnieces and gnephews. Wishing for an upset. Go Cousin Daryl – DC for Northwestern.
Speaking of Natchitoches where Northwestern is located, we have the other brother, Nacogdoches, and his town my Alma Mater # 1 Stephen F. Austin playing Texas Tech in Lubbock @ 7:00 on Saturday. No TV. Not even ESPN3 streaming. Listen up, Jacks. Lubbock will look completely foreign and bare. You will recognize it instantly with no trees. Do not bring your axes. However, beware of flying tortillas as well as flying footballs. Ax ‘Em Jacks!
# 8 Stanford and Kansas State @ 8:00 on FS1. The Wildkats from Kansas State travel to meet west coast Cardinal brainiacs and free thinkers. Think culture clash.
It’s a bloody Mary morning when #3 OU visits #15 The University of Houston @ 11:00 AM on ABC. To select a favorite is like trying to decide between a root canal and a hot water enema. I will go with the best looking red uniforms.
#5 LSU vs Wisconsin @ 2:30 on ABC. Leaping Lambeaux Field! And breathing the air of Vince Lombardi. ESPN Game Day @ 9:00. See which animal head Lee Curses puts on his head predicting the winner. On Wisconsin and into the Eye (and mouth) of the Tiger. Geaux Tigers! And Run Leonard Run!
#16 ucla vs TAMU @ 2:30 on CBS. The Aggies scored SEC Game Day at 9:00. I am getting my maroon, Adidas ensemble ready to tail gate. Thank you Hokes for the invitation!
Note to ucla QB, Josh Rosen: You might want to check out the 50,000 Aggies that will show up to Yell Practice tonight so you can become accustomed to the noise. Then prepare for another 50,000 the next day. This ain’t Utah.
Alma Mater # 2 Sam Houston State v Oklahoma Panhandle State in beautiful Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas @ 6:00. No TV. Go Bearkats!
#1 Alabama vs # 20 USC @ 7:00 on ABC. Roll Tide and stop with the OJ jokes. But you are correct. None of the other Heismans have killed people. At least not yet.
On Sunday, # 10 Notre Dame vs and the Strong and up and coming Texas Longhorns. Bless me Father for I have sinned and will be pulling for the Longhorns. The leprechaun is creepy; Bevo is not.
Monday; # 11 Ole Miss and #4 Florida State @ 7:00 on ESPN in Orlando assuming the entire peninsula has not been washed away.
Go Team Fight!