Tag Archives: Ohio State

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

 

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

There are only two games left in the regular season and they are like a Burger King order – Whoppers! Bowl Games are on the line; conference championships are at stake and all hell could break loose depending on the outcomes.

The morning begins @ 11:00 with #9 Michigan State and #3 Ohio State on ABC. An upset by the Spartans in the Land Grant College Bowl could create chaos for The Selection Committee. Go Spartans.

@ 2:30 #1 Clemson and Wake Forest on ESPN2. Yawn. Let me know the outcome.

@ 2:30 # 15 LSU and #22 Ole Miss in Oxford. Hotty Toddy . This is a huge rivalry. Eat your heart out LSU Fans. Look what I have in my possession – a commemorative shirt from the 1958 LSU National Championship. And yes, it is signed by Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon and it is signed by the player who threw the block springing Cannon down the sidelines against the Rebels for the winning touchdown, my wonderful cousin Donnie Daye. Geaux Tigers. Hang tough DD. FYI – this is why I am DRD and not DD. DD was already taken in the family.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 004 - Copy (600x800)

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Heisman Trophy Winner – Billy Cannon 8.10.2014

@3:00 #2 Alabama plays Charleston Southern on the SECN. Please pass the cupcakes.

Night Falls and more screens are needed to keep up with these Whoppers.

@ 6:30 on NBCSN – in the Catholic Bowl the Catholics of # 4/5 Notre Dame meet the Catholics of Boston College in Boston. What a “mass” this could turn out to be.

@ 6:30 the #10 Baylor Bears at 9-1 meet the undefeated 10-0 Oklahoma State Cowboys in Stillwater, OK on Fox. This could have serious implications for The Big 12, throw The Selection Committee into chaos and set up a Bedlam Contest between Oklahoma State and OU for the ages. Since I know there will be family there, I am anxious to see who wears green and gold and who wears orange and black.

@7:00 #18 TCU vs # 7OU on ABC from Norman Oklahoma. The Frogs are sliding and Sooners are rising. If TCU’s QB Boykin is not cleared to play, Boomer Sooner will played ad nausea – like they do not do all the time anyway.

@ 6:00 we have Arkansas and Mississippi State on ESPN from Fayetteville, Ark. One never knows what those Razorbacks will do. Perhaps they can win in regulation.

@ 6:30 The Fighting Texas Aggies visit the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville, TN on SECN. Did you know that Vanderbilt University is the only altruistic contribution that Commodore Vanderbilt made? All of the other Robber Barons of the day spend millions on altruistic endeavors, but not the Commodore.

Helmets

BTHO Vanderbilt.

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

To paraphrase The Grateful Dead – What a long strange, football weekend it has been.

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Little Green Men invaded. Looks like a Big Green Man.

In keeping with music our awards program today is brought to you by Paul Simon’s Slip Sliding Away as we saw many teams’ championship hopes slide away with a loss.

The Awards for Championship Hopes that Slip Slided away go to:

  • Baylor lost to the Sooners of OU – 44-34.
  • LSU lost to the Arkansas Razorbacks 31-14. And the Razorbacks won in regulation with no OT.
  • Stanford lost to the Ducks of Oregon 38-36.
  • Utah falls to Arizona 30-37.

This just in – if your uniform is a variation of the color RED, please report The Playoff Committee. This includes, the top four according to Dr. Saturday – Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama and Oklahoma State. Larry Culpepper would like to see you. Notre Dame please stand by as an alternate. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/oklahoma-state-and-notre-dame-move-up-in-ap-poll-192157357.html

Other awards go to:

The Burning Couch Award for “Couches, couches burning bright” goes to West Virginia. I know it is Tiger, tiger burning bright” by William Blake. But tigers did not burn bright anywhere except for Clemson. And I did not see how many couches were set afire with the West Virginia victory over THE University of Texas.

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SS University of Texas

TCU survived lowly Kansas 23 -17. But TCU does win the Ugly Uniforms Award. I am not sure what color the uniforms were but they did prove great hiding when you crapped in them when Boykin went down. Let’s hope he is OK. What color were your helmets? Pimp Car Purple?

The Texas Aggies who appear to continue to have a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season, win the Bigger, Stronger, Faster Award for playing with West Carolina like a catamount plays with its prey before winning 41-17.

The last award goes to the OU player who was ejected from the game for kicking a Baylor player in the facemask. He wins the Social Media Award for Poor Sportsmanship and Stupidity with his suggestion to the Baylor crowd that they have sexual intercourse with themselves. Remember Dude, the camera is always on!

Happy Monday.

Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Our Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word “amphigory.” Amphigory is a noun meaning “a meaningless or nonsensical piece of writing, especially one intended as a parody.” A quote – “it is the mother of all miscellanies, aka an amphigory, a medley, a pot-pourri, a gallimaufry, a salmagundi, and omnium-gatherum, a vade mecum, a smorgasbord. Robert McCrum, “God bless you Mr. Schott, The Guardian, December 7, 2002. (Dictionery.com)

Yes, all of those words will be on your assessment exam because they so describe Here’s What I’m Thinking and I have no idea what most of them mean. – Vade mecum?

But if that don’t describe the chaotic weekend of college football… Here is your ado, so further it by reading on.

To the horrible broadcasters of the Texas Aggie/Mississippi State game on the SECN – Brent Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer. What is the deal? Are you somebody’s brother-in-law? Son-in-law? Do you have video of people? I am not certain, Mr. Palmer, but I think you are supposed to give equal time to both teams. Did you not even pick up an A&M media guide? You get the Mute Button Award.

The Most Points Award goes to the Baylor Bears 63- 35 over Texas Tech. I do not think these bears are going into hibernation anytime soon.

However, it is a tie for Ugliest Uniforms between those bleached-out TCU lavender tops and the drab grey, olive and yellow uniforms of Baylor. Who is your uniform rep? Stevie Wonder?

There are several Poo-Poo Undies Awards that go to:

  • Michigan State
  • Ohio State
  • Oklahoma State

For having close games and scaring the poo out of your fan base. That # 1 Spot is looking very shaky, Buckeyes. Larry Culpepper is watching.

FYI – It was accurratte, that the officials from The Big 12 apologized for the bad calls by the referees. They were not accurrette when they established the line of scrimmage. The Spell Check Award goes to The Big 12. Is that accurratte?

The Pepto-Bismol for Dismal Awards goes the teams that were upset: These are:

  • UCLA – by Arizona State
  • Ole Miss by Florida
  • Notre Dame by Clemson
  • The State of South Carolina by Floods

Speaking of Dismal – The Train wreck Award goes THE University of Texas. I have no other words to say save – it could get worse. OU+CH = OUCH next Saturday. Next week UT players can tweet at half-time and call for Uber to come pick them up and just head on over to the State Fair of Texas.

Auburn wins the Dionne Warwick award for knowing “the way to San Jose.” Now do you know the way back to the SEC?

The Rain and Let’s Build an Ark Awards goes to:

  • Ole Miss vs Florida – the Florida team had the flu all week; the Swamp floods and the Rebels sink.
  • Notre Dame vs Clemson – Death Valley floods and the Irish sink.
  • Georgia vs. Alabama – The Tide was even Rising from the sky.

And to The Crimson Tide of Alabama I am giving them the William T. Sherman Award as they “…sing the jubilee; hoorah, hoorah, the flag that makes us free; while we sang a chorus from Atlanta to the sea – While they were marching Through Georgia.”

And to The Fighting Texas Aggies – I am awarding the Reveille is so much prettier than Bully Award. Not to mention she does not drool and she wears clothes.

The QB of the Game Award goes to Kyle Allen of Texas A&M. The stats on passing leaders:

  1. D. Prescott 20-34 for 210 yards.
  2. K. Allen 25-41 for 322 yards, 2 TDs.

Or as Palmer would say: Prescott was edged out by Allen.

The Aggies have an open date next Saturday and Alabama entertains the Pork and beans from Arkansas.

But then … Coming to Kyle Field on a station near you – Alabama vs Texas A&M – October 17. BTHO Alabama.

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