Tag Archives: Oklahoma State University

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Tequila shots and Poo Poo Undies Awards for Every college team except Alabama! What the hell – give the Tide a Poo Poo Undies Award for use later.

I will also award Alabama and LSU The Manicure Award for being the only games that were not nail biters or heart attack givers.

With Monday after comments, let’s begin.

THE University of Texas is awarded:

The Shoot Out at the OK (State) Corral.

gun-fire-at-the-ok-corral-800x623

wheres-waldo-800x564 The Where’s Waldo – aka Rudolph? Where’s the ball? Where’s the Texas Defense? Look- I am a old woman who never played a down of football but who could catch a pass in that defensive strategy. PS – the ball is seen just above the 25 yard line.

The Cowgirl and/or the Horse Could Have Kicked Better Award. Notice the rider does not wear a black mask or a cape like you know who. I guess these Cowboys do not need to hide their face.

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The Block Party Awardblock-party-610x800

Thank you KK for such great pics and D for holding the paper. Go Pokes!

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.0 is awarded to Baylor University. Baylor 45 Iowa State 42 A three week Bye? That is right – only 10 teams in the Conference formerly known as The Big 12.

The first Premature Celebration Award goes to Florida State University for scoring a go ahead touchdown with 23 seconds remaining in the game. FSU 35 UNC 34.

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.01 is awarded to University of North Carolina for kicking a 54 yard field goal as time expires. UNC 37 FSU 35.

The Exploding Pumpkin Head for Coaches is shared – first by Bob Stoops from OU when the Cooper’s call went against the Sooners and then TCU’s Gary Patterson when the call was reversed. OU 52 TCU 46.

The second Premature Celebration Award goes to Georgia for scoring on a Hail Mary pass with 10 seconds left in the game. Bulldogs 31 Tennessee Vols 28.

The Hail Mary Joshua Fit the Final Battle of the SEC East Award goes to Joshua Dobbs and Jauan Jennings for the last play of the game. Tennessee 34 Georgia 31. Back to back successful Hail Mary passes! Where are my nitro glycerin pills?

The Just When I thought I was Calm Award goes to Clemson and Louisville.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Louisville for coming up one yard shy on Fourth Down as the time expires. Clemson 42 – Louisville – 36. Shake it off, Cardinals. I understand Cougar meat taste like Tiger meat.

The Getta the Hell Out of Town Fast with a W Award is awarded to The Fighting Texas Aggies and Coach Sumlin. Texas A&M 24 South Carolina 13

The No Let Up Award goes to Texas A&M and tu – not the tu orange that burnt up in Stillwater. It is the faded orange that resembles checkered table cloths washed in bleach. Tennessee is coming to town! # 8 Texas Aggies and # 9 Tennessee Volunteers. 2:30 CBS Kyle Field Saturday, October 8, 2016. Note to non-football people – STAY AWAY from Bryan College Station probably officially beginning Thursday. This place is already going wild and crazy and it’s only Monday. WHOOP!

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Gig ‘Em Barn – Highway 6 photo by me. 9.22.2016

Note to self: Check liquor supply. Ensure all calming drugs are up to date. And Who’s Cooper?

BTHO Tennessee!

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend!

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend. My Monday after Saturday (and Thursday, Friday and Sunday) After College Football Awards – Week One.

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WHOOP! Tailgating 9.3.16 Photo by Terry.

Thursday

The Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte Award goes to Louisville for the 70-14 win over Charlotte.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to the Volunteers and their fans from Tennessee for their OT victory against Appalachian State. There’s an App for that. App State 13 Tennessee 20 OT.

The Dabo Babo Award goes to Auburn for coming so close to cleaning Clemson. Clemson 19 Auburn 13.

Friday

The Baptism at the Brazos Award or the This Should Have Been a Sign Award goes to Baylor. Baylor was the first team to take down a team from Louisiana. Sorry Daryl. Bad weekend for teams from Louisiana. Baylor 55 Northwestern State 7.

That Grammar Don’t Sound Right Award goes to Stanford. “The Cardinal are on the scoreboard,” just does not sound correct, even though technically and grammatically it is since the football team is the color Cardinal. With so many brains, one would think they could come up with an actual mascot. Stanford Cardinal 26 K-State Wildkats 13.

Saturday

The Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move Under my Feet” Award goes to Oklahoma State University. Dang, when those Cowboys say, “Hell, is coming and I’m coming with it” they really mean it. OSU 61 SE Louisiana 7.

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Photo by Kristen. Thank you.

The Herman’s Hermits Award Goes toThe University of Houston. The Oklahoma earthquake obvious wrecked and fracked The Sooner Schooner, but had no effect on Big 12 Wannabee – The University of Houston. OU 23 Houston 33.

The Pepto Abysmal Award goes to LSU 14 Wisconsin 16. Is the For Sale sign up in front of Miles’s house yet?

The Flying Tortillas Award goes to Texas Tech for turning the SFA Lumberjacks into flapjacks. TT 69 SFA 17. I told you to watch out for flying footballs.

The Phrog Jumped over The Hill Award goes to the TCU Frogs. Charlie P. You know this is not the good team from South Dakota, don’t you? TCU 59 South Dakota State 41.

The Victory Award goes to Kansas University! Rock Chalk Jayhawk! for their first win in 665 days over Rhode Island. KU 55 URI 6.

The Nut Cracker Award goes to USC player Jabari Ruffin. You should have been suspended as well as ejected for that cheap shot. Glad the Crimson Tide drowned and steam rolled your package. Roll Tide! Alabama 52 USC 6.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies for their OT win against a very talented team from California. UCLA 24Texas A&M 3. I did not know I could hold my breath for an entire overtime period.

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“Get yore hand out of Myle’s Garret’s face so he can touch my hand.” Team March In – Kyle Field. Photo by me.

The Twelfth Man Award goes to The Twelfth Man – all 100,000+ chanting 50,000! 50,000! Note to Navy: Do not even think about using The Twelfth Man even though you actually pulled a midshipman from the stands to QB the team.

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E. King Gill. The Original Twelfth Man. Kyle Field. 9.3.16. Photo by me.

The Big Learning Experience Award goes to UCLA QB Josh Rosen for his leadership and taking responsibility for his poor play against the Aggies. Yes, Myles Garret and the others were in his shirt, but he stayed cool under the loud pressure and displayed outstanding leadership for a 19 year old. Well-done. It is not easy playing in Kyle Field.

Sunday

A Poo Poo Undies Award aka Holy Crap Award goes to THE University of Texas and its fans for a double OT thriller over Notre Dame. Not even the rainbow over DKR Stadium could stop BEVO from eating the creepy Leprechaun. Notre Dame 47 THE University of Texas 50 2 OT. I am happy for you Bevo, but put down Coach Strong and do not use electricity to light the Tower. It’s just Notre Dame.

Texas (800x800)

Photo by Martha. Thanks, Roomie.

The Shane Come Back Award is shared by THE University of Texas quarterbacks Shane Buechele and a swooping and stretching Tyrone Swoops. Maybe tu just needed another cowboy type name and new BEVO. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

The All Names Matter Awards goes to following:

In Third Place – from Notre Dame, # 91 Adetokunbo Ogundeji

In Second Place – from Notre Dame, # 6 – Equanimeous St. Brown

In First Place – winning from K-State, # 52 – Charmeachealle Moore.

What a weekend! That’s the scoop for the first weekend.

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Is it too early for an Ole Miss Hotty Toddy? Oh mimosas!

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

It is the last week of the year 2015. It will be a week filled with more college football games. However, some of these games should be quite good and two of them will be quite exciting – we hope.

One must check last week’s Here’s What I’m Thinking for your handy dandy bowl games, times, teams and station the game will be played prior to New Year’s Eve. A quick review of the only ones I care about are: Bowl Game # 23 on Dec 29 – Baylor; Bear with Foot

Bowl Game # 25 – LSU ; Mike the Tiger and Tortilla Tech Tech (800x600)

Dec 30 Bowl # 28 – The Fighting Texas Aggies – BTHO Louisville.

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I did not keep up with the previous college football games played so I only have a couple of awards based on the two games I only saw end.

Bowl # 15 – Miami wins the “We left Miami for this Weather?” Award. The Hyundai Sun Bowl in El Paso was played in blizzard conditions causing the camera people to be unable to find the football. Best part of that game – seeing the winning coach from Washington State, Mike Leach, get slammed by two Gatorade buckets – one of Gatorade; the other of ice in the blizzard.

Bowl # 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl – Indiana, you win The Too High, Not Reviewable, You Got Screwed Award. This is presented when the referees said no good to the potential tying field goal in OT. This allowed Duke to win its first football bowl game since 1961. I told you these teams played basketball.

Fast forward to Thursday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve.

# 30 Chick-fil A Peach Bowl – the University of Houston and Florida State sans starting quarterback, starting at noon on ESPN. I learned years ago from my LSU cousins – Never pull for a team from Florida.

Then at 4:00 – Here we go – This is what we have been waiting for. Invented by Larry Culpepper, it is The College Football Playoffs.

The # 31st Bowl Game is game one of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. The Capital One Orange Bowl finds ranked at # 4 The University of Oklahoma Sooners, representing the Big 12 Conference, versus the # 1 the Clemson Tigers, representing the Atlantic Coast Conference at 4:00 on ESPN. Good luck, Sooners. And good luck to your future quarterback Kyler Murray. Seriously, I do wish him well. He is fast, but he also looks like he is one hit away from a body cast.

Following this game is Bowl Game # 32 and game two of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. At 8:00 PM on ESPN from Arlington, Texas comes The Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic. The first land grant school in history, the # 3 ranked Michigan State Spartans will drown as the # 2 Crimson Tide from Alabama rolls over them like a category 5 Gulf Coast hurricane that comes rolling in during the middle of the night. Sorry. Got a bit carried away and lost my objectivity.

Jan 1 – It’s a brand new year. 2016!!! However we are pretty much back to football teams that no one cares about unless you went to school there.

# 33 – The Outback Bowl from Tampa at noon on ESPN2 we find Northwestern and Tennessee. I think I will go have a steak at Outback.

#34 is The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl between Michigan and Florida – also sans quarterback and sans any cheering for the Gators.

#35 is The BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl. The BattleFrog Fiesta? Shouldn’t TCU be playing in this? This sounds like some kind of amphibian frolicking party in the punch bowl. Anyway it is Notre Dame and The Ohio State University at 1:00 PM on ESPN.

# 36 The Granddaddy of the Bowl Games is the Rose Bowl between the Smarty Pants of Stanford and Iowa at 5:00 on ESPN. I love a parade. Going to Pasadena to the Rose Bowl Parade is a bucket list item.

# 37 – Bowl game # 37 is the bowl game that offers the most fun regardless of who wins. Gniece # 1’s alma mater, the Oklahoma State Cowboys plus Pistol Pete and the Ole Miss Rebels in the Suga Bowl in Nawlins. These teams kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. Go Pokes! I shall have a toddy or two. Pistol Pete

Jan 2 – The further away the games move from New Years, the less anyone cares about the games.

# 38 – The TaxSlayer Bowl between The ugly, yet traditional uniforms of Penn State and The University of Georgia is at noon on ESPN.

# 39 – The AutoZone Liberty Bowl with Kansas State and Arkansas from Memphis at 3:20 on ESPN.

# 40 – The Valero Alamo Bowl finds Oregon and TCU – Ducks and Frogs – playing at 6:45 on ESPN.

# 41 – The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl between West Virginia and Arizona State at 10:15 PM on ESPN. I hope they leave the light on for next year. You were expecting another network?

And then there was one. The college football bowl games are over, except for one. – The fourth and final quarter of the college football season.

On January 11, 2016 The National Champion of Division I College Football will be crowned. The game will kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. I am hoping two team both dressed in shades of red and white making it hard to distinguish the teams.

ROLL TIDE!

Schedule courtesy of ESPN and The Associated Press. That means I found it on the Internet.

 

Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU

Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU!

Especially if your team is THE University of Texas. So throw me a tortilla and kneel down as if in Victory Formation. Burnt Orange! Raiders 48. Horns 45. Who is up next for THE University? Baylor. Is there a quarterback left between the two of you? Will both of you be playing in the Scott and White Hospital parking lot? Seriously, all get well soon.

But who is up for The Committee to review today and tomorrow?

Kicking off at 11:00 on ABC today we have at #15 The University of Houston and #21 Navy. Ooh. That Major Applewhite guy that is U of H offensive coordinator and quarterback coach “he looking pretty good now, huh tu?”

At 2:30 on ABC it is Nebraska and #4 Iowa in Lincoln. I will so promise to wear a yellow corn cob on my head if Nebraska can upset Iowa.

At 3:00 on FS1 it is always interesting to see what ensemble the Ducks of Oregon (aka The University of Nike) will wear against their arch rival the Beavers of Oregon State.

And coming to you live on ESPN at 6:30 the game we all anticipated, but then…TCU hosts Baylor and without the stars from either team, who knows what will happen. Sic ‘Em Bears.

Bear with Foot

Come Saturday – Let’s start the day with a The Big Chill game at 11:00 am on ABC between Michigan and Ohio State. Go Wolverines.

It is the Iron Bowl @ 2:30 on CBS from Auburn, Alabama – ROLL TIDE! Take no prisoners.

Does anyone know the Stanford Fight Song? It’s probably something like “Oh the square root of pi to the 78th decimal place is what we sing, because we all are geniuses and our mascot is a tree.” Just beat Notre Dame on Fox @ 6:30.

In what promises to be the icing on the cake, and not frosting, but ice, should be the Bedlam Game in Stillwater. ESPN Game Day will be there. So whatever head gear Corsor puts on, the other team will win between OU Sooners and Oklahoma State Cowboys at 7:00 pm on ABC. Could be a winner take all type of contest. GO POKES!

At 6:30 on the SECN The Fighting Texas Aggies and LSU Tigers coming to you live from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. Let me take this opportunity to let my dear LSU family and friends know just how excited this Aggie is to be going into Tiger Stadium after you have previously lost three games in a row; your coach has a U-Haul waiting in front of his house, you get to “welcome” your former defensive coordinator and LAST and certainly not LEAST, you are not allowing The Fighting Texas Aggie Band to attend. Well, those are certainly reasons to be concerned.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Kyle Field has a collage of all of the SEC stadiums.

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BTHO – LSU!

 

Monday, November 23, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

 

Monday, November 23, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

We’re number 1! So are we! We’re Number 1! So are we! So who is Number One?

Trivia Question for Monday – Who is most remembered for saying “What a revolting development this is?”

Who will be number one tomorrow when The Selection Committee meets? My psychic abilities say Clemson, Alabama, Iowa and Notre Dame. YUK!

The Creating Chaos Award goes to Baylor who whipped previously unbeaten Oklahoma State to throw the Big 12 Conference into chaos. It also creates an ESPN Game Day in Stillwater, OK next week for a Bedlam Game for the ages between Oklahoma State University and Oklahoma University (OU). This game is big when there is nothing on the line. Go Pokes!

The Baylor Bears meet TCU in what once was and still might be the Showdown of the Big 12. Doesn’t matter. The Big 12 isn’t going to the National Playoffs. Larry Culpepper told me and he invented the playoff system.

Michigan State takes down previously unbeaten Ohio State 17-13. Hard to stay number one.

The What’s the Point Award is shared by Oklahoma for their one point victory over ailing and falling TCU 30-29 and Mississippi State over Arkansas 51-50.

The Alabama Junior Varsity wins over Charleston Southern by 56-6 taking home The Cupcake Award. The Varsity Tide is taking its vitamins in preparation for the Iron Bowl against last place in the SEC West Auburn.

The Big Sarcastic Thank You Award goes to Ole Miss for giving LSU a third defeat in a row. Pissing off LSU before the Texas Aggies arrive in Baton Rouge is most appreciated. Just a little FYI to the Tigers – you don’t let The Texas Aggie Band come to the game – this could easily turn into We’re All Pissed Game.

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Mike the Tiger

The Texas Aggies shut out the Vanderbilt Commodores 25-0 and  both teams win the Ugly Uniform Awards. Too difficult to distinguish between teams. Finally Chavis deserves a paycheck.

The We Almost Counted You Out Award goes to Stanford. Whatever you got, whether it is your mascot – the color Cardinal or the strange looking Tree or the crazy band. Whatever you got, get those brilliant minds going and invent something to beat Notre Dame next week.

“What a revolting development this is.” Stan Laurel to Oliver Hardy. I think they are both on The Selection Committee.

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

 

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

There are only two games left in the regular season and they are like a Burger King order – Whoppers! Bowl Games are on the line; conference championships are at stake and all hell could break loose depending on the outcomes.

The morning begins @ 11:00 with #9 Michigan State and #3 Ohio State on ABC. An upset by the Spartans in the Land Grant College Bowl could create chaos for The Selection Committee. Go Spartans.

@ 2:30 #1 Clemson and Wake Forest on ESPN2. Yawn. Let me know the outcome.

@ 2:30 # 15 LSU and #22 Ole Miss in Oxford. Hotty Toddy . This is a huge rivalry. Eat your heart out LSU Fans. Look what I have in my possession – a commemorative shirt from the 1958 LSU National Championship. And yes, it is signed by Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon and it is signed by the player who threw the block springing Cannon down the sidelines against the Rebels for the winning touchdown, my wonderful cousin Donnie Daye. Geaux Tigers. Hang tough DD. FYI – this is why I am DRD and not DD. DD was already taken in the family.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 004 - Copy (600x800)

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

Heisman Trophy Winner – Billy Cannon 8.10.2014

@3:00 #2 Alabama plays Charleston Southern on the SECN. Please pass the cupcakes.

Night Falls and more screens are needed to keep up with these Whoppers.

@ 6:30 on NBCSN – in the Catholic Bowl the Catholics of # 4/5 Notre Dame meet the Catholics of Boston College in Boston. What a “mass” this could turn out to be.

@ 6:30 the #10 Baylor Bears at 9-1 meet the undefeated 10-0 Oklahoma State Cowboys in Stillwater, OK on Fox. This could have serious implications for The Big 12, throw The Selection Committee into chaos and set up a Bedlam Contest between Oklahoma State and OU for the ages. Since I know there will be family there, I am anxious to see who wears green and gold and who wears orange and black.

@7:00 #18 TCU vs # 7OU on ABC from Norman Oklahoma. The Frogs are sliding and Sooners are rising. If TCU’s QB Boykin is not cleared to play, Boomer Sooner will played ad nausea – like they do not do all the time anyway.

@ 6:00 we have Arkansas and Mississippi State on ESPN from Fayetteville, Ark. One never knows what those Razorbacks will do. Perhaps they can win in regulation.

@ 6:30 The Fighting Texas Aggies visit the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville, TN on SECN. Did you know that Vanderbilt University is the only altruistic contribution that Commodore Vanderbilt made? All of the other Robber Barons of the day spend millions on altruistic endeavors, but not the Commodore.

Helmets

BTHO Vanderbilt.

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

To paraphrase The Grateful Dead – What a long strange, football weekend it has been.

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Little Green Men invaded. Looks like a Big Green Man.

In keeping with music our awards program today is brought to you by Paul Simon’s Slip Sliding Away as we saw many teams’ championship hopes slide away with a loss.

The Awards for Championship Hopes that Slip Slided away go to:

  • Baylor lost to the Sooners of OU – 44-34.
  • LSU lost to the Arkansas Razorbacks 31-14. And the Razorbacks won in regulation with no OT.
  • Stanford lost to the Ducks of Oregon 38-36.
  • Utah falls to Arizona 30-37.

This just in – if your uniform is a variation of the color RED, please report The Playoff Committee. This includes, the top four according to Dr. Saturday – Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama and Oklahoma State. Larry Culpepper would like to see you. Notre Dame please stand by as an alternate. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/oklahoma-state-and-notre-dame-move-up-in-ap-poll-192157357.html

Other awards go to:

The Burning Couch Award for “Couches, couches burning bright” goes to West Virginia. I know it is Tiger, tiger burning bright” by William Blake. But tigers did not burn bright anywhere except for Clemson. And I did not see how many couches were set afire with the West Virginia victory over THE University of Texas.

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SS University of Texas

TCU survived lowly Kansas 23 -17. But TCU does win the Ugly Uniforms Award. I am not sure what color the uniforms were but they did prove great hiding when you crapped in them when Boykin went down. Let’s hope he is OK. What color were your helmets? Pimp Car Purple?

The Texas Aggies who appear to continue to have a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season, win the Bigger, Stronger, Faster Award for playing with West Carolina like a catamount plays with its prey before winning 41-17.

The last award goes to the OU player who was ejected from the game for kicking a Baylor player in the facemask. He wins the Social Media Award for Poor Sportsmanship and Stupidity with his suggestion to the Baylor crowd that they have sexual intercourse with themselves. Remember Dude, the camera is always on!

Happy Monday.

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

  • Florida and South Carolina
  • Kansas and TCU
  • Ohio State and Illinois
  • THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at    #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their  record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

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In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

 

Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

The Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word: “kakistocracy.” It is a noun meaning a government by the worst persons, a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Since ever one seems to think the worst persons are already in the government or are running for office, I wanted to offer enlightenment and new vocabulary words to all sides. Please feel free to use this and any other intelligent sounding words, since none of you seem to have many to start with.

Ghosts. Goblins. Warlocks and Witches. And Halloween is still a week away. This was a most strange weekend in college football.

Let’s begin with the Flood Bowls along Interstate 35 and travel north.

While the rains and floods may have inundated Austin and DKR Memorial Stadium, there were several bright spots of hope and sunshine. THE University wins the Lazerous Award appearing to rise from the dead.

I asked my roomie to take a picture and I would post it when THE University began a winning streak. This was earlier in the season because she has the good sense to come in out of the rain.

Longhorn Band (800x600)

Photo by Martha 2015 – aka Roomie

Moving north where the rains were really falling over McClain Stadium in Waco, The Bears win the “45 points are the new 60 plus in the rain.” I hope The Committee in November has a Flood Criteria. It is Baylor and the Baptists do like a good dunking, but that was an Ark building flood.

Oklahoma had no problem with Texas Tech. Coach Kliff, what’s with the new hairdo? I am not current on the fashion trends coming out of Lubbock but that new hair cut looks like an Aggie Fish Corp of Cadets haircut – a bad one. Was your hair, or lack of it, supposed to look that way?

The Michael Jackson Thriller Award is shared by Auburn and Arkansas and Duke and Virginia Tech. What are the odds there would be two games with four overtimes? What are the odds of that happening? Please have Dr. Sheldon Cooper do the math.

The Yogi Berra – It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over Award goes to The Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech who rambled down the field after a Florida State missed field goal that would have won the game. Georgia Tech ran for the winning touchdown as time expired.

The Utah Utes fall from the undefeated ranks as the USC Trojans opened a lethal virus on them. The Utes win the Beware the Trojan Horse Award.

To the Texas Aggies, I award the Hotty Toddy and Kiss my Magnolia Blossom Award because the Ole Miss Rebels certainly did.

To Kyler Murray I am awarding the Coach/Player Etiquette Book of Football Practice Manners. Screaming the F word to and about your offensive coordinator during practice is indeed a bench sitting practice issue.

The Aggies also receive the Free Tire and Wheel Check because the wheels are coming off the bus again.

Perhaps I should post a classified ad in the newspaper or post something on Craig’s List.  WANTED: Quarterback. Please send video and application to The Texas Athletic Department; Attn: K. Sumlin.

And last, but not least – to the Alabama Crimson Tide, I award The Poopy Undies Award, the CPR Award and The Survivor Award for the fourth quarter comeback win over Tennessee. You also win The Doors and Jim Morrison’s The Alabama Song that is also known As The Whiskey Bar. I know this is how you felt while in Knoxville and upon leaving Saturday night. Something tells me you were not drinking Tennessee bourbon at the Whiskey Bar.

The Alabama Song

Well, show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

Show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

For if we don’t find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die I tell you we must die I tell you,

I tell you I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama

We now must say goodbye

We’ve lost our good old mama

And must have whiskey Oh, you know why!

Just think – next Saturday is Halloween. Be ready for anything.

Finally, to Oklahoma State and Delaware University as tragedies marred both of their homecoming parades. All are in our thoughts.

OSU with ribbon

Thank you Kristen for the picture. I am sad for all of you and the Cowboy Nation.