Tuesday, January 13, 2015 – And The Winners Are?
“I Am Born.” That is the title of chapter one of what novel? Extra credit if you know the author.
Before I get to my last college football awards until next season, there is one more birthday to celebrate. MINE. Four score and seven years ago… No wait. That is The Gettysburg Address. Three score and six years ago, I was born on this day. That makes me 36, right?
Today marks the beginning of the 84th Texas Legislative session or as we referred to it – The Silly Season. Great niece Twin 2 begins her job as an assistant clerk with the Senate Transportation Committee. I sent her a tweet that says “Good luck. Observe. Learn. And keep your voter registration card current.” Do I miss being a bureaucrat during session? I do miss the excitement, but I do not miss the long, grueling hours and the frustration. But I must say when I saw the email “First Reading” that begins the tracking of bills, my heart did flutter a bit. But I shall try to channel in the great, gone too soon, Molly Ivins and write about the session. Just a preview – today, at the opening session, armed gun activists are expected to gather outside the capitol.
And now – May I have the envelope please?
My award winners for the inaugural college football playoff are:
First runner-up award goes to Oregon. Duck Duck Sink. In the event the first place winner is unable to full her duties, (like some antiquated NCAA eligibility rule will surface) will Oregon get to be the National Champion?
And the 2015 National Champion of NCAA, college football, Division I is THE Ohio State University. What a way to dot that “I.” This in spite of the fact the flag bearers misspelled OHIO by forgetting the second “O” before the game began.
I had a three-way tie for most valuable players. While running back Ezekiel Elliot had a game of biblical proportions and safety Tyvis Powell led the team with nine tackles, my Most Valuable Player Award goes to Twelve Gauge, Cardale Jones. Did you see the arm on that guy? There is a reason his teammates call him twelve-gauge like a shotgun. That and the fact he is huge and fast and extremely mobile. And he was the THIRD string QB?
Congratulations to The Ohio State University, but I still do not know what those little stickers on your helmets are. Nevertheless, everybody should have a helmet filled with them for a job well done. And you did it through hard work, facing epic obstacles and never, never gave up or quit believing in yourselves. Well done, gentlemen.
But now for the true winner$ of the fir$t college playoff$ $erie$:
- NIKE and
- Dr. Pepper aka Larry Culpepper.
Larry, will we see you ad nauseum during March Madness?
Parting shots – I see where Texas A&M has released quarterback Kenny Hill to explore his options. Rumor has TCU in the mix. Good luck, Kenny. I am sure there are flower beds in front of bars and restaurants in Fort Worth. As the Aggies say, “Highway 6 runs both ways” meaning “if you can’t cut it at Texas A&M, go somewhere else.”
And to Johnny Football – You had that name trademarked or copyrighted. Do you plan to have Johnny Screw Up trademarked or copyrighted too? Get it together, Johnny! The partying is over, until you can take the Browns to a descent NFL season.
And to Kyle Allen, who tweeted “I want that feeling” – Fighting Texas Aggies everywhere want the feeling of a national championship too. Take us there. BTHO – Arizona State, September 5, 2015
Chapter One from Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield (not the magician) is titled “I Am Born.”