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Friday, August 18, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Posted on August 18, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 18, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Before the Snark enters, let us all take a moment to send our thoughts and prayers to the people of Spain. Not to exclude any group, but please watch over the Texas Aggie Women’s basketball team and all of the other teams visiting Europe.

And now appearing in regal snarkiness, here is The Snark to dish on college football.

I can’t wait for the Ugliest Uniforms for the Week Award this year. Here is putting Mississippi State on notice that the Aggies will be wearing color changing uniforms. That’s right. It is some kind of weird threads that the Adidas people dreamed up that allegedly changes from maroon to black and then glows depending on the stadium lights. I hope this works better than last year’s attempt to make the numbers glow and no one, including the broadcasters could see the numbers.

But we are still 25 days away from some of the first kick offs. I am happy the Sam Houston Bearkats open their season this month. SHSU is ranked #3 behind James Madison and North Dakota in that division’s polls. JM and ND have combined to the win the last National Championships. Go Kats! Beat the hell out of the Richmond, Spiders. Yes, the mascot of Richmond is a spider.

Let The Snark provide a summer summary of players. Here is what has happened during college football thus far this summer. He:

Transferred to:

A Junior College
Another school to go to graduate school
The county jail.

He hurt his:

Leg, knee, foot, shoulder, toe etc.

He was picked up for:

DUI
Passed out in flower bed in bar district
Assault
Assault and battery
Assault with a battery
Theft
Drug use
Drug possession
Illegal weapon possession
Being stupid and throwing away opportunities!

My apologies that The Snark only has time to cover the summary of the players from Florida schools. Roll Tide over Florida State. BOOM! And Snark out!

Monday, October13, 2014 – Columbus Day

Posted on October 13, 2014 | Leave a comment

Monday, October13, 2014 – Columbus Day

Well Hotty Toddy and Sweet Magnolia blossoms! I am just going to fetch my hoop skirt, pin a gardenia in my hair, grab a mint julep, go sit on the veranda and watch the rest of the football season from there. I hope you indeed saved your Confederate money because apparently The South has risen again. Who knew The Egg Bowl could be for a spot in the Final Four? No team looked as solid as Mississippi State and Ole Miss did this weekend.

Before we have the weekly Monday awards ceremony, let me first say this to the Baylor fans. I believe you misheard what God was telling you for almost the entire game. He was saying “You really need to get to PLAYING!” Not “You really need to get to PRAYING!” Thankfully, you heard correctly as the game neared the end.

And now the Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards – Week 7

The Turn Over Award – This was a tough category because there were many candidates for the Butterfinger Trophy, but I am going with Auburn. The Iron Bowl just got more interesting.

The Point Award goes to Alabama for blocking the Arkansas point after touchdown try and winning by a single point. See you in Tuscaloosa next Saturday.

The Won the Stats, but Lost the Game Award goes to Arkansas. Sooey Pigs! Tough in the SEC, isn’t it?

The Self-Inflicted Mistakes or The Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda Award goes to The University of Texas for hanging with Oklahoma, but still losing. But there were a few bright spots. Stay Strong.

The Maroon Out Blow Out Award goes to Texas A&M. As you know the Aggies never lose; we just run out of time. Too bad the clock even started in this one.

The Old South Award goes to Ole Miss. Hell, even the quarterback’s name is Bo. Anyone with Southern roots knows that is short for Beauregard. If Ole Miss wins a National Championship, you can add Bo’s name to the wall with other Ole Miss Saints such as Saint Archie and Saint Eli from the House of Manning or Saint William from the House of Faulkner. I do not know what position Faulkner played.

The R C Slocum Silver Linings Playbook Award goes to the coaching staff at Texas A&M. You are down 35 to 7 in the fourth quarter, with 9:20 left and you run the football. True, you were not accomplishing anything in the passing game either.

The Miracle on the Water Award goes to Baylor for pulling out a victory. God? I understand you could only do one miracle on The Brazos. I would like to put in my request for You to think about Tuscaloosa next Saturday for another miracle.

The What the Hell Just Happened Award goes to TCU. The Frogs had the Bears, but got squashed in the end.

The Missed Kick Award – Arizona missed a field goal with 17 seconds left giving USC a way to win and shake up the Pac 12.

And now something new this week – The Opinion – Mine.

Why in the Hell does Todd Gurley of Georgia receive an indefinite suspension for violating NCAA sign for payment autograph rules when last year’s Heisman Trophy winner, Jameis Winston, gets to play until Florida State University conducts its own investigation regarding violation of the student code of conduct for allegations of sexual assault? AKA – rape. Not to mention the theft or the just stupid conduct. If theTexas God of Good Looking, Mathew McConaughey, can deliver a speech to The University of Texas and say his, hopefully copyrighted, “Alright, Alright, Alright” maybe he should go talk to Florida State and say “Not Alright, Not Alright, Not Alright.” Not Alright, by any stretch of the imagination. It is about justice, Florida State University. Not your football team.

Besides this is going to make me pull for Notre Dame next Saturday to move FSU even further away from the number one and now number two ranking.