Tag Archives: LSU

Monday, November 30, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 30, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 30, 2015 –

The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

You are fired. You are hired. You are on the hot seat. We were really just kidding about Les Miles. It is College Head Football Coach Turnover Time.

Will Clemson, Oklahoma, Alabama and Michigan State please report to The Committee room? Your press conferences and commercials with Larry Culpepper and The Cheese Round for The National championship are to be taped after your Conference Championship games next Saturday. OU, you can go Sooner than the other three since they are not yet locked in and “The Big 12 wins their championship on the field.” Obviously, on the field in the ice in Stillwater over Oklahoma State.

But back to the weekend.

TCU/Baylor – The Down Pour Award – or The Siren Award. TCU, please do not employ the siren during a down pour in a driving wind and rain storm. It was the third time before I realized it wasn’t a tornado warning. I guess the Frogs really do like the rain.

Here’s to Chris Johnson III from Baylor – it was your first start; the Big 12 Title is on the line, it is played in a driving rain storm in the opponent’s stadium. Talk about Baptism by fire. Nevertheless, well done. Not even the real Vikings, let alone a former Bryan Viking could have weathered that storm.

The Palmetto Bowl – The South Carolina Gamecocks rose to the occasion to give Clemson a bit more than expected. Go UNC!

Poopy Undies and CPR Award goes to Alabama for scaring the fan base against Auburn but The Tide did bring home The Iron Bow Trophy. It was ugly but there is no room in the WIN column for comments or style points. Roll Tide over Florida.

The Best Cartoon Head Exploding Award goes to Will Muschamp of Auburn. Coach Dicktionery Muschamp also wins The Articulation Award for making his parents, teachers and church going people proud for his way with words. He “religiously questioned something about God’s dam building abilities and then questioned the referee’s mother’s coitus status” and received an additional 15 yard penalty making the total yardage for Unsportsmanlike Conduct 30 yards. Palmer and Mushburger, we know you are both stupid, but even a five year old could have read Muschamp’s lips.

Just when I was about to award The Ugly Uniform Award to Oregon for wearing green and yellow glow in the dark uniforms, the Aggies came on TV. When did the A&M colors become Butt Ugly and Black? The numbers looked like iron on foil decals. Just say no to black.

In addition to the offensive uniforms, the Aggie offense looked pretty offensive, but here’s to Tra Carson.  He’s the first Aggie running back to break a thousand yards since 2011 (Cyrus Gray) and the first to do so in the SEC. Well done, Tra. Perhaps next year you will have a real coordinator for the offense.

To the Tigers of LSU – you are awarded The Best Psych Out Award for whatever is going on over there with Les Miles. When you figure it out, let me know.

It must be the same decision makers who decided to let Three Doors Down play with the LSU band rather than give the Texas Aggie Band time.  Here’s What I’m Thinking – next Thanksgiving, you will be staying three doors down from College Station – in Hearne.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)Fighting Texas Aggie Band

Well, there are 16 games left and then we begin Bowl Season. There are 40 college bowl games. I am sure one will be kicking off near you soon. The question then becomes – Who Cares? Besides Nike and Adidas?

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Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU

Posted on November 27, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU!

Especially if your team is THE University of Texas. So throw me a tortilla and kneel down as if in Victory Formation. Burnt Orange! Raiders 48. Horns 45. Who is up next for THE University? Baylor. Is there a quarterback left between the two of you? Will both of you be playing in the Scott and White Hospital parking lot? Seriously, all get well soon.

But who is up for The Committee to review today and tomorrow?

Kicking off at 11:00 on ABC today we have at #15 The University of Houston and #21 Navy. Ooh. That Major Applewhite guy that is U of H offensive coordinator and quarterback coach “he looking pretty good now, huh tu?”

At 2:30 on ABC it is Nebraska and #4 Iowa in Lincoln. I will so promise to wear a yellow corn cob on my head if Nebraska can upset Iowa.

At 3:00 on FS1 it is always interesting to see what ensemble the Ducks of Oregon (aka The University of Nike) will wear against their arch rival the Beavers of Oregon State.

And coming to you live on ESPN at 6:30 the game we all anticipated, but then…TCU hosts Baylor and without the stars from either team, who knows what will happen. Sic ‘Em Bears.

Bear with Foot

Come Saturday – Let’s start the day with a The Big Chill game at 11:00 am on ABC between Michigan and Ohio State. Go Wolverines.

It is the Iron Bowl @ 2:30 on CBS from Auburn, Alabama – ROLL TIDE! Take no prisoners.

Does anyone know the Stanford Fight Song? It’s probably something like “Oh the square root of pi to the 78th decimal place is what we sing, because we all are geniuses and our mascot is a tree.” Just beat Notre Dame on Fox @ 6:30.

In what promises to be the icing on the cake, and not frosting, but ice, should be the Bedlam Game in Stillwater. ESPN Game Day will be there. So whatever head gear Corsor puts on, the other team will win between OU Sooners and Oklahoma State Cowboys at 7:00 pm on ABC. Could be a winner take all type of contest. GO POKES!

At 6:30 on the SECN The Fighting Texas Aggies and LSU Tigers coming to you live from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. Let me take this opportunity to let my dear LSU family and friends know just how excited this Aggie is to be going into Tiger Stadium after you have previously lost three games in a row; your coach has a U-Haul waiting in front of his house, you get to “welcome” your former defensive coordinator and LAST and certainly not LEAST, you are not allowing The Fighting Texas Aggie Band to attend. Well, those are certainly reasons to be concerned.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Kyle Field has a collage of all of the SEC stadiums.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)

BTHO – LSU!

 

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Monday, November 23, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 23, 2015 | 3 comments

 

Monday, November 23, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

We’re number 1! So are we! We’re Number 1! So are we! So who is Number One?

Trivia Question for Monday – Who is most remembered for saying “What a revolting development this is?”

Who will be number one tomorrow when The Selection Committee meets? My psychic abilities say Clemson, Alabama, Iowa and Notre Dame. YUK!

The Creating Chaos Award goes to Baylor who whipped previously unbeaten Oklahoma State to throw the Big 12 Conference into chaos. It also creates an ESPN Game Day in Stillwater, OK next week for a Bedlam Game for the ages between Oklahoma State University and Oklahoma University (OU). This game is big when there is nothing on the line. Go Pokes!

The Baylor Bears meet TCU in what once was and still might be the Showdown of the Big 12. Doesn’t matter. The Big 12 isn’t going to the National Playoffs. Larry Culpepper told me and he invented the playoff system.

Michigan State takes down previously unbeaten Ohio State 17-13. Hard to stay number one.

The What’s the Point Award is shared by Oklahoma for their one point victory over ailing and falling TCU 30-29 and Mississippi State over Arkansas 51-50.

The Alabama Junior Varsity wins over Charleston Southern by 56-6 taking home The Cupcake Award. The Varsity Tide is taking its vitamins in preparation for the Iron Bowl against last place in the SEC West Auburn.

The Big Sarcastic Thank You Award goes to Ole Miss for giving LSU a third defeat in a row. Pissing off LSU before the Texas Aggies arrive in Baton Rouge is most appreciated. Just a little FYI to the Tigers – you don’t let The Texas Aggie Band come to the game – this could easily turn into We’re All Pissed Game.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)

Mike the Tiger

The Texas Aggies shut out the Vanderbilt Commodores 25-0 and  both teams win the Ugly Uniform Awards. Too difficult to distinguish between teams. Finally Chavis deserves a paycheck.

The We Almost Counted You Out Award goes to Stanford. Whatever you got, whether it is your mascot – the color Cardinal or the strange looking Tree or the crazy band. Whatever you got, get those brilliant minds going and invent something to beat Notre Dame next week.

“What a revolting development this is.” Stan Laurel to Oliver Hardy. I think they are both on The Selection Committee.

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Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

Posted on November 20, 2015 | Leave a comment

 

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

There are only two games left in the regular season and they are like a Burger King order – Whoppers! Bowl Games are on the line; conference championships are at stake and all hell could break loose depending on the outcomes.

The morning begins @ 11:00 with #9 Michigan State and #3 Ohio State on ABC. An upset by the Spartans in the Land Grant College Bowl could create chaos for The Selection Committee. Go Spartans.

@ 2:30 #1 Clemson and Wake Forest on ESPN2. Yawn. Let me know the outcome.

@ 2:30 # 15 LSU and #22 Ole Miss in Oxford. Hotty Toddy . This is a huge rivalry. Eat your heart out LSU Fans. Look what I have in my possession – a commemorative shirt from the 1958 LSU National Championship. And yes, it is signed by Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon and it is signed by the player who threw the block springing Cannon down the sidelines against the Rebels for the winning touchdown, my wonderful cousin Donnie Daye. Geaux Tigers. Hang tough DD. FYI – this is why I am DRD and not DD. DD was already taken in the family.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 004 - Copy (600x800)

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

Heisman Trophy Winner – Billy Cannon 8.10.2014

@3:00 #2 Alabama plays Charleston Southern on the SECN. Please pass the cupcakes.

Night Falls and more screens are needed to keep up with these Whoppers.

@ 6:30 on NBCSN – in the Catholic Bowl the Catholics of # 4/5 Notre Dame meet the Catholics of Boston College in Boston. What a “mass” this could turn out to be.

@ 6:30 the #10 Baylor Bears at 9-1 meet the undefeated 10-0 Oklahoma State Cowboys in Stillwater, OK on Fox. This could have serious implications for The Big 12, throw The Selection Committee into chaos and set up a Bedlam Contest between Oklahoma State and OU for the ages. Since I know there will be family there, I am anxious to see who wears green and gold and who wears orange and black.

@7:00 #18 TCU vs # 7OU on ABC from Norman Oklahoma. The Frogs are sliding and Sooners are rising. If TCU’s QB Boykin is not cleared to play, Boomer Sooner will played ad nausea – like they do not do all the time anyway.

@ 6:00 we have Arkansas and Mississippi State on ESPN from Fayetteville, Ark. One never knows what those Razorbacks will do. Perhaps they can win in regulation.

@ 6:30 The Fighting Texas Aggies visit the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville, TN on SECN. Did you know that Vanderbilt University is the only altruistic contribution that Commodore Vanderbilt made? All of the other Robber Barons of the day spend millions on altruistic endeavors, but not the Commodore.

Helmets

BTHO Vanderbilt.

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Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on November 13, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

  • Florida and South Carolina
  • Kansas and TCU
  • Ohio State and Illinois
  • THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at    #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their  record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

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Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Posted on November 6, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Don’t forget to vote for Gayla for Team Mom of the Year.

http://www2.usafootball.com/poll_management/userpoll/6

It is Separation Weekend in college football. This is when the Big Boy Pads are put on because one loss separates your team from the National Championship Bracket, the Conference championships and your team goes to the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

I am thinking Baylor probably wanted more separation in the score than shown last night against Kansas State. Thirty-one to 24 does not impress The Selection Committee. But the true freshman quarterback was most impressive for Baylor.

But what games will you watch tomorrow?

Texas Tech and West Virginia have the joy of the 11:00 AM game on FS1 in the meeting of mediocracy in Morgantown, West Virginia. Tech – those big mounds of dirt are called mountains.

Notre Dame and Pitt line up on ABC at 11:00. A loss could send ND spiraling downward into some depth of Dante’s Inferno or at least to a bowl game in a hot desert setting.

What will impress The Committee will be at 2:30 on Fox with a showdown in Boone Pickens Stadium in Stillwater Oklahoma when unbeaten TCU visits unbeaten Oklahoma State. GO COWBOYS!

OSU Download 178 (600x800)

Pistol Pete

Equally impressive to The Committee will be Florida State and Clemson at 2:30 on ABC from Clemson, South Carolina. I’ve never been one to pull for Florida State, but Go Noles!

The separations continue in the SEC at 2:30 on CBS. There is a big HOG calling from every team in the SEC as the Razorbacks travel to Oxford, Mississippi and The Grove to attempt the upset of Ole Miss. An upset by the Hogs could set up some very interesting scenarios.

In the evening, creeping up the College Football Polls are the Sooners of OU at 6:00 on ESPNU against Iowa State. A big score from the Fabulous Baker Boy’s team could attract the eyes of The Committee.

In the evening keep a watchful out on the States – as in Ohio State and Michigan State. The Committee will be watching.

The separation Saturday for last place in The Big 12 Conference is THE University of Texas and Kansas. Kansas can get out of last place and THE University can safely secure it’s place in the unfamiliar middle section of the Big 12 rankings.Longhorn Band (800x600)

The game will be broadcasts on the Longhorn Network at 7:00. Unless you are wearing a burnt oranges shirt, everyone else will be watching Texas A&M and Auburn and/or Alabama and LSU.

In another game for separation for last place in the SEC West we have Auburn and the ever-so-tactful, Will Muschamp, visiting the new Kyle Field at 6:30 on the SEC Network. A loss for Auburn pretty much seals them in last place SEC – West. A loss for the Aggies could mean the difference between the Aggies playing Notre Dame in some desert state or in the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

Sully's Boots

BTHO Auburn

And now for the Big Separation. Even with 100% precipitation predicted in Tuscaloosa, the Tide will NOT Roll over the Tigers. Alabama will be soggy toast. And this weekend my Alabama friends, I cannot be your friend.

Sabin sign (600x800)

Here is why – I am going with The Tigers and the Family DNA. Come on, Bama, you know you can’t catch them Boys from The Bayou. They know how to run from them allimugatros in bayou. You thank they gonna be scared? Nah. They done gonna put dat voodoo on you! And I am making me some gumbo in anticipation of the celebration. Run Leonard Run!

GEAUX TIGERS!

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Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

Ship wreck 2 (800x537)

In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

 

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Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 26, 2015 | 3 comments

Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

The Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word: “kakistocracy.” It is a noun meaning a government by the worst persons, a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Since ever one seems to think the worst persons are already in the government or are running for office, I wanted to offer enlightenment and new vocabulary words to all sides. Please feel free to use this and any other intelligent sounding words, since none of you seem to have many to start with.

Ghosts. Goblins. Warlocks and Witches. And Halloween is still a week away. This was a most strange weekend in college football.

Let’s begin with the Flood Bowls along Interstate 35 and travel north.

While the rains and floods may have inundated Austin and DKR Memorial Stadium, there were several bright spots of hope and sunshine. THE University wins the Lazerous Award appearing to rise from the dead.

I asked my roomie to take a picture and I would post it when THE University began a winning streak. This was earlier in the season because she has the good sense to come in out of the rain.

Longhorn Band (800x600)

Photo by Martha 2015 – aka Roomie

Moving north where the rains were really falling over McClain Stadium in Waco, The Bears win the “45 points are the new 60 plus in the rain.” I hope The Committee in November has a Flood Criteria. It is Baylor and the Baptists do like a good dunking, but that was an Ark building flood.

Oklahoma had no problem with Texas Tech. Coach Kliff, what’s with the new hairdo? I am not current on the fashion trends coming out of Lubbock but that new hair cut looks like an Aggie Fish Corp of Cadets haircut – a bad one. Was your hair, or lack of it, supposed to look that way?

The Michael Jackson Thriller Award is shared by Auburn and Arkansas and Duke and Virginia Tech. What are the odds there would be two games with four overtimes? What are the odds of that happening? Please have Dr. Sheldon Cooper do the math.

The Yogi Berra – It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over Award goes to The Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech who rambled down the field after a Florida State missed field goal that would have won the game. Georgia Tech ran for the winning touchdown as time expired.

The Utah Utes fall from the undefeated ranks as the USC Trojans opened a lethal virus on them. The Utes win the Beware the Trojan Horse Award.

To the Texas Aggies, I award the Hotty Toddy and Kiss my Magnolia Blossom Award because the Ole Miss Rebels certainly did.

To Kyler Murray I am awarding the Coach/Player Etiquette Book of Football Practice Manners. Screaming the F word to and about your offensive coordinator during practice is indeed a bench sitting practice issue.

The Aggies also receive the Free Tire and Wheel Check because the wheels are coming off the bus again.

Perhaps I should post a classified ad in the newspaper or post something on Craig’s List.  WANTED: Quarterback. Please send video and application to The Texas Athletic Department; Attn: K. Sumlin.

And last, but not least – to the Alabama Crimson Tide, I award The Poopy Undies Award, the CPR Award and The Survivor Award for the fourth quarter comeback win over Tennessee. You also win The Doors and Jim Morrison’s The Alabama Song that is also known As The Whiskey Bar. I know this is how you felt while in Knoxville and upon leaving Saturday night. Something tells me you were not drinking Tennessee bourbon at the Whiskey Bar.

The Alabama Song

Well, show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

Show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

For if we don’t find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die I tell you we must die I tell you,

I tell you I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama

We now must say goodbye

We’ve lost our good old mama

And must have whiskey Oh, you know why!

Just think – next Saturday is Halloween. Be ready for anything.

Finally, to Oklahoma State and Delaware University as tragedies marred both of their homecoming parades. All are in our thoughts.

OSU with ribbon

Thank you Kristen for the picture. I am sad for all of you and the Cowboy Nation.

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Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on October 23, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football – Game On

Garrett2 (800x525)

First – my apology to Myles Garrett for misspelling his name last week.

The Schedule today begins with The Rain Barrel Bowls up and down Texas Interstate 35.

Starting in Austin and playing @ 11:00 on Fox 1 is THE University of Texas and Kansas State. Tell the Wildcats they are no longer in Kansas and give them a good hooking of the Horns. I have your photograph ready to post Roomie signifying a home win and winning streak for the Horns in DKR Memorial Stadium! Stay Strong and get it done!

Traveling north to Waco we find the Iowa State Weather Patterns visiting Waco and playing Baylor @ 11:00 on ESPN. I understand one is to wear green and gold depending on your ticket location. This will make McLane Stadium green and gold striped. I know you can get yellow (gold) rain slickers at Academy, but can you get green rain slickers? Is Nike working on that? Surely with that many uniforms and shades of green Nike has got something in the warehouse they can Fed-Ex to Waco for the fans.

Crossing the state line into Norman along I-35 we find Oklahoma and Texas Tech @ 2:30 on ESPN2. I wonder what Baker and Stoops and Coach Kliff and the Red Raiders have planned against and up their respectively sleeves besides a rough history.

Taking a right turn and headed toward Stillwater we find the Cowboys of Oklahoma State playing Kansas @ 2:30 on Fox 1 and slowing creeping up in the Big 12. Go Pokes. It’s Kansas. Remember they play basketball like Kentucky does.

Remember there are only 10 teams in the Big 12 and eight are playing. So that leaves TCU and WVa having the weekend off.

Now to the games that actually have meaning (the only ones worth watching) so that means the SEC teams because Ohio State plays Rutgers.

Opposite the Rain Barrel Bowls on the SECN @ 11:00 am will be Auburn and Arkansas with last place up for grabs in the SEC West. Do you like bacon on your burger Uncle Will Muschamp?

What once could have been interesting is now Alabama and Tennessee in Tuscaloosa @ 2:30. Oh no – the game is on CBS. I hope you do not get the Can’t Broadcast S##% announcers. Turn on the radio broadcast to avoid.

And going out with The Tide here is a little Thank You shout out to Coach Sabin regarding last week’s visit to Aggieland –

“You know, this is the first place we’ve played for a long, long time, that we never got booed when we came out,” Saban said. “First place. I’m telling you. It’s a really nice facility. They had 105,000 people. And they cheered their tail off for their team. And they made it hard for us to play.” ESPN quotes somewhere on their application.

At 3:00 on the SEC Network will be another game for last place in the SEC East with Missouri and Vanderbilt. Take a nap, but be up and ready for the only games of competition beginning at 6:00.

On ESPNU @ 6:00 we find Western Kentucky visiting Baton Rouge hosted by Leonard Fournette’s team the LSU Tigers. Run Leonard run. With each step you get a bit closer to going to New York to get a big trophy.

At 6:30 in another game of why are play this team? This is Mississippi State and Kentucky on the SECN. This is not Western Kentucky which I suppose is geographically west of the Kentucky that Mississippi State is playing. I understand the men’s basketball team at Kentucky is quite good. Yes – Number 1.

At 6:30 on Fox is the Utah Utes (I just love saying that) and USC Trojans in Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. If Utah should become number two in The Committee’s ranking in November, will they be “the two Utes?” (My Cousin Vinny)

But the only game of significance is the Cutbirth Bowl (as in William Cutbirth Faulkner) on ESPN from Oxford Mississippi @ 6:00 when the Ole Miss Rebels host The Fighting Texas Aggies. It is an elimination game for the SEC West title. Should make visits to Baton Rouge interesting for both teams. But one game at a time.

Sully's Boots

So Howdy Damnit and Hotty Toddy and BTHO Ole Miss.

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Monday October 12, 2015 – Columbus Day Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 12, 2015 | 2 comments

Monday October 12, 2015 – Columbus Day Monday After Saturday College Football Awards –

Our awards today are sponsored by the article “A” for those who become scared when they see large, unfamiliar words and stop reading.

Mike the Tiger

The first award is the Class Act Award. This award goes to LSU’s Leonard Fournette for his articulate and well-done post-game interview showing his support for the people of South Carolina and offering his game jersey up for auction with proceeds going toward the flood relief efforts. Perhaps every impact player in the SEC could make an offer.

LSU wins the Best Southern Hospitality Award for being the Visiting Team in Baton Rouge. I thought it was most hospitable for the Tiger Band to play the Gamecock Alma Mater and Fight Song – Especially when you spelled L-S-U on the field while playing them. Sweet.

I suppose no one cared enough to notice last Friday that I got Lawrence and Manhattan, locations of Kansas and Kansas State, respectively, backwards. It obviously did not impact Baylor who gets a Most Points Scored Award for blowing away Kansas 66-7. I did not watch the game in its entirety. Did Kansas score during a Baylor timeout or before Baylor returned to the field after half-time? Note to Kansas – Basketball season officially begins next weekend.

TCU obviously was as confused as I was on Saturday since the Frogs did not show up ONCE again until the closing moments of the game. You win A Poo Poo Undies Award for scaring your fan base and an Activate the Boykin Magic Award. But the magic is becoming shaky causing a Poll Phrog Slipping.

To THE University of Texas, I award The Win One for the BEVO Award for beating Oklahoma. BEVO – I do hope you are feeling better because the team, the coach, THE University and the alums certainly are. Way to go. If you only do it once, this was the game to do it!

To the OU Kicker – Teal Shoes? Fashion Blooper Award going toed you!

The Offensive Fun Fest Award goes to Texas Tech and Iowa State for scoring 66 and 31 points respectively. Uncle Will Muschamp, have you looked at either of these schools? They don’t seem to play much defense either, so may you could be there.

Oklahoma State – you once again receive a Poo-Poo Undies Award to having to win it again in OT.

The Ugly Uniform Award goes to The University of Tennessee. I would never Volunteer to wear that. You looked like orange highlighters or characters from the science fiction movie Tron.

To the Nebraska Cornhuskers – you receive The Heartbreak Again Award for losing for the fourth time in the final seconds of the game as Wisconsin kicked a field goal.

The Individual Heartbreak Award goes to Georgia running back Nick Chubb. Hope you are back in action soon.

The Award for Suddenly on the Radar for teams I did not care about in the beginning, but do now is shared by the following:

  • Michigan – Wolverine Rising.
  • Utah – This is the non-Mormon, or Mormon Alternative to the other one – BYU.
  • Clemson – Tigers
  • Oklahoma State – 5 – 0. Go Pokes! Pistol Pete is silently slipping up on teams.
  • Florida – Chomping in The Swamp.

And last and certainly not least this week for sure:

The Crimson Tide of Alabama rose over those pesky Razorbacks finally drowning them in fourth quarter to win 27-14. This week I award The Tide the Columbus Day, Rand McNally, MapQuest, GPS, and all Navigational Systems Award.

And all points are set toward College Station, Texas and Kyle Field. Your arrival time is estimated to be five days and 43 minutes. Turn left on George Bush Blvd. Your destination is the gigantic stadium on your right. Have a nice day.

And now a Dr. Hunter check for understanding. Our word today was the article “A.” Please give a word that begins with that letter.

ALABAMA.

Good.

Now use it in a sentence.

BTHO ALABAMA!

EXCELLENT!

ag-shirt

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