Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards
The Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word: “kakistocracy.” It is a noun meaning a government by the worst persons, a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Since ever one seems to think the worst persons are already in the government or are running for office, I wanted to offer enlightenment and new vocabulary words to all sides. Please feel free to use this and any other intelligent sounding words, since none of you seem to have many to start with.
Ghosts. Goblins. Warlocks and Witches. And Halloween is still a week away. This was a most strange weekend in college football.
Let’s begin with the Flood Bowls along Interstate 35 and travel north.
While the rains and floods may have inundated Austin and DKR Memorial Stadium, there were several bright spots of hope and sunshine. THE University wins the Lazerous Award appearing to rise from the dead.
I asked my roomie to take a picture and I would post it when THE University began a winning streak. This was earlier in the season because she has the good sense to come in out of the rain.
Moving north where the rains were really falling over McClain Stadium in Waco, The Bears win the “45 points are the new 60 plus in the rain.” I hope The Committee in November has a Flood Criteria. It is Baylor and the Baptists do like a good dunking, but that was an Ark building flood.
Oklahoma had no problem with Texas Tech. Coach Kliff, what’s with the new hairdo? I am not current on the fashion trends coming out of Lubbock but that new hair cut looks like an Aggie Fish Corp of Cadets haircut – a bad one. Was your hair, or lack of it, supposed to look that way?
The Michael Jackson Thriller Award is shared by Auburn and Arkansas and Duke and Virginia Tech. What are the odds there would be two games with four overtimes? What are the odds of that happening? Please have Dr. Sheldon Cooper do the math.
The Yogi Berra – It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over Award goes to The Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech who rambled down the field after a Florida State missed field goal that would have won the game. Georgia Tech ran for the winning touchdown as time expired.
The Utah Utes fall from the undefeated ranks as the USC Trojans opened a lethal virus on them. The Utes win the Beware the Trojan Horse Award.
To the Texas Aggies, I award the Hotty Toddy and Kiss my Magnolia Blossom Award because the Ole Miss Rebels certainly did.
To Kyler Murray I am awarding the Coach/Player Etiquette Book of Football Practice Manners. Screaming the F word to and about your offensive coordinator during practice is indeed a bench sitting practice issue.
The Aggies also receive the Free Tire and Wheel Check because the wheels are coming off the bus again.
Perhaps I should post a classified ad in the newspaper or post something on Craig’s List. WANTED: Quarterback. Please send video and application to The Texas Athletic Department; Attn: K. Sumlin.
And last, but not least – to the Alabama Crimson Tide, I award The Poopy Undies Award, the CPR Award and The Survivor Award for the fourth quarter comeback win over Tennessee. You also win The Doors and Jim Morrison’s The Alabama Song that is also known As The Whiskey Bar. I know this is how you felt while in Knoxville and upon leaving Saturday night. Something tells me you were not drinking Tennessee bourbon at the Whiskey Bar.
The Alabama Song
Well, show me the way To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why
Show me the way To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why
For if we don’t find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die I tell you we must die I tell you,
I tell you I tell you we must die
Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We’ve lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey Oh, you know why!
Just think – next Saturday is Halloween. Be ready for anything.
Finally, to Oklahoma State and Delaware University as tragedies marred both of their homecoming parades. All are in our thoughts.