Tag Archives: Baylor

Friday, September 8, 2023 –  Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Friday, September 8, 2023 –  Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Sorry for the delay in posting today’s Here’s What I’m Thinking. I was day drinking and celebrating the life of Jimmy Buffett. Consider it a warm up exercise for tomorrow.

The second week begins with more bit more excitement. The morning begins with several “Saturday Errand Games.” Go run the usual Saturday morning errands because few of these games offer much in the way of competition.

Georgia and Ball State play at 11:00 on SECN. Another cupcake game for Georgia. What if all of Georgia’s games are cupcakes? Is UGA good enough for a threepeat?

On ESPN the Bears from Baylor try to resurrect game and perhaps season when they welcome My Cousin Vinny’s Two Utes from Utah at 11:00. Sadly, this could be just downright ugly in Waco and on TV too.

If neither one of those games interest you, the game on Fox at 11:00 just might. We have the Nebraska Cornhuskers and the Colorado Buffalos. I do love a big hat in the shape of a giant yellow corn cob. We get to see if Prime Time is real or was TCU just a fluke and an adrenaline rush.

A game of mild interest is Arizona and Mississippi State on SECN at 6:30. Hail State! Have Big Solid Swear Jar ready.

A most interesting game might be between Ole Miss and Tulane on ESPN2 at 2:30. I would love to see Weird Giffen’s face if Tulane wins. But Hoddy Toddy, Cutbirth Faulkner, Ole Miss!

But THE game of the afternoon is the 2:30 game on ESPN between Texas A&M at the University of Miami. Let’s get acquainted with the opposition.

First of all Miami University is not the same as the University of Miami. One is in Ohio and the other is in Coral Cables, Florida. This is one of which I speak and who the Aggies play.

The University of Miami was founded in 1925. In 1926 a hurricane destroyed most of what little was built. The classes were moved into The Anastasia Building and was used for temporary classes. For a period of time UM was called The Cardboard College.

The “U” as it is known is a private university known for exceedingly difficult entry as an undergrad (27 of 100 admitted) and as a powerhouse for research for graduates (a doctoral delight.). The game will be played in the Hard Rock Stadium which is 21 miles from Coral Cables. HWIT, if the U is so damn smart why is the stadium 30 minutes away? Also, it is a small stadium with capacity at only 69,000. That is numerous Friday night tailgate parties and Midnight Yell in College Station.

Also the Hurricanes are offering a BOGO to try to fill the stadium. Buy a ticket to the UMiami game and get a free ticket to the Georgia Tech game.

The team name is the “Hurricanes” and the team mascot is an anthropomorphic character named Sebastian the Ibis. Yeah, I thought it was a duck also.

An ibis is a water wading bird. Folklore maintains that the Ibis, a symbol of knowledge found in the Everglades and Egypt, is the last sign of wildlife to take shelter before a hurricane and the first to reappear after the storm.

This game is definitely the litmus test for both universities. So glad I have practiced day drinking.

But THE GAME is at 6:00 on ESPN when The Alabama Crimson Tide hosts THE University of Texas Longhorns in Tuscaloosa. Given that Guest Picker for Game Day from Tuscaloosa is Joe Namath, I have already deposited a dollar in the Big Solid Swear Jar before the start of the game.

I understand Alabama is repaying the band favor and having the Longhorn band sit in Sections 101 through 102 in the neighboring county.

HWIT,  One in a row, TU, does not make you a member of the SEC. I hope there will be payback for the yells from last year when the Horns yelled something about a duck and you and Saban during a TV interview. Perhaps they were thinking of the insurance commercial. I am thinking similar sounding  adjectives for THE University.  ROLL TIDE!  I don’t care if you are on the one yard line with one second left in the game and a 49 point lead. Run the score up Bevo’s butt!

BTHO UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI!

Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

What wonderful weekend for college football lovers. So many games. So many teams. So much money. Here are the first Monday awards for this season.

The Award for the Most Frequently Heard Word during the football games this weekend… It is a tie between “transfer” and “portal.”

Our first team award today is the Convincing Award. Will all of the teams that scored 40 points or more in a convincing win against their cupcake team, please pick up your trophy at the desk?

Whatsamatta U aka THE University of Texas may pick their Certificate of Participation off the printer in the next room. Horns? You scored 37 points and YOU PLAYED RICE! Vanderbilt scored more points! This was supposed to be a cupcake game, even though Rice certainly does not need the money.

However, I do award the Needs Improvement Award to THE University of Texas. Note: A lot of improvement before heading to Tuscaloosa and addressing the elephant in the room.

Also receiving a Need Improvement Certificate is Baylor. Really? Texas State Bobcats in Waco? Baylor may need more improvement that TU. Is that stadium paid for yet?

The Award for I Told You So goes to Colorado and Coach Prime. That was most fun to watch. While the game was indeed an offensive spectacular, it remains to be seen if Deion’s method of releasing all previous 80 players and selecting through the portal works.

I award TCU with the Chad and Jeremy Award for That was Yesterday and Yesterday’s Gone. Just because you participated in last’s year’s National Championship Game does not mean it should be mentioned as your laurels – especially given the way you played. Are you paying attention, future TCU announcers?

All of the teams in The Cupcake Games may pick up their entire 2024 Athletic Budget checks at the Exit Gate marked $$$. New Mexico received 1.6 million from Texas A&M. These include, but are not limited to UMass, MTST, UNM, Ark State. SE Louisiana, Mercer and Texas State. The Men’s and Women’s LaCross teams thank you.

The Best Uniform Award goes the University of Houston for their throw back Houston Oilers, Love Ya, Blue uniforms.

The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Wyoming. The yellow is ok, but it is the bovine doo doo brown that is the issue. It should be against NCAA regulations for a school to have brown as a color. Especially if the numbers are in Saloon Font. However ugly the uniforms were , they did look nice in the second OT and beating Tortilla Tech.

And last…Certainly not to be blasé, but LSU? What the Hell happened last night? At times you looked like Wyoming’s bovine doo doo brown! I would never cheer for Florida State. I know the rules – Never cheer for a team from Florida! Therefore, LSU receives the Get It Together Award.

Big Solid Swear Jar – Week One – $1.75 – All LSU fault!

Enjoy Labor Day. Pray for rain.

Monday, August 28, 2023 – My Monday Morning After College Football Awards

Monday, August 28, 2023 – My Monday Morning After College Football Awards

My apologies for no Snarky Friday. Had some eye issues. Besides the only schools playing were from the new I Don’t Care realignment and it was week ZERO!

However, just because I was unable to actually watch any football games  does not prohibit me talking about some of them. People talk all the time about things they don’t know about. However, I heard it through the yard lines that there were some weird things.

First, even though I did not hear, nor see, I award The Big Mouth/ No Substance Award to former Dallas Cowboy coach Jason Garrett for the Notre Dame/Navy game. I understand Garrett noted the strength of Navy every other breath far into the fourth quarter when the score was 42-3. I understand Garrett will call all ND games. Another reason to dislike Notre Dame.

The Award for Stoppage of Football Game, Not Due to Injury, Weather or a Fight goes to The Drone Flying over the UMass and New Mexico State Game. Note to Aggies: That is not the NM we play on Saturday. Like we care, but UMASS won its opening game for the first time since 1973.

Flying drone causes delay in UMass’ football game against New Mexico State

The Score Bug Award goes to Notre Dame. If you are like me you had no idea what a score bug was. It is that ribbon of statistics on the bottom of the TV screen. I was unaware that the score bug belonged to the home team. Notre Dame enlarged their score bug. Now it sits just under the wide receiver’s feet at the bottom of your screen. We shall see this weekend if other teams enlarge their score bug.

And as THE University in Austin prepares to enter its final year in the Big 12, Conference the team and Stevie Sarky adopted a new slogan. Embrace the Hate! Seriously, that is their slogan. So chosen because Texas knows/thinks all the other schools hate them because “We’re Texas!” With slogans like that no wonder other schools hate you. HWIT – BOOMER SOONERS! SIC ‘EM, BEARS! GO COUGARS! Any team, but TU! I also think TU might have fumbled big time on this. Remember, next year TU, you will be U-T-2! Tennessee was there before Texas long before football.

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/sports/sarkisian-and-texas-to-embrace-the-hate-in-their-last-season-in-big-12-before-joining-sec/3319558

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

We are getting closer to seeing which teams will go bowling and which teams will be in the weight room getting ready for next season. As usual I only snark on teams that I like and teams that play teams that I like. And recall, that I am an equal opportunity Snark. I only like a few teams this week.

In the unholy hour for football at 11:00 AM we find the following:

Oklahoma at Baylor on Fox. The Bears better be a praying for a Miracle on the Brazos. It has happened before. However, you might want to pray that the Boomer Sooner Schooner School all test positive for Covid. Sic ‘Em Bears!

New Mexico State at Alabama on the SECN. Whaaat? Why is your cupcake game against New Mexico State? Granted it is The Land of Enchantment, but there ain’t nothing going to be enchanting in Tuscaloosa. Roll Tide!

Michigan at Penn State on ABC. Michigan goes to Happy Town or Happy Time, or wherever Penn State is located. I hope the Nittany Lions are indeed Happy in Happy at the end of the game.

Mississippi State at Auburn on ESPN. To State Fans: Just in case you missed it last week, Auburn lost, and they are going to be pissed when they take the field. Just saying.

We have two goodies at 2:30. Set phasers on Upset.

Georgia at Tennessee at 2:30 CBS .

Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top
Down in the Tennessee hills
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top
Ain’t no telephone bills

Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol’ Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee
Rocky Top, Tennessee

I would wear those ugly orange and white strip overalls if Tennessee could upset Georgia and throw the entire playoff system into chaos. May the ghost of Peyton Manning haunt the field.

Purdue at Ohio State at 2:30 ABC. Can the Boilermakers do it for a fourth time? May the ghost of Drew Brees haunt the field and dot the I in the OHIO band.

In the evening your choices are:

Arkansas at LSU at 6:30 on SECN. This could be a good one. Both teams have much to prove, and LSU is blazing trying to make Coach O’s last games wins.

And last and certainly least, we have Rock Chalk Jayhawk Kansas at Texas University at 6:30 on ESPNU. The Horns are not getting a great deal of video footage for the Longhorn Network because you are not winning. This is your chance. It may be your only chance to finish with a win.

Of course the game of the week that has repercussions up and down the Top 25 is

Texas A&M at Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN.

As previously, we must know things about the opponent. Read on for the history.

When it chartered the University of Mississippi on February 24, 1844, the Mississippi Legislature laid the foundation for public higher education in the state. The legislature is still laying the foundation for any type of education in the state.

The University was used as a Confederate hospital during the American Civil War. General Ulysses S. Grant’s army almost burned it down.

The University of Mississippi has gone through several mascots as the times changed. For years, the mascot was Colonel Reb, a plantation looking owner carrying a cane.

I would explain more but I want to avoid being accused of teaching Critical Race Theory.

But in 2003 (They kept the plantation guy until 2003???) the student body voted to change the mascot. It was initially a black bear called Rebel Bear, but the bear did not last long because it had no meaningful association with the state or the University. No bears in Mississippi. So, Ole Miss adopted the mascot, Tony the Landshark because it has a meaningful association because there are so many landsharks in the state. Actually, the Ole Miss defense came up with the name.

There was a race riot on the Ole Miss campus in 1962 when James Meredith, was the first black man to enroll. Again, I wish I could give you more history, but Critical Race Theory.

The university’s byname “Ole Miss” dates to 1897, when it was the winning entry of a contest held to solicit suggestions for a yearbook title. The term “Ole Miss” originated as a title domestic slaves used to distinguish the mistress of the plantation from the “young misses”. Nothing like having the name of the university continuing antebellum thoughts. This might be CRT too.

If you can change the mascots, why not change the name. I submit the following as the new name for the University of Mississippi. The University of Manning. You could have the Archie School, the Eli School and even the Cooper School. Think about it.

So Hotty Toddy to Ole Miss, but the Texas Aggies are coming. To Aggie QB Calzada. DO NOT SLIDE HEAD FIRST! But I’m sure Jimbo has gently said something similar.

Kiffer? Do you ever modify your facial expression? Or is the look of being lost or stoned just a permanent expression? You are going to need lots of popcorn, this week, Kiffy!

But be careful, Aggies. Do not open the door if you hear from the other side “Candygram.” It’s a Landshark!!

BTHO Ole Miss

Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Today the Week Ten Awards Show consists of songs dedicated to each team.

The only big award today is The Ugly Uniform Award, and it goes to TCU. Those uniforms look like SMU, Ole Miss and Cincinnati uniforms were washed together in magic washing powders and all the colors mixed together. Was it supposed to be mourning garb for Patterson’s leaving?

Today everyone receives a song to make their playlist. I might have changed a few lyrics.

For the upsets, each of these teams receive Patsy Cline’s version of

Faded Love

Wake Forest 55 – UNC 58

Mississippi State 28 Arkansas 31

But onward thru the fog…

Baylor 28 and TCU 30

Baylor song – U2 – Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

TCU song – Elton John – Good bye Yellow Brick Road

Liberty 14 and Ole Miss 27  

Liberty – if you only play for what you need, you needed more.

Liberty Song – To Liberty and Coach Hugh Freeze, just Let It Go since you were Frozen.

Ole Miss – Popcorn Dance by Hot Butter. It’s like an ancient episode of Think You Can Dance. I think this could be the new Ole Miss song.

Purdue 40 and Michigan State 29

Purdue song – Lionel Richie – Once Twice, Three Times an Upset

Michigan State song – The Beatles – Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Texas 7 at Iowa State 30

Iowa State song – Tornado by Little Big Town

Texas song – The Eagles – Desperado

Alabama 20 at LSU 14  

Alabama song – Jack Scott – What In The World’s Come Over You?

LSU song – Police – Every breath you take; every move you make I’ll be watching you. Nothing can make a successful season for LSU more than an upset.

Texas A&M 20 and Auburn

A&M wins the Louise and George Jefferson Award  

Aggie song – cause ‘we moving on up in the West Side – we finally got a piece of the pie!

Additional songs include Scoop there is it by Tag Team and We Put a Nix on You by Creedence Clearwater Revival for the Aggie Defense.

Auburn song – The Happenings – See You in September – Bye-bye, so long, farewell; Bye-bye, so long; See you, in the Iron Bowl; see you, when the season’s through.

BTHO Ole Miss!The Aggies are coming to Oxford with popcorn and ready to kick butt, and we are all out of popcorn! And we ain’t dancing to no popcorn dance either. WHOOP!

Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Happy Post Halloween. There were tricks and treats this weekend.

First a treat – Mississippi State 31-Kentucky 17. Mike the Pirate does it again and wins the ARRR Talk Like a Pirate Award!

Now a trick – SMU 37- University of Houston 44. The University of Houston wins The Run It Back Award and Run Forrest Run Award for taking the football after the kickoff by SMU that tied the game and running from his end zone 100 yards to win the game with 17 seconds left. This left the poor, little rich kids stunned. So Ponies, you receive the Stun Gun Award.

Another treat – Auburn 31 – Ole Miss 20. Lane the Kiffer wins The Analytics Award for going for on Fourth Down three times and being stopped three times for no points on the scoreboard. Both teams share The Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Here’s a list of treats.

Georgia 34 -Florida 7 – The Gators win Once Their Was a Time We Were Good Award. Coach Mullins wins the Better Call the Fire Department Award because your seat is getting hot. To the Dawgs, you win the Sweet Georgia Brown Award because – No gal made has a got a shade on sweet Georgia Brown. No team can throw shade to Georgia. But the Tide could come Rolling in.

Cincinnati 31 – Tulane 12. The Bearkats win the Still Undefeated, but No Style Points Award. And your schedule is weak.

Michigan 33 – Michigan State 37 – Sparky wins The Big Chill Award. Michigan also wins a Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Texas Tech 21 – Oklahoma University 52. OU wins the Hey Look Us Over, We Finally Got It Together Award. Tortilla Tech wins the Help Wanted Award.

Also winning the Help Wanted Award is TCU. The Frogs lose to Kansas State 31 to 12 and Head Coach, Gary Patterson, throws in the towel.

Iowa State 31 – West Virginia 38 – The Mountaineers win the Burn the Couches Award. Of course, anytime WVa wins the team receives The John Denver Award for Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

But the best treat of the Halloween weekend was:

Baylor 31 and THE University of Texas 24  – Baylor not only wins the game, but also wins The Costume Award – Baptist Nuns.

To the University of Texas (No longer THE University) – Bevo wins The Tent Award. Like a tent, Horns were light weight, foldable and collapsible.

The University of Texas also receives The Rolling Stone Award for “how does it feel to be on your own, like a complete unknown?”

Do not get discouraged, Horns. There are three games left and you only have to win two of them to become bowl eligible and one of the teams is Kansas. That is the good news. The bad news is the other teams are Iowa State and West Virginia.

Ten years ago, in September of 2011 the Regents of Texas A&M University voted to leave the Big 12 Football Conference and move to the Southeastern Conference. How has that move worked out? See for yourself.

Welcome to the SEC, Texas. Perhaps it is not too late to rethink the move.

BTHO AUBURN!

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Our first award this week is the Welcome to Aggieland Award. It goes to the numerous newcomers of the Brazos Valley who posted their fears on the Neighborhood Watch app when “Four 4 F 15 fighter jets, armed with missiles, just flew over. What is happening?” And a special award to those who replied, “You must be new. It is the Aggie flyover. It’s Aggie football weekend.” And especially to the Air Force brat who posted, “the jets are not armed with missiles. The bay doors are open.”

Note to the newcomers. That was the flyover for the New Mexico game. On October 9, the entire Texas Air National Guard is flying over Kyle Field, along with a blimp, three helicopters and a flying saucer when the Tide rolls in.

Speaking of The Tide, you need some Tide because you win Poopy Undies. You did avoid Swamp Fever, but it was too close for comfort. Florida Gators receive the Worst Execution of a Two Point Conversion Award. Alabama 31 and Florida 29.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Sooners of Oklahoma. Obviously, Nebraska took the celebration of the 50 Year anniversary of the “Game of the Century” from 1971 a bit more seriously that the Sooners. Close, but no Cornhusker Cigar. Bama 26 and Nebraska 16. Note to OU: Your debut games for the SEC are not looking too good.

There were many blowouts. Here are a few.

TAMU 34 and New Mexico 0. Plus scared newcomers 5 and F 15 Fighter Jets 4. Jimbo said, “We are very average.”  Yes, we are.

Baylor 47 Kansas 7

Rice 0 Texas 58

Missouri 59 SE Missouri St 28

LSU 49 Central Michigan 21

I listed the above teams’ blowouts because none of them will have a blowout again. So you all receive both Cupcake Awards and Hair Dryer Awards. THE University of Texas receives a Rice bowl.  Remember this game TU when you play Vanderbilt in the future.

The biggest trophies this week are brought to you by the Optician Magicians and goes to the Officials. Specifically the officials who called the Mississippi State and Memphis game and the Penn State and Auburn Game. First award is the Three Blind Mice Award and goes to the refs for Memphis and Mississippi State. I am 72 years old and have had cataract surgery on both eyes and have never even called a Pee Wee football game, but I know that you cannot have two players with the same number on the field at the same time. FOUR! Granted, your educational systems suck, but one would think you can recognize two players wearing the same number Four!

But the worst was the obvious downing of the football by State but was picked up and run for a touchdown by Memphis.  For Bulldog fans I award the Near Cardiac Arrest Award and a New Cussing Jar.

The officials in Happy Pennsylvania were not making the crowds happy either. From Referee School 101 – KNOW WHAT DOWN IT IS! .

Auburn 20 Penn State 28. Also, a Stadium Fashion Award goes to Penn State. The White Out looked great.

In conclusion I now introduce a new award called The Most Cobs Shoved Up’ Award for Incredible Skill at Ineptitude.  Our first recipients of the award are the crew who called the Memphis and Mississippi State game. Cob Him!

Have a great week.

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

Friday, August 23, 2019 – It’s Snarky Friday Kickoff

It is the official kickoff of Snarky Friday – my college football comments before Saturday’s big games. We must begin today as the Texas Aggies open next Thursday against Texas State University – formerly Southwest Texas State University.

Oh the joys of traffic for a week day football game. Classes are just beginning at Texas A&M, Blinn College and the school districts of the Brazos Valley. No one knows where they are going. No one knows how to drive. Tailgating on east and west campuses. RVs and tents and corn hole matches dominating the land surrounding Kyle Field. 30,000 people in town Wednesday for Midnight Yell. But I am excited and already have my maroon out shirt. Every game is a maroon out game.

In other Aggie news. The 12th Man of the Aggie football team is Braden White. He is from Florence Alabama. What do you think about that, Nick? Jimbo trying a little psych out maybe? See you October 12.

I now have access to the ACC Network because I am a loyal customer – aka subscribes to all of the other sports channels. For those only familiar with the LHN, other conferences share and fans have the benefit of seeing many more schools play many more sports.

And now to the meaningless college football ratings. I see that THE University of Texas is rated number 10 in several polls. The Horns should rip through the mediocre Big 12 Conference. We shall see if they can hold on to that ranking. September 7 and October 12 should take care of it. Prepare yourself to hear Tiger Rag and Boomer Sooner ad nausea. The road to the National Championship runs through the SEC, OU and Clemson.

I see where Baylor University and The University of Mississippi will play in Houston in 2020. Well, “Hotty Toddy, God Almighty!” Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Baylor, the largest Baptist school on the planet, with no drinking is playing Ole Miss where alcohol is consumed like water and the drinking age in Mississippi is 10?

And then Old Miss fans do the Toddy Chant.

Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, God Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!

Nothing like cussing in your yell when Ole Miss plays Baylor. Maybe the Rebels will dance too.

I am so ready for it all. Kick-off is only days away. Must get prepared for it. Note to self – pick up Bloody Mary mix and vodka for 11:00 am games, beer for 2:30 games, and wine for 6:00 games. Yes, a case of each. That should hold me through the Aggie-Clemson game.

BTHO Texas State!

Monday, June 17, – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Monday, June 17, 2019 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Recently I have acquired several new followers on Facebook. My blog, Here’s What I’m Thinking is linked to FB and other social media. But you can also access at DrDrD85.me

Therefore, it is time as Saint Madelyn Hunter, Patron Saint of Education, says “it is time to review.”

It is called HWIT because in long, boring and often unproductive meetings I would sit in silence until asked my thoughts. I always began with “here’s what I’m thinking.”

The purpose is made make at least one person smile or laugh. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point. Therefore, it is imperative that you follow and read in the event it is YOU I am writing about. And you better hope I like you or else the results might not favor you.

During the fall I write about college football. I write about the Texas Aggies and all of the other teams of the SEC. It just means more! On Friday’s there is Snarky Friday where the Football Snark reveals her comments on upcoming teams and their games.

Snarky Friday is followed by My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Categories include, but are limited to:

  • Poopy Undies for the teams that scare their fans with close games, (Most of us are still recovering from Texas A&M and LSU from last year.)
  • Worse Uniforms as we often see what, hideous shades of yellow and green Nike premiers in Oregon,
  • Helmets receive their own category which includes subcategories of “best shine, “best possible glow in the dark” and “what is that crappy design on the side?”
  • The Brent Mushmouth Award is given to the Booth Mouths who talk during the game, over the calls, tell what they did in college, second guess the coach, the referees and the fans, seldom actually call what is happening on the field and other mindless mouth dribble,
  • The Zebra Awards, sponsored by the Helen Keller School for Referees, are given to the officials for just about anything,
  • The Big 12 Conference is really only ten schools but only a few count anyway. This is includes THE University of Texas, Baylor, Oklahoma State and Tortilla Tech. I seldom write about the other Big 12 schools until basketball season,
  • And last and never least, The Exploding Head Coach Award is awarded to the head coach who loses it, run on to the field, turns red in the face, and throws down and breaks his head phones. It is always a close race between Uncle Will Muschamp and Nick Saban.

So whether your favorite school Gigs Em, Sics Em, Hooks Em, Rolls the Tide, Geauxs Tigers, Goes Cowboys, Boomers Sooners them, Goes State, or even Tortilla Flings, I got your school. Sometimes I even throw in an Ohio State and Penn State for those friends not fortunate to be from Texas.

While, I, like many others, anxiously wait until kickoff, we do have the College World Series – aka The Post Season SEC Baseball Tournament. Therefore, I proudly award the Poopy Undies to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State for their comeback to win rally over Auburn in the ninth inning. Who names a school after a hair color? Go State! and Roll Tide!

Thursday, December 27, 2018 – The Winding Down of 2018

Thursday, December 27, 2018 – The Winding Down of 2018

We approach the last days of 2018 and the last of the college football bowls in the mediocrity category.

Assuming you were not blown away by last evenings’ thunderstorms, you were able to watch the Injured Quarterbacks’ Interception Bowl between TCU and Cal – formerly known as Berkley in the Cheez-it Bowl. The commercials with the big, yellow cheese round were better than the game. In OT the Frogs defeated the Bears 10-7.

Hey Coach Purple Patterson? I gave never coached a football game in my life. Not even Peewee league or girls’ flag football. I am anatomically unable to even wear a jock strap. But what you did with the field goal kickers makes me wonder about your coaching strategies and understanding of players. With an opportunity to win the game in regulation, you really showed your big ass. Who yells at the freshman field goal kicker; then takes him out; yells some more during the timeout; then puts him back in where he promptly misses? Then when given a second chance you send in another field goal kicker. But TCU did win and claim a victory for the Big 12. It may be the only one the conference will claim.

Speaking of the storms across Texas, the First Responders Bowl between Boston College and Boise State was the first bowl game ever canceled. HWIT – given the intensity of the storms all of the first responder in the Dallas Metroplex were needed.

Currently we have Temple and Duke playing in the Walk On Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana. It is being played during the day because no one really cares until the schools’ basketball teams reach March Madness.

In another ‘who cares’ bowl game we have the Pin Stripe Bowl between Miami and Wisconsin.

But at 8:00 on ESPN the last hope of the Big 12 Conference is the Academy Sports and Outdoors Texas Bowl between Baylor and Vanderbilt. The old tight wad, Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt only did one altruistic endeavor in his life time. He lent his name and money to the founding of the Vanderbilt University. Subsequent Vanderbilt generations, like the poor little Gloria would have to sell blue jeans to support the family.

Good luck to the Baylor Bears and the Vanderbilt Commodores. This reminder to Baylor, Oklahoma State, THE University of Texas and Oklahoma -the SEC – it just means more. And that means bigger, faster, stronger and overall just better!

Yep, Baylor, you are the last hope for the Big 12. Otherwise, TCU will be the only Big 12 winner. I know Iowa State is in a bowl game, but do you even know anybody who went to Iowa State?