Category Archives: Texas Aggies

Monday, July 17, 2017 – Monday After in 49 More Days SEC and Big 12 Media Days

Monday, July 17, 2017 – Monday After in 49 More Days SEC and Big 12 Media Days

This time in 49 more days will be the first post of My Monday after College Football Awards 2017. These of course are presented by me, based on the performance of teams I like and teams that play teams I like from the weekend games. These awards include, but are not limited to the ugliest uniforms with a separate category just for helmets. Note: Oregon and Baylor are usually standouts in the category, but any team with orange usually has a shot at ugliest.

Until then it is still The Talking Season. What did the teams talk about?

The SEC football Media days concluded last week. There are 14 teams that make up the Southeastern Conference. Thirteen of them were asked how they would prepare to beat Alabama.

Texas Aggie coach, Kevin Sumlin, was asked about pressure to win. He responded with a grammatically incorrect sentence something like “No one puts more pressure on me than me.”

It is going to be a long climb. HWIT – not sure nine victories will be enough. Maybe if one is Alabama or LSU.

SEC guru, Paul Finebaum, predicts the Aggies will finish fifth in the SEC West behind Alabama, Auburn, LSU, and Arkansas. Three of those four are national championship contenders. Arkansas is just pissed because they have not beaten the Aggies.

This leaves the Aggies above number six, Mississippi State and number seven, Ole Miss in the SEC West. And Ole Miss is on probation. Hotty Toddy!

This week we have media days for the misnamed Big 12 Conference. It is misnamed because there are only 10 teams. The big news is a conference playoff game between the top two teams. Unfortunately, this could be Bedlam Part II and no team from the Big 12 in Texas plays.

Most of the Big 12 teams have the same teams as last year. Bad ones. But the influx of new coaches will make it interesting to watch.

There are some hot coaching seats in the Big 12. Apparently TT Red Raiders are no longer enamored by the hot looks of Coach Kliff Kingsbury and would rather have victories. Note: TT refers to Tortilla Throwers, the school formerly known as Texas Tech.

THE University of Texas is picked to finish fourth by the media behind Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Kansas State. But they are picked to finish first of the Big 12 Schools located in Texas. Does that count? Remember there are only ten schools in the Big 12 Conference so that makes them slightly better than average.

That is enough talk for today. I am taking a timeout. I must go see what the Coaches are wearing for Big 12 Media Day. It is an award category.

July 10, 2017 – Only Seven More Mondays. Mea Culpa

July 10, 2017 – Only Seven More Mondays. Mea Culpa.

Only seven more Mondays until we begin ‘My Monday After College Football Awards.” Today is the unofficial start of college football season beginning with Conference Media Days.

My conference tis of thee and that means the SEC for me. I claim rights on that T-shirt slogan.

However, it is all talk and no action at this time. Therefore the only award today goes to me. I am awarding myself the “Is My Face Crimson” Award.

Old School Version: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa. through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault;

Modern Version: Sorry. My bad.

I deeply and sincerely apologize to the four Alabama fans who read HWIT and to everybody else whose traditional greeting is “Roll Tide.”

I will never misspell Coach Nick Saban’s name again; I will never spell it Sabin, like the scientist, and I will write Saban spelled correctly the end zone 100 times. I will remember to spell his name correctly because his name has two A’s in it, like the beginning and the end of Alabama. There are four As in Alabama – the same number of National Championships won by Nick Saban to date.

As I mentioned NCAA Football Media days are taking place this month. The SEC teams are in Hoover, Alabama to speak with the media. It begins today and ends Thurs. The schedule looks pretty much like this:

LSU, Florida, Alabama, Auburn and everybody else. Texas A&M will be sharing Wednesday with Alabama and Saban with two A’s. This is allegedly to reduce the temperature in Coach Sumlin’s seat, which even Paul Finebaum says is “the hottest seat in football.” You cannot let this season get away!

Here’s what I’m thinking. Coach Sumlin must upset at least one of those teams to even turn down the temperature a few degrees. Can we all agree that the team the Aggies should upset should be FLORIDA?

Friday, July 7, 2017 – Snarky Friday – 7.7.17 – Seven More Saturdays Until Kick Off

Seven. Seven. Seventeen. Seven more Saturdays until we scream! WHOOP!

Why is it so hot in Texas in July? It is because it was July when God kicked the Devil out of Heaven. God gave him the choice between Texas in July or Hell. The Devil chose Hell because it is cooler than Texas in July.

But the July temperatures are not the only thing in Texas burning hotter than the hinges on the Gates of Hell. There is an office near Wellborn and George Bush Drive in College Station that also has some very hot hinges. The name on the door – Kevin Sumlin.

Yes, Indeedee do, the hottest coach’s seat in the NCAA D-1 football is right here in College Station. Three years of 5-0 starts squandered. The motivational poster in his office reads WIN NOW! I think it was placed there by the AD and the HR people from Texas A&M. Might have been John Sharp. I believe this is called “The handwriting on the wall.”

It must really be hot because the SEC Media Days paired the Texas A&M with the Alabama to take some of the heat away from Sumlin. Sabin and Sumlin – hot, but for different reasons.

Speaking of hot seats – or at least warm – we have THE University of Texas coach Tom Herman featured on the football bible of Texas – Dave Campbell’s Texas Football.

I cannot say for certain, but here’s what I’m thinking. My friends who attended and support THE University are going to want more than Coach Herman’s picture on the cover of a magazine. All of that football gibberish better transfer to the scoreboard with W’s on it every Saturday.

Don’t forget – UT You Pee! ( I have so been saving to saythat.)

Hook ‘Em Hippies!

 

Seven more Saturdays until college football kickoff. Counting the days.

BTHO UCLA

Friday, June 30, 2017 – Reveille

From Texas Aggies Twitter this morning (@TexAgs)

I am so beautiful… so marvelous…and that Cadet dude in the picture better have my water. Happy Friday, Ya’ll. And Gig ‘Em Aggies!

Monday, June 26, 2017 – My Monday after Weekend College Sports Awards

Monday, June 26, 2017 – My Monday after Weekend College Sports Awards

Those of us in Texas know that the season that precedes football is called baseball and maybe golf. I usually post Here’s What I’m Thinking about the previous weekend’s college football games. I seldom do other sports awards, but as always there is an exception. Here are my Monday after the weekend college sports awards.

Best Golf Shot of the Year – Jordon Spieth’s chip out from the bunker to win The Travelers Championship in Sudden Death. Spectacular. The celebratory jump with his caddie was pretty good too. Google it.

My College World Series Awards

First to the Oregon Beavers – I did not think LSU could defeat you twice. Nevertheless, here is your Welcome to the SEC! Trophy.

To TCU –I was somewhat hoping for an all purple CWS final. Here is your second place, Welcome to the SEC! Trophy. Note to NCAA, if the Aggies cannot have any form of bubble making machines or devices for celebrations of runs because they are distracting, then TCU cannot have beach balls. There were more beach balls in the stadium than at a Grateful Dead Show in Mountain View. Also, NCAA, the bubbles burst and no one has to run on to the field to pick one up.

To the other teams who were in the bracket to reach the College World Series, great job. Very proud of all of you and hope to see you next year with Aggie bubbles.

But tonight we go to North Baton Rouge – formerly known as Omaha – for the first game of the finals of the College World Series between the LSU Tigers and that horrid team from Gainesville, Florida. Never trust a team from Florida or a team that has a mascot that tastes like chicken.

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

1954 Magnolia High School Senior Trip. New Orleans, Louisiana. Photo by my father.

Alligator at Prejeans. Photo by me. Is alligator wrestling an NCAA sports or just at Florida University?

Wednesday, June 21, 2017 –Estival Solstice and a New Ken

Wednesday, June 21, 2017 –Estival Solstice and a New Ken

Our new word for the day is “Estival.” It is an adjective that means pertaining or appropriate to summer. Today marks the summer solstice or the estival solstice. It is the longest day of the year with the longest twilight. I wonder if that translates to the longest happy hour.

Texas Stonehenge – Kerrville, Texas Photo by me

If you want to learn more about the summer solstice, pretend you are in Mr. Michael’s 9th Grade physical science class and click on the link. There are some pretty cool illustrations. To my Alaska friends, get out the sleep masks; there is going to be a lot of sunlight.

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/6/19/15832952/summer-solstice-2017

Since this is a long day, let us catch up on what I have been thinking.

Please sign the online petition to never allow Texas A&M to play TCU in baseball.

Tropical storm Cindy is about the make landfall through New Orleans and the southern states bringing inches plus of rain. It would be nice if there was a FEMA Director. Doesn’t FEMA stand for Federal EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT? Just in case the low lying areas need help or have an emergency.

Congratulations to Diana Taurasi for becoming the all-time leading scorer in professional women’s basketball. Thank you Title IX and believers in women’s athletics. Thank you, Diana.

The 2017 Texas A&M Maroon out game is with Auburn on Saturday, November Fourth. I was hoping the Maroon Out game would be with Alabama, but I will take Auburn. It is always fun to do Snarky Fridays when the Aggies play a school named after a hair color. And perhaps the Aggies can count on a modicum of support from The Tide.

Did you know there is new Ken doll? Mattel updated Barbie’s long-time, gay boyfriend, Ken, to create a diversity look. There are actually 15 new Kens. They have different skin colors, different body types and different hair styles and colors. Body types include slim, original and large. Various hair styles even include the man bun.

I have not researched the various Ken dolls, but I hope there is Cut-n-Shoot/Porter Ken. This Ken would wear jeans, boots, a torn T-shirt, and a Make America Great Again cap. Of course he would drive a pick-up truck; would be overweight, have a beer belly and sport a mullet. He would come with diabetes prescription, a six-pack of Miller Lite, a pack of Marlboros and a worn EZ-Boy Recliner. Remote control, trailer and pit bulls not included.

As I said I have not researched the various Kens, but here’s what I’m thinking. These Kens, like those who preceded him, are genitalia challenged or sans male body parts. Perhaps Barbie likes him that way.

It is going to be a long day. Enjoy the estival solstice.

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Today let us pause at 3:00 PM local time for a moment of silence for all who sacrificed for our freedom to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You are not forgotten.

Thank you vets that my pursuit of happiness is headed toward Oklahoma City (OKC) to see the Fighting Texas Aggie (TAMU) softball team win the Women’s College World Series (WCWS). No, I am not going. There are certain advantages to attending. For example,

  1. being part of the excitement,
  2. participating in the Fan Fest activities,
  3. purchasing a T-shirt
  4. seeing your team win or
  5. supporting your team in a loss.

Of course there are advantages to staying home. For example, (in order they come to mind)

  1. beer,
  2. wine,
  3. beer with no waiting line,
  4. wine with no waiting line,
  5. instant replay,
  6. able to scream obscenities at umpires and coaches and not be expelled from your home,
  7. able to pause game
  8. a clean bathroom or at least you know who’s dirt it is
  9. wine,
  10. beer,
  11. wearing an Aggie T-shirt you found on the floor that morning,
  12. wearing the T-shirt you slept in,
  13. wearing the shorts you had on yesterday,
  14. not wearing foundation garments,
  15. not sitting on the front row behind home plate exposing my fish belly white legs and giving the camera a view I do not want to expose on national TV, especially not wearing foundation garments,
  16. no need for sunscreen,
  17. beer,
  18. wine,
  19. two equal opportunity, available to all who have the urge to go bathrooms. Note: My RP retirement document is of special interest in the guest bathroom, but best of all,
  20. Being a part of the 12th Man and watching the Aggies win the WCWS, able to dance throughout the house and sing War Hymn.

The WCSW begins in Oklahoma City on Thursday, June 1 on ESPN. FYI – These ain’t your church softball games. Watch some incredible athletes.  Bet you haven’t seen girls throw like this before!

 

But wait, the lusty month of May is not yet over – especially for public schools. There are still more buses the public institution can be thrown under.

Today is Sine Die or the last day of the Texas Legislature.

But hold your bladders. We, Texans, still do not know where to go to the bathroom. So Dan, The Evangelical, is calling for a Special Legislative Session. Of course, he is blaming it on the Speaker of the House, Cajones Straus because Speaker Straus will not play with stupid legislation or those who support it. This of course is the Abbott and Castello Show of Texas. Could we just sine die both of you without assigning a day for a further meeting or hearing?

Am I the only one who finds irony in tax payers’ dollars funding a special legislative session regarding property taxes and where to potty places in public schools?

Friday, May 26, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football – 93 Days

Friday, May 26, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football – 93 Days

Ninety-three days till kick off begins

Ninety-three days till then

Tomorrow begins 92 and

We start all over again.

Ninety-two days till kick off begins …

It depends on the source as to exactly the number of days until NCAA College Football begins. I do not care as long as it begins. Here are some thoughts of what I am thinking as we wait anxiously for college kick off weekend.

Why are Stanford and Rice playing in Australia? Will the Rice MOB play Tie e kangaroo down, Sport and jump around the field? Perhaps they will play Waltzing Matilda and waltz in formation. Will the Leland Stanford Jr. College Band be off of probation to attend?

Is ESPN Game Day coming to College Station? Kirk Herbstreit, can ya’ll please come? I promise this year I will personally bring you barbecue from Fargo’s so I can meet you and take a selfie with all of you. Mr. Herbstreit and Mr. Howard, I would so love to have a photo of us doing a quarterback pose and the Heisman pose. I would like this because both of you are hotties and I am a 68 year old woman and can still do the poses and not fall over or break a hip. Mr. Fowler is pretty cute, but that Corso guy? Please do not let him photo bomb our pictures.

When do Texas Aggie Maroon Out 2017 shirts go on sale? Maroon Out 2017 shirts go on sale June 1. And every Aggie and Former Student knows: it is not about the shirt. It is the 12th Man! Gig ‘Em! http://classcouncils.tamu.edu/node/132

When is Maroon Out Game for 2017? The Maroon Out game has not been determined. HWIT – I am going to ensure my shirt is clean and ready to tailgate on October 7 when the Crimson Tide Rolls in. It could be October 28 when the Bulldogs from Mississippi State visit. That would really be a maroon filled stadium though. http://www.12thman.com/schedule.aspx?path=football

Just realized I have not said too many snarky comments. Therefore, let me say:

Big 12 Conference! OU – we’re leaving. Oklahoma State – we’re going to win it.

Kansas State – Snyder is still alive. Kansas – when does basketball season begin? Iowa State – why are you even in this conference? West Virginia – Can be spoilers to hopes, but I think Dana is cute.

Texas Tech – Is this coaching seat hot or is it just me? TCU – Do these purple pants make me look fat? Yes, Patterson, they do. Baylor – praying for a resurrection in Waco.

THE University of Texas – Hook ‘Em Hippies and it better be quickly.

Snarky Friday – 92 days till kick off begins; 92 days till then …

Thursday, May 11, 2017 – IT Cannot Come Soon Enough. When Does It Begin?

Thursday, May 11, 2017 – IT Cannot Come Soon Enough. When Does It Begin?

I am so over these governmental, constitutional, and foreign crises I am just going to get under my desk, put my hands over my head and wait for IT. I do not know what “IT” will be, but probably something out of the Stephen King novel.

Therefore, I am leaving the “What Have You Done Now?” story of whoever is in charge of the country and moving on to happy thoughts. At least for now.

When does NCAA College football start?

WARNING TO ALABAMA FANS – Be prepared before clicking on the link below. The header is Clemson. Just Roll on past it.

http://www.ncaa.com/news/football/article/2017-03-16/when-does-2017-college-football-season-start

College football season begins at the end of August. Not soon enough. Why are Rice and Stanford playing in Australia? Perhaps it is The Smarty Pants Bowl. Ooh that sounds like a potty training product. Let’s call it The Intellectual Property Rights Bowl.

ICYMI – Over 10,000 Texas Aggies will graduate and become Former Students this weekend. Remember: We are The Aggies; The Aggies are we. And

We Are Fearless!

September 2 – BTHO UCLA!

Friday, April 21, 2017 – Softly Call the Muster

Friday, April 21, 2017 – Softly Call the Muster

The 2017 Texas A&M Muster will honor H. DuVal, Jr.’51, the author of The Last Corps Trip. His family and Aggies across the world will answer “Here” for him and all Aggies who marched in behind the band this year.

Photo by me. Bonfire Memorial. Texas A&M Campus.

The Last Corps Trip

It was Judgment Day in Aggieland

And tenseness filled the air;

All knew there was a trip at hand,

But not a soul knew where.

Assembled on the drill field

Was the world-renowned Twelfth Man,

The entire fighting Aggie team

And the famous Aggie Band.

And out in front with Royal Guard

The reviewing party stood;

St. Peter and his angel staff

Were choosing bad from good.

First he surveyed the Aggie team

And in terms of an angel swore,

“By Jove, I do believe I’ve seen

This gallant group before.

I’ve seen them play since way back when,

And they’ve always had the grit;

I’ve seen ‘em lose and I’ve seen ‘em win,

But I’ve never seen ‘em quit.

No need for us to tarry here

Deciding upon their fates;

Tis plain as the halo on my head

That they’ve opened Heaven’s gates.”

And when the Twelfth Man heard this,

They let out a mighty yell

That echoed clear to Heaven and shook the gates of Hell.

“And what group is this upon the side,” St. Peter asked his aide,

“That swelled as if to burst with pride

When we our judgment made?”

“Why, sir, that’s the Cadet Corps

That’s known both far and wide

For backing up their fighting team

Whether they won, lost or tied.”

“Well, then,” said St. Peter, “It’s very plain to me

That within the realms of Heaven

They should spend eternity.

And have the Texas Aggie Band

At once commence to play

For their fates too we must decide

Upon this crucial day.”

And the drum major so hearing

Slowly raised his hand

And said, “Boys, let’s play The Spirit

For the last time in Aggieland.”

And the band poured forth the anthem

In notes both bright and clear

And ten thousand Aggie voices

Sang the song they hold so dear.

And when the band had finished,

St. Peter wiped his eyes And said,

“It’s not so hard to see They’re meant for Paradise.”

And the colonel of the Cadet Corps said

As he stiffly took his stand, “It’s just another Corps Trip, boys,

We’ll march in behind the band.”

 – by P.H. DuVal, Jr.’51