Tag Archives: Texas bathroom bill

Monday, August 7, 2017 – RIP Mark White

Posted on August 7, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, August 7, 2017 – RIP Mark White

Here’s to former Texas Governor, Mark White who passed away over the weekend. RIP.

Here’s to Mark White, one of the last Governors of Texas who put Texas public school education as the Legislature’s top priority and reformed the system. It was all about educating the boys and girls of Texas and providing an “equal and adequate education” to all. Note: “equal and adequate education” is the phrase from the laws establishing education in Texas.

Here’s to the current Governor of Texas, it’s time for a reform. How about another Blue Ribbon Committee?

How about financing the best possible education for the boys and girls of Texas instead of financing “where to go to the bathroom?”

Keep your voter registration card current.

1 Comment

Posted in Education, Native Texan, Politics

Tagged Greg Abbott, Mark White, Texas, Texas bathroom bill

Wednesday, July 19, 2017 – Pack Up the Babies and Grab the Old Ladies; That’s Right, You’re Not from Texas

Posted on July 19, 2017 | 1 comment

Wednesday, July 19, 2017 – Pack Up the Babies and Grab the Old Ladies; That’s Right, You’re Not from Texas

That’s right, you’re not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway. Even though Lyle Lovett’s song suggests Texas wants you, we really do not. We have plenty of crazy people that already live here. Like most Southerners, we like crazy people and even enjoy sitting on the front porch and sharing a cocktail with them. In Texas we like crazy people so much we elect them to high level government positions.

This week in our great state capital, Austin, many of the crazy people once again congregate under the Dome of Decisions in a Special Session called by the Governor of Texas. One of the most pressing issues and urgent issues is to help us sort out where to void our bladders in public places associated with educational institutions. This is known as The Bathroom Bill or Senate Bill 6. So, paraphrasing the great Neil Diamond “Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies, cause everyone knows it’s Brother Dan’s Show.”

The entire Texas legislature seems to be obsessed with human body functions, like abortion, sex of any kind (yes, last session they passed a no sex with animals bill), homosexuality, transgendered people and where people poop and pee and shower and change clothes (locker rooms). And for some reason they think they can control these bodily functions legislatively.

The lieutenant Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, aka Saint Evangelical, seems to be overly obsessed with where individuals go to the bathroom. So much he is apparently ready to fall on the proverbial sword to push this through the Texas Legislature.

Here’s what I’m thinking. What if educational institutions selected a strategically located facility in the building, and put a new sign on the door designating it

The I. P. Freely Bathroom sponsored by Saint Evangelical.

A cost savings suggestion is, just write it on the wall next to the facility. I think that is where the handwriting is. Besides, think how much money public schools could have to focus on teaching and learning rather than peeing and pooping.

“I see a bad moon rising…” Creedence Clearwater Revival. Photo by me. Looking out my backyard – also by CCR.

Keep your voter registration card current and your Texas photo voter ID too.

http://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/342556-bathroom-bill-opens-deep-rift-in-texas-gop

1 Comment

Posted in Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Uncategorized

Tagged humor, Texas education, Dan Patrick, satire, Texas SB 6, Texas bathroom bill, Texas special session

May 30, 2017 – Turn Out the Lights; the Party’s Over!

Posted on May 30, 2017 | Leave a comment

May 30, 2017 – Turn Out the Lights; the Party’s Over!

“Turn out the lights; the party’s over;

They say that all good things must end;

Turn out the lights: the party’s over;

And tomorrow starts the same old thing again.”

I doubt that the wonderful country singer Ray Price was talking about the government. Yesterday was sine die for the 85th Texas Legislature. The day of adjournment until called again. Or until Governor Abbott checks his vacation calendar.

So how did the 85th Legislature end? In protest of SB 4 – Immigration. There was the 3 AM singing at the Governor’s Mansion protests. A Republican House member called Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to remove protestors in the capitol. Note: these protesters in red should not be confused with the women dressed in red as in The Hand Maiden’s Tale. These were in The Senate Gallery. These and others were protesting almost every piece of legislation. In fact, it is difficult to know your protestors in Austin without a program.

Then there was the floor shoving match in the House of Representatives which resulted in a threatening language to a colleague with words like “gun” and “bullet” and “your head” in the same sentence. This was followed by the Governor signing new gun legislation. Do not go ballistic; I happen to like guns. Just saying PR people need to do better at press releasing timing.

And that is just the tip of the dome. According to The Houston Chronicle, it will cost about $800,000 for one special session. But it will be so worth it for Dan, The Evangelical to lead the Bathroom Brigade of Buffoonery into Texas Public Schools. Because there is one thing every Texas school child needs to know and that is where to go to the bathroom. Biology textbooks will soon show diagrams that show is it is not just “the outside” junk that counts in gender, but also “the inside junk.” We all know the only places that transgender people hang out are public schools.Designating a special place to urinate in schools should be the highest priority of the Texas legislature.

Here’s what I’m thinking. When Dan the Evangelical gets his way and the idiots are called to leave their villages, the Texas bathroom bill will pass. Therefore every bathroom that is designated “The Different One” should have a poster size photo of Dan, the Evangelical falling on his sword.

Keep your voter registration card current.

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Posted on May 29, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Today let us pause at 3:00 PM local time for a moment of silence for all who sacrificed for our freedom to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You are not forgotten.

Thank you vets that my pursuit of happiness is headed toward Oklahoma City (OKC) to see the Fighting Texas Aggie (TAMU) softball team win the Women’s College World Series (WCWS). No, I am not going. There are certain advantages to attending. For example,

being part of the excitement,
participating in the Fan Fest activities,
purchasing a T-shirt
seeing your team win or
supporting your team in a loss.

Of course there are advantages to staying home. For example, (in order they come to mind)

beer,
wine,
beer with no waiting line,
wine with no waiting line,
instant replay,
able to scream obscenities at umpires and coaches and not be expelled from your home,
able to pause game
a clean bathroom or at least you know who’s dirt it is
wine,
beer,
wearing an Aggie T-shirt you found on the floor that morning,
wearing the T-shirt you slept in,
wearing the shorts you had on yesterday,
not wearing foundation garments,
not sitting on the front row behind home plate exposing my fish belly white legs and giving the camera a view I do not want to expose on national TV, especially not wearing foundation garments,
no need for sunscreen,
beer,
wine,
two equal opportunity, available to all who have the urge to go bathrooms. Note: My RP retirement document is of special interest in the guest bathroom, but best of all,
Being a part of the 12th Man and watching the Aggies win the WCWS, able to dance throughout the house and sing War Hymn.

The WCSW begins in Oklahoma City on Thursday, June 1 on ESPN. FYI – These ain’t your church softball games. Watch some incredible athletes. Bet you haven’t seen girls throw like this before!

But wait, the lusty month of May is not yet over – especially for public schools. There are still more buses the public institution can be thrown under.

Today is Sine Die or the last day of the Texas Legislature.

But hold your bladders. We, Texans, still do not know where to go to the bathroom. So Dan, The Evangelical, is calling for a Special Legislative Session. Of course, he is blaming it on the Speaker of the House, Cajones Straus because Speaker Straus will not play with stupid legislation or those who support it. This of course is the Abbott and Castello Show of Texas. Could we just sine die both of you without assigning a day for a further meeting or hearing?

Am I the only one who finds irony in tax payers’ dollars funding a special legislative session regarding property taxes and where to potty places in public schools?

Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Posted on May 22, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Good Morning Civics Class.

Our vocabulary word for the day is: ultracrepidarian. (uhl-truh-krep-i-DAIR- ee-uh-n) It is an adjective noting or pertaining to a person, who criticizes, judges or gives advice outside the area of his or her expertise.

Let us explore some examples of persons who might be described as ultracrepidarian.

At the global level The United States’ ultracrepidarian Potus is sword fighting with Saudi royalty. Talk about sabre rattling. They all went to the Toby Keith Testosterone Concert, part of the Hand Maiden’s Tale Tour. Meanwhile, Malaria the Silent and Blondie Anorexia are showing a great deal of leg for an Arab country that covers their women in sheets.

I really do not know what to think about that glowing orb thing. It is creepy. I think it is three billionaires contacting the Mother Ship for further details. It is also possible the sheiks told POTUS it was the newest thing for penile dysfunction and is available for only $19.95 (easily converted to rubles) via the Internet.

Today Trumpet is to visit the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Fake New, Inc. reports he is exploring moving the wall to Laredo, Texas or somewhere in Arizona. FYI – Do not even think about putting the words “wall” and “Big Bend” in the same sentence.

“But in Texas the talk turned to outlaws, like Willie, Waylon and me.” (David Allen Coe. 1976) Other outlaws now include, but are not limited to: the entire Texas Legislature. What is happening in The Lone Star State of Texas?

There is one week of public schools left in the year and one week left in the Texas Legislature. Of course that fat lady is not warming up to sing and Saint Dan, The Evangelical can still hold bills in the Senate hostage and call special sessions until he gets his way. But he might be content to throw the entire public school system and its children under the big yellow legislative bus.

First, the bathroom bill. Am I reading this correctly? This now only applies to K-12 public schools? And the lower chamber pot (The House) stuck this in the bill as amendment for the requirements for an ISD’s for emergency preparations?

The Texas House passed bathroom restrictions for transgender students.

…An amendment was added to school districts’ emergency plans and added language requiring K-12 schools provide single-stall restrooms and other public areas to a student “who does not wish” to use facilities designated by “biological sex.”

What happened to “local control?” or as we say in Texas, “by God Independent School District.” Is there funding in the school finance bill to make these accommodations or is this an “unfunded mandate?” Why not add an amendment to make the “other bathroom” a pay toilet and name it the Dan Patrick Potty ? If you are going to discriminate, then go all out. This might pay for the required upgrades the school has to make or at least increase custodial pay for those who have to clean up when everyone pees on the floor.

School Finance. The upper chamber pot did approve the school finance bill. But only if it included Voucher Language. Let me translate. If your child is disabled you can use my tax dollars that take away from the public school system and can be used for private schooling. It also reads as though my tax dollars can go to parents educating their children at home.

The Senate put a voucher-like program in House Bill 21, the school finance bill.

The upper chamber early Monday morning approved a bill that would simplify the formulas for funding public schools and allow parents of kids with disabilities to take state money to leave the public system for private schools or homeschooling. HB 21 now includes a provision the House hates and Patrick wants: state subsidies for parents who want to send their children with disabilities to private schools or need money for services to educate them at home.

In summary, here’s what I’m thinking. Please protect the public school system from ultracrepidarian politicians. And please protect all Texas children and especially those in foster care, who are transgendered, and with disabilities from the Texas Legislature.