Category Archives: College Football

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 16, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

To paraphrase The Grateful Dead – What a long strange, football weekend it has been.

Little Green Men invaded. Looks like a Big Green Man.

In keeping with music our awards program today is brought to you by Paul Simon’s Slip Sliding Away as we saw many teams’ championship hopes slide away with a loss.

The Awards for Championship Hopes that Slip Slided away go to:

Baylor lost to the Sooners of OU – 44-34.
LSU lost to the Arkansas Razorbacks 31-14. And the Razorbacks won in regulation with no OT.
Stanford lost to the Ducks of Oregon 38-36.
Utah falls to Arizona 30-37.

This just in – if your uniform is a variation of the color RED, please report The Playoff Committee. This includes, the top four according to Dr. Saturday – Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama and Oklahoma State. Larry Culpepper would like to see you. Notre Dame please stand by as an alternate. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/oklahoma-state-and-notre-dame-move-up-in-ap-poll-192157357.html

Other awards go to:

The Burning Couch Award for “Couches, couches burning bright” goes to West Virginia. I know it is Tiger, tiger burning bright” by William Blake. But tigers did not burn bright anywhere except for Clemson. And I did not see how many couches were set afire with the West Virginia victory over THE University of Texas.

SS University of Texas

TCU survived lowly Kansas 23 -17. But TCU does win the Ugly Uniforms Award. I am not sure what color the uniforms were but they did prove great hiding when you crapped in them when Boykin went down. Let’s hope he is OK. What color were your helmets? Pimp Car Purple?

The Texas Aggies who appear to continue to have a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season, win the Bigger, Stronger, Faster Award for playing with West Carolina like a catamount plays with its prey before winning 41-17.

The last award goes to the OU player who was ejected from the game for kicking a Baylor player in the facemask. He wins the Social Media Award for Poor Sportsmanship and Stupidity with his suggestion to the Baylor crowd that they have sexual intercourse with themselves. Remember Dude, the camera is always on!

Happy Monday.

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Posted in College Football

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Clemson, Ohio State, Oklahoma State University, OU, Texas Aggies

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on November 13, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

Florida and South Carolina
Kansas and TCU
Ohio State and Illinois
THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Aggieland Outfitters, Alabama, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Big 12, Big 12 Conference, college football, Crimson Tide, LSU, Oklahoma State University, Oklahoma University, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Posted on November 6, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Don’t forget to vote for Gayla for Team Mom of the Year.

http://www2.usafootball.com/poll_management/userpoll/6

It is Separation Weekend in college football. This is when the Big Boy Pads are put on because one loss separates your team from the National Championship Bracket, the Conference championships and your team goes to the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

I am thinking Baylor probably wanted more separation in the score than shown last night against Kansas State. Thirty-one to 24 does not impress The Selection Committee. But the true freshman quarterback was most impressive for Baylor.

But what games will you watch tomorrow?

Texas Tech and West Virginia have the joy of the 11:00 AM game on FS1 in the meeting of mediocracy in Morgantown, West Virginia. Tech – those big mounds of dirt are called mountains.

Notre Dame and Pitt line up on ABC at 11:00. A loss could send ND spiraling downward into some depth of Dante’s Inferno or at least to a bowl game in a hot desert setting.

What will impress The Committee will be at 2:30 on Fox with a showdown in Boone Pickens Stadium in Stillwater Oklahoma when unbeaten TCU visits unbeaten Oklahoma State. GO COWBOYS!

Equally impressive to The Committee will be Florida State and Clemson at 2:30 on ABC from Clemson, South Carolina. I’ve never been one to pull for Florida State, but Go Noles!

The separations continue in the SEC at 2:30 on CBS. There is a big HOG calling from every team in the SEC as the Razorbacks travel to Oxford, Mississippi and The Grove to attempt the upset of Ole Miss. An upset by the Hogs could set up some very interesting scenarios.

In the evening, creeping up the College Football Polls are the Sooners of OU at 6:00 on ESPNU against Iowa State. A big score from the Fabulous Baker Boy’s team could attract the eyes of The Committee.

In the evening keep a watchful out on the States – as in Ohio State and Michigan State. The Committee will be watching.

The separation Saturday for last place in The Big 12 Conference is THE University of Texas and Kansas. Kansas can get out of last place and THE University can safely secure it’s place in the unfamiliar middle section of the Big 12 rankings.

The game will be broadcasts on the Longhorn Network at 7:00. Unless you are wearing a burnt oranges shirt, everyone else will be watching Texas A&M and Auburn and/or Alabama and LSU.

In another game for separation for last place in the SEC West we have Auburn and the ever-so-tactful, Will Muschamp, visiting the new Kyle Field at 6:30 on the SEC Network. A loss for Auburn pretty much seals them in last place SEC – West. A loss for the Aggies could mean the difference between the Aggies playing Notre Dame in some desert state or in the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

BTHO Auburn

And now for the Big Separation. Even with 100% precipitation predicted in Tuscaloosa, the Tide will NOT Roll over the Tigers. Alabama will be soggy toast. And this weekend my Alabama friends, I cannot be your friend.

Here is why – I am going with The Tigers and the Family DNA. Come on, Bama, you know you can’t catch them Boys from The Bayou. They know how to run from them allimugatros in bayou. You thank they gonna be scared? Nah. They done gonna put dat voodoo on you! And I am making me some gumbo in anticipation of the celebration. Run Leonard Run!

GEAUX TIGERS!

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Aggies, Alabama, Baylor, Big 12, LSU, LSU football, Nick Saban, Texas A&M, Texas Football, The University of Texas

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

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Posted in College Football

Tagged Auburn, Baylor, college football, LSU, mascots, Oklahoma State University, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, October 30, 2015 – Halloween Eve

Posted on October 30, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 30, 2015 – Halloween Eve

It was a dark and stormy night … and that was just in the Texas A&M locker room last week.

Nevertheless come Saturday morning the Game Cock crows at 11:00 AM. Until Miss Navasota and I found out the game between the Aggies and South Carolina was at such an ungodly hour for football, we were going to tailgate in our Halloween costumes. Initially we were going to dress as college coeds and wear cowboy boots with white short, short cut-offs showing our butt cheeks and a see through maroon silky top that shows our bras and more. This ensemble was topped off with expensive Ray Ban sunglasses that cost more than the rest of the outfit. I know this because I wear Ray Bans.

But we changed our minds due to the hour and the predicted rain. Now we are just going to sit in front of our TVs and drink and text each other like we usually do. But for our Halloween costumes, we are now going to dress as a Texas A&M quarterback – since there does not seem to be one emerging from the huddle any time soon. So let’s do the Chicken dance and BTHO South Carolina.

Not much happening in the Big 12 – TCU put a can of Frog Whoop Ass on West Virginia last night by winning 40-10.

It took three overtimes for the Oregon Ducks to overcome Arizona State by a six-man football score of 61-55.

Baylor has the week off and everybody is playing teams from the north like Kansas and Iowa State that nobody cares about. Nevertheless, Hook ‘Em Hippies, Go Cowboys, and safe travels to Lawrence for OU to meet Kansas. Hope you get there on time this week.

Photo by Martha – brought her Horns luck last week. Try it again.

In the SEC also at the unholy hour of 11:00 am is Ole Miss and Auburn on ESPN. Can Ole Miss run the conference? Can’t wait for Uncle Will to visit College Station.

But at 2:30 the Georgia Dawgs head to The Swamp to meet Florida on CBS with the broadcast team of Frick and Frack.

My apologies last Monday to the LSU nation for not mentioned Leonard Fournette. I actually lost a page of my notes and was going to mention the Mud Bowl in which the Tigers played. Trust me there will be plenty of LSU in the coming weeks. But LSU and Alabama get to rest this week.

The 6:00 PM game on ESPN2 has the University of Houston hosting Vanderbilt. But since this blog is only about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like, neither of them get any more words. I have never liked the downtown school in the Bayou City.

The Utah Utes try to regain control of the Pac 12 playing Oregon State Beavers at 6:00 on the Pac 12 Network.

And if you are still awake you can watch the Stanford Cardinal (remember, it is a color and not a bird) and Washington State on ESPN at 9:30. Mike Leach will be dressed as a pirate.

Of course, Michigan, Clemson and Notre Dame play. But I don’t care about them until it is time to do so.

BTHO – South Carolina and please let somebody show up as quarterback for the Aggies.

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Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 26, 2015 | 3 comments

Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

The Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word: “kakistocracy.” It is a noun meaning a government by the worst persons, a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Since ever one seems to think the worst persons are already in the government or are running for office, I wanted to offer enlightenment and new vocabulary words to all sides. Please feel free to use this and any other intelligent sounding words, since none of you seem to have many to start with.

Ghosts. Goblins. Warlocks and Witches. And Halloween is still a week away. This was a most strange weekend in college football.

Let’s begin with the Flood Bowls along Interstate 35 and travel north.

While the rains and floods may have inundated Austin and DKR Memorial Stadium, there were several bright spots of hope and sunshine. THE University wins the Lazerous Award appearing to rise from the dead.

I asked my roomie to take a picture and I would post it when THE University began a winning streak. This was earlier in the season because she has the good sense to come in out of the rain.

Photo by Martha 2015 – aka Roomie

Moving north where the rains were really falling over McClain Stadium in Waco, The Bears win the “45 points are the new 60 plus in the rain.” I hope The Committee in November has a Flood Criteria. It is Baylor and the Baptists do like a good dunking, but that was an Ark building flood.

Oklahoma had no problem with Texas Tech. Coach Kliff, what’s with the new hairdo? I am not current on the fashion trends coming out of Lubbock but that new hair cut looks like an Aggie Fish Corp of Cadets haircut – a bad one. Was your hair, or lack of it, supposed to look that way?

The Michael Jackson Thriller Award is shared by Auburn and Arkansas and Duke and Virginia Tech. What are the odds there would be two games with four overtimes? What are the odds of that happening? Please have Dr. Sheldon Cooper do the math.

The Yogi Berra – It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over Award goes to The Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech who rambled down the field after a Florida State missed field goal that would have won the game. Georgia Tech ran for the winning touchdown as time expired.

The Utah Utes fall from the undefeated ranks as the USC Trojans opened a lethal virus on them. The Utes win the Beware the Trojan Horse Award.

To the Texas Aggies, I award the Hotty Toddy and Kiss my Magnolia Blossom Award because the Ole Miss Rebels certainly did.

To Kyler Murray I am awarding the Coach/Player Etiquette Book of Football Practice Manners. Screaming the F word to and about your offensive coordinator during practice is indeed a bench sitting practice issue.

The Aggies also receive the Free Tire and Wheel Check because the wheels are coming off the bus again.

Perhaps I should post a classified ad in the newspaper or post something on Craig’s List. WANTED: Quarterback. Please send video and application to The Texas Athletic Department; Attn: K. Sumlin.

And last, but not least – to the Alabama Crimson Tide, I award The Poopy Undies Award, the CPR Award and The Survivor Award for the fourth quarter comeback win over Tennessee. You also win The Doors and Jim Morrison’s The Alabama Song that is also known As The Whiskey Bar. I know this is how you felt while in Knoxville and upon leaving Saturday night. Something tells me you were not drinking Tennessee bourbon at the Whiskey Bar.

The Alabama Song

Well, show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

Show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

For if we don’t find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die I tell you we must die I tell you,

I tell you I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama

We now must say goodbye

We’ve lost our good old mama

And must have whiskey Oh, you know why!

Just think – next Saturday is Halloween. Be ready for anything.

Finally, to Oklahoma State and Delaware University as tragedies marred both of their homecoming parades. All are in our thoughts.

Thank you Kristen for the picture. I am sad for all of you and the Cowboy Nation.

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Posted in College Football

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Crimson Tide, LSU, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, Texas Aggies; football, The Doors, The University of Texas

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on October 23, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football – Game On

First – my apology to Myles Garrett for misspelling his name last week.

The Schedule today begins with The Rain Barrel Bowls up and down Texas Interstate 35.

Starting in Austin and playing @ 11:00 on Fox 1 is THE University of Texas and Kansas State. Tell the Wildcats they are no longer in Kansas and give them a good hooking of the Horns. I have your photograph ready to post Roomie signifying a home win and winning streak for the Horns in DKR Memorial Stadium! Stay Strong and get it done!

Traveling north to Waco we find the Iowa State Weather Patterns visiting Waco and playing Baylor @ 11:00 on ESPN. I understand one is to wear green and gold depending on your ticket location. This will make McLane Stadium green and gold striped. I know you can get yellow (gold) rain slickers at Academy, but can you get green rain slickers? Is Nike working on that? Surely with that many uniforms and shades of green Nike has got something in the warehouse they can Fed-Ex to Waco for the fans.

Crossing the state line into Norman along I-35 we find Oklahoma and Texas Tech @ 2:30 on ESPN2. I wonder what Baker and Stoops and Coach Kliff and the Red Raiders have planned against and up their respectively sleeves besides a rough history.

Taking a right turn and headed toward Stillwater we find the Cowboys of Oklahoma State playing Kansas @ 2:30 on Fox 1 and slowing creeping up in the Big 12. Go Pokes. It’s Kansas. Remember they play basketball like Kentucky does.

Remember there are only 10 teams in the Big 12 and eight are playing. So that leaves TCU and WVa having the weekend off.

Now to the games that actually have meaning (the only ones worth watching) so that means the SEC teams because Ohio State plays Rutgers.

Opposite the Rain Barrel Bowls on the SECN @ 11:00 am will be Auburn and Arkansas with last place up for grabs in the SEC West. Do you like bacon on your burger Uncle Will Muschamp?

What once could have been interesting is now Alabama and Tennessee in Tuscaloosa @ 2:30. Oh no – the game is on CBS. I hope you do not get the Can’t Broadcast S##% announcers. Turn on the radio broadcast to avoid.

And going out with The Tide here is a little Thank You shout out to Coach Sabin regarding last week’s visit to Aggieland –

“You know, this is the first place we’ve played for a long, long time, that we never got booed when we came out,” Saban said. “First place. I’m telling you. It’s a really nice facility. They had 105,000 people. And they cheered their tail off for their team. And they made it hard for us to play.” ESPN quotes somewhere on their application.

At 3:00 on the SEC Network will be another game for last place in the SEC East with Missouri and Vanderbilt. Take a nap, but be up and ready for the only games of competition beginning at 6:00.

On ESPNU @ 6:00 we find Western Kentucky visiting Baton Rouge hosted by Leonard Fournette’s team the LSU Tigers. Run Leonard run. With each step you get a bit closer to going to New York to get a big trophy.

At 6:30 in another game of why are play this team? This is Mississippi State and Kentucky on the SECN. This is not Western Kentucky which I suppose is geographically west of the Kentucky that Mississippi State is playing. I understand the men’s basketball team at Kentucky is quite good. Yes – Number 1.

At 6:30 on Fox is the Utah Utes (I just love saying that) and USC Trojans in Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. If Utah should become number two in The Committee’s ranking in November, will they be “the two Utes?” (My Cousin Vinny)

But the only game of significance is the Cutbirth Bowl (as in William Cutbirth Faulkner) on ESPN from Oxford Mississippi @ 6:00 when the Ole Miss Rebels host The Fighting Texas Aggies. It is an elimination game for the SEC West title. Should make visits to Baton Rouge interesting for both teams. But one game at a time.

So Howdy Damnit and Hotty Toddy and BTHO Ole Miss.

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Big 12 Conference, Crimson Tide, LSU, Nick Sabin, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, TCU, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies; football, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Wednesday, October 21, 2015 – Healthy Elderly Needed for Study

Posted on October 21, 2015 | 3 comments

Wednesday, October 21, 2015 – Healthy Elderly Needed for Study

Want to be a guinea pig and make some money? This sounds like something my sister would like to do – except for the last part. The Texas A&M Education and Human Development College is conducting a study where you get paid to stay in bed for 10 days.

The study examines the effects of a pill on the preservation of muscle mass during bed rest and recovery after bed rest.

Time commitment consists of two or three screening visits, five study days prior to 10 days and nights of bed rest. Here’s the catch. It is followed by an eight week exercise program to measure your muscle mass. And I think you stay here during the 10 days and nights of bed rest.

The Patricia Motel – Ferriday, Louisiana

But if you are selected it pays $125 for screening, up to $400 for study visits prior to bed rest and up to $125 per day for each day of bed rest and then $100 per week during the exercise program.

Yes, one could make a nice income supplement. But do ever wonder how these studies determine the side effects listed on the labels? You could be in the side effects group and not know it.

Side effects may include bloating, gas, hives, toe nail fungus, vomiting, diarrhea, twitching, itching, singing the blues, hallucinations, personality changes causing Republicans to vote for Hillary and select a Speaker of the House of Representatives. Additional side effects include holding a Donald Trump tailgate party in your front yard, driving while naked and yelling “Ted Cruz for President.”

If you are interested in being a part of a research experiment and making a little side money, for more information check out today’s Bryan Eagle, call 979.422.1789 or email research@ctral.org.

Oh – I forgot to post this photo from Saturday’s tailgate party. It is downloadable, suitable for copying and distribution so you will not have to hang your bed sheets on the front porch or from your car port when Alabama visits the rest of the SEC.

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Posted in College Football, Politics

Tagged Alabama, college football

Monday, October 19, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 19, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, October 19, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards post is sponsored today by the word “interception.” It is a noun that means when the quarterback of your team throws the ball to the other team. Synonyms include, but are not limited to “damn it”, “Oh S#$%”, “holy S#$%.and other words unfit to print.

Before we start the ado and further it, a huge thank you to the Hoke and Ellis families for such a great tailgating experience. Can’t wait for the next one.
The first award is the Rip Tide Award and goes to the Alabama Crimson Tide for rolling over Texas A&M like a hurricane named Henry.

The Governor’s Reprieve Award goes to the Texas A&M offense who could not execute on given Bama opportunities.

The Pepto Bismal Award goes to Ole Miss for being upset by Memphis. Thank you Memphis for suddenly making the SEC West much more interesting.

The Ugliest Uniform Award is a tie between Oregon and Baylor. Oregon, you looked like green peas running around on the field. And Baylor – Gray? It is unattractive for being # 2. Ohio State – as in still #1 – can wear gray because it is their school color. Yours is not gray – it is gold and green, which begs the question – Does Nike have a building that just makes 50 shades of green for Baylor and Oregon?

The High Point Award for scoring the most points goes to Baylor. Yawn! 62-to 38 over West Virginia.

The You Can’t Get There from Norman Award and the We Would Have Come Sooner Award goes to Oklahoma for the team’s 8 hour flight delay to K-State. Sooners win second place for points scored. OU – 55- K-State – 0.

The Halloween Creeping Up on You Award goes to Oklahoma State University. The Cowboys are quietly creeping up in the Big 12 with a 6-0 record.

The Yogi Berra Award for It Ain’t Over Until It’s Over goes to the Michigan State Spartans for defeating Michigan (Big Blue) on a last second fumbled punt scooped up Michigan State to score the winning touchdown as time expired.

And the next to the last award as I step onto my soapbox – goes to – CBS and the broadcast team of Verne Lunquist and Gary DumbAss – whatever your name is. YOU TWO ARE TERRIBLE! You make Brent Musberger and Jesse Palmer look like award winning journalists. When was the last time you called a football game, Mr. Lunquist? – The Four Horsemen of Notre Dame?

No wonder during the Bowl and Playoff Season the CBS share of the sports market looks like this.

It is because of dinosaurs like you. Here is only a few reasons why you should be fired, let go with pension, retire, whatever – just be out of town before sundown.

You did not know the rules thus missing many calls.
You did not do your homework and could only discuss the 2012 Alabama/Texas A&M game. Here’s What I’m Thinking had more history between Texas A&M and Alabama than you mentioned during the entire game.
You are supposed to be objective. Therefore when the defense, as in Texas A&M, makes a good play, one does not say “Alabama made a mistake.”
Johnny Manziel no longer attends Texas A&M and Lunquist you said it on air – “on behalf of CBS it should mentioned and “I think so too” and then proceeded to discuss issue recent issue with Johnny Manziel. In addition to – you are not paid to report the news; you had the facts incorrect when you inappropriately mentioned it.

Neither of you is paid to THINK. What are you psychic? You do not know what anybody is thinking. For example – Gary Dumbass saying at least three times on kick offs – “I think he should have run the ball out of the end zone. That was wrong.” No one cares what you think, Gary.

In addition don’t criticize the players, coaches referees by saying things such as “Well that was the quarterback, coaches’, referees, any other players fault!”

In addition, Gary Dumbass, I do not need nor want to hear a 20 second (yes, I timed it) diatribe on quarterback efficiency numbers and how they are calculated. I do not care. Do you get paid by the number of words you utter?

You are paid to tell me what is going on down on the football field. If either of you were paid to think and criticize you would not be sitting the announcer’s booth saying stupid things while reading from a prepared script left over from 2012.

So I award the two of you the CBS Award for making College Broadcasts that Suck.

And last I award myself – Great Tailgate pictures for capturing a pic of Coach Sumlin,

Coach Kevin Sumlin – Spirit Walk – Texas A&M v Alabama 10.17.2015

Miles Garrett – Spirit Walk – Texas A&M vs Alabama 10.17.2015

The Commandant leading the Corp March In

The Fight Texas Aggie Band

E2 Company – Revellie in lower left corner.

and even Miss Reveille at parade rest.

It seems I was able to catch everything except a Kyle Allen pass.

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, CBS Sports, college football, Crimson Tide, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, SEC, Texas, Texas Aggies; football, Verne Lunquist

Thursday, October 15, 2015 – Cooper Goodson? Where Are You? Or The Commandant and the Doctor

Posted on October 15, 2015 | Leave a comment

Thursday, October 15, 2015 – Cooper Goodson? Where Are You? Or The Commandant and the Doctor

Cooper Goodson? Are you out there in Facebook land? If you are I hope you are well and happy. I wanted you to know that during high school at Magnolia High School I had the biggest crush on you. Did you think I sat in the back of the band bus to sit by the bass drum? Of course I could seldom think of anything to talk about and if there was a conversation it always seemed to end with you saying “Yeah, but girls can’t go to A&M.” If you only knew how that pissed me off.

Therefore I wanted you to know that girls now do go to Texas &M. Here is a photo of two of them. Presenting the first female Commandant of the Corps of Cadets, Alyssa Marie Michalke, and The Doctor, Yours Truly, Class of 1985. Photo by http://reddragonphotos.com/