Tag Archives: The University of Texas

Tuesday, May, 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – or Déjà vu all over again.

Posted on May 10, 2016 | 1 comment

Tuesday, May, 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – or Déjà vu all over again.

Given that I somehow picked up a cyber bucket load of friends over the weekend I thought I better tell everyone about Here’s What I’m Thinking again. I am already wondering how many have Unfollowed or Unfriended me already.

I write a weblog called Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT). The blog then connects to Facebook and other social media sites. The easiest way to read what I am thinking about is to Google Drdrd85.me. It should take you directly to the website.

The purpose is to make at least one person smile/laugh or think every day – Monday through Friday and sometimes on the weekend. Notice: it is not called Here’s What I Believe. Nor it is called Here’s What I think You Should Believe.

During the seasons (college football and college basketball) I write about sports. But it is not your ordinary sports column – mine include critiques of all fashion attire from the press box to the field. “Bent Mushberger? Who dressed you this morning? Please retire and go away.”

Monday is always My Monday after Football Weekend Awards. You can almost bet money that The Ugliest Uniform Award will go to the West Coast and probably from Oregon. Is there NIKE factory just for pukey yellow?

I write about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. This includes The Fighting Texas Aggies, the LSU Tigers, the rest of the SEC except for Florida and any school from that peninsula. I write about Uncle Will Muschamp at SC or whatever school happens to have hired him. I write about the Baylor Bears, THE University of Texas at Austin and what is left of the Big 12 Conference, the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks and Notre Dame or RL and refer to them as the NBC Network Conference.

Sidebar: Alabama. I have nothing to say about the school at the moment. But I know if I do not specifically mention Alabama, the Roll Tide Roll readers will comment.

Somedays I think about politics. Since none of us seem to know what to think about this year’s presidential election, I am a bipartisan snark. For example: Please sign the petition to get Hillary to stop wearing the green brocade jacket. It looks like you made it from the parlor curtains. Or perhaps to Mr. Trump – Sir, if elected will you have your private plane repainted as Air Force One or will you purchase a new one?”

I seem to have a diverse group of readers representing many views and experiences. Please know I respect you and your views. While I may disagree with you on some issues I will defend to the death and Remember the Alamo your right to say it.

Some days I write about the Texas public education system and the educational institution. You think the loss of cursive writing is an issue. See what else is happening to the youth of America.

As the first Native Born Texan in the family, I post many topics about Texas.

Texas Wall 2 (800x592)

My Proud to be from Texas Wall.

But as my dear Mama used to say “The only thing that separates a Coon Ass from a Jack Ass is the Sabine River.” Some days Louisiana gets the topic de jour. See French. Good, huh?

And of course I write about my family and friends. This is how I get readers. They live in fear of what I am going to say. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point in time. You should hope I refer to you with a loving nickname because I like you and only you know who you are. If I don’t like you, I might add all of your personal information including a MapQuest link to your house.

At least 98% of what I post is my original work including photographs. The remaining 2% comes from other postings only if I am impressed or too lazy to post my own work. If I use some one’s photo, I try to give credit to the photographer or from whose collection I borrowed it.

That is a summary of Here’s What I Thinking. Thank you for reading. I hope you find something along the way to make you smile or think about.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

Photo by me.

CC: Hillary Clinton’s email server

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Wednesday, March 9, 2016 – Your Basketball Bracket Primer – Going Dancing – Part I – The Women’s Tournament

Posted on March 9, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, March 9, 2016 – Your NCAA Basketball Tournament Bracket Primer – Going Dancing – Part I – The Women’s Tournament

Gather ye basketballs while ye may, the time is still a flying; And that same team that flies today; tomorrow will be dying.

Monday evening the ESPN will air the selection show for the NCAA Division I women’s tournament. Sixty-four teams will be selected to go to the dance. Let’s start with terminology.

Automatic bid – these are teams who win their conference or their conference tournament. It is like going to the dance with your long-time boy/girl friend.

At large invitation – these are teams who did not win their conference or their conference tourney, but will get to go to the dance. It like hoping you get asked to the big dance by somebody.

Bracket – a funny little chart showing which teams play against one another. More to come on brackets after Monday.

Bracket Virgins – your first time to complete a tournament bracket.

The Dance – the championship tournament is referred to as “the dance.” I do not know why.

Final Four – the last four teams left after everybody has played through their bracket. These teams play to be crowned 2016 Basketball National Champions.

Hardware/Bling – Hardware refers to the trophy; Bling refers to the BIG diamond rings you get if you win the tournament. The bling is the size of the nob on your dresser drawers.

Ticket punched – this is the term that a team received an automatic invitation and is loading the bus or plane to travel to a destination selected by people who actually get paid to watch, analyze and make up brackets for sporting events.

Let’s see who already has their tickets punched to the Dance and the conferences represented.

  1. George Washington – A-10 Conference
  2. Notre Dame – ACC
  3. Chattanooga – Southern
  4. South Carolina – SEC
  5. Maryland – Big 10
  6. Oregon State – Pac 12 – Go Beavers! It is not the usual champ – Stanford. Sorry Tara V. I hope you get an at-large bid.
  7. Iona – MAAC Conference. I must admit I was devastated when Iona upset Quinnipiac 57-41.
  8. Yale – Ivy League
  9. St. Johns – Big East Conference. It is St. Johns first trip to the Dance since 1988. Come on – you got to like St. Johns. Their band plays New York – New York – “Start spreading the news; I’m leaving today…”
  10. Baylor – Big 12 Conference
  11. UNC Wilmington – Colonial Conference
  12. University of San Francisco – WCC
  13. Florida Gulf Coast – Atlantic Sun
  14. UNC Ashville – Big South
  15. Northern Iowa – Missouri Valley
  16. Austin Peay – Ohio Valley

I have never heard of most these teams either and my TV automatically turns to ESPN so do not fret.

Still to come – tournament winners from the following alphabet soup of conferences: West Coast; Mountain West; American East, MAC, SWAC, Big Sky MEAC, WAC. No, I have no idea what the letters stand for either. You have Google on your computer, look them up.

I think I left out a team. Oh yes – UConn from the AAC. I refer to this team as Geno and his Giants. I shall yell for any team playing UConn.

The at-large bids will “round out” the field of 64 teams. This should include Texas A&M, THE University of Texas @ Austin, and other teams that are really good basketball teams.

Then play begins. There is no tomorrow. You win or you go home. The objective is to continue to play until there are only four teams left. This is called The Final Four. Notice: there are four teams I have bolded. These are my Final Four predictions. Notre Dame, South Carolina, Baylor and UConn.

Another prediction: Baylor will win the Championship Game against UConn.

But then again it is not called March Madness without reason. Yale or any other team could throw the ball toward the basket on a desperate shot and win on a buzzer beater. A buzzer beater is defined as: with the scored tied and only seconds left to play in the game, a desperation shot is attempted; the ball goes through the basket and the team wins. Shades of Louisville several years ago and all Baylor fans wanted to (or did) throw up.

As we wait for Selection Monday, let’s begin to cheer for teams we want to win somewhere in the tournament. Sic’ Em Bears. Gig ‘Em Aggies and yes, even Hook ‘Em Horns. Somebody bring that hardware and bling back to The Lone Star State from Connecticut! Geno and the Giants already have too much hardware and too much bling. It is someone else’s turn for hardware and bling.

GB & Me (800x600)

GB (Gary Blair – Texas A&M women’s basketball coach) and me. Photo by the crazy women who shoved me out of the way to get her photo made with GB.

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Saturday, December 19, 2015 – HOOK ‘EM HORNS! (For Today Only)

Posted on December 19, 2015 | Leave a comment

Saturday, December 19, 2015 – HOOK ‘EM HORNS! (For Today Only)

THE University of Texas at Austin, women’s volleyball team plays Nebraska this afternoon for The 2015 NCAA National Championship.

Longhorn Band (800x600)

Photo by Martha

Let’s go ladies. Light that tower burnt orange.

And before we leave the orange …

LET’S GO BEARKATS. Sam Houston State University plays # 1 Jacksonville State in the semi-finals of Division I FBS.

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Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on November 13, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

  • Florida and South Carolina
  • Kansas and TCU
  • Ohio State and Illinois
  • THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at    #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their  record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

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Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Posted on November 6, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Don’t forget to vote for Gayla for Team Mom of the Year.

http://www2.usafootball.com/poll_management/userpoll/6

It is Separation Weekend in college football. This is when the Big Boy Pads are put on because one loss separates your team from the National Championship Bracket, the Conference championships and your team goes to the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

I am thinking Baylor probably wanted more separation in the score than shown last night against Kansas State. Thirty-one to 24 does not impress The Selection Committee. But the true freshman quarterback was most impressive for Baylor.

But what games will you watch tomorrow?

Texas Tech and West Virginia have the joy of the 11:00 AM game on FS1 in the meeting of mediocracy in Morgantown, West Virginia. Tech – those big mounds of dirt are called mountains.

Notre Dame and Pitt line up on ABC at 11:00. A loss could send ND spiraling downward into some depth of Dante’s Inferno or at least to a bowl game in a hot desert setting.

What will impress The Committee will be at 2:30 on Fox with a showdown in Boone Pickens Stadium in Stillwater Oklahoma when unbeaten TCU visits unbeaten Oklahoma State. GO COWBOYS!

OSU Download 178 (600x800)

Pistol Pete

Equally impressive to The Committee will be Florida State and Clemson at 2:30 on ABC from Clemson, South Carolina. I’ve never been one to pull for Florida State, but Go Noles!

The separations continue in the SEC at 2:30 on CBS. There is a big HOG calling from every team in the SEC as the Razorbacks travel to Oxford, Mississippi and The Grove to attempt the upset of Ole Miss. An upset by the Hogs could set up some very interesting scenarios.

In the evening, creeping up the College Football Polls are the Sooners of OU at 6:00 on ESPNU against Iowa State. A big score from the Fabulous Baker Boy’s team could attract the eyes of The Committee.

In the evening keep a watchful out on the States – as in Ohio State and Michigan State. The Committee will be watching.

The separation Saturday for last place in The Big 12 Conference is THE University of Texas and Kansas. Kansas can get out of last place and THE University can safely secure it’s place in the unfamiliar middle section of the Big 12 rankings.Longhorn Band (800x600)

The game will be broadcasts on the Longhorn Network at 7:00. Unless you are wearing a burnt oranges shirt, everyone else will be watching Texas A&M and Auburn and/or Alabama and LSU.

In another game for separation for last place in the SEC West we have Auburn and the ever-so-tactful, Will Muschamp, visiting the new Kyle Field at 6:30 on the SEC Network. A loss for Auburn pretty much seals them in last place SEC – West. A loss for the Aggies could mean the difference between the Aggies playing Notre Dame in some desert state or in the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

Sully's Boots

BTHO Auburn

And now for the Big Separation. Even with 100% precipitation predicted in Tuscaloosa, the Tide will NOT Roll over the Tigers. Alabama will be soggy toast. And this weekend my Alabama friends, I cannot be your friend.

Sabin sign (600x800)

Here is why – I am going with The Tigers and the Family DNA. Come on, Bama, you know you can’t catch them Boys from The Bayou. They know how to run from them allimugatros in bayou. You thank they gonna be scared? Nah. They done gonna put dat voodoo on you! And I am making me some gumbo in anticipation of the celebration. Run Leonard Run!

GEAUX TIGERS!

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Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

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In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

 

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Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 26, 2015 | 3 comments

Monday, October 26, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

The Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word: “kakistocracy.” It is a noun meaning a government by the worst persons, a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Since ever one seems to think the worst persons are already in the government or are running for office, I wanted to offer enlightenment and new vocabulary words to all sides. Please feel free to use this and any other intelligent sounding words, since none of you seem to have many to start with.

Ghosts. Goblins. Warlocks and Witches. And Halloween is still a week away. This was a most strange weekend in college football.

Let’s begin with the Flood Bowls along Interstate 35 and travel north.

While the rains and floods may have inundated Austin and DKR Memorial Stadium, there were several bright spots of hope and sunshine. THE University wins the Lazerous Award appearing to rise from the dead.

I asked my roomie to take a picture and I would post it when THE University began a winning streak. This was earlier in the season because she has the good sense to come in out of the rain.

Longhorn Band (800x600)

Photo by Martha 2015 – aka Roomie

Moving north where the rains were really falling over McClain Stadium in Waco, The Bears win the “45 points are the new 60 plus in the rain.” I hope The Committee in November has a Flood Criteria. It is Baylor and the Baptists do like a good dunking, but that was an Ark building flood.

Oklahoma had no problem with Texas Tech. Coach Kliff, what’s with the new hairdo? I am not current on the fashion trends coming out of Lubbock but that new hair cut looks like an Aggie Fish Corp of Cadets haircut – a bad one. Was your hair, or lack of it, supposed to look that way?

The Michael Jackson Thriller Award is shared by Auburn and Arkansas and Duke and Virginia Tech. What are the odds there would be two games with four overtimes? What are the odds of that happening? Please have Dr. Sheldon Cooper do the math.

The Yogi Berra – It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over Award goes to The Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech who rambled down the field after a Florida State missed field goal that would have won the game. Georgia Tech ran for the winning touchdown as time expired.

The Utah Utes fall from the undefeated ranks as the USC Trojans opened a lethal virus on them. The Utes win the Beware the Trojan Horse Award.

To the Texas Aggies, I award the Hotty Toddy and Kiss my Magnolia Blossom Award because the Ole Miss Rebels certainly did.

To Kyler Murray I am awarding the Coach/Player Etiquette Book of Football Practice Manners. Screaming the F word to and about your offensive coordinator during practice is indeed a bench sitting practice issue.

The Aggies also receive the Free Tire and Wheel Check because the wheels are coming off the bus again.

Perhaps I should post a classified ad in the newspaper or post something on Craig’s List.  WANTED: Quarterback. Please send video and application to The Texas Athletic Department; Attn: K. Sumlin.

And last, but not least – to the Alabama Crimson Tide, I award The Poopy Undies Award, the CPR Award and The Survivor Award for the fourth quarter comeback win over Tennessee. You also win The Doors and Jim Morrison’s The Alabama Song that is also known As The Whiskey Bar. I know this is how you felt while in Knoxville and upon leaving Saturday night. Something tells me you were not drinking Tennessee bourbon at the Whiskey Bar.

The Alabama Song

Well, show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

Show me the way To the next whiskey bar

Oh, don’t ask why Oh, don’t ask why

For if we don’t find The next whiskey bar I tell you we must die I tell you we must die I tell you,

I tell you I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama

We now must say goodbye

We’ve lost our good old mama

And must have whiskey Oh, you know why!

Just think – next Saturday is Halloween. Be ready for anything.

Finally, to Oklahoma State and Delaware University as tragedies marred both of their homecoming parades. All are in our thoughts.

OSU with ribbon

Thank you Kristen for the picture. I am sad for all of you and the Cowboy Nation.

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Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Posted on October 23, 2015 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 23, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football – Game On

Garrett2 (800x525)

First – my apology to Myles Garrett for misspelling his name last week.

The Schedule today begins with The Rain Barrel Bowls up and down Texas Interstate 35.

Starting in Austin and playing @ 11:00 on Fox 1 is THE University of Texas and Kansas State. Tell the Wildcats they are no longer in Kansas and give them a good hooking of the Horns. I have your photograph ready to post Roomie signifying a home win and winning streak for the Horns in DKR Memorial Stadium! Stay Strong and get it done!

Traveling north to Waco we find the Iowa State Weather Patterns visiting Waco and playing Baylor @ 11:00 on ESPN. I understand one is to wear green and gold depending on your ticket location. This will make McLane Stadium green and gold striped. I know you can get yellow (gold) rain slickers at Academy, but can you get green rain slickers? Is Nike working on that? Surely with that many uniforms and shades of green Nike has got something in the warehouse they can Fed-Ex to Waco for the fans.

Crossing the state line into Norman along I-35 we find Oklahoma and Texas Tech @ 2:30 on ESPN2. I wonder what Baker and Stoops and Coach Kliff and the Red Raiders have planned against and up their respectively sleeves besides a rough history.

Taking a right turn and headed toward Stillwater we find the Cowboys of Oklahoma State playing Kansas @ 2:30 on Fox 1 and slowing creeping up in the Big 12. Go Pokes. It’s Kansas. Remember they play basketball like Kentucky does.

Remember there are only 10 teams in the Big 12 and eight are playing. So that leaves TCU and WVa having the weekend off.

Now to the games that actually have meaning (the only ones worth watching) so that means the SEC teams because Ohio State plays Rutgers.

Opposite the Rain Barrel Bowls on the SECN @ 11:00 am will be Auburn and Arkansas with last place up for grabs in the SEC West. Do you like bacon on your burger Uncle Will Muschamp?

What once could have been interesting is now Alabama and Tennessee in Tuscaloosa @ 2:30. Oh no – the game is on CBS. I hope you do not get the Can’t Broadcast S##% announcers. Turn on the radio broadcast to avoid.

And going out with The Tide here is a little Thank You shout out to Coach Sabin regarding last week’s visit to Aggieland –

“You know, this is the first place we’ve played for a long, long time, that we never got booed when we came out,” Saban said. “First place. I’m telling you. It’s a really nice facility. They had 105,000 people. And they cheered their tail off for their team. And they made it hard for us to play.” ESPN quotes somewhere on their application.

At 3:00 on the SEC Network will be another game for last place in the SEC East with Missouri and Vanderbilt. Take a nap, but be up and ready for the only games of competition beginning at 6:00.

On ESPNU @ 6:00 we find Western Kentucky visiting Baton Rouge hosted by Leonard Fournette’s team the LSU Tigers. Run Leonard run. With each step you get a bit closer to going to New York to get a big trophy.

At 6:30 in another game of why are play this team? This is Mississippi State and Kentucky on the SECN. This is not Western Kentucky which I suppose is geographically west of the Kentucky that Mississippi State is playing. I understand the men’s basketball team at Kentucky is quite good. Yes – Number 1.

At 6:30 on Fox is the Utah Utes (I just love saying that) and USC Trojans in Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. If Utah should become number two in The Committee’s ranking in November, will they be “the two Utes?” (My Cousin Vinny)

But the only game of significance is the Cutbirth Bowl (as in William Cutbirth Faulkner) on ESPN from Oxford Mississippi @ 6:00 when the Ole Miss Rebels host The Fighting Texas Aggies. It is an elimination game for the SEC West title. Should make visits to Baton Rouge interesting for both teams. But one game at a time.

Sully's Boots

So Howdy Damnit and Hotty Toddy and BTHO Ole Miss.

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Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on October 5, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, October 5, 2015 – Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Our Monday after Saturday College Football Awards are brought to you today by the word “amphigory.” Amphigory is a noun meaning “a meaningless or nonsensical piece of writing, especially one intended as a parody.” A quote – “it is the mother of all miscellanies, aka an amphigory, a medley, a pot-pourri, a gallimaufry, a salmagundi, and omnium-gatherum, a vade mecum, a smorgasbord. Robert McCrum, “God bless you Mr. Schott, The Guardian, December 7, 2002. (Dictionery.com)

Yes, all of those words will be on your assessment exam because they so describe Here’s What I’m Thinking and I have no idea what most of them mean. – Vade mecum?

But if that don’t describe the chaotic weekend of college football… Here is your ado, so further it by reading on.

To the horrible broadcasters of the Texas Aggie/Mississippi State game on the SECN – Brent Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer. What is the deal? Are you somebody’s brother-in-law? Son-in-law? Do you have video of people? I am not certain, Mr. Palmer, but I think you are supposed to give equal time to both teams. Did you not even pick up an A&M media guide? You get the Mute Button Award.

The Most Points Award goes to the Baylor Bears 63- 35 over Texas Tech. I do not think these bears are going into hibernation anytime soon.

However, it is a tie for Ugliest Uniforms between those bleached-out TCU lavender tops and the drab grey, olive and yellow uniforms of Baylor. Who is your uniform rep? Stevie Wonder?

There are several Poo-Poo Undies Awards that go to:

  • Michigan State
  • Ohio State
  • Oklahoma State

For having close games and scaring the poo out of your fan base. That # 1 Spot is looking very shaky, Buckeyes. Larry Culpepper is watching.

FYI – It was accurratte, that the officials from The Big 12 apologized for the bad calls by the referees. They were not accurrette when they established the line of scrimmage. The Spell Check Award goes to The Big 12. Is that accurratte?

The Pepto-Bismol for Dismal Awards goes the teams that were upset: These are:

  • UCLA – by Arizona State
  • Ole Miss by Florida
  • Notre Dame by Clemson
  • The State of South Carolina by Floods

Speaking of Dismal – The Train wreck Award goes THE University of Texas. I have no other words to say save – it could get worse. OU+CH = OUCH next Saturday. Next week UT players can tweet at half-time and call for Uber to come pick them up and just head on over to the State Fair of Texas.

Auburn wins the Dionne Warwick award for knowing “the way to San Jose.” Now do you know the way back to the SEC?

The Rain and Let’s Build an Ark Awards goes to:

  • Ole Miss vs Florida – the Florida team had the flu all week; the Swamp floods and the Rebels sink.
  • Notre Dame vs Clemson – Death Valley floods and the Irish sink.
  • Georgia vs. Alabama – The Tide was even Rising from the sky.

And to The Crimson Tide of Alabama I am giving them the William T. Sherman Award as they “…sing the jubilee; hoorah, hoorah, the flag that makes us free; while we sang a chorus from Atlanta to the sea – While they were marching Through Georgia.”

And to The Fighting Texas Aggies – I am awarding the Reveille is so much prettier than Bully Award. Not to mention she does not drool and she wears clothes.

The QB of the Game Award goes to Kyle Allen of Texas A&M. The stats on passing leaders:

  1. D. Prescott 20-34 for 210 yards.
  2. K. Allen 25-41 for 322 yards, 2 TDs.

Or as Palmer would say: Prescott was edged out by Allen.

The Aggies have an open date next Saturday and Alabama entertains the Pork and beans from Arkansas.

But then … Coming to Kyle Field on a station near you – Alabama vs Texas A&M – October 17. BTHO Alabama.

Flags @ Front (800x529)

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Monday, September 28, 2015 – A College Football Weekend for the Ages

Posted on September 28, 2015 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 28, 2015 – A College Football Weekend for the Ages

It was indeed a college football weekend for the ages. I know the Aggie/Arkansas game alone aged me at least two years. With the chaos that reigned, we do not need an ado to further, so here are my Here’s What I’m Thinking Monday after Saturday College Football Awards.

Our Monday after Saturday College Football Awards post is brought to you by the word “minimax.”

No, minimax does not refer to the old chain of grocery stores in the South. Neither does it refer to a feminine hygiene product. It is a “noun that means a strategy of game theory employed to minimize a player’s maximum loss.

This is the principle of minimax: assume that the worst may happen and act accordingly; remember that lightening always strikes twice in the same place. This is a basic law known to all successful gamblers. William S. Burroughs, The Adding Machine, Selected Essays, 1993.” Sunday’s Word of the Day – Dictionary.com

It was also the game strategy employed by the Arkansas Razorbacks against Texas A&M. But first, please have the following teams line up to receive The Poo Poo Undies Award. This award is given to the following teams for scaring the crap out of its fans and/or for just crapping out completely.

  • LSU – Otto the Orange proved much harder to squeeze that originally thought.
  • TCU
  • Texas Tech
  • THE University of Texas
  • Oklahoma State University
  • Texas A&M
  • Ole Miss – Really? Vanderbilt? BTW – Vandy, you get The Ugly Helmet Award. How many more designs can you put on a football helmet?
  • Alabama – not exactly scary, but the Tide is still a bit low.
  • Oregon

Please have all of the centers and kickers – yes field goal and punters – line up for The What’s the Point Award for missing crucial field goals and extra points or creating safeties.

  • Otto the Orange from Syracuse
  • Texas Tech
  • THE University of Texas
  • Texas A&M

The Most Points Scored Award goes to Baylor University. Yes, 70 to 17 is impressive, but it was still Rice. But given the way the other Big 12 teams are playing maybe it’s all gravy from here on out for the Bears.

The Duck Duck Gone Award goes to Oregon for losing to the soaring Utah Utes.

The Dumbass: Do Your Homework Award goes to the half-time announcer who asked “What’s a Ute?” The University of Utah uses Ute as a nickname with permission from the Native American Utes Tribal Council. In 1996, again with permission from the Ute Tribal Council, Utah introduced “Swoop” – a red-tailed hawk, a bird indigenous to the state of Utah.

Speaking of Ducks, the Tide Rolled over the Duck Dynasty from UL Monroe. The Tide still seems to be low and/or rolling out. Ouch – AP Poll Ranking – # 13 – with Georgia in Athens this weekend. UGA!

The Free Falling/Uncle Will Muschamp Defense Award goes once again this week to Auburn. This is what happens when your mascot is named after a dopy New England poet.

The Why Are You Still in the Top 5/6 Award is shared by TCU and Notre Dame. Really? I know the Frogs are injured and barely hopping, and you barely won

  • On a botched snap by Texas Tech that resulted in a safety
  • On a freak Tippy Tippy Bang Bang in the last seconds
  • You almost allow The Band play with multiple laterals and
  • Your defense allowed 52 points from an unranked team.

And Notre Dame? Just because the Pope has been in the United States does not mean you should be in The Top 10.

And to THE University of Texas – Yes, the refs were from The School for Blind and Visually Impaired; yes, there are still many burnt orange bright spots, but I must give the Horns the Streets of Laredo Award:

So beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly and

play the death march as they carry me along.

UT OSU Nov 16.2013 2013-11-16 026

The award for Does this Three -Point Margin of Victory Make my Ass Look Big? goes to TCU and Coach Gary Patterson.

Two individual awards this week: First to the Texas Tech quarterback Patrick Mahomes for heroic and knee hurting courage to give your all.

And to Leonard Fournette of LSU I am giving the Wow, You Are Fun to Watch Run Award. Could there be another Heisman Award headed toward the LSU Tiger trophy case?

And now may I have the final awards’ package?

Arkansas – the state that gives us Mike Huckabee and The Clintons.

Minimax – “noun that means a strategy of game theory employed to minimize a player’s maximum loss.

This is the principle of minimax: assume that the worst may happen and act accordingly; remember that lightening always strikes twice in the same place. This is a basic law known to all successful gamblers. William S. Burroughs, The Adding Machine, Selected Essays, 1993

Was this your coaching strategy, Coach Bielema? Playing keep away from the opponent’s offense almost worked. The thing about the hurry up and spread offensive is – when you don’t have the ball, the other team scores quickly and often.

The Assume the Worst May Happen Award goes to Coach Bret Bielema of Arkansas. The worst did happen.

The Poise under Pressure Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies.

Lighting Always Strikes Twice in the Same Place Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies.

So it wasn’t exactly an “ass-kicking in Dallas.” I guess you are saving yourself for the remainder of the SEC.

Stop Whining: You Lost – Maximum Loss Award goes to the Razorbacks of Arkansas. See you next year.

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