Tag Archives: Baylor

Wednesday, December 30, 2-15 – An Attack of Bureaucracy, Bears and Tigers and On My T-Shirt Soapbox

Wednesday, December 30, 2-15 – An Attack of Bureaucracy, Bears and Tigers and On My T-Shirt Soapbox

But first – Who needs a quarterback when you can just run the football? Congratulations to Baylor and their record setting college football bowl game for most rushing yards. Run, Johnny, Run. Speaking of running and rushing, how about that Leonard Fournette? Geaux Tigers!

Texas Tech, the red shoes were working for you. They looked good on TV. Too bad you could not click your red shoes together three times and say “There’s no place like Lubbock.” You still have one of the best looking coaches and next year you will have a defense. Meanwhile, tie that quarterback down. He is a good one.

As I said, I had an attack of bureaucracy the other day when reading a Facebook post and decided to make up some rules to alleviate the attack.

The great, Kris Kristofferson sings the theme song of all bureaucracies “When you waste your time a talking to the people who don’t listen, who do you think’s gonna care?” Nevertheless, like all recovering bureaucrats, I am still going to respond. I told you I had an attack of bureaucracy, but I did not call together a committee or focus group. It is just my brain, as usual.

The individual’s post was the person’s reflection on college student athletes and their inability to articulate during an interview. The individual went on to say “perhaps the athletes should be required to take an English course to learn to speak.” I just happen to know the individual is a T-shirt wearer only and never attended college.

Here’s What I’m Thinking – There is a distinct difference between the individual who only wears the T-shirt of their favorite college or university and one who attended and earned it. We see the sacrifices from the inside not the outside. Unless one actually put in the sacrifices necessary to earn that T-shirt, one has a completely different perspective. This includes spouses’ and parents’ sacrifices so their husbands, wives, children and grandchildren could attend college and earn that T-shirt. An even better proof of sacrifice is the sheepskin with the funny looking letters written on it for the Baccalaurean Degrees (or other designated degrees) Sidebar: when is the last time you used “Baccalaurean” in a sentence? See what going to college can do?

Here are some thing for you to think about, FB Poster, before you criticize a student athlete and their skill sets.

Rule 1 – NEVER criticize the student-athlete. This is a young person who is performing in a classroom setting that just happens to have millions of people watching.

Rule 2 – Do not make judgements based on a single interview of an individual player.

Rule 3 – Be in the moment. Think back to when you were 18-to 21 years old. How articulate were you when a national reporter shoved a microphone in your face? Especially after the adrenaline rush of a football game you have just played. One just might be a paleontology major with a 3.0+ GPA who really does not like to speak in public.

Rule 4 – Ensure you have the correct course of study. Student athletes are required to take public speaking courses. Not English courses. They are not going to write a book or a poem or diagram a sentence. They not only take courses in public speaking, they are required to take seminars in professional dress and professional dining etiquette. This is not to mention job interviewing skills.

Rule 5 – One may criticize and/or critique the coaching staff, the refereeing squad and the so-called “professional” commentators. Most of these people should be criticized, critiqued and even fired for their lack of speaking skills and use of proper grammar and their inability to articulate. They are paid to be “professional.” The student athlete is not. He or she is just trying to do what they love and be the best at it.

I am so glad FB Poster loves college football and supports their team, but please think about this – the players may be 10 feet tall, weigh 400 pounds, or can out run the wind, but inside they are still kids.

Now, I am going to put on my T-Shirt for tonight’s Music City Bowl. Gig ‘Em, Aggies!

BTHO Louisville

Garrett2 (800x525)

Myles Garrett – Paleontology Major at Texas A&M with 3.0+ GPA. Oh yes, he is a pretty good defensive end too.

Sully's Boots

Coins for good luck at Sully’s Boots.

 

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

Monday, December 28, 2015 – It Is the Last Week of 2015 – The Third Quarter of College Football Bowl Games

It is the last week of the year 2015. It will be a week filled with more college football games. However, some of these games should be quite good and two of them will be quite exciting – we hope.

One must check last week’s Here’s What I’m Thinking for your handy dandy bowl games, times, teams and station the game will be played prior to New Year’s Eve. A quick review of the only ones I care about are: Bowl Game # 23 on Dec 29 – Baylor; Bear with Foot

Bowl Game # 25 – LSU ; Mike the Tiger and Tortilla Tech Tech (800x600)

Dec 30 Bowl # 28 – The Fighting Texas Aggies – BTHO Louisville.

Corps (800x600)

I did not keep up with the previous college football games played so I only have a couple of awards based on the two games I only saw end.

Bowl # 15 – Miami wins the “We left Miami for this Weather?” Award. The Hyundai Sun Bowl in El Paso was played in blizzard conditions causing the camera people to be unable to find the football. Best part of that game – seeing the winning coach from Washington State, Mike Leach, get slammed by two Gatorade buckets – one of Gatorade; the other of ice in the blizzard.

Bowl # 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl – Indiana, you win The Too High, Not Reviewable, You Got Screwed Award. This is presented when the referees said no good to the potential tying field goal in OT. This allowed Duke to win its first football bowl game since 1961. I told you these teams played basketball.

Fast forward to Thursday, December 31 – New Year’s Eve.

# 30 Chick-fil A Peach Bowl – the University of Houston and Florida State sans starting quarterback, starting at noon on ESPN. I learned years ago from my LSU cousins – Never pull for a team from Florida.

Then at 4:00 – Here we go – This is what we have been waiting for. Invented by Larry Culpepper, it is The College Football Playoffs.

The # 31st Bowl Game is game one of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. The Capital One Orange Bowl finds ranked at # 4 The University of Oklahoma Sooners, representing the Big 12 Conference, versus the # 1 the Clemson Tigers, representing the Atlantic Coast Conference at 4:00 on ESPN. Good luck, Sooners. And good luck to your future quarterback Kyler Murray. Seriously, I do wish him well. He is fast, but he also looks like he is one hit away from a body cast.

Following this game is Bowl Game # 32 and game two of The College Football Playoff Semifinal. At 8:00 PM on ESPN from Arlington, Texas comes The Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic. The first land grant school in history, the # 3 ranked Michigan State Spartans will drown as the # 2 Crimson Tide from Alabama rolls over them like a category 5 Gulf Coast hurricane that comes rolling in during the middle of the night. Sorry. Got a bit carried away and lost my objectivity.

Jan 1 – It’s a brand new year. 2016!!! However we are pretty much back to football teams that no one cares about unless you went to school there.

# 33 – The Outback Bowl from Tampa at noon on ESPN2 we find Northwestern and Tennessee. I think I will go have a steak at Outback.

#34 is The Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl between Michigan and Florida – also sans quarterback and sans any cheering for the Gators.

#35 is The BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl. The BattleFrog Fiesta? Shouldn’t TCU be playing in this? This sounds like some kind of amphibian frolicking party in the punch bowl. Anyway it is Notre Dame and The Ohio State University at 1:00 PM on ESPN.

# 36 The Granddaddy of the Bowl Games is the Rose Bowl between the Smarty Pants of Stanford and Iowa at 5:00 on ESPN. I love a parade. Going to Pasadena to the Rose Bowl Parade is a bucket list item.

# 37 – Bowl game # 37 is the bowl game that offers the most fun regardless of who wins. Gniece # 1’s alma mater, the Oklahoma State Cowboys plus Pistol Pete and the Ole Miss Rebels in the Suga Bowl in Nawlins. These teams kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. Go Pokes! I shall have a toddy or two. Pistol Pete

Jan 2 – The further away the games move from New Years, the less anyone cares about the games.

# 38 – The TaxSlayer Bowl between The ugly, yet traditional uniforms of Penn State and The University of Georgia is at noon on ESPN.

# 39 – The AutoZone Liberty Bowl with Kansas State and Arkansas from Memphis at 3:20 on ESPN.

# 40 – The Valero Alamo Bowl finds Oregon and TCU – Ducks and Frogs – playing at 6:45 on ESPN.

# 41 – The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl between West Virginia and Arizona State at 10:15 PM on ESPN. I hope they leave the light on for next year. You were expecting another network?

And then there was one. The college football bowl games are over, except for one. – The fourth and final quarter of the college football season.

On January 11, 2016 The National Champion of Division I College Football will be crowned. The game will kick off at 8:30 on ESPN. I am hoping two team both dressed in shades of red and white making it hard to distinguish the teams.

ROLL TIDE!

Schedule courtesy of ESPN and The Associated Press. That means I found it on the Internet.

 

Monday, December 20, 2015 – The Second Quarter of the Forty College Football Bowl Games.

Monday, December 20, 2015 – The Second Quarter of the Forty College Football Bowl Games.

“A horse!” A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” from Shakespeare’s Richard III, Act 5, Scene 4, lines 7-10.

Texas version. “A quarterback! A quarterback. My team for a quarterback!” From Texas’ Coach V, Teams 5 (schools), Scene 5, (Bowls and Championships), players 10+

The five teams Baylor, Texas A&M, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, and the Celina Bobcats (3A high school state championship lost the quarterback to a broken wrist on the first series played. Celina lost the game too.)

And now the Second Quarter of The Ridiculous Number of College Football Bowl Games that no one really cares about.

December 23

Bowl Number 11 – The GoDaddy Bowl begins at 8:00 PM on ESPN between Georgia Southern and Bowling Green. Go Daddy. This name offers so many directions. Let’s just say Go Daddy and leave the rest to TV commercials and social workers.

December 24 – Christmas Eve

Bowl 12 is The Popeye’s’ Bahamas Bowl that kicks off at noon on ESPN between Middle Tennessee and Western Michigan. I am not certain if the name of this bowl refers to the chicken franchise or the cartoon sailor. Who cares about the teams? One is in the Bahamas.

Bowl 13 is the Hawaii Bowl at 8:00 PM between San Diego State and Cincinnati on ESPN. Same criteria for Hawaii as Bahamas – who cares who is playing? Get me a drink with an umbrella in it.

December 26

Bowl 14 finds us in St. Petersburg to watch Connecticut and Marshall on our monopolistic favorite ESPN at 11: 00 AM. I would love to be in St. Pete again but only with J and R again.

Bowl 15 finds The Hyundai Sun Bowl between Miami and Washington State at 2:00 PM on CBS. Look you can change the channel to CBS.

Bowl 16 – is The I am so Bored Bowl. No wait. It is the Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl between Washington and Southern Mississippi on ESPN. The Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas? Are you kidding me? Back to The I am so Bored Bowl. Anyway it is at 2:00.

Bowl 17 – The New Era Pinstripe Bowl between Indiana and Duke. I thought these schools played basketball.   Coming to you live from the Bronx and Yankee Stadium on ABC at 3:30. Wait – there is a football bowl game, named after a clothing pattern, played between two traditional basketball schools in a baseball stadium. I am so confused.

Bowl 18 – Give me a break. Really. There is a bowl game called The Camping World Independence Bowl? Guess there is. It is on ESPN at 5:45 between Tulsa and Virginia Tech. Does one have to camp out in the parking lot?

Bowl 19 is the Foster Farms Bowl. Is there a bowl game for Adopted Farms? This 9:15 kickoff on ESPN is between UCLA and Nebraska. Note: Nebraska has a losing record. Not to mention Nebraska fans wear giant yellow, phallic symbols of corn on their heads.

December 28

Bowl 20 is the Northrop Grumman Military Bowl at 2:30 on ESPN between Pittsburg and Navy. This one might be worth watching. Go Navy.

Bowl 21 is the Quick Lane Bowl – as opposed to the Slow Lane Bowl? This game is between Central Michigan and Minnesota at five o’clock on ESPN2.

December 29

Bowl 22 is Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl played between California and Air Force on ESPN at 2:00. Doesn’t Lockheed Martin make air craft?

Bowl 23 – In The Russell Athletic Bowl coming to us live from Florida at 5:30 on ESPN our teams are North Carolina and Baylor. Does Baylor get to wear one of its 10 variations of NIKE uniforms or is that a conflict of interest?

Baylor Band

Bowl 24 is The NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl between Nevada and Colorado State at 7:30 on Campus Insiders. Campus Insiders? That is what the schedule says. I think the ESPN people have been puffing in Colorado.

Bowl 25 is the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl at 9:00 between LSU and Texas Tech on ESPN. Goodie this is between a team I love and a team I do not love.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Tech (800x600)

December 30 – OMG – there are five more of these contests before we ever get to the next group.

Bowl 26 is The Birmingham Bowl at noon on ESPN between Auburn and Memphis. I wonder if Uncle Will Muschamp’s head will explode during this game prior to him becoming a Game Cock – which just adds more adjectives to describe Coach Articulate.

Bowl 27 is the Belk Bowl at 3:30 on ESPN (who else?) between North Carolina State and Mississippi State. What is the Belk Bowl?

Bowl 28 – The Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl. OK I must watch because this game is the Fighting Texas Aggies and Louisville. Mercy – talk about The 12th Man in action. We just might get to see somebody called out of the stands to suit up for this one. This bowl could be named so many things. How about “The We Mortgaged Kyle Field Renovations through Franklin American Bowl?” How about “The Ernest Hemmingway – A Farewell to Arms Bowl?” Oh hell, let’s just call it the Mucinex Bowl and expectorate and cough and Gig ‘Em Aggies. BTHO Louisville.

Corps (800x600)

BTHO

BTHO Louisville

Bowl 29 – The Holiday Bowl between USC and Wisconsin in San Diego offers a vacation to the Badgers at 10:30 on ESPN and sleep for me.

And that takes us to December 31 – New Year’s Eve when finally there will be some teams and games worth watching.

Our winners of this round are:

ABC – 2

CBS – 1

ESPN2 – 1

ESPN – 15

Corporate/Military Sponsors – 19

Nike – TBD

Adidas – TBD

Under Armor – Maybe one team

Russell Athletic – Maybe

Campus Insiders – Who? What?

Monday, November 30, 2015 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 30, 2015 –

The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

You are fired. You are hired. You are on the hot seat. We were really just kidding about Les Miles. It is College Head Football Coach Turnover Time.

Will Clemson, Oklahoma, Alabama and Michigan State please report to The Committee room? Your press conferences and commercials with Larry Culpepper and The Cheese Round for The National championship are to be taped after your Conference Championship games next Saturday. OU, you can go Sooner than the other three since they are not yet locked in and “The Big 12 wins their championship on the field.” Obviously, on the field in the ice in Stillwater over Oklahoma State.

But back to the weekend.

TCU/Baylor – The Down Pour Award – or The Siren Award. TCU, please do not employ the siren during a down pour in a driving wind and rain storm. It was the third time before I realized it wasn’t a tornado warning. I guess the Frogs really do like the rain.

Here’s to Chris Johnson III from Baylor – it was your first start; the Big 12 Title is on the line, it is played in a driving rain storm in the opponent’s stadium. Talk about Baptism by fire. Nevertheless, well done. Not even the real Vikings, let alone a former Bryan Viking could have weathered that storm.

The Palmetto Bowl – The South Carolina Gamecocks rose to the occasion to give Clemson a bit more than expected. Go UNC!

Poopy Undies and CPR Award goes to Alabama for scaring the fan base against Auburn but The Tide did bring home The Iron Bow Trophy. It was ugly but there is no room in the WIN column for comments or style points. Roll Tide over Florida.

The Best Cartoon Head Exploding Award goes to Will Muschamp of Auburn. Coach Dicktionery Muschamp also wins The Articulation Award for making his parents, teachers and church going people proud for his way with words. He “religiously questioned something about God’s dam building abilities and then questioned the referee’s mother’s coitus status” and received an additional 15 yard penalty making the total yardage for Unsportsmanlike Conduct 30 yards. Palmer and Mushburger, we know you are both stupid, but even a five year old could have read Muschamp’s lips.

Just when I was about to award The Ugly Uniform Award to Oregon for wearing green and yellow glow in the dark uniforms, the Aggies came on TV. When did the A&M colors become Butt Ugly and Black? The numbers looked like iron on foil decals. Just say no to black.

In addition to the offensive uniforms, the Aggie offense looked pretty offensive, but here’s to Tra Carson.  He’s the first Aggie running back to break a thousand yards since 2011 (Cyrus Gray) and the first to do so in the SEC. Well done, Tra. Perhaps next year you will have a real coordinator for the offense.

To the Tigers of LSU – you are awarded The Best Psych Out Award for whatever is going on over there with Les Miles. When you figure it out, let me know.

It must be the same decision makers who decided to let Three Doors Down play with the LSU band rather than give the Texas Aggie Band time.  Here’s What I’m Thinking – next Thanksgiving, you will be staying three doors down from College Station – in Hearne.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)Fighting Texas Aggie Band

Well, there are 16 games left and then we begin Bowl Season. There are 40 college bowl games. I am sure one will be kicking off near you soon. The question then becomes – Who Cares? Besides Nike and Adidas?

Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU

Friday, November 27, 2015 – Orange is the New Black Friday and BTHO – LSU!

Especially if your team is THE University of Texas. So throw me a tortilla and kneel down as if in Victory Formation. Burnt Orange! Raiders 48. Horns 45. Who is up next for THE University? Baylor. Is there a quarterback left between the two of you? Will both of you be playing in the Scott and White Hospital parking lot? Seriously, all get well soon.

But who is up for The Committee to review today and tomorrow?

Kicking off at 11:00 on ABC today we have at #15 The University of Houston and #21 Navy. Ooh. That Major Applewhite guy that is U of H offensive coordinator and quarterback coach “he looking pretty good now, huh tu?”

At 2:30 on ABC it is Nebraska and #4 Iowa in Lincoln. I will so promise to wear a yellow corn cob on my head if Nebraska can upset Iowa.

At 3:00 on FS1 it is always interesting to see what ensemble the Ducks of Oregon (aka The University of Nike) will wear against their arch rival the Beavers of Oregon State.

And coming to you live on ESPN at 6:30 the game we all anticipated, but then…TCU hosts Baylor and without the stars from either team, who knows what will happen. Sic ‘Em Bears.

Bear with Foot

Come Saturday – Let’s start the day with a The Big Chill game at 11:00 am on ABC between Michigan and Ohio State. Go Wolverines.

It is the Iron Bowl @ 2:30 on CBS from Auburn, Alabama – ROLL TIDE! Take no prisoners.

Does anyone know the Stanford Fight Song? It’s probably something like “Oh the square root of pi to the 78th decimal place is what we sing, because we all are geniuses and our mascot is a tree.” Just beat Notre Dame on Fox @ 6:30.

In what promises to be the icing on the cake, and not frosting, but ice, should be the Bedlam Game in Stillwater. ESPN Game Day will be there. So whatever head gear Corsor puts on, the other team will win between OU Sooners and Oklahoma State Cowboys at 7:00 pm on ABC. Could be a winner take all type of contest. GO POKES!

At 6:30 on the SECN The Fighting Texas Aggies and LSU Tigers coming to you live from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. Let me take this opportunity to let my dear LSU family and friends know just how excited this Aggie is to be going into Tiger Stadium after you have previously lost three games in a row; your coach has a U-Haul waiting in front of his house, you get to “welcome” your former defensive coordinator and LAST and certainly not LEAST, you are not allowing The Fighting Texas Aggie Band to attend. Well, those are certainly reasons to be concerned.

Tiger Stadium (800x389)

Kyle Field has a collage of all of the SEC stadiums.

Tailgate A&M Bama 10.17.15 2015-10-17 107 (800x527)

BTHO – LSU!

 

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

 

Friday, November 20, 2015 – Be Prepared! The End is Near. The Friday Before Saturday College Football Games.

There are only two games left in the regular season and they are like a Burger King order – Whoppers! Bowl Games are on the line; conference championships are at stake and all hell could break loose depending on the outcomes.

The morning begins @ 11:00 with #9 Michigan State and #3 Ohio State on ABC. An upset by the Spartans in the Land Grant College Bowl could create chaos for The Selection Committee. Go Spartans.

@ 2:30 #1 Clemson and Wake Forest on ESPN2. Yawn. Let me know the outcome.

@ 2:30 # 15 LSU and #22 Ole Miss in Oxford. Hotty Toddy . This is a huge rivalry. Eat your heart out LSU Fans. Look what I have in my possession – a commemorative shirt from the 1958 LSU National Championship. And yes, it is signed by Heisman Trophy winner Billy Cannon and it is signed by the player who threw the block springing Cannon down the sidelines against the Rebels for the winning touchdown, my wonderful cousin Donnie Daye. Geaux Tigers. Hang tough DD. FYI – this is why I am DRD and not DD. DD was already taken in the family.

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 005 (600x800)Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 004 - Copy (600x800)

Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

Heisman Trophy Winner – Billy Cannon 8.10.2014

@3:00 #2 Alabama plays Charleston Southern on the SECN. Please pass the cupcakes.

Night Falls and more screens are needed to keep up with these Whoppers.

@ 6:30 on NBCSN – in the Catholic Bowl the Catholics of # 4/5 Notre Dame meet the Catholics of Boston College in Boston. What a “mass” this could turn out to be.

@ 6:30 the #10 Baylor Bears at 9-1 meet the undefeated 10-0 Oklahoma State Cowboys in Stillwater, OK on Fox. This could have serious implications for The Big 12, throw The Selection Committee into chaos and set up a Bedlam Contest between Oklahoma State and OU for the ages. Since I know there will be family there, I am anxious to see who wears green and gold and who wears orange and black.

@7:00 #18 TCU vs # 7OU on ABC from Norman Oklahoma. The Frogs are sliding and Sooners are rising. If TCU’s QB Boykin is not cleared to play, Boomer Sooner will played ad nausea – like they do not do all the time anyway.

@ 6:00 we have Arkansas and Mississippi State on ESPN from Fayetteville, Ark. One never knows what those Razorbacks will do. Perhaps they can win in regulation.

@ 6:30 The Fighting Texas Aggies visit the Vanderbilt Commodores in Nashville, TN on SECN. Did you know that Vanderbilt University is the only altruistic contribution that Commodore Vanderbilt made? All of the other Robber Barons of the day spend millions on altruistic endeavors, but not the Commodore.

Helmets

BTHO Vanderbilt.

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, November 16, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

To paraphrase The Grateful Dead – What a long strange, football weekend it has been.

IMG_2135 (800x600)

Little Green Men invaded. Looks like a Big Green Man.

In keeping with music our awards program today is brought to you by Paul Simon’s Slip Sliding Away as we saw many teams’ championship hopes slide away with a loss.

The Awards for Championship Hopes that Slip Slided away go to:

  • Baylor lost to the Sooners of OU – 44-34.
  • LSU lost to the Arkansas Razorbacks 31-14. And the Razorbacks won in regulation with no OT.
  • Stanford lost to the Ducks of Oregon 38-36.
  • Utah falls to Arizona 30-37.

This just in – if your uniform is a variation of the color RED, please report The Playoff Committee. This includes, the top four according to Dr. Saturday – Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama and Oklahoma State. Larry Culpepper would like to see you. Notre Dame please stand by as an alternate. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/ncaaf-dr-saturday/oklahoma-state-and-notre-dame-move-up-in-ap-poll-192157357.html

Other awards go to:

The Burning Couch Award for “Couches, couches burning bright” goes to West Virginia. I know it is Tiger, tiger burning bright” by William Blake. But tigers did not burn bright anywhere except for Clemson. And I did not see how many couches were set afire with the West Virginia victory over THE University of Texas.

Ship wreck 2 (800x537)

SS University of Texas

TCU survived lowly Kansas 23 -17. But TCU does win the Ugly Uniforms Award. I am not sure what color the uniforms were but they did prove great hiding when you crapped in them when Boykin went down. Let’s hope he is OK. What color were your helmets? Pimp Car Purple?

The Texas Aggies who appear to continue to have a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season, win the Bigger, Stronger, Faster Award for playing with West Carolina like a catamount plays with its prey before winning 41-17.

The last award goes to the OU player who was ejected from the game for kicking a Baylor player in the facemask. He wins the Social Media Award for Poor Sportsmanship and Stupidity with his suggestion to the Baylor crowd that they have sexual intercourse with themselves. Remember Dude, the camera is always on!

Happy Monday.

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Friday, November 13, 2015 – The Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before we look at Saturday’s college football schedule, I want to give a shout out to PT (as in personal trainer, not physical therapist) Killer Queen (KQ). I am keying this post one letter at a time with a pencil between my teeth. This is the only part of my body that does not hurt.

Seems KQ wanted to try a new exercise routine yesterday that she found on Pinterest. Meagan, stop showing her this crap. It began with 15 push-ups. There were 30 jumping jacks – followed by 50 more. I lost consciousness sometime during the burpees and I think only 15 minutes had elapsed. I am still grinning today though. I did all of the exercises, lived to tell about them and have KQ to witness. Nice job, KQ.

But we must look forward to the really big football games tomorrow. Remember I write about football teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. If your team(s) is not mentioned, please let me know and I will be happy to make snarky comments about them.

The Selection Committee has spoken for the first rankings. I told you we (mostly me and RL) suspected a secret meeting between The Committee and The Pope to ensure Notre Dame over Baylor.

The early birds at 11:00 on various networks are:

  • Florida and South Carolina
  • Kansas and TCU
  • Ohio State and Illinois
  • THE University of Texas and West Virginia

THE University of Texas with a 4-5 record and West Virginia at 4-4 meet on ESPU coming live from Morgantown, West Virginia. Remember: When WVa wins, the students burn couches to celebrate the victory. Like I know why? I am not up on hillbilly culture and customs. Nevertheless, Horns, please protect the environment and do not allow couches to be set on fire.

At 2:30 our game watching options include:

Coming live from Jones AT&T Stadium in Looobock, Texas the Tortilla Throwing Red Raiders of Texas Tech host the Wildcats from Kansas State. The interest level is only due to bowl match-up projections. It can be viewed on Fox Sports Network.

On ESPN2 @ 2:30 we have # 1 and undefeated Clemson @ 9-0 visiting Otto the Orange and Syracuse in Syracuse, New York. The team wearing orange will win.

Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange

Opposite at 2:30 with the worthless, Chatty Cathy CBS announcers, rolling in at    #2, with a record of 8-1, The Crimson Tide of Alabama rolls into Starkville, Mississippi to meet Mississippi State. Remember, Tigers, it is the SEC and on any given day something unexpected can happen.

From “… where the winds come sweeping down the plains,” the # 8 Oklahoma State Cowboys at 9-0 travel to Ames Iowa to meet Iowa State with a record of 3-6 @ 2:30. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys are used to Cyclones. The game is on ESPN.

On the Notre Dame network, NBS, the Creepy Leperachauns of #4 Notre Dame with a record of 8 and 1 play the powerful Demons of Wake Forest with their  record of 3-6. Should we call this the Exorcist Bowl?

Cousin Darryl and the Demons of Northwestern will be at Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas meeting Sam Houston State. Yes, I have a degree from Sam Houston, but Me and Cuz Darryl are DNA related, so Go Demons.

And then night falls.

When night falls a most interesting contest between #24 Houston @ 9-0 and # 21 Memphis @ 8-1 @ 6 kicks off on ESPN2 from TDECU Stadium in Houston. Where did you two come from?

The Razorbacks from Arkansas and the #9 LSU meet on ESPN at 6:15 from Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge. I will have a cup of gumbo with a big side of bacon please.

And in the game with the most ramifications for the Big 12 Conference and the national rankings we find #6 Baylor versus #12 Oklahoma on ABC from the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco at 7:00. The Home Depot Game Day Show should be setting up for tomorrow’s Big 12 showdown about right now I hope Corsor looks good with a Bear on his head. Does anybody really look good with a Sooner Wagon on their head?

My main screen will be when West Carolina University comes to the magnificent Kyle Field to take on the Texas Aggies @ 6:00 on the SECN. Does that meet Bret Mushmouth and Jesse Palmer are the announcers? Get me to a radio. Bret – the term is AGGIES, not Eggies as you continually say. Put down your cocktail.

The Aggies who appear to be having a Ground Hog Day movie kind of season take on the West Carolina Catamounts form Cullowhee, North Carolina. OMG – I hear banjo music playing. Both teams are 6 and 3.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Run Rev Run

The mascot of West Carolina is a Catamount. Is this some kind of sailing vessel? Where is Cullowhee, North Carolina? A Catamount is a cat – really big one with teeth. I believe in Texas it is referred to a mountain lion or a cougar. Cullowhee, North Carolina sits among The Great Smokey Mountains and Blue Ridge Mountains. Sounds beautiful.

Nevertheless – BTHO West Carolina

My apologies for this being late. Blame KQ. It is hard to type with pencil between your teeth

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Friday, November 6, 2016 – Separation Weekend – These Are the Games Try Men’s Souls (paraphrase of Thomas Paine – Google him)

Don’t forget to vote for Gayla for Team Mom of the Year.

http://www2.usafootball.com/poll_management/userpoll/6

It is Separation Weekend in college football. This is when the Big Boy Pads are put on because one loss separates your team from the National Championship Bracket, the Conference championships and your team goes to the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

I am thinking Baylor probably wanted more separation in the score than shown last night against Kansas State. Thirty-one to 24 does not impress The Selection Committee. But the true freshman quarterback was most impressive for Baylor.

But what games will you watch tomorrow?

Texas Tech and West Virginia have the joy of the 11:00 AM game on FS1 in the meeting of mediocracy in Morgantown, West Virginia. Tech – those big mounds of dirt are called mountains.

Notre Dame and Pitt line up on ABC at 11:00. A loss could send ND spiraling downward into some depth of Dante’s Inferno or at least to a bowl game in a hot desert setting.

What will impress The Committee will be at 2:30 on Fox with a showdown in Boone Pickens Stadium in Stillwater Oklahoma when unbeaten TCU visits unbeaten Oklahoma State. GO COWBOYS!

OSU Download 178 (600x800)

Pistol Pete

Equally impressive to The Committee will be Florida State and Clemson at 2:30 on ABC from Clemson, South Carolina. I’ve never been one to pull for Florida State, but Go Noles!

The separations continue in the SEC at 2:30 on CBS. There is a big HOG calling from every team in the SEC as the Razorbacks travel to Oxford, Mississippi and The Grove to attempt the upset of Ole Miss. An upset by the Hogs could set up some very interesting scenarios.

In the evening, creeping up the College Football Polls are the Sooners of OU at 6:00 on ESPNU against Iowa State. A big score from the Fabulous Baker Boy’s team could attract the eyes of The Committee.

In the evening keep a watchful out on the States – as in Ohio State and Michigan State. The Committee will be watching.

The separation Saturday for last place in The Big 12 Conference is THE University of Texas and Kansas. Kansas can get out of last place and THE University can safely secure it’s place in the unfamiliar middle section of the Big 12 rankings.Longhorn Band (800x600)

The game will be broadcasts on the Longhorn Network at 7:00. Unless you are wearing a burnt oranges shirt, everyone else will be watching Texas A&M and Auburn and/or Alabama and LSU.

In another game for separation for last place in the SEC West we have Auburn and the ever-so-tactful, Will Muschamp, visiting the new Kyle Field at 6:30 on the SEC Network. A loss for Auburn pretty much seals them in last place SEC – West. A loss for the Aggies could mean the difference between the Aggies playing Notre Dame in some desert state or in the Toilet Bowl in Fargo, North Dakota.

Sully's Boots

BTHO Auburn

And now for the Big Separation. Even with 100% precipitation predicted in Tuscaloosa, the Tide will NOT Roll over the Tigers. Alabama will be soggy toast. And this weekend my Alabama friends, I cannot be your friend.

Sabin sign (600x800)

Here is why – I am going with The Tigers and the Family DNA. Come on, Bama, you know you can’t catch them Boys from The Bayou. They know how to run from them allimugatros in bayou. You thank they gonna be scared? Nah. They done gonna put dat voodoo on you! And I am making me some gumbo in anticipation of the celebration. Run Leonard Run!

GEAUX TIGERS!

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

Monday, November 2, 2015 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards.

What a wicked weekend of college football it was. There is so much ado, we must further it immediately. Our awards are brought to you today by The Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Helen Keller School for college football referees located on the campus of Miami.

The Halloween Costume Category

In the Halloween Costume Category the BEST Halloween Costume in college football goes to Texas A&M quarterback Kyler Murray who dressed as a smarter, quicker and faster Johnny Manziel.

The WORST Halloween Costume in college football goes to the Texas Aggie Defense who dressed as a Home School Coed Field Hockey Team. They obviously set their clocks back on the wrong day and showed up an hour late, but in time for the second half.

Now, let’s all take a deep breath and realize that the SCARIEST Halloween Costume was the Auburn Defense that dressed as pretty good football players. Mad Max Muschamp and the Ole Miss Pissed Us Off team is soon to arrive in College Station, Texas. Note: The Auburn team will be staying at the Motel 6 in South College Station. They’ll leave the light on for you.

Coach Muschamp – Due to the high demand for tickets to the Texas Aggie/Auburn football game and to give you a Hearty Welcome Back to College Station for Visit # 2, there were no more hotel rooms at the Motel 6. Therefore, you are staying at the Bates Motel, off of the Old Highway. That would be the old highway to Hearne. Ask for Mama. Your reservation is under the name: Asshole.

This weekend’s top winners and sharing The Zero Award as in Zero Losses are: Ohio State, Baylor, LSU and Clemson. I know only Clemson played and the rest had the weekend off. Who cares? The Selection Committee speaks tomorrow.

And now to the other awards.

I have no words. As if Austin and THE University needed more bad weather when the Cyclones hit. Perhaps you should have pretended you were playing USC from that National Championship year.

Ship wreck 2 (800x537)

In The Ethyl Merman There’s No Business Like Show Business as in There’s No Defense Like No Defense Like No Defense to Show Award,

Third Place goes to Oklahoma (OU) for scoring 62 points against Kansas with 7.

Second Place goes to Arkansas for scoring 63 points against Tennessee Martin with 21.

And First Place – scoring an NCAA college football record with an all-time high score in regulation – with a six-man football score – is shared by Oklahoma State University with 70 and Texas Tech with 53. Total all-purpose yardages for both teams was about a bazillion.

From the Files of the Fabulous Finishes:

The Award for The Blew It and Screwed It Award goes to The Refereeing Crew for the Duke and Miami Game. This is awarded for the 9 minute Official Review and “Upon further review” still got it wrong. The Miami player’s knee was down at the first lateral and the play and game was over.

The Peg Leg Award goes to the Washington State field goal kicker who, after making five field goals in the game, missed a sixth attempt of 43 yards and Stanford survives 30 to 28. Told you Mike Leach would be a pirate.

From the Mascot Files:

Notre Dame 24 Temple University 20.

Temple University has really cool live mascot named great-horned Owl named Stella. http://www.temple.edu/athletics/stella-owl

The Owl was chosen as the mascot because it is a nocturnal creature. Temple University was founded in 1884 by Russel Conwell, a Yale-educated Boston lawyer and ordained Baptist minister as a night school for young people of limited means.

Notre Dame on the other hand was founded by Reverend Edward Sorin, C.S.C. and whole bunch of other Catholics from the Congregation of Holy Cross. Notre Dame has a creepy leprechaun named Walter as a mascot.

But as always the best and most beautiful mascot is the First Lady of Aggieland taking it upon herself to parade through the spirit line. Next week, let’s wait for your handler, The Yell Leaders and the team before you leave the tunnel.

Running Reveille (800x533)

Photo by Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports