Tag Archives: Mississippi State

Friday, September 29, 2023 – Snarky Football Friday – Week Five

Posted on September 29, 2023 | 1 comment

Friday, September 29, 2023 – Snarky Football Friday – Week Five

Who knows what evil lurks on Saturday? The Shadow knows.

That is good, but I certainly do not know what is going to happen. This is “Anything can Happen” weekend.

It is already a terrible year for quarterbacks. Tortilla Tech, NY Jets, and Texas A&M have all lost their starting quarterback to leg injuries. I do wish speedy recoveries for all. But they did have more plays than Lincoln did.

Snarkin on…with the games I’ll be watching.

The morning glory games.

Bacon in the morning for 11:00 on SECN – Texas A&M and Arkansas from Jerry World in Dallas. The Aggies do have the Max Factor now. But the Hogs are always dangerous. Besides they wear red plastic pig hats on their heads and marry their cousins.

Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam; and the Heisman winner don’t play… USC at Colorado at 11:00 on Fox. HWIT. I think the honeymoon is over for the Prime. I don’t think it will matter how many rappers are in attendance.

The afternoon.

Baylor and UCF at 2:30 on FS1. I think the golden part will be the Golden Knights instead of the Green and Gold Bears. The Baylor Line ain’t so good this year. Note: Do not refer to UCF as Central Florida. They want to be called UCF. Probably something to do with the Florida education system. UCF has fewer letters to remember and makes for cheaper tattoos.

Houston at Texas Tech at 2:30 FS2 – Two of the three of my least favorite teams. But go Cougars! Watch out for flying frozen tortillas.

THE GAME at 2:30 is between Kansas at THE UNIVERSITY of Texas on ABC. What is going on in college football? Kansas comes to Austin undefeated to play the undefeated Longhorns. Rock Chalk, Jay Hawk. Let me say this again. No Arch! You T-Shirt wearers should know that Sark is saving him for the SEC! So let the women’s soccer team play before putting the Arch in the game.

Speaking of undefeated… Missouri and Vanderbilt at 3:00 SECN – Excuse me? Missouri? Mizzu can be undefeated at 5 and 0? Well, you are the Show Me State so show it to me.

Kicking off the evening is the Halloween game between LSU and Ole Miss at 5:00 on ESPN. Roll that Billy Cannon video. GEAUX TIGERS! Do it in memory of Billy and my cousin Donnie who threw the block that sprung Billy down the side line. This could be a nail biter.

8:00 Alabama and Mississippi State on ESPN – The Big Solid Interception Game!!! Roll that video. Go Dogs! Miss you, Mike. Alabama? Will you be bringing a quarterback?

Notre Dame (Other school in least favorite) is at Duke on ABC at 6:30. When did Duke start playing football? Let’s hope this Tobacco Road leads to a victory with No Bull in Durham. And the president of Duke is Vincent Price. Not the House of Wax VP, but still pretty cool. Game Day is in Durham and the guest picker is Leslie Chow from The Hangover movie. Ken Jeong graduated from Duke. For his entrance, I hope he reprises his role as Leslie Chow and jumps naked out of the trunk of a car. May the always creepy leprechaun be burned by the Blue Devil.

Get those Big Solid Swear Jars ready. Quarters will fly on Saturday.

Stay safe. Be kind to animals and people.

BTHO ARKANSAS

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, humor, Ken Jeong, LSU, Mississippi State, Notre Dame, Ole Miss, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Monday, September 25, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Four

Posted on September 26, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 25, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Four

My apologies for the delay in the game. I had several false starts today. Just like many of the teams. But here we go. Feel free to sing along…

Ugly in the morning; ugly in the evening; ugly at supper time.

The football games were ugly, Especially for Coach Prime.

It was indeed an ugly weekend of football. Even if your team won, it was an ugly win. And if your team lost, it was double butt ugly.

But time and bands march on and here are my awards for Week Four.

Ohio State 17 – Notre Dame 14. My first award today is the Michael Jackson Award and it goes to Ohio State for it was THRILLER! I only watched 1:35 of this game, but that was the entire game. It was wonderful not only to see ND lose, but on the final play of the game. Buckeyes Rule! Guess that “wearing of the green” and the Rudy Stuff was not the answer.

Alabama 24 – Ole Miss 10 – I am awarding the TIDE the Alarm Clock Award for waking up at half-time and realizing “OH! WE’RE ALABAMA! WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WINNING BIG!

Mississippi State 30 and South Carolina 37. I feel certain that Big Solid threw money in the jar every time that damn rooster crowed. The Bulldogs receive the Close, but No Cigar Award.

Texas A&M 27 and Auburn 10– Multiple Awards for the Aggies – Max Johnson gets the E. King Gill Award for the 12^th Man taking over from Connor Wiegman and the Taking It to the Max for coming in and winning the game. He also receives the Johnson and Johnson Award for connecting with his brother, Jake, for a touchdown. Note: There was $2.50 in my Big Solid Swear Jar and there was still 6 minutes left in the first quarter. Double note: Another $2.00 into the jar when Wiegman was injured.

I would like to award Auburn the Number 2. This is for the number of yards you had for the third quarter. Also your offense did not score a touchdown. Can we give the A&M Defense some love? Hearts and Hamburgers for the Big Men!

Jimbo? He gets the You are Not the 12^th Man Award for being on the field as the Auburn runner runs by him.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas 38 and Baylor 6 – Baylor receives the Calendar Award so it can find the start of basketball season. Texas is 4 and 0 for the first time since 2012. The Horns Receive the You Ain’t Seen Nothing, Yet Award! But again, it is the Big 12 – kind of like taking your cousin to the prom.

Kansas 38 BYU 27 – Rock Chalk Jayhawk. You are awarded The Big 12 Undefeated Award – just like Texas! And undefeated like Oklahoma! Last time the Jayhawks were 4 and 0, Woodrow Wilson was president.

Oregon 42 and Colorado 6 The dance has ended for Cinderella, but maybe not the season. Colorado receives the Prime Time Reality Check Award.

LSU 34 and Arkansas 31 – Both teams receive Poopy Underwear Awards. It was a really good game. To LSU, I award The Not There Yet Award. You still look average. The Hogs were a problematic the entire game. I award them the Root Root Root Sooey Pig Award. I wonder who Arkansas plays next week? Oh Crap!

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Colorado, humor, LSU, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 11, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

But first, let us remember where you were on this day in 2001! Long ago, yet yesterday and today. RIP those who sacrificed. You are not forgotten.

And now Week Two of my weekly awards …

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts; mutilated monkey feet, little dirty birdy feet…

And that is how it was, Sports fans! Here’s What I’m Thinking.

What a crappy college football weekend!. Everybody gets a Poopy Undies Award! Pick those up at Port-a-Potties zero through 10 on the west side of the building on your way out.

Nevertheless, will my award teams please come forward for your awards?

LSU? Step back, you are not getting an award for winning 72 to10. But I’m pretty sure you lost the half-time to the Grambling Band.

To THE UNIVERSITY of Texas, I award a Great Win, BUT Trophy. Yes, you beat a really crappy Alabama team 34 to 24 for two wins in a row. But do not rest on your laurels. You still have the Big 12 season but given the playing of the other teams from Texas this weekend, you could end up playing Kansas for the Championship. So I also award the Longhorns, the I’ll Check Back in October Award. To Alabama, I award The Elephant Never Forgets Trophy. It comes with a listing of available portal quarterbacks.

To Baylor, I award the God Heard What You Said in the Final Minutes. He also heard when we all screamed PASS INTERFERENCE on the so-called last play. Utah 20 Baylor 13

To the Rice University Owls who defeated their cross gang rivals the University of Houston 43 to 41 in double OT, I award The Hooters Award. What a difference a Daniels makes? With Covid, redshirts, medical redshirts, some of these players will be assistant professors before they finally use up their eligibility. Seriously, by the time I had 8 years of college I had half of a PhD.

To the Prime Time Wonder Boys of Colorado, I award the I’m Still Not Convinced Award. Colorado 36 Nebraska 14

To Mississippi State, I award not one, but two Big Solid Silver Awards to the team and to the young man who intercepted two passes. Sidebar: A few have asked about Big Solid. Big Solid (Larry) played linebacker for Mississippi State. His claim to fame (among many) was intercepting a pass from Joe Namath and running it back for a touchdown. Big Solid and his lovely Sweet Potato Queen wife, Janne, always read HWIT football and he always loved when he was mentioned. Big Solid passed away this spring so I decided to honor him with as many mentions as I can. A Big Solid Award goes to a linebacker who intercepts and scores. A Big Solid Silver goes to an interception by a linebacker from Mississippi State. And a Big Solid Gold will go to a Mississippi State linebacker who intercepts and scores a touchdown. I hope I got that right, Janne. Oh yes, Mississippi State 31 Arizona 24 in OT.

Even though I never met Big Solid I believe we shared common adjectives for describing plays, teams, tackles, passes, coaches, announcers, commercials for our respective teams and others. Therefore this year I have instituted The Big Solid Swear Jar. I thought about making various coins for various words, but just said, “F-that”, everything gets a quarter. Last week, the BSSJ had $1.00. This week I just threw in two roll of quarters at the end of the TU/Tide game. That is $20 or 80 quarters.

However, most of those coins were put (thrown) in the jar during the Texas A&M/Miami game. Miami 48 Texas A&M 33. The Aggies get the Moon over Miami Award for getting their asses whipped. To Jimbo and Bobby I award The Climate Change Award because your seats are getting warmer! To the Fighting Aggie Team, READY! AIM! FIRE! RELOAD! WHOOP! Stay Calm and Gig ‘Em!

Pray for rain. Pray for peace.

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Tagged Alabama, Alabama football, Baylor, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, humor, LSU, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas, UT football

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 20, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Our first award this week is the Welcome to Aggieland Award. It goes to the numerous newcomers of the Brazos Valley who posted their fears on the Neighborhood Watch app when “Four 4 F 15 fighter jets, armed with missiles, just flew over. What is happening?” And a special award to those who replied, “You must be new. It is the Aggie flyover. It’s Aggie football weekend.” And especially to the Air Force brat who posted, “the jets are not armed with missiles. The bay doors are open.”

Note to the newcomers. That was the flyover for the New Mexico game. On October 9, the entire Texas Air National Guard is flying over Kyle Field, along with a blimp, three helicopters and a flying saucer when the Tide rolls in.

Speaking of The Tide, you need some Tide because you win Poopy Undies. You did avoid Swamp Fever, but it was too close for comfort. Florida Gators receive the Worst Execution of a Two Point Conversion Award. Alabama 31 and Florida 29.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Sooners of Oklahoma. Obviously, Nebraska took the celebration of the 50 Year anniversary of the “Game of the Century” from 1971 a bit more seriously that the Sooners. Close, but no Cornhusker Cigar. Bama 26 and Nebraska 16. Note to OU: Your debut games for the SEC are not looking too good.

There were many blowouts. Here are a few.

TAMU 34 and New Mexico 0. Plus scared newcomers 5 and F 15 Fighter Jets 4. Jimbo said, “We are very average.” Yes, we are.

Baylor 47 Kansas 7

Rice 0 Texas 58

Missouri 59 SE Missouri St 28

LSU 49 Central Michigan 21

I listed the above teams’ blowouts because none of them will have a blowout again. So you all receive both Cupcake Awards and Hair Dryer Awards. THE University of Texas receives a Rice bowl. Remember this game TU when you play Vanderbilt in the future.

The biggest trophies this week are brought to you by the Optician Magicians and goes to the Officials. Specifically the officials who called the Mississippi State and Memphis game and the Penn State and Auburn Game. First award is the Three Blind Mice Award and goes to the refs for Memphis and Mississippi State. I am 72 years old and have had cataract surgery on both eyes and have never even called a Pee Wee football game, but I know that you cannot have two players with the same number on the field at the same time. FOUR! Granted, your educational systems suck, but one would think you can recognize two players wearing the same number Four!

But the worst was the obvious downing of the football by State but was picked up and run for a touchdown by Memphis. For Bulldog fans I award the Near Cardiac Arrest Award and a New Cussing Jar.

The officials in Happy Pennsylvania were not making the crowds happy either. From Referee School 101 – KNOW WHAT DOWN IT IS! .

Auburn 20 Penn State 28. Also, a Stadium Fashion Award goes to Penn State. The White Out looked great.

In conclusion I now introduce a new award called The Most Cobs Shoved Up’ Award for Incredible Skill at Ineptitude. Our first recipients of the award are the crew who called the Memphis and Mississippi State game. Cob Him!

Have a great week.

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, humor, LSU, Mississippi State, SEC, Texas A&M

September 28, 2020 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 28, 2020 | Leave a comment

September 28, 2020 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Just like the year 2020 has been, it was a wild, crazy and unpredictable weekend in college football. Everybody receives a Poopy Undies award. Every team receives a It Shows There Was No Spring Training Certificate.

I must first check on the health and well being of Elf and Big Solid. I am certain they fainted at the end of the Mississippi State and LSU game. Evidently, there are pirates on the bayous.

Assisting me today with trophy/award handouts is Miss Queue. She, along with her pets, Fumbles, Interceptions and Sacks were present in every game played.

The Pepto-Bismal Dismal Performance Award goes to Oklahoma. You were upset in Norman by Kansas State! Here, take the Embarrassment Award too.

The MOO Award goes to Kansas State for milking the clock to beat OU 38-35. Maybe THE University of Texas will beat Oklahoma this year.

Speaking of the Horns. When it almost looked as though it would be a weekend when both OU and TU lost, Banjo Boy and Horns were able to pull it out in OT against Texas Tech 63-56. I am awarding myself The Frog Award because I TOAD you Tech would be up for TU. They were just not up quite enough.

Speaking of orange – Ok, it is a stretch. Oklahoma State? What was with those uniforms? They looked like those tacky uniforms TU and Tennessee wear when they do all white with a few orange stripes. You receive this week’s Bad Uniforms Award. But you did score a win against West Virginia.

The Good Uniforms Award and the win goes to Baylor. The bright green and gold combo looked good. Perhaps that is why the Mad Hatter Kansas Coach was still wearing shades at 9:30 at night. We know it is not because Kansas’ football future is so bright, he has to wear shades.

To the LSU Tigers, you receive The Flat Certificate because you looked flat on the field. And you receive the Linda Rondast Award because Mississippi State Blew By You!

The largest group of awards goes to the Mississippi State University Bulldogs – The Welcome Wagon Award goes to Mike Leach. You might just find a home in the SEC. Wait until you play Florida. There might even been pirate ships.

State receives the Best Victory of the Day! Best Upset of the Day! Best Quarterback Performance of the Day! And last, Nobody Saw That Coming Award! Great victory to start the season!

Alabama rolled over Missouri 38-19. It was 28 to 3 at half time. Let’s give Bama the Looking Good Again Award. I know it is a small award, but I am sure there will be others and more meaningful ones as the season goes on.

Meanwhile at the same time and almost the same half-time on a different channel it was 7 to 5 going into the top of the 3^rd between Texas A&M and Vanderbilt. VANDERBILT! The Rice and Stanford of the SEC! The Aggies get the Back to Practice Award and Lackluster Performance Award!

If I were to give a Head Coaches’ Exploding Head Award, I would have given it to Jimbo Fisher of Texas A&M. But since I did not actually view his head exploding, I am unable to do so.

Instead I will give him the Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women Award. This is because I imagine the half-time locker room opening comments to the two freshmen players went something like this:

“Listen, honey chile! Now what exactly were you thinking? This here is the SEC. And we don’t run the opening kick off out of the end zone. Ya hear me? In fact, no college football team runs the opening kickoff out of the end zone especially when you are ten yards deep INTO the endzone. OK Now? Are you listening?

Also, if your feet are on the 10-yard line when the other team is punting, we do not field it in the endzone giving the other team a safety!

And, if you EVER do it again, I will bench your sweet asses until there are splinters all the way up to your nasal passages.

Are we clear?”

Jimbo’s speech may have been shorter and louder and may have had some adjectives and maybe an expletive or two. So Jimbo gets the I Bet the Paint Peeled off the Locker Room Walls Half-time Speech Certificate.

But Aggies did limp to a victory 17 – 12. I wonder who they play next Saturday. Oh crap!

BTHO ALABAMA!

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Tagged Alabama football, College Football; Texas Aggies, LSU football, Mississippi State, Oklahoma State University, Oklahoma University, SEC, The University of Texas

Monday, June 17, – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Posted on June 17, 2019 | 1 comment

Monday, June 17, 2019 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Recently I have acquired several new followers on Facebook. My blog, Here’s What I’m Thinking is linked to FB and other social media. But you can also access at DrDrD85.me

Therefore, it is time as Saint Madelyn Hunter, Patron Saint of Education, says “it is time to review.”

It is called HWIT because in long, boring and often unproductive meetings I would sit in silence until asked my thoughts. I always began with “here’s what I’m thinking.”

The purpose is made make at least one person smile or laugh. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point. Therefore, it is imperative that you follow and read in the event it is YOU I am writing about. And you better hope I like you or else the results might not favor you.

During the fall I write about college football. I write about the Texas Aggies and all of the other teams of the SEC. It just means more! On Friday’s there is Snarky Friday where the Football Snark reveals her comments on upcoming teams and their games.

Snarky Friday is followed by My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Categories include, but are limited to:

Poopy Undies for the teams that scare their fans with close games, (Most of us are still recovering from Texas A&M and LSU from last year.)
Worse Uniforms as we often see what, hideous shades of yellow and green Nike premiers in Oregon,
Helmets receive their own category which includes subcategories of “best shine, “best possible glow in the dark” and “what is that crappy design on the side?”
The Brent Mushmouth Award is given to the Booth Mouths who talk during the game, over the calls, tell what they did in college, second guess the coach, the referees and the fans, seldom actually call what is happening on the field and other mindless mouth dribble,
The Zebra Awards, sponsored by the Helen Keller School for Referees, are given to the officials for just about anything,
The Big 12 Conference is really only ten schools but only a few count anyway. This is includes THE University of Texas, Baylor, Oklahoma State and Tortilla Tech. I seldom write about the other Big 12 schools until basketball season,
And last and never least, The Exploding Head Coach Award is awarded to the head coach who loses it, run on to the field, turns red in the face, and throws down and breaks his head phones. It is always a close race between Uncle Will Muschamp and Nick Saban.

So whether your favorite school Gigs Em, Sics Em, Hooks Em, Rolls the Tide, Geauxs Tigers, Goes Cowboys, Boomers Sooners them, Goes State, or even Tortilla Flings, I got your school. Sometimes I even throw in an Ohio State and Penn State for those friends not fortunate to be from Texas.

While, I, like many others, anxiously wait until kickoff, we do have the College World Series – aka The Post Season SEC Baseball Tournament. Therefore, I proudly award the Poopy Undies to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State for their comeback to win rally over Auburn in the ninth inning. Who names a school after a hair color? Go State! and Roll Tide!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Baylor, Mississippi State, OU

Friday, October 26, 2018 – Week Nine Snarks on College Football

Posted on October 26, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, October 26, 2018 – Week Nine Snarks on College Football

Grab the remote; order the pizza and pop the popcorn. It is going to be a Dilly Dilly of a weekend in college football. The Snark is calling this weekend The Douglas MacArthur weekend because some teams will never die; they will just fade away after this weekend.

My watches for the weekend.

Clemson at Florida State – 11:00 on ABC – Should be no problem for the Tigers.

Vanderbilt and Arkansas – 11:00 on SECN – The Battle of the Really Bad Football Teams in the SEC.

Florida and Georgia – 2:30 on CBS – In the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, somebody fades away after this one. The lead in the SEC West is at stake.

Iowa and Penn State – 2:30 on ESPN – Penn State QB, Trace McSorley is so cute. This should not result in a Poopy Undies Award for PSU, but we shall see.

Kentucky and Missouri – 3:00 on SECN – Just a reminder, Texas A&M beat Kentucky. So why are the Wildcats still in the picture? Please, Missouri, do not wear those ugly, yellow, banana looking uniforms.

Texas and Oklahoma State – 7:00 ABC – T. Boone Pickens could be very interesting come 7:00. Pistol Pete is waiting for you Bevo. The slamming paddles are going to be like mayonnaise on a hot day and spoil it for you, Horns. Go Pokes!

Navy at Notre Dame – 7:00 on CBS – Anchors Away with hope. If ND sinks, then so do their chances.

My watch will be the Battle of the Maroons and Whites in Starkville. Texas A&M versus Mississippi State at 6:00 on ESPN. Trash talk to the Bulldogs– Reveille is both prettier and smarter than Bully. The Aggies have more than one offensive play. Our quarterback can run better than yours. These are not last season’s Aggies. My boyfriend, Traveon, will rush for 100 plus yards. The cowbells will not ring!

BTHO Mississippi State! WHOOP!

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Posted in College Football, college football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Mississippi State, Oklahoma State University, Pistol Pete, SEC, The University of Texas

Saturday, September 22, 2018 – Mea Culpa; Mea Culpa Mea Maxi Mea Culpa

Posted on September 22, 2018 | Leave a comment

Saturday, September 22, 2018 – Mea Culpa; Mea Culpa; Mea Maxi Me Culpa

I apologize for not mentioning two of my favorite teams yesterday. I am going to blame it on my two and half hour wait with the unwashed masses at the DMV waiting to get my drivers’ license replaced.

Here’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I wanted to look natural for my photo so I went directly from the gym wearing my gym clothes and the gray T-shirt I slept in the night before. Thank you, BA, for a hard workout to make me hot and sweaty when I arrived at the building. Even though I cooled off waiting for two hours, sweaty hat head provided a great hair do for the pic. I can’t wait to see it.

Upon arrival, I pulled my number from the kiosk. It was S3070. I looked at the board where the numbers to be called are displayed. They were on S3025.

Alas, it was my turn. I truly empathize with the people who do this.

Underpaid state employee: Do you have something with your photo on it?

Me: No. That is my TDL and that is why I am here. To get it replaced.

Underpaid: Your passport?

Me: No. In the box at the bank.

So I just gave her my wallet and said “What’s in my wallet?”

Underpaid: Here is your Medicare card. That will work.

Me: Big Sigh. So I gave my thumbprints, signed my name on an electronic box and had my photo made. Did I mention I have sty on my right eye? I cannot wait to see the photo.

My apologies to my fans in Louisiana and Mississippi for leaving you out on Snarky Friday. Here you go!

At 6:00 PM today on ESPNU the Tigers of LSU cupcake against the Bulldogs of LaTech. Tech XXII will be eaten by Mike VII as dessert. GEAUX Tigers!

ON ESPN2 Billy Bulldog

and the other Bulldogs of Mississippi State go up against the Wildcats of Kentucky. Bulldogs abound in the SEC, but the prettiest lady in football is Reveille.

LSU Tigers and State Bulldogs both know that LaTech and Kentucky are basketball schools so let’s hope you make them long for tip-offs with big wins.

I am going to watch Mississippi State in hopes for a linebacker interception for a TD so I can give a Big Solid Award on Monday.

BTHO ALABAMA and Kentucky and LaTech!

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Posted in College Football, humor

Tagged Bully Bulldog, LSU, Mississippi State

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Posted on September 1, 2018 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 31, 2018 – Snarky Friday

Happy Snarky Football Friday. Last night we had the opportunity to see two schools’ fund raisers to fund their entire athletic department. Pistol Pete and the Cowboys of Oklahoma State beat Missouri State 58-17. That Mullet is looking good, Mike.

Kyle Field 8.30.18 Photo by KB

Of course my eyes were glued to the Texas Aggies versus Northwestern State. I told you, Demons, that Kyle Field was loud. Three false starts in a row on the first series. Twelfth Man.

Of course we all held our breath when Northwestern scored in the Fourth Quarter. So what if the Aggies were ahead 50+ to zero. Final score Aggies 59 and Northwestern 7 plus a large percentage the gate receipts like Missouri State gets.

In the horrible 11:00 AM spot on Saturday we have following games with teams who must have done something back to get stuck here.

In the O-State battle we find Ohio State and Oregon State on ABC. The Beavers and Suspension.

Also at the non-football game time of 11 am we find THE University of Texas and Maryland on FS 1. Was it really necessary to throw Texas coach, Tom Herman, under that bus because he went to a strip club with the domestic abuser? What are you trying to do? Go dot your “I” with a tuba, Ohio State.

Hotty Totty, God Almighty! On ESPN we have the Rebels of Old Miss and the Raiders of Texas Tech. I do not think you are allowed to throw tortillas at NRG Stadium in Houston or write graffiti on the buses, Tech.

The Sooners of Oklahoma and QB Kyler Murray take on FAU (whoever that is and I’m too lazy to look it up) on FOX. I hope Murray has gained some weight. When he played for Texas A&M, he looked like he was one tackle away from a body cast.

Clemson and Furman kickoff at 11:20 on ACC Network. Come on Furman Paladins. Hope Clemson is looking ahead to next week.

The dogs are let out at 2:30 when the Washington Huskies meet the Auburn Tigers. This could be big for both the PAC 12 and the SEC conferences. It’s on ABC.

Opposite on CBS we find the Georgia Bulldogs playing the Austin Peay Governors. UGA going to peay all over the Governors.

Speaking of bulldogs. At 6:30 on ESPNU it’s the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin and the Mississippi State Bulldogs. I must root for SFA since I have papers from there. However, I fear that Bullie will pee on the pines before the Jacks can give them the Ax.

In the big game, the Tide comes rolling in as Alabama and Louisville kickoff at 7:00 on ABC. In a Snark closing, I would like to say the following to all of the sports mouths. Nick Saban will decide who starts at quarterback for Alabama. All of you mouths are just speculating. I’m sure if Coach Saban needs your input he will call you. Roll Tide.