Category Archives: Texas Aggies

Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

Monday, October 31, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Trick or Treat!

College football on Saturday was indeed trick or treat. Some teams got the treat while others got the trick. The college football playoffs begins to heat up. Let’s begin.

With all due respect to Jimmy Fallon and his Friday night Thank You Notes –

The Thank You Note Awards go to:

  • Thank you, Texas, for beating Baylor 34 to 35 to knock the Bears out of The AP Top Ten, the possibility of a Baylor/Texas A&M Bowl game, and playoff possibilities. Hook ‘Em Hippies! To you Baylor, Aggies truly understand your feelings watching the Horn-kicked football split the uprights during the last seconds.
  • Thank you, Auburn, for beating the stuffing out of Ole Miss and giving the Rebels a second SEC West loss and making the Texas A&M/Ole Miss game exciting.
  • Thank you Wyoming, for beating Boise State 30 to 28 ensuring we will not have to look at the seizure blue field of Boise State on TV.
  • Thank you Tortilla Tech for beating TCU 27 to 24 in double OT. Because it is Halloween, Tortilla Tech is awarded The One-Eyed; one-horned flying purple people eater award for sending the Frogs out of contention.Tech (800x600)
  • Thank you Oklahoma State for beating West Virginia 37 to 20 and keeping a shred of dignity and possibility of winning the Small 12 Conference.IMG_2135 (800x600)

Next we have the Slip and Slide Away Awards. This award is presented to teams who had victory escape from them in the closing moments of the game. In addition all of these teams receive a Poopy Undies Award. Moving down field the Slip and Slide Away and Poopy Undies Awards are presented to:

  • Michigan 32 Michigan State 23
  • Louisville 32 Virginia 25
  • Ohio State 24 Northwestern 20
  • Washington 34 Utah 24
  • Wisconsin 23 Nebraska 17
  • Clemson 37 Florida State 34

In the SEC Alabama beat Bye Week University and LSU was victorious over Bye University @ Baton Rouge. Wonder what will happen this Saturday.

The final award today goes to The Best Football Team in the state of Texas – The Fighting Texas Aggies! The Aggies of Texas A&M beat the Aggies of New Mexico State 52 to 10 causing national sports announcers to say things like:

“Texas A&M is a bona fide National Playoff Contender.”

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It is Halloween and statements like that scare me to pieces. Happy Halloween.

Gig ‘Em Aggies and BTHO Mississippi State.

Monday, October 24, 2016 – Two Months Until Christmas Eve, but First – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 24, 2016 – Two Months Until Christmas Eve, but First – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

The first awards today are The Buzzard Awards. buzzard-rp-800x450  The first Buzzard Award goes to the officiating crew who called the Alabama/ Texas A&M game on both sides of the ball. Let’s review – when a player’s mouth piece is knocked from his mouth and flies over the shoulder of the hitting player him and the hittee’s helmet’s visor cracks, it is called TARGETING!

The second Buzzard Award goes to CBS and Vern Lunquist and Gary Whatever Your Name is for spewing forth words during about the Aggie/Bama game that was supposed to be your game commentary. Gary, no one cares what play you would have called. This is why you are not coaching. This award comes with free engraving SHUT UP!

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The Third Buzzard Award goes to the only announcers who were worse than Vern and Gary (and this includes Mack Brown and Brent Mushburger) were the announcers for THE University of Texas and Kansas State game. Which one of you called a player a “specimen?” SPECIMEN? SEDAGIVE? I needed one listening to you two. I am throwing in a Free Mute Button Award for this pair. At least twice guy announcer referred to Texas’ players’ off side penalties as “you must be able to hold your water.” WTH does that mean? Are you a urologist? I will not even go into your diagnosis of LSU’s Leonard Fournette’s ankle injury comparing it yours. (I.e. Sample size of one.)

Moving downfield in the Small 12 Conference – Baylor wins over Bye University again. Don’t you get to play them one more time?

The Hands to my Face Award and the award for Little Shop of Horrors goes to THE University of Texas. Enough torture for the Horns so I am not even going into any details.

The Air Show over Lubbock Award is shared by Oklahoma who scored 66 points to Tortilla Tech’s 59. Why do they even offer scholarships to players to play defense? Why not get an intermural team?

My First Favorite Game of the Week Award goes to the Mustangs of SMU for the crushing victory over the University of Houston 38 to 16. I wonder about the lavender colored ponies on the helmets, but whatever works.

My second Favorite Game of the Week Award goes to Penn State for defeating #2 Ohio State University by a score of 24 to 21. I guess Nittany Lions like nuts.

The We Always Win Half Time Award goes the Fighting Texas Aggie Band.

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Photo by Mickey

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Photo by Mickey

If these crooked lines are the Alabama Million Dollar Band, they are not getting their money’s worth.

Alabama 33 Texas A&M 14. The Time Ran Out as The Tide Rolled In Award goes to Texas A&M. Great game to both teams. A nine and one schedule with the one loss being the #1 will still look good.

Besides who is left on schedule for the Aggies? Oh crap. Ole Miss and LSU. Way to GEAUX Tigers. See you at Thanksgiving.

October 22, 2016 – BTHO Alabama – Little Aggie Alter

October 22, 2016 – BTHO Alabama – My Little Aggie Alter

To the Saints of College Football – Saint Touchdown and any other saints that can help beat Alabama.

The battery life of my flameless candle is four hours non stop. Please let the Texas Aggies play non stop flawless football for four hours.

Don’t you just love my crafty candle?  I know you all thought it was professionally made, but I did make it myself. You all know how crafty I am.

WHOOP!

Gig ‘Em Aggies!

BTHO Alabama!

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Friday, October 21, 2016 – The Snark of Friday and the Battle for the SEC

Friday, October 21, 2016 – The Snark of Friday and the Battle for the SEC

Before the Snark arrives, please join me in noting the passing of Houston sports announcer, Bob Allen. I do not know how many of my sorority sisters at Stephen F. Austin had secret crushes on him, but I did. Bob was an outstanding individual who made the lives of others better. My thoughts and prayers go to his family.

And now – Here come the snark! Here come the snark!

You know HWIT is only about teams I like and teams that play teams that I like. Having said that, there are only TWO games to note this Saturday. The rest of the games are just filling and killing time.

At 8:00 PM on ESPN we find # 23 Ole Miss Rebels and # 25 LSU Tigers. Check out one of my most prized possessions. That’s right Louisiana Cousins – signed by Heisman Winner Billy Cannon and my dear cousin Donnie Daye. I especially like the “to my favorite Aggie cuz.”

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Anyone who cheers for the Tigers knows the story of the Halloween Game. GEAUX TIGERS! Pretend it is Halloween and take down the Rebels.

But before that game at 2:30 on CBS we have the game of the SEC, year, decade and perhaps the century. The undefeated at six and zero and ranked at number six (WHOOP!) we have the Fighting Texas Aggies in Tuscaloosa. The Ags visit Big Al and the #1 and undefeated at seven and zero Crimson Tide of Alabama. The last time the Aggies visited Bryant-Denny stadium this Heisman Winner was the quarterback. Shaking Hands with Johnny Manziel - Copy (800x600)Helmet without certificate (800x600) This is one not of my most prized possessions – yet. I am still hopeful. However, the victory by Johnny Manziel and the Texas Aggies over Alabama is one of my most prized memories.The quarterback for the Texas Aggies this year is Trevor Knight. His team beat Alabama too. Just saying.

But continuing to note outstanding football players, I do not want to slight Alabama and one of their most outstanding players – Forrest Gump. In fact to paraphrase Mr. Gump one team is going to be wounded “in the butt tocks!”

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Gig ‘Em Aggies! BTHO Alabama

Monday, October 17, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 17, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

We now head into the last half of the regular college football season. The games become unpredictable and everything is on the table and at stake. The Playoff Selection Committee, created, invented and founded by Larry Culpepper, is watching every play. If your game goes into overtime, it should mean an automatic drop by at least one rank in the overall rankings.

Please step forward as I call your team’s name.

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Bryan Eagle – 10.16.2016

The first award for Bye Week goes to the Texas the A&M quidditch team. I am not certain of the rules but it appears two spherical objects (deflated volleyballs – see Tom Brady) are used while on a broom handle. Players are called beaters and chasers. Am I still talking about the game from The Harry Potter series or the presidential debate?

On to football. From the Conference formerly known as The Big 12, currently known as the Should I Stay or Should I Go Conference:

The awards for A Big Win Even Though You Did Not Play A Team Worth Mentioning goes to the following:

Baylor wins 49 Kansas 7. Kansas? Really? Please book your school’s homecoming game with Kansas for next year.

THE University of Texas wins! Granted it was a victory over Iowa State and their traditional ugly uniforms and weather pattern mascot, but a win is a win.

Oklahoma wins 38 over Kansas State 17. Yes, Miss Navasota, Bill Snyder seems to still be alive, but K-State has called him back so many times, I think they plan on life size card board cut outs of him when the day comes.

West Virginia 48 Texas Tech 17 – I think Kliff Kingsbury had on my Ray Ban Travelers that I lost a couple of weeks ago. He might need them as he might be travelling away from Lubbock.

Heartbreak Hotel and Poopy Undies Awards go to: 

Lamar 32 Northwestern State 31 – with 6 seconds left Lamar scores. Sorry, Cousin Darryl – the Demons almost won.

Arkansas 34 wins Ole Miss 23 – What Hotty Toddy goes well with bacon?

To North Carolina State and the place kicker I award The Almost and Still Proud of You Award. To the individual(s) who sent disgusting and threating tweets to the NCS kicker upon missing the game winning field goal: You T-shirt Wearing only A-Hole: Someday I hope you have a football rectally inserted into your anatomy.

The Award for “The Committee is Watching” goes Ohio State for the OT victory over Wisconsin 30-24. Nuts!

And a second award for The Committee is Watching goes to Clemson for their overtime victory over North Carolina State. 24 North Carolina State 17 OT.

Houston 38 Tulsa 31 – The Award for “The Committee is NOT Watching” goes to The University of Houston and Herman’s Hermits for holding on at the goal line against Tulsa.

And now from the Conference of Champions – The Southeastern Conference.

The Participation Award in the SEC goes to the Commodores of Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt 17 Georgia 16 – The excitement in the SEC East!

The Blow Out Award goes to Alabama. Alabama 49 Tennessee 10 – Lost that one in a big time blowout too, didn’t you, Mr. Crockett?

The Award for Perfection goes to the Alabama Crimson Tide. This refers to the record of 6-0 headed into Saturday’s game against the also undefeated Texas Aggies. Sidebar to the Tide Rollers: The Aggies BTHO Tennessee the week before. You are welcome.

The Award for Somebody is Not Going to be Perfect Next Saturday goes to …ag-shirt

Checklist for Saturday

 

Alcohol Supply – Beer, vodka and tequila – check

Additional bloody Mary mix – check

Scotch, if necessary, for fourth quarter – check

Two bags Doritos – check

Hot Dogs and Buns – check

Nacho fixings – check

Chili or gumbo – Decide on Thursday

BTHO Alabama T-shirt – pick up @ Aggieland Outfitters

Maroon shoes – check

Aggie socks – clean. Check.

Aggie cap – check

Shorts or jeans – check weather on Friday

Small Aggie football that plays War Hymn when slammed against table – check

Damn It Doll – check. Does not play anything. Reminder to self: Do not throw damn it doll at TV.

Ensure windows are closed in the event it is necessary to scream words that can burn the ears of a sailor.

See if Catholic store has Beat Alabama candles. If not, find some saint candles at grocery store. Pick up several.

Create alter for candles for Friday night vespers and vigil.

Double check alcohol supply. Pick up another six pack.

Check supply of chill pills – Call Walgreens. Don’t forget blood pressure meds!

To be continued.

Sully's Boots

Friday, October 14, 2016 – Snarky Friday. Remember the Alamo!

Friday, October 14, 2016 – Snarky Friday. Remember the Alamo!

Lawdy Mercy, Honey Chile, I am a fretting like Aunt Pity Pat when the Yankees were coming. Alabama or Tennessee? There would not have been a Texas if there had not been a Tennessee. True and to the misinformed person holding a Game Day sign last weekend – The Vols did NOT cost Texas the Alamo. They were not even Volunteers until the Civil War. Learn your history. But one never hears “There would not have been a Texas if there had not been an Alabama.” There were many more defenders of The Alamo from Tennessee than Alabama. There were way more Mexicans too, but I digress.

If Tennessee upsets the #1 Crimson Tide, it means the #6 Texas Aggies travel to Tuscaloosa the following weekend to meet a really pissed off Alabama. If the Tide rolls over the Volunteers, it means the Texas Aggies travel to Tuscaloosa for a meeting of undefeated teams which could decide the SEC West and even the National Championship. Where are my salts? AKA – Tito’s.

Alabama and Tennessee at 2:30 on CBS – YUK – That probably means V. Lunquist and Gary Johnson will call the game. Mr. Johnson, I am confident that no one cares what plays you would have called. You are in the broadcast booth and not on the field.

That evening on ABC at 6:00 PM CT in a Showdown of the Big Ten we find #8 Wisconsin badgering to stop #2 The Ohio State University Buckeyes.

In between these two deciding games, we have Baylor hosting Kansas on FS1 at 2:30 and OU hosting Kansas State on ESPN at 11:00 AM. On The Longhorn Network, we have THE University of Texas hosting the ever popular Iowa State Cyclones at 6:00 PM. Remember when the Big 12 Teams used to be exciting?

Alabama or Tennessee? I am going with…

Born on a mountain top in Tennessee… I think that mountain top is called Rocky Top.

“The rest of you may go to Hell. I’m going to Texas!” Davy! Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier!

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Tide, You better hope you can rise and Roll over Rocky Top because The Fighting Texas Aggies and The Twelfth Man are waiting on the other side.

So as Davy Crockett said to William B. Travis at The Alamo – “You gonna need a lot more men.”

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Where is my coon skin cap? Oh yes, I loaned it to Lee Curses for Game Day. I hope he returns it next week in Tuscaloosa.

BTHO Alabama!

Friday, October 7, 2016 – Snarky Friday Before Saturday College Football

Friday, October 7, 2016 – Snarky Friday Before Saturday College Football

Before the Snark appears, sincerely let us send our thoughts and prayers to those in the path of Hurricane Matthew.

Also, let us send our love and good byes to LSU’s Mike VI as his cancer has spread. LSU is allowing fans to come say their final good byes to one of the most beautiful mascots in college football. A search begins soon for Mike VII. Mike VII will come from a tiger rescue reserve facility.

Paraphrase from Macbeth – “Enter the Snark with a taper.”

Baylor – A three-week BYE! Not playing for three weeks does not help your championship hopes. Of course, neither does playing schools like Kansas.

Florida and LSU – Hurricane Matthew wins!

Georgia and South Carolina – Hurricane Matthew wins again.

Coming to you live from state fairgrounds of Texas we have The Red River Shootout on FS1 @ 11:00 AM. This was once the game from which national championships came – THE University of Texas Longhorns and The Sooners of Oklahoma University. Now it is the game that sends rumors throughout the various cyberspheres. With all due respect to Willie N. …

“It’s a bloody Mary morning,

Someone’s leaving without warning

Sometime in the night.

And they’re flying down to Houston with forgetting him the nature of their flight.”

Speaking of Houston, as in The University of, we have the #5 untested Cougars playing the Midshipman from Navy on ESPN @ 2:00. Anchors Away, my boys, Anchors Away!

Before we get to Texas A&M and the Faded tu Volunteers of Tennessee, let us discuss # 1 Alabama and # 16 Arkansas that is on ESPN at 6:00. I feel the need to express this in language understandable for those rooting for Arkansas.

“Bubba, get me another beer while I talk. Just yesterday I was saying to my cousin and wife, Thelma Sue, that them folks from Bama better be careful. These ain’t no ordinary hogs. These here are Razorbacks. Just the other day one got up under the trailer and started rooting around. I run out with my AK 47 and started shooting in the air to scare it. He run under the car and damn near knocked it off its cement blocks fore he run off into the woods. Just saying Bama better be bringing it. Me and Bubba are fixing to rewire the trailers to borrow the neighbors cable to watch the game. Come on, Bubba. Race you in the four wheeler.”

Coming to your CBS station at 2:30 live from Kyle Field in College Station, Texas we have the # 8 The Fighting Aggies of Texas A&M and the Luckiest Dang Team in football – the # 9 Volunteers of Tennessee. Tailgating 9.3.16 UCLA 2016-09-03 007 - Copy (800x579)

Since I am not going to campus at 5:30 AM in the morning to have my sign approved for ESPN Game Day I will just list a few ideas I had:

Reveille is prettier than Smokey.

What color orange is that? Bleach Faded?

Good ole, Rocky Flop: Rocky Flop Tennessee

Please Lee Curses, put the coon skin cap on to pick Tennessee so TAMU will win. (Also, make fun of Reveille again and you will not get out of town in one piece.)

Kirk Herbstreit – can I get my picture made with you? selphie-with-barn-689x800

Once, twice, three times a Hail Mary – not in the Aggie’s house.

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Twelfth Man Statue – north end of Kyle Field. Photo by me.

BTHO Tennessee!

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Monday, October 3, 2016 – Monday After College Football Saturday Awards

Tequila shots and Poo Poo Undies Awards for Every college team except Alabama! What the hell – give the Tide a Poo Poo Undies Award for use later.

I will also award Alabama and LSU The Manicure Award for being the only games that were not nail biters or heart attack givers.

With Monday after comments, let’s begin.

THE University of Texas is awarded:

The Shoot Out at the OK (State) Corral.

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wheres-waldo-800x564 The Where’s Waldo – aka Rudolph? Where’s the ball? Where’s the Texas Defense? Look- I am a old woman who never played a down of football but who could catch a pass in that defensive strategy. PS – the ball is seen just above the 25 yard line.

The Cowgirl and/or the Horse Could Have Kicked Better Award. Notice the rider does not wear a black mask or a cape like you know who. I guess these Cowboys do not need to hide their face.

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The Block Party Awardblock-party-610x800

Thank you KK for such great pics and D for holding the paper. Go Pokes!

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.0 is awarded to Baylor University. Baylor 45 Iowa State 42 A three week Bye? That is right – only 10 teams in the Conference formerly known as The Big 12.

The first Premature Celebration Award goes to Florida State University for scoring a go ahead touchdown with 23 seconds remaining in the game. FSU 35 UNC 34.

The How to Kick Winning Field Goals Version 3.01 is awarded to University of North Carolina for kicking a 54 yard field goal as time expires. UNC 37 FSU 35.

The Exploding Pumpkin Head for Coaches is shared – first by Bob Stoops from OU when the Cooper’s call went against the Sooners and then TCU’s Gary Patterson when the call was reversed. OU 52 TCU 46.

The second Premature Celebration Award goes to Georgia for scoring on a Hail Mary pass with 10 seconds left in the game. Bulldogs 31 Tennessee Vols 28.

The Hail Mary Joshua Fit the Final Battle of the SEC East Award goes to Joshua Dobbs and Jauan Jennings for the last play of the game. Tennessee 34 Georgia 31. Back to back successful Hail Mary passes! Where are my nitro glycerin pills?

The Just When I thought I was Calm Award goes to Clemson and Louisville.

The Longest Yard Award goes to Louisville for coming up one yard shy on Fourth Down as the time expires. Clemson 42 – Louisville – 36. Shake it off, Cardinals. I understand Cougar meat taste like Tiger meat.

The Getta the Hell Out of Town Fast with a W Award is awarded to The Fighting Texas Aggies and Coach Sumlin. Texas A&M 24 South Carolina 13

The No Let Up Award goes to Texas A&M and tu – not the tu orange that burnt up in Stillwater. It is the faded orange that resembles checkered table cloths washed in bleach. Tennessee is coming to town! # 8 Texas Aggies and # 9 Tennessee Volunteers. 2:30 CBS Kyle Field Saturday, October 8, 2016. Note to non-football people – STAY AWAY from Bryan College Station probably officially beginning Thursday. This place is already going wild and crazy and it’s only Monday. WHOOP!

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Gig ‘Em Barn – Highway 6 photo by me. 9.22.2016

Note to self: Check liquor supply. Ensure all calming drugs are up to date. And Who’s Cooper?

BTHO Tennessee!

Monday, September 26, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Or Ring of Fire.

Monday, September 26, 2016 – The Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Or Ring of Fire.

“I fell into a burning ring of fire; it went down, down, down and the flames went higher…

You can Cash in on that as the firings of college football coaches begin. It’s a long way to the Championship and the road will be littered with others.

And now, appropriately enough, our awards…

The U-Haul Your Butt Away trophy is awarded to LSU Coach, Les Miles with runners up trailers for coordinators at Notre Dame and LSU.

The Second Coming of Sherman Award goes to Georgia as the Ole Miss Rebels sang a chorus “… while we were marching in through Georgia.” Hotty Toddy! Rebels 45. Dawgs 14.

The Delay of Game for Lightening AGAIN Award goes to Oklahoma State University. I am pretty sure those chrome looking helmets worn by both teams was the cause of the lightening striking nearby.

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The Wizard of Oz Award goes to Baylor – The last hope of The Big 12 Schools to have a chance to win something other than a goofy, no count, never heard of before bowl game. Baylor – 35 Oklahoma State – 24.

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McLane Stadium Waco 2016 Photo by Larry

The John Wayne Christmas Tree Award goes to Notre Dame for being upset by Duke. Blue Devils 38. Catholics 35. That is no Bull Durham.

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The Why Are You Even Here Award? goes to Delaware State for staying until the bitter end of a 79-0 loss to Missouri.

The Running Up of the Numbers Award goes to The University of Houston for a blow out of Texas State of 64-3.

The U of H Board of Regents win The Fastest Quorum Award for an emergency meeting voting to up Herman’s salary to keep him and the Herman’s Hermits on Buffalo Bayou and not a bayou on the Mississippi.

The E-Reptile Dysfunction Award goes to Florida as the Gators were not able to cross Rocky Top for a 12th time.

He had the nerve and he had the blood and there never was a horse like the Tennessee stud…

However, let us not forget it is the SEC East where the practice teams play in preparation to the real teams in the SEC West. Tennessee – 38 Florida – 26.

The Tigers of LSU win the following Awards:

The Highest Decibel Level for a single state screaming Curse Words in a Single Second.

The Most Beer Cans Thrown at TVs in bars in a Single Second.

The Best Country Western song: There Goes My Sphinctor and my Job in One Single Second.

The Jimmy Buffet Fins Award – The Land Sharks are circling and you’re the only bait in town.

Auburn wins The Charmin Award for wrapping the sacred trees to celebrate its weird victory over LSU. The award also comes with free tickets to the Fireman’s Ball. Bond for the idiot who set the toilet paper on fire and thus the sacred trees is not included in the package.

Alabama wins The Hormonal Award for its whipping of the Kent State Golden Flashes. Alabama – 48 and Kent State – 0. Obviously the Flashes were not hot enough to put any points on the score board.

The Thank You for No Over-Time Award goes to Texas A&M Aggies. How do you like the defense now? Arkansas – 24 Texas A&M – 45.

The Timex Award goes to the Arkansas quarterback, Austin Allen. He took a lickin, but kept on tickin. What a gutty performance. True Southern Grit.

The Curse of the Media Award goes to Texas A&M and AP Top 25 Poll for saying it.

If any team is going to challenge the Crimson Tide in the SEC West,

it’s the Aggies.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/colleges/ap-top-25-heat-check-fallout-and-falling-out-at-lsu/2016/09/26/59dc5620-83bf-11e6-b57d-dd49277af02f_story.html

Say it ain’t so. Every year when some sports broadcaster or writers says something like this, the Aggies begin to slide as if they stepped in owl manure. How about just having Lee Curses (Lee Corso) and Herbie Pie Cutie Pie (Kirk Herbstreit) continue to pick against the Aggies on Game Day?

Friday, September 23, 2016 – The Snark Attacks! The Side Step. Vote RP DWTS

Friday, September 23, 2016 – The Snark Attacks! The Side Step. Vote RP DWTS

Assessment Question: Who wrote The Side Step?

Vote Early and Vote Often to keep former Governor of Texas Rick Perry on Dancing with the Stars. In spite of the fact that the little person has outscored him twice, let’s continue our support for our beloved. It sounds funnier if one says he got out scored by a midget, but that is politically incorrect.

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My retirement letter from the state of Texas.

I do not know what he is running for, but he is certainly campaigning for something. Fellow Texans,

I am proudly standing here to humbly see. I assure you, and I mean it- Now, who says I don’t speak out as plain as day? And, fellow Texans, I’m for progress and the flag- long may it fly. I’m a poor boy, come to greatness. So, it follows that I cannot tell a lie. Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don’t- I’ve come and gone and, ooh I love to sweep around the wide step, Cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

Even though Tom DeLay danced to it, we all want to see RP dance to it again. Am I right? Maybe the song writer herself would perform. I would be happy if you danced to this tune. You could dedicate it to Dolph.

It’s just a little bitty pissant country place Ain’t nothing much to see No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be It’s just a piddly squatting old time country place Ain’t nothing to hide at all Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill But there’s nothing dirty going on…

Whatever you do, RP, please do not dance to The Aggie Song. I do not think I can handle seeing you shirtless, in boots, tight jeans, a cowboy hat and a smile. Oh that is right. You refuse to wear a hat.

BTHO Arkansas!

BTHO

BTHO Arkansas!

The fabulously talented Dolly Parton wrote the lyrics The Side Step.

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Dolly Parton – Ann Richards Inauguration – Erwin Center Austin, Texas. Photo by me

http://genius.com/Dolly-parton-the-sidestep-lyrics