Category Archives: Texas Aggies

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

Posted on October 3, 2017 | 1 comment

Tuesday, October 3, 2017 – Wardrobes for the Weekend – Lace Bralette

It is ever too early to start preparing for this weekend’s football game. I am so excited. Ms. Navasota and I have an opportunity to tailgate in the afternoon prior to the Texas Aggie Alabama game Saturday night. Maybe Ms. Navasota’s cousin KT will join us.

I dusted off the Beat Alabama Shrine last evening and begin lighting the candle when I say vespers. I realize the helmet, even with the JM autograph is of little value, but he is the only one to have Rolled back the Tide.

Ms. Navasota, Cousin KT and I want to blend in with the college coed crowd so we need an appropriate game day wardrobe. Just because it has been almost 50 years since we graduated from under grad school, we want to fit it toe to head.

I believe we three are able to produce the necessary cowboy boots. I mean we are all Native Texas so we have several pair.

We have had difficulty to finding Daisy Dukes cut offs in our sizes that show off our butt cheeks. It seems the stores do not carry our sizes of cut offs with elastic waists or in super stretch. I believe we have been able to make do with some jeans we had left over from George W.’s first term and a pair of pinkin shears. Those alligator teeth scissors.

I am going to skip bodice attire and focus on face and head-gear and save the bodice until last. Like boots, all Native Texas have a cowboy hat of some sort. Real cowboys and cowgirls have several hats – the high dollar beaver hat you wear to rodeo; the nice summer straw hat you wear in the summer; the hats you work it and the $2.00 hat you wear to costume parties.

This cheap cowboy hat is appropriate else it distract from the $250 Rayban Aviator sun glasses that adorn your face. Side bar: Being the more literary type, my $250 Rayban sun glasses are called “Gatsby” for the sign over the Optical Shop in The Great Gatsby and Cats That Support Aggies.

But back to bodice. I have purchased each of us a maroon lace bralette.

While it sounds like a cheap wine or a French dessert, it seems you wear this over your bra and it is supposed to function as a shirt or blouse. I honest to God do not know if this is the back or the front. We will have to experiment.

We will supply our own bras to wear under our lace bralettes. I suppose the bras I have with NIKE on them will not work. Oooh, I wonder if there is a bra that says BTHO Bama! I would so wear that.

I doubt you will be able to see us on television because we will be so blended in with the co-eds. I plan to wear my maroon bralette over my T-shirt.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Posted on September 29, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, September 29, 2017 –Snarky Friday College Football

Thirty days hath September and there were some games to remember and many to forget… But first.

The NFL debacle – IMHO – This should never have been an issue. The intrusion of the government into the corporate arena sets a dangerous precedent. Here’s what I’m thinking – the American citizens in Puerto Rico would die to have a cold drink of fresh water and electricity to even watch TV. Wait, the citizens just might die while waiting. So why?

Speaking of why? Why is THE University of Texas playing on a Thursday? Better yet, why is THE University even playing Iowa State? Even better, why is Iowa State even in the Big 12 Conference?

BEVO – Photo by Jill.

But BEVO’s Boys withstood the Cyclones 17-7. Please know that Iowa State is in the running for Ugly Uniform Award. The mascot is a weather pattern.

Tonight we have Miami and Duke on ESPN at 6:00 and USC and Washington State following. It is always fun to watch a Mike Leach team.

The Saturday Wake-up Call Games at 11:00 are:

New Mexico State and Arkansas on SECN – more Aggies for the Baconators. Did you know the New Mexico State mascot is named Pistol Pete?

Vanderbilt and Florida on ESPN – Did you know the ONLY altruistic endeavor by Commodore Vanderbilt was the establishment of Vanderbilt University?
Northwestern and Wisconsin on ABC. Yawn.

In the 2:30 time slot we find:

Baylor at Kansas State @ 2:30 on ESPN 2. This depends on which Bears show up in Manhattan. Could be interesting if the ones from last week take the field.
Georgia and Tennessee on CBS – Dogs again. UGA and Smokey. I don’t know if “Rocky Top will always be…”

Why? Why are the best games in the evening?

If any two teams should have a weather pattern as their mascot it should be Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. in Lubbock at 7:00 on Fox. Tortillas blowing in the wind.

Love my TT pic. Love you Little Sister. AXOs.

If Oklahoma State and New Mexico State should meet in a game, would it be Dueling Pistol Petes?

In the battle between Mississippi and Alabama ESPN will showcase:

Mississippi State and Auburn at 5:00. To the Bulldogs – you need a Big Solid Defense. To Auburn: Roll Tide.
Ole Miss and Alabama at 8:00 ESPN at Tuscaloosa – Hotty Toddy, but Roll Tide. Dear Coach Saban, Do not underestimate your opponent. The Rebels have nothing to play for except pride.

Sandwiched between the Battle of Mississippi and Alabama we find Troy University at Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge to meet LSU at 6:00 in the last non-conference primer for LSU. Here is a primer on Troy: The Troy Trojans mascot is named T-Roy. He is one of those dressed up mascots. Troy University’s athletics nickname was the Red Wave until the early 1970s when the student body voted to change the name to Trojans. I am not going to ask why they changed to that. One can only hope the students and the state of Alabama were aware that Trojan refers to a warrior and not a birth control device.

The game of the weekend is the Texas A&M Aggies versus the South Carolina Gamecocks on the SECN at 6:30.That means crappy announcers live from Kyle Field. Things to watch for overall: Crappy announcers misprouncing small Texas towns, talking way too much and saying nothing. For the Gamecocks watch for Uncle Will Muschamp exploding at referees and players. For the Aggies watch for the explosive Captain Christian Kirk.

Other burning questions you must have are:

What is the mascot of South Carolina?

Cocky (mascot) Cocky is the costumed mascot of the University of South Carolina athletics teams. He represents a cartoon version of a gamecock (a fighting rooster).

Why is South Carolina’s mascot a Gamecock?

The University of South Carolina’s varsity sports teams are known as the “Gamecocks”. This unique moniker is held in honor of Thomas Sumter, a Revolutionary War hero from South Carolina who was nicknamed the “Carolina Gamecock” after British General Banastre Tarleton said Sumter “fought like a gamecock.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocky_(mascot)

What is the mascot of Texas A&M?

The mascot of Texas A&M University is Reveille. She is a beautiful and very real Collie and the First Lady of Aggieland. She is prettiest mascot in her category in the NCAA mascot contest.

Source: NCAA and every Texas Aggie on the planet.

Native Texan Wall: Texas Monthly Cover signed “To Delia; Ann Richards.” FYI – I also have George W’s signature signed “To Delia Best Wishes George W. Bush.

Since we started the day with politics, let us end it with politics. When former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, was campaigning for her first term, she and her staff were flying to The Valley on a campaign trip. One of her staff members asked: “Miss Richards, the people will want to know where you stand on cock fighting.” Miss Richards replied “To be honest, I never met one that I wanted to fight with.”

BTHO South Carolina.

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 25, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, September 25, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Things begin to get serious for teams I like and teams that play teams I like. There are few cupcake games on the schedule. Defensive and offensive units begin to solidify. We hope.

Let us begin with Poopy Undies Awards. This is given to the fans of teams who need a change in undergarments due to their team’s performance. The first award goes to the Fighting Texas Aggies for once again defeating the Arkansas Razorbacks in overtime. How many times now Hogs? Doesn’t matter the South Carolina Chickens are coming to College Station.

Poopy Undies Awards must be awarded to the fans of Oklahoma and Baylor. To go with your Poo Poo Undies Award, OU, you also receive The Never Under Estimate your Opponent Award.

Boomer Sooner Baylor Bust. Photo by Debbie

While we are giving bodily function awards, let us proceed to the Pepto Bismal Awards for upsets.

Florida – 28 Kentucky – 27 – Gator kick field goal to win as time expires. Basketball season begins soon!
Florida State 21 NC State 27- Good bye to the Top 25 for the Seminoles.
TCU – 44 Oklahoma State -31 – Pissed Off Pistol Pete in Stillwater. Frogs rising and making things interesting in the Big 12.

The Southern Ladies Arts and Crafts Ideas for During Game Award goes to those who endured the Mississippi State loss to Georgia. Bully 3 and UGA 31.

Ladies, may I suggest implementing a Cursing Jar on game day? This is for those whose language often becomes colorful when one is forced to utter expletive deleteds as he or she watches in horror as their alma mater has no defense and no offense. With each play, drop a quarter into a plastic jar. Jars should be plastic to avoid breakages when thrown at the television.

This Curse Fund can add up quickly. During the Texas Aggie/UCLA game I made five dollars during the fourth quarter alone. Variations may include quarters for one syllable curses; two quarters for compound words; and a $1.00 for compound words and phrases questioning one’s religion and one’s birth mother.

The only Big Solid Award for Defense goes to Texas Aggie Armani Watts for intercepting the pass in the end zone to end the game in OT and seal a victory for the Aggies.

To the official from The Hellen Keller School of Officiating, we give the Right Foot Wrong Foot Award. This is given for calling the Aggie QB out of bounds when it was actually the defender who was out of bounds. Does the “S” stand for Sightless?

Photo by Barrett Sallee, from Twitter.

The last awards are the fashion awards. First the team – to Baylor. Not exactly ugly, but the black and gold lame (pronounced “lay may”) numbers did not work for me. But hey, if works, then keep on wearing. Also, do you know how long it took me to find out how to spell lame? And now I can’t find the little punctuation thing show it is French prounced‘lamay’ and not ‘lame’ as the team was before.

The final fashion award for Worst Dressed goes to Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema. Yes, that sweat shirt made you look frumpy. It looked like a last minute pick up off the floor fashion decision. Show some dressing!

I apologize for no awards to the Biggies this week as each had no trouble with their opponent – Alabama, Ohio State and Clemson. Here’s a Dr. Pepper and boys’ medium shirt from Larry, Doug Flutie and Boston College.

I wonder if South Carolina will take the mascot to the Dixie Chicken next Saturday. BTHO South Carolina. Maybe we’ll tailgate. I’ll bring chicken tacos!

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Baylor, Mississippi State, Oklahoma State University, OU, TCU

Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

Posted on September 22, 2017 | 1 comment

Friday, September22, 2017 – Snarky Friday – My College Football Preview

It is the First Day of Fall. The temperature is an unpleasant and humid 90 degrees in Texas.

Hope The Fighting Texas Aggie Band looks as good in Jerry World in Dallas as in Kyle Field last week. Photo by KB.

Starting our football day on ESPN at 11:00 AM. in the morning, we have The Hopefully Fighting Texas Aggies versus the Arkansas Razorbacks in the SEC opener for both teams. Sing it Willie Nelson, It’s gonna be a Bloody Mary Morning. Hopefully it will be served with an extra-large side of bacon, sausage and a pork chop. I imagine the frying pan will very hot for both coaches.

Speaking of a coach’s butt sitting in the frying pan, on ABC at 11:00 you will find the Red Raiders from Texas Tech playing the University of Houston Cougars in a match-up of former Big 12 quarterbacks now head coaches. We find in the frying pan Tech Coach, Former Tech QB, Kliff Kingsbury. Opposite will be former QB at THE University of Texas, Major Applewhite. Hook ‘Em! And Go Cougar High! Remember Tech does not play defense.

I am not so certain I would be screaming “Guns Up” in TDECU Stadium in Houston. Sidebar: The official name of the stadium is derived from Texas Dow Employees Credit Union (TDECU), the largest credit union in Houston, which purchased its naming rights in the largest-ever naming rights deal for a college football stadium.

On CBS at a most reasonable hour of 2:30 Alabama travels to Nashville to meet Vanderbilt in their SEC opener. Vandy, you gonna need a lot more than Lionel Richie and The Commodores trying to sing country in Nashville. ROLL TIDE!

Photo by Kristen

Following the Aggies and Hogs we have TCU and Oklahoma State on ESPN @ 2:30. This game has potential. Go Pokes!

The David and Goliath Game is between Baylor and Oklahoma. Nothing sounds worse rising over The Brazos River above McLane Stadium than Boomer Soomer all evening long. Oh, the game is on FS 1 at 5:30 in the event you are interested.

Veterans Park, College Station Texas. Photo by me.

That game could be over by 6:00 when it time to switch to any other game on TV. I will be watching ESPN and the dog fight between Bully and UGA or Mississippi State versus the University of Georgia. Let the Cowbells ring in Athens on Saturday night. Going to need some Big Solid Defense.

Of course I will be accessing all of my screens (I know JH, you have screen envy) as I check on other contests looking for close scores; ugly uniforms/helmets, and exploding coaches.

BTHO Arkansas!

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Arkansas football, Baylor, Georgia, Mississippi State, Oklahoma University, OU, TCU, Texas Tech, University of Houston

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 19, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

This weekend’s games were why we love college football.

Let’s begin with the scores. All the Bigs won big by big scores. Alabama OU, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Clemson.

The When Is It Basketball Season? Award goes to Baylor for their loss to Duke 20 to 34. There is always Kansas, Baylor.

The ULaLa Second Half Elixir Award, produced by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and The Fighting Aggie Band goes to the Texas Aggies.

The announcers said “Perhaps the Aggie Band will help the Aggies in the second half.” Photo by KB.

Not certain if this is Kyle Field at 11:00 kickoff, but it looks pretty full to me. Photo by KB.

I hope you ordered a case of the Elixir for next week’s game. Now that you have finished playing the Three Sisters of the Poor, next week it is time to bring home the bacon.

Photo by me. Gator by Prejeans.

The 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to both UT schools. First to the University of Tennessee. Hail Mary, Full of Gatorade, as Florida wins with a Hail Mary pass as time runs out to defeat the Vols. I guess Gators can reach Rocky Top.

The second 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to THE University of Texas as USC scores with seconds left in the first half.

In addition, THE University of Texas receives a Poopy Undies Award and a new award entitled Pop a Vein Award as their fans watched the entire game ultimately loosing as the field goal split the uprights in the second overtime giving USC the win 24 -27. Trust me, Horns, the Aggies know the feeling of seeing the ball go through the goal post as time expires. At least it wasn’t in your stadium and on Thanksgiving.

The Herding Cats Cowbell Award goes to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State. For Real! These dogs put an ass kicking on LSU 27 to 7.

As mentioned in previous posts, this year there is The Big Solid Award. This award is given to defensive units and individuals in the defense and there are several this week. Let’s begin with The Big Solid’s Alma Mater, Mississippi State and award a Big Solid Award to the Mississippi State Defense. It is not easy to herd cats.

Bully! I could have been a contender. I am prettier than Smokey and UGA. When is our play day, Miss Reveille? Photo my me from the TV.

A second Big Solid Award goes to the Defense of THE University of Texas. I am not sure the Horns are back, but the defense was impressive. Let us see what happens in Dallas in October.

Now to the individual Big Solid Awards.

To #4 Deshon Elliot, of THE University, I am awarding the Franco Harris Immaculate Reception Award and a Big Solid Award for 2.5 interceptions. Yes, it was almost three interceptions so I am giving half credit for the almost third one.

To Texas Aggie # 23 Armani Watts – a Big Solid Award for two interceptions. We are going to need many more of those.

And last, the Big Super Solid Award goes to #8, Dorion O’Daniel of Clemson for his interception of a Heisman Winning Quarterback, (Lamar Jackson) and returning it for a touchdown. Pure Big Solid. Perhaps he will share the video when the Bulldogs take on the Tide. Factoid: Joe Namath was eleventh in the balloting for the 1964 Heisman Trophy, which was won by quarterback John Huarte of Notre Dame. John Who?

Honeyboy! Look who just won the American League West! The Houston Astros! This might be the year! Go Astros.

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 18, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, September 18, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

This weekend’s games were why we love college football.

Let’s begin with the scores. All the Bigs won big by big scores. Alabama OU, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Clemson.

The When Is It Basketball Season? Award goes to Baylor for their loss to Duke 20 to 34. There is always Kansas, Baylor.

The ULaLa Second Half Elixir Award, produced by Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and The Fighting Aggie Band goes to the Texas Aggies.

The announcers said “Perhaps the Aggie Band will help the Aggies in the second half.” Photo by KB.

Not certain if this is Kyle Field at 11:00 kickoff, but it looks pretty full to me. Photo by KB.

I hope you ordered a case of the Elixir for next week’s game. Now that you have finished playing the Three Sisters of the Poor, next week it is time to bring home the bacon.

Photo by me. Gator by Prejeans.

The second 00.00 Clockwork Orange Award goes to THE University of Texas as USC scores with seconds left in the first half.

The Herding Cats Cowbell Award goes to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State. For Real! These dogs put an ass kicking on LSU 27 to 7.

Bully! I could have been a contender. I am prettier than Smokey and UGA. When is our play day, Miss Reveille? Photo my me from the TV.

A second Big Solid Award goes to the Defense of THE University of Texas. I am not sure the Horns are back, but the defense was impressive. Let us see what happens in Dallas in October.

Now to the individual Big Solid Awards.

To Texas Aggie # 23 Armani Watts – a Big Solid Award for two interceptions. We are going to need many more of those.

Honeyboy! Look who just won the American League West! The Houston Astros! This might be the year! Go Astros.

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Nick Saban, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged college football, Florida, humor, Mississippi State, Texas Aggies, The University of Tennessee, The University of Texas

Friday, September 15, 2017 – Dog Gone It! Best Dog in Show!

Posted on September 15, 2017 | 2 comments

Friday, September 15, 2017 – Dog Gone It! Best Dog in Show!

Snarky Friday before College Football is short today due to a busy day for The Snark and many lackluster football teams and games scheduled for Saturday. Of course there are exceptions.

At 11:00 on ESPN we find #9 Oklahoma State versus Pitt. Yes, 11:00 o’clock games are the Pitts.

On CBS @ 2:30 in a huge SEC match up, for the bottom of the Top 25 but a seat at # 1 in the SEC, we have #23 Tennessee and # 24 Florida. I suggest to Tennessee not to Volunteer to put your hand in the Gator’s mouth.

However, Gators do not habitat mountainous areas. “Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top Down in the Tennessee hills…”

Thank you Algers, for being in Tennessee the day it after Coach Summitt’s announcement and buying me this shirt. Please remember the cause behind it

At 6:00 in another SEC match up it will be raining cats and dogs in Starkville, MS, when # 12 LSU meets Mississippi State. Go Big Solid! But Geaux Tigers. Watch on ESPN.

On FOX at 7:30 THE University of Texas returns to Los Angles to play USC. Didn’t the Horns play that team a long time ago? Probably a very long time ago for Horns Fans. Perhaps the BEVO Trojan Horse will have the Alabama Team inside. Watch Bama play Colorado State at 6:00 on ESPN2. Roll Tide. Watch out for Rocky Mountain Highs in Colorado. I am referring to the altitude of course.

Back to the morning – kicking off to a full stadium in Kyle Field, the Rajun Cajuns from UL Layfayette bring their mascot, Cayenne the Pepper, and the rest of the team to meet the Texas Aggies. Let’s see Aggies if you get the adjective “Fighting” back next week.

BTHO Rajun Cajuns!

Here’s the Big Dogs, the Under Dogs and the Best Dog in Show. Check out the video for the history of the four runners up and the winner – Lady Reveille. WHOOP!

http://www.ncaa.com/video/football/2017-09-13/high-five-college-football-best-dog-mascots-reveille-uga-jonathan

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Posted in Alabama, College Football, college football, Education, humor, LSU, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, BEVO, Pat Summitt, Reveile IX, The University of Tennessee, The University of Texas

Thursday, September 14, 2017 – I Kid You Not. Goat Yoga

Posted on September 14, 2017 | 1 comment

Thursday, September 14, 2017 – I Kid You Not. Goat Yoga

The other day my friend, RL, sent me a link and said “this may go over better down there” Better meaning in College Station. – Home of Texas A&M University. The A&M formerly stood for Agricultural and Mechanical. It is a myth that those of us who hold degrees from The Harvard on the Brazos are competent in agriculture and mechanical things. I have a tendency to kill even fake plants and I can’t operate a mechanical pencil. Where was I goating with this?

I clicked the link and realized it was doing yoga with a goat and my first thought was “Nope, sounds like more of a Keep Austin Weird” thing to me. I am not fond of goats or yoga. Both are smelly.

It seems that you pay a fee and get to do yoga with a Kazmir Kountry Nigerian Dwarf Goat. I do not know if you get a discount if you bring your own goat.

If one is interested this website offers goat yoga classes as a Hurricane Irma Benefit later this month. You missed the goat yoga benefit for Hurricane Harvey, but there will be another opportunities. https://www.eventbrite.com/o/goga-goat-yoga-austin-15045758190

Subscribers to Goat Monthly received postcards featuring twin goats. Goat Monthly? Should Texas Monthly be worried?

http://www.austin360.com/lifestyles/recreation/goat-yoga-new-workout-trend-has-officially-come-austin/FePXhUq40C4j7AHxxLjvfO/

Here’s what I’m thinking. I just got back from the gym with my wonder trainer. To KB and former trainers, Killer Queen and Snookie, don’t even goat there. I am not goating to do this. No way am I planking with a damn goat sitting on my back. I am not lifting the goat as a free weight. I am not doing squats or lunges with the goat around my shoulders. I am not chasing the goat for a cardio workout. Just say NO to goats.

I saw that there was a Facebook page about the goats, but when I clicked on it, it said the page was not available. I suppose the goat ate it.

https://www.facebook.com/ADOPTfordogs/

I am thinking that my friend, HW, should give some thought to Chicken Yoga. Not just a farm animal spin off yoga, but design yoga mats with numbers and have Chicken Crap Bingo Yoga mats. I would not advise actually doing chicken yoga and chicken crap bingo simultaneously. As the bumper sticker says “Shit happens!”

Never too early to set up the Beat Alabama Shrine.

However, if goat or any other form of yoga is the answer to finding an offensive line, an entire defense and a quarterback, then let’s goat to doing it Aggies. What you think, Coach?

Dixie Chicken Yoga?

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Posted in Alabama, Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged goat yoga

Monday, September 11, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 11, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, September 11, 2017 – My Monday After College Football Awards

With no further typing – My Monday after college football awards.

The Cupcake Game Ball goes to almost every team that played a smaller school. You won by large double digit margins and the smaller school is able to fund their entire athletic program for this year.

In the Uniform Category –The Best Uniform Award goes to the Ducks of Oregon. The Ducks usually win the Ugliest Uniform, but not Saturday. Their uniforms were a chrome helmet, with white jerseys and pants. Green numbers. Bright yellow socks and gloves that read: Win the Day. Win the Fight. Overcome. The uniforms were designed by kids with cancer from the Doernbecher Hospital and Nike.

Best Uniform for the rest of College Football – The Class Act Award goes to every team expressing their support for Texas with Texas Strong shirts and stickers. Florida you are not forgotten.

The Nothing Pisses Off your Opponent More Award goes “OOOOOOOOklahoma where the flag was planted in the O …” as Boomer Sooner echoes throughout the stadium. Let the Baker stick a fork in that Buckeye pie. It is done! See ya in Atlanta with Alabama.

The Unanswered Question Award goes to The Ohio State University Band. Since no one will be able to read cursive in the future, do you plan change Script Ohio to Print Ohio?

THE University of Texas receives The Sparse Kickoff Crowd Trophy. Looks a bit Spartan. Then again, there is Austin traffic to consider.

Photo by Jill

Glad to see Bevo’s horns growing. A good victory. Enjoy the victory because the USC Trojans await you next Saturday. Don’t forget who won the Trojan War. Hook ‘Em Hippies. (Read USC home page story of Jake Olsen- blind long snapper. https://www.usc.edu/)

The Exploding Coach’s Head Award goes to the Offensive Coordinator for UTSA along with The Hot Mike Award. He could be heard screaming not one, but two, multi-syllable, compound word, adjective profanities that would make Uncle Will Muschamp blush. Heck, it made me and RL blush and that is real hard to do. I am pretty sure you can’t even say damn in Waco or question one’s mother’s fornications.

And now our final category – WORST FOOTBALL GAME EVER! Equally sharing the awards below are Baylor University and Texas A&M University.

Not just a Poopy Undies Award, but Throw Away Your Underwear Award to both teams. Playing down to your opponent is very dangerous. Your opponent has nothing to lose and gets a large portion of the gate receipts. This makes your fan bases want to say things like the USTA coach did and throw the remotes toward the TV. There are no photos because we threw the phones toward the TV or we had to reboot them after drowning them with tears.

Here to receive The My Grandmother Can Run Through that Opening Award goes to the Defensive Units of Baylor and A&M. Hey, Chavis.! This is not what the Aggies are paying you for.

Wearing a grandmother style hair, but can he play quarterback?

First to Baylor – You next opponent is Duke. Well, there is always basketball to look forward to.

To the Aggies – You’re next opponent is UL Lafayette. They do not call them Ragin Cajuns for nothing. Their mascot is a one of those dress up mascots that is a pickled pepper named Cayenne. I do not want to see you pepper sprayed all over Kyle Field.

And last for today, The Weather Report Award goes to Roy Philpot in the broadcast booth at Kyle Field for saying “it is a sweltering night here in College Station.” Native Texans consider an 80 degree temperature at night in September as a “cool spell,” Maybe it was just your reaction to the booth swaying during War Hymn, but I can only conclude that you were referring to something else sweltering in College Station besides the temperature.

12th Man Statue at Kyle Field. Photo by me.

This post brought to you by Moving Your Things Down Highway 6 in Either Direction. Ready ! Aim! FIRE! R-E-L-O-A-D! A&M! Give us room, is not just a yell.

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Posted in Coach Kevin Sumlin, College Football, college football, Education, humor, Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Friday, September 8, 2017 – Snarky Friday Before College Football Saturday

Posted on September 8, 2017 | Leave a comment

Friday, September 8, 2017 – Snarky Friday Before College Football Saturday

The Snark of Friday is here and is very angry. To the person who send a letter of racial hatred and bigotry to the Sumlin Family: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. Your behavior is disgusting and reprehensible.

Football is a game. College football is an opportunity for many young men to succeed on the field and off. To criticize a coach due to perceived coaching abilities and even to express the desire for a replacement are well within the boundaries of the game. Alumni do not pay for mediocrity. To attack a coach’s family with such vitriolic spewed hatred and then to end it with a threat, is wrong for any family.

From the statement issued by Texas A&M AD Scott Woodward, “We unequivocally condemn this disgusting and threating letter. There is no excuse for hatred and as a community; we will not allow the ignorance of some to intimidate any member of our community.”

To the sender of the letter: May a plague of poxes fall upon your house that brings swarming locusts and grasshoppers, mounds of fire ants, moles in your flower beds, bed bugs in your mattresses, roaches in every room and leaks in the roof throughout your house.

Now moving down field.

From last evening congratulations to Sammy Bearkat and the Boys from Sam Houston in the win over Prairie View A&M 44-31. Not quite enough scare for a Poopie Undies Award Sam, but I will give you Skids Award. Well done, PVA&M.

Our football evening begins tonight with Pistol Pete and the Oklahoma State Cowboys. We shall find the Pokes playing South Alabama at 7:00 on ESPN2. If I were any team from Alabama, I would be watching Oklahoma State – even you in Saban land.

Tomorrow begins at 9:00 with ESPN Game. One of my football goals is to get a selfie with Kirk Herbstreit. I think he is cute and when Fowler scared him last Halloween with a spider and he screamed like a girl, I knew I wanted to meet him.

Thank goodness, apparently no one I care about is playing at the ungodly hour of 11:00 AM.

Screen # 3 – So the day begins with TCU and Arkansas entertaining us in old Southwest Conference rematch at 2:30 on CBS. Go FROGS!

Screen # 2 – Opposite the Frogs and Pigs we find THE University of Texas Longhorns trying to see if they can answer the question “Do you know the way to San Jose?” Kick-off is at 2:30 in DKR Memorial Stadium with Texas versus San Jose State on the Long Horn Network.

Screen # 1 -On my main screen aka Living Room (as in there’s an elephant in the room) –

My friend Celeste and a pack of pachyderms.

will be#1 Alabama versus Fresno State at 2:30 on ESPN2 in Tuscaloosa. Hounds Tooth hats for everyone! ROLL TIDE!

On Fox Sports Southwest – At the truly beautiful McLane Stadium in Waco on the Brazos the Road Runners from University of Texas San Antonio meet Baylor @7:00. New Rhule: Do not take the Road Runners lightly and try not to look like Wiley Coyote like you did last week. Sic ‘Em Bears.

Pardon me Mike? Is that the Chattanooga Choo – choos?” Why yes, Mike, The Tiger, LSU plays Chattanooga at 6:30 on the SECN. The Chattanooga mascot is named after legendary football coach A.C. “Scrappy” Moore, Scrappy, the Chattanooga mascot, is a fixture for the Mocs. A re-design in 2008 puts Scrappy in the image of the State Bird of Tennessee, a Mockingbird. Thank goodness, I thought it might be a water moccasin. YUM. Cats like birds.

Not Relief Out shirts, but proceeds from these also go to Harvey relief efforts.

At 6:00 from Kyle Field we have a Relief Out game between Texas A&M v Nicholls State on ESPNU. All Harvey evacuees in the Brazos Valley were given free tickets. Fans will Relief Out the stadium by filling it with fans wearing Hurricane Harvey Relief shirts. All proceeds go to Harvey Relief efforts. Should provide an intimidating stadium for The Colonels. There will be more people in Kyle Field than live in Thibodaux, Louisiana.

Wearing Big Boy Uniforms playing big boy games we have the #13 Auburn Hair Color versus the # 3 Clemson Tigers @ 6:00 ESPN. Oh, both teams are the Tigers? Roll Tide.

On ABC at 6:30 we have the Sooners from “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma where the winds come sweeping down the plains” playing Ohio State Buckeyes. I am sorry. I do not know any Ohio State songs. If I get to meet Mr. Herbstreit, may he can me teach one.

Hope your team wins and

BTHO Nicholls State