Monthly Archives: November 2016

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 14, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, November 14, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Ship wreck 4

GLOOM! DISPAIR! And AGONY!

Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the water, the rankings in college football were shuffled like a cheap deck of bicycle playing cards.

Please note: No Poopy Undies Awards will be given today. At this point we are just going to go with the Oh Crap! Awards and every team, coach and fan receives one.

The first Oh Crap Award goes to every team that has played Alabama for the last four years as The Tide Rolls. Note: to Bama Fans – I only went back to Coach Sabin and did not count The Bear or G. Stallings or any of those the school claims and are recognized before playoffs when you were #1. Just so many. To The Crimson Tide – Congratulations for securing the SEC West. Roll Tide.

Other awards for teams are as follows. Let’s start with the Small (and getting smaller) 12 Conference teams.

First, to Baylor and Seth Russell here is a sincere heal soon wish. The BU QB gets the Joe Theisman Award for sustaining a stomach turning leg/ankle injury. You know it is bad when players from both sides jump up from the tackle pile screaming for help. But you really know it is bad when TV will not show the replay and the announcers are about to throw up.

In addition Baylor lost the game to OU 24 to 45. BU wins the Kiss Your Good Bowl Game Goodbye Award. Baker Mayfield is only a junior?

THE University of Texas wins the award for Not Quite Heaven, West Virginia for coming up short 24-20. The Exploding Head Coach Award goes the West Virginia’s Dana Holgorsen and the referee who refused to grant his time out request.

The Tortilla TECH kicker wins the What’s the Point Award? For missing the point after try and allowing the Oklahoma State Cowboys to escape with a one point victory – 44-45. Bedlam should be most interesting – especially since it could be for The Big 12 Championship. NOTE: Not a happy face emoticon for a team NOT from Texas winning.

The Tigers of LSU win the Bacon and Roller Skates Award for rolling over Arkansas and continuing to roll along in the SEC WEST. LSU and Arkansas 38 to10. Can we skip Thanksgiving in College Station this year?

The Clean up on Aisle Week 11 and Pepto Dismal Awards go:

Auburn – for being upset by Georgia 13 to 7. Of course any team that plays Auburn is my favorite team. Go DAWGS!

The team formerly #2 Clemson wins the It’s the Pitts Award. The kicker for Pitt wins a That’s the Point Award for making a 48 yard field goal with 5 seconds left to play.

The team formerly # 3 Michigan loses 13 to 14 over Iowa. Iowa wins The Pittsburg Steelers Look Alike Uniforms Award. The kicker for Iowa wins a That’s the Point Award! for kicking the winning field goal to upset Michigan in the final seconds.

And on the West Coast the USC Trojans of California were high and happy by upsetting the team formerly # 4 Washington 26-13. The Huskies’ dog house might be damaged for a chance at playoffs.

The November to Dismember Award goes to the Texas A&M and Ole Miss game and everybody associated with it beginning with:

Number One. Whose bright idea was it at the SEC Network to not only let Brent Mushmouth call the Aggie/Ole Miss game, but to let him work alone the first half? It made me almost glad when Jesse Palmer joined him. At least he could call (maybe even see) the correct names and numbers of the players. Brent, if you are so “glad to be back in Texas and College Station” please learn to correctly pronounce the names of the towns in Texas.

Number Two. Texas A&M and Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy Tequila Shotty!

Number Three. The Just in Time for Christmas the Collapsible Defense Doll. This doll works like a charm until the 4th quarter. Then it lies down, collapses and dies.

Number Four. The Q&A with Coach Chavis – did you fall asleep during the fourth quarter? Was it Irritable Bowel Syndrome? What the hell happened? Whatever it was it was stinky! A true freshman, just unred-shirted quarterback playing his first game and IN KYLE FIELD in front of over 100,000!! I am awarding you the Ricky Ricardo Award because “Oh Lucy! You got some splaining to do!”

As always, “Texas Aggies, down in Aggieland; we’ve got spirit – to the man; STAND UNITED that’s the Aggie theme; we’re the 12th Man on the Team…”

Twelfth Man (800x600)

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, LSU, LSU football, Oklahoma State University, Ole Miss, OU, The University of Texas

Sunday, November 13, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – Post Election

Posted on November 14, 2016 | Leave a comment

11.10.15 Veterans Park 2015-09-27 008 (601x800)

Photo by me.

Sunday, November 13, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – Post Election

To both candidates’ supporters. Some thoughts. Take or leave.

No foreign enemy attacked the United States. Be thankful.
There is a renewed sense of activism.
Never give up on your dreams and beliefs.
It is only four years and We, the People vote again.
Please stop making derogatory and hateful sweeping generalizations about the millenials. They will vote again. Remember every generation that came after yours (and mine) the generations before us said ‘the world was going to Hell in a hand basket because of us.” Remember the hippies and their (our) protests of 1968 were destined to end the world.
Please try to understand the disappointments reflected by others and especially stop making comments about their parental units. You have not walked through life in their shoes; nor have their walked in yours.
Please try to understand why certain groups that see the world differently than you do are afraid. See boots and shoes comment.
We are living history. Technological advances allow us see history happening 24/7.
Please do not be disappointed and hateful when gridlock appears in Washington, D.C. The operative word(s) is (are) “compromise” not “obstructive politics.”
Go outside Monday and look at the Super Moon. It is the same moon that has been there since time began. It is the same moon that has seen everything on earth and we are still here.

Thank you Neil Diamond for these words:

Jesus Christ, Fanny Brice Wolfie Mozart and Humphrey Bogart

And Genghis Khan And on to H. G. Wells Ho Chi Minh, Gunga Din

Henry Luce and John Wilkes Booth and Alexanders King and Graham Bell

Ramar Krishna, Mama Whistler

Patrice Lumumba and Russ Colombo

Karl and Chico Marx

Albert Camus, E. A. Poe, Henri Rousseau

Sholom Aleichem and Caryl Chessman Alan Freed and Buster Keaton too

And each one there Has one thing shared

They have sweated beneath the same sun

Looked up in wonder at the same moon

And wept when it was all done For bein’ done too soon

For bein’ done too soon For bein’ done too soon.

Photo by me.

If your plans include making America GREATER, we are not done.

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Posted in Education, Politics, Uncategorized

Friday, November 11, 2016 – Thank You

Posted on November 11, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, November 11, 2016 – Thank You

Veterans Day Post 11.11.15.2 (800x601)

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Posted in Misc., Politics

Thursday, November 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking

Posted on November 10, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, November 10, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking

To be a high priestess, one must be able to handle a snake and dance with a snake.

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” W.C. Fields

Dragons (800x530)

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Posted in humor, Misc.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016 – The Morning After or The Mourning After.

Posted on November 9, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, November 9, 2016 – The Morning After or The Mourning After.

I feel as though I have been on the Poseidon Adventure.

We, the People have spoken. Now We, the People have to unite.

Helicopter view of Statue of Liberty. New York City 1986. Photo by me.

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Posted in Politics

Tuesday, November 8, 2016 – Vote Pray Love! And the Winner Is…

Posted on November 8, 2016 | 1 comment

Tuesday, November 8, 2016 – Vote Pray Love! And the Winner Is…

It is Election Day in The United States of America. Today citizens select the next leader of our republic. Our democracy calls for a peaceful transition of power. There is no king or queen who gets the role by hereditary. There is no forceful usurpation by a dictator. We, the people select a new leader through the voting process guaranteed by the U. S. Constitution and amendments to the document.

The Preamble to the Constitution which states the purpose of the document reads:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Today there are two schools of thought. Old School – two things you never want to see being made – sausage and legislation or in this case – politics and the goings on of the proverbial smoke filled rooms of yesteryear.

Millennials’ School – you wanted to see a transparent government. With social media reaching critical mass one gets to see and hear everything. How do you like seeing the transparent government so far?

Tonight is going to be a Betty Davis evening. “Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night.” (All About Eve)

Life is about choices. One can choose to sing songs like Barry McGuire’s – On the Eve of Destruction

Handful of senators don’t pass legislation

And marches alone can’t bring integration

When human respect is disintegratin’

This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’

And you tell me over and over and over again my friend

Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction

Or you can sing The Beatles We Can Work It Out:

Life is very short, and there’s no time

For fussing and fighting, my friend

I have always thought that it’s a crime

So I will ask you once again

Try to see it my way

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong

While you see it your way

There’s a chance that we may fall apart before too long

We can work it out! We can work it out!

Your choice. Both of those songs were released in 1965. We, the People are still here and

We, the People … We can work it out!

Flags @ Front (800x529)

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Posted in Education, Politics

Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 7, 2016 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Backstory for the new kids on the blog – I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. If your team is not mentioned let me know and I take it under consideration.

First from the West Coast – USC versus Oregon – I don’t even know the score, but you both receive the Rubber Duck Award.

Next on the list we have the Small 12 Conference or The Land of No Defenses.

THE University of Texas survived the plains of Lubbock with a victory over Tortilla Tech. (THE University 45 TT 37.) My favorite team is whoever is playing Tech. Tech (800x600)

Oklahoma State 43 K-State 37. Mullet Mike and The Cowboys survive. Both of you win a Poopy Undies Award for scaring your fans.

The Kick Off to Tip Off Awards goes to Baylor and TCU for posting a basketball score of TCU 62 Baylor 22 on the opening weekend of college basketball season. And the score was not the only Uglies coming from Waco.

An Ugly Uniform Award goes to Baylor. Fifty shades of Waco is not becoming. Gray is not colorful. Neither is black as in the black cloud of ugly that seems to be a stationary front over the institution. Therefore, Baylor also receives the Frozen Award – Let It Go!

Look, Bears Pooping in the Woods, it is bad enough without constant reminders of ugly. Please do not hang dirty laundry out your windows. Who gets the sales from the T-shirts? cab-sign-out-suit-copy-800x600 Focus on the low level bowl game invitation you will now receive.

Letting go of that, let’s move on to the Top 10 and the SEC where games are more exciting and stressful.

The Bringing Home the Alligator Bacon goes to the Hogs of Arkansas! (Arkansas 31 Florida 10) Sooey Pig over 11th ranked Florida. Another favorite team is whoever is playing any school from Florida.

To players Chip Kelly of Ole Miss; Trevor Knight and Myles Garrett of Texas A&M, the Nebraska QB and all the others: All of you receive the Heal Quickly Award. Will miss you next weekend, Chip. I wanted to see you play against the Aggies.

And now the top tiered top ten college football awards. These 10 teams are listed according to today’s AP listings. Tomorrow we see who The Selection Committee votes for the Who’s In Top Four. Larry Culpepper and Dr. Pepper seem to be winning above all the others.

# 1 Alabama and LSU – (Bama 10 – LSU 0) Please share the following awards:

Best Football Game of the Weekend
A Special Edition of Poopy Undies Award
The “I Did Not Know I Could Hold My Breath for 47 Minutes” Award.
Defense – please share your videos with schools of the schools of the Small 12 Conference and perhaps these others listed below.

# 2 Michigan Maryland (Michigan 59 MD 3.) Michigan wins the Turtle Wax Award for waxing the Terrapins. Wolverines like turtles.

# Clemson and Syracuse (Clemson 54 Syracuse 0) – Clemson Wins the Too Much Orange on the Field Award.

# 4 Washington and Cal (formerly known as Berkley.) (Washington 66 Cal 27) Huskies receive the In the Right Rankings Now Award.

# 5 Louisville and Boston College (Louisville 52 BC 7) – Lamar Looking Heisman Good Award.

# 6 Ohio State and Nebraska (Ohio State 62 Nebraska 3) – The Huskers receive the Fun While It Lasted Award. Corn headwear really looks stupid when you lose to a nut named Bucky.

The Really Don’t Deserve an Award goes to the following:

# 7 Wisconsin and Northwestern (Wisconsin 21 Northwestern 7) – Badgers preparing for a bowl game where it is warm.

# 8 AUBURN? AUBURN! A hair color? You beat Vanderbilt by a touchdown 23 – 16! ROLL TIDE!

# 9 OU versus Iowa State (OU 34 Iowa State 24) – Bedlam is coming soon and The Cowboys are coming with it!

Coming in at # 10 is Texas A&M – where the Aggies should have been in the first place. (Texas A&M 28 Mississippi State 35) What a shipwreck in Starksville.

Aggies you receive a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner Award because we sucked as bad as the referees. Even I saw the block in the back on Captain Kirk’s punt return. Aggies win Pooper Scooper Award for leaving lots of it on the field.

Pooper Scoopers (800x599)

Nevertheless, “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…” and we do not lose – time on the clock runs out. We got your back, Jake! barn-n-park-9-22-16-2016-09-22-041-800x530

Tomorrow we see who the College Football Selection Committee votes for and who the citizens of The United States of America votes for. Please do not forget to cast your ballot. PS – we do not get to vote with the Selection Committee.

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies, Uncategorized

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, Baylor, Baylor Bears, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, college football, Crimson Tide, LSU, Oklahoma State University, TCU, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, November 4, 2016 – The Friday Football Snark – Who’s In?

Posted on November 4, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, November 4, 2016 – The Friday Football Snark – Who’s In?

The College Football Selection Committee announced on Tuesday, “Who’s In?” These are the four football teams that would match up for a national championship if the season ended on Tuesday. But the season did not end on Tuesday. Nor will it end on Saturday, but the Who’s In can change.

Before we see Who’s In, let’s begin with Who’s UP and Who are you?

Who is (are) the Idiots of Sports Programming who schedule football games at 11:00 am in the morning?

Moving along to Who’s Out? – These are the teams currently deemed out of contention for a National Championship in college football. However, one or two may go to a nice bowl game while the remaining will play in lesser bowl games in prime vacation spots like Shreveport, Louisiana. Well, you can go to the casinos.

From the Who’s Out from the Small 12 Conference:

Falling backwards to yesterday, OU defeated Iowa State 34 to 24. Do not forget to “fall back” and set your clocks back this weekend.

Coming to you live from Lubbock, Texas at the unholy hour of 11:00 am on FS 1 THE University of Texas plays Tortilla Tech. Flying breakfast tacos. Tech (800x600)

This should be an offensive delight. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

At the reasonable hour of 2:30 FOX brings us Baylor and TCU. This would have been more exciting if last weekend had not happened to both teams.

On ABC @ 2:30 the Cowboys of Oklahoma State play the Wildkats of Kansas State. FYI, Ms. Navasota – Bill Snyder is alive. Love you, Pistol Pete!

Who’s In? And Who Could Be In?

Surprising all of football and delighting all of Aggieland, the #4 Texas A&M Aggies play the Mississippi State Bulldogs. This is at the ridiculous hour of 11:00 AM on the “you must pay for it with your cable” the SECN. One game at a time Aggies! Vote for Conner McQueen for President! Trevor Knight for VP. Platform: “Gig ‘Em!”

Following the Aggies on ESPN @ 2:30 the Terrapins of Maryland play #3 Michigan. Please, oh please – The Turtle and the Hare! Maryland, My Maryland!

At the same time (2:30) on ABC in the Game of Orange we have Syracuse and # 2 Clemson. Go Round Orange Thing!

Otto the Orange

At 5:00 we have an Aggie Women’s Basketball Exhibition Game with Oklahoma City University @ Reed Arena. Go Lashes! No TV, but most of the season is on SEC.

Lashes 2 (800x450)

Returning home just in time for an evening of excitement:

On ABC at 7:00 Nebraska plays # 6 OHIO State. Go Huskers. Nobody likes nuts in their cornbread and Ohio uses plain bread to make dressing. Dreadful!

But rocking Baton Rouge at 7:00 PM on CBS the # 1 Alabama Tide rolls into Death Valley to meet the Tigers of LSU. So sorry dear Tide friends – but I gotta go with family on this one! Tiger Boogie! GEAUX Tigers!

And should you still be awake at 9:30 the # 5 Washington Huskies play the Bears of Cal on ESPN. Go BEARS! Beer Bear

12Th Man Statue – North Entrance to Kyle Field. College Station, Texas. Photo by me.

BTHO Mississippi State!

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Baylor football, Big 12 Conference, Clemson, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, LSU, Michigan, Ohio State University, Oklahoma State University, The University of Texas

Thursday, November 3, 2016 – CUBS WIN!

Posted on November 3, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, November 3, 2016 – CUBS WIN!

“It is a beautiful day in Chicago. Temperatures in the upper 70’s…” (Opening line from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Like Ferris Bueller, I am taking the day off to celebrate the historic victory. If you see someone driving a Ferrari, please wave. Congratulations to the Chicago Cubs!