Thursday, November 16, 2017 – Snarky Football Thursday

I know it is Thursday and the Football Snark appears on Friday. But I must leave the country tomorrow and go to Austin. I am not at liberty to tell you where I am going in the Still Land of the Weird, but there will be metal detectors, secret service, no purses or backpacks, no phones allowed, you may have nothing your hands and your car keys will be returned to you as you exit. If still interested, check out Bookpeople.com and Friday’s event.

So the Snark arrives early and let us see what is happening Saturday in college football? Are you kidding me? What idiots at ESPN, ABC, CBS and SEC are in charge of programming and scheduling? There are nine football games at 11:00 am. Ten, if you count Clemson and The Citadel at 11; 20. Eight of those 11:00 AM games are Top 25 Ranked teams. Who is in charge of this? The intern from the Community College? Someone who hates football?

Who at ESPN thought Oklahoma and Kansas in prime time at 2:30 would be worth watching? Were you looking at a basketball schedule?

I am happy that Texas A&M University and The University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) are schedule for 6:00 PM on ESPN2. Since the game will be played in Oxford, the Grove will be active all day with greetings of Howdy and Hotty Toddy as traditions for the visiting Aggie Former Students and the Ole Miss alums prepare as their teams play for pride; with glorious runs and plays, rousing cheers and bands of the grand times of glory playing with spirit until the victor leaves the field in honor and glory. (How was I doing? I was doing a Faulkner sentence.)

How about a little John Grisham? The contract lawyers at Texas A&M University and Florida State University poured over loop holes in their respective coaches’ contracts until the wee hours. The A&M Lawyers said “We must wait until the LSU game ends before we can make an offer to Jimbo Fisher.” The Florida State lawyer replied “Coach Fisher’s contract is valid until 2024 at $5.55 million per year. Is the university prepared to pay his buyout?” To be continued.

Meanwhile back in Oxford.

“Are You Ready?

Hell Yeah! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty,

Who The Hell Are We? Hey!

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn!”

Hotty Toddy, my butt!

BTHO Ole Miss!